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Butterflyskirt Archive

View 7 posts and 64 comments by Butterflyskirt on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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1

You might be on to something here: :/ But I don't feel like I "settled" on him in order to secure a future. Because when we got together I wasn't looking for the same future that I seek now. And neither was he. Thing is I have changed so much in the past year or so. When I was younger I was so sure I'd never want kids (which I was upfront about), so it was never a real consideration. But now that I've realized that I do want them, I'm having to think about things that I did not consider before. …
/r/RedPillWomen27/09/14 09:33 AM
0

I don't see how that is snarky.. I genuinely don't understand how that is bringing nothing to the table, which is the response I got. It's like everyone thinks they KNOW exactly what I and my SO are like based on this one post and making huge judgements. Also, sorry for not answering everything. It's getting difficult to keep track. I had to re-read and I'm guessing you were referring to this?: Can you explain how your SO lacks initiative? Does he fail to meet his obligations financially and wor…
/r/RedPillWomen26/09/14 04:38 PM
1

I'm sorry, where have I been snarky? I am trying to answer everything sincerely.
/r/RedPillWomen26/09/14 04:24 PM
1

You really think that willingness to put the family ahead of career, striving to be a good wife, and avoiding racking up a meaningless high number on the "cock carousel", is bringing nothing of value to the table? Aren't these all things that are encouraged in this subreddit?
/r/RedPillWomen26/09/14 04:04 PM
0

Well, of course. I guess I'm thinking in terms of youth will be of value to a man looking for a woman to start a family with.. But other than that it's really up to the individual man what he will find of value. I don't feel I need to dive into intricate descriptions of myself and how these features will be of value in a relationship to the right person. What can one bring to a relationship other than enthusiasm, willing to please, dedication to the family and to work on the relationship?
/r/RedPillWomen26/09/14 03:59 PM
1

It's clear you have no idea what the reality of dating brings Of course I have no idea. I have never been in the dating market. Here's a question: tell me this, what makes you deserving of a relationship at all? What do you bring to the table? I don't feel entitled to a relationship. I have never said I deserve anything better than what I have. All I have said is that I am curious about something different, not necessarily better, and I wonder if it's something that I need to go through in order…
/r/RedPillWomen26/09/14 03:51 PM
1

No, I do appreciate you being honest. I just felt like I was trying to rebut your "you are aiming for 1% of men" comment and asking if I was really being unrealistic (cause I really don't know), and you responded with sarcasm and snark..
/r/RedPillWomen26/09/14 03:21 PM
3

Thank you for the in-depth response. It's really helpful. Maybe my problem is as simple as I don't know a good thing when I see it. And what can I do to solve that?
/r/RedPillWomen26/09/14 03:20 PM
2

Sorry, I really don't see why you are being so hostile, and making it so black&white. :/ I came asking for advice as I wanted some perspective and sort out my thoughts, and to better the situation.
/r/RedPillWomen26/09/14 03:05 PM
0

I don't feel as though I'm "leading him on" or something malicious like that. I love him, and I've worked hard at this relationship, and it truly has been what I thought I wanted - up until relatively recently, with swallowing the red pill and all of this stuff. I try to keep things exciting for him as much as I can. I surprise him with his favorite cooked foods. I give him the "girl friend experience" every now and then. I have planned more than one trip for us. I feel like I'm doing all I can …
/r/RedPillWomen26/09/14 03:01 PM
2

I live in Scandinavia - tall men are not exactly the 1% here. And it's not like I would expect a head taller than me or something unrealistic like that, when I am already taller than average for females. And as far as I know, introverts are in the minority meaning most people are extroverts - but that does not even mean I want him to be super "outgoing", party every weekend type, cause that is not my personality either. Are these really unrealistic standards? I feel like you are exaggerating my …
/r/RedPillWomen26/09/14 02:52 PM
3

