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CConnelly_Scholar Archive

View 1 post and 77 comments by CConnelly_Scholar on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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Upvotes Title Category Author Subreddit Date (UTC)
287

FeminismCConnelly_Scholar/r/MensRights25/04/25 07:50 PM
Upvotes Comment on Subreddit Date (UTC)
0

This is such rage-bait. The article on this ad-hellhole of a website does not link to the original poll and only reports one category from it, does not report the reach or methodology.
/r/MensRights21/04/26 01:10 PM
-22

Log off, touch grass
/r/MensRights09/04/26 09:18 PM
5

Their reasoning is explicitly on the talk page. Wild that balanced conversation is getting downvoted, I remember when men's rights was pretty explicitly separate from MGTOW. For good reason... Because yeah, the concept of just working on yourself is great, the people who posted a bunch online in some particular forums for it, well...
/r/MensRights17/02/26 10:47 PM
-10

Worth checking out the talk page, where there's some discussion of the misogyny claim, why it's there, and what would have to happen to get it removed.
/r/MensRights17/02/26 08:04 PM
0

Maybe. These absolutes are such a childish understanding of people and relationships, but that’s not really the point. One accuser can be sus, Gaiman and Palmer had a pattern. I’d think this story would be of interest to MRAs through the lens of the presentation vs reality of that pair. But no one is literate these days and we always just react to the rage bait headline I guess and go no further (mostly at OP, not you, acting like jurisdiction issues prove innocence).
/r/MensRights11/02/26 04:47 PM
13

Guys, this one ain't it. This case got dismissed due to jurisdiction issues because the events and current locations of people are across three countries. If you read some of the older articles on the subject, it's very clear Gaiman is a nasty piece of work hiding behind feminism. It is not clear what all of his accuser's motivations are, but there's more than a smear campaign to this one.
/r/MensRights10/02/26 05:33 PM
-6

Anecdotes aren't data but in addition to the response that other people have had this is a "go outside and talk to older people" moment. What was/is an ordinary experience in a relationship has changed pretty drastically, and it becomes strikingly obvious if you speak to any number of people across the generations. Also a bit of a nitpick No. Wife-beating was never acceptable, that's a feminist myth I know you're specifically talking about the U.S. in the '50s, but more broadly in history it has…
/r/MensRights05/10/25 10:04 PM
1

Aware of that, and doing my best to push back. Posting a bunch of rage bait and then losing your mind in the comments isn't really a healthy way to cope or move forward imo. Men's rights are important in ways that society at large fails to acknowledge, this community is ostensibly about addressing that...
/r/MensRights15/09/25 09:40 PM
-16

I think you need to take a deep breath and reread this conversation very slowly. What assertions am I actually making? The rage bait on this sub is fucking ridiculous y'all gotta take a chill pill.
/r/MensRights15/09/25 09:34 PM
-27

idk, just seems like horrid optics, man. There's easier stuff to move the needle and focus on imo. We wonder why MRA is seen as toxic manosphere stuff and then posts like this make it to the top of the sub. Sure, there's a more nuanced conversation to be had, but it's also really easy to look at this as a bunch of guys identifying with a rapist...
/r/MensRights15/09/25 09:20 PM
-32

Sure but like... idk she was arrested and went to jail for it. This seems like a very weird hill to die on when we could focus on stuff that more meaningfully affects average men who don't rape people.
/r/MensRights15/09/25 07:53 PM
7

Yeah but the point that that doesn't belong here is pretty spot on. idk if we wanna equate "men's rights" and "rapist's rights". Seems like a pretty big L, to me.
/r/MensRights15/09/25 07:41 PM
5

Yep, we have better relationships with one another when we work on being fully fledged people first. Wisdom definitely applies regardless of gender.
/r/MensRights29/08/25 06:02 PM
-2

This is one of those things I do not relate with this sub on. I have never had a woman make light of my experience with sexual assault (well, barring the people who assaulted me), for me it's always a guy on that "us guys always enjoy it" kool-aid.
/r/MensRights20/05/25 05:21 PM
3

This is a general challenge with hate speech detection; issues with the lack of context likely apply to hatred towards women as well. A lot of hate (and non-hateful responses to hate) involves humor, which NLP notoriously struggles with. Not to say the difference is necessarily uniform, but it's hard to know.
/r/MensRights27/04/25 12:46 AM
1

I find this research kind of hopeful as it puts some points of disagreement from hateful people on both sides to bed. Hate looks similar no matter who's expressing it, surprise, surprise. Of course, there are some serious limitations to those findings, and both groups will be quick to point out that these findings don't address important context for the hatred. Fundamentally, feminists tend to believe that women have it worse in today's society than men, and MRAs tend to believe the opposite. Th…
/r/MensRights27/04/25 12:34 AM
19

