~ archived since 2018 ~
~ archived since 2018 ~
| Upvotes | Title | Category | Author | Subreddit | Date (UTC) |
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| Upvotes | Comment on | Subreddit | Date (UTC) |
|---|---|---|---|
| – | Family ProblemsI think you rightfully and respectfully made your opinion known to him. But he has made it very clear where he stands. You can’t change him. And I doubt there is anything you could say to him that will make him change his mind. It will come across as nagging and will only make him more determined to choose his brother. It is up to you to decide how you want to continue. Can you accept this? Or is it a dealbreaker? | /r/RedPillWomen | 14/11/24 12:29 PM |
| 6 | HOH away for a week need your help to resetHave you read the Empowered Wife by Laura Doyle? If not, I think it might be very helpful. Especially her focus on self care. You have a lot going on and it is nice you seem to have most things under control. But to be able to be soft of character, you have to recharge and relax. Do you have regular me time? | /r/RedPillWomen | 05/11/24 09:51 AM |
| 5 | Looking for Big Sister/Motherly advice and guidance…What does he bring to the table that gives him the right to demand so much from you? Genuine question. Because if you do all the cleaning, cooking, etc and also provide the primary income, I am having a hard time seeing what value he brings. Or why you have to be so subservient to his demands and feelings. | /r/RedPillWomen | 29/08/24 03:27 PM |
| 25 | I feel like my boyfriend isn't gentil enough, is it me sabotaging a good relationship or is it valid?So I think it is fine if he doesn’t like your more girly interests, so expecting to watch a really girly show with you for example is a bit unreasonable. That being said, in a good relationship both parties should be able to tell each other about their interests without a fear of shame or having the other person be absolutely bored out of their minds. I understand that would make you feel like you can’t be your full self. For a long term relationship I would personally want to be able to be myse… | /r/RedPillWomen | 21/08/24 09:05 AM |
| 14 | totally different timelines on marriage and it's only bothering me now, how can I proceed?First, he is 27. He should be able to tell his family who he is dating. If they give him a hard time about it he should be able to hold his own and establish some boundaries. Most men are capable of doing that and even excited to do that for the woman they love. Second, you are still in the vetting stages of a relationship. If you are incompatible, now is a good time to figure that out. Don’t be so emotionally invested, especially since I feel like he isn’t either. If he doesn’t like you not bei… | /r/RedPillWomen | 03/07/24 12:47 PM |
| 13 | totally different timelines on marriage and it's only bothering me now, how can I proceed?You know you can only move forward if you tell him. There is no other way. It is then up to him to compromise and change his timeline or put his foot down. Then it is your turn to decide what you do with that information. If you can not accept his timeline it is in everyone’s best interest to move on. But besides the incompatibility issue, the fact you have been together for almost a year and his family does not know about you is a big red flag. It might mean he only sees you as a placeholder wh… | /r/RedPillWomen | 03/07/24 10:41 AM |
| 16 | how to comfort my man when he failed an important exam? there's a fine line between giving him space and seeming indifferent, what should I do?What is the time span between him telling you he needed space and him not responding to your last message? Because if it is a short time span. This is just him taking some space. Follow up tomorrow with something casual like: “How are you doing today? I hope you feel a bit better than yesterday” | /r/RedPillWomen | 14/06/24 02:47 PM |
| 14 | Suddenly single at 31. How do I move forward knowing I likely won't get the partner or family I wanted?In the end the way forward for you is to realize that despair and shame won’t help. It will not change the past or the present. You did what you did, and you are were you are right now. The future is still in play. Will there be men who think you may be too old? Possibly. Will you have lesser options than five years ago? Probably. But despairing about that won’t get you closer to your goals of marriage and a family. Keeping your head up. Learning from your mistakes. Vetting properly. Being aware… | /r/RedPillWomen | 08/06/24 10:42 PM |
| 7 | Is your man your biggest emotional support?Can you identify him trying to be of emotional support in ways that maybe are more subtle or aren’t really what you need in the moment but the intention might be right? For example he may not comfort you with words, but is he more considerate of other things when he knows you feel down? Or are his “it is what it is” remarks not about dismissing the problem but maybe an effort to help you by trying to make you feel like it is not a big deal. That might put things in a different perspective. That … | /r/RedPillWomen | 04/06/24 07:42 AM |
| 22 | Is your man your biggest emotional support?My man is my biggest emotional support and I am his. It is not about him regulating or leading my emotions. It’s two people who love each other and want to help the other person feel better. So in that sense, yes I think you are overthinking things. That being said, I think it is important for you to realize that not everyone shows emotional support in the same way. And not everyone recognizes the same actions as emotional support. What do you do as emotional support for him? Reading your post I… | /r/RedPillWomen | 04/06/24 06:55 AM |
| 86 | How much money would it take for you to sell yourselfIt’s a trap. You were doomed the moment he asked. Whatever amount of money you would have said he would have been offended. It’s a very very strong reaction to this type of “fun” and most importantly hypothetical question. Red flag for me. | /r/RedPillWomen | 15/05/24 07:07 AM |
