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CanYouTieThemInABow Archive

View 0 posts and 416 comments by CanYouTieThemInABow on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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1

Smoking is a serious addiction and it will drive you crazy. My husband used to be a smoker, and the number of times he prioritized his cigarette over actually important things made me rage. He has been able to switch to vaping, which improved his lung function a lot. He's gradually decreased how much nicotine he uses over several years, and he's finally almost at zero. This approach has been effective, but it's a long time. Someone else could probably use the same approach but go faster though. …
/r/PurplePillDebate07/10/22 09:56 AM
–

Yup. Certain deep penetration positions feel nice during, but then afterwards it's 30 min of nauseous curled up in a ball level pain.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/10/22 11:02 PM
–

Give them the opportunities of wealth, not the luxuries. They don't need a Lexus for their 16th birthday and they need to know how to use a vacuum cleaner. Giving your kid champagne tastes is not a gift. And having them work for some things is good. But an expensive private school or a selective academic summer camp? Building your resume and connections from an early age is a nice boost and can help you later.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/10/22 05:46 AM
1

It can be charming, particularly if it's in a scenic location that lends itself to a pleasant stroll. And more and more places have dairy-free options which is helpful.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/10/22 12:50 AM
3

Naturalizer makes comfortable shoes, and sometimes you can find really good deals on them.
/r/RedPillWomen02/10/22 12:30 AM
2

How did you end up with a high schooler, and how has that gone? I'm also not one to get up in arms about youth, but that doesn't seem like an easy gap to work with.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/09/22 08:40 PM
3

Well argued. The most powerful men I know do have reasonably attractive wives, but they tend to be healthy and age appropriate rather than young models. But they always, always, understand how to achieve success. Either they act as his support so he can fully devote himself to his goals, or they're prestigious and seeking power in their own right.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/09/22 08:37 PM
3

We're talking about successful people. Of course she works out multiple times a week, uses nice skincare, etc (in her 30s, I wouldn't expect many procedures though, those usually come later). That's just baseline expectations. And yeah, women of this type aren't hurting for options. High value attractive young women are also doing these things and have even more options. A successful man isn't looking for a woman low on options though, particularly not if he wants someone he can show off. Now, i…
/r/PurplePillDebate30/09/22 08:20 PM
6

Oh, I think he looks awful. Would not bang. But he does consistently date extremely attractive and savvy young women.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/09/22 06:48 PM
55

Youth and beauty are both valuable, so there's a tradeoff. I usually see that an attractive older man can either get a woman who's really top notch for their age: fit, pretty face, good at networking, etc. Or he can get a younger woman who is more average looking compared to her peers and doesn't understand networking. I can tell you that when I've seen both types of men, the one with the average looking younger woman never comes off as impressive. And a woman who is prettier because she is youn…
/r/PurplePillDebate30/09/22 03:13 PM
1

Even if that were true, we have too many unwanted kids to be precious about which loving family wants to raise them. Sort of. The unwanted children are mostly older kids from foster care or children and babies with disabilities. Healthy babies up for adoption are in much higher demand than supply.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/09/22 02:59 PM
1

The key here is "only". Women don't want to be valued only for looks, and men only for their wallets. My husband really enjoys how I look, sure. It would be very awkward if he didn't! But he also likes talking with me. He respects my talents and helps me reach my goals. I'm a whole person to him. You are correct of course that a couple that is held together by really shallow ties is not very stable. That was never my primary concern because I never really wanted to be desired solely for my body,…
/r/PurplePillDebate30/09/22 02:46 PM
3

He may know that he's only planning to push but not physically harm her if she doesn't comply. Does she know that? I would be terrified.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/09/22 11:44 AM
6

As if my physical appearance is all that matters, and that my personality, opinions, and desires are all irrelevant. All I am is a walking pair of tits that inconveniently talks.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/09/22 11:36 AM
5

Those families want to adopt healthy infants. Older children have a much harder time getting adopted, and infants with disorders (like down syndrome) are also often not adopted.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/09/22 03:29 AM
39

Looks-money-status all matter, but men on here way underrate charisma and social skills.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/09/22 11:03 PM
2

Everyone needs strength training. It's really important for well-being.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/09/22 09:07 PM
3

I think you're better off with a transactional relationship than raising a child alone. You'll be missing different things if the kid is motherless vs fatherless, but neither is good. Why are you so opposed to having a relationship?
/r/PurplePillDebate29/09/22 09:03 PM
2

They're really boring.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/09/22 07:17 PM
1

I've known a surprising number of people who've had arranged introductions. It actually works really well. When it's done very intentionally, character and shared values are already heavily pre-filtered. That said, this still depends on being part of a functional social network, because you need to know people who will make that introduction.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/09/22 03:16 PM
2

Maybe? Sex can hurt for a long time after giving birth. Scar tissue isn't stretchy.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/09/22 11:44 PM
1

No, but I get the sentiment. I'm not typically effusive though. I think the man in the picture is extremely attractive, but I'm not aroused by looking at him. The pictures are significantly more attractive because of how much movement they show though.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/09/22 10:35 PM
2

We don't need it for finding men, though it helps a bit, particularly in turning interest into an actual relationship. Less than it does for men, I think, and less than cosmetic enhancements. But frame is crucial if you want to be taken seriously at five feet tall. Otherwise it's like "shush, let the adults talk".
/r/PurplePillDebate28/09/22 06:00 PM
2

I don't think many of us really know how to tell.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/09/22 05:15 PM
1

I wanted a really smart, charismatic nerd. I'd say they're extremely uncommon in a random sampling of men, but it's not that hard to find pockets of smart nerds and then it's easy to find my type.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/09/22 04:44 PM
3

There's a difference between finding a guy in a picture attractive and actually getting aroused. If I see a picture of a really hot guy, I might think "wow, he's hot", but I'm not going to masturbate to it.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/09/22 04:19 PM
1

Yes. But it's not more attractive than other less intense physiques. Also, that really intense muscular look requires the right face (which he has). There's a guy at my gym who's huge and it looks like someone pasted the wrong head on his body. He'd be most attractive with a pretty lean but smaller look. Other guys are really well suited to the "lots of muscle with a nice layer of fat" look.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/09/22 04:06 PM
1

Shaved body hair gives me serious ick. I mostly like body hair on men, but even when it's excessive, I don't see how stubble is an improvement. Laser might be okay on really awkward bits of body hair to reduce the intensity.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/09/22 03:57 PM
3

Sounds like a quick path to a dead bedroom. Why would you sabotage your own sex life like that?
/r/PurplePillDebate28/09/22 03:42 PM
1

