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CallMeJessIGuess Archive

View 0 posts and 509 comments by CallMeJessIGuess on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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Upvotes Comment on Subreddit Date (UTC)
5

Yeah the comparison to a literal drug addict who will show clear physical signs of addiction is so eye rolling. Pretty sure he also has no real insight into people on the spectrum. All he is talking about it talking note of small bits of information given and piecing it together. Thats not some magical skill where you can just intuitively know something out of nowhere. It’s literally just listening and paying attention to the things people tell you. Which is actually something people in the spec…
/r/PurplePillDebate20/09/22 09:27 PM
2

The boundary thing, super important. Abusive and manipulative people tend to steer clear of people with healthy boundaries and a strong sense of self. Let the people know early on you aren’t allowing the little things they do to slide, and they tend to fade out of your life.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/09/22 02:26 PM
1

Get I kind of when you guys make some point that screams “I’m disconnected from reality” then flail around trying to justify if when called out, then finally resort to “you just can’t understand it because you’re not as smart as me” Then take your ball and stomp home.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/09/22 10:24 PM
1

You’re right. I can’t comprehend why you would bring up Instagram models as some valid example of anything. I doubt I’m alone on this take.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/09/22 10:21 PM
1

It’s by hopeless you mean emotionally we’ll off with positive self image and in a years long healthy and realistic relationship with someone who doesn’t view me as some prize to be claimed and owned? Then yeah I guess I’m hopeless.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/09/22 10:18 PM
1

You sound like someone who’s entire relationship experiences come from “data” they read online. IE someone who has no actual practical experience. But keep parroting taking points and chasing that Instagram fantasy. Get back to me in ten years and let me know how it turns out.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/09/22 10:01 PM
1

I’m starting to think the same about you. We aren’t talking about situations that are pure fantasy to 99% if the population. At this point I’m not even sure you know what point you’re trying to make. How does your example have ANY relevance to the discussion pertaining to the people were actually talking about? IE the people here on this sub reading this?
/r/PurplePillDebate19/09/22 09:50 PM
1

So you just bring up social media examples for no reason? You basically more trying to backpedal and claim you weren’t using it as a justification? Then why did you even bring it up? Good lord you’re bad at this.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/09/22 09:36 PM
1

You literally bright up Instagram as a justification. As of that’s some realistic example of most peoples reality. You do realize everyone can go back and read the comment you just put up right? I’m not reading your mind, I’m literally replying to something you explicitly brought up. Don’t use social media to justify your point, ever.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/09/22 09:30 PM
2

Maybe don’t go comparing the average person to Instagram models and the people who pursue them? Just a thought. This is the issue when one’s entire view on dating, relationships, and social interaction is though a social media filter.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/09/22 09:20 PM
0

Because if you expect and insist your partner to make 4x what you do annually that’s unrealistic. Unless they are profoundly wealthy to the point where money basically doesn’t exist for them, why would someone accept a person who’s basically just going to be a financial weight? Not saying it can’t happen, hell I’ve been been in a relationship where my partner made way more than me. But not enough to where I never had to contribute. I also had no idea how much they made early on.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/09/22 09:09 PM
2

Because it’s indicative of unrealistic expectations and standards. Not that a partner MUST match you step for step. But a partner shouldn’t feel light a weight chained to your leg. I feel the OP is lacking a lot of context. A relationship doesn’t always have to be dead even to be functional and healthy. But when it’s wildly uneven, there’s no balance to be found. Honestly my biggest issue isn’t this form of hypocrisy. It’s when “preferences” aren’t applied evenly across all dating prospects when…
/r/PurplePillDebate19/09/22 08:57 PM
2

See I actually DO understand that. I was being very literally when i said I’ve been on both sides of my “grass is always greener” analogy. Which is why I do admit I much prefer having to sift through a pile of bad options than feeling like I have no options. So I do sympathize in that regard. Most women really don’t understand that a testosterone driven sex drive with no real release is in fact agonizing.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/09/22 03:13 PM
3

This is one of those “you need to accept your can’t comprehend it” things I was talking about. You’re clearly trying to equate an estrogen seven sex drive with that kid a testerone driven one. That’s not how it works. If you can’t see why a woman would rather not have sex then have disappointing sex where they are basically just used as an object for a guy to but I don’t know what to tell you. Men think “bad sex is still sex”. Women think “bad sex is a waste of time.”
/r/PurplePillDebate19/09/22 03:00 PM
3

Ah years such a privilege, being able to get unfulfilling and disappointing sex whenever I want from people who don’t give a shit about me. I’m so lucky.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/09/22 02:43 PM
5

Not possible. Even your perspective and comments are littered with biases you don’t even see. Nothing is free from bias, especially not when it comes to topics like this. Every experience you’ve ever had will color you view on it in ways you don’t realize. Because you keep going in about how how no one could possibly understand the struggle of men. While failing to acknowledge you can’t understand the struggle of women. You’re blatantly falling for the “grass is always greener” fallacy. Guess wh…
/r/PurplePillDebate19/09/22 02:35 PM
4

Holy shit this is SUCH a bad take. Porn (yes even lesbian porn) is explicitly catered to men and what men want to see. There’s literally a sun explicitly for women to post lesbian porn that’s appealing to women because the main s as in for it is filled with men posting things they are absolutely not erotic to most women. OP you’re also unwittingly outing yourself. Your are basically admitting you have poor combination skill with your sexual partners and done create an environment where they are …
/r/PurplePillDebate16/09/22 01:28 PM
19

This is exactly what I was thinking while reading OP’s post. Most people I know could never afford to live on their own for the bulk of their lives, let alone have kids. I would argue very few households within my age range have a single income. That necessity, means women expect a man to do more than just “bring home a paycheck”. They expect them to do their share of the housework, which is exactly where many many men falter. Basically working two full time jobs and only getting paid for one is…
/r/PurplePillDebate16/09/22 12:55 PM
12

And thus they seek out women with low self esteem who are easier to control and manipulate. For well adjusted men who actually want an equal partnership low self esteem in women is absolutely a red flag.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/09/22 01:39 PM
6

Well if that’s isn’t a microcosm of men pushing all the responsibility and accountability onto women when it comes to gaming and raising children I don’t knit what is.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/09/22 01:12 PM
5

They'll ask why they are suddenly several inches shorter. Thanks I'm glad you see how women get locked into presenting a certain way or get negative feedback and reinforcement on their appearance to the point they feel they MUST wear makeup any time they go out in public by comparing how a man would feel stuck having to perpetually lie about his height or get looked down on (no pun intended). Glad we had this conversation.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/09/22 11:35 PM
3

point is they are still doing something to their face that makes them look more appealing than they really are. Also are you trying to tell me they aren't also wearing makeup when they go to events and award shows when they never know when or how they are going to be filmed on live tv? Makeup isn't inherently feminine like some of the (sexist) men on here like to spew. Makeup can accentuate masculine features just as much as it can feminine features. Ironically some features that are considered …
/r/PurplePillDebate14/09/22 11:23 PM
-5

Oh deary me how ever will I retort such claims about what men have to do to get attention and how much harder they have it!? Oh that right I'm trans. I literally know EXACTLY what it's like to exist like that, I had to do it for decades. I know exactly how men think, act, and feel when they think women aren't around. I know exactly how little effort they feel they need to put in and how "unfair" it is that they are expected to. While I know exactly how much more effort I choose put into myself n…
/r/PurplePillDebate14/09/22 11:16 PM
6

Men only think they don't care about makeup....until they seem women who aren't wearing makeup. Most men don't know a damn thing about makeup and think heavy makeup is light makeup, and think that light makeup is no makeup. Do you have any idea what women who normally wear makeup hear from men when they aren't wearing makeup around those same men? "you look tired" and "are you feeling okay? You look sick" are two of the most common things they will hear.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/09/22 09:57 PM
12

Every single male in tv and movies anyone has ever seen was wearing makeup. Every, single, one. You don't hear women calling them "too feminine". Makeup absolutely can be an advantage. One men refuse to take advantage of because it threatens their precious masculinity. It also takes a LOT of practice and effort to get good at, way more than most men are going to be willing to put in if the attitude from SO many men is any indication. Women have much higher standards huh? That's why men largely i…
/r/PurplePillDebate14/09/22 09:52 PM
4

It’s relating to age bracket. I have more social skills now than I did at 22. If someone at the age of 39 has the same social skills I did at 22, that’s where the problem lies. And let me tell you, there’s a lot of emotionally stunted guys in their 30’s out there that thinks having a full time job, car, and not being physically abusive makes them some kind of amazing catch.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/09/22 05:23 PM
7

No, to you and what you believe about women it is. This sentiment says far more about you and your idea of what love is than you seem to realize. Understand that what you’re basically doing is rationalizing how YOU claim you would behave if you were a woman.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/09/22 07:23 PM
1

Good job showing you don’t know what intrinsic means.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/09/22 12:35 PM
1

You’re being obtuse and not arguing in good faith. Saying “nothing really matters” is a cop out and you know it.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/09/22 04:18 AM
1

Faulty comparison. Human being are capable of contributing measurable benefits of society and existence. They aren’t some nebulous concept. Virginity does nothing in any measurable or practicality observation. The idea that virginity is some sacred object they can be taken or needs to be protected is mindless traditionalism at its worst.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/09/22 03:34 AM
3

This doesn’t even get into the faulty notion that virginity has some intrinsic value. It has no value beyond the pretend value people give it, It’s 100% internalized. I’m convinced that what most guys really mean when they put such value in virginity is “young and naive woman who I can more easily groom and manipulate.”
/r/PurplePillDebate06/09/22 04:01 PM
4

Sure you are. Which is why your entire comment was laced with personal bias and assumed intentions of others. Nothing about what you said is in any way objective.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/09/22 03:24 PM
10

Yeah you do. Because you’re taking something and twisting it into something where you can point fingers and play the blame game. What you just said? Ya know what I get from that? That women are actually socially educated growing up where men aren’t. This isn’t a “woman are disingenuous and use people for emotional support”. The fact that you assume so is the part you need to reflect on. It’s pure projection, you assume that’s what people are doing because that’s what you would do. No, this is a …
/r/PurplePillDebate06/09/22 02:53 PM
5

Wow this is a really twisted view. Like seriously self reflect on this please. I also disagree. My unpopular opinion is actually that women have a very hard time forming long term, genuine friendships. Most women I’ve know through my entire life basically have a whole new friends group every 5 years or so. Something always happened where the fall off one friends at a time. Where as men tend to form and keep friendships Far more often. How many grown men do you know who still have close friends f…
/r/PurplePillDebate06/09/22 02:38 PM
20

Was gonna say something similar. It’s a lesson that too few people learn. Don’t look at how someone treats you, look at how they treat others. Look at how they treat people who they don’t want something from. That will tell you the kind of person they are.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/09/22 06:12 PM
1

Yeah, and make no mistake I do sympathize with the feeling of social awkwardness and discomfort. I lived it for a very long time and inadvertently created an entire exaggerated persona to feel comfortable socially. But the biggest mistake someone can make is blaming everyone else for their anxiety and lack of social skills. Skills are learned, which means you can always improve them and learn new ones. Doesn’t matter how old you are.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/09/22 06:36 PM
2

I’m still very close with all my friends back home. But I also have a solid group of friends here. That didn’t just happen. It was years and years of natural interactions around my interests and actually putting myself out there to meet people. Their was no secret motive behind it. I wasn’t doing it thinking “yeah this will attract women.” (Do guys actually think like this?) Most of this was all while I was still living as a straight male mind you.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/08/22 05:25 PM
1

I need this sub is useless for anyone who is actually coming here expecting real self-help advice from well-adjusted people so…. 🤷‍♀️
/r/PurplePillDebate30/08/22 09:04 PM
3

I’m sorry but anyone coming to this place looking for genuine advice on self-help is beyond lost.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/08/22 09:01 PM
2

If this an advice sub? No it’s a debate sub. I’m way more empathetic on advice subs where people actually want advice instead of lashing out at everyone and blaming everyone else like they hang no control on this own existence. Nobody as adding any guy here to do what I did. The suggestion literally just boils down to “always strive to be a better version of ego and what you currently are.” There’s it, yet that seems to be far too much to ask to the point where they get aggressively combative at…
/r/PurplePillDebate30/08/22 08:49 PM
3

Who says it needs to be a big social circle? A small group of close friends is all you need. People you met though them can be people you are friendly with with being super close friends. It’s about building a social network naturally. There’s also no hard rule on how long it has to take. I’m not here to coddle out hold anyone’s hand. Especially when it’s always the same thing with the men in here. Absolute refusal to acknowledge there’s anything they can do for themselves to make their life and…
/r/PurplePillDebate30/08/22 08:24 PM
9

Introverted =/= antisocial. Introverts actually DO like being social and being around people. They just needs quiet alone time to recharge. Where extroverts recharge by being social. What a lot of people done realize (our maybe refuse to accept) is that what they are describing isn’t being an introvert. It’s having an anxiety disorder. I’m fucking awful in social situations as a whole. I’ve just learned what kind of situations I thrive in and can feel comfortable in. I can only speak for myself.…
/r/PurplePillDebate30/08/22 08:01 PM
32

I stopped reading when they claimed it’s “soo hard to meet new people once you reach the age of 25”. Good lord I am just baffled how anybody can believe that. As if nobody ever has to move out of state for any reason after the age of 25. Do they think people that do this just live an awful and lonely life forever? I moved to the other side of the county at the age of 28. I knew exactly ONE person. Every friend I currently have I made in my 30’s. Most of them in the last few years (I’m almost 40)…
/r/PurplePillDebate30/08/22 07:22 PM
3

Lots of people talk with the hands. That’s not anything. You’ll have to be more specific with what you mean by “neurotic humor”. I’ll start not saying I’ve never been diagnosed with autism. But the odds is me being on the spectrum are high. Like 5 or 6 times higher than the average person. I used to have a very dark and snarky sense of humor. It helps me mask, to put in an air of hyper confidence, while keeping people at a distance so they couldn’t see the mask. Is it possible you’re doing the s…
/r/PurplePillDebate10/08/22 11:08 AM
1

Good job missing the point by thinking that equates to being gay, and making a racist comment to really slam your lack of understanding home.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/08/22 10:55 PM
1

Sorry is been 4 days, bare with me on mistaking the fetish in question. But my line still stands, replace the fetish and it still applies. Then why are you regularly making posts about why you hate yourself because of your fetish? Why exactly have you convinced yourself is unhealthy? What are your valid reasons? Now let’s also be clear here when we use the word fetish. Too many people conflate “kink” and a true, psychologically diagnosable fetish. Is it possible for you to be attracted to women …
/r/PurplePillDebate01/08/22 05:04 PM
1

Did you honestly just compare a foot fetish to pedophilia?! What the HELL is wrong with you. I hope to god you don’t actually think that’s in any way a valid comparison and are just arguing in bad faith. Yes let’s compare a foot fetish to something that has been measurably, repeatedly proven to be extremely psychologically damaging to children who were literally raped, that will carry trauma that will impact them for the rest of their lives. How about you never ever use that as a fucking argumen…
/r/PurplePillDebate01/08/22 04:34 PM
4

Yeah you’re so mentally screwed up in the head and you justify it by convincing yourself everything thinks the way you do. Hate to break it to you, they don’t. Most people would be absolutely horrified by what you just said. You talk big in here. But we both know you would never ever say what you just said in public.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/07/22 11:07 PM
3

That’s a really grey area honestly. Like I knew I was into this stuff before I even knew their was a name for it. Before I even knew what it was I was feeling when anything remotely similar hit my brain. Porn can definitely distort it though. A lot of people think porn is indicative of how it works in real life, and that’s how people get hurt. It how people get accused of assault. It’s how people get accused of rape. Some of these kinks people are would be a literal crime without consent. Which …
/r/PurplePillDebate28/07/22 10:53 PM
2

Mostly it’s just part of the kink. The feeling of “owning” or “being owned” in a contractual form for example is 100% unenforceable. It’s against the law to literally own someone. In some cases contracts are there because it’s a literal professional that someone paid to do this thing to them. That way they can’t be accused of assault and battery after the fact when someone explicitly asked them to beat the shit out of them with a paddle the size of a boat oar.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/07/22 10:47 PM
10

This is sounding an awful lot like rape culture and rape apologist rhetoric. “She really wanted it, I could see it in her eyes even though she never said yes to anything I did.” Your over confidence is how people develop trauma. Just saying. I shudder to think how many people you’ve emotional damaged because you can’t just so the adult thing and talk like an emotionally well balanced person.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/07/22 10:42 PM
14

No, no they can’t. Anyone who thinks they don’t need to have a discussion about what’s going to happen during a session is a problem and has absolutely no business partaking in any such activity. I means they have zero consideration for not just the physical well being of the other person, but none for the mental and emotional well being either. The core tenant of kink is “safe, sane, and consensual”. You can’t be any of those things if you can’t openly and properly communicate with someone else…
/r/PurplePillDebate28/07/22 09:24 PM
11

I’m 39. I wasn’t just into these sorts of things. I was part of the kink community in my city. It wasn’t just a “behind closed doors” with just my partner. It was a full on lifestyle and social circles with like minded friends. I went to public social meet ups, I went to parties held at private residences, I was involved in tutorial demos and discussion groups. Underground BDSM clubs? They’re real and I’ve been to a few, and know of even more. I’ve seen and been involved in some pretty wild thin…
/r/PurplePillDebate28/07/22 07:51 PM
1

Sounds to me a lot like what I already said someone filling in the blanks and reading their own made up story of a total stranger as absolute fact. Both of you need to learn to distinguish what you think you know with what you actually know to be objective fact.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/07/22 02:02 AM
1

And they makes her qualified to officially diagnose people how exactly?
/r/PurplePillDebate28/07/22 01:59 AM
4

I know the clinical definition. My point is your limited exposure to total strangers and then making up things in your head about their sex life isn’t an actual diagnoses
/r/PurplePillDebate27/07/22 07:31 PM
5

Gonna call BS here. You filling in the blanks about random strangers sex life based on working in a shoe store does not make a medical diagnoses
/r/PurplePillDebate27/07/22 07:29 PM
6

True but it’s pretty clear that OP is using “fetish” in the colloquial. Not the literal psychological definition. Most people don’t have a literal, diagnosed fetish. Looking at OP’s post history, it looks like he’s got some self-hate issues around HIS kink/fetish and is projecting his issues into all of society.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/07/22 07:23 PM
0

In a sense yeah it definitely is. A strong sense of self and personal identity, but flexible. As long as it’s not stemming from deliberately walling yourself in to keep everyone at a distance I suppose. The human mind really is just tangled, overlapping mess isn’t it?
/r/PurplePillDebate27/07/22 12:23 AM
0

They focus on building a future they want for themselves by having a plan on taking steps in the present. As opposed to constantly dwelling on their past. They have a strong sense of self. They are less likely to give into peer pressure, social influence, or groupthink. They have healthy personal boundaries. They don't let people trample over them, while making sure not to impose their own ideals onto others while doing so. They are open to reconsidering and reevaluating their own beliefs and id…
/r/PurplePillDebate26/07/22 10:21 PM
5

Emotional strength, yay. No that does not mean bottling up emotions and repressing everything. We as a society has a real unhealthy idea of what being emotionally strong means and is usually the exact opposite of it.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/07/22 09:48 PM
-1

This is what I’ve been saying over and over. Yeah dating is hard, it’s frustrating, online dating can be horrifically demoralizing for men in particular. HOW…..EVER. A lot of men on here are actively making it harder on themselves. Many refuse to accept their autonomy. When told that there’s a dozen small things they can do to improve their odds, they get indignant and argumentative. Refusing to make even the smallest of effort towards self-improvement. They have endless justifications. Chief am…
/r/PurplePillDebate26/07/22 02:24 PM
1

Nope, even by literal definition it doesn’t constitute as a preference. A preference indicates a greater liking of one thing over another. A flat out dislike of something is not a preference. The very word means you like both possibilities, but like one of them more.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/07/22 10:25 PM
1

No they are trying to justify judgmental, moral assumptions about another person behind “preferences”. Sorry, but I don’t let people hide their phobic ideals behind words like “preference” and “boundaries”.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/07/22 08:24 PM
2