| 3 | Body count anxietyWhen you feel ready for it, you might want to read The Surrendered Single by Laura Doyle. To be fair I have not read it, because I came to this sub when I was already in a LTR, but I did hear some useful things about it here. For example often if we are insecure we date someone and want him to like us, losing out of sight that the main objective for us should be if WE like HIM. It gives you a better perspective and more control when dating. I could have definitely used that advice when I was sti… | /r/RedPillWomen | 14/05/24 12:07 PM |
| 2 | Body count anxietySounds to me like you are well on your way to turn things around! If you haven’t already you might want to check out the guide on nun mode here on the sub. It is pretty similar to what you are doing already, but perhaps it can give you some more guidance on your journey. Good luck! | /r/RedPillWomen | 14/05/24 11:12 AM |
| 24 | Body count anxietyI’m not in a similar position, but as for advice there is no reason for you to be so hard on yourself and consume media telling you you are worthless because of your past. You can’t undo it, you can only do better. Doing better starts with being aware why you went down this road and realizing that it does not give you anything worthwhile in return. Which it seems you understand, so that is start! Now, keep to your commitment of not sleeping around and better yourself. The thing I can not stress … | /r/RedPillWomen | 14/05/24 09:16 AM |
| 1 | “I love you”I suppose you could wait for coming September to see if he holds his word. If he does not propose and gives (unreasonable) excuses, you might want to seriously consider where the relationship is going, keeping your age in mind. Although you should also figure out if you can/ want to be married to a man that does not tell you he loves you. That is a personal choice. He tells you who he is, the question is if you can accept it. | /r/RedPillWomen | 08/05/24 05:56 PM |
| 9 | “I love you”To me it comes across as a bit emotionally immature to not be able to tell your girlfriend or understand the importance of telling her that you love her, especially given his age. After four years I would expect more concrete plans about the future to have been made. Has he given a time indication about when he thinks he will be financially ready? From what you write here, he does make an effort to see you, take you to people and places that are important to him. Which is good but also nothing l… | /r/RedPillWomen | 08/05/24 02:43 PM |
| 22 | “I love you”At first I thought it said 4 months together, and I was like well that is quite early days, no worry… But 4 YEARS? And he has never said it, without you forcing it out of him? I agree with the other commenter that your ages and some more context about where you see this relationship going could be important. But to me this is a red flag. And I would be concerned about being a placeholder. Do his actions show his love for you? | /r/RedPillWomen | 08/05/24 01:53 PM |
| 11 | He's constantly late and cancelsThen I believe it is the latter scenario. He is into you, but this is just a part of him. Trying to change him will only result in resentment for both of you. It is up to you if you can accept this part of him. If you cannot accept this it would be unfair to continue a relationship with him, in my opinion. You will not feel fully appreciated and he will feel criticized every time the issue arises. As food for thought, just because he is making plans for your future does not mean he intends to fo… | /r/RedPillWomen | 23/04/24 07:15 PM |
| 15 | He's constantly late and cancelsYou can’t make him want to spend more time with you. This is a clear case of if he wanted to he would. Living so close together and not finding time to see each other for a month is not a good sign. The leaving early neither. In the worst case scenario he is just stringing you along. In the best case scenario he is into you but this is just who he is. And quite possibly will always be. The question is can you live with that. Has he always been this way with dates? Or has this developed later on? | /r/RedPillWomen | 23/04/24 06:35 PM |
| 8 | How can a man introduce a woman to RPW?I would start with recommending the empowered wife or the surrendered single, depending on the circumstances. It is more mainstream and does not come with the added baggage of the TRP reputation. The content of the books can go hand in hand with RPW and can be used as an introduction. If a woman reads the books and tells you she related to the message you could mention this sub, she will probably be more interested and less offended by the name or you because she liked the previous recommendatio… | /r/RedPillWomen | 01/04/24 06:37 PM |
| 11 | Am I going crazy?What are you looking for precisely? Because your previous post here already received a lot of good responses about how this man might not be worthy of being a leader and demands too much for what he gives in return. In this post you provide many more examples on how dysfunctional the relationship was/is. | /r/RedPillWomen | 31/03/24 02:32 PM |
| 12 | I miss my cheating exNot every man wants to cheat, especially a man that loves you. And even if a man is tempted to do so, he could still have restraint and choose not do it if he is in a committed relationship with a woman he loves. Your ex couldn’t do that, and that says enough in my opinion. | /r/RedPillWomen | 18/03/24 08:55 AM |
| 13 | I miss my cheating exHe is an ex for a reason, a very good reason in your case. You are in a grieving process about the guy and the life you thought you were going to have, but once you get through this you will see that there are better men. Loyal men. Nothing about this guy was HV, he cheated and he called you names. Rationally I think you know you shouldn’t go back. | /r/RedPillWomen | 18/03/24 08:48 AM |
| 14 | laura doyle sets you upDefinitely agree with you about the attention for vetting. Besides that I also believe there is a big misunderstanding between being submissive and being a doormat among some. Just because this sub does not want “leave him” to be the first advice given (which is fair since we are just strangers getting a snapshot of a relationship) or Laura Doyle or whoever says all relationships can be saved, does not mean you just have to take shit repeatedly. Especially from just a boyfriend. That is not RP o… | /r/RedPillWomen | 12/03/24 01:37 PM |