Modern feminism doesn't know its head from its ass. There is still a need for female specific political advocacy, and it's not actually hard to find all sorts of little things where this matters (crash test dummies). But equality is an impossible goal because biology isn't equal. Going through pregnancy, childbirth, and postpartum makes this abundantly clear. I would be sympathetic to a genuine men's advocacy movement that seriously tried to address men's issues (suicide rates, the specific issu…
/r/PurplePillDebate25/09/22 07:37 PM
4

Right, that's another problem. Men have more innate desire for hookups, and, based on statistics, feel much better about hooking up afterwards than women do. But there's this stupid narrative directed at women to go free their inner sluts and stuff. Never mind that for a large percentage of women, pursuing casual sex isn't even sexually satisfying. Encouraging women to pursue a lifestyle that results in single motherhood is the least empowering act possible, because it pushes them into a life of…
/r/PurplePillDebate25/09/22 07:12 PM
1

It doesn't even need to be secret, just unaffiliated. But then you've got to build a new organization, and that's really hard. I'm very sympathetic towards the difficulty, I just think it's part of a much larger trend.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/09/22 06:36 PM
2

Depends on the nature of the interactions. If unpleasant interactions means "groping", I do.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/09/22 06:17 PM
41

I don't think this is matter of settling or moving bars. Male attraction seems to often be very fast: you see a beautiful woman, and you feel desire. For plenty of women, that's just not how it works. I enjoy looking at attractive men the way I enjoy looking at great art: it's pleasant, but not particularly sexual. And I can get to know a guy and feel attraction even if he's not a work of art. This is why trying OLD never really appealed to me: it simply would not give me useful information. Sam…
/r/PurplePillDebate25/09/22 06:07 PM
25

There does not exist a way to give men and women equal power in this situation. A man will never suffer the consequences of pregnancy and childbirth, and men mostly seem ignorant of the hardships of pregnancy, particularly the men on this subreddit. So those who argue that this is a matter of equality are mistaken. Equality is impossible: a woman deciding whether or not to have a baby is not the same as a man making that decision. And the impact of the decision is also different, because there i…
/r/PurplePillDebate25/09/22 05:47 PM
2

I like reading male authors, but not usually when they talk about women. They'll write great stories and male characters, and lackluster female ones. Except Terry Pratchett. He wrote some truly incredible female characters.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/09/22 05:18 PM
4

My husband watched some instructional videos on /r/sex and holy shit. I was a virgin and he was inexperienced, so neither of us knew what we were doing, but he got really, really good really, really quickly. I don't know that most people have enough sexual partners to really be able to spread new knowledge very effectively through actual sex.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/09/22 04:47 PM
2

The claim you made was about privilege. If we want to talk about burdens, I agree that men and women don't generally carry the same burdens, but men are biologically incapable of shouldering the burden of birthing the next generation, and most are shit at infant care. Men do bear more of the burden of soldiering (again, biology plays a big role), but that's not as constant a burden. The men complaining about it on here are talking about the burdens that other men face, and distant men at that. A…
/r/PurplePillDebate25/09/22 04:19 PM
7

Wife beating in Russia is only criminal if the victim ends up hospitalized. Women in Russia are obviously privileged, right? https://www.google.com/amp/s/hir.harvard.edu/putins-other-war/amp/
/r/PurplePillDebate25/09/22 02:53 PM
–

I don't. But I'm also not into receiving oral sex, so my husband doesn't care.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/09/22 02:17 PM
–

Spousal murder victims are overwhelmingly female, and victims of serious injury from a domestic partner are as well.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/09/22 01:27 PM
5

There's a general trend towards everything being coed now. It's not a single direction. Knitting is known for getting men who really want to talk about how special they are for knitting a scarf. And womens colleges have mostly gone coed. That said, you can seek out male only groups, they just aren't as fashionable as the ones going coed. The freemasons remain male only.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/09/22 01:05 PM
2

Yeah. The worshipping is sort of a turn off, but useful if I need to mount a rebellion.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/09/22 01:52 AM
1

In general, if you haven't asked me, I don't assume you're interested and try not to think about you that way. If I can tell that a guy is interested and I'm not, I'll generally distance myself, but he's got to be really obvious for me to feel aware and awkward.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/09/22 01:49 AM
–

I'm a westerner, and I feel the same way. I don't dislike animals, but the is of spending that much money on them doesn't make sense to me.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/09/22 12:41 AM
1

He has to have told his friends and family that we're engaged.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/09/22 10:34 PM
1

How is this calculated? Orgasms ever? Orgasms in one session? Percentage of sexual encounters?
/r/PurplePillDebate23/09/22 08:13 PM
2

Personality isn't just a matter of decent moral character, which is definitely something that's hard to learn about quickly (although there's some times when things just seem sketch). But there's parts of personality that do come through pretty quickly that are very important to attraction, like humor, smoothness, confidence, extroversion, etc. I have met some men who are just magnetic before they even open their mouths. And Blackpill would often have thought they were hopeless (how is such a sh…
/r/PurplePillDebate23/09/22 08:11 PM
1

The pleasant view is a nice bit of motivation.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/09/22 07:46 PM
1

My husband was balding when I first met him. It's never been one of my selection criteria unless the man in question looks stupid bald.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/09/22 05:42 PM
2

No. It's not my ideal, but whatever. I would freak out though. Waking up next to that unexpectedly would be pretty freaky
/r/PurplePillDebate23/09/22 05:37 PM
14

You need to look at the age breakdown: https://www.pewresearch.org/social-trends/2020/08/20/a-profile-of-single-americans/psdt_08-19-20_dating-relationships-013/ In the under 40 group, there's not a serious gap. It's the over 40 group where men are way more interested in dating then women (which sort of argues against the wall...)
/r/PurplePillDebate23/09/22 03:18 PM
0

Right?! I feel like every woman who's listened to guys talk about boobs has heard a guy disparage how her sort of boobs look at least once.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/09/22 03:05 PM
1

Boobs are very visible. I have no idea about the dick size of random men I meet, so I can't make assumptions based on it. Everyone can see roughly how big my boobs are. I'm not talking about what men are attracted to with boob size or n count. I'm talking about the assumptions they make. If everyone assumes a woman is a slut because of the size of her breasts, how often do you think she gets groped? What happens when she accuses a guy of sexual assault when everyone baselessly assumes she's easy…
/r/PurplePillDebate23/09/22 02:56 PM
-1