What do you think dating extensively is if not sleeping around? No man worth a crap is going to feed you dinner for weeks while knowing about all the other men feeding you dinner and be okay with not having sex. "Dating extensively" is either jumping onto the cock carousel or sitting at home alone in your pajamas eating ice cream. Well, considering that I've never "dated", I guess I don't really know what it is? I'm not expecting to just be taken on paid dinners, nor do I want to ride the "carou…
/r/RedPillWomen26/09/14 02:36 PM
1

Yes you are right. And I want to do right by him too. Which is why I want to figure this out, and deal with it now - rather than when the stakes are higher, like when we are married and have kids..
/r/RedPillWomen26/09/14 11:49 AM
1

I'm not really sure what you mean. Sorry, English is not my first language so maybe resent is not the right word? I didn't really mean directed at someone, like anger. It's obviously my own fault. Just sort of in general - feeling bitter maybe? I don't think my options are "dwindling" yet. I take good care of myself. But it is on my mind that I only have a certain period of time left, of course. Like this is the "deciding point" in my life or something. I feel so much pressure to not mess it up.
/r/RedPillWomen26/09/14 11:10 AM
0

Yes, hopping from one relationship to the next was really stupid. I was young. But it was not "hopping" in the sense that I left my first relationship FOR my current SO, if that's what you are thinking. Perhaps I worded it badly. My first relationship ended for unrelated reasons, and I met my SO afterwards - it just happened to be very quickly afterwards. And I stupidly latched on to the first person to show me interest instead of taking time to be alone, heal, and really make a choice. That's w…
/r/RedPillWomen26/09/14 10:49 AM
-1

It's not about some "alpha" guy. I don't see my current SO as a beta. It's more about, I feel afraid of becoming resentful in the future due to my lack of experience, and I want to know how to handle those feelings. I don't think dumping him just so I can get to know how the dynamic with other guys might be is exactly a wise move.. I don't know what to do. Could you expand on what you mean by that I am "toying" with men?
/r/RedPillWomen26/09/14 10:26 AM
2

Thank you. I appreciate the perspective!
/r/RedPillWomen26/09/14 10:19 AM
1

Nice! Is it common to marry so quickly where you are from? (No judgement at all, just curious!)
/r/RedPillWomen20/08/14 08:49 AM
1

Close to my and my SO's age. :) May I ask how you met?
/r/RedPillWomen19/08/14 06:46 AM
2

You're the first one with a relatively large age gap! I'm quite amazed at how many couples met at 19 as well.
/r/RedPillWomen18/08/14 02:39 PM
2

Congrats! :))
/r/RedPillWomen18/08/14 02:36 PM
1

Grats on the engagement!
/r/RedPillWomen18/08/14 07:20 AM
1

Well put. :)
/r/RedPillWomen26/07/14 09:54 AM
2

It's funny that you mention "intellectual curiosity" - as that's something I'm struggling a little with in my own relationship at the moment. Sometimes I wish my man were "intellectually curious"; read more, etc. But then I wonder if that's really so important. He's a smart guy, don't get me wrong - just not very introspective, whereas I am probably way too introspective and over-thinking all the time. He is a "simple", easy guy in many ways - and maybe that isn't such a bad thing?
/r/RedPillWomen26/07/14 09:53 AM
1

It's difficult to be objective about one's own "worth" though.
/r/RedPillWomen26/07/14 09:44 AM
4

How do you know if your expectations are realistic or not?
/r/RedPillWomen26/07/14 09:42 AM
4

Yes, this is exactly what I was trying to get at. You put it very well. :) I'm thinking that we would call "settling" today is really just an illusion we are slave to because of all the perceived "options" out there.
/r/RedPillWomen25/07/14 02:41 PM
6

Of course. The frame of mind is entirely different in general. But would you encourage RP-minded women who try to cultivate respect and gratitude, with a low partner count, and who values commitments to "settle", or is the message still the ever-prevalent "hold out as long as it takes to find the perfect man for you!"?
/r/RedPillWomen25/07/14 12:12 PM
1