Yeah you may want to actually educate yourself past cliche and outdated stereotypes when it comes to the LGBTQ community. Because your comments are absolutely filled with them. You talk like your only exposure to any of them is from television and conservatives news sources. Also maybe don’t conflate your personal views on non heterosexual people with “our culture”. Your little dot of existence doesn’t extend to the whole of this country.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/07/22 07:56 PM
1

I need be as baselessly stereotypical and discriminatory as you like. Just own it instead of trying to hide it and take your criticism is all I say. I could actually respect someone for that. At least they are self-aware enough to realize it’s their own prejudice that’s the reason for it.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/07/22 10:34 PM
1

Phobia, prejudice, judgement. Isn’t it kind is splitting hairs on every term to use? It’s all based on false and harmful stereotypes and insecurity.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/07/22 10:32 PM
2

Again no, gay men and gay sex isn’t feminine. It’s the exact opposite. It’s two men having sex, the entire point is that there’s no women involved, there’s nothing inherently feminine about it. Your hetero view point is corrupting your own perception and you can’t even see it. Because you can’t seem to grasp the concept of sex what didn’t income and man and a woman. So you’re imposing the female role into it. I’m gay. When someone stupidly asks “which one is the man in the relationship?” Ya know…
/r/PurplePillDebate22/07/22 10:27 PM
1

Which is the point I’m getting at. That anyone making sweeping, stereotypical blanket statements about bi people then trying to claim it’s a preference isn’t in the right. It’s not different than making generalizations about any group of people. Especially ones based on harmful (and false) stereotypes. If anyone said something like “I wouldn’t date a black person because they are probably a drug dealer” they would justifiably get called a racist. Yet when someone says “I would never date a bi pe…
/r/PurplePillDebate22/07/22 09:12 PM
1

Uhh you’re on a debate sub. The whole point is to justify your stance. So far you’ve done…not much to solidify your take on it beyond “saying a bi person makes me feel insecure”.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/07/22 08:00 PM
1

If I don’t think it will work I’ll have a concluding w reason as to why. Not just based on a knee jerk bias. Knowing why you think what you think. Having a deeper understanding of you is called being well-minded and self-aware. It’s something they entirely I healthy people do. And emotionally healthy people tend to be in more stable and longer lasting relationships. Because they know what they actually want.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/07/22 07:52 PM
1

No you have control over how you view things. It’s pretty clear you’ve given little more than a surface level analysis of why you feel the way you do on the matter. It’s not that you don’t want to date X person who happened to be bi, that makes it biohobic. It’s that you can’t give a reason that is measurable and consistent across ALL bi people that would negatively affect you. Saying “I’m not attracted to bi people” is a false statement. Bi people come on all shapes, sizes, personalities, and b…
/r/PurplePillDebate22/07/22 07:40 PM
1

Believe it or not, gay people can be homophobic. Bi people can be biphobic. Trans people can be transphobic. Given that, having a gay brother, or a bi friends don’t make you immune to ingrained and internalized phobias towards those groups as a whole. If your brother saw this discussion, would be be proud of you for what you’re saying? Can you honestly feel he would take NO issue with anything you just said? Would be approvingly nod his head as you say you don’t support the community he’s a part…
/r/PurplePillDebate22/07/22 07:33 PM
1

Keep telling yourself that to justify your own prejudice. Support isn’t shrinking. Just that the community doesn’t need fair weather lip service anymore, especially not from people that are only supportive so long it doesn’t inconvenience them. In this case the label was applied due to thinks you openly and willingly endorse. It’s a direct result of your own words. Don’t like the label? Don’t be what the label describes. It’s a hell of a lot easier than trying to win some argument to deny the de…
/r/PurplePillDebate22/07/22 07:26 PM
0

Oh I’m sorry? Am I supposed to coddle the feels of someone who doubles down and digs their heels in when if bright to their attention that they are endorsing and promoting harmful stereotypes? Yeah no, not happening. You’re kind of support isn’t support. The kind that has to refute and argue every little point about an every group of peoples lives experiences. Being supportive isn’t a debate in philosophy. It’s actually listening and accepting that these ARE what we have to deal with every singl…
/r/PurplePillDebate22/07/22 06:38 PM
0

I’m not going to give you sympathy because your blatant biases, assumptions, and stereotypes are being called as such. The fact that you take it as a slur shows how off base you are and how hyper sensitive you are to the word. The fact that you would even attempt to equate it to calling a black oppression the n word, a gay person a f*g, or a trans person a tra**y is kind of disgusting.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/07/22 06:22 PM
3

Claiming that gay men are inherently effeminate or somehow are less of a man because they are gay is homophobic (and false). You really can’t dig yourself out of this hole. The fact that you’re equating being gay to wearing a dress. Guess what? Most gay men don’t wear dresses. Gay does not equate to femininity.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/07/22 05:39 PM
0

But aren’t you just proving my point in this example? That the fact that one of them was bi was a non-factor and thus we shouldn’t go jumping to conclusions about someone’s character based on them being bi?
/r/PurplePillDebate22/07/22 05:16 PM
4

“I’m homophobic and have a really unhealthy view on masculinity” is all I see from that statement. Wow.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/07/22 05:12 PM
1

Well that’s what happens when people make baseless and bias assertions about bi people.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/07/22 05:11 PM
2

I’m going to ignore the entire rambling bad faith fake equivalencies. If you truly cannot understand where that line is, you need to take a long hard look at how you view sexuality. You suggesting that you’re not sexually compatible with someone just because they are bi is also biphobic. Any time you make an assumption about someone’s morals, values, life choices, personality, etc. based on nothing but their sexuality, that’s phobic, period. So unless you can come up with a measurable example of…
/r/PurplePillDebate22/07/22 05:05 PM
2

Yes it is! That’s exactly what it is! That’s blatant insecurity! That’s making assumptions about someone else based on their sexuality. Thinking someone won’t be satisfied with you because they are bi, as if they somehow are incapable of being fulfilled by a single person is absolutely biphobic.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/07/22 04:41 PM
2

This is ironic coming from a person who’s yet to make even a single salient argument in their favor other than “because I don’t wanna”. You need to self-reflect on why you think and feel this way instead of just accepting it without thinking.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/07/22 04:36 PM
2

That’s not what homophobic means. You may want to educate yourself on the parlance. And no you’re not a biphobe because you didn’t date her. You’re a biphobe if the only reason you wouldn’t date here is because she was bi.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/07/22 04:33 PM
1

Because your friendship has nothing to do with their sexuality. Telling someone “we’re really good friends and I think you’re great. But I would never date you because you’re bi” isn’t the affirmation you think it is.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/07/22 04:23 PM
1

Are you honestly pulling the “I’m not racist, I have a black friend!” Argument? Honestly?
/r/PurplePillDebate22/07/22 04:12 PM
2

Then just own your biohobia, take your lumps and move on. It’s the people who do mental backflips to justify their baseless biases that I have a problem with.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/07/22 04:04 PM
3

I’m not trying to change your stance. I don’t Debate to change the other persons mind. I debate so that 3rd parties who read this see how baseless your irrational biphobia actually is. Honestly it would be so much easier if people like you would just own it instead of doing mental gymnastics to make yourself feel like you’re in the moral right about it. Just say “I have personal issues regarding bisexuality” and accept your reasons are based entirely on things that only exist in your own head.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/07/22 04:02 PM
3

I’m not bi. I don’t have to hide anything. It’s called a thought experiment. A way to actually understand why you’re thinking the way you do. I’m not condoning lying to a partner.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/07/22 03:44 PM
2

How about we keep the discussion in good faith and actually talk about things people can actually change hm? Besides last I checked nobody can tell how big your dick is when fully clothed. So let’s not make up some context that nobody is taking about.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/07/22 03:41 PM
3

If the reason is based on blatantly false and potentially harmful stereotypes and prejudices, it’s not respectful. The entire argument and excuses break down if the person just ya know….doesn’t tell you they are bi. Then you go on about dating them and maybe start a great long term relationship. If a problem isn’t a problem unless you know it exists guess what? It’s not actually a problem and it’s all just in your own head.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/07/22 03:36 PM
2

Until the average man is spending $100 every 6 weeks on their hair and sitting in front of a mirror for 2 hours doing makeup, hair, and deciding on an outfit before a date I’ll have to disagree. I was a pretty average looking “guy”. I didn’t put in even half the effort in myself than I do now and never had much difficulty getting a date.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/07/22 03:31 PM
3

A woman who makes these same claims is just as wrong as a man who does. It’s a silly argument to make because I never suggested it’s fine the other way around. Sorry to burst your bubble but I’m not someone who follows the “gender wars” narrative this sub lines to push. So I’ll reiterate; if you or ANYONE thinks bring bisexual is some lifestyle choice or an indicator of someone’s morality or values. They are blatantly wrong.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/07/22 02:57 PM
0

Pretty sure most men don’t spend hundreds of dollars on makeup. Spend dozens and dozens of hours learning makeup techniques. Spend hours in front of a mirror on their makeup before a date. Pretty sure men don’t go to a hair stylist every 6-8 weeks to keep it looking good. This includes a cut and probably coloring. This also costs more than a most men spend getting their hair cut. A quick, basic haircut for a woman is around $30. A basic coloring is about $60. Clothing may be equitable depending …
/r/PurplePillDebate22/07/22 02:33 PM
2

If your personal thing is prejudicial then you’re just in the wrong. You already showed a blatant bias in that comment. You are suggesting that bisexuality is a lifestyle? It’s not. It’s a sexuality which means you’re entire view on bisexuality is inherently incorrect. Just because someone is bi does NOT automatically mean they are more promiscuous. You are also suggesting bisexuality is someone attached to values or morals. Which is also incorrect. Your excuses (not preferences) have nothing to…
/r/PurplePillDebate22/07/22 02:07 PM
2

Nah, see because you can’t justify why someone being bi is a dealbreaker without making things up about them or just coming across as biphobic. So go on, explain to the class why it’s a dealbreaker for you.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/07/22 01:37 PM
1

Ha…..haha….hahahaha. Take it from a trans woman, no they aren’t. Not by a long shot. A comment like this can only come from someone who is truly ignorant of what the average women does as far as beauty standards compared to men.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/07/22 01:24 PM
2

Again, not a preference if it’s rooted in phobic and untrue preconceptions. So yeah if you’re trying to hide being biphobic behind calling it a preference, yes you do need to justify it. Otherwise you’re just prejudice.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/07/22 01:20 PM
4

I just doing let people hide their prejudice behind words like “preference” and “boundary”. I’ve said it before, saying “I prefer brunettes” doesn’t mean I’ll never date a blonde. It also doesn’t mean I think all blondes are stupid or shallow. That’s the difference between a preference and a judgement.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/07/22 01:00 PM
20

Not preference, judgement. Call it what it is. When someone make a baseless assumption that a person is “less masculine” or “more likely to cheat” based on sexuality it’s a judgement. So yeah it’s phobic.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/07/22 10:35 AM
2

I haven’t been in a strictly monogamous relationship in over a decade. 3 poly relationships in that time. Though I’m not particularly interested in a swingers lifestyle. No-strings sex isn’t really appealing to me these days. I know they I can’t keep it that way. Eventually I could catch “the feels”. As I have no real interest in having sex with someone I wouldn’t want to hang out with and get to know.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/07/22 06:33 PM
0

I’ve dated and had sex with women who were taller than me, shorter than me, with brown/black/blonde hair, who weighed more than me, who weighed less than me, who made significantly more money than me, significantly less money than me. So no I can’t actually say there’s any one specific physical attribute. See I take people as a whole. Their are plenty of people I just don’t find attractive, but I can’t point to any one consistent feature. If you’re talking more then physical. I’m not attracted t…
/r/PurplePillDebate20/07/22 04:45 PM
1

Did you read my comment? A preference is liking one thing over another. Not hating one thing and rejecting sneaking that resembles it. Preferring a brunette doesn’t mean I’ll never date a blonde.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/07/22 04:11 PM
0

Uhh I don’t give a damn if someone is shorter than me. Also “preference” implies you are fine with BOTH proposed scenarios or outcomes. Saying I prefer cake over pie doesn’t mean I’ll never eat pie and find it disgusting. Also how exactly can you have a preference over something if your never told about it? It has zero measurable impact. The difference exists nowhere but in your own mind between someone who’s had 3 sexual partners and someone who’s had 15. That’s why it’s a judgement, you are im…
/r/PurplePillDebate20/07/22 03:25 PM
-2

Ah yet another person who hides behind the word “preference” to pass judgement on others.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/07/22 03:05 PM
22

I think guys don’t really understand this. It’s very easy to come up with head canon excuses to why you get ghosted. The reality of it is women get bombarded with messages. They could literally be trying to hold a conversation with a woman while 6 other guys are trying to do the same thing at the exact same time. If you aren’t the most interesting of them all, there’s not much you can do about it. The reality is guys don’t usually get ghosted because it’s anything they did or said or didn’t do o…
/r/PurplePillDebate19/07/22 07:08 PM
3

I think anyone with the mentality doesn’t really understand how traumas and mental disorders work honestly. Anyone who’s gone through it knows there’s no point where it’s over. There’s no curing it. You can only manage it. Minimizing its frequency and impact on your life and the lives of those around you. That’s what I look at. Not what they have, but weather out not they are managing it properly. I learned that the hard way dating a girl diagnosed with BPD and DID for 4 years. Which was 2 years…
/r/PurplePillDebate18/07/22 08:29 PM
2

Untreated and unmanaged mental disorders of THE biggest of red flags. This is not a gendered thing. It’s off the utmost importance across the board. I’ve worked very very hard on myself over the last 3 years. I’m happier, more confident, and comfortable in my own skin than I’ve ever been in my entire life. This has had a huge effect on wanting to actually take care of body. I wanted the outside to match the inside. Both of these in turn have changed the way people interact with me. I get more fr…
/r/PurplePillDebate18/07/22 08:23 PM
10

Yeah most of these are just judgement on someone’s physical appearance or personality/interests. A few are legitimate turn offs. But most of these are not “red flags”. They are an incompatibility at best. Many women would pass these filters because most of them are oddly specific.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/07/22 08:04 PM
1

Confidence is not seeking the approval and validation of others. It requires being truly comfortable with who you are. Bitter and highly negative people aren’t comfortable with themselves. Boundaries are things your wont allow other people to do TO you. Being controlling is unilaterally telling someone else what they aren’t allowed to do at all.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/07/22 06:17 PM
16

And men in here complain that most women have a skewed view on what the average guy looks like. At some point TRP men needs to just come to terms with measurable reality. Also if they think traditionally attractive women and plus sized women are playing on the same level, then they are so far down the ladder that it only looks like they are at the same level.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/07/22 05:39 PM
2

Agreed. Also a personality is something we ourselves craft and create for ourselves. It’s something that on some level we chose to be. So to get rejected for that is so much worse. I can accept someone not being physically attracted to me. I don’t think I’m ugly, so it just means I’m not their type.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/07/22 04:09 PM
3

Self improvement for the sole purpose of validation and approval of others isn’t self-improvement.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/07/22 04:03 PM
3

I’m not sure I would use two subs filled with self-serving people with narcissistic tendencies as a metric for genuine self-improvement.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/07/22 03:59 PM
4

I noticed that too. Many people on here are terrified of the idea of self-improvement. My theory is that it’s because it means acknowledging you do have a level of control and agency around your own situation . It forces one to script maybe they aren’t doing everything you can to make things better for themselves. So much of the rhetoric on here is rooted in this ideal that nothing they do matters and it’s all pointless.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/07/22 05:17 AM
1

It’s kind of the only reason I’m here. Like I have literally lived both sides of this. Their are valid points people make here, but they are SO sensationalized and over dramatic by some people on here
/r/PurplePillDebate17/07/22 02:08 AM
2

At this point it’s just entertainment. He thinks he’s the student here when he’s the lesson, it cute.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/07/22 02:03 AM
2

I’m going to take that as “all my parroted talking points have hit a dead end, me many attempts to deflect so I don’t have to address points brought up have failed. Trying to gaslight you but saying you’re lying isn’t working. So not I’m just going to stick my fingers in my ears.”
/r/PurplePillDebate17/07/22 12:23 AM
1

No I’m sure everyone is as confused as I am about you non-specific claim. Again if you’re calling me a liar because no woman I’ve ever been with has cared how many people I’ve slept with, that’s not a lie. The fact that you can’t seem to accept that is no one else’s problem but your own.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/07/22 12:20 AM
2

You keep saying liar without coming right out and saying want and explaining exactly why it’s a lie. At this point I don’t even think you even know what “lie” you’re talking about. Weather or not you believe me is irrelevant. It’s not a lie most because you can’t accept it.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/07/22 11:54 PM
1

Oh you mean “most women don’t care about how many people you’ve had sex with” line. Guess what? Based on MY life experiences that’s 100% true. Something isn’t a lie just because it contradicts your personal life experiences. If you can make broad statements based on personal experiences so can I. Unless you just want to admit you’re being a hypocrite.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/07/22 10:31 PM
1

Where did I lie exactly?
/r/PurplePillDebate16/07/22 07:54 PM
1

No you didn’t. My experiences contradicting yours don’t make mine any less real.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/07/22 06:50 PM
2

Honest discussion? Everything I’ve said so far is 100% truthful. You made assumptions based on nothing but things you made up in your head about me. Which was one of the main points I was making in the first place. That your thing is binary extremes, no nuance, no gradient. Like I said that’s how children think. Issues? I’ve been successfully dealing with those for years now. I have friends I can talk with, a girlfriend of 2 1/2 years, a therapist I see monthly. I took ownership of my negativity…
/r/PurplePillDebate16/07/22 06:33 PM
0

What’s that? You refuse to acknowledge other orioles life experience directly contradicts yours? Sorry but this is what I was getting at. Your (and my) personal line experience isn’t everyone else’s. Or anyone else for that matter. Neither of us are wrong with talking about OUR lives. But that doesn’t make it right to assume everyone has our experiences. Life just isn’t that simple, and I lord of people on this sub have a real hard time accepting that. It would force them to acknowledge “it’s ju…
/r/PurplePillDebate16/07/22 03:22 PM
2

Nope I don’t claim to know what women think. But I claim to know what men think. I mean, I lived as one for the first 36 years of my life. I’m also pushing 40, meaning I probably have more experience dating women as a “man” than most men on here. Ya know how many women I dated or had casual flings with that cared how many sexual partners I’ve had? ZERO. Most guys I know will say the same. It’s how I can call bullshit. I’ve both been there and done that. So spare me the dramatic rhetoric. Your li…
/r/PurplePillDebate16/07/22 05:20 AM
2

It is bullshit. You’re coming I mean. You’re not talking about any specific life experiences here. You went straight into rhetoric. Nebulous groups of women saying nebulous things. Even if it if your reality, it’s not objective reality. Most people alone don’t have your experiences, because they aren’t you. You think a sub like this is proof? It’s confirmation bias. Their are SO many different experiences and lives lived. To assume the majority of them are like yours sounds very sheltered. Most …
/r/PurplePillDebate16/07/22 04:04 AM
1

Whoosh. I said he’s acting as is 99% is the female population fall into these extremes. Again I reiterate, they do not. Most fall is far more normal ranges between. Some of the men on here are so removed from reality that they honestly believe that most women have a different sexual partner every week? Like seriously?
/r/PurplePillDebate16/07/22 01:51 AM
3

He explicitly states this are “his only options” as if 99% of the vendor population falls into either extreme
/r/PurplePillDebate16/07/22 01:38 AM
7

And fails to acknowledge most women fall somewhere between the two. I swear binary mentality is a poison no matter the topic of discussion.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/07/22 12:30 AM
1

Oh is that what we’re talking about? Thing you can’t see? I thought were we talking about how unattractive a certain group of people are based on how the look fully clothed. You just want to be bitter and angry at people. I can’t imagine hot unhappy you must be. While I’m happier than I’ve ever been in my life and actually like who I am. My advice, stop trying to drag people who are actually happy down into your misery. Your better off actually making your life better then fixating on what total…
/r/PurplePillDebate15/07/22 02:37 PM
1