Men definitely make assumptions about women based on boob size though. Ask any woman with big boobs how often men assume she's a slut.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/09/22 02:23 PM
1

I actually don't think this particular lie is a terrible one. It's not really a betrayal or something that will put her at risk. It's like lying about exactly how tall you are or your exact weight.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/09/22 12:13 PM
1

I definitely agree. The current result of the "no research" approach is that when a pregnant woman needs to take a medication, we don't have a good understanding of what's safe.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/09/22 04:34 AM
1

With advancement in medical technology and better understanding of the human body I thought we can make it less painful We know very little about pregnancy, really. Running studies on pregnant women is tricky because of how the baby can be impacted. Medical issues during pregnancy are a nightmare to address.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/09/22 04:27 AM
113

Imagine your mom knowing every time you had a new sexual partner
/r/PurplePillDebate23/09/22 02:42 AM
4

I never suggested that it was gross. Just that a highly successful 30 year old man will, on average, be much more attractive to 30 year old women than to a 20 year old woman, and that that might impact the quality of each type that he can get. My sweet spot was always 10 years older, so I'm not one to talk about age gaps. But I do like stats, and I'd seen graph recently and thought it was interesting.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/09/22 01:04 AM
3

I'm not claiming that no women prefer older men, just enough that it influences odds and tradeoffs.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/09/22 12:36 AM
4

Article about a study of what age women find most attractive
/r/PurplePillDebate23/09/22 12:07 AM
3

This would be interesting, because it would also incentivize men to be pickier with their swipes.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/09/22 11:59 PM
2

Women are most attracted to guys similar in age to themselves. A man has opportunities throughout his 20s to increase his worth, financial and otherwise, so the potential maximum value is generally higher at 30 then 20. I'm not sure the average value actually is higher though. And of course there's trade offs. A man who's super hot to women near his own age may not be able to attract the same caliber of woman if he's going much younger.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/09/22 11:41 PM
1

You won't get the choice. For the record, my bitchy aunt gave me the best advice for when I was getting bullied. "Humiliate them whenever they fuck with you or yours". It's the people who get told "just ignore it" or "tell the teacher" that end up chronic victims.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/09/22 08:12 PM
1

It's signaling. I never wanted to date a guy who'd be like "you know what sounds like fun?! Climbing that mountain together!" Of course, at 30 I'm actually more into physical activity and nature than I was at 20, and actually do go to the gym 2 or 3 times a week, so this was maybe stupid. But at the time, I think I would have resented a guy who was obsessed with fitness.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/09/22 08:07 PM
1

5'11" I'm too short for a 6'5" guy to make sense. If I was 5'6" or over I might prefer 6'5", not sure.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/09/22 08:00 PM
1

He looks grumpy.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/09/22 05:03 PM
1

You pull off baldness well. I think you might be in the category of men that need a beard but top of head hair is optional.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/09/22 04:45 PM
1

Ever started talking to a woman and just kept going for hours? You've got decent odds with that one.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/09/22 03:45 PM
1

True, but I think that's settling for the vast majority of them.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/09/22 11:09 AM
0

Maybe it's sort of it's own dating culture? If you filter first based on intellect and only then think about other factors, a lot of more traditional dating methods are sort of unsatisfactory. And the dating pool just doesn't feel very big once you've got it constrained that much, so there's less shopping around. Most men also don't want a woman way smarter than them.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/09/22 03:52 AM
1

If you define woman as "adult human female", then you also need to define female accurately.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/09/22 03:41 AM
2

The more official definition of female is the one with the large gametes, while males have small gametes. That definition is why we define sex in seahorses the way we do.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/09/22 02:58 AM
1

For general sexual appeal, I think this depends on how well he can showcase it. If he's accomplished or quick-witted, that works well. Smart people also just appeal to other smart people. The smartest men and women I know basically don't consider anyone outside of their intellectual league for a LTR.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/09/22 02:53 AM
6

Nah. If a guy doesn't show me that he's super interested, I tend to assume that he isn't and move on. Though "good morning" and "good night" texts don't really matter to me one way or another.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/09/22 02:01 AM
15

The data we have on casual sex makes it pretty clear that men are more into it than women: they desire it more, have fewer regrets, less interest in making it serious... But those are averages. There are women who enjoy casual sex. Of those who've had casual sex, I've seen studies citing anywhere from 40% to 77% of women regretting it. In contrast, men are way more likely to regret not taking an opportunity and not as likely to regret having casual sex. So I don't know that participating in casu…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/09/22 11:51 PM
2

It's still around, but unfashionable. Most people use Discord now I think.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/09/22 09:41 PM
3

That's still a dating site. I've met guys in forums and irc and then hit it off. Places meant for conversation.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/09/22 08:27 PM
1

It's not just the confidence aspect. You've given the woman enough information about yourself that is easier for her to find something to be attracted to, and she feels like you're interested in more than only her body, which is a common complaint women have about men.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/09/22 08:23 PM
1

Unless you're saying that an obese woman isn't necessarily fat, you like some fat women. This article shows some women who are obese. You sure you've never been into a woman that size if she's got the right proportions? Purple's tastes go way, way beyond the obesity line.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/09/22 04:14 PM
3

And you'd probably think she was hot anyway.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/09/22 03:42 PM
3

Yeah, it's the nature of the crime that's so scary. My sister somehow fought her way out of a kidnapping attempt. Thinking about how close we came to losing her still scares the shit out of me.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/09/22 02:02 PM
5

Thr rise of "comfort height" toilets is the worst trend ever.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/09/22 01:52 PM
2

That sounds exhausting.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/09/22 03:06 AM
32

Pregnancy, childbirth, and breastfeeding. They're all hard (in a grueling, painful, exhausting way, not a tricky problem to solve way), and it feels like our society has no place for any of it. They're all joyous too, but pregnancy was basically disabling for me, childbirth sucked, and breastfeeding was the most insane mess of hormones. I'm also short even for a woman, and the world is just not designed for my lack of height. I had to choose my car extremely carefully, because there's plenty I w…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/09/22 02:12 AM
3

You're thinking of schizophrenia.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/09/22 12:03 AM
7

5'3" is hard: even if a lot of women just want someone taller than them, you're shorter than about half of women. As you say though: it's not something you can change, so better focus on what you can. I really do think RP frame can make a big difference. What drives me nuts is the guys who blame all their dating problems on being 5'8".
/r/PurplePillDebate20/09/22 11:50 PM
1

Wait, neck size requirements? I'm terribly curious. Google isn't telling me anything about this. Yeah, I'm certainly not saying there's nothing for women to do in the military. But I'd be very surprised if drafting women equally into combat roles went well.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/09/22 08:19 PM
3

