TheRedArchive

~ archived since 2018 ~

BudFox_LA Archive

View 0 posts and 82 comments by BudFox_LA on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
Search in:
In subreddits:
More
Filter by year/month:
Upvotes Title Category Author Subreddit Date (UTC)
Upvotes Comment on Subreddit Date (UTC)
1

Truly
/r/Divorce_Men26/08/24 03:32 AM
1

9 years. just under the 10 year mark where she could have asked for life long spousal support. She tried regardless, shit person that she is, but failed.
/r/Divorce_Men26/08/24 02:53 AM
3

The sex taking a noticeable nose dive and my desire to keep our once vibrant sex life alive being labeled as deviant and “objectifying” was definitely the sign that the smell of death was upon the marriage.
/r/Divorce_Men26/03/24 08:42 AM
2

She’ll play all kinds of head games throughout, but yes
/r/Divorce_Men18/03/24 03:26 PM
13

That’s because by the time a woman decides she wants a divorce, she has been wanting it for like a year at least. She is so far beyond this already, and you are just getting started. Welcome to the game, it’s a blast.
/r/Divorce_Men18/03/24 02:35 PM
1

That sounds awful but yeah
/r/Divorce_Men16/03/24 10:04 PM
3

Main thing I’m addressing in prenup is that all investment accounts I bring in to the marriage including all contributions and capital gains during course of the marriage cannot will not be considered community property in the event of a split. Also capping alimony at 1 year regardless pd length of marriage. Finally, debt incurred individually during or before marriage are not responsibility of other party. Pretty boiler plate
/r/Divorce_Men16/03/24 04:49 AM
1

Then he didnt have the right prenup or it didn’t address spousal support
/r/Divorce_Men16/03/24 04:47 AM
1

prenups. they exist.
/r/Divorce_Men16/03/24 02:02 AM
3

I'm pretty familiar with CA alimony, child support and property division laws from this motherfucker of a divorce I went through and honestly, it's not about benefits for a man or woman, it's that marriage ultimately benefits the higher earner unless there is a solid prenup in place. I know men who get alimony as well, it's just far less common as the income disparity between man and women typically grows with children, the mother typically works less after that or not at all while the man excel…
/r/Divorce_Men16/03/24 02:02 AM
6

I am proposing to my current gf of 4+ years in less than a month, so yes, I would marry again, though if you asked me even a few years ago, I'd say no. I learned a lot from my first marriage and had a long list of red flags to look out for and this girl is pretty phenomenal. And she is willing to sign a prenup so I don't really see a problem with it. No prenup though, no marriage. So we'll see how all this goes...
/r/Divorce_Men16/03/24 01:56 AM
2

this, definitely. dude's family and wife sound like a giant drag.
/r/Divorce_Men09/03/24 02:13 AM
3

this is an epic post. epic. you're like, a nihilist. I'm going to recommend a movie to you, that I think if watched more than once and even studied, will have an impact on your life. It deals on some level with similar themes. Early Jack Nicolson film - Five Easy Pieces. Thank me later.
/r/Divorce_Men09/03/24 02:12 AM
2

it's like my lawyer told me "you either pay me now or pay her forever"... It worked out in my favor as well but it was grueling.
/r/Divorce_Men08/03/24 01:51 AM
2

qualified domestic relations order
/r/Divorce_Men08/03/24 01:50 AM
1

this is true. All told, mine took 4 years.
/r/Divorce_Men08/03/24 01:50 AM
18

Sex taking a big, noticeable nose dive. Condescending, talking down, demeaning, obvious emasculating, the partner (usually the wife) being deep into self-help, therapy, and seminars and is coming home and armchair diagnosing you. Basically when she starts treating you like every archetypal 'hip mom/hip wife' character on every commercial in the past 5-10 years, like you're the hopelessly incompetent, clueless sperm donating husband that walks 3 steps behind her. Run for the fuckin hills.
/r/Divorce_Men06/03/24 10:02 PM
3

Haven’t heard that. Very specific and exact procedure needs to be followed with a prenup and varies per state, in order to be seen as valid by a court if challenged later on. A good lawyer can make this happen. Both parties need to fully disclose all assets and debts pre marriage (discovery), and the agreement can’t be obviously one-sided i.e. she having no claim to any assets you bring into the marriage (or growth of said assets) is reasonable, but you both not having equal share of what is joi…
/r/Divorce_Men11/02/24 06:28 PM
11

