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BrofLong Archive

View 4 posts and 181 comments by BrofLong on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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2

Indeed - I'm not going to sugarcoat that the experience isn't made much harder by what we're given. But you can either let that crush you or find a niche where you can experience some success. I think very, very few people are unable to have a niche at all. If you want something though, you gotta grind for it. Sometimes, that means grinding much harder than someone else since your starting point is a lot different. Only you can decide if the grind isn't worth it - it's okay to step away complete…
/r/PurplePillDebate01/11/22 03:22 PM
5

There are dozens of us! Dozens!
/r/PurplePillDebate31/10/22 04:46 AM
9

Or when you offer advice as a guy even. Like bro, I'm not a chad, I'm 5'3" and Asian. Probably like 98% of women filter me out on OLD. That said, here's what I found that seems to works. And it's either crickets or downvotes lol.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/10/22 01:12 AM
3

Many guys here don't have much experience leveraging social skills into establishing presence/generating attraction. If you don't stand out physically, then you have to stand out socially. Your example is an excellent ice breaker, which I've used (unwittingly?) on occasion. I think it also helps to emphasize it's not always so much what you say, so much as giving off a vibe that you're genuinely hoping to connect with people. People speak to physical safety a lot around here, but there's also ps…
/r/PurplePillDebate26/10/22 08:46 PM
10

You hit a nail on the head that I was actually working on a post about. A lot of conventional advice (or BP if you will) assumes the best in both parties, where you make decisions that makes sense for you long-term, you're both seeing things rationally, there's no trauma or upbringing negatively impacting behaviors, etc. BP is like classical economics in that they assume a theoretical perfect actor who responds entirely logically to a scenario. In reality, most people aren't that. We're 'predict…
/r/PurplePillDebate25/10/22 06:46 PM
5

With some minor caveats, I agree with you. And honestly, we do find people we spend more time with more attractive over time. I can't tell you exactly when, but around a month ago, I looked at our first couple pictures together. I was like "huh, she's really pretty." Now, I legit know some of that is love goggles. But if we're a great fit and happy, and she's beautiful in my eyes, does if truly matter if we're 'objectively' 4's, 5's, or 6's in real life?
/r/PurplePillDebate25/10/22 05:51 PM
17

I've tried, with mixed results (speaking as a guy). There's a certain amount of leeway you can give that love goggles will eventually overcome. But there's a personal physical attraction floor - below that, a lack of desire or willingness to invest will eventually build resentment and/or erode any foundation. My current g/f for example is not 100% "my type," physically speaking. However, her positive qualities more than make up for my quibbles, many of them apparent from our very first date. I'v…
/r/PurplePillDebate25/10/22 04:20 PM
3

It's not quite pressure, but more of a pre-selection thing. You are now 'safe' - it's the same for guys as well, but to a more subtle extent. To your point, I experience the same by simply name-dropping my g/f when meeting and talking with other women, especially in a new setting. You can see them relax and become much friendlier since they don't have to worry about me 'misreading' their interest. Ironically, that allows both of us to be the most authentic versions of ourselves, which bumps up t…
/r/PurplePillDebate24/10/22 06:57 PM
1

I think it's more individual personality + chance. People who have stable personality traits that are good for long-term relationships tend to stay paired up once they find someone. Those who found their partners early on then, who shared the same mindset, will stick together for the long haul. Contrast with the unlucky for example who don't find a partner with the same mindset, or who possess traits unsuitable for long-term relationships themselves, or for whatever reason cannot find a matching…
/r/PurplePillDebate26/09/22 07:47 PM
15

less attractive people do better at their jobs because they're trying to compensate or something, especially because they've been judged more harshly throughout their life in everything they do. Generally speaking, I'd chalk it up more to survivorship bias than compensating. Unattractive people who aren't competent will fail out quickly (people don't take it easy on them). So overtime, you only notice the ones who are more competent. Instead, if they were more attractive, they're more likely to …
/r/PurplePillDebate20/09/22 01:41 AM
18

I don't want to go into detail about why they're less attractive, unless someone is super curious then I will. I mean, wouldn't that be an important part of your thesis? You kind of have to define what you mean by attractiveness to claim that your less attractive friends are doing better than your more attractive friends. But to your question, there are many potential reasons. One I don't see mentioned often however is that highly attractive people tend to make it through life with a lot of thin…
/r/PurplePillDebate20/09/22 12:15 AM
18

I mean, 33 probably makes me a boomer to the teens and young-20s around here, but people don't spend that much time on it unless the number is egregious. A person who's been with 5-10 partners by 30 means they're averaging 1 new partner every 1-2 years. That's just life. You can of course screen someone out for their past - I would advise someone to do so if it will slowly grind at them and jeopardize the relationship. Just be prepared to have fewer options and be okay with that. While you can b…
/r/PurplePillDebate19/09/22 04:07 PM
2

I disagree. Excess weight looks good on nobody. In men, your gut takes away the classically desired V-shape. In women, it bloats the waist and detracts from the classically desired hourglass figure. Excess weight does not look masculine - it just looks unhealthy.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/09/22 04:45 PM
6

Not just unstable, but having traits that are antithesis to you. For example, I am extremely grated by flakiness/extreme tardiness. I avoid them now, even if they are extremely attractive. It's honestly just not worth it.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/09/22 09:54 PM
5

I always hear that men don’t care about a woman’s resources and career but I know there are exceptions. Despite what you've heard, maybe here or elsewhere about men not caring about things like career and finances, they're a big deal for men in the middle class/upper middle class range. You can see discussions of that here. If anything, the adulting qualities like good job and stable lifestyle means those guys are likely looking for a similar pairing. I don't know what trial you endured, and it …
/r/PurplePillDebate31/08/22 08:58 PM
3

Echoing the first book, it amuses me when people are like "eww, I don't want to read a book about how to manipulate people into being friends with me." I'm like...did you read the book, or are you reacting to your strawman of it? The author literally called himself out on being a phony and fake pretentious at one point and how that cost him a valuable relationship. One of the tenets is literally 'become genuinely interested in other people." That's literally the opposite of being fake and manipu…
/r/PurplePillDebate25/08/22 04:15 PM
8

Eh, I don't think it's unique to men (talking as a guy). Everybody gets FOMO. Grass is greenest where you water it.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/08/22 02:51 PM
8

Plenty of good people here have good discussion points. If you can, just RES tag them or make a mental list of who to engage with (or who you just kind of ignore). I have a general mental tier list of regulars I see here. They fall into some camps: Usually balanced, even if they're in a different ideology/worldview than me. Engage for a generally productive conversation. Overly anecdotal and uses their reality as everyone's reality (not necessarily wrong, but they also seem resistant to anything…
/r/PurplePillDebate22/08/22 05:51 PM
5

It's more that physical attraction gets you a chance, but the rest keeps you around. People are just focused on different parts of the courtship. It's akin to interviews and jobs. Men who can't even get into the door for an interview notices the disparity. Some men who are more physically appealing never seem to struggle getting work whenever they are in-between jobs, regardless of their actual resumes. But like the working world, people tunnel in on job experience and quality of interview, even…
/r/PurplePillDebate19/08/22 05:10 PM
2

I'm not OP, but I don't think it's pure venting. It's a vent-and-pontificate most of the time. Ironically, this is what a lot of men accuse women of doing lol - seeking validation for their positions. Which, if their position is invalid or not popular, they will not find said validation (at least, not publicly. There might be private support through DMs). For what it's worth, I think there's been a lot of good insight thrown around. You just have to sift through and grab the useful bits among th…
/r/PurplePillDebate19/08/22 04:50 PM
3

I think we need to encourage everyone and anyone to be physically active (if not fit, then at least of healthy weight). It's just too common these days for people to let themselves go.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/08/22 02:17 PM
1

