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CamusSeesSumac Archive

View 2 posts and 152 comments by CamusSeesSumac on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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Upvotes Title Category Author Subreddit Date (UTC)
28

CamusSeesSumac/r/RedPillWomen06/04/16 07:32 PM
12

DISCUSSIONCamusSeesSumac/r/RedPillWomen27/12/15 01:00 AM
Upvotes Comment on Subreddit Date (UTC)
1

I agree with this. Don't hide it - that's weak and deceptive.
/r/RedPillWomen13/04/16 10:05 PM
1

Is he a professional or a hobbyist? If he's a hobbyist, you're not getting anything out of this. Ask him to take them down and delete them IMO. If he's a professional (he does it for a living) on the other hand, this is a weakness you can play as a strength. I don't agree with those that are saying it's always negative, no matter what. Just be confident and not confessional about it. "Yeah, I modeled nude. The pictures are up online. He's a fantastic photographer and his work was featured in xyz…
/r/RedPillWomen13/04/16 10:03 PM
1

As an alternate to my other reply, maybe branding makes sense as a metaphor in that a woman can be a commodity OR a brand. She can sell herself as animal feed, or choose to be Pepsi. Takes patience and branding, but it's possible.
/r/RedPillWomen07/04/16 03:49 AM
1

That's fair - and durable good is temporally a better metaphor anyway. What implications do you see for strategy? What I am thinking here is that women looking for an LTR ought to be the best of an archetype - housewife, creative sort, career woman, and so on. And category performance for LTR's matters more than it does for hookups. A housewife is dumb to invest too much in her job or dye her hair wild colors, but a creative archetype may lose her appeal/sparkle if she goes mousy brown.
/r/RedPillWomen07/04/16 03:32 AM
1

Do you like chatting and walking to class with him? Why haven't you gotten a pair of headphones and started walking faster, if not? If not, then he's your friend, don't make fun of him.
/r/RedPillWomen06/04/16 11:09 PM
1

This is SO funny.
/r/RedPillWives06/04/16 10:56 PM
2

What does he do? I wouldn't be rude but I wouldn't encourage it.
/r/RedPillWomen06/04/16 10:17 PM
0

I know very little about carpentry - does it operate as a sort of apprentice system? A lot of careers are like this, and it's a bit like graduate school, where you work too hard and make too little, but there's a discreet jump to a better life once you have sufficient experience. So maybe all the work he's putting in now will give him enough contacts and experience to start a business in a few years. Is so: Perhaps you can encourage him by letting him know you understand it's a journey and you a…
/r/RedPillWomen06/04/16 10:14 PM
3

I started typing more of an explanation, but stopped because I didn't want to get too wordy without some initial feedback! :) Anyway, I think the cars vs corn comparison is what I'm going for. No expert on cars, but I want an American car, I may be able to afford a brand new Mustang, or maybe I can only afford a used beat-up model from the 90's. But maybe I hate American cars and I value the reliability of Hondas. Or maybe I am an environment fanatic and want a Tesla and all of the above options…
/r/RedPillWomen06/04/16 10:10 PM
3

I saw it a month or two back and I completely changed the way I speak. Love it!
/r/RedPillWives06/04/16 07:32 PM
3

This comic changed my life.
/r/RedPillWives06/04/16 07:21 PM
1

Have you met any guys at school? Do you go to events and make friends in class?
/r/RedPillWomen06/04/16 07:19 PM
1

Are you in school?
/r/RedPillWomen06/04/16 02:09 PM
2

I worry sometimes that while a generalized RP strategy is process-oriented, RPW has been goal-oriented. This, in my opinion, is not how it should be, because it essentially puts convincing others that you have accomplished the goal of feminine perfection above continually striving to be better, and discussing how. Eg locking down a marriage vs becoming more attractive constantly. Perhaps this is connected in some sense to an idea that RPW is normative - that is, if we look at a binary yes/no wit…
/r/RedPillWomen06/04/16 12:27 PM
6

Sleeping around is gross to me, for men and women. I don't want to hear about it or be with guys who do it, even if other women are into them. I also think men who are too forward can easily be sleazy to me. Being passionate and interested in hobbies and work is attractive to me. I don't want to be with a guy who is playing games with me, but it's attractive if he is so obsessed with work and so into his hobbies that he has to fit me in. Being emotionally intelligent is attractive to me. It's a …
/r/RedPillWomen05/04/16 11:52 PM
1

I know my boyfriend won't LEAVE. But he will spend more time at work, with friends, and on hobbies. I nearly always want to spend more time with him than he does. It is frustrating but I definitely couldn't be attracted to someone who was needier than I was. I've dated guys who were obsessed with me and it grossed me out.
/r/RedPillWomen05/04/16 11:47 PM
1

Actually, this is an interesting point. I think "team woman" is something I find really valuable in a one-on-one conversation with other women. I have a lot of anxiety and I find it soothing. Weirdly, it has the opposite effect in a group. This is especially true on the Internet. Groups tend to encourage the "you have a huge problem, and something needs to CHANGE" thought pattern. It's a kind of groupthink, where people want to catastrophize their advice in order to stand out. Individuals tend t…
/r/RedPillWomen31/03/16 01:05 AM
2

Perhaps you need to stop visiting her home. Host at yours or go to coffee/movies/shopping together. Be a role model and don't stress about her decisions.
/r/RedPillWomen29/02/16 02:02 AM
3

I think seldom is an overstatement but we have so little information that I don't care to speculate.
/r/RedPillWomen29/02/16 02:01 AM
1

To me, this comes down to knowing what makes you tick and feel like you really click with someone (man or woman, friendly or romantic) and putting yourself in situations where that happens often. Different people shine in different situations - what makes you light up? Like let's say it's a sport - maybe this involves a compliment on a good shot paid towards someone who's in your night league. Maybe it's your church and it involves noticing a new member and welcoming them. Maybe you're a sociali…
/r/RedPillWomen26/02/16 09:47 PM
1

Were you saying that your friends go clubbing in an argumentative way?
/r/RedPillWomen26/02/16 09:41 PM
2