Oh sweetie. I have pictures of myself all through my post history, but but ask means keep trying to attack my self-image like I’m some vapid little girl seeking the approval of men. Funny, I don’t see any pictures of you in your post history. I see a lot is religious fanaticism, but no pictures. I guess you just don’t have the confidence I do.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/07/22 01:41 PM
1

Hmmm something sounds personally angry towards people living a life they makes them happy. Maybe the whole focus on physical appearance is a deflection? Projecting a little bit maybe? Some sexual repression perhaps? Seriously why are you so angry about people doing something that has no effect on you. Since you clearly would never ever consider actually interacting with anyone like me and get all your information from random articles and thumbnail pictures. Like honestly, at least try to be an i…
/r/PurplePillDebate15/07/22 12:49 PM
1

It’s really not. People with ignorant hot take like this forget that poly means BOTH partners can have other partners. Not just to women. My girlfriends husband has 2 partners other than her. If the extent of your knowledge about poly people is a single article about a grand total of 5 individuals and came to the conclusion 90% of all poly people are “hideous” then you just being willfully ignorant. You’re gonna to have to accept someone like me who’s been in poly relationships for the last deca…
/r/PurplePillDebate14/07/22 09:45 PM
4

It’s how I do it. Granted I don’t exactly have a choice. It’s pretty obvious in trans when I speak. But it guarantees I’ll know someone is interested in who I am and not what I’m, well I don’t want to say pretending to be, but I’m not sure of a better word for it.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/07/22 03:47 PM
6

Hell even with women. Known of more than a few women who have the attitude that bi women are not likely to cheat. The irony is there’s women are where bi themselves or 100% gay. Zero self-awareness.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/07/22 02:43 PM
8

I can definitely see this. My own experiences back this up in a round about way. I went from “straight male” to gay trans woman. By the numbers my dating pool shrank significantly, I’m also poly so it’s even smaller due to that. But my actual dating prospects went up. Like WAY up. I still can’t quite wrap my head around it. But my point is a larger dating pool doesn’t automatically translate to getting more dates or more sex. Sometimes it better to be a medium fish in a small pond.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/07/22 02:41 PM
4

This is such an ignorant and wildly inaccurate take. Sincerely, someone who’s been in 3 poly relationships over the last decade.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/07/22 01:17 AM
1

Because by and large men just don’t listen to advice women give. They scoff and it and roll their eyes and dismiss it.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/07/22 02:56 PM
2

Men’s reaction to getting advice suggests the opposite. The vast majority of the times I see men get real, actionable advice they get indignant. They get openly offended and defensive over the very idea that there’s something they could actually be doing to improve themselves and the chances of getting dates. These men would rather act as if there’s absolutely nothing they can do, that they are entirely powerless and blame everyone and everything else for their lot in life that (in their mind) t…
/r/PurplePillDebate12/07/22 02:47 PM
1

The chances of getting into a car accident are about 77%. Guess you should stop driving all together huh?
/r/PurplePillDebate11/07/22 08:34 PM
0

It’s only 40% is you get married before the age of 25. So hire old are you exactly?
/r/PurplePillDebate11/07/22 08:21 PM
1

Half of what you just said is incomprehensible gibberish. So I guess I’ll reply to what actually made sense. Again your vote is inherently flawed if your stance is “what do I have to gain from this?” That’s a self-centered and arrogant position to take. Suggesting you don’t access view marriage as a personal declaration of commitment between two people. But as a business transaction. Which to be blunt, come across as emotionally stunted. No divorce isn’t caused my marriage. Divorce is caused by …
/r/PurplePillDebate11/07/22 08:18 PM
0

I mean if your think the risk isn’t worth the gain you do you. But don’t act like people don’t have control of dramatically mitigating the chances of getting a divorce by just being smart about their life choices and employing some common sense. Fact is most people who get married don’t dwell on “what is we divorce?” I would argue anyone who does probably has an anxiety disorder. An untreated mental disorder can end a relationship very very easily. Especially if the person is convinced their anx…
/r/PurplePillDebate11/07/22 08:04 PM
0

It world view is horribly narrow and based on very flawed logic. You clearly have zero understanding of how the scientific process works. You based your view on the flawed assumption that your personal experiences are how it is everywhere or are somehow the norm. It’s not. Fact is your personal life experience and the experiences of everyone you’ve ever know is a fraction of a percentage of the whole. It means absolutely nothing to anyone else but you and those directly related to your life. “Ma…
/r/PurplePillDebate11/07/22 07:48 PM
1

Haha sure, that’s called clinical paranoia. Sorry but unless you can prove manipulation of data in these exact studies, it doesn’t exist anywhere but in your own head. Occam’s razor suggests the more likely answer is you just can’t accept anything that contradicts the distorted world view you’ve built up for yourself. Your and your friends personal experiences are more a large enough sample. It also ignores things like local cultural influences and the socioeconomic climate of where you live and…
/r/PurplePillDebate11/07/22 07:33 PM
1

Sorry but “taking a look around” doesn’t make your limited view in any way as valid as actual statistical data and research. What you’re doing is called an anecdotal argument.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/07/22 07:27 PM
3

So many men on here have this idea that they shouldn’t ever have to be vulnerable in a relationship. Which is exactly why they’ll never be in a healthy one. Trust issues.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/07/22 07:25 PM
1

“I don’t like your points that are backed up by actual studies and statistics so I’m gonna be defensive, pointlessly argumentative, and just tell you you’re wrong because I say so!” That’s you, that’s how you sound.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/07/22 07:23 PM
2

Which to me is basically just someone saying “I don’t want to date or be in a relationship.” You can’t have actual intimacy or closeness without vulnerability.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/07/22 06:21 PM
1

Which is an inherently flawed mentality that is absolutely prevalent in this sub. This adversarial view on any interactions is so so wrong headed. I can’t even begin to comprehend how emotionally requested someone has to be to effectively treat someone you want to date/sleep with/etc as an enemy.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/07/22 04:39 PM
2

I don’t think I’ve once ever seen this happen on accident, so it may be kind of hard to draw a practical comparison. Where there are women, their will be men if it’s not explicitly an outing for women. Where women congregate, men will eventually follow. Given that straight women will go to lesbian bars to avoid having to deal with men in that sort of environment is a testament to that.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/07/22 02:19 PM
2

Heh it helps no doubt. But yeah that’s definitely more to it. There’s so many additional factors that don’t necessarily apply to most people. (like a life long disassociation disorder). But I definitely don’t miss the high sex drive.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/07/22 02:14 AM
2

I think it increased my emotional intelligence. I have more ability for empathy, I’m more able to interact with people I find attractive without feeling like I need to perform, without such an intense fear of rejection. Like I’m more able to understand the “let’s just be friends” thing. Because I’m more more able to accept a polite rejection and still want to hang out and be around that person. The downside is I’m more prone to emotional reactions. Things I could have easily brushed off hurt mor…
/r/PurplePillDebate06/07/22 01:09 AM
5

Don’t rush into marriage and having kids and that won’t happen. Does this guarantee a relationship will last a lifetime? No, things can always happen. But it certainly helps. SO many cultures pressure people who are barely out of college to get married and have children as soon as humanly possible. It’s just not conducive to actually building a happy and stable life.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/07/22 07:15 PM
2

I’m no expert. But it’s effectively the same thing but pertaining to a different kind of information, IE emotions and feelings. It’s about how well you understand and process them. Not just in yourself, but others. Empathy, self-awareness, and desire for rational and incremental self-improvement are all signs of high EQ. Three things that, to be blunt, are in short order in this sub.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/07/22 06:10 PM
3

You’re take is, not exactly flawed but misleading. What you’re talking about is emotional intelligence, not IQ, though they are closely linked to each other. It’s ironic you would mention psychopaths because they don’t have emotional intelligence. Their traits are actively counter to it. Faking emotional intelligence isn’t the same as actually having it. A psychopath can fake it….for a time. But they can’t let people in or the facade gets noticed. Basically, people with high emotional intelligen…
/r/PurplePillDebate05/07/22 05:35 PM
10

I can confirm this in the opposite direction (trans woman). When I started hormone therapy my sex drive plummeted within the first month. I’m talking like a 90% drop in sex drive. I also find it very difficult to get myself in any sexual mood. Someone else usually has to push the right buttons to get me going. If I’m being honest, not having the constant snarling beast that is a testosterone fueled sex drive was a relief. It’s much easier for me to maintain a comfortable, mellow clam as my defau…
/r/PurplePillDebate05/07/22 01:07 PM
11

Then you’re already halfway there. Honestly go out, be social, meet people through IRL means. You’ll find that many people here base their entire opinion on this from either a single relationship that ended in divorce, or from people who only communicate with the opposite sex via dating apps and text communication.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/07/22 08:00 PM
1

I kind of wonder if it’s more a generational thing. The older generation has, and still do have, this weird obsession with getting married and having kids very very early. For reference, both my parents, grandparents, and several aunts and uncles were married and had multiple children by the time they were in their early 20’s. This is also very common among most of my friends parents, aunts, uncles, and grand parents as well. They never gave themselves time to figure things out. They jumped righ…
/r/PurplePillDebate26/06/22 12:56 PM
4

To an extent yes. There’s absolutely personal requirements that must be met for me to feel a good relationship is even possible. But none of them include height, income, or any of that other nonsense this sub absolutely loves to sensationalize. Most of mine are just some kind of overlap of hobbies and interests and enough intelligence to hold an interesting conversation. I don’t have some giant list because then you box yourself in, you may deny yourself someone who could be amazing for you. Peo…
/r/PurplePillDebate24/06/22 10:42 PM
21

I don’t agree with the “lower standards” sentiment. But I think “have realistic standards” should be stressed far more in the dating sphere. Seems people would rather chase their perfect partner that doesn’t exist than accept someone in front of them who has flaws but could still make them very happy and content. I do think some ingrained cultural shallowness plays a part in this. Like instant erection or instant wet panties when seeing someone should not be the baseline measurement for physical…
/r/PurplePillDebate18/06/22 06:22 PM
3

Not really no. Well not to get your foot in the door at any rate. But it will certainly hurt them in the long run if they don’t have these things. It’s not all that different for attractive women who lack personality. Eventually people tire of people who never developed an interesting personality or ability to hold a conversation.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/06/22 06:01 PM
17

I’m kind of in between on that. I don’t believe in withholding sex as some kind of bargaining chip. But I also don’t believe in rushing into sex to show someone you’re really interested. I’m off the mind if/when two people want to have sex with each other, just fucking have it. Simple, direct, honest. Sex should be enthusiastic and enjoyable to all involved.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/06/22 05:48 PM
11

That’s not really an option for most anymore though. Few families are single income anymore. Both parents tend to with full time to make ends meet these days from what I can see. A woman not working isn’t so much an option anymore as it is a luxury.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/06/22 05:28 PM
1

I only vaguely recall the study, so I can’t give a detailed statistical response. But I can find my own personal theory. Short, narrow shoulders, skinny and/or not muscular. These are features straight men usually find attractive in women. So if we use that as a basis to claim these features (with no additional context) are feminine, i.e. stands to reason straight women will typically not be attracted to feminine features. I admit my gay ass could be coloring this theory a bit too much. But I kn…
/r/PurplePillDebate15/06/22 07:58 PM
2

If I remember correctly. The same studies that show women like a wider variety of men also showed that women are more picky within the variety they like. Meaning even if they have several different types they like, they still gravitate towards well above average men of those types. Where as men tend to gravitate towards to same type of women, but aren’t as picky within that type. So that could explain it.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/06/22 07:37 PM
15

Bingo. There’s no such thing as “a real man”. There’s a wide variety of men out there just as their are a wide variety of women. There’s no single universal “real man/woman”. But women DO get to decide what kind of man they date, or even to not date men at all. Just as men can turn down any woman they aren’t interested in for whatever reason that’s important to them.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/06/22 12:40 PM
1

I’ll take this as “I don’t have a rebuttal for the argument that men create a lot of their own problems.”
/r/PurplePillDebate11/06/22 06:53 PM
3

Over half of these examples are problems with men and their behavior, not women though. Yes that poor poor husband who’s so unwilling or unable to take care of himself to the point where his wife feels more like his mother. That’s a behavioral issue on his part. If someone genuinely believes “shut up and agree with whatever she says” then they have a relationship with a total and complete lack of communication, the wife could very well think everything is perfectly fine because he can’t sit down…
/r/PurplePillDebate11/06/22 06:49 PM
3

Posting a picture on the internet is not hotwifing. There’s a giant canyon between the two.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/06/22 09:12 PM
1

Okay so that was a more thoughtful comment than I was expecting from this sub. So I'm glad I don't have to do the "gotcha" that I was setting up. So I'm going to try and actually get the same point across in a more nuanced way. I'm trans, i've had exactly one sexual partner since transitioning. Meaning the rest, from an outside perspective, was a man (me) having sex with women. So where exactly do I fit in your formula here? Do all my past partners get held against me now? Or do I get to have se…
/r/PurplePillDebate10/06/22 09:11 PM
1

So I’ve had at least a dozen sexual partners in my life. Probably more, I’ve not bothered counting for awhile. Never been married, have one kid. Based on that and what you’ve just said. What if your opinion/judgement of me? I want you to be as honest as you can without getting yourself in any trouble with the mods.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/06/22 08:15 PM
1

That’s an very long comment that amounts to nothing but yelling “I’m sexist”. You’re conflating “preference” with “judgement”. They are not the same and I’m tired of sexists hiding behind that word.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/06/22 08:07 PM
2

Yup, I won’t judge anyone who’s uncomfortable dating someone who does that. But I would ask them to explain why it makes them uncomfortable. If it was clear their was no resolution or compromise to be made. I wouldn’t hold it against anyone for not wanting to pursue anything.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/06/22 07:50 PM
4

Sure, if we just accept you get to make up terms and ignore actual reality in favor of your own personal head canon about other peoples relationships.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/06/22 07:45 PM
7

It’s not hotwifing. That requires actual sexual activity involved in the situation. Not simply some stranger admiring a picture. If your gonna use these terms while replying to someone who’s been involved in many a kink communities, maybe use them correctly? Slipper slope fallacy. Being secure enough in yourself and your relationship to where you in no way feel threatened by some guy thinking your GF is hot doesn’t mean what you’re implying it means.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/06/22 07:35 PM
2

Those are the kind of men that either A. Fetishize “purity” B. Are insecure about they ability to please a woman so want one that has zero sexual experience. C. Don’t actually care about the woman’s satisfaction, just their own. D. Are of the mind that somehow a woman that has no idea wtf they are doing in bed is better than a woman that actually knows how to do more than lay on their back. E. Hide their sexist double standards as “morality”.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/06/22 07:06 PM
33

Also this may absolutely dumbfound some people here. But their are men out there that absolutely love the fact that their are other men (and women) drooling over pictures of their partner. Kind of a “Yeah, you may beat off to a picture of her. But I’m the one who’s going to be sleeping with her tonight.” Sort of thing. OP needs to come to terms with the fact that his opinions of other peoples relationship dynamics amounts to absolutely nothing.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/06/22 05:32 PM
1

I have to respectfully disagree. I think it’s a really really bad idea to get legally and financially entangled with another human being without even knowing a think about your own sexual chemistry, let alone theirs. Sexual compatibility is vitally important for a healthy relationship.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/06/22 02:34 PM
7

It’s neither taking action nor communication. This guy is failing on both fronts. Which is impressive considering how often this sub loves to try and put absolutely every situation possible into a “one or the other” binary without any acknowledgment of nuance.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/06/22 03:39 PM
12

I know it’s cliche, but confidence is at the core. They walked into rooms like they owned the building. The approach strangers like they are old friends. There are more than comfortable chatting up entire groups of people at once. They aren’t worried about making themselves look stupid or saying something dumb. They are genuinely unconcerned if someone likes them or not. Not sure if and if that is particularly insightful. But it’s about the best I can do.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/06/22 06:48 PM
1

Helped YOU. Operative word here. Helping you is one thing. Claiming that every male is like you and had/ has the exact same issues as you is an entirely different and fallacious claim. I suppose it’s easier to just tell yourself “this is just how everyone is” instead of accepting that your experiences are individualized. It’s one thing to draw similarities from other people and their experiences. It’s an entirely other thing to project your person issues onto half the population of the planet.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/06/22 05:59 PM
1

Your honesty going to try and use a book that’s coined as “the red pill Bible” written by a guy with zero credentials as some indisputable source of knowledge. You’ve bought into a self-help guru scam my friend.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/06/22 05:32 PM
1

Everything about what you said is misguided and shows a fundamental lack of understanding regarding biochemistry and psychology. Sounds not like your are exhibiting signs of addiction and claiming all men have the same problems you do. Because I’ll be blunt, the way you’re speaking and things you’re suggesting is the exact same as what addiction support groups say.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/06/22 05:16 PM
13

This is similar to me experience as well. Almost every one of them is a shut in with social anxiety. They almost never actually go anywhere or do anything to A. Actually meet and interact with people. B. Never manage to develop their social skills. The two most successful guys I’ve ever known were shorter than me (I’m 5’7), average or slightly above average physically, but have absolutely magnetic personalities that just command attention. They had, presence. That’s really the biggest trick I’m …
/r/PurplePillDebate08/06/22 05:03 PM
1

Sounds more like repression. Or avoidant behavior due to an addictive personality
/r/PurplePillDebate08/06/22 04:46 PM
2

That’s a very sex negative view to have. Masturbation can in fact be a form of self care. But like anything, if it starts to disrupt every day responsibilities is when it becomes an issue. A guy jerking off once a day isn’t going to do anyone any harm. To suggest men are repressing something by the mere act of masturbating at all is just flat out false. In fact not masturbating out of some sense of shame or judgement is the very definition of repression. I also feel like you’re dramatically unde…
/r/PurplePillDebate08/06/22 04:37 PM
1

Yeah but if it gets cleaned up ask yourself this? Do you honestly believe you won’t be included in what I’d considered in need of cleaning? You admitted it already that you’re fine with wallowing in the filth with the very people you think needs to be swept away. Who’s to stop anyone from deciding you’re part of the problem? That’s the issue with your kind of attitude. There’s always someone with an even holier than thou attitude. You also echo the same thing every guy who can’t get a date does.…
/r/PurplePillDebate25/05/22 01:50 AM
1

How about we don’t use anecdotal evidence of a fringe of extremist as a baseline? Just like I don’t use TRP as a baseline for all men. The linen with you being okay with a race to the bottom. People successful in dating and relationships aren’t doing that. They are in the restarting eating while you are in the dumpster out in the alley fighting over a half eaten burger. They don’t care that you’re committed to self-destruction, because ultimately it doesn’t impact them in any way. You have as mu…
/r/PurplePillDebate25/05/22 12:50 AM
1

All this comment says is “I’m okay with a race to the bottom”. Other people being garbage doesn’t make it okay for you to dive into the trash with them. You’re also conflating actual sexism and assault with….. getting a date? Really?
/r/PurplePillDebate25/05/22 12:15 AM
0

You’re just cutting off your nose to spite your face with the mentality. Your giving into the “us vs them” mentality. “Why should I help the enemy? (Women)” because you’ve convinced yourself you’re in a war that doesn’t exist. You skulls do this because it directly benefits you. Make it socially unacceptable to treat women like stupid fuck toys to manipulate, and the frequency it happens drops. Right now though, it’s very very rare to see men call out men for this behavior. You can’t demand chan…
/r/PurplePillDebate24/05/22 12:44 PM
1

On top of that thinking outside the heteronormative framework can further fill in the gaps. Asexuality is a thing. Their are people out there who just have little to no interest in sex. Like they can get sexually aroused sometimes, but the thought of accessory having physical sex with another person grosses them out or are indifferent to it at best.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/05/22 12:54 PM
3

She almost instantly started dating the brother of her ex before me. Basically being a caretaker of his wheelchair bound father (which is exactly what she was doing before me.) she basically put herself in the exact same situation she was in before we met. Me? I broke up with her and came out as trans 4 months later (I wasn’t kidding when I said every person she was with was broken or abusive). But since then I’ve been working through all my shit and doing great.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/05/22 05:28 PM
2