I definitely think your prior circle has something to do with it. I've dated some artsy types, and they definitely trend toward the hedonistic or at least unstructured side of life. I think it makes sense: they're usually more unconventional and less rules-bound. You kinda have to be to push your artistic vision out there. But the general attitude seeps into other parts of life as well. Many of the artsy people I know are happily coupled up, but anecdotally the crowd as a whole is more "free lov…
/r/PurplePillDebate18/08/22 06:37 AM
11

The extreme extroverts and introverts. People who's prefered lifestyle isn't mainstream in their area. People too high or too low on any scale really is going to struggle. People who's values aren't common in the opposite gender. The more unconventional someone is, the smaller their pool of potentially interested partners will be. It really does suck and I feel for them. My only caveat to add is that if you are proud of your unconventional ways, you should also accept that you can't really expec…
/r/PurplePillDebate18/08/22 06:25 AM
12

Mostly red, but I’ve seen FOMO do far more damage to relationships than previous hoe phases. I would say this applies to men as well. Late bloomer guys who suddenly got a lot more attention can start to sabotage their own relationship thinking the grass is greener elsewhere. You only know your character once you've been properly tempted.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/08/22 06:17 AM
2

Men must be able to be able to run a household as well and efficiently as women. I notice there's a general tendency for women to be cleaner than men (on average). But I agree. All genders must know basic maintenance and yard chores. Wait, you guys can afford a yard?
/r/PurplePillDebate18/08/22 04:24 AM
2

Fingers crossed that the world I want really isn't just some blue pill fantasy. What does that world look like? And has it appeared similar/different to the one you've observed in your corner of the world?
/r/PurplePillDebate18/08/22 04:20 AM
4

Money can eliminate some hardships, but it's not actually all that foundational for relationship successes. Plenty of poor and happy couples, and plenty of rich and miserable ones.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/08/22 04:14 AM
1

Does good looks encompass facial attractiveness mostly? Or are you referring to it more generically as physically fit, tall, etc. And I assume you are more focused on men with the statement above, but does the corollary also applies to women?
/r/PurplePillDebate18/08/22 04:11 AM
2

Not entirely sure what you mean by this. Physical might? In dating context? Or something else?
/r/PurplePillDebate18/08/22 04:09 AM
7

I've seen this in person lol. It might work when you're like 15-20, but most adults will just kind of roll their eyes and laugh behind the peacock's back.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/08/22 03:52 AM
4

Is this a bluest red pill take, or a reddest blue pill take?
/r/PurplePillDebate18/08/22 03:27 AM
9

Is this a bluest red pill take, or a reddest blue pill take?
/r/PurplePillDebate18/08/22 03:26 AM
11

I don't think it's a leadership thing (speaking as a guy with modest success in dating). It's more of a FOMO thing. You are right in that once you feel like you've had your "fair share" of experience, there's no real difference between like 15 vs. 20. But if you've only been with 1 person and they've been with 10, then your relative lack of history can make you uncomfortable. I was a late bloomer who didn't have much (or really, any) dating success until like half way through undergrad. By then,…
/r/PurplePillDebate17/08/22 03:51 PM
43

Also, get yourself a "wingman". A guy who enters a bar already talking to another guy, is far more attractive than a guy who enters alone. This is all time-tested stuff, but a lot of it gets forgotten, if you don't go out much. I used to do this with a group of guy friends about 10 years back when we were all regulars at the bars in undergrad. We'd do the enthusiastic "Yo! [Insert Name]'s here!" when one of our buddies roll in. It makes them feel good, it might get brief attention from other tab…
/r/PurplePillDebate16/08/22 07:36 PM
2

My goodness, all that for not even 30 yet. Losing weight/staying at a healthy weight was way easier for me even 5 years ago. I’m knocking on my mid 30s and I’d love to have my late 20s metabolism back.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/08/22 12:20 AM
2

Yeah, dates have gotten expensive lol. Used to be $40-50 was a decent food date. Now it's like $70-80 for the same experience. You seem to have a good head on your shoulders though. Personally, if I was having a drink, I'd like her to have one too, and I usually communicate my intention to have a drink ahead of time.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/08/22 01:23 AM
6

Good process flow tbh - any woman I've ever gone a date with who offered to pay (which I usually say not to worry about it if we're having a good time), or at least covered the tips (which is where I graciously accept), gets a massive boost in my eyes. I make enough that it's not really an issue. And maybe it's a big city thing where the dating pool competition is just fiercer, but it feels like guys are just expected to pay. I'm generally neutral/fine about it unless it's clear she's making it …
/r/PurplePillDebate02/08/22 05:04 PM
34

This goes for any content creation, including creative stuff like art, music, etc. I would even include sports, but that’s a slightly different revenue model. But the short version is that a smallish group at the top will take home the bulk of the pay. Everyone else is fighting for the remaining last slice of the proverbial pie after 5 of the 6 pieces have already been taken. It’s also why I don’t solely buy the ‘just work harder bro’ message. Hard work is a necessary condition, but it’s not suf…
/r/PurplePillDebate31/07/22 07:31 AM
4

You're 29 lol - you haven't even hit the new 20s yet!
/r/PurplePillDebate30/07/22 02:59 PM
2

Kinda interesting you mentioned your type. My last roommate had a type for hyper-independent men as well. It seems to have come from her dating experience in her 20s when she dated codependent guys before that. She pivoted to the other extreme basically because of how much the codependent guys turned her off. I'd be curious how you came to find hyper independence attractive. For her part, it didn't really worked out either - hyper independent guys (at least the ones she dated) tend to not find b…
/r/PurplePillDebate30/07/22 02:58 PM
2

So close, just a little more...
/r/PurplePillDebate27/07/22 11:13 PM
2

Heroin Hero as a concept was hilarious. It also parallels what addiction to video games might be like as well. I've definitely had a couple days of binging a game where I was like "am I even enjoying this experience or am I just caught up in someone else's designed dopamine grind?"
/r/PurplePillDebate27/07/22 02:20 PM
1

The focus on /r/ppd seems to be more on dating usually, but I think another avenue where women get penalized is the professional workforce. And no, I'm not talking about wage gap or promotability even (though those are indirectly affected). Women seem to have lower career peaks on average because we a) associate good leadership with traits that are generally more masculine, b) they have fewer role models that they can template successes from, and c) they face constant challenges to their legitim…
/r/PurplePillDebate26/07/22 04:08 PM
5

Oh for sure, only 33, plenty of time. I sort of sound like I’m a stereotyped r/PPD woman lol - if they don’t meet my ‘standards’ then I’m still cool being single. Probably too picky though if I’m being honest. Dating isn’t a freebie like I can get a date anytime kinda deal, but spend an hour on the apps for a week and I can usually set up some dates. I’ve just found myself a bit bored with it all of late. Probably just work burnout and needing a vacation to reset my life zest.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/07/22 07:05 PM
–

If we’re being earnest, it was what I wanted at the time too. I was just drunk on juggling some options and attention at the time, which was a new experience for me. I had my breakout during college, while my high school years were pretty barren. Had I gotten one or two relationships out of the way by then, I’m pretty sure I would pursued her full throttle. The one “consolation” I suppose is that in not ultimately being serious with anyone at the time, I was able to expand my grad school applica…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/07/22 06:16 PM
–

Yep. She’s a wonderful person, couldn’t be happier for her. One of those people that radiate joy wherever they go.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/07/22 06:10 PM
–

Reading your comment brought back a memory for me. One particular woman stands out in my mind that made me go "wow, I truly f'ed that one up by not trying harder." She was always a serious dater type, so I think I psyched myself out (had a very mini playboy phase in college). Super low-maintenance gal too - I can see how some guys make a deal out of courtship being a stacked game effort-wise, but this one basically set a layup for me and I just had to dribble to the hoop. Naturally, a woman like…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/07/22 05:30 PM
5