Why not transfer to where he is? I think having kids early can be a good model. I also think it's good for all women to have the ability to be financially self-sufficient.
/r/RedPillWomen26/02/16 09:37 PM
2

Freezing your eggs costs about $10k. Can you afford it? Are you sure he also wants more kids, or is it possible he is just saying it when you bring it up?
/r/RedPillWomen25/02/16 12:49 PM
1

I have a lot better luck with controlling my "response" than the random thoughts that flit in. Perhaps, the distinction is that both your suggestion as well as response thoughts involve adding thoughts. I think avoiding thoughts is the impossible part!
/r/RedPillWomen25/02/16 01:55 AM
2

Okay, I am very much a "no, that's not quite right, it's more subtle" person. I've learned you've got to become a "yes, and...!" type person. Things that people say which are half wrong are also half right. You're studying a very interesting and complex subject, and people will say things that are plain dumb about it. Come off as an expert but be a bit quiet, let someone explain their idea, be Socratic about their questions, then give your explanation calmly and with a smile. If you just get fru…
/r/RedPillWomen23/02/16 12:11 PM
2

Are you in college? College is the easiest place to meet people. Don't waste your time trying to meet people in the harder adult ways when you have access to college men! There's tons of men out there that want an LTR... you should be meeting them at social events and parties your friends throw, mutual friends (ask them if they know anyone), at extracurricular activities, in class, at college-sponsored events, at speaking events, and so on. Have you tried any of these?
/r/RedPillWomen23/02/16 12:03 PM
2

What ways are you looking for a guy to be "lead and be dominant" in? Give specific examples. I know when I first started dating, I thought it was really masculine for a guy to plan extremely elaborate dates that were just what I wanted. I started to realize that that's not what I want - I want someone so interesting that they wouldn't waste their time catering to my every need.
/r/RedPillWomen23/02/16 11:59 AM
3

Nothing wrong with being quiet. Don't look bored or annoyed. Also, is there another quiet person in the group? Or someone that seems to put a bit more effort into including you? Try to make side jokes/comments to them.
/r/RedPillWomen21/02/16 05:58 PM
1

Try to frame it as a great opportunity! Your boyfriend gets to spend six months abroad, which is an amazing experience. You get to spend six months cultivating stronger friendships, meeting new people, and spending a bit more time on your hobbies, which is equally awesome. Maybe you can start a project like a small indoor gardening setup, or you can join a club! I think you should pick 2-3 projects/goals to fill the time. Get excited about them, and about his adventure! Maybe set a fitness goal …
/r/RedPillWomen20/02/16 10:51 PM
1

She's very... Weird in that it seems like it's all an elaborate joke? Idk. She probably has a crush on him but is so joking about it that it's not a thing I would get mad about. And he is SO dismissive of her "PDA" in a really funny way that I am more flattered than mad.
/r/RedPillWomen17/02/16 08:22 PM
2

Haha, now that I read this comment, actually, I really, really relate. My SO and I have one friend that always came to him during school for homework help... she'd be at his apartment in sweats 3/7 nights of the week. She'd make her profile picture on Facebook of just the two of them, and post how much she misses him and wants to show up and visit him. She never showed any interest in getting to know me very much (lol). I find it kind of weird and kind of flattering. He only ever replies very dr…
/r/RedPillWomen17/02/16 01:50 AM
2

:) Your job is to be a great partner, not a great boss/coworker/hobbyist/waitress/whatever. And I bet you're great at it. Over the course of your lives, you guys (hopefully!) will enjoy excellent bosses and friends and waiters and whatnot. Your various relationships add color and interest to your partnership together. Appreciate the depth that's there, and the ability of others to add to your collective enjoyment of life.
/r/RedPillWomen17/02/16 01:42 AM
2

You know what she is doing is inappropriate and that your SO wouldn't tolerate it. In this way, you've already got more than she does when it comes to what your SO wants in a relationship. This is a great way to put it. I briefly dated a boy in high school that was extremely flirty with another friend of ours, and high school me felt so extremely jealous. I spent a lot of time thinking he'd be happier dating her since they were so flirty. Separately, we weren't at all compatible, and I assumed t…
/r/RedPillWomen16/02/16 03:12 AM
1

:)
/r/RedPillWomen11/02/16 06:47 PM
1

I think when you truly love and trust someone, you can be more forgiving of short-term errors than someone you don't know. This forgiveness is the foundation of their trust in you. Some people have an internal drive to be the best they can be, and seeing that overarching dedication can fill in any short-term slip-ups. Their job loss is temporary, or their depression, or their distance. Maybe it lasts 3 months or 3 years, but it's temporary in the context of a lifelong partnership where you take …
/r/RedPillWomen10/02/16 11:09 PM
2

Here's a reframe: assume he DOES care until proven otherwise. You seem to be operating on a "assume he doesn't care, and collect proof." Which actually seems to be the premise of this entire thread. Let's turn it back onto YOU and hear some examples of "why he doesn't care." :)
/r/RedPillWomen10/02/16 07:45 PM
2

Haha, I think you're like me in that you default into theoretical language instead of addressing concretes. No shame, but something to watch out for. Let's distinguish between "don't feel cared for" and "don't feel he cares" again. Previously, which has it been for you? Are you historically dumping guys who care for you because you perpetually "don't feel cared for" or are you dating guys who don't care for you very much? Which is it, and what examples do you have to prove it?
/r/RedPillWomen09/02/16 07:39 PM
2

I am positing that the problem is NOT that he isn't caring for you. The problem is you don't "feel" it. YOUR problem. Fix it.
/r/RedPillWomen09/02/16 02:14 AM
1

Well, for an example like that, I wouldn't complain about not enough dates. Complaining about fun things brings negativity towards them! Imagine the stereotypical bridezilla who ruins her wedding while trying to make it perfect. Or the girl who complains about a thoughtful birthday present because it wasn't what she hinted at. Instead, I'd alter my behavior in two ways. First, I'd work on expressing how much fun a date is, both during and after the date. In fact, I'd work to replace every single…
/r/RedPillWomen09/02/16 12:40 AM
2