| 40 | laura doyle sets you upBeing submissive is different than being a doormat. Having respect for a man is different than ignoring red flags. You are hurting and you want to blame something, which I understand. But RPW philosophy didn’t do this to you, because you didn’t follow it. You ignored many red flags and took your ex back after some serious problems were already clear. You vetted I’m sure but that is not where you stop being sensible and just start blindly trusting a guy who has shown multiple times that he is in … | /r/RedPillWomen | 12/03/24 07:50 AM |
| 99 | If men can pump and dump, can't I just do the reverse and use them for dates and provision, etc without giving my body?Becoming what you despise never sounded like a power move to me. Nor does closing of your heart and playing with the hearts of others, however evil you may view them to be. In the end you have to live a life you enjoy. If you feel like this is the way to go, you are free to do so. | /r/RedPillWomen | 03/03/24 12:38 PM |
| 18 | My husband can't follow instructionsHave you read The Empowered Wife? It may help you take less control and having to do less micro managing. As well as learn to take time out for self care so you feel happier. | /r/RedPillWomen | 02/03/24 06:59 PM |
| 3 | Thoughts on this? When I was just 18 (I'm soon 19) after my breakup, I made a post about it & someone messaged to help etc & we seemed to have a connection but he was 30.. He treated me nicely & would of been able to take care of me but of course idk...Getting help doesn’t necessarily have to be therapy although it can help. You can google ways to become more confident, how to set healthy boundaries etc. Find books on those subjects. We live in a time where a lot of help and information can be found online. Don’t forget the help you can find in the outside world though. Confide in friends about situations you feel make you slip back into old habits, ask them for second opinions on decisions or for encouragement on keeping boundaries. Sometimes… | /r/RedPillWomen | 28/02/24 10:35 PM |
| 18 | Thoughts on this? When I was just 18 (I'm soon 19) after my breakup, I made a post about it & someone messaged to help etc & we seemed to have a connection but he was 30.. He treated me nicely & would of been able to take care of me but of course idk...You clearly have issues with upholding boundaries and sticking to your own decisions. This is partly due to your age, you are more impressionable when you are young. But you should try to see things more rational and get some more self respect. Maybe consider getting some help for that. On the question should you again message this man, no. You said your goodbyes. He made you feel very uncomfortable multiple times and nothing out of his behavior has shown that he was planning on actually doing a… | /r/RedPillWomen | 28/02/24 10:07 PM |
| 58 | I got what I thought I should want, and I miss what I threw awayYou are correct, you are now closer to knowing what you want in a partner. And that partner is out there somewhere, but you have to be available to look for and find him. Right now you are unavailable to date the right partner because you are taking care of a man who is not what you want. And that is not fair on him or on you. If you want, and you are single you can always try to reach out to the guy that got away. But you should probably prepare yourself for the great chance of him being taken … | /r/RedPillWomen | 28/02/24 06:26 PM |
| 4 | I’m still sad that I (25) left my ex (26)You are thinking of your ex because you are dissatisfied with your current love life. Your love life won’t improve if you change nothing. Look it is too easy to just say “leave him”, since you have certain timelines in your mind, so while I encourage you to see the good in the man you are currently dating. It is also very important that you are happy. And if this guy is not making you happy or is not planning on giving you the future you want, don’t waste more time. You have time to find your ac… | /r/RedPillWomen | 27/02/24 03:35 PM |
| 4 | I’m still sad that I (25) left my ex (26)Well that is just wasting your time! Why date with a guy for 6 months if he does not have the qualities you are looking for. Or worse a year. Are you dating this one man exclusively? If so, you are wasting time while you could be meeting new men who you can built a genuine connection with and a future. | /r/RedPillWomen | 27/02/24 03:26 PM |
| 7 | I’m still sad that I (25) left my ex (26)Look I can’t judge on the mindset of these men. But my point is that maybe neither can you. Because you misjudged your ex, you might very well misjudge these other men. There might be things you can work on in that regard. Do you have better control over your emotions and overthinking so you are less likely to look for faults where there might not be any? Are you looking at proper ways to vet these men? Are you not being to critical? That being said you are not at a bad place in life. You are 25… | /r/RedPillWomen | 27/02/24 02:58 PM |
| 11 | I’m still sad that I (25) left my ex (26)It’s not for you to “save” him from his “crazy ex”. He is probably happy otherwise he wouldn’t have married her. To stop the cycle you need to be aware that you are in a cycle. You thought your ex was not good enough so you left him, you regret that now and it is too late. Accept that first. Then you need to realise that the bigger issue is that no-one seems to be good enough for you when you date them. Even this perfect ex was not good enough for you. That is what you have to work on. People ar… | /r/RedPillWomen | 27/02/24 02:17 PM |
| 19 | Final “test” before proposal? And how long to wait.I believe this is a case of “if he wanted to, he would”. You have been together long enough and have lived together, there is no need for a test. He earns enough money to take care of more bills, get you out of your business, buy a ring etc… he could do all those things but he chooses to not do it. And you have to decide if you are okay with that. | /r/RedPillWomen | 24/02/24 07:00 PM |