Hahaha I had a similar experience in my younger days. I was sorta dating a coworker (grocery store, so everyone dated each other), took a dinner break with her in the car and joked "wanna give head now or later?" She sucker punched me in the shoulder and made that "wow, you're an idiot" face, but she also came by my place after work, so...
/r/PurplePillDebate20/07/22 01:43 AM
11

It largely seems to depend on if you were already in the 'it' bucket or not. If you were already on the in and just needed to ask, then mistakes are cute and endearing. If you weren't, then it's a way to justify writing you off because you weren't sufficiently appealing. It's not really all that different from a job interview. If the interviewer likes you, then admitting to your weaknesses is seen as bravery. If they're looking for a way to write you off, admitting to your weaknesses is giving t…
/r/PurplePillDebate19/07/22 07:39 PM
3

LTR is long-term relationship. Nebulous, but usually regarded as 6+ months or 1+ year. STR is short-term relationship.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/07/22 04:26 PM
6

Fair point all around.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/07/22 04:20 PM
40

I've seen several of my guy friends go through the emotional ringer for this. It hurts a lot. Contrary to the pessimism around here, many guys are willing to step in and play a fatherly role for young children. When the relationship falls apart though, and the child is ripped from their lives, it takes a while to recover mentally from that. The woman might mourn the loss of the relationship, but the guy mourns at least 2.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/07/22 02:22 PM
1

When younger, the ambition. When older, the results. Funny enough, I just had this exact conversation with my lady friend yesterday lol. She used to be all about the entrepreneurs and startup guys in her 20s. She still is now (young 30s) but it's more tailored now to the ones who have made it or at least is supplementing it with a decent income elsewhere. She's pretty established herself, so she doesn't have as much patience as before for the guys who are still prototyping.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/07/22 12:02 AM
17

The disparity is stark too - I'm in a graduate circle and almost every single person who went industry makes roughly double their academic counterpart. Once you hit mid-level and above, the disparity continues to grow further. Off the top of my head, I can instantly recall 4 individuals who left academia in the past 3 years to go applied for the increased pay (and probably healthier work hours tbh). They don't call PhDs "poor honest doctors" for no reason.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/07/22 03:11 PM
12

I thought it was the bass guitarist?
/r/PurplePillDebate18/07/22 03:04 PM
7

The more I read this sub, the more I count my blessings as a dude with standards (apparently having standards at all vs. having high ones). If the prospect does not meet the minimum ask, I'd rather be single.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/07/22 04:10 PM
1

To be fair, I think it also takes brain power to recognize someone else who has a lot of it. A non-artist for example will find most artworks to be above their talent level. A good artist can however tell you if something is merely well done or if there's something subtle and profound about a work. To use a law example for you, a layperson would probably recognize that yes, this SC justice opinion is legalese. A law student can start to see the difference in argument quality, and a clerk might r…
/r/PurplePillDebate14/07/22 03:43 PM
-1

I went through the same in my 20s lol. I was a straight A student in high school while napping on the AP bio textbook. Joining wrestling and getting toned buff did so much more for my prospect than having a top-10 SAT score. And once you're in college, your GPA in high school is useless, just as once you break into the work force, your GPA in college is useless. So if you're above average in smarts, any extra brain power has massive diminishing returns. Unless you're top of the class (i.e. statu…
/r/PurplePillDebate14/07/22 02:57 PM
9

If Bill Gates and 9 random dudes are at the bar, the average net worth in that room is around $20 billion. 9 of those 10 dudes will probably fall below average. I think the pass/fail model is more accurate to capture 'standards' than averages anyways. You want to be an attractive prospect, you have to pass the minimum pass/fail for as many traits as possible. There's some amount of tradeoffs that can happen (a more homely looking guy can get buff and radiate their social skills), but the pass/fa…
/r/PurplePillDebate14/07/22 02:36 PM
2

Men have had slightly socially sanctioned infidelity for thousands of years. Theyve shown that they enjoy variety. Why not just jump for joy when their woman partner suggests it nowadays and not question it too much? While true, most men don't have the means, nor in some cases (including myself) the desire to be non-monogamous. It's cool in theory for like all of 5 minutes until I realize how much better it is to spend time and commit to one 'teammate' than constantly be on the recruit for new c…
/r/PurplePillDebate12/07/22 08:15 PM
7

This is anecdotal of course, but you bring up a thought for me. I've definitely found women who present themselves in less traditionally feminine ways as attractive before. But I've almost always found the same woman as more attractive in a classic feminine style. Hair length for instance: I can only think of one woman who I've met in real life who I thought was more attractive with shorter hair instead of shoulder length (or at least neck length) hair. Admittedly, this could be resulting from d…
/r/PurplePillDebate11/07/22 05:17 PM
5

Belief can be nudged - we do it all the time. Exposure to experiences that shape our perceptions work, or else propaganda of any sort would fail. Gratitude can't be forced if someone is truly miserable, but it can take apathy to gratefulness more often than not. A lot of times, I think people are just blind to perks they receive from their significant other. Teaching people to focus on those perks can promote gratitude.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/07/22 03:31 PM
142

Having been friends with many women and lived with a few as roommates, I would say the biggest notable difference is that women, generally speaking, have a lot more going on socially. You can say it's partly because they're more likely to actively cultivate a network, which in my opinion is definitely true. Men are more individualistic and tend to keep a smaller social circle (on average). That said, women simply get more invites to things too. My old roommate has her phone literally buzzing 24/…
/r/PurplePillDebate30/06/22 03:27 PM
1

Just raising awareness so people don't put hard filters on for value of jobs. I think there's a perk for both men and women to think a step past just job title. Not everyone needs to become a doctor or a lawyer, and on the flip side one might be surprised that the 'low-value job' guy brings a lot of value to the table. I also find the notion somewhat classist, but that's another discussion. I say this as a white-collar guy who watch some of my blue-collar friends struggle to date because they wo…
/r/PurplePillDebate18/06/22 01:41 AM
12

Just a slight addendum (not disagreeing with your general premise). There are dead-end jobs that pay quite well. A server/bartender for high-end places bring in massive amounts vs. a Denny's or Applebee's equivalent. So while society regards those two jobs as equal, tips at a high-end restaurant can routinely catapult some servers to like $50/hr on busy nights. Other jobs that are also considered dead-ends (e.g. trash collector) also pay really well. So while most dead-end jobs don't pay well, t…
/r/PurplePillDebate17/06/22 07:52 PM
3

Lmao my resume is actually boring as shit. I wish I had the heart to embellish! A few years in corporate and you can usually go anywhere else in corporate with ease, so not much embellishment needed. Word-of-mouth referral is the key anyways.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/06/22 11:42 PM
18

So you're saying that embellishing your prior accomplishments, faking success until you make it, having faux references, and displaying an unearned sense of confidence and expertise will improve the odds?
/r/PurplePillDebate16/06/22 08:28 PM
6

35 in 15 hours is doable for like maybe 5% of guys. For many-most women on OLD, you could easily get that in less than a day. Isn't this down to men being the pursuers in most situations? I think this would explain who makes the first opener. But for just matching up (which just requires both to 'swipe right' and be open to a conversation), most men don't even get that far on OLD. I get like 1-3 matches a week and I might as well be Casanova to the average young dude on PPD. Of those, half the c…
/r/PurplePillDebate15/06/22 02:17 PM
1

