~ archived since 2018 ~
~ archived since 2018 ~
| Upvotes | Title | Category | Author | Subreddit | Date (UTC) |
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| Upvotes | Comment on | Subreddit | Date (UTC) |
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| 2 | Best Cold Approach Openers – What Actually Works for You?Usually, I'll text them in front of them, because often the "memorable thing" will get a giggle out of them. Though sometimes I'll text them after the fact, I don't think it matters too much. Most of the women I meet are by going out at night, so if she texts me back the same night, that usually means the door is open to continue the night. For example, I met a girl about a month ago at a bar. We hit it off, but when I went for the kiss, she backed up and told me that she was interested, but tha… | /r/seduction | 03/09/25 05:45 PM |
| 2 | Best Cold Approach Openers – What Actually Works for You?Sorry, I wasn't checking Reddit over the long weekend and didn't see your response. If they give me their number, I'll call it right there in front of them. This confirms A. that it's real, and B. that they have my number. I'll also text them my name and something to remember me by, "Bryce the Hot Guy in the flamingo polo", or something else memorable about our interaction. Then I'll usually text them the next day to set up a date, unless they text me back later that same day. Once they agreed t… | /r/seduction | 02/09/25 07:34 PM |
| 2 | Best Cold Approach Openers – What Actually Works for You?Happy to help. Glad it's working out so well for you :) | /r/seduction | 29/08/25 07:58 PM |
| 1 | Putting the heat back into hot & cold?46 years old, and you talk like an angry child in a CoD lobby on Xbox. No wonder this woman doesn't communicate with you. | /r/seduction | 28/08/25 10:05 PM |
| 1 | Putting the heat back into hot & cold?Judging by your emotionally-charged response, from a 46-year-old man no less, I'm sure you'll maintain this woman for the long-term. Good luck to you man, if you don't want advice, don't ask questions you're not open-minded to having answered. | /r/seduction | 28/08/25 04:17 AM |
| 0 | Putting the heat back into hot & cold?Call it whatever you want; you asked for help understanding this woman. You think my answer is misogynistic? Here's some biology: By age 35, about 50% of women experience a decline in their ability to conceive naturally. By age 40, that percentage increases to 75%. You've "hung out" with this woman at least 6 times and have not expressed any interest in pursuing a serious relationship. What you have is casual. She likely understands that her clock is ticking, so in those 2-week downtimes, she's … | /r/seduction | 27/08/25 04:34 AM |
| 1 | How do you flirt and can you give me examples of what it sounds like?You do not need plausible deniability when you're flirting... She knows why you're there. Beating around the bush just lands you in the friendzone, or asking where you went wrong because you're getting "mixed signals". OP won't know how to capitalize on nonverbals, and I guarantee he needs to warm up to being more forward than calling a girl "cute". My suggestion is extremely direct, and I suggest it because there is no room for misinterpretation. You are not seeking to convince a woman to be in… | /r/seduction | 25/08/25 09:15 PM |
| 3 | 22M new to NYC, how should I optimize my routine to actually improve my dating life?The first thing you need to understand is that if you want to have a better dating life, you simply will need to meet more women. Luckily for you, you live in one of the most densely populated places in the country. My brother does pretty well for himself, and I do very well for myself down in Delaware, of all places, so you'll be fine. What you will have to get comfortable doing, however, is stepping outside of your comfort zone. Don't be disappointed because you're lonely and don't have your f… | /r/seduction | 25/08/25 06:36 PM |
| 2 | Cold approach vs. DaygameDaygame is simply cold approaching during the day, as opposed to night. The only real difference is how you approach the situation. Assuming you have some semblance of social awareness, you'll understand that girls you meet while walking down the street are not going to be in the same headspace as women who are dressed up, drinking at the bar with their friends. An approach during the day is usually to set something up for a later day and time, if she's interested. An approach at night, such as … | /r/seduction | 25/08/25 06:26 PM |
| 10 | How do you flirt and can you give me examples of what it sounds like?"Hey, I think you're really cute and I'd love to grab a drink with you sometime. What's your number?" Flirting boils down to basically that: establish attraction, ask on a date, get the phone number. How long it takes, what you're actually saying, what she's saying in return have endless variety - but this is the basic framework of how the conversation should go. If you are as clueless as you say, then you would probably benefit most from having some sort of "canned pickup line" so you already k… | /r/seduction | 25/08/25 06:22 PM |
| 2 | Rejected her escalations on date now she’s testing?Let her throw herself at you again then, since she's now rejecting your invites. Otherwise, move on and meet other women. | /r/seduction | 22/08/25 05:45 PM |