It's quite possible these early signs are actually signs that these guys don't care about you. It's also possible you're over-interpreting and talking yourself out of happiness. For example, when you say regular dates, do you mean him planning something extra special offers every week that's a huge surprise and a few hundred dollars and makes you feel like a princess? Or do you mean "I need to see the guy I'm 'dating' more than once a month?"
/r/RedPillWomen08/02/16 10:43 PM
1

I need to be a priority and him to be reliable, and both are already true. I think the disconnect comes when you think "well, I need to be a priority, so I'll pitch a fit if he doesn't do what I want in this situation, because each occurrence is a test of whether I'm a priority." This isn't to say I haven't done that before! But I really like the RPW advice of "go to your SO with your problem, not your solution." Sometimes he does something when I imagined I wanted something different. I've real…
/r/RedPillWomen08/02/16 10:24 PM
2

He's already extremely driven, intelligent, loving, and fun. I feel like it's both our jobs to create the best relationship possible, and the only thing I require is that effort and the trust that I'll do the same.
/r/RedPillWomen08/02/16 08:10 PM
6

He finds you convenient sometimes. You are trying to justify why that's okay, but you need to stand up for yourself
/r/RedPillWomen06/02/16 03:03 AM
1

Lol, I had no idea! My adorable high school Latin teacher just told me that. :)
/r/RedPillWomen05/02/16 04:23 PM
23

Agreed, I don't think you mock your future wife after standing her up. He's not into you.
/r/RedPillWomen05/02/16 11:46 AM
2

I read somewhere that high aspirations are often correlated with depression. Sounds like you want to be perfect, and become depressed with every slip-up. "Perfect" is an abstract concept. You will never be "perfect." I think when we choose a skill, or a hobby, we need to see it as a direction towards which we are always striving, not a place that we have not arrived at yet. I see it more as "I want to head north instead of sitting in one spot, so every day I walk as far as I can in that direcrti…
/r/RedPillWomen04/02/16 06:25 PM
1

Darn it! I think friends are the best way in general because you can say "I'm too nervous to text him!" and they take care of setting up the first meeting for you. ;) I think my general attitude for these type of things is you have to be a bit sly in making sure what you want happens, but without coming across as needy/desperate. But confident pertness is better than awkwardness! I think if you're cheery and a bit pert, that works better than "heh so I'd love to get dinner um yeah well what abou…
/r/RedPillWomen03/02/16 03:15 AM
2

I would NOT put up with a boyfriend who gets on Tinder while we are dating! He should still be head over heels, or she's with the wrong man.
/r/RedPillWomen03/02/16 12:00 AM
6

You really, really need therapy. Your head is stuck in your horrifying past, which makes sense, but therapy will teach you to put your past behind you. You can't live your life like that.
/r/RedPillWomen02/02/16 11:29 AM
2

Hmm, interesting. I think it may depend on how you meet men. I've only dated men that I've known socially for at least a month or two prior to me agreeing to date them. I've never dragged it out unnecessarily/longer than I wanted, but I think it's natural for certainty of interest to take a while as well as sex to take a bit in a situation like that. So in some sense, sex and the relationship are both mutually understood to be coming, and both people know/trust the other and are willing to close…
/r/RedPillWomen02/02/16 03:39 AM
6

I think sometimes talking too long before you meet up with someone makes it exhausting/not fun for some people. You haven't met the guy, so don't fret about him not talking to you. Wait til you meet him to think about him! I imagine your mutual friend won't let it go and will make sure you meet up. :)
/r/RedPillWomen02/02/16 03:30 AM
2

/u/TheTerrorSquad is exactly right. You do NOT reason or argue with toddlers when they just desperately want something bad. You just say "no, end of story." You HAVE to treat your mom that way.
/r/RedPillWomen02/02/16 12:56 AM
3

So the "average unattractive" woman who's looking for a relationship should not have sex with the guy who won't commit to her no matter what. If a guy won't chase you, he probably won't commit to you, and the chase functions as a litmus test.
/r/RedPillWomen02/02/16 12:32 AM
1

I'm signing up for this!
/r/RedPillWomen01/02/16 01:29 AM
8

I'd advise that you acquire the ability to be financially self-sufficient. You aren't married to this guy, he's presumably also 18 so you have no idea what his income would be even if you did get married, there's always the possibility of disability, etc. You aren't closing doors by starting a career, and you'll meet lots of people in a way that passively waiting around for your future husband won't allow you to do. Continue working on improving your housekeeping qualities, but if you're making …
/r/RedPillWomen01/02/16 01:28 AM
1

I've been with my SO about 3 years and went on BC about a year ago. I use the Nuvaring. I like it because I'm not great with taking pills everyday and it's a steady dose of hormones instead of peaking like the pill. I really wanted to go on because I am pro-choice, but as we became more serious, the thought of ever needing an abortion became more and more upsetting (and I know I wouldn't have a baby til we were married, so abortion would be necessary in that situation). We also use condoms and b…
/r/RedPillWomen01/02/16 01:23 AM
3

I tend to blurt things out too! Especially when I feel emotional, it's extra hard to find clarity. Some ideas are letting the emotion become less "raw" by going for a run or working a bit harder that day. Another idea is to write what you are feeling down (or draw pictures lol). If you want comfort from him, get physical comfort before emotional comfort (I sometimes wait a day to talk about things that upset me if I know I'll do the "I am so sad fix it for me please! :'(((" the day that it happe…
/r/RedPillWomen01/02/16 01:19 AM
5

You had a feeling, and that's completely okay. Everyone has those. I think the problem is how you expressed it and felt entitled to comfort. No one wants to hear someone angry about another's accomplishment. It's annoying and puts your SO in a spot where he has to put down someone he doesn't know (bad) or put up with you being angry (bad). Maybe next time, instead of ranting immediately, focus your thoughts on why it upsets you, and if you want to bring it up, focus on doing it calmly, briefly, …
/r/RedPillWomen01/02/16 01:05 AM
2

I've seen lots of very plain girls in relationships with guys more attractive than they are. Become the best person you can be. Don't worry about what you can't change. Easier said than done, so I suggest setting five goals. Separately, on the confidence+attractiveness point, I've been working to stand up straighter. Point with your nipples, not your nose. It makes you feel confident and look better.
/r/RedPillWomen28/01/16 09:05 PM
2