Dude, OP I 100% feel you and my divorce was brutal but it was brutal because we didn’t have a prenup. Guys with $ get remarried all the time - with a prenup. Prenup can negate any potential for alimony, waives any community property rights outside of an instance where you each say, buy a house. But meaning, if you’re sitting on a $500k 401k and while you are married (again) it grows to $1.5mil, she’s entitled to none of that. But many women won’t go into a marriage with a prenup and that is simp…
/r/Divorce_Men11/02/24 05:56 PM
1

You can outline virtually any term in a prenup.
/r/Divorce_Men11/02/24 01:54 AM
5

Drove me fucking bananas each year I filed while I was still paying it. Thanks orange mound. Fucker
/r/Divorce_Men11/02/24 01:53 AM
6

Sorry but I did laugh. Apologize? silly goose
/r/Divorce_Men10/02/24 10:16 PM
11

Yes, yes to all of this. She was going individually and was coming back after each session, armchair psychoanalyzing me and telling me what her therapist thought of me (despite having never met me). Then came the couples counseling. I was dead before we even started. Kiss of death, couples counseling. If you’ve gotten to that point, the smell of death has been on the relationship for a long time.
/r/Divorce_Men07/02/24 08:09 AM
3

This, good ones are worth their weight in gold. My ex tried to get indefinite alimony because we ‘might as well have been married 10 years’ (it was 9.5). I’d fight hard on this OP
/r/Divorce_Men05/02/24 09:48 PM
12

Sounds familiar. There is a huge industry now in the form of couples counseling, podcasts, audiobooks and youtube self help ‘gurus’ that can help your wife “recognize the narcissist she lives with”, etc etc and they’re essentially sold the idea that once they’re rid of you, they’ll be with their other divorced mid 30’s to early 40-something friends, all skipping joyously down some green grass covered hill, like in a fucking Valtrex commercial, clutching their glasses of chardonnay. When reality …
/r/Divorce_Men27/01/24 06:48 AM
2

You can use her 401k as a bargaining chip for you to not pay alimony i.e. you agree to take less in exchange for not paying alimony. Although this may not be advisable when taking into account potential future value of said 401k funds. Divorce is expensive and the lawyers only win. You may have to pay a little CP even w 50/50 if you’re the higher earner. That’s usually non negotiable and state and county court mandated. Good luck
/r/Divorce_Men06/01/24 03:16 AM
3

So spot on here, just wow.
/r/Divorce_Men29/12/23 05:28 PM
1

What sort of rule is that? Marriage is a business arrangement, dealing with community property/personal property rights, tax filing status etc. Have a lot of sex with someone pre-marriage because without sexual compatibility, the marriage will never survive; and you’ll be reminded just how businesslike marriage truly is.
/r/Divorce_Men28/12/23 06:47 AM
3

Was in similar situation, towards the end there. It is evident to me now that we wasted about a year and a half on couples counseling when I think she had a pretty clear plan to leave before we even started that song and dance. The whole thing was very expensive, but whatever, it was worth it. Miserable situation. I am better off, the kids are definitely better off, and somehow I’m still doing all right financially, despite the hit I took.
/r/Divorce_Men24/12/23 08:45 PM
2

Yeah youre basically shooting your own plane down but yeah, unhappy marriages are a bummer so theres that. Classic no-win situashe
/r/Divorce_Men24/12/23 08:37 PM
8

I was the higher earner, she pulled the trigger. I paid 4.5yrs spousal and continue to pay CP despite joint custody. It’s awful. No 2 ways about it.
/r/Divorce_Men24/12/23 06:43 PM
0

Weekly therapy, xanax, booze and pounding it out on Tinder. Reading the forums helped too, because the one thing I never dealt with were any issues with custody. We were 50-50 right down the middle, and although it was hard to not see my kids every day at first there was no drama with the kids or custody. So I would read the forums with all these stories about these terrible witches trying to take a guy’s kids away, and that would make me feel better. Stay strong, it gets better. At some point t…
/r/Divorce_Men22/12/23 11:59 PM
3

In CA it’s a simple calculator. Despite joint custody, 50/50 right down the middle, I pay her $1024 p month because I earn significantly more than her and she can’t get her shit together. I try to rationalize it’s for the kids and mostly it is. We live in socal and having kids here costs a fortune. Oh well
/r/Divorce_Men16/12/23 05:49 PM
1