| 3 | Rejected her escalations on date now she’s testing?OP didn't describe his intentions. I still don't know whether he actually likes this woman and is playing games, or if it's something else. Either way, playing hard-to-get with a woman who's throwing herself at you is something that you don't need to do at that point. | /r/seduction | 22/08/25 01:14 AM |
| 3 | Best Cold Approach Openers – What Actually Works for You?Gloss over it by briefly answering, and let the conversation be about her. Listen more than you talk if you want to avoid that in the future. | /r/seduction | 22/08/25 01:13 AM |
| 2 | Calling out ghosting successfullyI get around quite a bit, and I can't remember a single time that a girl who was ghosting me had come around because I'd called her out. There's a statistic that the average person checks their phone 144 times per day. If she's not responding, or is responding several days later, then the interest isn't that high. Calling it out has led to an apology, followed by stringing me along to repeat the process, at best. And at worst, it has just led to me remaining ghosted. However, at that point, you … | /r/seduction | 21/08/25 08:54 PM |
| 12 | "If a woman has a crush on you in a workplace, chances are, other women there do too" Do you believe this?People generally want that which is desired by others. This is why you may notice you get more attention from women when you're in a relationship, as opposed to when you're single. Considering how "gossipy" office spaces tend to be, a woman voicing that she desires you to other women will likely have those other women giving you a closer look, like a domino effect. | /r/seduction | 21/08/25 08:46 PM |
| 8 | Rejected her escalations on date now she’s testing?I don't think you're asking the right question here... Why do you care if she's testing you if you rejected her advances on your date? Why are you even asking her out again if you rejected those advances? You might be misinterpreting her attention as "interest" rather than "contempt". You left this woman on read for 2 months, agreed to a date, rejected her on that date, and now, for whatever reason, you want her? This makes no sense. I don't think there's anything to be had here...she might be t… | /r/seduction | 21/08/25 08:43 PM |
| 3 | It's crazy out hereI can understand how you might feel guilty about showing the same attention to more than 1 woman at a time. Similar to what u/vorter said, it's ok to talk to more than 1 woman at a time. It's like with job interviews - you start out with a large pool of candidates, then gradually narrow the candidates down until you arrive at the best person for the job. In this case, the "job" would be becoming your girlfriend. Dating is a numbers game. Very few people settle down with the first woman they meet… | /r/seduction | 21/08/25 02:35 PM |
| 13 | It's crazy out hereIt sounds like you would benefit most from approaching dating with an "abundance mindset". The term gets thrown around a lot, but the gist of it is that you have enough options in your life that you aren't worried about one singular outcome, because then you can focus your time and attention on somebody else. This is one of those things that's really hard to "fake it till you make it", but comes with time and experience. If you talk to more women, you'll get better at talking to women. If you ge… | /r/seduction | 21/08/25 07:49 AM |
| 2 | Does not reaching sex when escalating physically make women distance themself from you?You didn't do anything wrong - not every date is going to be with someone compatible. Some others are telling you that you should slow down, but I actually give you props for having the balls to go for the kiss and try to escalate things further. She wasn't ready for that, so you stopped. Nothing wrong so far. There will be factors outside of your control that you may never know about. Maybe she's talking to another guy and doesn't want to move too fast with you for fear of ruining things with h… | /r/seduction | 21/08/25 07:43 AM |
| 194 | Best Cold Approach Openers – What Actually Works for You?Since you haven't had any good answers yet, here's what I say, as somebody who meets 90% of the women I hook up with through cold approach: "Hey, I thought you were gorgeous and had to come say hi, what's your name?" Here's why: I'm directly telling her I'm attracted to her, allowing me to read her reaction to that I'm getting her name, and she's hopefully asking for mine in return I'm using the word "gorgeous" because it's more mature than "cute", but more classy than "hot" or "sexy" This isn't… | /r/seduction | 21/08/25 05:18 AM |
| 1 | Failure after failureGood on you for getting out and approaching. Bad on you for relying on cold DMs in any capacity. Instagram is like the dating apps; it doesn't hurt to have, but don't rely on it. Getting out and talking to women in-person is the single best thing you can do to get immediate feedback. You won't get left on read, she can't compare you to her other matches, and the only decision to be made is whether or not she likes you. Do more of that until you get more comfortable talking to women and carrying … | /r/seduction | 21/08/25 05:10 AM |
| 0 | How do y'all judge while texting if the girl is intresting enough to hangout with?Very much agree with u/PM_Teeny_Titties , very much disagree with u/ThatDarnSmell . Getting a girl who you haven't spent any considerable time with on a phone call comes across as being too invested, too early. This is something that might happen if you both arrive at the date spot and need to find where the other is, RIGHT NOW. Otherwise, keep it simple with text. As to what u/PM_Teeny_Titties said, the goal with the phone is to use it to set up a date, and to respond if she texts you. That is … | /r/seduction | 19/08/25 07:35 PM |
