"If I have to stand next to one more woman that makes me think I'm at a fish market..." or "If I have to stand next to one more woman that makes me think she's hiding sourdough starter on her person..."
Aaaaaah...but the entertainment. My SIL is entitled...money-grubbing (before she married my brother, when she was still living with her family, they would leave the price tags on Christmas gifts so everybody knew how much got spent...their excuse was it made it easier to return). I would gift her crap from TJ Maxx...packed in boxes from Sak's, Tiffany's, etc.
Give her a gift certificate for that store every year from now on, with a comment on the card "Because your grooming is more important than our parents' health."