Fuck the pain away bud
/r/Divorce_Men16/12/23 01:58 AM
3

Um, ok.
/r/Divorce_Men12/12/23 09:14 AM
7

Hasn’t yet, and no plans to marry so whatever
/r/Divorce_Men12/12/23 08:24 AM
13

I’m making considerably more money than I was when we separated, now around $150k and she is struggling (1099/small biz). 50-50, joint custody, finished paying spousal support about six months ago, which was one of the best days ever. Still paying child support we didn’t have a house, we were renting a nice house that she is still in. The divorce cost me around 30 grand in legal fees, but she didn’t touch much of my 401(k) because I agreed to not pursue interest in her business. My Roth IRA and …
/r/Divorce_Men12/12/23 06:53 AM
3

It started off as amicable and stayed that way for 4 yrs. Then when i got promoted and her alimony was up and she panicked, she lawyered up, attempted to say our original agreement and judgement was flawed and tried to extend spousal support. She lost, but keeping things intact cost me $30k in legal fees. And the only way you’re divorce will be ‘low cost’ even if amicable is if your wife makes the same or more $ than you. Otherwise it’ll cost somewhere
/r/Divorce_Men08/12/23 04:40 PM
2

Can you afford to hire help? I have a housekeeper once evert few weeks. Worth its weight in gold. Would do once a week if I could swing it. Also I did therapy once a week for a few years post separation and it helped a lot.
/r/Divorce_Men06/12/23 05:33 PM
2

That's close. We live a mile apart and it's very convenient but we're not in the same neighborhood. I would go that route. Definitely stay close if possible because it makes it infinitely easier for the oh by the ways or if things are forgotten at each house. We live a mile apart and a mile from the kids' school. I couldn't imagine any other way. Mind sort of blown you are both just casually buying houses without even being divorced yet. Must be loaded or live in a cheap market or something. Jus…
/r/Divorce_Men05/12/23 07:47 PM
1

so many things it's hard to count
/r/Divorce_Men05/12/23 04:25 AM
1

knowing everything I know now, no, you should not get married. simple as that. sorry
/r/Divorce_Men03/12/23 08:58 PM
2

nah, the stickers are the old scratch and sniff kind.. I don't know the background of this guy but will throw in my 2 cents on this sub as a contribute somewhat regularly. I too have been fairly lucky. We are JUST NOW finalizing the actual divorce though, as it was a legal separation for the first 4 years (won't even go there rn) and financially/emotionally it has been shit. I'm convinced lawyer's on either side are satan's minions. I got a great lawyer and it wasn't cheap, but it was necessary …
/r/Divorce_Men03/12/23 08:51 PM
5

Tinder, Bumble, etc. Started about 6 mos post separation, went on a real tear.
/r/Divorce_Men03/12/23 04:39 AM
1

There you go
/r/Divorce_Men29/11/23 01:48 AM
1

She’s lived w me for almost 3 years. Relationship has honestly gotten better w/age, so has the sex oddly
/r/Divorce_Men27/11/23 05:54 PM
8

Typical. For about a year after I moved out, a few times a week, I would get messages about crap that was left behind. A few times I went over there, got it out of the garage and then threw it away in her trash bins as a nice fuck you.
/r/Divorce_Men27/11/23 02:44 AM
9

I left most of it at the house when I moved out. All I took of mine were mementos and a few odds and ends, a TV etc. I dropped about $20k to furnish and set up my new house. Have 2 young girls and needed to buy full bedroom set for them, bedroom set for me, sectional, dining room table and chairs, appliances, the whole 9. felt incredible though. have very little around from my married life. no nick knacks or chachkis or any of that, spare a few random things. It wasn't even a discussion. I was l…
/r/Divorce_Men27/11/23 02:37 AM
1

Yeah it seemed like the thing to do at the time
/r/Divorce_Men26/11/23 11:02 PM
1

im not sure I ever thought I was in a good marriage. horrible right?
/r/Divorce_Men26/11/23 10:25 PM
2

I hear you but the best thing about my current relationship is that it has strongpoints that my last one lacked. We work better as a team than my ex, we communicate more effectively, she is caring, nurturing and empathetic while my ex was not (unless you were a cat or her child under the age of 3...) , the sex is better, we're more compatible that way... its all better, so no I don't think I'm dating my ex and I've known some of her exes and I'm def not them.
/r/Divorce_Men26/11/23 10:11 PM
1