Same here. 4 years with someone with BPD and DID. She got diagnosed with it after we were together for almost 2 years. Ironically I was going to break up with her around the 2 year mark but a bunch of things happened in both our lives that pushed me to stick around way longer than I should have. But I should mention she wasn’t abusive towards others, she was a self destructive “people pleaser”. I think another regular issue with BPD is they typically lack emotional range. Everything is either a …
/r/PurplePillDebate20/05/22 12:40 PM
1

No I’m saying is someone WANTS to and has the means to get cosmetic surgery, go for it, more power to them. Zero judgement from me. Whatever makes you feel comfortable and confident in your own body that isn’t going to directly and severely harm yourself or others. No matter how you want to try and redefine natural, the argument falls apart when you have to apply it broadly. You just want to target makeup because women.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/05/22 07:11 PM
2

You need to actually read my comments if you want to actually have a discussion here
/r/PurplePillDebate09/05/22 06:55 PM
1

I’m saying don’t bother with the “natural” argument. Like I said. Everyone should use every advantage they have access to to make themselves like how they look, period. If you or anyone else wants to willfully and stubbornly make things harder for themselves, go for it I guess? Play a hard mode, but don’t cry when you have to work harder to get the same results as everyone else.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/05/22 06:50 PM
1

Another person who doesn’t get it. So hung up on “having a beard” where I’m going with their logic and claiming SHAVING a beard is unnatural and any man that shaves should be shamed for it. That’s how ridiculous men who try and use the “natural” argument to shame women who use makeup sound.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/05/22 06:43 PM
0

You’re really hung up in the whole “having a beard” thing and completely missing the point. You’re not interested in a real discussion.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/05/22 06:02 PM
0

Backwards thinking. My point was by your logic of you are shaving, it’s unnatural. If a guy can’t grow facial hair, then that’s their natural state. Let’s not argue semantics here or use “natural” as an argument. Nothing about style or fashion is natural. It’s all carefully curated to give a specific image. Both men and women should be using every option they have at their disposal to look and feel the way they want to. I know when I think I look good, I don’t give a single fuck of someone else …
/r/PurplePillDebate09/05/22 04:56 PM
-1

Because it’s still deliberately styling something to make you look better. The argument of “natural” is moot. The end result is the same, both are done to look more attractive. By your logic any man who shaves his beard has an unnatural look and should be called out for it.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/05/22 04:02 PM
2

That’s a subjective opinion that can’t be measured in any reliable way. Sure maybe the average woman can get sex a little easier. But getting hollow unfulfilling sex from an average guy who doesn’t actually give a shit about you isn’t the advantage most guys seems to think it is. Even then, that argument completely undermines the “lose weight and stay in shape” argument being made in the OP. If the claim that an average woman doesn’t get the same negative backlash over being average that men do,…
/r/PurplePillDebate05/05/22 07:02 PM
5

Not sure I would call 1 in 10 a small percentage. PCOS is one of the most common causes to make weight loss damn near impossible for women without medical intervention or living an absolutely miserable existence. Any “average X” point that can be made about men can also be made about women. The average woman looks average.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/05/22 06:19 PM
9

The illness point is huge. Their are several very common medical issues that are almost exclusively gotten by women that can make it damn near impossible to lose weight. But people don’t want to hear scientific facts. They want to cling to this self-deception that any women can be an 8 out of 10 or better if they just put in an unreasonable amount of effort for the sake of….random men who look at them? All while we get a good deal of men who constantly say how there’s nothing they can do about h…
/r/PurplePillDebate05/05/22 05:40 PM
2

Definitely, there’s always nuances. But ultimately they are the ones that have to make the decision to step away if they aren’t getting the outcome they truly want. Like maybe it’s just me, but I feel like I’ve missed my opportunity if 48 hours have passed, let alone years.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/04/22 03:15 PM
4

I dunno, assuming it’s not blatantly manipulative I kinda feel yes it’s the guys fault in this scenario. I’ve never ever understood guys who keep this feeling hidden for years, pretending they are okay with being just friends. I’ve also never understood guys who make this feelings known, get shot down, then continue hanging around pretending they are okay being just friends. All the while they are secretly pining for the girl hoping one day she will change her mind (she won’t). If we flipped thi…
/r/PurplePillDebate29/04/22 02:57 PM
0

Bingo. They completely missed the point. You explicitly said in you post that a big problem with many guys is they openly admit they have no friends and aren’t being social. So no men shouldn’t be staying home, they should be building up a social circle, but not for the sole purpose of getting a woman. If a guy sees no value in anything if it doesn’t result in a date, sex, or a relationship? Then their values are royally screwed up. If a guy has nothing going on with this life other than pursuin…
/r/PurplePillDebate29/04/22 02:26 PM
3

I completely agree with this. Its saying what so many here on Reddit always tell guys who are having dating troubles: be confident.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/04/22 07:41 PM
1

Not sure what you mean by “run by”. There’s no hierarchical structure if that’s what you mean. Her husband also has a girlfriend. But my GF and her husband obviously take priority by virtue of living together and having an established life across 20 years together. But the time we have set aside when I’m with I’m with her, I’m the priority. I could have other partners if and when I decided I want one, I have in the past. I’m just not looking to complicate my already complicated life at the momen…
/r/PurplePillDebate27/04/22 03:55 PM
2

Moral and immoral are subjective, not absolute truth. What you think of as immoral another may find perfectly reasonable. What you think is perfectly moral another may find absolutely reprehensible.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/04/22 03:18 PM
2

You have a very inaccurate view is how most poly relationships actually operate. Poly relationships aren’t 3 people in a single relationship. That’s a notion perpetuated but unicorn hunters who are mostly scorned by the poly community. In those cases yes, it’s mostly one partner pressuring the other because they just want to fuck other people guilt free. I’m in a poly relationship with my girlfriend. My girlfriend is in a relationship with me, she’s in a relationship with her husband, I’m not in…
/r/PurplePillDebate27/04/22 03:00 PM
1

They metaphor completely sailed right over your head. You latched onto literally driving places instead of the cognitive disconnect. At this point I just feel you’re grasping for excuses to invalidate someone else’s experience because you don’t want to accept there’s something you can’t relate to or completely understand, when they are literally flat out telling you what is like. You can’t understand what it’s like being trans just like I can’t understand what it’s like having muscular dystrophy…
/r/PurplePillDebate22/04/22 09:03 PM
1

Because that has nothing to do with your gender. You’re conflating two different things and you know it. A physical malady where you literally cannot do something isn’t the same.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/04/22 08:46 PM
1

If that were true they merely wearing makeup and dressing feminine would be enough to alleviate something like gender dysphoria. But often it’s not. So it’s more than a preference. Liking pepperoni over ham on a pizza is a preference. Your brain doesn’t go into a mental freak that results in days or weeks of constant anxiety out when you see your pizza doesn’t have pepperoni on it. It makes no sense to you because presumably your gender identity lines up with what you’ve been told and what your …
/r/PurplePillDebate22/04/22 08:16 PM
1

Not sure where you’re getting that idea. It’s not what you do determines what you are. It’s I identify as X, and therefore I chose to do Y. Wearing feminine clothing and makeup doesn’t make someone a female. There’s nothing that biologically prevents a man from doing that and still identifying as a male. Sticking to the whole theme of the discussion. Most drag queens are gay men. Emphasis on men, they identify as men. It’s a performance, a hobby for them. It’s not their gender identity.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/04/22 07:50 PM
1

And all those words mean nothing to someone who’s never seen the color red. There’s no comprehension of what the color actually looks like, it’s junk information to the individual asking what the color looks like. But also I should make it clear I don’t necessarily personally believe there’s NO biological component to gender, I just think how we view it as a culture and society is showing to be far more limited than it actually is. Their is obviously a biochemical aspect to bring trans. Being tr…
/r/PurplePillDebate22/04/22 07:31 PM
0

No, the argument is that biology has nothing to do with gender or gender roles. That are are a social construct. That most of what we consider gender is actually gender presentation. IE thing we have full control over and are learned. As a trans woman, I’ve come to learn the way people perceive your gender has very very little to do with your physical attributes unless they are overwhelmingly apparent. One hairstyle, clothing, mannerism, body language, voice, and the way they speak has a much mo…
/r/PurplePillDebate22/04/22 06:06 PM
0

Directly from the Oxford dictionary: either of the two sexes (male and female), especially when considered with reference to social and cultural differences rather than biological ones. The term is also used more broadly to denote a range of identities that do not correspond to established ideas of male and female. "a condition that affects people of both genders" GRAMMAR (in languages such as Latin, Greek, Russian, and German) each of the classes (typically masculine, feminine, common, neuter) …
/r/PurplePillDebate22/04/22 05:34 PM
1

Your trying to boil down gender to reproductive organs, it’s terribly reductive. The “XY/XX” argument is equality, massively over simplifying genetics. Okay so say someone gets they testicles removed and their penis inverted to look like a vagina and grows breasts due to the sudden lack of testosterone. They don’t produce sperm, they don’t have ovaries, they won’t ever be pregnant, they won’t ever get someone pregnant, they don’t have a menstrual cycle. What gender are they? They MUST have one r…
/r/PurplePillDebate22/04/22 05:22 PM
10

Also kind of wondering where exactly a trans individual like myself would fall in this according to OP. Like I’m attracted to women. Am I not allowed to have women friends? Or can I not have male friends? Or am I stuck in the friendless void with the bisexuals?
/r/PurplePillDebate22/04/22 04:26 PM
5

Depends on how old the kids are. If they are older teens who are likely to be going to college soon I would probably be fine with it. If they were so young I would inevitably become their parent, big nope. I have zero interest in being even half a parent, doesn’t matter how great a partner I would be giving up.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/04/22 05:10 AM
3

I’m not well endowed. But going from literally no boobs to small boobs I can tell you a few things. Good bras are fucking expensive. Like equivalent to a pair of decent mens jeans. If you’re sweating, bras feel like a towel soaking in warm sweat wrapped around your chest. It’s gross. Boobs are heavy, even small ones make a notable difference in back strain. Boobs can be painfully sensitive. Like bump into anything too hard and you have to stop and crash your breath painful. They can make simple …
/r/PurplePillDebate15/04/22 08:18 PM
8

You said it better than what I was thinking. Mine was simply “if you wouldn’t do it with your same sex friends, don’t do it with your friends of the opposite sex” assuming a heterosexual dynamic of course.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/04/22 06:34 PM
3

Your back pedaling. Your comment wasn’t you stating a “preference”. It was an ignorant judgement. “I’m not a fan of tattoos, I would never get one and don’t find them attractive” is a preferential statement. That’s not anywhere close to what you said. Don’t try and play word games with someone who’s versed in English, written word, text based communication, and traditional journalism.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/04/22 06:26 PM
3

Yes, it’s an allergic reaction to willful ignorance.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/04/22 06:11 PM
4

Write this is such an ignorant take. Like is all your information and opinions on tattoos from movies and crime dramas? Honestly. Impulse control? You realize most people sit on tattoo ideas for years before they get them? No one’s going to pay hundreds of dollars and endure physical pain for hours on impulse. Substance abuse? Way to buy into a stereotypical conservatives nonsense. Ive know plenty of alcoholics and drug users who don’t have tattoos, I know plenty of people with many tattoos who’…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/04/22 03:47 PM
2

Financially? Her new husband had a serious medical emergency that had a large tail behind it. All her money was spent on his medical bills from what I understand. Everything else was basically her reverting to the mentality of a 21 year old college party girl. Imagine handing a 21 year old tens of thousands of dollars and leaving them to their own devices.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/04/22 04:57 PM
3

“Panic mode” would have been an understatement when my parents got a divorce after almost 20 years of marriage. She got a pretty big chunk of money from the divorce and had a respectable job by the time we moved out. She instantly remarried, 3-4 years later she was in debt with no money, going through a second divorce, and showing early signs of alcoholism. Just totally off the rails.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/04/22 04:33 PM
30

Yeah, it’s not any surprise that the careers that attract egotistical, narcissistic, and/or power hungry bullies are the same ones that should be a warning sign to how they are in their private life. On the SAHM, it’s no surprise there either. Most of them likely never had a real job or haven’t had one in a very long time. Many have no real understanding of how the world works outside of taking care of children and a home. It’s like living in a bubble, when the bubble bursts they have no idea wh…
/r/PurplePillDebate12/04/22 03:53 PM
5

There’s a huge difference between making passing comment about something that happened that you and a stranger just witnessed, and some total stranger cold approaching you for no apparent reason while you’re putting gas in your car, which I’ve had happen….a lot.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/04/22 02:20 PM
0

That’s fair. And I’ll never look down on anyone for waiting until they are comfortable with sex with someone. It also just occurred to me that my “required vetting” process is probably more involved than that of a standard man and woman dynamic. Meaning my normal may actually be longer than I realize by comparison. It’s also not something that happens with me a lot, given the nature of my circumstances and having a generally very low sex drive. So I could also be unintentionally making it sound …
/r/PurplePillDebate12/04/22 01:58 PM
0

So a few things: I’m not necessarily talking strictly 1 night stands. Is sex happens a second (and third, and fourth, etc) time, awesome. More that having sex once doesn’t automatically mean I should expect it again. I’m also not going to stifle my sex life by requiring some kind of commitment before hand. I also don’t believe in using sex as a bargaining tool. Sex is never a waste if I’m willing to have it. There’s no hard cap on the number is sexual encounters I can have. I’ll concede it’s a b…
/r/PurplePillDebate12/04/22 12:53 AM
3

I think you have a very idealized version of the past. I’m almost 40, so I know what dating was like before Tinder. What you described is absolutely nothing like any dating environment I’ve ever been in my entire life. Virtually none is the relationships I’ve ever been in were made via any kind of formal or even slightly structured courtship. They were all something that happened organically. Their was no oath of commitment before sex, bills were often split, etc. Until finally someone end up as…
/r/PurplePillDebate11/04/22 05:44 PM
9

The longest relationship I was ever in (7 years) we had sex on the second date. Only people that think “sex” and “relationship” mean the same thing feel the need to wait past some arbitrary measurement of time. But I firmly keep the two concepts separated. I know sex doesn’t automatically mean I’ll be in a relationship with that person. I don’t expect anything out of having sex with someone other than sex that one time.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/04/22 05:35 PM
10

Trying to become fit, charismatic, and sexy for any reason other than they want to feel better about themselves is never going to work. Self-improvement for the validation from others isn’t self-improvement, It’s attention seeking behavior.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/04/22 02:43 PM
2

You really aren’t getting it. I’m trans, meaning I was born with male parts. I lived as a man dating women for 36 years. Meaning I have more experience dating women as a man than some men on this sub do. So yes I do know how hard it is out there for men when it comes to dating. I literally lived it for decades. But even as a skinny, awkward, 5’9, 140 pound “guy” who never wore anything but jeans and t-shirts I still managed to get into relationships. So all your talk about what men “need” to be …
/r/PurplePillDebate09/04/22 06:26 PM
2

It’s a very very common reaction. Not just here but visually any of the advice subs on Reddit as well. Because they don’t actually want advice. They want to be validated in their blame game. After all, is they actually take the advice to heart and genuinely try it and fail. Well eventually they would run out of excuses and realize there’s far more holding them back than how they look.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/04/22 04:41 PM
2

Sort I’m calling bullshit on all this. Just sounds like excuse after excuse to facilitate an unhealthy mindset that needs working on. Everything I said won’t do a damn thing for acting if they don’t have their mental and emotional shit in line and managed. People can tell when you’re only doing something because you are forcing yourself to do for some reward. But I’m calling bullshit for a very specific reason. I lived the first 36 years is my life as a man, an average at best looking ones at th…
/r/PurplePillDebate09/04/22 04:01 PM
4

Uhh my existence proves my statement correct. Me dressing to where I think I look good, to where I can look at myself in the mirror and go “hell yeah…”, gives me a huge confidence boost. I have no curves and a-cups and am taller than average. But I take all this into consideration and wear clothing there compliments it, rather than try and force something that doesn’t work for me. It doesn’t make sense to those who don’t actually put in the effort to do it. Because they are so far into their own…
/r/PurplePillDebate09/04/22 02:20 PM
2

Now that I can understand. Men’s clothing isn’t nearly as varied or expressive as women’s clothing. But often just a expensive. I don’t think guys need an entirely different wardrobe for dating. But a few “go-to” options is never a bad thing. You can’t deny there’s a huge difference between an old t-shirt, beat up jeans, and tennis shoes, and a nice button up shirt, pressed slacks, and nice shoes. If not 100% accurate but I think I good measurement for guys is if you wouldn’t walk into a job int…
/r/PurplePillDebate09/04/22 02:07 PM
6

It’s not just about dressing well. There’s no one magical thing you can do that will suddenly shoot you to the top of front of the pack. But if there’s half a dozen things one can do to slightly increase their odds, (when they know they will be in an environment where they will be meeting new people) why not do them? Why are SO many men so adamantly against taking advantage of every edge they possibly can? It’s not just about getting the attention, it’s about giving yourself the confidence to to…
/r/PurplePillDebate08/04/22 10:59 PM
2

Gotta love these ridiculous statements. The global unemployment rate in 2020 (during a pandemic when many people were laid off) was 6.5%. Yet somehow 30% of men in their prime aren’t working….sure that’s how math works. Even if this was true. It’s making a false calm as to why with no evidence. Maybe the fact that jobs are steadily providing less and less financial stability to actually live a decent life is a reason people are less willing to work said jobs. Seems like a much more logical reaso…
/r/PurplePillDebate08/04/22 07:33 PM
1

Keep telling yourself that. I’m sure it’s a convenient excuse for coping with rejection.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/04/22 06:48 PM
0

Me personally? Plenty. I have hobbies, interests, and can hold an intelligent conversation. If I didn’t enjoy using makeup I wouldn’t. I view it in a similar manner as I do any kind of artistic interest. It’s about creating something. About designing a look or style that I made. Though I’ll admit I don’t really do subtle too well, with anything, makeup included. But don’t misunderstand, in no way an I saying makeup is a substitute for having a personality or being able to hold an interesting con…
/r/PurplePillDebate08/04/22 06:08 PM
3

I’m a trans woman who’s attracted exclusively to women. When I switched over all my social media and OLD to reflect this, my matches and dating options SKYROCKETED. Like no joke as an average looking “straight white male” I would get maybe 1 match a week….maybe. Now? I can be fairly confident I’ll get 1-3 matches a day. So either I hit the genetic jackpot and am a significantly better looking woman than I was a guy. Or there’s something else at work here with OP’s lamentations.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/04/22 05:51 PM
3

Spoken like someone who knows nothing about makeup and likely thinks women who are actually wearing lite makeup aren’t wearing any. Also they sent overdoing it if it’s attracting more attention. If anything it’s proving the point of the post. If women don’t wear makeup, they tend to get ignored in favor of women who put in the effort. Just like men who don’t put in the effort get ignored in favor of the men that do.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/04/22 05:32 PM
6

We aren’t talking about running around doing errands. I don’t expect to meet the love of my life doing grocery shopping. But if you’re unwilling to put any effort into yourself even in a social environment where you know you will be interacting with people you’ve never met? You have no argument as to why you get ignored for other men. A lot, and I mean a LOT, of men get absolutely indignant over the idea that they should have to do anything extra to grab the attention of the opposite sex. But ge…
/r/PurplePillDebate08/04/22 05:25 PM
3

We do that and we constantly get asked by men if we’re sick, or is we’re feeling okay, or that we look tired. Many men literally don’t know what most women look like without makeup on.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/04/22 03:56 PM
33

If you’re not willing to put your best out there for a first impression, I’m just going to assume I’m never going to see “your best”.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/04/22 03:54 PM
12

Sorry but I don’t think a bunch of guys complaining about how they can no longer be misogynists and view women like property they are entitled to counts as a legitimate problem. Not convincing them to unpack their own personal problems and deal with them correctly so they can actually GET into a good relationship (for both people, not just themselves)? That’s an issue worth fixing.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/04/22 03:21 PM
6

If more women were okay having sex with “just friends” you wouldn’t hear so many men bitch and moan about being “friend zoned”. As usual the men on here are contradicting themselves.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/04/22 12:23 PM
27

Having grown up in Detroit I can absolutely attest to this. I knew a guy who worked security for a concert venue. He was 6’2 and 210 pounds of decent muscle. He got shot to death. A bullet or knife will kill you the same no matter who you are. Men have a significantly lower risk of sexual assault, but I feel that’s splitting hairs when we’re talking about protecting yourself. I don’t want to be stabbed, shot, or raped in equal measure. I regularly went to some of the most dive places in the deep…
/r/PurplePillDebate06/04/22 04:07 PM
7