Yes of course. I figure that goes without saying. My question was more geared specifically towards women's hypergamy though.
/r/RedPillWomen17/07/14 12:58 PM
2

Yes that's certainly true. But isn't it generally understood that women's hypergamy is stronger in the sense that they want a mate who is "better" than them - a man that earns more, higher social status, more intelligent, etc?
/r/RedPillWomen17/07/14 09:58 AM
16

If he knows that it makes you uncomfortable, he shouldn't be blatantly obvious about ogling other women while he's with you - just out of respect. That's my opinion anyway. Looking forward to seeing the other comments.
/r/RedPillWomen17/07/14 09:17 AM
1

This really worries me as well.. Growing up there were always other kids just playing outside in the neighborhoods/playgrounds by themselves.. Now, everything is either supervised in a daycare, or they stay at home. I worry a lot about the direction of the world. :/
/r/RedPillWomen12/07/14 10:10 AM
1

True.. That's one of my other major concerns, both me and my SO are introverts and we worry about how children will affect us in that regard.
/r/RedPillWomen09/07/14 06:09 PM
1

Haha :D No idea why the switch?
/r/RedPillWomen09/07/14 06:08 PM
7

I heard this is a "common" problem in Korea where plastic surgery is really normalized - and couples end up with uglier kids than they expected, lol.
/r/RedPillWomen09/07/14 09:31 AM
1

Yea - I'm certainly not against it if it would really be a huge improvement for someone. But I do think a large minority of girls are insecure about things that other people would simply see as "unique" or charming.
/r/RedPillWomen09/07/14 09:30 AM
6

I've always been self-conscious of my nose (it's slightly large and with a "bump"). And I probably would have been inclined to have a nose-job were it not for the fact that my father randomly told me "Don't ever do anything to your nose", out of the blue one day when I was a teen. After that, I never really let myself consider it seriously.
/r/RedPillWomen09/07/14 07:13 AM
2

I wonder if INTJs are more likely to be childfree as well? Seems to be a large number of them here.
/r/RedPillWomen09/07/14 07:05 AM
1

That's so sweet. :)
/r/RedPillWomen09/07/14 07:01 AM
6

I'm just curious? I started having this fear myself after swallowing the red pill. Just trying to get other perspectives.
/r/RedPillWomen08/07/14 03:20 PM
5

That's sort of what I'm thinking/fearing.
/r/RedPillWomen08/07/14 03:18 PM
9

To those who are childfree with a partner: Do you never have any lingering fear of your SO changing his mind when you are past child-bearing age and then having to leave you to start a family?
/r/RedPillWomen08/07/14 02:07 PM
3

Yea, I realize that. :) I'm also just curious about the reasons for deciding not to have kids.
/r/RedPillWomen08/07/14 01:25 PM
2

Good way to put it. :)
/r/RedPillWomen08/07/14 12:58 PM
2

Maybe we could also round up some other books, besides "Surrendered Wife"?
/r/RedPillWomen08/07/14 12:09 PM
5

I think I take things too seriously. I'm always over-analyzing things. And my SO definitely senses when I'm churning thoughts in my head as it affects my mood. So I'm trying to get better at getting myself out of that state of mind - but it's hard!
/r/RedPillWomen06/07/14 05:14 PM
2

Sounds like you guys have a lot in common!
/r/RedPillWomen06/07/14 03:17 PM
3

Do you read the same books? Or separate genres? :)
/r/RedPillWomen06/07/14 03:16 PM
2

That looks great! What tweaks did you make?
/r/RedPillWomen06/07/14 07:05 AM
1

Is that a serious question? Yea, I am questioning the relationship - but I would never cheat on someone.. Nor am I interested in the casual sex situation implied by "alpha fucks".
/r/RedPillWomen05/07/14 05:44 PM
1

Ooh that's a great looking recipe! I really want to try that. Thanks for sharing!
/r/RedPillWomen05/07/14 07:49 AM
2