Just saying that there's a difference between "here, this specific guide is perfect for your situation and will answer your questions. :)" for someone that wouldn't pass the subreddit test, and "you need to get up to speed because you don't understand the basics." And again, I think the work you guys sound like you're putting in will probably cover most of this ground so I didn't mean to criticize! As I said, I do understand that you guys have to put up with way more spam and mean-spiritedness t…
/r/RedPillWomen27/01/16 10:30 PM
4

It's possible he's always done this. Some guys do see porn like tv. If it's a change, I'd make sure he's physically healthy. Sometimes depression can lead to desire for more instant gratification and physical sensation, like overeating, risk-taking, and sex addiction. Is he undergoing any stress? Don't overthink it if you don't have an immediate answer. Ask him.
/r/RedPillWomen27/01/16 08:25 PM
3

My limit with my parents is about 4-6 days. I love them for the long weekend and then about day four I start missing my own place. Get a new job and a few roommates, and make sure you have an emergency fund in the future. Live below your means. You shouldn't be living with your parents in your thirties. As far as your mom, just stop engaging.
/r/RedPillWomen27/01/16 08:22 PM
3

I'm imagining, like malefashionadvice type guides. "Here's the jeans guide" instead of "read the guides because you dress poorly" is the top comment. It's effective for people who know they need to change but aren't sure how to execute the change and which parts of the guide even apply to them. Like someone who dresses poorly and asks for tips, I think sometimes people HAVE read the guides and know they're doing some things wrong, but can't execute the fix. And yeah, I did see the sticky and as …
/r/RedPillWomen27/01/16 11:29 AM
4

Yeah, I figure it's probably really hard to moderate this place. Especially since I think literally everyone comes in with misconceptions. I think the more extensive FAQ idea is a good one. Like if there are 10 common problems people come in with, people could just post a link instead of having to argue. I really wish the relationships subreddit did this lol. They only have about half a dozen common problems, and it becomes clear that certain relationship problems are really common and have most…
/r/RedPillWomen26/01/16 11:40 PM
7

I think that's a great idea, and perhaps for the opposite reason. I come on here because I find the subreddit helpful personally, and I feel a bit sad/upset when people get a bit circle-jerky towards someone. I've never felt hurt about any conversation or anything directed at me, but just in general, I come on here because I like to work on myself, and I like thinking about female sexual strategy as well as relationship strategy, and it's clear that some of the veteran members are frustrated by …
/r/RedPillWomen26/01/16 10:53 PM
1

Exactly! I love being around people, and I love chatting casually with the cafe owner, and I love people watching. There's couples, and little families with little babies that toddle over to the chocolates in the window (they want to steal the chocolates, I want to steal the baby), and it's just fun. Good end to the day.
/r/RedPillWomen26/01/16 12:45 AM
2

I totally sympathize. When my boyfriend and I plan trips, I used to try to MAKE him plan half of them. "I'll plan this one, and you plan that one." So ridiculous! He hated planning them! Absolutely hated it! And I really like doing it! It's my lunch break activity. I'd do it just for kicks. What sense was there in that?! Anyway, now I make the plans, put them in front of him for the green light "hey this is okay with you too, right?" and if he has anything he cares about, he brings it up! Easy, …
/r/RedPillWomen26/01/16 12:41 AM
1

You clearly don't respect the guy lol. Cut your losses. You don't HAVE to like him. You're going to read this and immediately think "oh but I do respect him! I respect him theoretically and in xyz ways!" But look, if you aren't head over heels at every little thing he says 8 months in, every joke, every story, every little thing, then you're never going to be. You'll always get annoyed at his petty complaints about roommates, choice of language in calling cats disgusting, and family values on ch…
/r/RedPillWomen26/01/16 12:36 AM
5

That's a good requirement. What else? Surely you aren't swooning with every good tipper who loves his dog and works 60 hours a week. What makes you go "wow"?
/r/RedPillWomen26/01/16 12:30 AM
3

Good I'm focusing on changing my word choice and tone in requests. I'm trying to remove expectations from my language, and it's going great. I very much think that when I word something a certain way, it's indicative of both how it's perceived both by myself and others. So when I whine to my SO in a negative tone that I just need him to do something for me, it's awful and nagging, whereas when I make a straightforward request (or voice the problem I'm facing), I mentally am able to understand th…
/r/RedPillWomen26/01/16 12:25 AM
2

That's great! If you could answer my last question, maybe that would be helpful. What do you admire in men, specifically? No generic answers like "successful and attractive." :) Tell me what makes a man successful to you, and what makes him attractive to you. I may have misread the tone of the original post and assumed you weren't meeting ANYBODY. Sounds like you're meeting LOTS of men, initiating friendly, casual contact, and yet you don't remember the last man you met that you respect. So I'm …
/r/RedPillWomen26/01/16 12:14 AM
6

You sound closed-off and unwilling to work to meet people. If you thought about every man you ever knew yesterday, you haven't known enough men. Especially if you've literally never met a single one you respected. :/ Meeting people takes work! Not the aggressive, masculine kind, but the kind where you put yourself in situations where you can meet people you like and pay enough attention to give and receive bids. What do you admire in men?
/r/RedPillWomen25/01/16 09:40 PM
2

I run our social calendar. If that's your job, then do it happily. You sound like you're doing fine and he's happy.
/r/RedPillWomen25/01/16 03:57 AM
21

I think your instincts are good. Should have smiled, should have cracked a joke. He probably thought you were cute too, but wasn't sure if you were interested. Choosing to sit with you was his small "bid", you have to accept and give a bid back - a joke or a smile are good starts. You have to be open to flirtation and flirt back a bit. :) I was thinking about this yesterday, coffee shops are great places to meet people! I spent the blizzard yesterday in my favorite haunt, and I was working + I'm…
/r/RedPillWomen25/01/16 12:24 AM
3

One thing I've come to appreciate about RPW (also pretty new here) is that low dominance does not indicate bad husband material. My boyfriend isn't what I imagined the stereotype of an RP partner to be. He's very laid-back and easy-going in mannerisms (not in his personal goals, where he has a lot of drive, but even so, he's very casual/relaxed when he talks about them), and even before I started coming on here, it used to bother me and I used to make myself feel unhappy about it. Also, I don't …
/r/RedPillWomen25/01/16 12:15 AM
3