| 11 | Dating in collegeOkay so you are actually in a good position I think. First of all to get it out of the way, point 1 is not really about you, nor can you do anything about it. So what if other girls do get some action and it is not plastered on their forehead. Focus on your own actions and on your own values. Point 2, you are young, meaning you have time enough to vet guys. You also have no need for a relationship at this moment, as you said yourself. So you can take some emotional distance while getting to know… | /r/RedPillWomen | 23/02/24 07:49 AM |
| 1 | Am I being gaslit or am I the crazy oneI agree. The fact that she is checking his location multiple times a day (presumably every day he is not with her) is already evidence enough that it is not healthy behaviour. Nothing wrong with sharing locations for safety if both parties agree to it. But it should not be used to track the other person constantly. | /r/RedPillWomen | 21/02/24 04:15 PM |
| 48 | Dating and being "older"Well what do you think is your main issue here? Because 50 men to date without anyone working out is quite a lot. I also don’t understand your last paragraph. It is an issue to you when they were never married, but it is also an issue if they are divorced… how does that work? Only widowers? You will give yourself very little options. | /r/RedPillWomen | 19/02/24 07:34 PM |
| 2 | Need advice on how to approach my man without sounding like I’m nagging or complaining!!I’m really sorry for the situation you find yourself in. It is not fair on you and must be really difficult seeing the sacrifices you made and are still making. Are you hoping you can still figure this out with him? Or are you already checking out emotionally? | /r/RedPillWomen | 15/02/24 03:42 PM |
| 2 | Need advice on how to approach my man without sounding like I’m nagging or complaining!!Okay interesting. Did you ever have a good sexual relationship with him? Before you moved in with him for example? | /r/RedPillWomen | 15/02/24 03:15 PM |
| 11 | Need advice on how to approach my man without sounding like I’m nagging or complaining!!Okay so the first thing: does he watch porn (a lot)? This is important for finding the cause of his behaviour. Second, stop giving him all these blowjobs, especially when you have told him your desires and he does nothing for you. It is not fair. Writing him a letter is a good idea. It will allow you to release some of those feelings you have been holding in without it turning into an explosive fight. Be aware though that he might never change and you have to choose for yourself if he is worth s… | /r/RedPillWomen | 15/02/24 01:44 PM |
| 6 | Do you think the average straight woman feels this way about guys?Do you think the average straight woman feels this way about guys? Indifferent to sex? I would say no. Personally I can’t relate to that. will the right guy just make me jump on the same bandwagon? I don’t know. You could be demisexual, meaning you can only feel sexually attracted to someone you have a connection with. You could also never be interested in sex no matter the person. There is only one way to find out, which is to put yourself out there and experience it. Oh btw I saw your other po… | /r/RedPillWomen | 15/02/24 09:54 AM |
| 5 | Help me stop overthinking/ fretting about my boyfriend's colleagueHow does your boyfriend respond to those messages from her? Is this again something he only sees as overstepping a boundary if you bring it up or did he handle this issue appropriately by himself (telling the coworker it is in fact overstepping a boundary)? | /r/RedPillWomen | 14/02/24 08:37 AM |
| 5 | Should I move on or try again?I’d say go for it. Worst case he ghosts you or rejects you but at the very least you will have the closure you need. And who knows maybe it will pay off! | /r/RedPillWomen | 12/02/24 08:58 PM |
| 156 | Boyfriend only wants me to wear skirts/dresses majority of the timeIt is often said here that a guy who is very much into the RP is not necessarily a good match for a RPW. I feel this is the case here. He makes a lot of demands and has a lot of criticism of you by the sound of it. That being said I don’t know what type of relationship you would want. Do you consider yourself red pill? Or traditional? If so you might want to seriously consider why after 5 years of dating he has not proposed and if he is not just stringing you along. He might just be happy having… | /r/RedPillWomen | 12/02/24 04:07 PM |
| 31 | When should I tell a man that I'm abstinent?If I were in your shoes I would bring it up on one of the first dates when casually discussing life plans. It’s important to know if he wants kids and marriage, so when you ask or he brings up these topics it would be appropriate to tell him you are abstinent. You might also want to think about disclosing your possible asexuality at one point. Although I understand this might be a difficult topic. I feel it would not be fair to date a man with a high libido, share with him wanting to wait till m… | /r/RedPillWomen | 12/02/24 03:48 PM |
| 5 | Partner & friends. Not sure how to handle this.Oh that adds another layer again. OP seems to have bigger things to worry about then the boyfriend having a best friend… OP, you might want to consider where you actually want this relationship to go and if you and him both are doing what is necessary to get there. | /r/RedPillWomen | 11/02/24 04:15 PM |
| 14 | Partner & friends. Not sure how to handle this.I can understand you being a bit bothered by it, but if he still spends quality time with you and appreciates you then it doesn’t have to be an issue. I am more so wondering where you want this relationship to go and where does he want it to go. Because 7 years together and not living together and I don’t know if engagement is on the table, but it sounds a bit weird. I don’t know if you guys are really young, but make sure you don’t get strung along by this guy. | /r/RedPillWomen | 11/02/24 01:56 PM |
| 3 | "What do you think?" - how the heck do you respond to this question?!Your welcome! I can relate. As women we often want to give these very elaborate advices, highlight all different sides of a story etc. While when dealing with your man a concise and clear answer, even when you disagree with him, can be way more effective a lot of the times. It takes practice though, so good luck! | /r/RedPillWomen | 11/02/24 09:46 AM |