Some of the things that annoy me? He spends all of his free time on PC games or things related to games; he doesn't ever read and doesn't seem interested in learning new things, expanding his mind - as a result I feel like we never have any sort of deep conversations about life. I have to admit I think I might be comparing him (probably unfairly) to my father. My father was always very outgoing and talkative, and always had a story and a life lesson to teach. He was quite the "philosopher". And …
/r/RedPillWomen05/07/14 06:30 AM
2

I like this idea. Usually if there are any sort of surprises or plans they come from me. Maybe I should just take more of the lead and do it myself? But will that really encourage him? Won't he just expect me to keep doing it then? I mean, I love doing little nice things to surprise him, but what I would really like is for him to take the lead and initiate. He has never surprised me once in our relationship. Though he will often tell me things like "Oh I was thinking of surprising you with....."…
/r/RedPillWomen04/07/14 07:14 PM
3

Of course. I really need to clear my thoughts and feelings up.
/r/RedPillWomen04/07/14 06:40 PM
2

Sure, we both do those little things for each other, and express appreciation. We do love each other. But that sort of deep love/attachment isn't necessarily the same as the lusty/passionate type of love, if you know what I mean? It feels like we're already an old married couple sometimes! For example I've told him that I would really love it if he planned a date for us out of the usual - something exciting, but it just never happens.
/r/RedPillWomen04/07/14 06:34 PM
2

Yea.. but how exactly do I get him to become alpha again? Without blatantly telling him I'm not as attracted anymore..
/r/RedPillWomen04/07/14 06:27 PM
3

I think I get what you're saying, but I'm not so sure if that's it.. Yes, I realize my attitude is up to me. I'm just not sure if an attitude-change is the way to go, or if I'm overlooking a larger problem. I feel like I'm constantly putting effort into the relationship, whether it's with improvements to my own behavior, or studying/reading about better understanding relationships and men. I feel like trying to "water my own grass" is my full-time job.. Come to think of it maybe all of that is w…
/r/RedPillWomen04/07/14 02:25 PM
3

The thing is, we are pretty much constantly with each other, so having a "date night" out doesn't really feel all that special or exciting. And saucy texts seem to have flown out the window a while back for us. I think we're just way too far in the secure/comfort zone with each other, that neither of us really feels like we need to try anymore. I don't know how to snap us out of it. I've have tried in the past to take more initiative on that front but it doesn't ever seem to be met with the same…
/r/RedPillWomen04/07/14 01:54 PM
3

Thanks, that's a good idea. It may just be an attraction issue.. We are both fairly introverted homebodies and don't get out much into social settings - which probably doesn't help.
/r/RedPillWomen04/07/14 12:57 PM
2

I only really wear them around the house cause my SO likes them. But they tend to make me a feel a bit too exposed if I wear them out, so I stick to dresses and longer skirts in the summer.
/r/RedPillWomen04/07/14 08:02 AM
3

I like to make him green, white, or peppermint tea with bits of sliced ginger and chili peppers, and honey to sweeten. It's really soothing for the throat, and the ginger+chili helps clear up the sinuses.
/r/RedPillWomen04/07/14 07:53 AM
11

From my limited knowledge, Tinder has a reputation of being a "hook-up" app. So perhaps it's not the best way to meet the right men? There are a lot of factors to consider when dating a guy with a kid, which complicate things: Do you want your own family with him;Does HE want more kids? Are you ok with the child's mother always (presumably) being a part his life? How/why did the relationship with the mother end?..
/r/RedPillWomen03/07/14 07:09 AM
2

I live in Sweden, it's probably different from in the US, but definitely a strong thing here. Scandinavia as a whole is on top when it it comes to "gender neutrality", i think.
/r/RedPillWomen02/07/14 07:13 AM
2

I saw some of her submissions before - they are really impressive! I agree that jealousy and admiration can be two sides of the same coin.. Women would be better leaning towards admiration and viewing those they are jealous of as role models to strive for, rather than being vicious and butt-hurt about it.
/r/RedPillWomen01/07/14 12:34 PM
You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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