Female IDF soldiers mostly serve in support roles, or in lower risk combat roles that are more like policing or security (border patrol near Egypt). South Korea is just talking about it, not actually doing it. Women taking over many non-combat roles is still very useful to Israel, and women do get training that would be helpful if they do end up in a combat situation. But they don't serve in equal ways. And the push for more equality in the military is ssen as a feminist thing.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/09/22 08:07 PM
3

Sure. But firing a gun is only one part of serving. Otherwise the army wouldn't have physical fitness requirements.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/09/22 07:48 PM
3

That discussion was about contribution to society, not about if the draft should include women. I don't think an equal draft is inherently wrong, but it wouldn't really fix the inherent strength disparity, so you'd still end up with men in combat and women mostly in support roles. I doubt anyone would find the outcome particularly satisfying.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/09/22 07:38 PM
2

I always wonder how these trends work. Do enough butt guys get sick of butts? Are butt and boob guys vying for media power? What's the mechanism?
/r/PurplePillDebate20/09/22 07:26 PM
1

Sort of specific to my location. But I think any hobby that involves presenting material and being challenged on it will force you to learn how to control an interaction.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/09/22 01:29 PM
0

Given that the stats he's referring to are global ones, 4-5 is high. About 50% of women in the world are married by age 18. Obviously, most of the women making up that stat live in parts of the world where that's expected.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/09/22 12:02 PM
1

I used to get treated as trivial a lot. People were chivalrous and paternalistic, so I didn't have problems with lines or anything, but men and anyone older than me never listened or took me seriously. I'm very short and my default expression is cheerful. I took up a public speaking based hobby, which taught me what RP calls frame. It's been a total game changer. I can very often get people to defer to my authority now, even when I have none. However, it never deterred guys trying to hit on me. …
/r/PurplePillDebate20/09/22 11:54 AM
1

Not unless it was for a good reason, like having an actual defect, or as part of a treatment for another condition. I'd rather date a confident short guy than an insecure underwear model. Cosmetic surgery is a sign of insecurity.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/09/22 02:54 AM
17

If you serve, you get benefits. I'm open to the idea that veteran benefits ought to be better, but that's the correct distribution mechanism. Most American men today don't serve in the military. In contrast, getting pregnant and giving birth is common for women. Get back to me when you figure out some way of making that experience a fair one.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/09/22 01:03 AM
2

Bad social skills are a dating death sentence. He needs to focus on improving those if he wants to have good options. Style also helps, though at 200k salary, he can just pay someone to figure that out for him.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/09/22 10:33 PM
8

Randomly meeting someone international organically isn't controversial. It's the mail order bride and similar transactional arrangements that get people annoyed.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/09/22 08:00 PM
2

A minority of young women find old guys attractive. But if you've found a woman who likes old guys and wants casual or FWB, I don't see anything wrong with it. But that's an even worse market for men than normal casual sex.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/09/22 02:40 PM
5

Depends what you mean by rough. I find stuff like choking and degradation repulsive. My husband being extra forceful and making me feel his strength is hot. It's interesting looking at fantasies over time. Romance novels from the 80s are sort of off-putting to modern sensibilities because they tend to be pretty rapey. They generally don't feature painful sex though. Rather, the heroine of the story usually finds the hero very attractive but obnoxious or bossy, and then he finally decides that he…
/r/PurplePillDebate19/09/22 02:34 PM
3

It's true in the US too.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/09/22 11:36 AM
19

But then you're looking at everything through that lens. Confirmation bias.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/09/22 03:35 AM
33

You're basing your understanding of women on two observations in high school? Really?
/r/PurplePillDebate19/09/22 03:16 AM
18

It's entertaining. I like spaces with high levels of disagreement that don't degenerate into vitriolic personal attacks. They're not so common right now. And my schedule keeps giving me stupid fragments of time in random locations that are pretty hard to use more productively.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/09/22 12:07 AM
0

Nah, it starts to get awkward at a certain height difference. I had a friend who was a full 18" taller than me. That would have just been absurd. His GF was above average height.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/09/22 08:57 PM
2

The man you refuse even as an orbiter is the worst ime. I think it's very context dependant though. A player is probably going to have more ambiguous drunk situations, while an orbiter will has more opportunity to abuse the trust of a woman who thinks he's a friend.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/09/22 08:52 PM
2

Lol. She's overweight, maybe even obese. She's lucky with the fat distribution though, it's stayed away from her chin and waist.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/09/22 08:29 PM
5

The way you carry yourself is extremely important. And not just for getting sex, also for getting jobs and sounding like you know what you're talking about.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/09/22 08:26 PM
2

The casual sex market is very skewed because way more men want it than women. Judging women by how the casual sex market works is always going to give you a weird picture.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/09/22 08:20 PM
5

Right? My impression of a man who's 5'8" is that he's a pretty typical man height.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/09/22 07:51 PM
5

And have you actually been rejected for not being fit? Of course a fit man is hotter. Duh. They're not exactly abundantly available though. But if the fit guy is available and all you offer more of than him is complaints, you're going to have a hard time.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/09/22 06:04 PM
4

Not really enough fit guys to go around.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/09/22 05:40 PM
0

I was wondering about that, thanks. Google wasn't terribly clear.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/09/22 02:29 PM
2

Your example is incoherent. If we're truly not prosecuting any speech at all, then I can go announce to the entire world that my neighbor is a violent threat, and that's totally legal. I am very happy with how our first amendment is understood. Freedom of speech does indeed have it's limits, although I think incitement is a better example than a crime threat, because then the speaker isn't participating in a non-speech crime. Regardless, the speech that people complain gets them cancelled is typ…
/r/PurplePillDebate18/09/22 02:07 PM
2

TERFs care about all of those issues and more. I heard the stuff about Jacob Blake from one. But they aren't allowed to congregate freely on social media. When any movement ties itself too closely to a party, it loses its way. See the ACLU and how it's changed over time.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/09/22 01:19 PM
2

That is not how freedom of speech laws work. Not at all. Actually planning a crime is illegal. Your neighbor can be reported to the FBI. This has absolutely nothing to with speech. Furthermore, there's no reason why freedom of speech would burden your ability to speak up about a crime.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/09/22 01:08 PM
2

We didn't date that long tbh. I wanted to wait to have sex until I was engaged at least, so that sort of forces relationships to either progress or die pretty quick. The age issues are less about the gap and more about the disadvantages of older parents more generally, which are sort of inevitable if the gap is big enough. Less energy for kids, parents having medical issues while the kids are still school age, and dying before spending time with grandkids. This doesn't really apply too much to a…
/r/PurplePillDebate18/09/22 01:54 AM
3