| 2 | Man knows I am a slut and still wants to be my boyfriend. Do I trust him?You should vet him thoroughly if you don’t want to be used for sex. So start slow, date and hold some distance. Don’t sleep with him until there is serious commitment. If he is only in it for the sex you will know soon enough. | /r/RedPillWomen | 11/02/24 09:04 AM |
| 3 | "What do you think?" - how the heck do you respond to this question?!If he asked you what you think the dog needs, and he is still really invested in making it work, and you answer with I don’t see it improving we may have to get rid of it. I can understand him not really liking the answer. He was probably looking for a simple answer like more discipline or maybe try more positive reinforcement, or something like that. And you gave him a… well defeatist answer. Him getting super mad is not fair though. Nor to call your entire mindset defeatist on this one thing. … | /r/RedPillWomen | 11/02/24 08:59 AM |
| 21 | How do I 26f fix this mess of a life I have built so farHave you gone to therapy? Because your actions make me feel like you think very little of yourself and have some unhealthy coping mechanisms. Any improvement to your life should probably have to come from your own mental health first. | /r/RedPillWomen | 10/02/24 08:53 PM |
| 13 | Not sure if this is appropriate to post here but posting because I have a more “traditional” relationship and having some issues. PLEASE helpLook in a good relationship you validate each others feelings, you make your partner feel heard. Like I said maybe you could have been a bit more compassionate in your first reaction. But I don’t like the language he uses or even you use. The constant having to respect him or appease him, cater to him. Again submission is different than being a doormat. A good relationship is a two way street, it doesn’t matter what the dynamic is. I am afraid you are creating a monster so to speak, if he isn’t … | /r/RedPillWomen | 09/02/24 09:23 AM |
| 33 | Not sure if this is appropriate to post here but posting because I have a more “traditional” relationship and having some issues. PLEASE helpSubmissive is one thing, doormat is another. Could you have acknowledged his feelings a bit more in the first interaction, sure. But you did nothing wrong, you did not flirt and he got insecure. In the end you did apologize and validate his feelings, all the things you felt you needed to do. And now he is angry and basically testing you for the next days because you supposedly flirted with a guy which you denied and because you got scared of his own behaviour. I’m not sure what advice you are lo… | /r/RedPillWomen | 09/02/24 08:41 AM |
| 17 | I’m terrified I’ll never experience romantic love. Think I’m unlovable and unattractive.First thing first, you have plenty of time. So relax! I think the best steps you can take now is to become more confident and more feminine both in looks and personality. Both of those traits don’t work well with being stressed out. So really, relax. A happy, fun and lighthearted woman is more appealing to a man than one who is desperately waiting for him. | /r/RedPillWomen | 06/02/24 03:52 PM |
| 6 | Balancing career and a traditional man.Vet for this. When you are dating a guy and he mentions that he would like a wife that will stay home with the children and never persue a career, listen to it, don’t brush it aside. Same thing if you are on a date and the guy tells you he wants a wife that works and doesn’t stay home with the kids. Take the hint, he is not the right match either. You are 20, you have enough time to thoroughly date and vet men. In the meantime you can always try to work on your femininity and physique. Big chang… | /r/RedPillWomen | 03/02/24 08:30 AM |
| 10 | Why am I so combative and struggle with being pleasant?How are you feeling overall? Are you happy and lighthearted or are you stressed? The latter will often make you react more combative. Maybe invest some more time in self care and feeling happy and feminine. | /r/RedPillWomen | 31/01/24 01:06 PM |
| 3 | Extremely different sleeping habitsWe do this. I am a very light sleeper and he is a very noisy one. So from pretty much the beginning I knew that if I wanted to stay fun and loving I needed sleep and I can’t get it next to him. And we do indeed sneak into each others room like teenagers, it can be very lighthearted and funny as well as passionate and exciting! It also gives us the ability to enjoy each others company fully for the entire day and evening and then decompress at the end with our own routines. It works great for us. | /r/RedPillWomen | 30/01/24 02:07 PM |
| 11 | i'm never the first pickYou don’t have to do everything at once but pinpoint what should be a priority. You mention going to the gym, this can be a good first step if you are not in shape. | /r/RedPillWomen | 24/01/24 06:07 PM |
| 8 | i'm never the first pickWhat do you think you are lacking? Is it looks and/or personality? First step would be to become aware of the points you can improve on. | /r/RedPillWomen | 24/01/24 05:13 PM |
| 2 | Is a list of expectations going overboard?Fair enough, good luck! | /r/RedPillWomen | 24/01/24 11:29 AM |
| 15 | Is a list of expectations going overboard?Why would you want to be with a man that is avoidant? Especially if you are so yourself as well, wouldn’t it be nicer to have someone who naturally takes more initiative? So you don’t have to do it all the time? I feel like he already showed you what you can expect from him. And unless he had other very redeeming qualities maybe you shouldn’t even want a relationship with a man who does not enthusiastically wants to be in a committed relationship to you. That being said, if you don’t mind pushin… | /r/RedPillWomen | 24/01/24 09:58 AM |
| 16 | Is a list of expectations going overboard?To be honest giving a list with expectations to a guy who told you he gets put off by girls putting expectations on him does not sound like the greatest idea if you really like this guy and don’t want to push him away. I would let his actions speak for themselves, everyone can say yes to a list of things, that does not mean their actions will reflect that that list now and especially on the long term. If you want to try to make it work you could tell him more casually what you like. “I would lov… | /r/RedPillWomen | 24/01/24 09:05 AM |