Absolutely agree. I’m usually the first to get on someone’s case for making knee jerk judgements on someone’s past. I firmly believe if it doesn’t measurably affect them now, they aren’t entitled to know. But just because they don’t NEED to know, doesn’t mean you shouldn’t tell them when the time is right. It’s a topic that hits very close to home for me that I’m going to have to address in literally every relationship I ever get into for the rest of my life. I feel that if you live with someone…
/r/PurplePillDebate06/04/22 01:25 PM
3

It also doesn’t make sense from a practical standpoint either. If you can get women to go to your club, men will follow. They don’t need to promote to men, they will go where the women are.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/03/22 05:53 PM
1

Nah, again the fact that my dating options went up about 3000% after transitioning is all the data I need. This isn’t a race to the bottom argument. It’s a “would you rather be a small fish in a big pond? Or a medium fish in a small pond?” Most straight men are small fish in an ocean. That’s just the nature of it. Gay people are swimming in a much smaller pool.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/03/22 05:53 PM
1

Uhh I’m a gay trans woman. You’re asking me to ask myself about my own dating experiences dating bi and gay women?
/r/PurplePillDebate29/03/22 05:35 PM
20

Eh I’m not sure they are a valid testimonial. They never had to date women as a straight male. The dynamic between two women dating is substantially different than a man and woman dating. Trying to frame a same sex relationship with a heterocentric lens just doesn’t work. To be clear, I think it’s actually easier for bi and gay women than it is for straight men. I say this because I found it significantly easier to date woman as a trans woman. I transitioned fairly late in life, so I had almost …
/r/PurplePillDebate29/03/22 02:07 PM
1

To be fair, repetition seems to be the only way to hammer it home for some people. But pointing the finger at the company that’s actually responsible for how an app operates goes against the “all women are awful” narrative. Dating apps are a dumper fire that all men (and women honestly) should just stop leaning into to the point their social skills atrophy. People have been forced to use nothing but dating apps for the last two and a half years. Now is the perfect time to start meeting people fa…
/r/PurplePillDebate29/03/22 01:44 PM
5

Right? It’s a pedantic argument. When someone says “nobody” is not a literal statement. Is that the odds are so minuscule that it shouldn’t be this all consuming concern. You could date a different woman every day for a year, if you didn’t encounter a single legit psychopath it wouldn’t even be a statistical anomaly. Where but OP’s own information, you are TREE times more likely to run across a male who’s psychotic. To put this into perspective: to come across a female psychopath, you would have…
/r/PurplePillDebate28/03/22 04:36 PM
2

I’m in a unique situation here. I’m a trans woman who’s only been out for a few years. So I know what’s it’s like for guys on OLD. For context, I felt I was an average at best looking guy when putting in maximum effort. I’ve been told I look better now than back then when also putting in max effort. Also keep in mind from an outside perspective I went from being a straight male, to a gay trans female. I went from getting 2-3 matches a month to 2-3 matches a day. I’m also regularly sitting on 30+…
/r/PurplePillDebate24/03/22 02:49 PM
5

I’ll also add you need to be able to “turn it off” so to speak. You need to know when it’s time to be sincere and welcoming. I was that person for many years who couldn’t turn it off. I was using it as a means to keep people at a distance.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/03/22 04:52 PM
2

Everything about my existence is non-conventional. Hell my sex like is the absolute last thing I’m worried about being judged for. So needless to say, no I don’t judge as long as it’s legal and consenting
/r/PurplePillDebate21/03/22 06:37 PM
4

I feel you on this one. Trans lesbian here, I’ve gotten many women that just view me as a “safe” middle ground to explore their sexuality without it being “gay” in their mind. As if I’m just a really pretty and feminine male or something. Like “no girl, you cannot call me ‘daddy’,wtf is wrong with you?” Yes that actually happened to me once. That being said dating has still been a hell of a lot better since coming out and starting my transition. Like, a lot better. I went from getting 1-3 matche…
/r/PurplePillDebate18/03/22 07:17 PM
3

I won’t use a sub comprised mostly of 23 year olds who are barely out of college and have literally not been alive long enough to have had a long term adult relationship as a stable baseline.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/03/22 10:09 PM
9

It’s basically if they do something that’s really off putting, even if it’s for good reason, they cut their losses and move on. Like canceling a planned date at the last minute would constitute a strike.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/03/22 09:22 PM
24

This is an awful lot of pomp for what boils down to “I let a conversation with someone I wasn’t interested in fizzle out over the course of an entire week.” After week of casual conversation and expressing no interest in meeting up in person she probably got the point. This isn’t exclusive behavior to women. I’ve known many many men who have a “one strike” rule in the early dating phase.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/03/22 07:37 PM
2

This is what I was going to say. More women can provide for themselves just fine these days. It’s that the expectations of what women want from men is shifting and men aren’t adapting because they have had it their way and only their way since forever, and are finally having to actually adjust to a more level playing field when it comes to practical advantages like income.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/03/22 07:03 PM
67

I would also argue while yeah women are less horny than men. The way they get aroused it very different. Men are like a light switch. They turn on very fast. Women is more like a slow pressure that needs to build up. Trying to get a woman to go from 1 to 100 too fast (like say showing an unwanted dick pic) is unpleasant for them.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/03/22 08:33 PM
1

Yup. Is she still wants the child, no one stopping her. But if their reaction is “I can’t afford to raise a child on my own” well that’s a pretty good indicator you shouldn’t be having a kid right now.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/03/22 01:43 PM
2

Your not giving any substance. Every excuse you give is a cop out to why it’s gone for women to get an abortion but men are just fucked. That’s not equality. your also wrong about the two parents thing. You’re skewing the facts. It’s when two parents are both present and active and supporting a child’s upbringing. Guess what I parent who doesn’t want to be there is doing? None of that. You can scream and tell me I’m wrong all you want. No parent is better than a neglectful or abusive parent. You…
/r/PurplePillDebate07/03/22 08:52 PM
3

You can think that all all you want, you’re still wrong. Again you’re spewing rhetoric. Come back when you have something better than limp “I feel this thing, so you should to” affectations. My way is better because it guarantees both parents WANT to be there. That they WANT to raise a child. Which is the most important part. All else is secondary. A child’s life isn’t magically better because a second parent is present when the that parent is bitter, resentful, and feels like their life has bee…
/r/PurplePillDebate07/03/22 07:27 PM
2

That’s a whole lot of words with barely any substance. You’re speaking in nothing but rhetoric. So I’ll be very blunt. I don’t care about any of that. I care about legal equality when it comes to deciding weather or not you want to be a parent, period. That way there’s no bullshit about what either person is getting into and they are both able to have agency over a life changing decision. Because as I already started, you can’t force someone into being a loving parent. I imagine most women would…
/r/PurplePillDebate07/03/22 06:51 PM
6

Right, consequences. IE punishment. You honestly expect someone can be a good parent when they are told explicitly they are being punished. That having a child is your prison sentence? This is exactly why I think men should be able to sign away their rights within the same time frame women can terminate a pregnancy. Woman insists on having a child? That’s perfectly fine, but they should go in accepting they may be doing it on their own, being owed no obligation.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/03/22 05:45 PM
9

Because it’s a social construct. It’s meaning is derived from the definition we give it. The definition can change dramatically over time. Their was a time when wearing makeup, powdered wigs, and frilly shirts was considered masculine. Just a few decades ago the music industry was dominated by men wearing tight jeans, crop tops, with permed hair. I could give a wildly different example if what being masculine meant for each decade I’ve been alive.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/03/22 04:46 PM
7

Your making some big assumptions based on how you feel. How you feel is how YOU feel, no one else. So your entire argument about “deep love” and “emotional connections” is limp. Especially when you’re trying to make a legal argument about it. I have a child. You know what I feel about it? Mostly resentment because I was pressured into it and had insurmountable expectations put on me. Heavy guilt was in a close second for a very long time. You cannot force someone to be a good parent. You’re eith…
/r/PurplePillDebate07/03/22 03:36 PM
2

Yup. Regardless of reason, when a body doesn’t have the proper hormone balance it can cause depression, disassociation, mood swings, irritability, all sorts of things. Not just in women, men too. The brain knows what it’s supposed to have. There’s a neurological aspect that science doesn’t fully understand yet.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/03/22 06:20 PM
4

Also the fact that the effect of hormones can vary dramatically from person to person, as they are so closely tied to our genetics. That and their just hasn’t been a ton of research on the effects. Anecdotally, I’m in testosterone blockers and estrogen. Has it changed my overall disposition and mood? Absolutely! But not in a bad way. It also hasn’t had any impact on what I want in a partner.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/03/22 06:08 PM
15

Ah yes, held accountable for the behavior of getting unsolicited creepy DM’s by desperate men who open with creepy and inappropriate lines. Or being approached by men who have so little social awareness they can’t tell where a woman is clearly uncomfortable. Then they turn into a rude asshole when we have to get blunt because they just. don’t. get it. Like seriously you would think saying “I’m a lesbian” would be very very clear cut. But no, apparently sexual orientation is no deterrent to conti…
/r/PurplePillDebate04/03/22 02:30 PM
1

You realize I’m using 35 as a dead center average right? Not like I’m saying ever human being should be waiting until exactly 35 to immediately get married and have kids. Love how people like to act as is there’s no such thing as minutia. Even if we scale that back and say wait till they are 28-29 to get married and wait until they are 32 to have kids. That’s still significantly better than someone rushing into marriage while still college aged and having kids at the age of 20-21. And biology ou…
/r/PurplePillDebate03/03/22 09:25 PM
1

Oh I know. But I do so love letting people like that get higher and higher on their horse. Only to watch them get tossed into the mud when I let it slip that they sent talking to who they think they are, and they aren’t taking about the situation they think they are. By telling me the things she did about what I should and shouldn’t be doing. She completely contradicted her own world view. I love watching people berate me while I sit and nod my head while I watch them tie the noose with the rope…
/r/PurplePillDebate03/03/22 06:39 PM
5

Given that she stopped replying to me after the last thing I told her, I’m pretty sure it’s more than women she hates….
/r/PurplePillDebate03/03/22 06:26 PM
6

So people should just throw themselves into a relationship when they may not want one just so they can not be homeless? Sounds like a great foundation for a healthy and happy couple. Also since we’re also talking about having kids in this discussion, where exactly is a child going to sleep in a one bedroom apartment?
/r/PurplePillDebate03/03/22 06:24 PM
7

Because wanting kids isn’t the same as having the means to raise them properly. It’s a massive responsibility, it’s not some idyllic fantasy where everything is sun and rainbows because you have a kid now. Let me put it this way. Can you afford an expense of an extra $1250 a month? Because according to the department of agriculture that’s the average cost of raising a child properly to the age of 18 in the US. One of the biggest factors for divorce is financial troubles. Hmm I wonder if that cor…
/r/PurplePillDebate03/03/22 05:25 PM
7

Haha wow you’re really self absorbed. YOUR purpose in life was to be a wife and mother. Don’t tell others what they should want out of life out tell them it’s pointless just because they aren’t doing what you did. Hate to break it to to you, there’s more than one way to live a life. Also lesbians like me exist. So what because some women literally aren’t attracted to men their entire existence is pointless? And how exactly is one supposed to take care of a kid when they can’t even afford to take…
/r/PurplePillDebate03/03/22 05:02 PM
6

No…no it’s not. Waiting until you know what you want out of life to legally bind yourself to another human being until you die is not stupid. It’s being emotionally mature. Actually waiting till you are financially capable of raising a kid in an environment that’s more than just “okay” or “fine” isn’t stupid, it’s being responsible. I’m speaking as someone who had a kid before they were anywhere close to being financially capable or emotionally ready to have one. I thank god every day that I was…
/r/PurplePillDebate03/03/22 04:41 PM
5

Then I have no idea what point you were even trying to make. Not trying to come down on you but but you first comment isn’t very well communicated. Like at this point I can’t tell if you’re agreeing with me or arguing with me.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/03/22 04:20 PM
16

Yeah I’m a millennial so no idea what you’re on about. What I just described is literally what my generation is doing right now, and they are doing it better then our parents did because they waited until they had means to do it. Sorry if you think there’s no measurable difference between a 35 year old getting married and having kids isn’t any different than a 20 year old doing the same thing.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/03/22 04:11 PM
19

I think this is a huge factor. Previous generations had this unhealthy obsessionwith getting married and having kids as soon as humanly possible one they became legal adult. Then ended up getting a divorce after having kids, buying a home, etc. These days most people in their 20’s can barely afford rent of a 1 bedroom apartment. They know there’s no way they can raise a child properly at that age. So they wait until they can afford it and they do have a stable living environment. Which is usuall…
/r/PurplePillDebate03/03/22 02:46 PM
-1

Yeah sorry but everything you just said screams “I gave a paranoid personality disorder”. You are parroting conservatives fear mongering bullet points. For someone who is talking about indoctrination, you sound just like every other fearful conservative.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/03/22 03:58 AM
5

Like what does “feminizing the education system” even mean? It just sounds like unhinged and delusional ranting.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/03/22 08:25 PM
5

Well that’s certainly a bunch of anecdotal and unprovable claims you made there. But by all means banging the drum same old drum and jumping at every shadow
/r/PurplePillDebate02/03/22 06:01 PM
11

If you think income and workers rights aren’t having an impact on dating you’re not thinking very hard. Hell one of the core concepts that’s always brought up regarding “high value” men is if they can provide. Very very few people under the age of 50 are making enough to even provide for themselves, let alone making enough to buy a home, two cars, and financially support a wife and a few kids. Most couples these days have both people working full time jobs because they have to. That’s a direct r…
/r/PurplePillDebate02/03/22 05:19 PM
18

The dating scene is rough for guys, I’ll never argue against that. However this sub is the embodiment of “you are your own worst enemy”. Speaking as someone who was their own worst enemy for many many years.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/03/22 03:13 PM
9

I’ve met both types like that. I think the key factor is substance. If the entertaining extrovert never “turns off” and becomes a real person you can engage with. Well then they start to be viewed as a prop. In the rare moments the interesting extrovert get to show their personality, it’s a hook to keep engaging with them. But no one wants to be around the obnoxious extrovert with a bad attitude. no one wants to be around the uncomfortable and awkward introvert with a bad attitude.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/03/22 02:07 PM
11

I feel this is based on the false assumption that if you’re single you’re lonely. I was single for the vast majority of my 20’s because I would have been the mediocre partner and I knew it. But I was never lonely. I had friends, very very good friends who I’m still close with to this day. Closer than I am to my family. I do agree there’s no such thing as the perfect partner. Everyone has flaws and issues. For me it’s more about if having your partner in you life inspires you to be more than what…
/r/PurplePillDebate01/03/22 07:55 PM
1

Men don’t have to be “alone” either. Men that have friends, ties to family, and social hobbies are usually fine for extended periods of time. They aren’t tying their entire self worth into women, relationships, and sex.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/03/22 12:38 PM
1

You lost me when you went on your self righteous anti-abortion soap box rant. You’re comment is nothing but holier than thou assumptions.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/03/22 12:07 PM
3

As someone who has a high likelihood of being autistic and having ADHD I agree with this. Many times I’ve felt there is a significant number is neurodivergent people in this sub who were never diagnosed, so never had help to learn how to manage it. I was never diagnosed, but having actually given myself a cursory knowledge on it, relate to it a lot. The difference is I leaned early on into adulthood the “masking” technique. Playing live music taught me how to put on a show, perform, play the par…
/r/PurplePillDebate28/02/22 05:53 PM
2

I’m all for people being honest with their intentions. I wouldn’t suggest being as robotic as the examples given in your post though. It still takes fineness and charm even if all you’re looking for is a hook up.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/02/22 05:05 PM
6

Your reading comprehension is lacking. Nothing in there sentence suggests that in any way. You are projecting you own intentions onto me words. Are you okay? Do you need help?
/r/PurplePillDebate28/02/22 03:33 PM
7

That….Doesn’t relate at anything in my comment at all. Are you even reading the comments or having a conversation with yourself that’s not actually happening?
/r/PurplePillDebate28/02/22 03:21 PM
7

Write you are so being thinking with any amount of reason here. You are equating women having agency and using socially accepted means to have willing sex with someone she wants to have sex with as prostitution. Is this was any other sub I would 100% assume you were trolling. Fact: is the the woman isn’t literally getting paid to have sex with someone, it’s not prostitution. Full stop. No mental gymnastics , no wildly far reaching justification.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/02/22 03:07 PM
3

The irony is your post is completely non-gendered. It’s about as egalitarian as you can get. But a lot of guys in here are so programmed to think “men vs woman” that they are outraged by any suggestion that doesn’t give them a clear advantage over women when it comes to sex.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/02/22 01:29 PM
3

I’m floored at how many people here are utterly confused and perplexed by your post. As of the concept if open communication with a potential sexual partner is completely alien to them.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/02/22 12:52 PM
3

Definitly a double standard for black men. Though I’m gonna point out the average length is like 5.17 inches. So you’re technically correct it’s below average. But not in any noticeable way. I know that’s probably a cold comfort.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/02/22 02:28 PM
-1

Because of your NEED porn to orgasm, it means you’re brain has developed a strong association with sexual pleasure and porn. While not quite on the level of an addiction, it’s not far off from fetishizing behavior. Fetish as in the actual technical definition. Meaning something you NEED to climax that isn’t technically necessary. In this case you would need something that isn’t real and that you will never actually experience in the way it’s depicted in porn. As someone who’s actually done many …
/r/PurplePillDebate27/02/22 02:26 PM
1

Making sure I’m reading this right. 5x4? As in 5 inches long, 4 inches around? 5 inches erect is the average size for men in the US. 4 inches around is also average. 4 inches of girth is also pretty average. Sounds like your finding a lot of women who are buying into the racial stereotype and getting upset when they find out it’s just that, a racial stereotype. Honestly this is a great reverse example of the damage porn can have on our collective subconscious. Sorry so many women disappointed yo…
/r/PurplePillDebate27/02/22 02:05 PM
1

Except studies have regularly disproven any link between developmental problems and violent video games. Where they have proven developmental issues with exposure to porn. Granted this is with those under the age of 18. But it’s still a line to consider given that the brain doesn’t really stop developing until about 25 years old.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/02/22 01:52 PM
-5

Basically, you should be capable of an orgasm without porn (or any other visual simulation being present. If you literally can’t without it while masturbating, or hell during sex with someone, it’s a problem.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/02/22 01:39 PM
0

I’m guessing very young. This person seems to have a very narrow idea of “personality” means. IE they are conflating it with “popularity”.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/02/22 01:34 PM
2

It’s telling when that’s what you assume people mean when they say “fun and pleasant to be around”. There’s a million ways to be fun and pleasant to be around. But you can’t be either of those things if who you are is a bitter, negative, angry person who resents the fact that their are people out there who aren’t.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/02/22 01:30 PM
1

Uhh, I WAS born a male. Hard pass, would not recommend. Granted I may be slightly bias on this….
/r/PurplePillDebate25/02/22 05:31 AM
3

I don’t entirely disagree. Like if a guy or girl has a high count, I want more context. But in those cases the number is really just a side point. The real concern is if they have a healthy relationship with sex in general. I was almost more pointing out the hypocrisy of no one wanting to hold themselves to the standards they impose on others or why many are resistant to give a psychological deep dive into WHY they feel this way in a more general sense. Too often people use “morals and ethics” a…
/r/PurplePillDebate23/02/22 02:36 PM
4

I think another problem they never ask themselves why it matters so much to them. Like what’s the number threshold where is too much? If it’s say 20, does that mean if they ever hit that number themselves that no woman should ever even consider a serious relationship with them ever again? Is that number changing and shifting every time they have a new sexual partner? Is so then it’s really not about the actual number at all. Suggesting it’s more about being with someone who has more sexual exper…
/r/PurplePillDebate23/02/22 01:36 PM
1

The sub isn’t about guys who are actually nice. It’s about guys who are actually pretty awful and think they are nice, and feel entitled to a woman’s attention because they think they meet the baseline expectation for a decent human being.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/02/22 05:05 PM
0