Wellbutrin is actually marketed to smokers trying to quit under a different name (Zyban). It's an official use of the drug. It specifically suppresses urges, so for the readers out there, this is not true for antidepressants in general.
/r/RedPillWomen24/01/16 12:16 PM
3

OP, what kind of men are expressing interest in you? Maybe you need to spend a bit of time getting to know men before committing to dating them. I honestly prefer getting to know someone in a group setting first. It tends to cement my idea of how they act and are perceived by others, which forms the basis of my attraction. But I also like to have had a meaningful conversation. You may be pathologizing this, and thus you are perceiving/assuming these guys are lower quality. Those are my suggestio…
/r/RedPillWomen24/01/16 11:36 AM
3

I didn't comment on the original post she wrote, but it is really one of the most useful and important posts I've read here. My boyfriend is very much not RP, in terms of philosophy, but he's one of the handful of men I've met and instantly respected and admired (certainly the only one I've ever dated). Dating someone I admire so much has been hugely challenging in a personal way (before we got together, I asked my friends if it was possible that a "normal" person could ever date someone that pe…
/r/RedPillWomen24/01/16 11:28 AM
1

Stick a handful of spinach into a smoothie. Turns it green but you can't taste it. Try kale chips (you HAVE to spread them out). Olive oil and salt and an oven. Only problem is they take 30 minutes to make but are so good you end up eating them in 5 minutes flat.
/r/RedPillWomen24/01/16 01:01 AM
3

Not sure if this is a troll post, but you're going to push her away and she's not going to come to you for advice if you try to control her life now that she's an adult. Be an example of a happy relationship, that's all you can do. Shoving values down someone's throat is counterproductive.
/r/RedPillWomen24/01/16 12:54 AM
3

I'm very much like that in pretty much every aspect of my life! And my boyfriend is like that with regards to work and personal health, but I think he looks to our relationship as the bit of spontaneity in his life. I spent some time a year ago nagging him about scheduled date nights which really frustrated him, and when I laid off, he started suggesting them more often. He will come up with movies to watch and things to do together and I love it. It's what works for the couple. :)
/r/RedPillWomen23/01/16 02:39 PM
1

Cool! Gonna read this at home.
/r/RedPillWomen22/01/16 07:33 PM
1

I think that's a great plan then. :)
/r/RedPillWomen22/01/16 07:31 PM
1

I think this is a good point! It depends on how much you two like routine. My guy hates it lol. And I'm comforted by it. I've had to let go of a lot of desire to impose structure and routine! On the other hand, if you both like routine, it's perfect for you. :)
/r/RedPillWomen22/01/16 07:29 PM
1

Thanks! I think sometimes I'm fatalistic and think "well, I messed up. IT'S OVER." And that's silly. It's like skipping a workout. Not good to skip every single one, but one occasional one is fine, and the more you workout, the easier it is to get back in shape the next day!
/r/RedPillWomen22/01/16 02:51 AM
3

If he says something that hurts, remember that men speak more harshly and directly than women do. It’s easy to get overly offended when it’s coming from a person whose opinion you trust and respect Thanks for the reply! This part really rings true for me. It's so easy for me to take one thing he says and think its actually a personal attack, when he just made an off-hand joke or misheard what I said. It's definitely something I'm working on, and I'm better but nowhere near perfect!
/r/RedPillWomen22/01/16 02:50 AM
3

It sounds like you guys spend a lot of time together, but not a lot of time out. Like, in public, on the scene, or with friends. Perhaps what's missing is not "date night," but the social circle. You want your marriage to be acknowledged by society. I think it's a healthy urge. I've been doing some reflecting on my parents' marriage, and they had a really strong social circle that I think helped them a lot. Maybe you could find some friends in a shared interest, like charitable events, a music s…
/r/RedPillWomen22/01/16 02:27 AM
6

Whenever I read personality quizzes like this, I want to stick myself in a box, but I really think the purpose of them is to realize you can channel any of the archetypes, and they are all skills you must learn. I do agree that our society emphasizes the "warrior" archetype as the platonic ideal, and it isn't! Growing into a good mother and wife is a difficult skill and it's definitely one that needs practice. I also think any strong Mother must occasionally be a Warrior, and any Counselor a Lov…
/r/RedPillWomen22/01/16 02:19 AM
4

What does work well is women throwing themselves at him while he is paying no attention at all. This is really true. My boyfriend never shows interest in other women, and women are all over him. He'll act distantly amused or pretend not to notice, and I love it.
/r/RedPillWomen22/01/16 01:31 AM
2

Despite there being a tremendous diversity of sexual practice and culture, it is almost uniformly the cases that massive and successful civilizations across time spans and religions all developed systems prioritizing male martial and material virtue, and female chastity and deference, with men's roles being 'outside' the home, and disciplinarian, and female's roles being 'inside' the home, and nurturing. Interesting. I figured most large civilizations value male martial/material virtue, and fema…
/r/RedPillWomen22/01/16 01:26 AM
2

I think the physical energy thing sounds smart! I'll try that next time. I always, like, fidget, which I think indicates I have pent-up energy with no where to go.
/r/RedPillWomen20/01/16 06:22 PM
1

Ugly: starting with this because I'm really disappointed that I picked a fight on Sunday. It was extremely embarrassing behavior and not really something I've done since I've started posting here so I'm disappointed. My general pattern of fight-picking had been to hold onto the anger/anxiety for a few days so I am going to make extra sure not to do that this time. I think my BF has noticed the change in my behavior over the past month and I can tell he sees the fight as not as big a deal as I di…
/r/RedPillWomen20/01/16 12:32 AM
2

This is such a cool post - I'd love to see a breakdown of dominant behavior in women. In my observation, women are more likely to vary from one extreme to the other which makes it difficult to judge.
/r/RedPillWomen20/01/16 12:24 AM
6