| 5 | feeling like a slut and I'm still a virgin, how can I get over it, and does my boyfriend think it too?I think going forward it is important that you are aware of your own feelings and do right by yourself. Discovering yourself and allowing yourself to go outside of norms is not bad in itself. And giving your partner pleasure by doing so neither. BUT keep track of your feelings, if you are still okay with it down the line. Be sure that he is not pressuring you and when you don’t want to go farther or rather take a step back do that. Have respect for yourself, be in the drivers seat when it comes … | /r/RedPillWomen | 22/01/24 03:48 PM |
| 7 | feeling like a slut and I'm still a virgin, how can I get over it, and does my boyfriend think it too?Okay well I don’t think it is necessarily slutty, although it might not be the wisest choice since you have not been together for very long and it is not very accepted in your environment. You don’t want to do something that he can shame you with, even though wat you are doing isn’t shameful by default, if this relationship doesn’t work out. I suppose your shame comes from your environment mainly, since you feel like everyone knows and has an opinion about it. Which is understandable, but if you… | /r/RedPillWomen | 22/01/24 10:42 AM |
| 18 | feeling like a slut and I'm still a virgin, how can I get over it, and does my boyfriend think it too?Seeing your post history, you started the webcam sex just over a month ago, that’s when you came here and said you felt like you went to far and asked for advice on how to take a step back. As you tell it now you didn’t take that step back but went forward instead, which is fine of course. But I am wondering what you want advice on in this post. Again on how to take a step back? Being reassured in your actions? Or the opposite? | /r/RedPillWomen | 22/01/24 09:41 AM |
| 11 | My ex boyfriend (M25) wants me back (F25)Well you can always start vetting him again for a few months to see if he has changed for the better and can actually keep up the good behavior. I am a bit wary though because of your attachment to him, since this can cloud your judgement and he has shown manipulative tendencies in the past. If you do this, you will have to protect yourself emotionally so the past can not repeat itself. | /r/RedPillWomen | 17/01/24 11:28 AM |
| 18 | Wishing that he provided moreThere is a lot going on here, so I won’t adres everything but your final paragraph is pretty telling actually. You have only been dating for 5 months and he bought you “a few” “random” things you needed, which is very helpful and kind, and the way you put it is kind of dismissive. He pays for your meal every time, very generous. He gave you a laptop, again very generous. What more can you expect from a guy you practically just met? Why would he completely support you now already? It is not his p… | /r/RedPillWomen | 17/01/24 11:21 AM |
| 81 | How to get over being pumped and dumped?OP seeing your previous posts you have to stop sleeping with random men. It does nothing for your self worth. Stop reading the red pill men stuff en buying into things that make you feel like shit. Maybe back off from social media for a bit. Stop saying you are stuck and you’ve hit the wall. You’re 26, plenty of time to better yourself. So do that please, and not for men but for yourself. I feel for you, but your situation is only going to change if you take responsibility for your actions and d… | /r/RedPillWomen | 16/01/24 10:28 PM |
| 7 | Loose vaginaExactly there are reasons enough why a guy can’t orgasm, please OP don’t assume right away that there is something wrong with you | /r/RedPillWomen | 16/01/24 05:05 PM |
| 2 | Should I cancel the date?Do you want to go on a date with this guy? Because it does not feel like it. You already begrudgingly put in some effort to find a gallery, which is not that weird of an ask for a man knowing that you are interested in art. You pretty much ghosted him for a week by never answering his confirmation text or sending anything else after. And you don’t want to go through the effort of sending a re-confirmation now. All in all you are putting very little into this date/ starting relationship and then … | /r/RedPillWomen | 16/01/24 09:07 AM |
| 16 | Prenup fights make me want to reconsider marriageI feel for you, it’s so disheartening when a person you were ready to marry betrays you like this. You discussed a prenup and he went behind your back. That is just not trustworthy behaviour. You have reason enough to want to back out of this, especially if you feel over it and the actual marriage has yet to happen. Take it as a positive for you that he showed this side of him now and not after you married him. | /r/RedPillWomen | 13/01/24 02:13 PM |
| 1 | How to keep the passion while working from home?Seeing your previous post and next to what other commenters have said you might also want to consider lowering the time you spend online as well. If a post from someone here can result in you being so anxious about that possibility that you almost spiral into creating an entire plan to prevent a situation which otherwise might not have crossed your mind, you may want to protect yourself a bit. It happens to me sometimes too, I notice that in some moments (like more free time less real life distr… | /r/RedPillWomen | 13/01/24 08:52 AM |
| 3 | being afraid of coming off as a gold digger made me unable to receive, helpOP asked how she could overcome her uneasy feeling. Your way could be a way to do that. However it is not about money, or wish lists, it’s about gratitude. And I think appreciation for what he gives goes farther than rejecting his ideas. And I would have said exactly the same if it was his idea to bring her back a stone while she wanted skincare. Appreciate what he gives you, it’s a nicer thing to do and it will bring more intimacy. | /r/RedPillWomen | 12/01/24 01:55 PM |