| 1 | On first dates that seem to go well, about how often are women inviting you back to their place?I'm not saying it can't work, I just think it creates more friction than posing a simple "let's get out of here" kinda thing. | /r/seduction | 19/08/25 07:30 PM |
| 1 | Day GameTake PUA advice/books/courses with a massive grain of salt...most of them get laid a little, with average women, and sell you a lifestyle by hiring models or saying things that "sound good". Nothing is wrong with learning to "day game", which really just means "approach women you see while doing what you normally do in your day", but you should understand WHY that time would be better spent approaching women at nighttime venues. Women who go to bars and clubs, and specifically the ones who stay … | /r/seduction | 19/08/25 07:29 PM |
| 2 | On first dates that seem to go well, about how often are women inviting you back to their place?Like some of the other comments have already said, very rarely. However, if a woman is very interested and things are getting hot and heavy, she may throw you a lead to see if you pick up on it: "What are your plans for the rest of the night?" "What are you doing after this?" "Do you have work in the morning?" You may think these are innocent questions, but what she's trying to do is insinuate that you should continue your night with her. Now, I don't have my own place, so I usually have to invi… | /r/seduction | 19/08/25 07:22 PM |
| 1 | No problem approaching & getting the contact, but having difficulty getting engagement afterGlad I could help, hope that shift in mindset leads to better dates for you :) | /r/seduction | 19/08/25 06:30 PM |
| 3 | No problem approaching & getting the contact, but having difficulty getting engagement afterTake the advice of PUAs and dating coaches with a grain of salt (ironic, considering I'm giving that advice as a dating coach). A lot of the time, they'll develop theories, methods, and guidelines to make themselves out as an authority in the space to sell you something when they themselves have very minimal success, but just enough where you'd buy in. I'm struggling to understand your concern about "giving away your power" by complimenting a woman and hitting on her. Are you worried about putti… | /r/seduction | 19/08/25 06:00 PM |
| 1 | Putting the heat back into hot & cold?I wouldn't say it's based on a stereotype; it's based on life experience. An unmarried woman in her mid-30s without kids, a family, or prospective husbands almost certainly feels pressured to find somebody who can provide her with those things, assuming she is a normal, well-adjusted woman who understands how society will view her. I don't think you should assume things about people without evidence, but the fact that OP states she's hot and cold while he's only interested in a casual relationsh… | /r/seduction | 19/08/25 05:44 PM |
| 1 | No problem approaching & getting the contact, but having difficulty getting engagement afterI wouldn't suggest escalating in the daytime, just for clarification. But you need to make your interest more obvious, then let her do with it what she will. If she's interested, get her number, set up a date, and move forward. If she's not interested, it's better to find that out now so you can spend your time with other women who would appreciate you. Here is specifically how I open women I'm interested in 90% of the time: "Hey, you're gorgeous and I just had to come say hi, what's your name?"… | /r/seduction | 19/08/25 05:41 PM |
| 2 | No problem approaching & getting the contact, but having difficulty getting engagement afterYou're welcome to disagree with me, but that doesn't make you right and me wrong... He's wondering why he's not getting many dates, or why the women he does meet (like the one he references at the lounge) go on without him. It is simply because he is not making moves to establish that he's attracted. You may disagree with a direct approach, but it works very well...I use it all the time. You are not trying to play high school hard-to-get games - you are trying to uncover whether there IS or IS N… | /r/seduction | 19/08/25 05:37 PM |
| 2 | Putting the heat back into hot & cold?A woman of her age is probably expecting something more serious from a man of your age. Her biological clock is ticking, and if she wants a family and a husband, she needs to find one before her looks fade. If you are not providing that, it is likely that she is "cold" because she is entertaining, or at least looking for other options. Casual relationships usually don't have a very long shelf life, because invariably, one party will want more from the other than they're willing to give. It sound… | /r/seduction | 19/08/25 04:34 AM |
| 9 | No problem approaching & getting the contact, but having difficulty getting engagement afterWhat you're missing is escalation, in both areas. You're hitting on girls, but you're not complimenting them or telling them you find them attractive. You're making small, and being friendly, and for this reason, you're not cutting through the BS to find out whether they're interested in you. You are not "simping" or "giving away your power" by being direct in your attraction to somebody. Rather, you are finding out quickly whether this other person returns your level of interest. If they do, th… | /r/seduction | 19/08/25 04:31 AM |