This isn't really true. AI will always be trained on data generated by humans, and replicate human biases. Whether you consider an application of AI 'true intelligence' is kind of tangential to that core problem. Whether the average comment on the internet is biased in favor of feminism (or anything in particular) is its own complicated question that deserves an entire program of research to answer.
/r/MensRights27/04/25 12:25 AM
14

This sounds an awful lot like the feminist justification for misandry. This kind of rhetoric causes the whole conversation to devolve into oppression olympics to determine who is allowed to spread hate. You bring up some real issues here, but throwing hate back is not the answer.
/r/MensRights25/04/25 09:38 PM
3

Personally I wanted to be super career focused and didn't wanna worry too much about all the drama of a dating scene. Was lucky enough to find a partner who's right for me anyway and I can start a family with in the future, but I didn't think I 'needed' that as part of my life trajectory. It wasn't about being isolated or not starting a family either; I was likely to adopt if I ended up on my own and have a rich social life. Just didn't want to bother with all the drama that everyone seemed to h…
/r/MensRights26/02/25 04:51 PM
1

Yes, this is sexual assault. Even if you're into it, this is the kind of thing you have to consent to beforehand, or it is not OK. As for the pregnancy thing, you should try to set up explicit boundaries around the protection you use during sex. As others have said, there are some major red flags here. Consider breaking up with her, but if you want to continue the relationship, please have a firm conversation around your boundaries. If she continues to disrespect that the relationship is never g…
/r/MensRights25/02/25 05:50 PM
4

Yeah classic courtship is wack. Once you're past that though there are a lot of ways you could arrange labor in the relationship, including the 'she cooks/cleans, he works' kind of arrangement. Don't go for traditional expectations because they're what's expected of you, but if you're in a decent stable relationship there's nothing wrong with going 'traditional' when you hit the point where you wanna move in, plan a family or whatever.
/r/MensRights25/01/25 10:30 PM
12

Yeah this, I know well-adjusted perpetually single men in their 40s and 50s. I don't know or care whether or not they're virgins, but to me the bigger distinguishing variable between "incels" and the well adjusted guys is a strong social network. Heck there are incel adjacent dudes who technically have sex but develop those issues because they don't form close relationships, gender notwithstanding.
/r/MensRights23/01/25 03:14 AM
12

It's also the name of a pretty neat band, fronted by a dude who had this to say about the name: "I wanted to call the band something that sounded pretty and pathetic at the same time. I thought the name, Male Tears, would allude to something most of the world deems worthless." Kind of a cool reclaiming imo.
/r/MensRights13/01/25 09:23 PM
3

Just try it out and see if it works for you. More comfy on the balls, if you care about mobility but like the upsides you might be better off with a skirt/kilt.
/r/MensRights11/12/24 08:27 PM
2

Yes. It honestly wasn't a massive concern of mine before I started dating her (I don't really watch said films and I'm pretty happy with my body, my insecurities have historically been more about my face lol), but she has a other male friends who have EDs or have been tempted by steroids and the like.
/r/MensRights21/11/24 08:36 PM
1

examples of these depictions? She basically just talks about how 'ripped men' in media are increasingly unrealistic, dangerously dehydrated, etc... Like for example look at Brad Pitt in Fight Club -- He was dehydrating himself for his abs to show like that, but that's comparatively a pretty realistically achievable look for most men to the bodies shown in today's superhero films for example.
/r/MensRights21/11/24 02:28 PM
4

Yep! I have a great girlfriend who's really balanced about gender issues. Cares about men being mistreated by women just as much as women being mistreated by men. Is very vocal and supportive, points out how toxic depictions of men can give us body image issues (while struggling with eating disorders herself), etc...
/r/MensRights20/11/24 06:44 PM
2

Guess my girlfriend is toxically masculine then lol
/r/MensRights04/09/24 04:49 PM
1

Something oft forgotten in the venting on this sub is that a lot of women actually do love men in their lives, and can actually be more aware of the specific ways women can suck. To be honest men can go a lot more all in on the 'the woman is always right no matter the circumstance' kool-aid than women can, while women are necessarily exposed more directly at some point in their social lives to the ways other women can be awful sometimes. Orientation matters too, regardless of gender attraction c…
/r/MensRights13/08/24 04:00 PM
5

I feel like no one is a lot better than everyone though, which is actually a lot more common than female conscription.
/r/MensRights13/08/24 03:50 PM
1