Whoosh. You totally missed the intent of that sub.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/02/22 04:43 PM
1

Self hate and ego are a really ugly combination, men like that have it in spades.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/02/22 12:28 PM
1

The only one I know of off hand is Michigan from personal experience. I’ll preface this was some years ago and I don’t live there anymore so I can’t speak to if that’s still the case.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/02/22 06:45 PM
3

Don’t go confusing entertainment with insight
/r/PurplePillDebate18/02/22 06:07 PM
4

Many states already require a dna test if the proposed father isn’t married to the mother
/r/PurplePillDebate18/02/22 02:32 PM
1

Good lord you’re really really reaching. Everyone has different limits to what they are okay with. If he’s okay with waiting it out until she’s comfortable having sex, then that’s okay. If a healthy sex live by that line in the relationship is essential to him, he should break it off and that’s okay too. Stop trying to find something to argue about with someone who actually agrees with you.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/02/22 02:34 PM
1

He never said he has feminine tendencies. Also you seem to be equating me saying “most straight women” with “all women”. Stop it.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/02/22 08:26 PM
0

Nah, having a few tendencies that aren’t typically masculine isn’t going to account for 100% of rejections. But fact is most straight women don’t want to date a guy who reminds them of a woman. So there’s certainly a tipping point.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/02/22 08:18 PM
-1

Stage 1 every time. It’s not even a question. Keeps me from wasting my time on someone who will end up not liking the real me. It also increases the likelihood that if someone is showing interest, it’s genuine and not because I’m playing some character. I want to know what “quirky mannerisms” means to OP. This tends to make you more memorable, not repellant. Also his last part boils down to “men who get women don’t act like women” well no duh.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/02/22 07:54 PM
0

If you truly believe most men (meaning 51% or more of the entire male population) would rape if given the chance, then I weep for you and whatever god awful thing happened to make you truly believe that. But you would still be wrong. Even if you cut that number in half twice you would still be wrong.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/02/22 07:01 PM
3

I kind is feel parts of you list are misrepresentative. Taking to the opposite sex is something many many people were never socialized to do. As most of us were likely heavily discouraged from intermingling as kids. I sympathize here. There’s a difference between explaining something when you were asked to help, and barging in and giving you unsolicited advice that’s not so much advice as it is self-bolstering one’s ego. Teaching people is a skill, not everyone is good at it. Genuine offers of h…
/r/PurplePillDebate11/02/22 03:04 PM
29

Well said. Age difference in and of itself shouldn’t be a point of judgement. My dad remarried a women a year older than me. She was in her early 30’s and he was in his early 50’s when they got married. By all accounts they’ve been happily married for a decade. On the other hand if a 35 year old is dating a 19 year old. I won’t condemn it, but I will be more vigilant about abusing a possibly power dynamic. But if both people are happy, than who’s anyone to judge?
/r/PurplePillDebate10/02/22 04:50 PM
1

Kind of what I was getting at haha. What’s that make us though?
/r/PurplePillDebate05/02/22 02:04 AM
2

It’s what happens when people fall into the idea that everyone literally thinks like they do. It’s easier to justify having horrible opinions and unhealthy world views when you tell tell yourself everyone thinks the same.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/02/22 11:09 PM
2

Because you keep replying and I’m bored. Besides I’ll remind you that YOU initiated this by asking ME a question. You didn’t like the answer so you flew off into some fantasy drama about what you think my life is.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/02/22 09:06 PM
2

The conversation you were having with yourself about a station that isn’t real? Yeah kind of hard for me to contribute to that.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/02/22 08:49 PM
2

No you’re projecting your own thoughts onto my situation. Really go back and read your comments. How much of it is 100% made up and exists only in your head. You’re having a discussion about a fantasy scenario in your head that in no way reflects what mine is actually like.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/02/22 03:05 PM
3

What are you talking about? Fighting for who? Fighting for what? I’m fighting someone? You seem to be projecting a lot of your own thoughts and assumptions onto me that just don’t exist.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/02/22 02:45 PM
2

The only drama would be from the insecure person causing it. If there’s zero drama between me and my roommate. Then there’s suddenly drama because a 3rd person has some imaginary issue with it, then they are the cause of the drama and thus they are the problem.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/02/22 02:39 PM
2

Well considering I just celebrated my 2 year anniversary with my girlfriend, that’s not really a concern for multiple reasons. But even if you want to apply that in a more general way, if someone had a problem with the fact that I’m comfortable, 100% platonic friends and roommates with an ex? They are showing me a level of insecurity I don’t want to deal with. They are basically telling me they don’t believe me or trust what I say to be true. Also that ex, was friends with an ex when we met, who…
/r/PurplePillDebate04/02/22 02:19 PM
2

Because it’s been dealt with. The baggage is unpacked and neatly folded in a dresser. There’s absolutely nothing there anymore. I often actually forget we used to share the same bed. Not saying it was easy, there was some very rough spots where new boundaries and expectations were being created, and it doesn’t work unless both sides are willing to do it and the severity of the break up obviously.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/02/22 02:08 PM
3

I used to have the “absolutely not” mentality. But after a period of no contact I ended up being friends with a few of my ex’s. Hell I’m now roommates with an ex of 7 years. But their are ex’s that I absolutely never want to see again. Either because they made my life hell, or because they are poisoned wells that pollute everything they touch.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/02/22 12:11 PM
1

That’s a bit is an unintentional trick question. I’ll be the first to admit my situation is unique. When I say I was in the situation. I’m being not literal then you may realize. Meaning I had dated women, as a man, for the majority of my life. So I sympathize with guys who feel stuck in the current dating climate, it’s not fun and can kill your confidence and mental health. As for the ugly question? Kind is a duality there with me. Back then? I would say average at best ona good day. I didn’t t…
/r/PurplePillDebate03/02/22 05:39 PM
1

I WAS in that situation. You are talking with someone who was literally in the exact same position so many guys on here complain about. The difference is I accepted it was a “me” problem and that I shouldn’t be in a relationship until I felt I wouldn’t drag them down with me. They the difference. I worked on myself and didn’t tie my self worth into being validated by someone else’s affection. I didn’t go off and blame everyone and everything else and reject the idea that maybe, just maybe their …
/r/PurplePillDebate03/02/22 01:10 PM
-2

You don’t get to ignore data points just because they run counter to what you want to be true. That’s not how science and research works.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/02/22 04:44 PM
2

Thank you. This sub has a real bad habit of pretending LGBTQ people don’t exist because when you have to factor them into the data it puts their entire belief structure into question in situations like this. Since one can’t really make the claim “father + mother = good, well adjusted child” when kids raised by same sex couples are also excelling.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/02/22 04:38 PM
4

There’s for sure going to be a lot is variance from person to person. I’ve known women who have higher sex drive than most men. I’m speaking more generally, I feel most women would probably feel okay and more or less satisfied with sex once a week. A guy, one a week would likely be a tolerable bare minimum.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/01/22 08:59 PM
2

It’s the other way around actually (I’m trans). Estrogen and testosterone blockers. After a week or two my sex drive absolutely tanked. Not like in an upsetting of off putting way. It was just not something they even occurred to me most the time. Went from at least every day to maybe once a week. My roommate (a cis woman) is also on the same testosterone medication for health reasons. Her sex drive is significantly lower than mine if that gives you a measurement.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/01/22 08:24 PM
7

Once again I find myself in a unique position to comment on something like this. I have intimate, first hand experience of the difference between a testosterone fueled sex drive, and an estrogen fueled sex drive. The difference is astronomical. It’s like ten fold stronger for men. I salute any man who can go a month. So yeah it’s not really relatable for women because it’s just not this pervasive thought and urge that it’s an every day thing. For a woman it’s basically like “oh a those 3 or 4 ti…
/r/PurplePillDebate31/01/22 08:10 PM
1

Your conflating respectful couples that are actually involved in the community and view the people they interact with like real human beings. And the kind that aren’t involved in any community and are just flailing around in the dark trying to find someone to fuck. Dating apps are fucking FILLED with couples like that. It’s got nothing to do with poly, swingers, or bdsm. But many people not in the know think of it as all the same thing.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/01/22 07:19 PM
2

Pretty sure you’ve never met any of the kind of people you’re talking about. What you’re really saying is your comfortable being ignorant and judgemental. I swear guy on this sub have a hypocritically sex negative view. So many of you want to pretend you don’t have raging sex drives.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/01/22 05:55 PM
2

So you’re comfortable being willfully ignorant. Got it.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/01/22 05:28 PM
3

The kink community stresses open and honest communication above all else before anything happens. That if you can’t bring yourself to tell the other person exactly what you want and where you boundaries are, you shouldn’t be doing any of this. This is because song kinks can be very intense. Some can get you physically hurt if things aren’t done properly. You could find out halfway into a scene that something you thought you would like makes youyou incredibly uncomfortable. These are very reasona…
/r/PurplePillDebate30/01/22 02:02 AM
5

Please don’t conflate poly and swingers as being the same thing. It’s flat out incorrect. Unfortunately there are a lot of couples out there that use the then poly as a cover for unicorn hunting. When the reality is they aren’t poly. They are just looking for a living fuck toy for themselves, but they say they are poly because couples know is they just come out and say what they are actually looking for, no one will speak to them.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/01/22 01:54 AM
11

What a ridiculous statement. That’s why most dating subs are men complaining about how they can’t get dates. How much they hate dating apps. How much anxiety they have from always having to initiate and how much it’s killing their confidence. But yeah they are wired for it I’m sure.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/01/22 02:09 PM
29

That no one likes initiating or making the first move regardless of gender. That expecting one group to do it while telling the other they don’t have to (or telling them they can’t) is problematic.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/01/22 01:00 PM
49

Weird, people don’t like being forced to do something when they see a whole other group of people being told they don’t have to (or can’t) for arbitrary reasons like what their gender is.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/01/22 12:12 PM
2

I would argue that in the vast majority of situations, The guy had “more than just friends” in mind from the very beginning. I would bet money on it.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/01/22 05:55 PM
27

This is why it’s so important to live with someone for awhile before you marry them.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/01/22 04:33 PM
2

If you think a gay club constitutes as an underground community, then you have no idea the kind of thing that are likely happening in your own city right under your nose.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/01/22 03:08 PM
1

Yeah any time someone just said they want sex is a judgement. Intimate, physical contact with another person in and of itself is important for mental wellness. I do agree it can still be tough in this underground circles. Especially because it inevitably attracts creeps who don’t understand it’s not an open sex buffet. So it puts most women on guard if you haven’t ingratiated yourself with the community. Also yeah kink also tends to have a big overlap with that. So it can be hard to find someone…
/r/PurplePillDebate19/01/22 02:52 PM
5

It’s funny but true on getting laid. I think another problem is people looking for advice won’t just come out and say they just want to get laid. So everyone is giving them advice on how to win someone over to maybe lead into a relationship. I really with the fact that sometimes people just want sex wasn’t so stigmatized. For men and women. But I would also argue if all someone wants is sex, don’t sit there trying to go on dates. There’s entire underground communities dedicated to people who jus…
/r/PurplePillDebate19/01/22 02:26 PM
2

It’s a welcome side effect. But no, if I don’t like doing it. It I didn’t like how I looked with the end result, I wouldn’t do it. And again, I’m not single, so really any attention I do get is immaterial, it’s a fleeting ego boost at best. Because they don’t actually know who they are talking to, they aren’t complimenting me as a person. They are complimenting my…ability to put on makeup properly? My ability to buy clothes that look good on me? But if you can’t fathom why someone would do somet…
/r/PurplePillDebate19/01/22 01:10 PM
2

Wow you just Silent comprehend anything in my comment did you? Let me put this as simply as I can possibly think of: I. Am. Not. Sexually. Attracted. To. Men.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/01/22 12:50 PM
1

It’s not the working out in and of itself. It’s anything someone may do with the express reason bring for validation and approval of others. It’s attention seeking behavior, you’re not actually doing something for the benefits the thing actually provides, but vinegar you expect someone to give you some kind of reward for doing it. Can it be for both? Of course! It’s just a matter of having a healthy and realistic mind set about it. “I’m going to work out to get in better shape because I should b…
/r/PurplePillDebate19/01/22 12:46 PM
4

It means she’s filling in the blanks on what she doesn’t know about him with things that are statistically unlikely to actually be true.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/01/22 09:36 PM
1

Their are certainly a rare few who do. I’ve gotten into a few arguments with these types over the notion that they believe there should never ever have to disclose they are trans to anyone ever. Even long term partners who they live with for years and potentially marry. Like I don’t feel I should have to disclose my “transness” to every person I meet. But I would never keep something like that from someone I’m looking to build a life with. But yeah as far as the narrative of the content of the O…
/r/PurplePillDebate18/01/22 08:06 PM
0

Are you asking if either of my parents are also trans? If so the answer is no, neither of them are trans.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/01/22 07:55 PM
5

It’s not transphobic to not want to date or have sex with a trans person. If you have a genital preference regardless of the persons gender identity, that’s your right to have. There’s SOME grey area with someone who’s fully transitioned to the point you would never know they were trans unless they told you, even after having sex with them. But I digress. This is the mind set of the vast majority of the trans community. This is a narrative that’s often pushed by non-trans people or trans people …
/r/PurplePillDebate18/01/22 07:21 PM
5

Well not wanting to date or have sex with a transgender person isn’t transphobic. But your unrelated rant that has nothing to do with what OP was saying certainly is. Sincerely, a transgender person.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/01/22 07:16 PM
1

I agree it is hot. But most guys don’t want anything more muscular than that was my point. Hell I have to admit I don’t find anything more than that attractive.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/01/22 06:28 PM
8

Grats, most men don’t. Most men think defined muscle tone on women is unattractive. Anything more than a “dancers physique” is usually too much.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/01/22 05:52 PM
17

You should be spending time at the gym because you want to get into better shape. Not to get dates. Also last I checked women to go the gym too.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/01/22 04:50 PM
2

You make it sound like dedicating a decade to self improvement is a bad thing. When the reality is people who want a better life for themselves never stop working on themselves and improving. All the things you named shouldn’t be things you are only doing to get a date. They should me things you want to do for their own sake. For your own improvement and life enrichment. There’s more in this world than you could ever die for. The day I see no point in continuing to learn, understand, and DO more…
/r/PurplePillDebate18/01/22 04:43 PM
14

No guy is going to outright ask. But some certainly judge you for not doing it. Or at best just see you as some plain, unremarkable person a far as hot you look. It’s an implicit expectation. Also your question isn’t really applicable to me. I’m not doing any of this for any guy at all period. So I’m literally not getting dolled up for men. I’m also not single, but still do this when going out on a date night. Make no mistake, I have no skin in this game. Like I said I don’t begrudge men for not…
/r/PurplePillDebate18/01/22 04:31 PM
5

You’re not wrong. I definitely feel woman’s fashion is more varied and lends to self expression better. At the cost of just taking more time and effort to pull off. It mostly just irks me that some men claim “a don’t have to do that. Men don’t really care about that stuff.” When the opposite has been proven time and time again. I also agree about the arms race. Take two similar looking women and have one spend 2 hours doing their makeup and hair, put on a nice dress that fits perfect and catches…
/r/PurplePillDebate18/01/22 02:50 PM
57

Fucking THANK YOU. Agreed I’ve never seen someone make such a blatantly incorrect statement. It reeks of someone who really has no clue just how much time the little things women do that men seem to think it just some kind of effortless thing that naturally happens actually takes. I’ve never ever known any man who spent 2 hours getting ready for a first date. Their are times when I’ve spent 2 hours just in front of a mirror for a date. Not including all the other stuff like showering, picking ou…
/r/PurplePillDebate18/01/22 02:03 PM
2

I agree and disagree. They aren’t all the observant about these things…..until they are missing. Then they notice real fast how less attractive the woman is when she didn’t spend 3 hours in front of a mirror. Most men can’t tell the difference between “lite makeup” and full face makeup specifically made to look like it’s not a lot of makeup until they are looking at it side by side.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/01/22 01:48 PM
2

You’re asking for some kind of measurable formulated answer? If so then you’re not getting it. But I’ll tell you this: if you saw my other comment about music. The second time I was ever on a real stage, it was in front of several hundreds of people, at a real business with professional musicians who make a living off touring and playing music. I had NO idea what the hell I was doing, I was literally improvising half the time, and I was terrified….and they were cheering. It doesn’t take nearly a…
/r/PurplePillDebate18/01/22 01:02 AM
1

I’ve expressly said the exact opposite multiple times. Me thinks you’re not actually reading my comments. People learn at different speeds. But that doesn’t mean you can’t get to the same spot as someone else with enough time and effort.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/01/22 03:58 PM
1

Real bad example to use with me. I was singing since I was 5. I was classically trained as a kid. I played guitar for 6 years. I wrote and performed live music through my 20’s. You are measurably wrong. Playing a song on a guitar is fine the exact same way no matter who you are. You’re hitting the same notes at the same timing as a guitarist with 20 years experience. It’s not his raw talent that’s making it easier for them to play it. It’s that they have been playing guitar for 20 years. So asid…
/r/PurplePillDebate17/01/22 03:25 PM
0

This is such a bad take. It completely undermines the insane amount of effort people put into getting good at something. It completely disregards intellect and a desire to learn and improve. Your attitude is fatalistic at best.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/01/22 02:14 PM
-1

Your confusing an inability to learn something with the unwillingness to learn it in that environment. Especially if the environment isn’t facilitating the ability to learn it. People like that quit because they make consistently more money elsewhere with less pressure placed on them. It’s a whole different dynamic when it involves weather or not you can pay your bills.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/01/22 01:50 PM
8

Uhh no. Social skills are just that, skills. They are learned and can always be improved and honed. Some people have a more natural inclination to certain skills. Yeah you met have to work harder then some to get to the same point. But it doesn’t mean you can’t get there. Claiming otherwise is just doing what so many people do, rejecting any agency or responsibility. It’s fear of failure taking. Can’t fail if you never try.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/01/22 01:44 PM
12

Gotta agree. This sounds like someone with a personal chip on their shoulder. Exceedingly specific examples that wouldn’t apply to 95% of the men I’ve known in my entire life. If men are running around creating “baby mama’s”, why are a significant number of men saying they can’t even manage to get past a first date? OP also acts as if the woman isn’t 50% responsible to take precautions to not get pregnant. I’ll say the same thing to women as everyone says to men: done want a kid, use a condom ev…
/r/PurplePillDebate16/01/22 09:16 PM
8

Then consider you and your friends very lucky. Most of the people my age where I grew up couldn’t afford to start a family until their mid 30’s. The reality is there’s a large chunk of the population that can barely afford to live on their own. Let alone raise a family.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/01/22 04:57 PM
10

Not at all. I enjoy my alone time and that I can do pretty much whatever I can financially afford to on a whim. If anything I see couples getting married and having kids before they see 25 and wince. I know that it’s highly unlikely they are anywhere close to stable enough in their lives to manage it.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/01/22 04:41 PM
1

There’s definitely selection bias. No one in a happy relationship is going to come into Reddit to talk about how awful their luck in dating is. But even if you only look at Reddit, in general advice subs (meaning not gender specific ones.) women tend to be asking questions and receptive to advice. Men tend to just want to complain and aggressively reject any advice given to them. It honestly wouldn’t surprise me if for every 1 women I’ve seen get hyper defensive (who was the OP), that I’ve seen …
/r/PurplePillDebate13/01/22 12:20 PM
1

Well said. I also agree, seems guys who truly believe these things aren’t quite so eager to express their views out in the real world where their words can actually turn them into a social pariah and get them shunned. Even the closest thing to a red pill guy I know in real life always said something along the lines of “I want my wife to also be my best friend. Someone I’m always happy to see and have around. Someone who I want to share experiences with throughout my life.” He’s been with his wif…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/01/22 01:43 AM
3

Not especially. My sexuality and what I find physically attractive didn’t really budge. Still mostly attracted to women. Though that’s maybe not entirely accurate. It’s not so much “men:no, women: yes”. More so “masculinity: no, femininity: yes.” Though it’s a distinction that rarely matters. So I suppose it anything it perhaps made me more willing to be open to more types of people. As I’m more comfortable with myself. But that’s still just theory.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/01/22 07:17 PM
6