I like this a lot! I have been working on this for a while and it definitely works and convinces me that most of the time, our fights are my fault. I have a question/request for advice. I'm pretty good now at avoiding STARTING a fight. But I am really terrible at stopping. The last month or so our relationship has been much healthier because I've essentially stopped picking petty fights, but I messed up on Sunday. And once I had already gotten upset about something dumb, I couldn't let it go for…
/r/RedPillWomen20/01/16 12:21 AM
1

I'm not saying be more fun by drinking. You seemed to assume that fun nights=drinking, why? I mean by being more pleasant/relaxed at home. Plan fun nights in. Set up movie outings. You have fun hobbies? Pick up one to do with him.
/r/RedPillWomen11/01/16 11:49 AM
3

Obviously professional pictures will look fake. I think an off-scenes shot may be fine. What exactly is turning you off from these guys? What kind of guy do you want to attract?
/r/RedPillWomen11/01/16 05:42 AM
8

There was that thread about a woman who did that and guys were put off by how she played down her career (she was famous enough to google). A few said they felt like she thought they were stupid. I say be straightforward but humble. Joke about it and then refocus on the guy.
/r/RedPillWomen11/01/16 05:39 AM
4

Feel free to delete it if it's not. But it sounds like to me she's sitting at home and being negative and complaining about him, he finds his partier friends more fun. She needs to become more fun than them to him. Arguing with him to think she's more fun won't work.
/r/RedPillWomen11/01/16 05:33 AM
1

It really depends on what you believe you need to be happy. If you want to break it off because you just aren't in love with him and never will be, by all means break it off. It just isn't logical to end it if he makes you really happy and he's committed. You can grow while you're with someone too.
/r/RedPillWomen11/01/16 04:34 AM
1

He may be swinging with the wrong crowd. Instead of whining and fighting, maybe you could create more situations and activities to do together and with friends that are fun for him and you're okay with.
/r/RedPillWomen11/01/16 04:29 AM
28

Don't use your modeling photos. People may assume you're fake.
/r/RedPillWomen11/01/16 04:23 AM
2

Ask trusted people in real life about this. The world isn't fair, and your blindness will be a deal breaker for some, but it certainly doesn't mean your BF is the only guy who would ever love you. You're better off getting concrete advice from a few people in real life than the Internet. I think a lot of young girls break off high school relationships because they think it's responsible. It isn't inherently so. Stay committed and see what he does. Maybe you'll end up broken up anyway, and maybe …
/r/RedPillWomen11/01/16 04:21 AM
3

Honestly, if you're blind and he's a good guy that's committed to you and you want to get married young, hold onto him. He's a gem.
/r/RedPillWomen11/01/16 02:15 AM
3

Just a little one this week. My boyfriend is currently overseas with his family. He arrives home on Friday, so I decided to text him that I was going to cook a nice fancy dinner for him (got some wine and champagne as Christmas gifts at work already) and we could have a night in. I started to word the text "please tell me what you want me to cook" and as I typed it out, I realized I was going to be annoyed if he replied "anything sounds great!" because I had covertly decided he should have an op…
/r/RedPillWomen07/01/16 12:32 AM
1

I had known his parents for years before we started dating, so I didn't have the nervousness. I still get nervous around them and want them to like me, but it's silly because they clearly love me a lot.
/r/RedPillWomen06/01/16 02:33 AM
2

Maybe not cry or storm out. But I really liked this video. My first reaction would definitely have not been this graceful. Perhaps more in the "stop looking at me!" vein.
/r/RedPillWomen05/01/16 03:22 AM
6

Power of attorney requires that the right people have the right documents in times of emergency, when minutes and hours are critical. It is also more expensive and more time-consuming than a marriage license, which you can get in an hour (a have a coworker who literally got married over our lunch break). Marriage is a bundle of safety nets to turn two individuals into a legal family unit. It's a hell of a lot more convenient to be able say "He's my husband" than documenting those privileges, app…
/r/RedPillWomen05/01/16 03:15 AM
20

Ability to go to the hospital if he's injured and immediately be let in, have legitimate children, be upheld as a family unit, and the social standing of a wife instead of a girlfriend. Those are real, measurable gains.
/r/RedPillWomen04/01/16 01:13 AM
1

I love this!! My new job has me backing up our accountant so when she's gone I have to do her daily work which is mostly clicking buttons but extremely detailed and important to do in the right order. So I made myself a checklist in Excel and it helps so much!! I realized I love checklists! And pop-up reminders. They really help make monotonous tasks fun. Now I want to make a daily chores checklist in Excel haha. It just feels so good to check things off!
/r/RedPillWomen01/01/16 02:27 AM
3

Is it really just paperwork and a bit of money that you can easily afford? It's not a gambling problem or prostitute in the closet? Wipe the grimness off your face, tease him sweetly, and set up autopay. It's not actually a big deal! He is sweet and is worried about your emotions... Don't escalate by acting mad! Be excited and sweet about doing it, not "let me show you how it's done, fool."
/r/RedPillWomen31/12/15 04:57 AM
3

What matters is what's easiest for you. If you believe convincing him/arguing and having him take his sweet time is easier than $500 and a mover, you may be right. You may also be underestimating the emotional cost! What a cool last name! And thanks, it's a palindrome. :)
/r/RedPillWomen30/12/15 06:55 PM
5

A few questions: 1) Do you have any beliefs about how you want your kids raised? Are you two on the same page on that? This might take more thinking than "well I want my kids fed and loved, and she can do those." For example, beliefs on daycare, on breastfeeding, on religion, on education, on public vs private vs home school, on homework help, on helicopter parenting vs its opposite extreme of latchkey parenting, on discipline, and on values? There's more of course but those are all important. 2…
/r/RedPillWomen30/12/15 04:09 PM
2

I think you need to find a subletter and get out ASAP.
/r/RedPillWomen30/12/15 11:45 AM
4

With genders reversed, it's a mother-son dynamic. Not fun for the couple or anyone watching.
/r/RedPillWomen30/12/15 03:16 AM
3

Have they always criticized your choices? Do they identify specific behaviors of his?
/r/RedPillWomen30/12/15 03:14 AM
4