Imo on average boys "want" it because they're told they want it. Some girls have the same experience too and go for older men at that age. In both cases it usually ends up traumatizing in the long term. I knew a lot of kids of both genders when I was younger who went for older people, and I don't think it was ever a positive experience for them long-term when that attention was returned. This just seems... obvious though? Idk what to say to people who don't get it. This guy wishes now with hinds…
/r/MensRights13/08/24 03:31 PM
4

The article actually has text and methods that you can read. You can take issue with the generalizability but the questions are actually very clear, and it's kind of wild the number of people self-reported what they did in this one (alcohol/drug consumption was one variable that they say is associated with assaults but they don't actually define assaults by it in this one).
/r/MensRights13/05/24 07:06 PM
7

Know this from experience?
/r/MensRights11/05/24 12:12 AM
1

I think people who are loud about any 'correct' lifestyle are often just pretty insecure. I'm in a more traditional relationship where I'm the breadwinner and my girlfriend takes care of the home, but I don't feel the need to evangelize about that lifestyle or think that it's 'better' than 50/50 or even the opposite. My mom was the breadwinner of the family and my dad did more of the caretaking of me and my brother and I had a great childhood. I'm also a vegetarian and I think it weirdly relates…
/r/MensRights06/05/24 06:15 PM
4

what's really weird is this org seems to have programs for men (http://www.rad-systems.com/rad_men.html). Feels like they should have started feeling out if there was enough interest to get started. Looks like they're making bank of this regardless (at least having the courses hosted at your org seems to cost a bit, idk how much their operational costs are).
/r/MensRights22/04/24 06:18 PM
2

huh, not finding anyone talking about title IX in this context and I feel ill equipped to interpret law like this. I did find this though which is kinda interesting: http://www.rad-systems.com/rad_men.html
/r/MensRights22/04/24 06:14 PM
8

In the states I assume? Where is this happening?
/r/MensRights22/04/24 04:55 PM
2

Just try to be above it. I got the small penis/ugly stuff when I told a girl to stop groping me uninvited. The funny thing is that I was kind of into her at that point but was just a bit off put about being groped at a mutual friend's place. After that reaction it was a definite no though.
/r/MensRights21/04/24 10:19 PM
1

"The predictions, which were developed using IARC’s Global Cancer Observatory,13 take into account both projected demographic changes (population ageing and population growth) and temporal trends in incidence and mortality." From the commission report. The numbers are projections heavily incorporating demographic changes. The degree of severity is specifically tied to using the aging population trends in the projections. It really cannot be that they did not think about this.
/r/MensRights05/04/24 08:52 PM
3

If you follow the article to the original source it's citing, the 80% increase is a projection based on changing demographics. There literally cannot be another explanation because the 80% increase is not a thing that happened, but a thing they are predicting happening based on that specific phenomenon. Prostrate cancer might increase for other reasons, but the 80% number is actually specifically derived from and entirely explained by the population changes by definition.
/r/MensRights05/04/24 08:12 PM
2

The comparison is just kind of poor though, the timespan of deaths from COVID is significantly smaller than the over two decades being described in the arbitrary timespan given by the Tweet author. Not to undercut the overall point, but the comparison is just a bit confusing/random tbh and does more to hurt than help when contextualizing that number of deaths.
/r/MensRights02/04/24 11:42 PM
12

As springy pointed out, even sexual arousal itself doesn’t imply consent as other factors could also be at play. Further, this is part of the trauma that sexual assault survivors often have to contend with, associating the feelings of pleasure with the sense of violation and powerlessness and ultimately developing a difficult relationship with one's own sexuality.
/r/MensRights26/03/24 05:46 PM
3

I'm sorry that happened to you, that sounds really violating.
/r/MensRights22/03/24 05:17 PM
1

There can be this mental glitch where people think because they were ahead of their time at one point they never have to do any work ever again. People who were on the right side of marriage equality when it went to the supreme court are stuck in that moment of righteous pride and don't realize how much time has passed since then.
/r/MensRights22/03/24 05:12 PM
14

Truly horrifying.
/r/MensRights16/03/24 04:44 PM
5

As much as them repeating themselves and acting like they're owning you is uh... something. They are correct. The U.S. is not by any reasonable definition a democracy. Functionally, it is an oligarchy because the wealthy hold such outsized influence.
/r/MensRights13/03/24 03:04 PM
1

Yes, absolutely. But relationships are a little more complicated than 'person bad'.
/r/MensRights13/03/24 12:05 AM
0