| 1 | Cocky vs boastfulYou've gotten some good comments already, but I don't think any of them quite hit the nail on the head... Cocky - How you carry yourself. Assuming interest. Assuming success. Confident in your abilities because you have a track record that lends itself to you being successful again in the future. Boastful - How you describe yourself. This is something that is done to try and convince others of your abilities, often because they haven't acknowledged those abilities, or because you're trying to co… | /r/seduction | 18/08/25 09:55 PM |
| 1 | Taking a break? Or will I lose out on opportunities?It sounds like you think you need to pause progress in one area of your life in order to move forward in others. The problem with this thinking is that people often fall into the trap of requiring perfect conditions to get started on something - rather than taking action now, in imperfect conditions. I do not believe you need to stop having fun and approaching women in order to become more successful in these other areas of life. I also do not believe that you will become "rusty" in these areas,… | /r/seduction | 18/08/25 04:56 AM |
| 3 | Is there any truth to the idea that too many consecutive rejections will damage your psyche and ultimately hurt you?Glad I could help! There's a lot of fun to be had on the other side of a little pain. | /r/seduction | 15/08/25 06:43 AM |
| 5 | Is there any truth to the idea that too many consecutive rejections will damage your psyche and ultimately hurt you?Use something canned if you don't know what to say. My line was "I'm with the FBI, I'm going to need your name, number, and measurements". That usually got a laugh at the very worst, but sometimes I'd end up making with some of these girls on the beach not long after. Just make conversation until you get better at moving things in a more flirty direction. Once you shake the nerves, it's much easier for things to flow. | /r/seduction | 15/08/25 06:43 AM |
| 27 | Is there any truth to the idea that too many consecutive rejections will damage your psyche and ultimately hurt you?To answer the title question: Absolutely not. I LOVE cold approaching, it is my bread and butter. So many men are terrible at it, which is why it's so fun being so good at it. They need to be hammered at a bar, or have their wingmen go with them, or wait until the girl approaches them, etc. Your competition SUCKS at talking to women. Being good at talking to women is just so incredibly lethal when it comes to dating... That said, if you have a poor mental image of yourself or low self-confidence… | /r/seduction | 15/08/25 04:45 AM |
| 8 | "I don't want to jump into anything right now..."You've already received some pretty good advice, so I'll just build onto what it seems other are saying, notably about whether you're escalating BEFORE you go back to your place. Are you kissing on these dates? Are you making out? Are things getting hot and heavy? If so, then going back to your place is the natural next step, and most women who accept that offer will understand the meaning of that. Where you might be losing them is if you're skipping those steps, and just suggesting going back t… | /r/seduction | 15/08/25 04:35 AM |
| 4 | College Advice?Go to the Gym - If you aren't already, start going to the gym and being consistent with it. You are going to school with thousands of guys in their prime - if you want to be the guy that these women choose, it's a lot easier to do when you're in great shape. You likely have a gym on campus and a meal plan, so there's no excuse for why you shouldn't be doing this. Talk to More Women - Talk to women while you're walking to class. Talk to women in class. Talk to women at the gym. Talk to women at t… | /r/seduction | 15/08/25 04:31 AM |
| 3 | how to create situations where you can break the touch barrier?I see you've already gotten some good advice, but I want to weigh in since some of these comments lean in too much on being playful rather than flirty, and I read one comment about a guy suggesting not even going for the kiss on a first date, which I strongly disagree with. The easiest way to break the touch barrier is not to force it. You'll have moments that will naturally bridge that gap for you, such as when first meeting her out on the date, when you would say hi and hug her before moving a… | /r/seduction | 02/07/25 06:54 AM |
| 5 | Chatted in line, it escalated, but how to close?I think you're overanalyzing the spoon-feeding by considering that "escalation". Whether it was polite or genuinely flirty, it is neither a green light nor a red light. It is just something that happened. Not that it matters, because you missed your opportunity to make a move, then justified it by saying your friend wouldn't approve. Regardless, the goal would've been to get in, then get out, rather than trying to carry the interaction all the way through the night, past the concert, and beyond.… | /r/seduction | 02/07/25 06:21 AM |