My experience was similar. I got married when I was 21 and my husband was 28. But I also only ever dated for marriage. Even my mom always sort of figured that I'd marry a slightly older guy. And she tried to set me up with a guy with a 10 year gap once... I also find even older men attractive, but I think once you get too much past a 10 year gap there's practical issues if you want to raise a family together.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/09/22 12:52 AM
1

Eh. I'm not saying men don't like slim. But there's a big difference between the fashionable look and what you see in porn. The slim look may be in higher demand than supply though.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/09/22 12:22 AM
41

Psychopaths are known to be really good at getting people interested in short term relationships, friendships, etc, but they suck at actually maintaining those relationships long term. Many psychopaths are very charismatic, and they tend to be somewhat socially dominant. This is all very sexually attractive. The thing is, if you actually get to know the guy for a while, you inevitably find that he's a major asshole. I knew a guy that I considered a friend who turned out to be very dark triad. He…
/r/PurplePillDebate16/09/22 11:28 PM
1

Exactly! Being thrown onto the bed is lots of fun. If a guy were to just choke me out of the blue? Nope. Bye.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/09/22 09:33 PM
1

I think both men and women perceive their own genders appearance very differently from how the opposite sex does. A lot of women really admire slim, elegant looking women. Model types. Men seem less into that look. I can't say anything as clear about how men and women perceive men's physical appearance (though there's obviously differences), but I can say that men overestimate the importance of their physique to their attractiveness. It's never a bad thing to be hot, and it's essential on OLD, b…
/r/PurplePillDebate16/09/22 09:24 PM
5

The first guy I was head over heels for I didn't even see a picture of until we'd been talking for months. This was in ye olde forum days. He was extremely attractive, ngl, but that's not what sparked the attraction.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/09/22 09:11 PM
8

Because some of us like babies and think big families are nice. Two still seems really lonely to me. The pregnancy part sucks though.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/09/22 08:58 PM
15

Having female friends is generally a good thing. There just need to be appropriate boundaries. I wouldn't worry about women you hang out with in group settings, they'll always be a plus. My experience is that really close male-female friendships will eventually involve a "are we mutually interested" discussion. If it goes "ew, you're like my brother", it's all good. If it's "yes, but for rational reasons it'll never work", you can't really stay as close if you're dating other people.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/09/22 05:30 PM
1

It takes more effort to socialize at once you have kids. My husband has an okay social life, he's been really busy lately, but when he's not going crazy I push him to setting up regular social stuff. He's probably going to start another D&D group soon. But we have to conciously help each other make time to socialize, it doesn't just happen now that we've got a toddler.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/09/22 03:09 PM
2

You realize that even lesbian porn is staged, right? They're focusing on what will get the viewers off, not each other. There is good instructional porn that is linked to in the /r/sex wiki, but it's a very niche category. And unless you're watching those specific videos, you're just picking up bad habits.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/09/22 12:08 PM
2

I also see it with men from more traditional cultures. Some of them are very affectionate with their male friends.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/09/22 12:51 AM
3

Freemasons too. They're shrinking because young men just aren't joining.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/09/22 12:21 AM
8

Why would I ever want my face attached to that dreck? It's trashy. Also, it looks like he's more a fan of personal attacks than proper debate. That's not enjoyable or productive.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/09/22 10:08 PM
1

Even less smart ones. I've met a few men who were definitely trying to neg me and then very suddenly flipped to "let me formally court you and come meet my mother" vibes when I started arguing with them. Really, really funny.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/09/22 09:54 PM
1

Eh. If you talk to divorced couples, it still sounds much harder than a breakup. Like, there's paperwork involved and all this financial junk. Blech.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/09/22 07:34 PM
2

Being well built goes a long way for a man, yeah. Even if he's sort of fat, the muscles can give his body the right shape. It's when he gets a huge belly or ass or moobs that things start to go south, because then his overall shape isn't as nice.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/09/22 07:11 PM
3

Nah, divorce is definitely harder than a breakup. Our cultural understanding of divorce is fucked up right now (too much "go find yourself" BS when they could just stay married and do some extra self care), but marriage is still different.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/09/22 07:04 PM
3

Frankenstein was a dumbass, but the monster was the worst sort of violent incel.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/09/22 06:19 PM
1

It's really fashionable to sleep around right now, so those voices are louder. If you value your own chastity and the chastity of your partner, stay chaste and look for a more traditional woman. The truth is, while everyone loves talking about the women who love casual sex, they're a minority. They make for fun TV shows and men who want casual sex obviously focus a lot of attention on women who have casual sex. You can look up sociosexuality: most women have pretty restricted sociosexuality and …
/r/PurplePillDebate15/09/22 06:14 PM
1

Seriously, when I've talked to single women, they complain about no orgasms and bad partners. My married friends just look smug.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/09/22 06:06 PM
2

I'm doing fine, no worries. I had a pretty good relationship with my parents as a teenager, which helped. But it's something I've been thinking about for what I want to do with my own children.
/r/RedPillWomen15/09/22 05:56 PM
2

Yeah. My parents both worked a ton and we had a series of nannies. They'd nanny for a few years and then one retired, another changed careers, and another got married and had her own kids. I got close to most of them and was absolutely devastated when they left. The one who got married did keep in touch at least: we got invited to her holiday parties and stuff, which was really nice. She's a lovely woman and genuinely cared for us, but she had her own life. And I also just wanted more of my mom:…
/r/RedPillWomen15/09/22 05:35 PM
3

Okay, but then you're getting into abortion, which is a whole nother kettle of fish. And illegal where I live.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/09/22 04:58 PM
4

If you lie to get casual sex, you deserve mockery if you bitch about paying child support. Yes, it's morally wrong. You want people to treat men as trustworthy and moral? Then act that way.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/09/22 04:55 PM
4

Full control isn't possible. Even the most effective birth control methods fail. Our culture likes to pretend we can control nature, but it's hubris. Casual sex is just a dumb idea. But it's very fashionable.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/09/22 04:41 PM
9

It's dependent on fat distribution. A woman who puts weight on mostly in her gut looks unfortunate unless she's quite slim. But if it goes to T&A? She won't get many complaints, even if she gets quite heavy. Men are okay if they've got a fairly even distribution over muscle, but any concentration of fat tends to look either very fat or awkwardly feminine.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/09/22 04:08 PM
1