Yeah. All of that sort of thing.
/r/Divorce_Men24/11/23 12:02 AM
1

5’7”, 153lbs.
/r/Divorce_Men23/11/23 07:18 AM
1

We were coworkers and friends but I am a concert producer and am generally around a lot of younger people. ‘Cool’ job I guess. So prob would have been someone similar demographic if not her. I was doing the dating apps for a while and pulling alright but it was pretty soul crushing and time consuming. This girl and I started dating casually right before Covid, and then Covid sort of accelerated it. Really saved my ass during Covid, though, because the relationship was new, and at the time she wa…
/r/Divorce_Men23/11/23 06:44 AM
2

2.5 yrs holy shit. She couldn’t have been that great if she left you dude. Her loss. I’m 46 divorced, 2 kids joint custody, 29 yr old beautiful gf going on 4 yrs, job promotion, never been better. Divorce was hardest and then best and most expensive thing that ever happened to me. Get out there and live.
/r/Divorce_Men22/11/23 05:54 PM
2

The easy answer is go for fitted timeless looks. Jeans that aren’t baggy (but not skinny), fitted tees, button down (that don’t make you look like you untucked them from your dockers at your office job..). Grays, blacks, rust, maroon, etc. Vans maybe, converse so you have a pop of youth sometimes. Buy quality material for tees, check out Vuori brand. Levis always work for jeans if fitted correctlg and the wash isn’t cheesy. Pullovers work well sometimes. Lacoste black or gray pullover, but balan…
/r/Divorce_Men19/11/23 10:08 PM
1

What kind of body type do you have and are you in shape? This is important to the answer
/r/Divorce_Men19/11/23 07:08 PM
3

Paid alimony for 4.5 years, still pay CP even though joint custody, she got small portion of my 401k via qdro, legal fees to the tune of $30k and yes, glad I got divorced. I was miserable, so was she, it would have been horrible for the kids if we’d stayed together (they were 1 and 5). I got a shot at a whole new life and a more authentic version of myself. New gf, she’s great (and 29), the kids are well adjusted, doing well w 50/50 and I can parent without her policing me, looking over my shoul…
/r/Divorce_Men19/11/23 06:20 PM
1

Yeah, your kid will be fine. Get outta that scene man, sounds horrific.
/r/Divorce_Men19/11/23 06:11 AM
1

Weird. I definitely didn’t run into that
/r/Divorce_Men17/11/23 05:02 PM
2

I find this really puzzling. How do two people get married and want to split up six months later? Six months is literally nothing. You had no indication of pending problems 6 months ago?
/r/Divorce_Men17/11/23 07:26 AM
6

Amen to this. Very fulfilling, we have our time, our things we do, etc. My ex wife has been a vegetarian for decades and was a real nazi about it so that was a total drag. She helicopters, and she is generally joyless and not fun. I used to be weird and clown around and be funny with my oldest and she would love it and my ex would act all put out, like I should 'grow up' or something. This is way better
/r/Divorce_Men14/11/23 10:16 PM
5

I try not to dwell in 'if I could do it all over again', but I feel more fulfilled now than I did when I was married. Getting married without a prenup was prob the biggest financial blunder of my entire life. I feel that my relationship with my kids in this joint/shared custody situation has made us closer than we ever would have been, stronger as a team and I have really stepped up as a father in ways that I never thought possible. I do have a serious gf of 3+ years now that lives with us and t…
/r/Divorce_Men14/11/23 09:46 PM
1

You need to get out, now. Sexual problems and dysfunction in a relationship are the death knell. And any chick that admonishes a man for enjoying a little porn needs to gooooo. My gf and I enjoy it together sometimes, she watches it sometimes and I occasionally do too. You don’t need to be with some quaker, dude. Hit the road jack
/r/Divorce_Men05/11/23 04:18 PM
19

Did a broke woman tell you that? There are tax breaks, but they are marginal compared to the insane financial risk associated with getting married. Beginning w the hole in the ground you throw money into called the engagement ring, wedding, the dress, etc.. Divorce is financial brutality. Over 50% of marriages end in divorce and 80% of 2nd marriages. The best way to ‘preserve wealth’ is to (a) not get married or (b) get a good prenup. But yes 2 incomes are often better than one so obv 2 spouses …
/r/Divorce_Men05/11/23 03:37 AM
1

20yrs? Damn, what state? In CA you’d be on the hook for indefinite alimony. We were married nine years, and I paid our money for 4 1/2. That last payment was an amazing feeling.
/r/Divorce_Men05/11/23 01:25 AM
5

What makes you think you’ll be single forever? Lot of fish in the sea
/r/Divorce_Men31/10/23 11:47 PM
4