Hormones absolutely have a huge impact on it. Obviously hormones affect different people differently. But going from normal male level hormones to taking estrogen in addition to testosterone blockers, my sex drive tanked within 2 weeks. That constant, pervasive stream of sexual thoughts was just….gone. Like it just doesn’t even occur to me most of the time. It went from a constant every day urge, to maybe a once a week thing. When the sex drive isn’t as prevalent, then it stands to reason that f…
/r/PurplePillDebate12/01/22 05:47 PM
26

A number of them definitely don’t want love. Some of them actually want a mommy to take care of everything for them. They want to work their 40 hours a week and do nothing else. I think another issue is that it’s not that they don’t want to be loved. It’s that a lot of men on Reddit don’t seem to be capable of giving love. Maybe it’s the limits of text communication that makes it seem like that, but that’s how it comes across fairly often. They seem to be angry, bitter, and resentful of….everyon…
/r/PurplePillDebate12/01/22 02:15 PM
4

Then how are they interacting in any meaningful way with the people actually at the bar/club? That would be an instant “do not engage” for me. People who are actually somewhere they want to be and doing something they want to be doing aren’t typically glued to their phone.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/01/22 09:31 PM
6

I’ve always said going out to places to meet men/women is far far better odds than apps. At a bar or club, you’re only competing with other people in the room and everyone can only really interact with one person at a time, so if you get someone’s attention it’s easier to keep it. On tinder you’re competing with everyone in your city, and the other person could be having a dozen conversations at the same exact time.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/01/22 07:18 PM
6

For me it’s more a fascinating study in human behavior. Like I want to know how someone goes from “socially awkward, has trouble getting a date” to a hateful “all people of the opposite sex are trash” mentality. As someone who’s, in a way, stuck between the male and female worlds, it’s perplexing to me. I do think OP’s claims may be a bit too broad though. It may be more so that the people on this sub specifically don’t like people of the opposite sex who are on this sub. But tend to be perfectl…
/r/PurplePillDebate08/01/22 10:28 PM
1

So I’m saying this genuinely, no arguing or insulting intended: It could be that you “not having any standards” is part of the problem. It could be coupled with the feeling that your desperate. No woman wants to be the “better than nothing” choice. If they think that’s what’s going on, you’re gonna have a bad time. Your accomplishments are impressive, great even. But none of that helps regarding social skills or emotional intelligence. Emotional intelligence is a hard thing to parse, it’s why hi…
/r/PurplePillDebate05/01/22 07:18 PM
1

I mean I never wanted to get married. I figured they out when I was a teen and I’ve stuck to it. I’m also very up front about it to any dating prospects. Even while their are practical benefits, I just do not like the idea of my entire way of living being legally tied to another person for the rest of my life without having to go through the war zone that is a divorce. That if things go truly off the rails I can just up and go and completely sever ties if I REALLY needed to. That being said. Thi…
/r/PurplePillDebate04/01/22 06:18 PM
5

I realize you’re being somewhat cheeky. But I’m gonna answer in a somewhat serious way mostly because the majority is Reddit doesn’t know what real narcissism is. All? No, not by literal diagnosis of the word. Strictly acting that way for money would discount true narcissism. Narcissists actually believe the things they say. Not that someone pretending to give a shit about you to get your money is much better.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/01/22 06:05 PM
19

Even with that take it still reads like “I want a relationship where I have all the power, no accountability, and have to put in no effort” I was in a relationship where I was practically worshipped for 4 years. It’s not as fun as it sounds. Over time they completely lost their identity in my eyes, their fixation was to the point where it made me uncomfortable. Eventually it just became exhausting, like I had to keep them constantly reeled in. I truly believe only an ego maniac or narcissist cou…
/r/PurplePillDebate04/01/22 05:25 PM
6

Your argument is based on the notion that if one group is saying something, and another group is saying something else, one of them must be lying. This is a cognitive fallacy. It fails to take into account different social and cultural norms, environment, and individual dispositions and personalities. Both claims can in fact be correct in a large enough pool. But that means very little to the individuals. What’s true for a large number of people doesn’t mean anything of it doesn’t apply to you.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/01/22 05:10 PM
4

Then that same guy will accuse the woman of being shallow and materialistic for being put off by it
/r/PurplePillDebate03/01/22 08:24 PM
7

Spot on with many guys thinking dressing nice is cringy or shallow. Not long ago I got into an argument about how him thinking it’s perfectly fine going on a first date in a ratty t-shirt and beat up jeans is unacceptable to any women you would want to date. He just could not comprehend how dressing yourself up to look good can make you feel good about yourself and give you confidence. The longer it went on the more I got the impression the person was severely loses in self confidence and maybe …
/r/PurplePillDebate03/01/22 08:07 PM
6

You’re not wrong. No one starts out as some bitter, isolated, angry little human. The path from “descent but socially awkward person” to….whatever the shots in the OP are is worth examining. How….ever….. That in no way excuses such angry, hateful, and downright abusive mind sets. You don’t get to be an awful person then just write it off by saying “you just don’t understand what I’ve been through.” People deserve to feel heard, and deserve compassion, and deserve to be happy. But ultimately you …
/r/PurplePillDebate03/01/22 05:56 PM
1

As someone who’s been in both sides of the online dating coin. Men absolutely have it harder, it’s just statistically awful odds of anything fruitful happenings. But I do agree that men constantly complaining and finding every excuse they can do they don’t have to acknowledge maybe, just maybe their are things they can do to better themselves aren’t helping their chances. I’m mostly of the “fuck online dating apps” mentality. They are absolutely awful for your self esteem if you can’t get matche…
/r/PurplePillDebate03/01/22 02:33 PM
0

If you think that’s paying his fare share of taxes then someone who makes 50k a year should only be paying somewhere around $1500 annually in federal taxes.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/01/22 02:23 PM
7

That last part is all too common. You see it all the time in dating and social subs. Many many men that seems to take offense to the idea that they should have to put effort into how they present themselves on a date. Recently I had to ask why out of every group of sexualities and genders (straight men, straight women, gay men, lesbian women, transgender, etc) that the only group (generally speaking) that thinks they shouldn’t have to do more then put on a t-shirt and jeans for a first date is s…
/r/PurplePillDebate30/12/21 05:21 PM
10

No you just need to learn that your anecdotal observations don’t carry the same weight as measurable data.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/12/21 04:12 PM
11

Several of your “examples” aren’t generic. They are actually oddly specific. To the point where you can name individual people in your examples. Many of these would be edge cases even among people with BPD. Also I feel the need to point out you (improperly) using the word triggered is more manipulation. Doing so you’re trying to imply me reaction is the problem. As opposed to the problem being you trying to pass an opinion as some kind of objective analysis.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/12/21 03:53 PM
12

OP also uses typical “I can’t prove any of this so I’ll word it very carefully to make it sound convincing” language. Words like “probably” and “most of” wouldn’t be necessary if he could actually point to valid data points. I dated someone with BPD for 4 years. It’s a serious thing to deal with. But based on what OP said, I’m let sure they have zero real life experience dealing with someone diagnosed with BPD.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/12/21 02:55 PM
16

Yeah it’s really hard to “not hate the player” when so many of the players will jump at the chance to insult and demean women at the slightest provocation. I would love to just let these people flail around trying to adhere to some kind of doctrine. But the very nature of TRP allows them to always blame someone else. It’s never their fault when they can’t get laid. Its always things they have no control over that’s the sole reason. It’s a convenient excuse to never reflect and grow as a person.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/12/21 05:40 PM
11

In an ideal world yes. In practice most of the time the RP side is just guys waiting for any opportunity to shout down a dissenting opinion and be dismissive and claim women couldn’t possibly understand where it’s like living as a man these days or something along those lines. The irony is I DO know what it’s like. Having seen both sides of the coin first hand, the male self-victimization in these particular groups is real.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/12/21 08:21 PM
3

Leykis also didn’t bother with pretense or mask intentions. His whole persona was “you want to bang women, listen to me. If you want to know how to be in a long term relationship, don’t listen to me.” I remember him having to explain this to a caller once. He said something like “I’m twice divorced and in my third marriage. I definitely don’t know how to keep a marriage going. My advice is strictly how to get sex.”
/r/PurplePillDebate29/11/21 04:31 PM
5

It’s a terrible idea. The risk far outweighs the reward unless you hate or just don’t give a shit about your job. Hell I go one step farther, I won’t friend or follow anyone I directly work with on social media. I won’t hang out with anyone I work with outside of work functions unless we actually have legitimate mutual interests.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/11/21 07:30 PM
1

The notion that these guys have that women are going around banging everyone but them is rooted in such profound insecurity and paranoia. I would laugh if it wasn’t so sad.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/11/21 06:34 PM
1

Very rare I would say. Something my (male) cousin once said to me always stuck with me. “No guy wants to be friends with the ugly girl.” It’s only one guys view granted, but it’s been pretty applicable over the course of my life. When a guy is “just friends” with a girl, there’s almost always some kind of inhibitor keeping it that way.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/11/21 02:13 PM
1

Was gonna say I’ve never met a man who was “friends” with a woman they wouldn’t fuck given the slightest opportunity. That’s not friendship.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/11/21 01:54 PM
1

I’m of the mind that even if you are happy, even if you think you don’t need it, even if you’ve never felt better in you life, you should be going to therapy once every month or two if you can afford it. It’s like a mental wellness check. Go see a doctor a few times a year, go see a therapist a few times a year.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/11/21 06:47 PM
0

Your nitpicking a single sentence to try and start an argument. Be better.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/11/21 06:45 PM
4

This and only this. This girl is basically condemning any form of self improvement. It’s the thought process of someone who never emotionally matured past high school.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/11/21 01:24 PM
2

Having grown up in Detroit this is spot on. I was part of the local heavy metal scene, you find yourself in some really dingy dive clubs and bars in some of the deepest most poverty stricken areas of the city doing that. You avoid the gang bangers and drug dealers because they are fucking gang bangers and drug dealers. You know they have a gun on them and you know they have used it. Ironically they also didn’t mess with us. Because to them we were those crazy white kids (we were in our 20’s at t…
/r/PurplePillDebate12/11/21 02:35 PM
1

That’s fare. Though in some ways I can’t help but think that makes it worse. It suggests the possibility that trp has a lot of cult dynamics. Specifically preying on and manipulating emotionally vulnerable people. Cause let’s be real, if someone has just gone through a divorce they are emotionally vulnerable. The other take would be that these divorced men really are just misogynistic and want full control over their spouse, that they don’t actually view women as people but as resources to be ha…
/r/PurplePillDebate08/11/21 01:16 PM
9

People like you are the reason people view TRP as a bunch of angry 17 year olds at best, and a bunch of antiquated misogynists too emotionally broken to ever be in a healthy relationship at worst. So good on you for embodying the stereotype I guess?
/r/PurplePillDebate08/11/21 12:39 PM
2

I think that’s a big issue that I find so repellant about it. The attempt to discuss fairly nebulous concepts like sexuality and attraction in some hyper measurable and analytical way. It likes to ignore the pieces that don’t fit into the ideology because it’s not treated like an idea, but as some absolute faith. There’s also the issue that while there’s no way of really confirming it in my end, I question if some red pillers are even old enough to have ever been in a long term relationship in t…
/r/PurplePillDebate08/11/21 01:57 AM
0

I’m going to ignore the entire middle part of you comment. We aren’t talking about marriage or commitment. We’re talking about sex. This is the problem with talking about sex with most people. They are absolutely incapable of thinking of sex as it’s our distinct thing. There’s nothing wrong with wanting to wait to have sex until you’re comfortable. But again if you need 6,7,8 months to get to know someone? That’s intensive fear and uncertainty. If you want to have sex and deny yourself it on som…
/r/PurplePillDebate05/11/21 02:09 PM
1

Let’s talk with the assumption that both people are responsible adults taking all necessary precautions and not use a binary “worst case scenario” argument. If someone doesn’t think sexy it’s worth those risks no matter the precautions taken, then they falls into the “not consenting” category and should be respected. But those risks don’t magically go away after dating someone for 6 months. So if it’s taking someone 6 months to feel the risks are worth it, something else is going on in their hea…
/r/PurplePillDebate05/11/21 12:57 PM
5

I would argue that even above average men struggle with OLD. As it’s inherently skewed towards physical appearance. When the same above average guy would fare much better in person. In person you only have to complete with some (not even all) of the other single guys in the room. As opposed to having to compete with every single guy in the city with a tinder account.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/11/21 07:28 PM
-1

1-2 months isn’t entirely unreasonable. Though I don’t personally understand it. I hold to it most people decide within 30 minutes of meeting someone if they would have sex with them. I just never understood putting a hard timeline on sex. Especially if both of them want to have it. If two consenting adults want to have sex, they should have it as long as they are on the same page as to what it means for any future interactions.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/11/21 07:12 PM
3

It was more a sideways means of complimenting her. You’re right he could be male model hot. But let me ask you, how many guys that are that attractive have you met that are that humble? In my experience guys like that won’t typically give a line like that they could “lessen” themselves. Hell I’ve know slightly above average guys that won’t say something like that. So if OP did in fact find someone that attractive and that humble I hope she goes for it.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/11/21 06:07 PM
6

Sorry I creeped your post history after you said that. I think he met be right about you being out of his league haha. I’m not exactly the audience you were asking. But honestly the right amount of dates is the number it takes to where you both want to do it. Just do it with the mind set that it’s sex and nothing more. It doesn’t mean they will ghost you the next day, it doesn’t mean they want a relationship with you. Do it because you want to, not because you expect something to happen afterwar…
/r/PurplePillDebate01/11/21 03:23 PM
3

That’s just awful. Just how people like to throw around the term “toxic masculinity”, “toxic femininity” is just as much a thing. Your ex is a perfect example of it.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/10/21 07:15 PM
2

As someone who used to play live music, I absolutely believe this without question. Anytime someone approached me after playing I was always awkward and anxious. It didn’t matter who it why, it was always “oh god what do I say? What do I do? Why do they even want to talk to me?” I learned pretty quick that most musicians are just normal people with the same hang ups as everyone else, they are just good at writing and performing music.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/10/21 12:50 PM
1

Your perspective is measurably wrong. People on here have literally told you what the average OF account pulls in a month. It’s way way less than the federal minimum wage. It’s so little you wouldn’t have to claim it on your taxes.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/10/21 04:07 PM
2

But it’s still less than a minimum wage job for 99.5% of them. The part time college kid flipping burgers is making more money than the vast majority of OF girls. Your argument is only valid if you ignore reality and only view of in a contextless bubble.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/10/21 05:50 PM
0

If someone at any age thinks they can’t have an “enjoyable real life” because they aren’t getting sex needs help. Someone who’s only been legally able to have sex in most places for a year complaining about the same thing really needs help. Anyone lamenting the fact that they weren’t having sex by the age of 14 desperately needs help.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/10/21 09:37 PM
3

This this this. Men who have given up? Honestly I feel bad for them. Men who have given up then bitterly blame everyone and everything else and lash out at anyone who would suggest maybe there’s things they could do to improve themselves? They deserve the venom.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/09/21 02:12 PM
2

I think Hanlon’s Razor is applicable here. Never attribute malice when stupidity or ignorance is a sufficient answer.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/09/21 04:40 PM
9

You would be surprised how many women are oblivious to this with guy friends until you point it out to them. Met several over the years that tried to “oh we’re just friends” argument. I asked them if she offered to give any of her straight single male friends oral, does she honestly believe any of them would say “oh no thanks, we’re just friends right?” They usually have no retort to that.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/09/21 01:50 PM
7

Agreed, never settle for being the backup plan. People should have more self respect than that.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/09/21 01:35 PM
1

That’s what I’m trying to get at. The guys who engage and are fun to be around and do it well, it’s not a performance. It’s not work, it’s not effort to them. It’s why they are, they see genuinely having fun. It’s not to impress anyone. There’s the mental disconnect; you’re assuming because it’s an effort for you, that it would be a performance to you, that it is for every guy. It’s not. I agree on you last part though. A woman who’s fun and has a great personality and is good looking has a huge…
/r/PurplePillDebate20/09/21 08:25 PM
1

You’re right for all the wrong reasons. This isn’t a women thing, it’s a human thing. People don’t notice what they don don’t notice. If your aren’t noticeable, you don’t get what you want. This applies to getting a good job, getting a promotion, getting a girlfriend/boyfriend. It applies to any situation where you want something that other people also want. Also claiming women done have to do anything is incredibly short sighted. It’s entirely ignoring the hours (and money) it takes to look goo…
/r/PurplePillDebate20/09/21 07:23 PM
0

This just sounds like someone complaining about the fact that some guys have better social skills than others and trying to blame women for it.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/09/21 06:06 PM
-1

What type would that be? Friendly, talkative, interesting, genuine, secure, and generally pleasant to be around? If someone can’t manage that, dating isn’t their only problem.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/09/21 04:10 PM
1

You’re talking like having to have a personality is some grave injustice. Everyone should have one of those in every interaction in every situation, not just dating. Most people aren’t attractive enough to get noticed without a personality.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/09/21 04:03 PM
4

Completely disagree. It’s just as important for guys to grab attention in social situations. The guy who’s being entertaining and engaging is far more likely to have their name remembered than the guy who’s just standing in the crowd nodding while other people are talking.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/09/21 03:06 PM
4

I rarely actually disregard the OP on posts like this myself. But their does seem to be a good chunk of men on here who comment that really are just whining and complaining. The ones that will jump down the throat of any women who disagree. But the guy won’t actually bring any tangible points to the argument. They will just say “you’re wrong” and follow it up with a bunch of personal attacks and sexist comments. It would be so much easier to take them seriously if they were actually even trying …
/r/PurplePillDebate17/09/21 07:07 PM
–

Wasn’t a guy, and she broke up with me after I refused to give into an unrelated ultimatum. The financials were only a small part of it. She made 4 times what I did, yet was incapable of saving any amount of money. I was pulling out money to keep her from downing in puddles faster than I could save it. We broke up almost 3 years ago and she’s still basically living paycheck to paycheck despite making more than enough to have decent nest egg.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/09/21 04:16 AM
1

This is similar to how an ex is mine did. We were together for 7 years. We never had a shared account or access to each others accounts. But we knew hit much the other made and what we were both expected to contribute to the bills. They made considerably more than me, so they handled most of the major bills while I took care of a lot of the day to day expenses and handled all my own personal bills. Anything left over was ours to spend on whatever we wanted.. Ironically sharing more financial inf…
/r/PurplePillDebate15/09/21 08:15 PM
2

I couldn’t read past the 4th sentence before being absolutely disgusted with her entitled, self importance. This is the perfect example of what to strive to NEVER be ladies.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/09/21 12:54 PM
5

Then maybe don’t ask a bunch of questions if you’re not looking to have a discussion in good faith…on a website that’s literally about having discussions. All it does is make it look like you were speaking in rhetoric to get one over on me.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/09/21 05:07 PM
4

Oh boy strap in because this is gonna be a long one. Let’s start with the basics. A black family living in white upper class suburbia. A place where they will feel like outsiders under the best of circumstances. But it’s far from that, the only reason they are able to be there is from a family tragedy that landed them a lot of money. This is exactly how suburbs around major cities like Chicago and Detroit with a large black population is. Black families are viewed as oddities and curiosities. Th…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/09/21 02:42 PM
2

The difference is Boondocks was written and created by a black man who grew up in the kind of environment and has a degree in African America studies. There’s few people more qualified than him to write a show like Boondocks. He also knew how to tread the line of satire that doesn’t jump over into parody. While also mixing in things that were relatable to a wide audience. Where BBT was created by a career sitcom writer who’s credentials include shows like Dharma and Greg, Grace Under Fire, and T…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/09/21 01:08 PM
12

I’ll be honest, the show mildly offended me. It’s a bunch of actors “dressed down” and playing caricatures of what the writers think nerds are like so the audience can laugh at them. Some of it has nuggets of truth buried in the depictions, but it’s cranked up so hard that it was never really genuine. I’ve heard the term “nerd black face” used a lot when people talk about that show. That may be a little harsh, as it’s about hobbies and interests, not race. With is why I say only mildly insulting…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/09/21 04:47 AM
2