Why are you living with a man if you can't live with a man and not have sex with him? I think you need to first focusing on extricating yourself from this living situation. You aren't happy in the relationship because you don't respect him. But even if you wanted to continue the relationship, it's terrible to be living together 4 months in. Get some female roommates.
/r/RedPillWomen30/12/15 01:37 AM
1

I appreciate your point that my experience is not generalizable! I think that's very fair and RPW is right to investigate the problem first when people post threads for help. I do think though I would have been okay no matter what because in my larger friend circle there were tons of attractive guys, and none of my friends were "basement loser gamer" types - most were driven/smart/nerdy science geek types, which is personally very attractive to me (some were not physically attractive, but many w…
/r/RedPillWomen29/12/15 05:18 PM
2

We may be in similar fields. What do you do in commodities?
/r/RedPillWomen29/12/15 03:42 PM
3

One thing I've been working on this week is slowing down. It's easy to get caught up in thinking so much about the future for me that I'm not able to appreciate the present. I think my boyfriend really appreciates it, because I used to be the type of person that would worry about everything and spread my worries to others, which I think is a recipe for nagging. Even acquaintances have commented on how much happier/at peace I seem. I hope I can maintain the inner calm past the holidays! Another (…
/r/RedPillWomen29/12/15 03:41 PM
1

There are definitely a lot of assumptions and false premises here but I hope that what I said makes sense and I am glad that you are taking the time to discuss this with me :) Thanks, I appreciate that you're taking the time as well! Again this type of distribution just does not really happen so using this in any example is only going to make things confusing and unrealistic. The average that gives you the SMV is the mode (or the median in the context I explained before). If his SMV is a 5, anyw…
/r/RedPillWomen28/12/15 02:34 AM
1

I just completely disagree with this idea. Men want women to be as into him as possible. Why would he want to be viewed as a 7 when he could be viewed as an 8? A main idea within the RP communities is improving yourself to increase your options. As an 8 he would have a greater ability to be selective and get the women he wants; that's how men increase their pool. I'm going to focus on this quote for now because I think it gets at the heart of what I'm trying (and perhaps failing) to explain. I'l…
/r/RedPillWomen28/12/15 01:04 AM
1

Then it's not normally distributed, which was a key point to that example. I must have not written clearly, then. I'm not assuming a normal distribution or even a symmetric one, just used it as an example. I also used examples of distributions that aren't normal - neither Laura nor Bernice were normal OR symmetric. And you have not given any answer as to why a bell curve is a useful way to look at SMV. I'm positing that a distribution is more useful in evaluating a person's SMV than an average b…
/r/RedPillWomen27/12/15 11:56 PM
2

I rewrote that sentence to say "misconception of RPW" instead of "undercurrent on RPW." I think my previous wording was giving off a wrong connotation. :)
/r/RedPillWomen27/12/15 04:09 PM
1

No. You don't understand SMV or sexual strategy for women or men. I'm not sure where you pulled the 7/10 and 9/10 numbers from but they are wrong. Mentioned this in my other reply to you, but the numbers I picked were for example only. We can easily change them to 5/10 and 7/10 and my point still stands. :)
/r/RedPillWomen27/12/15 04:08 PM
1

I disagree with this. I understand why you reached this conclusion, but the personality doesn't add points to this particular number, the number is about a woman's physical appearance. Clarifying question: you are saying that a woman's market value for a LTR is entirely determined by her looks?
/r/RedPillWomen27/12/15 04:04 PM
0

I think if Paul himself is a 7, most women would say he is a 7 and there won't be an even number of girls on each side of that number labeling him a 6 or 8. Yes there are definitely going to be some girls who think that Paul is a 9, but likely not as many who find him to be a 4. Agreed, his distribution doesn't have to be symmetric. And in the process of self improvement and learning game, he isn't trying to get people who view him as a 6 to view him as a 7, he is trying to become an 8 or higher…
/r/RedPillWomen27/12/15 03:22 PM
2

That's a fair point! I rewrote that sentence slightly to be more in line with what I meant! :) I reread Gone with the Wind last weekend and was thinking of RPW. It made me think that the traits you show off when attracting a man and the traits you use to build a happy marriage are very different. That has rung true in my life at least. Sorry this post is all over the place!
/r/RedPillWomen27/12/15 06:43 AM
3

I changed the wording from "undercurrent" to "misconception." Perhaps that reads better? Because you're right - every RPW reply to both threads was on point. My post here is not a criticism of the quality of replies but rather a questioning of where common problems in attracting a man may lie.
/r/RedPillWomen27/12/15 06:35 AM
3

I guess what I am saying is: strategy for making the pool bigger can be different for men looking for tons of hookups and women looking for a LTR. The woman needs to maximize the number of people who think she's a 9/10, while the man needs to maximize the number who think he's a 7/10. I honestly think I'm pretty average looking - I dress very well and do my makeup well and have a good body, but I am no model. I think I have better luck than friends who are more conventionally attractive because …
/r/RedPillWomen27/12/15 06:27 AM
5

I really identify with this! There are some circles I just don't move well in. Trying to get a top guy on the football team would be impossible. My BF is charismatic, smart, funny, and a natural leader. Girls throw themselves at him and every male friend we had, at some point or another, admitted to me that they admired and looked up to him. Who knows why he picked me, but I'm glad I had a lot of nerdy male-dominated hobbies or I definitely wouldn't have met him and we wouldn't have clicked. Now…
/r/RedPillWomen27/12/15 06:18 AM
3

I agree, and while some people may spend enough time being a "bossy aggressive nagging controlling shrew" to consider it a hobby, it wasn't what I was referring to. :)
/r/RedPillWomen27/12/15 05:48 AM
3

I am wondering if perhaps the post reads a bit weird to you guys because I am mixing misconceptions and correct conceptions in one post? A couple of posters mentioned the "erasing personality" sentence is particularly incongruous. My point is perhaps to explain (to myself, and anyone who thinks similarly to me) a reason why that is a misconception.
/r/RedPillWomen27/12/15 05:42 AM
6

I lurk quite a bit. I enjoy reading the forum because it's helped me become a better person in terms of the "don't nag" advice. I'm in a LTR and a lot of the advice here has significantly improved my behavior in my relationship. However, when I read threads posted by women who are looking to catch a man, the advice is all over the place and I don't really know what "doctrine" is. For example, a few weeks ago there was a thread about a woman who was really into farming/homesteading who wanted to …
/r/RedPillWomen27/12/15 02:29 AM
2