| 9 | being afraid of coming off as a gold digger made me unable to receive, helpI don’t really agree with this. Of course ask for a rock if you want it, but here is a guy who takes initiative to give something to his girlfriend because he wants to and was thoughtful and noticed that she liked similar things online. Why would you want to shoot that down? This really relates back to Laura Doyle, about receiving gracefully and respecting your man enough so you don’t feel the need to reject his ideas or adjust them. I doubt any one likes it when they have a wonderful idea for a… | /r/RedPillWomen | 12/01/24 01:05 PM |
| 9 | being afraid of coming off as a gold digger made me unable to receive, helpYou are aware that this is an issue for you, so that’s step 1 done. Now whenever you feel like this, just try to go with the flow. He asks you your favorite products, you answer. No need to overthink things. Allow your feelings when you feel uncomfortable about it but also allow your feelings of gratitude when he gives you things. Soon enough you will realise that it is nice that he gives you things, it will also feel good besides maybe uneasy at first. You become a happier and more grateful gir… | /r/RedPillWomen | 12/01/24 11:03 AM |
| 32 | I (F27) discovered boyfriend's (M27) hidden home videos with his ex; he lied about deleting them. Would you break up?I would not accept it. That being said if you have a lot of feelings for this guy and he has other redeeming qualities then you might want to give him a chance by talking about it in a serious manner. If he can’t even do that, as it seems he has not been able to do in the past, I would say it gives you even more closure. Either way, conversation or not there is enough reason for you to distrust him and want to end things. | /r/RedPillWomen | 10/01/24 10:16 AM |
| 44 | Bf doesn’t enjoy having sex with me? What am I doing wrong?That makes sense. There have been quite a lot of stories like yours here. Men that are bored of sex, only like bjs, are very selfish in the bedroom etc. And in frankly most if not all cases the guy watches a lot of porn. Porn can make people (but men seem more sensitive to it) want to constantly see new and over time more extreme things. Porn is also very focused on male pleasure, making men who watch a lot of porn and see porn as the way sex is done selfish lovers. Meaning that you can do whate… | /r/RedPillWomen | 09/01/24 04:13 PM |
| 81 | Bf doesn’t enjoy having sex with me? What am I doing wrong?With stories like this I feel like the first thing that needs to be made clear is if he watches porn and how much of it. Because the way you are describing things leads me to believe you are not doing much if anything wrong. But first thing first, does your boyfriend watch (a lot of) porn? | /r/RedPillWomen | 09/01/24 03:55 PM |
| 23 | i think my bf acts too femininely. opinions on what to doHe is comfortable with you. Which is actually a good thing. Many men experience a lot of pressure to be masculine and need an outlet somewhere to be truly themselves. I think every man is going to have that to some degree, they are complex human beings just like women who have feelings and need comfort. Nonetheless you still need to like the person he is when he is totally himself with you. And your boyfriend could just be too emotional behind close doors for you. I don’t think it is something y… | /r/RedPillWomen | 07/01/24 11:13 AM |
| 32 | i think my bf acts too femininely. opinions on what to doThis is where the vetting comes in. He shows you quite clearly what he is like. In my opinion you will not change a man like this to be manly. Maybe if it was one aspect you could change it, like having him stop saying he is cute. But seeing your multiple examples, it is probably his personality and you are not going to be able to change that. And it is probably not fair for him to live in a relationship where his natural behaviour is a bad thing for his partner. You are now a few months in, thi… | /r/RedPillWomen | 07/01/24 09:21 AM |
| 9 | He doesn’t want to have conversation with meMy first boyfriend was like this, and he was diagnosed with autism. I felt like I was quiet that whole relationship. And it gave me quite the complex about not being fun enough or interesting enough. Even though this was not a problem I had experienced with other people in my life. There were some other issues but this made me feel so unloved and uncared for. I left the relationship feeling like I couldn’t speak without boring people to death. A few months later I met my man. And he is completel… | /r/RedPillWomen | 27/12/23 10:26 AM |
| 3 | Do y'all let your husband cheat on you? If so, what are the agreements and terms of your relationship and at what point do you consider the boundaries to be crossed meaning divorce may be on the table?Those podcasts are not meant to help women. They are geared towards men, using the talking points of RPM. A sub like this one, with just normal people and women living their best life how they want it, often traditional, is completely different. | /r/RedPillWomen | 21/12/23 11:31 PM |
| 28 | Is anybody here a survivor of Schrödinger’s PatriarchyGreat and refreshing perspective on feminism. People can be overly critical on feminism while also having a too positive image of the past. I like your notion of using feminism to create the traditionalism we want. And especially the ability it gives to select the men who are truly good husbands and partners for us, because that was something many women were not able to do in history. Thank you for the perspective! | /r/RedPillWomen | 16/12/23 12:31 PM |
| 13 | He is loyal, responsible and family oriented. Everything my ex who strung me along wasnt, and everything I thought I wanted after him. But..I couldn’t date a man that is stingy, so I don’t. It’s part of the vetting process to look for undesirable traits and if you can deal with them. If you can’t, you should probably move on because the chance of this changing is very small in my opinion. | /r/RedPillWomen | 10/12/23 01:34 PM |