Guys, you're getting the context of the worst parts of their marriage. This guy married this woman for a reason, this is not how you give helpful advice to someone about someone they love regardless of how true it is.
/r/MensRights12/03/24 06:04 PM
2

That seems like a bad sign. Standing by her perspective and not regretting her actions is one thing, but she should be able to express empathy for how that hurt you too. If she can't do that it's a serious red flag.
/r/MensRights12/03/24 05:26 PM
4

Super interesting video, I like a lot of the constructive advice in here.
/r/MensRights12/03/24 04:45 PM
1

I have no idea lol he deleted the message.
/r/MensRights12/03/24 04:41 PM
2

Not sure what the person who was replying to you was saying since it's been deleted, but a grift is basically a long term scam.
/r/MensRights12/03/24 04:28 PM
1

Traumatic experiences work that way, and clearly that was it. I feel for you. Her knowing your perspective is one thing, but has she worked to regain your trust? Does she understand how traumatic that all was for you?
/r/MensRights12/03/24 04:14 PM
3

Relationships can't work like that. If you can't talk about the most important issues you're having it will not work. Hurting each other is normal. Hurting each other and failing to talk about it and work through it is also sadly normal, but a serious ill omen. Either have the conversation or it's doomed.
/r/MensRights12/03/24 03:48 PM
1

Have you had an honest conversation with her about why things aren’t going well? It sounds like she breached your trust by mistrusting you, which means if this is going to work that needs to be rebuilt. That can happen if you talk honestly and are both willing to work together. A lot of people here are clamoring for divorce, which is certainly a possibility. But presumably you married this person for a reason, and would rather make it work if that’s a possibility?
/r/MensRights12/03/24 03:05 PM
12

Good point, the optics are really not great with how this tends to play out on social media.
/r/MensRights10/03/24 08:16 PM
1

Yeah that makes sense to me, just sharing why I was throwing shade at FB/other social media even though you're probably right the dating is better. For as crap as reddit is in a lot of ways I do really appreciate the lack of an arcane AI driven feed like you get on most other platforms.
/r/MensRights05/03/24 09:52 PM
15

This is fair. The dark side of Facebook is more centered around it's ad model than trying to get you to pay. Your feed is designed to keep you online as much as possible with no regard for what that does to your mental health (my feed always prioritizes things my friends say that piss me off, presumably because FB implicitly knows that's the best way to engage me even though I don't want to).
/r/MensRights05/03/24 09:49 PM
84

This is the real issue. These apps lose out if people end up in happy long term relationships and stop using them. Same with how the financial incentives of social media lead them to often create algorithms that are unhealthy for their users.
/r/MensRights05/03/24 08:33 PM
1

Well what ought to happen is a separate but related question from the existence of a pay gap, yeah. What I’m saying is any simple across society figure is reductive. We need to talk about specific problems to arrive at specific solutions.
/r/MensRights04/03/24 11:47 PM
5

Worth noting there's a difference between the buzzfeed articles that get thrown around about this stuff and the genuine economics work which there is no shortage of. If you actually want to look into the numbers it's really complicated and there is a ton of variety around location, demographic, job, etc... I tried understanding it doing a lit review on google scholar but my brain fuzzed out. I don't have the mental energy to properly understand this stuff for hobby reasons and it's not related t…
/r/MensRights04/03/24 11:01 PM
1

Differences in pay between genders is a complex issue with a complex answer. I only know enough to know I don't know the whole story, but it's not as simple as "no pay gap exists", nor is it as simple as "men make x% more than women". It's highly variable across location and industry.
/r/MensRights04/03/24 10:44 PM
2

This is such a good and grown up take. I was never able to properly work through my own gender trauma until I started dating someone who wanted to work through hers. Idk if it works the same way for lgbt people but for us straights I think gender healing has to be a collaborative process because so much of our baggage is tied up in our desires and expectations of each other.
/r/MensRights04/03/24 10:18 PM
0

It's complicated. Communities like this can be a bit doomery because all the conversation is around one issue so it can seem super extreme when the whole feed is news articles about the same stuff. But men can definitely experience abuse in ways that doesn't get talked about enough, be subject to unachievable social expectations, etc... A lot of us have experienced at least some of that in our lives, just probably not to the same extent you'd imagine if your only context was browsing this subred…
/r/MensRights04/03/24 09:11 PM
12

There's a lot of writing from the early feminist movement about how hard it was for women to even understand they had been sexually assaulted when they had because there wasn't language for it. Men are still in that boat, we have not developed the language or norms to talk about or process those experiences when they happen to us. It took years until after the events to be able to say confidently what had happened to me because there is a prevailing understanding that men always want sex. I took…
/r/MensRights04/03/24 09:08 PM
1