Start seeing other women, that’s how + time
/r/Divorce_Men31/10/23 02:51 PM
0

Aside from how expensive it was, and the adjustment period post-move out and learning the single father ropes, it was basically the best thing that ever happened to me. Relationship was on life-support, what was once a great sex life turned into a dead bedroom, but we were keeping it going “for the kids” (who were both young at the time). I was miserable, she was miserable, she pulled the plug and in hindsight, did me a huge favor. I became a better, far more focused father, I got in better shap…
/r/Divorce_Men28/10/23 01:55 AM
4

Yeah, once was enough for me
/r/Divorce_Men27/10/23 11:39 PM
8

This is correct. If you have a legitimate prenuptual agreement, executed by a seasoned divorce attorney who leaves no stone left unturned, and you find a woman who is willing to sign away most of the financial benefit she would get out of being married and eventually divorced, then yes… for sure. Unfortunately, most men don’t do that.
/r/Divorce_Men27/10/23 08:46 PM
2

The weirdest part you’ll get to is when looking back on being with her is almost an abstraction, like something that you’re not sure ever happened or not. You’ll get to a place where you can’t really remember the details of having sex with her. Even though you’ve done it 2 million times. You’ll get to a point where you aren’t jealous about anyone else she’s seeing, and couldn’t care less. all of this stuff will come in time. What you will be left with is mostly bitterness over how much this whol…
/r/Divorce_Men25/10/23 02:17 AM
1

Ive seen this and its phenomenal. Everyone should watch it
/r/Divorce_Men23/10/23 09:55 PM
1

I don’t know what the laws are in Canada, but in the US, you’d definitely be on the hook for alimony
/r/Divorce_Men23/10/23 02:34 PM
3

We went to a handful of MFC’s and it was an absolute, utter waste of time and I really tried and opened myself up to the idea of doing the work. What I learned is that when the relationship has hit the point that that is required or called for, it’s a sign it’s time to go. You don’t engage in activities, have sex, or touch each other for a reason, man. This thing is not working. Acceptance is the hardest part, but you only have one life to live and you shouldn’t live it like this.
/r/Divorce_Men23/10/23 12:04 PM
1

How much does future ex wife make? That sir will dramatically affect the outcome here
/r/Divorce_Men23/10/23 11:57 AM
2

The best is when their friends start getting divorced. Then comes the nights out w/the divorcing/divorced women. Promise of greener grass. Somewhere during one of these Chardonnay fueled hangs, the seed is planted that they TOO can be free of their toxic, abusive, narcissistic bumbling, annoying, doesn’t know how to load dishwasher husbands (i.e. guy I used to love that I don’t like anymore, who is the same guy I married but now I don’t like that guy anymore) and the rest is history.
/r/Divorce_Men21/10/23 06:54 AM
2

Personal opinion is that couples counseling can’t fix fundamental, foundational relationship problems. It also won’t make someone who is basically just over it or out of love with you, change their feelings about you. Resentment spreads like a cancer. I’d go so far as to say it’s a monumental waste of time, couples counseling. Anyone know the statistic on whether or not women initiate couples counseling more than men? Shot in the dark here but the typical story in countless threads like this is …
/r/Divorce_Men21/10/23 06:48 AM
2

Holy shit you’re literally describing the last 2 yrs of my marriage. My ex went completely off the deep end w that crap and became a total armchair psychologist. She was paying for ‘seminars’ by some youtube ‘narcissism’ guru. “Gaslighting” and “narcissism” and “toxic” relationships are the tri-fecta these days. It’s a great way for them to blow off any semblance of personal accountability in the relationship. Everything you describe, spot on. All the couples counseling and she even found this w…
/r/Divorce_Men17/10/23 03:28 PM
2

Jesus man I’m sorry
/r/Divorce_Men16/10/23 06:20 PM
1

That sucks. Seems like, regardless of her choice not to work that legally it isn’t your responsibility to fully subsidize that
/r/Divorce_Men16/10/23 06:18 PM
3

Did you get a good lawyer? $100k for unfavorable outcome is no bueño. What state? There are calculators that prevent this from happening in terms of paying out too high a % of your pay to support. Did she makes drastically less $ than you? 50/50 custody isnt hard to pull of in Ca. Sorry this is happening, it’s terrible. My divorce cost $30k and I’m barely done and thats not counting the 4.5yrs of alimony i paid and the CP i still pay even w joint custody.
/r/Divorce_Men16/10/23 06:06 PM
You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

© TheRedArchive 2026. All rights reserved.
created by /u/dream-hunter