Wait I love this!
/r/RedPillWomen20/12/15 01:15 PM
6

Is there a name for some version of monk mode within the context of a relationship? I assume the reason it is called monk mode is because temporary isolation gives you more time to introspect and work on the self...but I'd love to do a short "better behavior boot camp" version of monk mode that's a defined length of time to provide some structure to what I want to accomplish.
/r/RedPillWomen20/12/15 03:28 AM
2

This is basically where I'm starting from. I definitely started off from a resentful attitude towards this sub... but I kept coming back for some reason. And everything I've tried off it has worked.
/r/RedPillWomen16/12/15 03:24 AM
5

It's so weird realizing that I chose to be offended. I'm still not very good at it, so it's a lot easier to do via text vs in person so far! In person, I've found that I sometimes try to do it, then end up messing up and backtracking and making it worse again. So I've been practicing so far on really small things that are easy, to build up practice/confidence in this way of thinking. :)
/r/RedPillWomen15/12/15 01:12 AM
2

I think your interpretation definitely makes sense. I just think that her goal should be to get him to tell her what he wants, as opposed to going in with expectations of what she thinks he wants?
/r/RedPillWomen15/12/15 12:58 AM
2

That makes total sense. I know I personally avoid going to the gym etc with my bf because 1-2 times I've done it, he's SO much more competitive than I am that we both feel frustrated. I imagine a competitive team sport makes it even worse for OP's husband. For me, joking about it worked because me not being as intense in the gym didn't have any real effect on his pride, but I see your point that since they're on what he views as a competitive team it's a bit different and a joke may make it wors…
/r/RedPillWomen15/12/15 12:30 AM
3

New to all this! Feel free to let me know if I'm going about things wrong. Good - I've been practicing a reframe of "conflicts" where I tell myself that I am the victim and just trying to let go. I've also been focusing on being sweeter/flirtier instead of being really negative/full of complaints when we talk. Finally, he always does a great job of trying to stem off conversations when I'm feeling emotional and talking/thinking in circles (is this hamstering?). I've been practicing accepting tha…
/r/RedPillWomen15/12/15 12:04 AM
1

Agreed - and it's so easy, for me at least, to think "if he loves me he must act in xyz manner. If he does not, he does not love me." It's silly because we as outsiders can identify the ways he loves her. So OP is trying to latch onto reasons why he may NOT love her. For me at least, untangling the knot is less helpful than just knowing what puts it out of my mind. I'm pretty emotionally driven and I just want "happy" ends to conflicts (internal or otherwise). Thoughts and arguments never bring …
/r/RedPillWomen14/12/15 11:43 PM
2

Yeah, exactly. I may be projecting a bit, because my BF absolutely panics when I bring up something that I think is a huge deal - mostly because I've been in the habit of thinking really trivial things are big deals. It's something I've been working to break. A bit of levity has helped a LOT. :) I get to get the thought out of my head but without the crazy "I can't believe you said/did this you must hate me!! Well I will show YOU." I can laugh at myself, he teases me a bit, and it's over. Obviou…
/r/RedPillWomen14/12/15 11:34 PM
1

Fair point. I know for me, those words couldn't leave my mouth without being passive aggressive, but I can imagine them phrased better. For me, I've noticed the words that leave my mouth shape my thoughts. I can easily see myself as being OP and framing this as "husband confided in a woman, maybe he doesn't like playing with me.... Or maybe he doesn't like being my husband and wants to get with the other woman! This is a Big Deal! Well I will tell him I wanna quit, and if he says okay, maybe he …
/r/RedPillWomen14/12/15 11:26 PM
2

This has to be a joke. His wallet?! I don't even know what my bf's wallet looks like. Black, beat-up, and nondescript, I think. Anyway, if you're a real person, I think your judgmentalism is getting in the way of what actually matters.
/r/RedPillWomen14/12/15 11:18 PM
4

Hmm, do you think this may be passively aggressive? "Oh I should just quit" comes across to me as "please reassure me I shouldn't quit" even though that's worse for both of them. I wonder if she took a more lighthearted approach and just joked about her non-competitive nature maybe it would ease the tension! It sounds like her husband is afraid of telling her what he's feeling because he's afraid she'll be offended. Now she is offended, and telling him that will confirm his suspicions! It seems …
/r/RedPillWomen14/12/15 11:13 PM
1

Well - you mentioned a few of your interests/hobbies in the post. I think a great way to meet people is bringing up an interest and getting them to talk about it! If someone strikes a conversation, see how much of themselves you can get them to share with you. :)
/r/RedPillWomen14/12/15 01:21 AM
2

Dress well? Makeup? Would it be accurate to say you're friendly in a "polite" way but not in a "we could be friends" way to strangers? Having fun with them instead of talking about the weather?
/r/RedPillWomen14/12/15 12:42 AM
1

Haha, well it's good to know others do it often enough that it has a name!
/r/RedPillWomen13/12/15 03:14 AM
2

What a cool way to reframe! I think I do this too, and it's really just another way to continue the same-old "I must change him to feel happy with myself." But it's silly! He loves me and wants to let me be myself and be happy.... why should that upset me?
/r/RedPillWomen13/12/15 01:56 AM
2

Update: he just replied "ok cutie, love you :)" and it feels a thousand times better than me secretly expecting some specific response and trying to make him figure it out. :)
/r/RedPillWomen13/12/15 01:25 AM
1

Subscribed and already loving it!
/r/RedPillWomen13/12/15 01:23 AM
2

Lurker, first time posting. I've found a lot of the advice here very interesting, but I haven't yet gotten to the point where I can claim I'm implementing the lifestyle. I don't think our setup is a traditional RPW lifestyle and probably never will be - nevertheless, I've found the mindset one I want to cultivate. I was thinking about this comic for a few days now. I tried it just now. I tend to get stressed out and pick fights for no reason, and I've realized my apologies have come, on my side,…
/r/RedPillWomen13/12/15 12:23 AM
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