Is the guy who backs down from a challenge feminine because he isn’t willing to fight, or is he a real man because he knows there is nothing to gain and much to lose. How you look is entirely contextual. The smart move is to de-escalate to begin with (appealing to ego or disarming them with absurdity). If you're visibly shaking at the knees because the other guy is like twice your size, then obviously you're not going to look brave, and if you throw fists and lose, it wouldn't look good either. …
/r/PurplePillDebate14/06/22 02:46 AM
6

9 months isn't just pushing it, that's like 'save sex for marriage because they're still a virgin at 30' territory (also US Millennial context for me). I'd say reasonable max is like 3 months - even then, if you two are more or less exclusive, 3 months is a long, long time. My personal would be like 1 month max after you've established exclusivity. That's 30 days of daily texts, chats, and probably 1-2 dates a week. If they don't feel it by then or we're not physically intimate in other ways, we…
/r/PurplePillDebate28/05/22 11:21 PM
7

Seems accurate to me. I've never had trouble talking to women. Flipping the switch from friend/confidant/colleague to allure/seduction/romantic prospect is a totally different ball-game.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/05/22 10:20 PM
1

Black licorice candy has grown on me, but it's definitely an acquired taste.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/05/22 10:18 PM
0

For serious instances, I covered that in the last paragraph. For nuisance instances, it's no different than me and my bro complaining about about how our little brothers are the worst. Us guys complain about our partners too. "Omg all she does is nag me about my shoes being dirty when she has like 50 pairs." "My g/f is an absolute nightmare when she doesn't get enough sleep, but she stays up late browsing insta and then gets mad at me for it." Unless the complaint is heavy-hearted and clearly ge…
/r/PurplePillDebate26/05/22 03:48 PM
2

Complaining is one way people bond. It gives us a common enemy to rally around and build camaraderie. In many cases, the 'enemy' is a minor nuisance rather than an actual problem. It's like walking into the office and saying "Mondays, am I right?" to just about anyone, and you can probably get a conversation rolling. It's a social lubricant the same way talking about things like sports or the weather around the water-cooler. Yes, some complaints are extremely serious and are actual problems caus…
/r/PurplePillDebate26/05/22 03:15 PM
6

I thought we were purple. That's why these pills have been tasting like licorice instead of grape!
/r/PurplePillDebate26/05/22 02:53 PM
9

Not those traits, but traits that are associated with those. Narcissistic people can appear as self-loving and confident. They keep the center of attention on themselves. They get noticed. Disagreeable people can appear as assertive. There's a lot of power in being able to shut down a conversation they don't care to have, or talk over a point. They also get noticed. Aggressive people take action and can appear as people with initiative. They take active stances and get stuff done rather than wai…
/r/PurplePillDebate25/05/22 07:16 PM
3

It's all about that proportion for me. You can go full Mrs. Incredible and the proportion are wayyy off and gets into uncanny valley territory.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/05/22 02:22 PM
2

We're serial monogamists basically, with a baseline likelihood of straying. Infidelity is so pervasive in our genealogy I would be surprised it's not somewhat built into our species' behavior at some lower level. Cuckolding is hardly unique to our species further. NOTE: This is not a defense of infidelity and the damage it causes (I've never cheated and have experienced the wrong end of it, so I'm not forgiving of the behavior).
/r/PurplePillDebate24/05/22 02:13 PM
3

You never know, I think a good post gets through to someone occasionally. I'd rather see more of this (and discuss the implications) than another "men/women have to be this way because of biology. I experience it like this and thus other men/women must experience it like this too."
/r/PurplePillDebate23/05/22 04:34 PM
12

Yeah lol, this is a wild take. Even in my driest spells, I still turned people down. Some people have zero concepts of agency of self-control.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/05/22 07:52 PM
2

Depending on your definition of science, I kind of disagree with your initial statement. Science is a matter of adopting a methodology that's empirically driven, and then deriving a causal theory/framework to explain the empirical data. A third piece is the ability to test that model and iterate (some sciences like astronomy can't replicate their observations, but they can substitute that lack of observations by leveraging other fields of sciences like physics to create explanatory models). By t…
/r/PurplePillDebate18/05/22 09:49 PM
1

I play football manager, which is basically just a job lol. And sometimes, I do it to take a break from my actual job!
/r/PurplePillDebate18/05/22 09:19 PM
1

I do think OP called out one aspect of how psychology is taught in 101 classes that I really didn't like. We spend way too much time on the extremely dated and irrelevant parts of the field's history (which was mostly clinical-focused) and not enough on modern areas. It's like learning US history, but we spend half of it talking about how the English came to be before actually touching on the US revolution, and then like a week to cover everything from 1812 till today. I remembered that when I t…
/r/PurplePillDebate18/05/22 08:16 PM
2

It's best to think of them as different levels of analysis. Physics and chemistry both describe reality - chemistry is just at a higher level of abstraction where we're focused on molecules while physics is more fundamental forces making up the atoms (which in turn make up molecules). Neuroscience is more grounded than psychology in that it is more 1:1 with our biological hardware. That gets you far but at some point doesn't really address any of the questions you would want interesting answers …
/r/PurplePillDebate18/05/22 08:00 PM
3

There are lots of pop psych that have been popularized, and increasingly we discover that they rest on flimsy or non-existent evidential grounds: -learning styles: mostly fake. More to do with attention than a specific modal way of preferred learning method. -emotional intelligence: not actual 'intelligence' as we would traditionally understand the word. A lot of it seems to be practice effect, i.e. experience. -multiple intelligences: on that note, multiple intelligences has really struggled to…
/r/PurplePillDebate18/05/22 07:50 PM
2

Most of the topics I've seen discussed here is focused on clinical and perhaps a little bit of personality psychology thrown in. Clinical psychology is actually a tiny piece of the pie - most 'psychologists' by training do not work in clinical settings or contexts. Psychology is a massive field, and some are more well-defined than others. Psychometrics for example is a sub-niche that is a hybrid of psychology + statistics merged into an area of study. It's gone back 100+ years. You know those su…
/r/PurplePillDebate18/05/22 05:56 PM
2

Based on all the stuff I've read around here, my guess would be that RP believes love is super fickle. So it's real, but it's not reliable. Even the long-term, commitment-based love does not always survive the storms of life. The phrase I've seen that best encapsulates this would probably be "I love you, I'm just not in love with you anymore." I teeter between thinking RPs are jaded vs. they're hyper-realistic. In a way, a lot of us have blinders on for relationships - we overlook the worst aspe…
/r/PurplePillDebate18/05/22 06:20 AM
2

Are you asking for RP's opinion specifically? I think most non-RP people (myself included) would respond yes. Even most RP people I would guess would respond yes - it just comes with more caveats. Some people try to take the route of 'it's a chemical reaction' thing as if that somehow makes it fake. Literally all of sensations and perceptions are chemical reactions. Hunger is pretty real to me!
/r/PurplePillDebate17/05/22 09:26 PM
1

It's because most of the social ones know it's a financial ripoff and decided to leverage their social networks to go industry for 2-3x the pay. Source: I left the academic path, and have seen two professors left for double pay near instantly.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/05/22 02:08 PM
2

We shall not stand for this Scorpio intelligence erasure!
/r/PurplePillDebate11/05/22 02:04 PM
9

Or the reverse where once you stop liking a person, you stop seeing all their beauty and only see their flaws. The eyes of indifference can make a weed out of roses.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/05/22 05:30 PM
13

My sincere hope is that when this happens, it means people are taking time to digest the content and reflecting on it. Though let's be real, ain't nobody doing none of that around here lol.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/05/22 03:53 AM
6

The crux I think is that most typical people's top hobbies are consumption-based, which means they can usually do it by themselves. This makes incentivizing hobbies as a shared activity much more difficult. Examples are like music, television, food, drinking. Heck, even traveling can be done largely solo depending on how you like to experience traveling. Sure, you can do any of the above with someone else present, but if you're not of a social mindset, you can do all of it solo in your own room …
/r/PurplePillDebate05/05/22 04:52 PM
1