| 2 | I'm a widow. I've been single and celibate for 16 years. I've only been with 2 men.With an subject like this it is important to do what feels good, don’t force yourself into doing things because you feel like you have to. I do think that with the current dating climate it will make it more difficult if you are not willing to have sex before marriage. But not impossible! So if that is how you want it, you don’t have to settle for less but you might need quite a bit of patience. Men are a very large group, so you will be what some men want, and for some you will not. You only ne… | /r/RedPillWomen | 09/12/23 10:31 PM |
| 3 | YellingYup, was thinking the same. The behavior is prevalent, both of men acting out dominance without any leadership and women just taking it. Please read it OP, it’s very helpful! I don’t handle my man’s yelling, he never yells let alone mock me, and neither should any good man do to you. | /r/RedPillWomen | 09/12/23 10:23 PM |
| 10 | Relationship adviceAh I see, well then it may just have been his issues that prevented it going farther. Which I can understand you feeling disappointed about, but it is not your fault. And I don’t think it is fair to yourself to start doubting your looks over it. He may have realised he wasn’t ready for a relationship, and he at least took time out to speak to you about it which is the decent thing to do. Just for information because it might have affected the situation, but don’t feel pressured to answer if you … | /r/RedPillWomen | 30/11/23 12:03 PM |
| 4 | Relationship adviceI think a guy that does not like your looks (or not even your looks in your case but just knowing you have alopecia) would probably have cut you off after the first date when you told them. That does not seem to be the case for the guy that send you the audio messages. It’s a very emotional response. It does not sound to me like a guy who can not deal with your alopecia. You quite recently came out of a relationship, do you feel like you are guarded towards men? This could be a factor. | /r/RedPillWomen | 30/11/23 10:08 AM |
| 2 | How do you let go & let him lead?Such a helpful post and very relatable haha, thanks from another anxious lady! | /r/RedPillWomen | 29/11/23 09:33 AM |
| 6 | Partner & OnlyfansI’m so sorry for what is happening to you at the moment. You seem really kind and like you make such an effort for him. And I understand you feel betrayed because you were. I also understand that you don’t want to leave him right this second because it is not easy to do. Especially if he is in many aspects a good partner. But his behavior cannot go on for longer. It will destroy you and your family. So I would highly advise you to make clear how you feel to him, and that you desire change from h… | /r/RedPillWomen | 29/11/23 09:27 AM |
| 5 | How do I find a good man?I would just like to give you another perspective on your comments about online dating and other comments about young men not being serious because I understand it can be difficult but it doesn’t always have to be. I found my man when I was 20 and he was 24 on a dating app. We have been in an amazing relationship for four years and he just bought us a house. My man’s brother met his girlfriend when he was 21 on a dating app and they just got engaged and also bought a house this past year at the … | /r/RedPillWomen | 28/11/23 10:38 AM |
| 9 | ThanksgivingWords can have a big effect on children when they grow up, especially teenage girls and their bodies, so I completely understand your worry about his statement. This however is probably innocent and he has no idea what the effect on his child could be, so there is absolutely no reason to call 101 or anything like that. It’s not a crime and the child is not in danger. I would however mention it light-heartedly in a future conversation, just to give some perspective. Or discuss with your husband t… | /r/RedPillWomen | 24/11/23 10:20 AM |
| 25 | I (26F) received the bill from my BF (26M) after our trip and he proposed that we should split expenses from now onJust for information, did you offer to pay for the dates you went on before where he paid? Or did you assume he was going to pay? Because that might explain why it comes out of nowhere for you, but may have already been an issue for him. Beyond that I don’t really like the way he goes about it. Especially with the living situation. You would be in the right to ask him to pay for rent if he is wanting to split you on everything else. Also how is the cleaning, cooking situation? Because if that is… | /r/RedPillWomen | 21/11/23 08:11 PM |
| 2 | What does a healthy sex life look like?You probably just need to have a sincere and open conversation about your sex life. Put it all on the table, your needs, his needs, how he may feel about your body, how you feel about your body, talk about the cheating, dit it change something for you and/or him. And then just go from there. My man and I talk very openly about our sex life and it really helps with intimacy which in turn helps with frequency and other aspect of a healthy sex life. Good luck! | /r/RedPillWomen | 21/11/23 05:40 PM |
| 2 | What does a healthy sex life look like?Do you feel like he makes an effort to help you regain that intimacy? Or does he brush of your insecurities? He already tried to blame his cheating on you so I don’t blame you for not having the highest of desire for a man that has cheated and may not be as supportive of you. A healthy sex life is communication, two people who try their best and acceptance that sometimes stress and other factors in our lives will have an impact on the frequency. If he can’t do that and decides to cheat instead h… | /r/RedPillWomen | 21/11/23 05:25 PM |
| 13 | I desparately want a baby but husband isn't readyI think constantly asking and needing reassurance is not helping. And makes me think that you may not be emotionally ready for the rollercoaster of being pregnant and having a baby. Which is fine, it is a big deal and you can work on it! I would recommend that you focusing on being happy even if you don’t have a baby right now, it is never guaranteed anyway, and there are many things to be happy about like being married! And then you can show yourself as loving, stable and confident. Which shows… | /r/RedPillWomen | 13/11/23 11:00 PM |
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