This conversation came up because we were playing the new installation in the FFVII remake series. We've played the og and the conversation was largely about stuff the remake hasn't hit yet, but genuinely it's a great story that tackles a lot of masculine trauma and the interplay between boys' and girls' complexes and issues. We need more media like it imo. It resonated really hard with both of us and the guilt and shame we both have had to contend with stemming from how our childhood relationsh…
/r/MensRights04/03/24 06:35 PM
2

Society isn't doomed because of some shitty people and bad takes. Those have always existed and always will.
/r/MensRights04/03/24 06:17 PM
4

Where does that leave young men: In isolation. I was just talking with my girlfriend about this. When we were all younger it's a really common experience for the girls to be interested in men but the boys to be interested in girls their age. This leads to a lot of complexes on both ends because the men who will date young girls are predators. The girls deal with some amount of guilt for not giving the boys their age the chance, and the trauma of dating predatory men young often results in them e…
/r/MensRights04/03/24 05:33 PM
2

I’m not sure that the DoJ report debunks the 1-in-4 claim per se because it uses a different definition of sexual assault and different methodology than surveys showing a higher number Yeah came here to say this... The amount of rape which occurs on college campuses is a difficult and highly variable thing to measure. Different methodologies coming up with different numbers do not 'debunk' one another. It's silly that in that 25% number gets thrown around so much in that context since it's a lot…
/r/MensRights03/03/24 06:13 PM
1

Sure, that's not a bad way to think about it at all I don't disagree with anything here. Some of masculinity is likely fixed, a lot is cultural, and it's really really hard to disentangle the two while being stuck inside a culture. History can help gain perspective somewhat but it's not perfect. I think what I dislike about the toxic/positive masculinity framing is that it often frames masculinity as something a lot more rigid than it actually is, and the way these concepts are talked about ends…
/r/MensRights02/03/24 04:24 PM
5

I assume the issue with dominance is around the implication that sex is something a man does to a woman rather than something that they engage in together. At least that's the negative aspect I see in the framing. One of those things where there's a natural cool version of something that has negative connotations in how it's been painted over by culture imo.
/r/MensRights02/03/24 03:09 AM
6

At the risk of TMI... she talks about her attraction to the curves of my muscles (she's annoyed that we define women shapes as the curvy ones, and says curves are sexy on everyone men's are just different), the shape of my body and the broadness of my shoulders. She also talks about liking the softness in my eyes, softness and human emotion contrasted with the more traditional masc 'hardness'. She likes being squeezed really tight and says that feeling the full strength of my arms like that make…
/r/MensRights02/03/24 01:19 AM
18

This is something women actively struggle with I think. My girlfriend definitely feels like there's a lack of examples in media that help her to express and contextualize her attraction to men in the way that she actually feels it. This stems from bad expectations of both men and women. Men are supposed to be domineering, aggressive, and hypersexual. Women are expected to be meek, shy, and unsexual. So being overtly sexual contradicts what a lot of women feel is expected of their femininity. Thi…
/r/MensRights02/03/24 12:43 AM
1

Yeah pretty much what OP said, I wouldn't judge Hannibal outside of the context of his time and that's not really the point. Sure there are traits in a context I'm more familiar with (like hyper-violence) that I might define as both masculine and bad, but it's still pretty contextual and I don't think it's super constructive to cross the conversations between what makes good/bad behavior and what makes someone masculine/feminine too much. More widely, the issue I take with your definition of mas…
/r/MensRights01/03/24 03:25 PM
1

Hell yeah brother. The only person whose esteem matters is your own. Embrace being a soyboy cuck to the cons, a pussy to the jocks, a loser nerd to the girls who don't care enough to listen to what you have to say. Badges of honor, all.
/r/MensRights28/02/24 08:52 PM
1

This framing has backlash that hurts women too. My girlfriend is really tall and is insecure that she can't be cute because there's such an expectation that girls be shorter than their boyfriends/feels like being a dominatrix (which she is absolutely not, and is not comfortable being seen that way) is what's expected of her since it's the only positive way people really talk about being into taller girls.
/r/MensRights28/02/24 07:48 PM
7

I think category theory is useful here. The people trying to argue for 'positive masculinity' often fall into this trap of creating a definition just as rigid as the one they're trying to argue against. Masculinity is a set of features that not all men have, but taken collectively make you 'more' or 'less' masculine depending on how many boxes you tick. What specific features is of course cultural and based on our own experience, and probably heavily rooted in storytelling as well as the example…
/r/MensRights28/02/24 07:23 PM
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