Because they're hard to find, expensive, have a very high failure rate (higher than male condoms) and they're just a dumb option compared to what is available. If a woman is sexually active but doesn't want to be pregnant she should absolutely use birth control. But getting hung up on the female condom specifically is just stupid.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/09/22 04:01 PM
6

Marriage is one way to do that. But before the pill, we also used shotgun marriages and social stigma to force men to take responsibility.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/09/22 03:49 PM
1

Why can't a woman carry a male condom and tell him to wear it? Those are actually easy to keep on hand.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/09/22 03:45 PM
1

We've had this discussion before. Male condoms are more effective than female condoms, and women mostly use hormonal birth control. Ideally, you use both hormonal birth control and condoms to prevent STDs and to deal with the possibility of birth control failure, but you can't use both types of condoms at once, then they just tear.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/09/22 03:27 PM
3

Forced abortion and adoption are immoral. And abortion is mostly illegal where I live anyway. I'm a mom, and the idea of anyone forcing me to give up my kid is worst nightmare territory. No. We just need to admit that a culture of casual sex is totally dysfunctional.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/09/22 02:02 PM
3

Sure, it's more effective if you know what you're doing. But there's a failure rate even with perfect use, and even with methods that don't really allow user error, like the IUD. Also, it's important to be realistic. Someone with inconsistent hours is going to fuck up with the pill And should consider other methods. And there's really ineffective methods like the sponge out there too.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/09/22 01:58 PM
9

You clearly don't understand how birth control works. Every form of birth control has a failure rate, and some are easy to screw up. I know plenty of married couples who had oopsy babies. Including one woman who got pregnant on an IUD. I also know a woman who got pregnant after her BF poked holes in the condoms. Accessible birth control spelled the end of the shotgun marriage, and the end of our culture holding men accountable for where they ejaculate. But that has lead to a strong increase in s…
/r/PurplePillDebate15/09/22 12:16 PM
4

My mom knew a woman who's BF poked a hole in the condom to get her pregnant.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/09/22 12:02 PM
1

One looks so young it's incredibly off-putting. But neither is really my type.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/09/22 03:17 AM
2

I oversimplified, but there are cases that follow that pattern. I imagine they sex trafficking often does. How the law is written obviously matters. The key to classifying this sort of situation as self defense is demonstrating that there is a real risk to life, even if the time frame is unconventional.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/09/22 11:55 PM
2

I'd rather the index fund really. This has always been my issue with the cool cars. They're super awesome, but what if he's just financially irresponsible?
/r/PurplePillDebate14/09/22 11:31 PM
5

I wouldn't consider this conventional vigilantism because it's done by the victim. One of the tricky things with sex trafficking and domestic violence cases is that the risk of the victim being killed goes way, way up when she tries to escape. That's the most dangerous time. So her life may not be currently in danger, but she also has no way of escaping without putting her life in danger. And she's not on even footing if she tries to confront him head on. So, here's the choices: A) stab him in h…
/r/PurplePillDebate14/09/22 10:52 PM
2

It's not something I've thought about much tbh. My husband is low n, but I never really probed or anything. I can see where 10 might leave you with concerns about seriousness, but it also doesn't give me the impression that he's been really dedicated to fucking around.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/09/22 09:49 PM
2

Men who have the opportunity to be a manwhore are very attractive, but taking those opportunities is a negative to women with restricted sociosexuality. Women with unrestricted sociosexuality don't penalize it at all. N=10 isn't necessarily a manwhore. That's not a hard number to hit without any casual sex.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/09/22 09:32 PM
3

Oh, sure. But the point is that there's an element of settling. A man who wants a low n wife reduces his value by being being a manwhore. He's just starting at a decent baseline.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/09/22 08:22 PM
5

Women who want casual sex find manwhores attractive. And manwhores are generally attractive, but not as a result of being manwhores. It's the other way around: they're manwhores because they're attractive. I agree that there's very little stigma against casual sex, but sex is more complicated than just stigma and libido. When you're talking about people who have voluntarily been pretty chaste, sociosexuality comes into play, which is about the desire not for sex, but to sleep around. Low sociose…
/r/PurplePillDebate14/09/22 07:21 PM
1

Read "How to Win Friends and Influence People". Focus on making people feel listened to and they'll like you more.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/09/22 02:43 PM
27

Promiscuity in men is also strongly associated with men later cheating. Why should she settle for a manwhore? Restricted sociosexuality is associated with both waiting to have sex and valuing the chastity of your partner. Some men here are really in denial about that. Low n women want low n men. If you want a virgin, you have to be worth her virginity. If she's stayed a virgin, she assigns some value to it. Part of that value is she has to plausibly believe that you'll be the one and only, and w…
/r/PurplePillDebate14/09/22 02:33 PM
2

This may sound harsh, but once you have children with a man, divorce needs to be off the table except for stuff like abuse or infidelity. Your children will be far better off with a stable two parent home, and you will be far worse off if you divorce. Not only will you still have the exhaustion of having toddlers, you will have less support and be much poorer. A surprisingly high percentage of people regret their divorce. You should work on yourself and your marriage to make your life feel bigge…
/r/RedPillWomen14/09/22 12:43 PM
1

Oh, definitely. But it's also a very common part of life.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/09/22 11:26 AM
2

I wonder that as well. I'm not all that picky about a lot of conventional attractiveness, but I really don't find blondes the least bit sexually attractive.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/09/22 09:33 PM
8

My main concern with these arrangements is just making sure there's adequate protection for the women. Make sure they aren't trafficked and keep them safe from domestic violence. Organizations to help keep these women connected to each other and to other immigrants from their country of origin seem like a good idea, because being totally alone in a new country married to a man you don't know very well is definitely a hard position to be in. I'd want robust laws and good funding for support progr…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/09/22 09:01 PM
3

Eh, 7 months can happen during the pregnancy and breastfeeding stage of things, depending on hormones and health. But it should resolve once the hormones die down a bit and you catch your breath. In any case, the solution is as you say. You put some effort into getting closer again and start having sex again. Not rocket science.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/09/22 08:32 PM
–

It's really hard to get past HR if you don't have either a degree or connections.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/09/22 12:12 PM
–

Right wing women seem to either fall into the "family values" camp or the "lower my taxes" camp.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/09/22 12:02 PM
3

Lol. Best people in the world is laying it on a bit thick. I'm sure I'll get bored of this sub soon, but it's a fun place. It has a very "old internet" feel that I'm nostalgic about.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/09/22 02:49 AM
2