I wasn't bulk lol, just relative to where I was prior to it, close to the guy on the left here. That + fitted clothes was honestly enough to improved my odds quite a bit.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/05/22 11:41 PM
2

Solid advice tbh. There was a window of time in my early 20s where I slayed after bulking up at the gym a bit. And not like big, just well-defined. I peaked at like 125 lbs on 5’4” with like 17% body fat. Notable shoulders and arms, fairly flat gut with inklings of abs. It’s not like my personality changed, just that all my usual innocent jokes became interpreted less innocently (and receptively). I think there’s an ideal zone for every guy based on their looks, physical frame, height, etc. wher…
/r/PurplePillDebate03/05/22 09:52 PM
1

Held back? No. Disadvantaged? Almost certainly. Frankly, I think it takes a certain amount of blindness to claim being short and Asian (at least in a western setting) are not inherent disadvantages when it comes to dating. That said, I've had a mostly normal dating life. Perhaps that is why I can relate to some of the frustration, but not outright feel the anger. I do feel like I missed out on some good relationship prospects in my 20s, but looking back, I made some pretty dumb blunders, so I ca…
/r/PurplePillDebate03/05/22 04:05 AM
9

Low 30s, grad school —> corporate, large Midwest city. Asian, 5’4”, dating but currently single. Usually described as above average to handsome (if you’re into Asians anyways), average build (135 lbs), can pass as mid to late 20s. I stumbled upon this sub from somewhere else, don’t remember where. It’s got this blend of interesting points which helps me see where society is leaving behind or hurting people. Some of those points I relate to. Some I think are just people being trapped in a loop an…
/r/PurplePillDebate01/05/22 03:07 PM
4

Echoing this, I have on occasion grabbed valuable tidbits here and there. Sometimes it's from a guy, sometimes it's from a woman. Even if 90% of the time, it's people talking past each other, I do think that the more moderate contributors walk away with something. The ones who find their way to the sub out of pure frustration and just want to rant though are probably not going to walk away with much. Same for those who throw insults back and forth most likely. I just don't have the energy to be …
/r/PurplePillDebate28/04/22 02:09 AM
2

Oh, certainly. I don't mean to say that having no experience is the red flag in itself. It's more about why they don't have that experience. Some common themes I've come across: troubled relationship with their sexuality (so we, and I assume most other 'typical' dudes like me, would find that we are sexually incompatible), still in a party phase of their lives, extremely demanding and specific in their ideal partner's checklist, mental trauma or condition that is clearly impacting their dating, …
/r/PurplePillDebate28/04/22 12:55 AM
1

I should specify that I don't assume all of us here trolling. I might make a quip now and again, but I also try to engage in good faith. Just thought it was odd that so many user accounts only has PPD-related stuff - like, there's some quality stuff here, but it's hardly the only sub I visit lol.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/04/22 10:18 PM
2

Depends on where you're at in life for a lot of men I think. I'm young 30s with a professional career, and I'm certainly ready to start a family now were I to meet that someone soonish. But globally, this generation got dumpstered pretty hard, with two "worst recessions since the Depression" in just 10ish years. Wages have stagnated while cost of living has gone up insanely high, and most of us carry student loans in the five to six figures range. Meanwhile, the housing market has also been pric…
/r/PurplePillDebate27/04/22 05:44 AM
23

I had a chat with my best bros about this the other day. Low 30s, so roughly in OP's age range for dating. As a dude, my options within a similar age range are quickly becoming: a) single mothers, b) divorcees, or c) people who haven't had long serious relationships prior (and it becomes apparent why real soon). Yes, I get the irony of C applying to myself as well if the reverse was asked. The conversation also evolved to the three things you can look for in a potential g/f or spouse: a) facial …
/r/PurplePillDebate27/04/22 05:24 AM
3

If it's any consolation, it does get better once you hit your early to mid-30s (provided you take care of your physical shape) and age into your looks a bit more. It sucks being sidelined for a bit (I would know), but it's a great time to cultivate other traits and build a nest egg.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/04/22 05:36 PM
3

Speaking as a fellow Asian dude, our features do seem to be softer/more feminine relative to the gruff Hollywood-styled masculine - more roundedness, less sharp/chiseled, scant facial hair, etc. The default 'masculine' midpoint in the West definitely puts us in the more feminine category. Building a muscular physique definitely helps however. Part of that too is that we appear younger. I easily pass for my mid-20s, even though I'm almost 10 years past that. Were it not for my hairline starting t…
/r/PurplePillDebate25/04/22 05:19 PM
1

Matthew effect is what you are referring to.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/04/22 07:11 PM
5

It's not a scientific law, it's a statistical observation. Pareto distributions show up in all sorts of contexts when choice is involved. We have like a dozen colas in the market for example, but Coke and Pepsi dominates most of the market, with the rest splitting 10-20%. Heck, you see this with something benign like favorite color. Notice that for virtually every nation surveyed, the top 3 colors make up like 50-60% of people's favorite? Whenever choice is involved, the selections are seldom ev…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/04/22 04:42 PM
22

Research/stats guy here - sample sizes that small aren't inherently bad. Using a power calculator, you can actually get a sample size minimum estimate ahead of time. The key is to get an accurate estimate of effect size (how strong the hypothesized difference is between group a vs. group b) - the stronger the effect, the smaller the sample size needed. Based on the eye test (I haven't cracked open the studies), study 1 is definitely on the low side, but study 2 is probably sufficient for any sim…
/r/PurplePillDebate14/04/22 05:45 PM
5

1) Blame is a strong word. One trend I noticed though is that many women in my life default to a more passive role unless otherwise needing to step up, which puts the onus on the men or other women in their lives to then provide effort or else deal with the fallout. This sub is focused more on relationships it seems, but this pattern of taking the passive role impacts other aspects of life as well: not negotiating salaries, communication style being indirect and hoping hints will address the top…
/r/PurplePillDebate11/04/22 03:24 PM
1

"More men" could mean 51/49 split and could mean 20/80. The skew is usually like 55%-45% at worst, and usually only like 52%-48% usually. However, that translates to a lot of single people. If you take a million singles for example, that could mean an excess of 100,000 uncoupled individuals remaining even if we pair up everyone 1:1 randomly. Also note that men have shorter lives/die for various reasons and what we are looking at in that gif might be a simple reflection of that. Super valid point…
/r/PurplePillDebate01/04/22 03:47 PM
2

It's all personal, bb ;)
/r/PurplePillDebate31/03/22 07:55 PM
1

Nah, I went to grad school for stats and psych - sometimes, it's just fun to crunch numbers (especially when it has nothing to do with your day job). Us nerds tend to be curious people, and what's not to love about turning chaotic anecdotal energy of "just trust me bro" on /r/purplepilldebate into something more empirical?
/r/PurplePillDebate31/03/22 07:45 PM
3

Does the simulation run differently if I was a tall woman? :P But yes, you can find my comments elsewhere, and my relatively good success rate (5'4"). Sounds like I landed on a nice, juicy topic though, got a lot of conversation stirring lol, and some good follow-up ideas too.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/03/22 06:03 PM
1

For sure, and you raise good questions (the kind of follow-up stuff I hope we spend more time discussing here). But the difference of 88% vs 92% is really stretching to draw strong conclusions. As you said, the fact that random pairing already provides 88% of couples to have taller men leaves little room for significant changes. Which I noted and did not draw any major conclusions other than that the preference exists and can be detected statistically. 4% is small in effect, but it can be meanin…
/r/PurplePillDebate31/03/22 04:03 PM
1