Because it’s over simplifying it. Like I said it’s usually a webwork of several issues over the course of years that a person is failing to deal with that leads to suicide. Trying to apply it to one factor and ignoring all others is disingenuous, as well as demeaning to people that have/are dealing with suicidal thoughts that have nothing to do with being in a relationship or not.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/09/21 07:34 PM
1

You’re entire negative and combative attitude in this entire thread? If you show even a fraction of this side of yourself to a potential date, they would go running.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/09/21 05:20 PM
1

I’ve reiterated the same points over and over, not sure how they moving the goal posts. My point is that this kind of mentality is heading in the exact opposite direction of a good relationship. Because it starts and ends with the other person. As opposed to starting with you like it should and working outward like it should.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/09/21 05:04 PM
1

You’re right it absolutely can be overall. But it won’t always be even if it is. Their will be times when you’re miserable and stressed. Other life problems done get any easier just cause you’re in a relationship. That’s the dirty little secret no one ever wants to admit. Life in a relationship isn’t all the different than life being single. You’re mostly just doing the same stuff you would do single, there’s just someone else (who’s company you hopefully enjoy) around more often. A relationship…
/r/PurplePillDebate08/09/21 04:52 PM
3

Overall I agree. Just seems people who do are in a concentrated amount in this sub.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/09/21 04:42 PM
1

Then you’re chasing dragons, this golden image of a relationship that doesn’t exist. No relationship is without issues, every partner will have traits you don’t like, every relationship takes effort and compromise. All of them. You’re flippant attitude about having a positive, mentality, emotionally healthy attitude is only proving my point. That you have a lot of things you need to work in about yourself. No you can’t just snap your fingers and have a more positive outlook. It takes years of se…
/r/PurplePillDebate08/09/21 04:26 PM
1

Again, negativity. No one wants to date that. Again the egocentric mentality. You need to all yourself how are you going to make your partner happy with that kind of attitude? Because again, it’s not just about you. Your stuck in binary. Tell that to someone who just got out of a 10 year relationship they felt stuck in. I bet you they are gonna say they are much happier now than they were in the relationship. Wraps right back around to if your happiness hinges on bring in a relationship, you sho…
/r/PurplePillDebate08/09/21 04:11 PM
1

But…they CAN be. Again, happiness isn’t binary, their are gradients. If you can’t be happy single, that’Sa testament to where you as an individual are mentally and emotionally, and maybe that’s a sign to do some deep dive introspection as to why.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/09/21 03:51 PM
1

As others have pointed out, happiness isn’t binary. If someone CANNOT be happy at all unless in a relationship, then they have unhealthy attachment issues.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/09/21 02:14 PM
2

That’s kind of my points. The information is useless to the individual. It means nothing to a family with 1 child. So no one should go into a home and just assume their will be 2-3 kids running around. Just like no one should go into a dating environment and make assumptions on what will happen based on broad statistical data points.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/09/21 02:08 PM
1

Then they need to seriously examine why they so desperately want a LTR. People are notoriously bad at knowing what will make them happy. If they are indeed that desperate I would bet money they are unhappy with other aspects of their life and misreading what’s actually going on in their head. Happy but single people don’t constantly bemoan the fact they are single. They are too busy living a single life they are happy to have.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/09/21 01:53 PM
5

Thank you. Pulling the “suicide because single” card is so disingenuous. People who commit suicide also tend to have few or no friends, no family support, and untreated anxiety and depression. It’s a complex issue that builds up over the course of years until they hit a tipping point.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/09/21 01:34 PM
1

Yeah that first paragraph was deliberately nit picky to see if you would actually look past the useless analogy and read/address the rest of the comment. Which you didn’t even acknowledge. And again your bringing “long term” into the discussion now. You’re literally doing exactly what I said so many so on this sub. You’ve bounced from dating, to sex, to long term comment to comment. Which are you talking about? Sex doesn’t mean you’re dating. You don’t have to go on dates to get sex. Dates don’t…
/r/PurplePillDebate07/09/21 07:20 PM
1

Who expects steak at a bbq? If you’re expecting a steak, I’m going to assume you paid for it. Otherwise why would you expect it over say hamburgers and hot dogs which is far more likely. Yes, you are conflating the two. Admitting a man will have sex with a woman they don’t particularly like, it’s just about sex at that point. It has nothing to do with dating or relationships. The fact that some guys are willing to lower their personal dignity and fuck someone with a detestable personality says a…
/r/PurplePillDebate07/09/21 04:32 PM
3

This is similar to my argument that wide reaching statistic mean jack shit to an individual. One I like to point out is if the average number of children in a household is 2.5, obviously this can’t be taken literally. Nobody has a bisected child running around. But this tricks the mind into assuming the average is 2 or 3. When in reality the true numbers could be overwhelmingly 1 and 4. It’s a perfect example of how statistical data can lie to you and give an individual the wrong idea of the way…
/r/PurplePillDebate07/09/21 03:28 PM
1

You’re right plenty of women still want to know how well off a guy is. But it’s becoming less and less about “what can you provide for me” and more about “are you going to be a lead weight around my neck? Or can you take care of yourself?” Most guys seem to just accept the weight around their neck as long as it’s a pretty one when they really shouldn’t. You’ve kind of proven my point about how people conflate “sex” and “dating”, because that’s exactly what you just did. Your example is “sex is t…
/r/PurplePillDebate07/09/21 01:42 PM
0

90% is being hyperbolic if you’re specifically talking guys that genuinely want a long term relationship. But it’s very hard to say because I see “dating”, “relationship “, and “sex” all being used as if they mean the same thing a lot on here. Far as “security and provisioning”. That’s true to an extent, but it’s becoming less so every year. Plenty of women are capable of being self sustaining. Combine this with the fact that people are getting married and having kids later in life because of ec…
/r/PurplePillDebate07/09/21 03:21 AM
6

I literally had a man on here once claim the primary reason to get into a long term relationship is to get consistent sex over time (paraphrasing). Maybe it’s not 90% of it for all men. But it certainly seems like that’s the case with the ones that like to argue. That or they are really bad at communicating their point. Or both.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/09/21 02:39 AM
1

It’s almost universally a bad idea. It’s a matter of asking yourself “if this person/relationship worth losing my job over?” because that’s the worst case scenario. Even if I’d not against company policy, you work life can still me made a nightmare to the point where you get even out. The only way this should ever be considered is if you work has something in place to minimize drama and conflicts of interest. Where I work if romantic interest to happen, you’re obligated to inform HR about it. On…
/r/PurplePillDebate03/09/21 01:20 PM
4

Uhh I’m not sure how to say this without it sounding like a personal attack, but here it goes: you are all over the place, your post and comments are doing a terrible job at conveying what you’re even getting at or what your stance is. I honestly can’t tell if you’re saying is not okay that we have better laws in place to prevent gambling scams than we do sexual assault. Or if you’re saying we shouldn’t have these laws at all and should just be like “you knew the risks, sucks to be you.” You are…
/r/PurplePillDebate02/09/21 11:36 PM
5

That’s “exactly” what your doing, yet the word “rape” never once is said in your entire long winded post. It speaks volumes without saying a thing. Also again I’m confused with your comparison. They just don’t make sense because they are false equivalencies. You would have an easier time convincing me letting you dog shit in the sidewalk without cleaning it up is the same as robbing a bank.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/09/21 11:18 PM
14

Right there with you. Comparing gambling to sex is such a huge huge stretch. It also really sounds like OP is trying to compare rape to being scammed in a game of poker without coming out and just saying it, because when you try and actually say it out loud any rational person knows how absurd it sounds.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/09/21 10:34 PM
4

Yeah the nuances of a specific situation matter of course. Like you may be more than willing to take on a parental role at first, only to find that the kid has some serious behavioral issues or that the mom is actually a shit parent. But my underlying point is if you’re not willing to eventually become some form of parental figure, don’t date a single parent. If your a single parent, don’t set the expectation that a potential long term partner will never have to be a parental figure, because soo…
/r/PurplePillDebate02/09/21 03:10 PM
11

That still ultimately leads to one of two outcomes. Either breaking up, or becoming a parental figure for their child. There’s no such thing as a long term relationship where you’re not involved in the child’s life in a significant way. The one slight exception is if the child is old enough to take care of themselves. So 15 out older. Even then you’re still involved, just not in the same way.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/09/21 02:56 PM
2

I get where you’re coming from, but I feel it’s the opposite. What we think is what matters in this context. If what she means isn’t coming across properly, it’s on her to change that to correctly convey what she means. One shouldn’t expect the cultural zeitgeist to bend around their idea of what something means.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/09/21 02:52 PM
7

I’m not going to visit the intentions of a random profile. By modern parlance when someone uses that term it’s to mean “a new father for my child”. Anyone using it for any other meaning should really really reconsider, because that’s what most people are going to assume.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/09/21 02:39 PM
13

I don’t even know if misleading quite covers it. It’s a cognitive dissonance that I feel is used to lie to themselves. If a single mother is looking for a real long term relationship, they are by default looking for someone to at least be half a parent. It’s not possible to get that involved with someone and not have to take on some level of parental responsibilities. It’s just something that will naturally happen. I feel saying “I’m not looking for a baby daddy” and saying “I want more than a F…
/r/PurplePillDebate02/09/21 02:27 PM
3

It’s a trend I’ve been noticing on dating advice subs. No ones just willing to say “I’m just looking for sex”. They dance around it then get pissy when they get actual dating advice. In some ways I would say if all a guy wants is sex? Yeah maybe he could just listen to guys who’s lives are filled with one night stands and short term flings. But in my experience most of the advice they give still requires one, to have an incredibly magnetic personality. Two, most of the tactics are proven to be d…
/r/PurplePillDebate02/09/21 12:20 PM
12

Because in this sub, you do need to ask specific questions. The number of people I’ve seen on this sub that talk as if sex, dating, and long term relationships are all the same thing is….unsettlingly high.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/09/21 12:09 PM
0

If you think that’s ambiguous I don’t know what to tell you other than developing personality traits isn’t like building a shelf from ikea. You’re not going to get a step by step inspection manual in how to do it. As per usual the argumentative types on here don’t want to actually but in any personal thought into things. They just want to be led by the nose and be told what to do.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/08/21 01:50 AM
21

I wear make up. Believe me when I say the last thing on my mind when doing it is “men will think I’m hot.” I may be in the minority on this next part. But it’s got an artistic quality I like. The sheer number of things you can experiment with and modulate and alter for a specific look to match what you’re going to be doing or to match an outfit. For me the end goal isn’t attention. It’s to look in the mirror and be able to say “damn I love how I look.” Huge confidence booster.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/08/21 05:50 PM
1

That is admittedly a bit of a…poetic flourish that may be misinterpreted. Well the opposite of “strong and vibrant” in this case would be “bland and forgettable”. Presences would be a more solid word instead of vibrant. A lot of guys on these advice subs seem to have some deep seated self image issues. That commanding any kind of attention is being egotistical or overbearing, to the point where they aren’t doing nearly as much as they think they are. Like if a guy mostly just stands there smilin…
/r/PurplePillDebate25/08/21 02:33 PM
2

Correct. So while I’ll never claim to fully understand either side of things, because even as a guy my entire experience was colored with the sense of “something is off here.” But I do like to think it gives me a unique perspective.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/08/21 09:34 PM
1

Because the answer feels like a “gotcha” or like I’m weaponizing a part of myself. But I’m going to take the question in good faith. So all I ask is you keep that in mind if you decide to reply. It’s not that I have experience approaching men. It’s that I have experience approaching women as a man. Several decades of it in fact. So I can relate to the anxiety and stress and fear of having to perfectly represent yourself in under a minute out of fear of being labeled a creep. Hell I still have to…
/r/PurplePillDebate24/08/21 09:13 PM
1

I agree and “creep” shouldn’t be default assumption. But remember if you’re cold approaching a total stranger, they don’t know what your intention is. As unfair s as it may be. You’re the one approaching, it’s on you to diffuse and preconceptions or assumptions, and you have about 90 seconds to do it. Is that fair? Not really. But remember that if their default is “creep”, that’s a reflection of their experiences and people telling them to assume that. Just like you feeling like a creep for even…
/r/PurplePillDebate24/08/21 08:27 PM
4

It’s making broad stroke statements like this that’s the problem. Define “extremely common” in a measurable way in relation to exactly what the guy is saying/doing and the location, time of day, and who else is around. I would actually ask you how many times you’ve personally been called a literal creep to your face by a woman you’ve approached in person. I would argue most guys making these claims can’t even give a sample size of 10 women.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/08/21 07:47 PM
4

Wouldn’t that invalidate like 90% of the comments on this sub then?
/r/PurplePillDebate24/08/21 07:24 PM
1

That’s….an awkward question that literally can’t be applied to me without a lot of reframing.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/08/21 07:19 PM
5

To an extent I would agree. But only to an extent. Being more attractive gives you more wiggle room in case you fumble. But it’s not going to save you if your just being a blatant creep. Like the real world equivalent of the guy who sends unsolicited dick pics. Looks are a buffer on approach. But on the other hand, most of my friends are guys. Most of them are only slightly above average at best. Two of them are what I would call conventionally attractive, but they are both also incredibly chari…
/r/PurplePillDebate24/08/21 07:14 PM
5

That’s ironic coming from someone who has deflected , projected, and ignored every point I’ve made in the last 3 comments. It’s always the same. Lots of finger pointing and defeatism. Zero acknowledgement that their could possibly be something you could be doing different. Because that gives you power and responsibility, and that scares you, because it means you can screw. Easier to just say Theres nothing you can do, that you have no control over anything right? Then when someone like me brings…
/r/PurplePillDebate24/08/21 05:43 PM
5

I didn’t because it has a 5 minutes ad I can’t skip because I can’t log into my YT at work. Even then it’s SNL. I can’t imagine a single thing from a source like that that would convince me of anything. The opinions is celebrities and comedians who’s entire job is to lampoon and poke fun at society isn’t a proper measuring stick.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/08/21 05:22 PM
1

You feel like a bad person because you’ve convinced yourself simply engaging with another human being is harassing them, before you even do it. This is you telling yourself this. It’s literally a voice in your head. Ask yourself this; is it really your voice you’re hearing? Or is it someone else’s? If it causes you so much anxiety and stress and self doubt that you put the expectations of the entirety of society on your shoulders, then I suggest examining that. Fact is it’s just one person tryin…
/r/PurplePillDebate24/08/21 05:15 PM
4

Do they though? Sounds more like something one would say in their head to fill in a blank. But that’s not actually the other person talking, it’s you. Even if that is what they think, so what? Are you really that concerned that someone you’ve interacted with for 10 seconds and will never see again mistakes your confidence for arrogance?
/r/PurplePillDebate24/08/21 04:29 PM
24

There’s some level of truth of this. Being worried about coming across as creepy, makes you come across as creepy. Being casual and comfortable with your approach makes others more comfortable. There’s no awkward tension due to the mental block of “this person thinks I’m being creepy.”
/r/PurplePillDebate24/08/21 03:50 PM
2

It’s a little different for me since all my closest friends are guys. But I would say yes, because we are a diverse group. You could actually put us all in a circle in a particular order and the people next to you would be of similar personality, the father asking the circle you went the less true that became. Until the person directly across from you was very much your opposite. None of them were perfect. But you don’t stay friends with people for 20+ years if they have nothing to offer. Same l…
/r/PurplePillDebate24/08/21 03:32 PM
1

You entirely missed the nuances of what I was saying and leapt to absolute one way statements. Read it again without assuming I’m strictly talking about women, also read it without assuming it’s a binary “1 or 10” with all the factors I mentioned.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/08/21 10:13 PM
3

For sure, it’s not damning in and of itself. But it can be a sign of manipulative behavior to watch out for.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/08/21 09:05 PM
6

I’ve found that to almost universally to be the case in almost every sub where men and women interactions are discussed. You see it a LOT on dating and relationship subs. The fact that posts are almost always something like “I’m 23 and my spouse of 3 years (who’s usually the same age or significantly older) did X” lends weight to that.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/08/21 05:06 PM
4

Thank you. It drives me crazy when people try to equate a sexual encounter to getting married. Anyone who looks at a marriage partner and only looks at how physically attractive they are or how much they like having sex with them is going to have a dysfunctional marriage. The car analogy falls into the same trap. As people get older what they want out of life changes. Most realize that they would rather spend the life with someone they find reasonably attractive, kind, fun to be around, and stab…
/r/PurplePillDebate23/08/21 01:24 PM
–

That’s true. Though I think these dispassionate nation wide analytics only produce inaccurate excuses for some people. If a nation wide study finds that most women prefer a man who makes at least 60k a year, it’s very easy for a guy who only makes 35k a year to say “well that’s it, that’s the reason I can’t get a date/girlfriend/sex.” But then someone can go “the average income of a man in your state (in the US) is 40k a year. The marriage rates in your state have gone up year over year for the …
/r/PurplePillDebate20/08/21 04:59 PM
–

I don’t disagree with that. But it needs to be done on good faith that people can’t and won’t be applying it to their personal individualistic life experiences. Because contrary to popular belief. Two personal view points that seem to contradict each other, can in fact both be true for those individual people.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/08/21 04:43 PM
5

This absolute standard doesn’t make any sense. If a guy has had sex with 60+ women by the time he was 23, but has never had a threesome, he’s a failure sexually? Even though he’s already had sex with more women than most men will in their entire life? There’s no absolute measurement. This isn’t objective science. The “bar” is as much personal as it is cultural.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/08/21 02:32 PM
6

Well said. I’ve had threesomes, I’ve had foursomes, I’ve done…other things that probably aren’t appropriate to mention here. Point is in practice threesomes and foursomes are messy, logistically confusing, there’s usually a lot of downtime because there’s not a lot for you to do. It’s a lot more effort for significantly less sexual pleasure.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/08/21 02:25 PM
4

Because it’s ultimately still a self centered and defeatist mentality. “because I can’t singles handedly fix everything like a super hero, there’s no point in trying.” Which is real ironic because they managed to start a whole movement and ideology because so many of them agreed that things were messed up.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/08/21 04:18 PM
2

So as long as your not a psychopath being comfortable with being your honest self will yield the best results in a relationship? Color me shocked (I am in no way shocked).
/r/PurplePillDebate17/08/21 03:51 PM
7

True, but we aren’t talking about the writer himself in this context. We’re talking about people who have adopted it to “sell” an ideology. Psychologically speaking it’s using the same tactic. If this one anecdotal story won’t convince someone, it’s unlikely anything after it will.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/08/21 03:31 PM
7

As someone who writes, has taken writing work shops, had my work critiqued and had long conversations with published authors, you absolutely want someone to judge a book based on the first chapter. Less than the first chapter actually. It’s called “the first 5”. The first 5 sentences should make them want to read the first 5 paragraphs, the first 5 paragraphs should make them want to read the first 5 pages, the first 5 pages should make them want to read the first 5 chapters. Is someone reads th…
/r/PurplePillDebate16/08/21 03:05 PM
6

People pleaser symptom. It’s definitely a common thing especially in women, and people who were raised by emotionally neglectful parents. The worst part is is seen as a positive thing by others and encouraged. But in reality it makes people prone to attracting users and people who don’t respect personal boundaries.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/08/21 06:27 PM
10

Makes wonder if it’s more an axis of ignorant/informed and insecure/confident. Mike an ignorant and confident person is more likely to be benevolently sexist. Where a reasonable informed and confident person may just have mildly sexist tendencies. Where an informed and insecure person is more likely to be hostile and manipulative. Just pondering at this point.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/08/21 04:45 PM
24

I find it interesting that what basically amounts to low confidence is a common factor in hostile sexism. Bit high confidence doesn’t seem to be a common factor in either. Makes me wonder what the common factor for benevolent sexism is.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/08/21 02:40 PM
8

I think this also undercuts other serious points. It insinuates that just because a woman is older that they aren’t able to be manipulated or emotionally abused (they are). It suggests that younger men can’t be predators, abusers, or manipulators (they can). Also the meeting people based on personality and interests is a great point. I have several friendships that started from my hobbies. Several of these friends are much younger and much older than me. We never ever would have met or talked to…
/r/PurplePillDebate03/08/21 12:12 PM
You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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