It doesn't really occur to me really. I usually ask for help when I'm already mid project and realize that I either lack the strength or height for a specific task. Usually after trying and failing.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/09/22 02:38 AM
6

I did. They'd still rather work. Have you ever spent a few days with a newborn or a toddler? They're exhausting. I supported my husband through school while we had a newborn. I know the provider role well, and I've juggled utterly insane schedules to manage both providing and childcare. I can easily compare the roles because I have done both.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/09/22 02:13 AM
1

Yeah, I feel like this element is seriously underrated. I've met guys online... In the era of irc chatrooms. I remember the Skypeing for the very first time and seeing what they looked like after spending months chatting. Modern online dating seems totally backwards to me.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/09/22 01:59 AM
7

I've talked to fathers IRL about this. They'd all rather work. I don't really know any men IRL who love dealing with the under five crowd for more than a few hours at a time.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/09/22 01:46 AM
1

What's the fun in that?
/r/PurplePillDebate13/09/22 01:07 AM
5

Nah. When I went back to work after having my kid, I was amazed at how much easier work was than childcare. And cleaning is not my strong point. I'd rather do babycare than work because being separated from my baby when he was tiny made me feel like my heart was being ripped out. But once the kiddos are old enough? I'd much rather work and hire cleaning help.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/09/22 01:01 AM
1

No, but people open up to me anyway. I have the opposite of RBF, and am treated accordingly. It's sometimes sort of interesting, but often tedious. If I had no morals, I'd make a great con artist.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/09/22 12:55 AM
1

Sometimes. From what I've seen, she'll get less naive about it, but still really struggle emotionally with the pressure. For an agreeable person, a bunch of people wanting stuff from you is just never going to be easy to deal with. They don't really think as much in terms of "what's in it for me?".
/r/PurplePillDebate12/09/22 08:25 PM
1

One of the key factors here is the agreeable personality. A beautiful woman with a somewhat disagreeable personality (not necessarily bitchy, but not compliant) will tell the guy to go fuck himself. She'll have sex when it suits her. But an agreeable woman? Particularly one without much experience? She'll agonize. Maybe she doesn't want to put out, but she feels like he won't keep loving her otherwise. Or she feels bad if she hurts his feelings. It doesn't matter how beautiful, she's not thinkin…
/r/PurplePillDebate12/09/22 08:05 PM
1

Can't hit the strength requirements. Manual labor jobs with higher strength requirements pay more.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/09/22 07:49 PM
3

Specifically, if a young woman wants to not be promiscuous, agreeableness is going to hurt her. You need a certain level of disagreeableness to resist the temptation to conform.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/09/22 07:08 PM
10

Young people are generally sort of stupid. Agreeable people are more likely to get caught up in other people's stupidity, and hot young women generally have a lot of people trying to get her to go be stupid with them. It's just hard to navigate. I don't think it necessarily works out badly for the women in question, but it does necessitate extra caution. The really beautiful women I know haven't really benefitted from the numbers game because they're too wary. They either end up with guys they'v…
/r/PurplePillDebate12/09/22 03:34 PM
1

Yup. It's hard to escape. It's in Teen Vogue (seriously, they had an article about how to have anal). And teenage girls are very persuadable.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/09/22 03:07 PM
3

Given that the divorce rate is higher for couples who cohabited before marriage, it seems that some knowledge is too costly to be worth gathering. I put uncommitted sex in that category as well.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/09/22 04:12 AM
3

Furthermore, men do everything they can to push women who don't want to engage in casual sex into doing it. A woman either needs a deep religious conviction to avoid it or to be pretty contrarian. All this bs about "if you loved me you'd sleep with my already".
/r/PurplePillDebate12/09/22 04:06 AM
1

Reasons matter. Cutting funding to something because of budget is unfortunate but part of budgeting. Cutting funding to DV shelters for the sake of equality is dystopian, because the purpose of the decision is to hurt people. That's the whole point.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/09/22 03:54 AM
3

But in the name of equality.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/09/22 03:08 AM
0

The janitor at my high school was actually known for being really fun to talk to. He was happily married.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/09/22 11:31 PM
6

Getting rid of DV shelters in the name of equality is dystopian.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/09/22 11:12 PM
0

If we're going for dystopian equality, we can just neuter everyone. Childbirth is a terribly unequal situation after all.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/09/22 08:35 PM
3

I don't think older women feel like they're competing particularly directly with younger women. It's a relatively small percentage of women who will date all that much older, particularly when they're young. There may be some more abstract jealousy, but I haven't really seen it manifest as antagonism. Women who caution against older men are usually coming from a place of concern, ime. I have some age gap with my husband. Less than a decade, but I also got married at 21, so it was a large age gap…
/r/PurplePillDebate11/09/22 08:26 PM
6

When you're so anti-feminist that you oppose domestic violence shelters. JFC.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/09/22 06:13 PM
1

It's obvious. You're not interested in an open relationship, but she won't compromise on it. How does that work when you have kids? Do you just accept that your children won't be yours? So you paternity test? What if it's negative? How do you handle the financial stuff? Do you allow her to introduce her boyfriends to the kids (a non-father boyfriend of mom's in the house dramatically increases the risk of child abuse, including child sexual abuse)? Anyone who has seen many poly or open relations…
/r/PurplePillDebate11/09/22 05:33 PM
3

There's always going to be exceptions. That's expected, really. But the general trend is that way more men like casual sex than women, so women who want it have more opportunity for casual sex (and women who want relationships are nervous about being deceived by a man who only wants casual). Speaking as a married woman, I'm advising you to break up with her. She's either not that into you or incapable of having a monogamous relationship. Neither works for the future you want.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/09/22 04:08 PM
7

I'm a woman and feel similarly. Once a man is attractive enough that sex seems like a good idea rather than a gross one, I don't care that much if he's okay looking vs mega hot. It's more useful to focus on his other traits at that point.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/09/22 06:51 AM
8

When I've been heavier, the proportion of guys interested in me shifts more towards black guys. I think this only applies to women who get big butts though. I don't really see black guys dating fat women with flat butts.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/09/22 01:11 AM
2

Flyover country.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/09/22 11:33 PM
3

The social skills to maintain good friendships are great and important, but not the same as what's needed to be sexually appealing.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/09/22 11:01 PM
0

I don't agree with this. The idea of a man having sex with me, and then ghosting but giving me lots of money would still leave me feeling used, even if in a financial sense I was overcompensated. Like, obviously the sex for resources trade is an ancient one, but human emotions and hormones are still at play here.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/09/22 10:48 PM
5