Fair enough. This is admittedly guy-centric since I have done most of the pursuing in my own life (and height was never a screen-out on my end). The 538 article linked does also mention that there is a subset of guys who prefers to only date shorter women. The percentage is quite small however - less than 20%, so not “most” unless you have a different data source. Contrast that to almost 50% women preferring to only date guys taller than them, and I think it’s fair to state which direction exert…
/r/PurplePillDebate31/03/22 12:59 PM
2

That's why I specified that I just have an average proportional build. I'm not jacked or bean-stalky, just a faceless mannequin-looking dude struggling to find clothes that aren't too long for him (god bless evil Amazon).
/r/PurplePillDebate31/03/22 01:24 AM
3

People also don't consider most preferences consciously until they are put into that scenario. A woman might verbalize in abstract they don't mind dating a short guy until it's time to actually date one and things just don't feel right. On the other hand, some people find that their preferences aren't that set. A man might say he prefers fit/thin women, but swooned over a woman with a curvy body and above healthy weight (as I have previously experienced). On the other end though, if you are cons…
/r/PurplePillDebate31/03/22 01:07 AM
1

So I'm just your average proportional short dude who works out and does light cardio once a week. My BMI sits at around 22%, which from what I can tell is roughly the healthy amount for someone who's lightly-committed to be in-shape. It's 'ideal' in that relative to my effort and a normal diet, I can't expect to be at 18% and packing a built frame. As to who decides, I guess...me? I've literally only ever been in this range, peaking physically at maybe 18% when I was in high school and much more…
/r/PurplePillDebate31/03/22 12:56 AM
5

It's like money. Money doesn't make all your problems go away, but not having money is gonna make them worse (and add other problems).
/r/PurplePillDebate31/03/22 12:27 AM
2

Correlation appears to exist, but is quite small, and "would not serve as practical estimators of penis length" according to the researchers. https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/abs/10.1177/107906329300600305?journalCode=saxa I think there's a point to be made for childhood nutrition though as being the third variable culprit. Growing up in a poor environment affects height, and I imagine that drives development in other ways as well.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/03/22 11:31 PM
8

I've dated two women (as in bedded and not just coffee dates) who were 5'9"+. I'm 5'4" myself - didn't mind one bit. Interestingly, I noticed that the women notably taller than average are more willing to at least let me attempt to win them over than the ones near the middle. My guess is that the 5'4"ish women get enough attention that they can more readily filter me out to begin with. The ones on the tall-ish end (5'9"+) probably don't get approached nearly enough, and on my good days have auda…
/r/PurplePillDebate30/03/22 10:50 PM
2

That tells me there's a floor effect somewhere around 5'6" where if you're below that, you are below cutoff for a majority of women. It seems Figure 1 would agree with that. My guess as to why they all taper off to about the same is that shorter men are later bloomers when height starts to fall off and other factors begin to overtake that. That's been my general experience anyways. High school was zzzz for me, undergrad got slightly better, but there's been a real uptick of activity past 30. Tot…
/r/PurplePillDebate30/03/22 10:42 PM
3

Advanced stats traumatic flashback :D
/r/PurplePillDebate30/03/22 10:36 PM
8

Funny you say that, even as I was putting it into words, I was like 'yeah, this is actually kinda obvious' lol. Yet, I see a lot of anecdotes thrown around on this sub - even if it's something a bit more obvious, I'd prefer discussion starts to center around 'this is the number, what does it mean' than 'that number isn't real because it isn't my lived experience.' Hence why I put down my methods, so anyone can replicate the results if they wanted to. Maybe it's my optimism from all those researc…
/r/PurplePillDebate30/03/22 09:48 PM
4

Some complain, some joke, others just lead quiet personal lives. One single tell is inaccurate, but several of these on the list at the same time would tip it off. I complain about mundane things because it helps coworkers relate. Nobody's life is perfect after all. But when the day is up, I'm happy to head home.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/03/22 04:56 PM
3

I'm sure most has. They got coffee/a meal with a 5'4" dude at some point, and for whatever reason just didn't feel the connection. "Dated" has a pretty wide range of meaning from a one-time hour long meetup in public to a 3-month/year-long exclusive intimacy. I mean, I've gone on like a dozen dates in the past 3 months, and half of them are taller than me (5'4" guy here). So yeah, like 6 women can claim that they've dated a short guy now. Doesn't mean I'm laying any pipe with them though lol.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/03/22 04:23 PM
10

A lot of people are also on their best behaviors early on too. The masks always come off eventually though - some sooner than others, and some are just a little bit of makeup, others a whole kabuki mask.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/03/22 07:21 PM
8

I matched with an old friend a while back. She used her pre-covid photos (which is how I remembered her)...she's gained significant weight since then. It's definitely deceitful - one can argue some days you look bloated or whatever, but there's a clear 30-40 lbs difference between the pictures and what she looked like by then. A recent date was similar. She definitely looked a bit overweight in he pictures already (but not enough that I wrote her off, since her personality was delightful during …
/r/PurplePillDebate25/03/22 04:26 PM
1

In the Midwest at least, the valley drop-off seems to be around 25. So many physically attractive people I've met start ballooning right around then and gain 30+ lbs, especially so if they find a partner and it seems like their give-a-care meter is shut off indefinitely.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/03/22 06:58 PM
2

Japan's average age is also a lot higher too, no? Keeping a healthy weight definitely gets harder as one ages.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/03/22 02:36 PM
1

I was referring to back then more so, where most of our ancestors basically never strayed more than 10 miles from home their entire lives. It’s like if your high school class is the same people you’ll forever know. Once everyone starts to pair off and there’s like 5 remaining bachelors/bachelorettes, people really start to re-examine their standards if they don’t want to remain single. I agree with OP that while most options aren’t necessarily pleasing today due to the obesity crisis, there’s st…
/r/PurplePillDebate17/03/22 01:01 PM
2

Tbh, I wouldn't know, hence the might. Happy to concede the point, plus it's way in the past so it's not like I can do anything now that I'm almost 35 lol. The fitness emphasis would still have been handy for all the other aesthetics-related attraction reasons though. I spent way too long looking scrawny when I was younger (and now, slowly shaping a dad bod without the muscles underneath).
/r/PurplePillDebate16/03/22 09:40 PM
1

Paradox of choice. More options at some point can actually be worse - you become more indecisive and the experience of FOMO is greater since you're giving up a larger number of alternatives for the one eventual decision. The researcher below gave a TED talk about it (and it's not related to relationships): https://www.ted.com/talks/barry_schwartz_the_paradox_of_choice
/r/PurplePillDebate16/03/22 09:32 PM
14

This is something I've been reflecting on a lot. I'm in that demographic on the dating apps where I can consistently get a match/conversation/date with women (as in, like 2% response rate lmao), BUT...I can choose 2 usually: a) attractive face, b) attractive body, c) compatible life profile. Since I'm in my young 30's now, C is important. So it's usually a trade-off between A and B. Or on the rare occasion where A and B are both 7+, C is usually red-flagged in some notable way once we've had a c…
/r/PurplePillDebate16/03/22 09:20 PM
1

Physically: he's a bit short, but we're past the days of hunting mammoths and fighting sabretooths. At least he's still in decent shape. Mentally: sharp dude. At least she won't be bored with his antics. His decoration game is pretty weak though, hopefully she can bring more colors into their shared living spaces. Emotionally: Unremarkable. But maybe she likes the stable, corporate type. Financially: Well, at least I won't have to worry about sending her money. Spiritually: Unless she found reli…
/r/PurplePillDebate16/03/22 02:32 PM
26

Social skills (plus humor) is a must these days. So many people are shut-ins and awkward because we've gotten so used to entertaining ourselves at the expense of feedbacked social interactions.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/03/22 12:45 AM
9