| 6 | How do you guys make sure you dont build too much connection before seducing?Unfortunately, it's kind of inevitable. Ultimately, a casual sexual relationship will leave at least 1 party desiring more at a certain point. Whether that's because they want exclusivity and no longer desire to share you, or because they feel stifled/guilty and unable to meet somebody who CAN offer them that exclusivity. Recently, there was a girl I had a FWB situation with that was on-and-off for something like 2 years. At one point, she had a boyfriend, so we stopped, but once that ended, we … | /r/seduction | 02/07/25 05:50 AM |
| 2 | How bad am I at reading signsI mean, what do you want advice on? It sounds like you already know what you did wrong. I think the best piece of advice that would apply here for you, and in the future, is to watch what people do more than you listen to what they say. If I'm with a girl, and we're making out, she might say "we're not having sex". Then she might grab my dick, and say again "we're not having sex". Then she might get completely naked and take my clothes off and still say "we're not having sex". Then she might giv… | /r/seduction | 02/07/25 05:43 AM |
| 13 | Processing the difficult reality of women coming and going out of my lifeI think the problem you're facing is a fundamental misunderstanding of what the other person wants. Just because YOU want to continue a relationship with these women doesn't mean they do. Maybe she just broke up with her boyfriend/found out he cheated on her, and wants a rebound lay. Maybe she wants an ongoing FWB situation, but fears you're becoming too attached or possessive. Maybe you're not so great in bed, and they grow tired of the sex after some time. I'm in the same boat as you; if I am … | /r/seduction | 02/07/25 05:28 AM |
| 1 | I want to learn how to talk to womenIf getting rejected by a few women is enough to ruin your day and prevent you from being happy, then that's your decision. You are entitled to nothing. You deserve nothing. For somebody to choose you, you have to become somebody worth choosing. | /r/seduction | 08/06/25 07:08 PM |
| 10 | Learned a Valuable Lesson TodayLike u/StrikingImportance39 said, you didn't "learn a lesson", in fact, it looks like you completely missed an opportunity here. You're putting too much emphasis on what this woman SAYS, rather than what she DOES. A woman you met just yesterday was willing to come over to your place, was the one who bought and provided the food, and was touchy feely, giving you a massage...she's not stupid... Her saying she has to go home actually meant "make a move". Unfortunately, you didn't really do that, yo… | /r/seduction | 06/06/25 09:09 PM |
| 2 | How to win against physically attractive guysHaving the confidence to talk to an attractive girl will beat out 99% of guys. I get laid a lot, but I was not the most attractive guy in my friend group. I had one friend who was in good shape, had tattoos, was 6'3", and earned good money at his job. I had another guy in this same friend group who was 6'5", in similarly great shape, and was extremely likable. However, I was the one who had the most success with women because, unlike them, I was willing to approach women I liked. The first frien… | /r/seduction | 06/06/25 09:00 PM |
| 6 | I want to learn how to talk to womenWant to learn how to talk to women? Talk to them. Get rejected a bunch. Slowly learn what you did wrong each time. Become immune to rejection. Congratulations, you can now have a conversation with a girl without getting nervous, while being able to read social cues and knowing when to flirt and escalate. That's seriously all there is to it, success just lies on the other side of a little bit of pain. | /r/seduction | 06/06/25 08:56 PM |
| 6 | Really pushed myself out of my shell yesterdayI'll break this down for you. First, ask for the phone number, not Instagram. I cannot tell you how many girls have complimented me for having the balls to ask for their phone number rather than their Instagram or Snapchat. Why? Because asking for social media is "safer" and requires less commitment. Now you're a follower - somebody who will fuel her ego and provide her attention in the form of likes and story views, rather than somebody who can text or call her. Second, her willingness to messa… | /r/seduction | 06/06/25 08:54 PM |
| 2 | Does anyone have (link to) good video on flirting in social events like clubs, concerts etc.? Post detailsYou'll have a very hard time finding something like. Guys are not posted up in the bar recording their friends while the guy is mic'd up, getting "genuine" reactions from the women he approaches. Most of the women I've slept with were from cold approaches at the bar, so I'll tell you what works: Ahem... "Hey, I thought you were really gorgeous and just had to come say hi, what's your name?" From there, you improvise based on how she responds. If you're wondering how to improvise, there's really … | /r/seduction | 06/06/25 08:50 PM |
| 1 | “If she likes you she’ll make it easy” isnt always true is it?Women who are interested in you probably won't approach you because they're just as afraid of rejection as men are, even more so. If a girl puts herself out there and gets denied, it really destroys their ego. By "making it easy", they're referring to everything that happens after you make your introduction; they WANT to give you their phone number, they text back quickly, they agree to whatever your date ideas are, they don't reject your kiss, they look forward to going to bed with you. Here's … | /r/seduction | 06/06/25 08:44 PM |
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