Yep, the match stats bear it out. To your point, Asian men are rarely portrayed in masculinely attractive ways in media (until very recently). We’re usually the scrawny, dorky, nerdy sidekicks. When we have romantic interests, it’s usually another Asian person, so you also don’t see too many interracial relationships with an Asian love interest (and the ones that do appear are usually the women, who have an entire history of being fetishized). Even when we do have a love-involved plot, it’s much…
/r/PurplePillDebate14/03/22 09:46 PM
3

You can see them in the video and hear them interact with the rater as well. I think you'll be surprised who ended up being the most 'attractive' once a few minutes of interaction occurred.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/03/22 07:58 PM
2

As #7 guy (not literally): chuckles I'm in danger
/r/PurplePillDebate14/03/22 07:48 PM
1

Oh for sure, no disagreements there. We can't help if people misapply stuff to make themselves feel better. I'm here for the learning though, which I guess might ultimately be the reason why there's no progress to be made other than the occasional tidbit of insight. It seems like most of the efforts here are just ranting and shouting past each other for validation. I understand why that happens - I'm just sad since there's such potential here to do more than waste each other's time going in circ…
/r/PurplePillDebate09/03/22 05:04 PM
1

Our measurable stats would actually be an interesting study in itself. I was more just thinking studies or figures people quote are almost always lacking. I've just never been the type to argue aimlessly, so to me it seems like a waste of time anyways. I get it if the point is just to argue for validation's sake, but I guess it would be a waste to not use the portal as an opportunity to learn a thing or two occasionally from each other.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/03/22 03:41 PM
1

A single individual study may have flaws, sure, but a multitude pointing in a general direction would be meaningful. There's a study type called meta-analysis that is basically this logic applied: you coalesce all the studies of the same variables together and derive the 'real' effect size. While there may be errors in the individual studies, their aggregate should show us what the general effect is, or indicate if our error has a consistent pattern (the 'funnel' of effect sizes are biased for i…
/r/PurplePillDebate09/03/22 03:36 PM
1

There was a thread a while back with some neat studies cited. Unfortunately, it didn't get a lot of traction. A lot of people come here for their daily dose of outrage/controversy, so actual meaty discussions rarely go anywhere. https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/sd3d9k/which_studiesresearch_prove_pill_philosophies_and/
/r/PurplePillDebate09/03/22 01:08 AM
2

Agreed. I wouldn't ask for perfect clarity and consensus, just higher-quality discussions. Indeed, lack of consensus is sort of necessary for healthy discussion/debate - we're just not even discussing the same thing half the time it seems since we're all talking past each other. Some of that has to do with people around here deploying bad statistical logic. We're usually at the "is climate change even real?" level, when I think we benefit more from taking it "what is the impact of 2 degrees vs. …
/r/PurplePillDebate09/03/22 12:46 AM
3

I'm not RP myself, but RP is supposed to be based on 'the truth' anyways, is it not? So you don't have to do research specific to RP, just research that can be extrapolated to RP findings. Plus, we've seen many examples of research quoted here, so I don't think it's cancelled. For example, we know that an overabundance of choices make people indecisive (decision paralysis in decision making research). One way they resolve this paralysis is by using mental shortcuts. Another way is that they seri…
/r/PurplePillDebate08/03/22 09:44 PM
2

That's their marketing anyways. We all know the product rarely lives up to the hype. I think what most consumers of RP content need are good mentors to help them navigate downturns and avoid thought traps. Unfortunately, good mentors are in high demand and in awful short supply.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/03/22 09:36 PM
2

Pretty much, yeah. There is no formula for landing the head cheerleader, for manipulating the waitress into giving you her number, no formula to impersonate Chad. There's no formula for a getting a specific person to find you attractive, sure - no disagreements from me there. But there's plenty of formulations to increase someone's generic appeal overall so that somebody out there might find them attractive. Get in shape, take care of your mental health, cultivate confidence, achieve something, …
/r/PurplePillDebate08/03/22 09:32 PM
3

It's possible to have an analytical view of a topic and indulge in conversation without directly being negatively affected by it. Should we only have feelings and anecdote-driven conversation? I spend a lot of time discussing my concerns for the widening economic inequality even as I make six figures. Would you say if I had a less socialist approach to money I probably wouldn't be on /r/politics complaining about it?
/r/PurplePillDebate08/03/22 08:17 PM
9

Which is a shame. I've had some assumptions changed and learned a thing or two. It does require entering conversations in good faith though.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/03/22 07:41 PM
6

I'm not 100% familiar with red-pill literature - is the SUBFIVE thing mostly about looks? I only use attractiveness as an example since I thought those posts about Gini is a step above the usual stuff we see here. We can apply this topic to larger conversations about things like income as well. Men on average makes more than women, but there's a lot of variance that once accounted for, dramatically reduces the gap. I'm totally supportive of addressing these variables which impacts the variance (…
/r/PurplePillDebate08/03/22 07:27 PM
6

Oh I feel this, man. Do a cool predictive regression and nobody bats an eye. Add two numbers wrong on a slide and the wrath of corporate falls upon your shoulders.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/03/22 07:16 PM
1

I am lazy, unambitious, boring, introverted, antisocial and unremarkable. I doubt you're lazy about everything. Or lazier than the average bloke who would choose not to work if they didn't have to. A better version here is unmotivated. So the fix is to find some way to align your motivation with life conditions (though I acknowledge that it's difficult and not always possible to make a living doing what you're motivated to want to do). Nothing wrong with being unambitious either. Most people are…
/r/PurplePillDebate08/03/22 05:02 PM
2

Lizard brain number system is probably a lot simpler than that. 0 - no chance. 1 - highly circumstantial, maybe yes but mostly no. 2 - great prospect, yes unless killer. 3 - sparks flying all over, system error.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/03/22 08:21 PM
2

Asians in general are seen as less masculine. So you have to cultivate some masculine swagger. It's a delicate balance between seeming confident and manly vs. appearing like you're overcompensating. Muscles help, as is being social. This becomes tougher if you're shorter like me. Like it or not, short men aren't allowed to behave angrily - we're mostly relegated to playing the comedic relief. You have to lean into that in order to have a shot. That means working on humor and social skills. Havin…
/r/PurplePillDebate25/02/22 05:54 PM
2

What is Whisper exactly? It looks like some sort of chat board like Reddit, but with profile pics?
/r/PurplePillDebate24/02/22 09:17 PM
5

Idk why people circle past the height issue. It'd be like circling past facial beauty or weight. It makes a metric ton of difference when it comes to attraction - it just is. If you see me in real life (5'4"), you'd think I do super well with women. I'm the office darling, I am quite disarming (and depending on who, charming) with the ladies, gay men shoot their shot with me (I'm a twink apparently), and I've experienced women mustering up courage to approach/send those blatant hints on many occ…
/r/PurplePillDebate24/02/22 09:15 PM
3

Easy way to test this theory really: have that guy make 2 profiles, one listed as 5'6", and one as 6'0", and see the difference. For good rigor, do a 5'9" or 5'10" as control group.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/02/22 08:50 PM
10

That does explain why I see almost 0 action on Bumble lol (5'4"). Breakdown of matches per 100 swipes/intros sent is probably like: Bumble: 0 - 1 per 500 swipes Hinge: 3 -5 per 100 intros (could be higher tbh, but my left swipe ratio on this app is like 80%) Tinder: 1 - 2 per 100 swipes OKCupid: 3 - 5 responses per 100 intros
/r/PurplePillDebate24/02/22 08:47 PM
3

Your last point is more about the difference between resume review and interview though. Things like confidence, charisma, clothes, etc. are important at the interview stage. Until then however, you have to get past the ATS (applicant tracking system), which is where most people struggle (just like in real life job applications). So it's not that the coach advice are wrong, only that they apply at step 2 and not step 1. And step 1 usually means all sorts of bs fluff and key phrases so that the A…
/r/PurplePillDebate23/02/22 05:55 PM
11

Beauty fads can elevate certain individuals if they have the form for those fads, but it's more of a enhancer. Let's use Elizabeth Olsen from Wanda/Vision. She essentially cosplayed every decade between the 1950's till today in terms of fashionable looks. She was attractive in any style, because she is attractive at her base. Now is she everyone's type? No, some men will not find her attractive. But that's a specific man's opinion - by and large, the population at large will find her Elizabeth O…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/02/22 10:43 PM
1

Yeah, I don't know about any sadness lol. It clears your mind and gives you a little boost. If you're tired, you're more awake. If you wanna wind down, it's relaxing.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/02/22 05:44 PM
3

Blow for bowl?
/r/PurplePillDebate21/02/22 05:27 PM
2

I've experienced it before (as a man). It's tough to explain because it's not driven by conscious thought. It's a visceral desire, almost like an addiction actually. You might even recognize it's not healthy, the same way an addict may rationally understand that their desire for the narcotic is wrong, but that simply won't matter. The obsession and compulsion are coming from deeper in your psyche. It's also not always about hotness either. They will be irresistibly hot to you in the moment, but …
/r/PurplePillDebate21/02/22 04:30 PM
1

Tbh I kind of wish there was a bigger emphasis on physical fitness for me growing up. Not only for the aesthetics, but for the growth hormones stimulation as well. Might have helped me grown a couple extra inches. Being 5'6" would still be fairly short, but it would have gotten me past the cuffs on some edge cases where being 5'4" was undoubtedly below the threshold.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/02/22 08:40 PM
15

I appreciate whenever someone here voices a more mature view. It's like everyone is so caught up in "well, things are tough for my group too!" that they can't sincerely just say "I understand, the way that your cards were dealt really truly sucks because of XYZ." Just that and then a pause so the person who's frustrated can feel heard. A little empathy goes such a long way. I get it, being a woman sucks in many, many ways. Being a man sucks in many, many different ways. Nobody I know prefers str…
/r/PurplePillDebate16/02/22 10:47 PM
2

Are...are we having a wholesome bro moment on a sub full of toxicity? Is this legal?
/r/PurplePillDebate15/02/22 06:48 PM
2

I'm a strategy games wonk, so I tend to approach life with a similar attitude. We can learn a lot from games if we approach them as an educational tool and not just mindless entertainment. A lot of the high-level concepts carry over to real life: experience, progression, feedback, etc. If you read books about how to become more effective at your goals, for example, most of them involve learning how to think strategically, becoming organized, etc. It's the same stuff you learn from strategy games…
/r/PurplePillDebate15/02/22 05:46 PM
4

It sounds like you enjoy proceeding from an eagle-eyed view of gaming, where maximizing strategic advantages and stuff like that are important. I think that actually makes up a rather small portion of dedicated players in any game base however. Games with a sliding scale of difficulty will usually allow casual players to win with suboptimal build paths. For many players, the ability to express themselves through their own unique playstyle (even if it's far from perfect) is more important than op…
/r/PurplePillDebate15/02/22 04:20 PM
2

Also a little bit of the "not in my backyard" effect too. Many people can be supportive of a cause (everyone deserves to be happy and find someone who loves them). When it comes time to put their beliefs to practice however, most people stay on the sidelines. "Sure, everyone should be able to find love and romance...I'm just not attracted to them." For a more extreme example, consider that a decent portion of the population would support trans rights, trans being able to marry, etc. But ask thos…
/r/PurplePillDebate14/02/22 04:34 PM
1

Did you create a program to auto-swipe for you? Combined with unlimited swipes, then yeah, you can basically run through the whole pool of your city and come out with available prospects lol.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/02/22 05:26 PM
2

Yep. Game is state of mind. Having height, wealth, status, etc. is playing the game on easy mode. If you can't access easy mode, then you need to play strategically and cultivate game.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/02/22 05:05 PM
10

Therapy is also functional. Therapists aren't meant to be friends - it's a relationship with a defined goal and end. Ideally, they give you structure and a systematic approach to tackling whatever the problem is that you are seeking therapy for. Sure, they'll listen to your problems (with the intention to help you solve it), but paying for just a sympathetic ear is a terrible use of therapy.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/02/22 04:43 PM
1

TRP is a larger umbrella than MGTOW. TRP is a collection of tenets that claims to unveil how the dating/relationships/marriage reality "really is." From there, it's a matter of each TRP person to choose what to do with their newfound understanding. MGTOW is one path to navigate that reality (i.e. game is rigged, best move is not to play). Other paths exist however - some become perennial plate-spinners. Others marry traditional women and maintain the patriarchal nuclear family model. Some pick u…
/r/PurplePillDebate09/02/22 04:02 PM
15

Japanese culture has a term 'herbivore men' to describe the phenomenon. Based on my reading, they're closer to MGTOW than TRP proper, though it's not a perfect overlap. In short, herbivore men: Do not make any real effort to pursue romantic relationships, long-term or short-term Do not appear to be ambitious with regards to work Exhibit less traditionally masculine characteristics https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Herbivore_men
/r/PurplePillDebate08/02/22 09:44 PM
3

I even acknowledge the difficulties of dating for women who are jaded and find themselves on FDS...sigh.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/02/22 07:50 PM
8

You're thinking "capital T" Truth - the thing is, a lot of TRP and FDS individuals experience many "little t" truths from within those communities that resonate with them. A lot of TRP men in their 20s struggle with dating, and some common themes emerge. TRP is one formulation to address those themes. A lot of FDS women struggle with vetting, and some common themes emerge. FDS is their formulation to address those themes. When you have a community united by struggle, of course there will be ange…
/r/PurplePillDebate07/02/22 05:58 PM
5

This is actually sound advice. There's a philosophy about game design that talks about the importance of polarizing presentation. The gist is if you design a game that is a 7 across-the-board, you will have a game that everyone likes, but nobody loves (aka it's fun but lacks the 'spark'). I think this is a problem for most people in the dating pool - they try to be the most carbon copy of their selves (which makes sense, since they want to draw the biggest broad appeal possible). So while they g…
/r/PurplePillDebate03/02/22 06:39 PM
6

Laughter? What's that? Didn't you know when men hang out in groups, we just try to piss each other off until we devolve into caveman grunts and plot the oppression of under-privileged groups using our Neolithic brains?
/r/PurplePillDebate03/02/22 06:30 PM
6

I'm willing to take a bet that many guys will definitely hand $200 over without thinking twice about it. A good date is like $100 in the city, with no guarantee of success. $200 is maybe 2-3 dates - many guys would easily take a 100% success rate for that money and skip out on long-shots. Also, if you look at pricing on said illicit activities, $200 is...wayyy below market rate. And that's with a stranger who's all business. I imagine the friend/acquaintance will remain so after the act, and pro…
/r/PurplePillDebate31/01/22 05:51 PM
2

My futures for tulip bulbs have never been more valuable!...since the 1600s anyways.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/01/22 05:38 PM
3

There were some commercials during the World Cup a while back lol, with the slogan "Do it for Denmark" or something to that effect.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/01/22 05:35 PM
3

Your last points seem key. It's the difference between recruiting vs. hiring. Hot people don't have to invest as much into recruiting. They had applicants by the hundreds and thousands, so they cultivated a robust filtering/vetting system instead. Once few or no qualified candidates coming through the doors anymore (30-40s compared to 20s), they scramble to put up job ads and do haphazard work or hire a poor candidate just to have someone in the role. In contrast, people with fewer options have …
/r/PurplePillDebate06/12/21 08:08 PM
You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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