Yup. I've known a good number of autistic guys. Their problem is generally a mix of conversational skills and body language that is just off. Tbf, this is not easy stuff to learn. But it's easier than increasing your height as an adult.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/09/22 10:11 PM
1

No. It depends on how big his penis is, how deep her her vag is when aroused, and what sort of stimulation she prefers. A lot of women say they orgasm best from receiving oral and never orgasm from penetration. A large penis is unlikely to be all that exciting for a woman like that. It may even be a disadvantage, as there are negatives to a big dick too. Like more chafing. And if the penis is too big (which varies by woman, to be clear), sex will hurt, quite possibly to the point of being a deal…
/r/PurplePillDebate09/09/22 01:00 PM
2

I was very clear about my expectations (I wanted to wait for PIV until we were engaged). My husband proposed very quickly, possibly as a result... He wasn't very experienced, but he learned pretty quick, and found some fun resources in the /r/sex wiki that helped. It could have gone poorly I guess. It probably helped that I was down to explore a bit sexually before engagement, just not anything with any risk of pregnancy.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/09/22 12:18 PM
1

Nothing. Maybe laziness sometimes. But if she's getting great orgasms, I think she'll be very happy with the state of things. And fingers and oral are both known to be more effective at that than dick for most women.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/09/22 03:08 AM
1

I don't think we all have the same ones, tbh. Being a better provider is probably the most consistent one though. Being stronger, more in control of a situation. That's all really sexy. Other stuff is more variable. I wanted a guy on the same level as me intellectually, I didn't need him to be smarter.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/09/22 11:54 PM
0

You can learn to get the wow factor through other means. /r/sex has some good guides in their wiki
/r/PurplePillDebate08/09/22 11:38 PM
1

Because what looks good in a still photo may be very underwhelming IRL.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/09/22 10:11 PM
3

He needs to be more competent on some element that she cares about. Not on everything.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/09/22 09:29 PM
1

She'll remain frustrated then. She won't be special to the men she's dating, and she won't necessarily find them more attractive IRL than men she doesn't find attractive from a still photo. It's just not a useful sorting mechanism for most women. One of the comments talks about meeting a man on hinge she initially rejected based on the photo (and ultimately accepted based on a witty comment), and IRL she thinks he's absolute perfection and incredibly hot. But her intense attraction to him wasn't…
/r/PurplePillDebate08/09/22 09:02 PM
5

She says she has no such trouble with IRL dating. I think a lot of the trouble is that a lot of women simply aren't attracted to still photos of men. If I look at a photo of Chris Hemsworth or Jason Momoa, I'll certainly find them pleasant to look at. They have incredible physiques. But it doesn't make me horny or give me tingles or anything. But IRL, I've quite strongly desired men who are not nearly as physically beautiful as those super hot actors, but who move or talk in a way I find appeali…
/r/PurplePillDebate08/09/22 06:24 PM
0

It's low sociosexuality. Correlated with libido, but not actually the same. It's also related to how easily a woman gets grossed out.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/09/22 06:05 PM
2

Meh. I think RP has some interesting insights about attraction. But they're very focused on hookups and that means they have no compunction about advocating for tactics that a mentally well person would never used on a loved one.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/09/22 03:44 PM
2

Better for histrionic personality disorder. Narcissists need praise and students are not known for praising teachers easily. Histrionics are happy to just be the center of attention, and teaching well generally involves commanding attention.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/09/22 01:54 PM
–

Georgina Horne. She shut down her blog maybe a year ago, but there's still some pics around (her weight definitely fluctuated with time, but I think she's always been at least overweight). Why?
/r/PurplePillDebate08/09/22 02:47 AM
–

I never really know what guys on here mean when they talk about obesity. Like, clearly, there's the extremely large people who you picture overflowing the mobility scooter at Walmart. But there's also people like this plus size fashion blogger, who don't look bad to me, but idk if she's still perceived as obese (I'm pretty sure she is medically) https://images.app.goo.gl/Hq8uDvS94EBjwPnq8
/r/PurplePillDebate08/09/22 01:42 AM
–

Ick. Even when I was in a really bad place financially, no. The level of disgust I feel at the idea of giving a random man a BJ would probably get him puked on.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/09/22 01:16 AM
3

That's probable. Good communication is an asset, but not sufficient all on it's own. Still, it's certainly not a detriment. And OP's description of himself makes physical unattractiveness sound like an unlikely reason.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/09/22 09:23 PM
1

A masculine bone structure is not generally considered a asset for female beauty. A strong brow and jaw is considered pretty unfortunate looking on a woman.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/09/22 08:40 PM
5

Because dating apps are insane?
/r/PurplePillDebate07/09/22 08:07 PM
3

Wait, when you talk to a woman for hours, how do you then proceed? I hear the "we really meshed" and "then she dates bros", but you don't explain the important step of "what happens when I tell her I'm interested".
/r/PurplePillDebate07/09/22 06:32 PM
3

I waited to have sex until I was engaged, and yeah, I wouldn't have required a man to be a virgin, but a manwhore or a porn user would have been a problem. Partially, waiting to have sex is all about wanting it to happen within the context of deep commitment. And jerking off to other women isn't really compatible with that.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/09/22 12:37 PM
1

I agree with you actually. There's some cultural message encouraging hookups, and it feels somehow very old-fashioned to speak against it. It doesn't seem to serve many people though. The women I've known who've slept around the most have really unhealthy relationships with sex and often a history of trauma.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/09/22 12:06 PM
1

You need to want to have sex with him. I'm much more influenced by body language than by raw physical appearance (still photos never really do much for me), but it's still a physical attraction.
/r/RedPillWomen07/09/22 04:53 AM
4

That's more about him treating her as the manager of the home and not doing anything unless instructed. Managing is hard, and it's also hard to split. Done wrong, and you just have both people exhausting themselves over the same work.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/09/22 03:52 AM
1

Most of the studies suggest between 3-10%. That's the best data we have.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/09/22 01:02 AM
1

Right. And I agree that procedure is important. I don't agree that it has anything at all to do with the false accusation rate. Even if the rate were only 1%, the right to due process remains vital. It's your numbers I take issue with. You keep bringing up 50%, and that's not what the data you bring up implies. It's obviously not an easy subject to collect data on, but none of the data we have, including the data that you presented, points to a 50% false accusation rate. Like, even when there's …
/r/PurplePillDebate07/09/22 12:47 AM
1

No. You could argue it's pedantic though.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/09/22 12:09 AM
2

I don't think the compensation for a small penis is financial. More skill with hands and mouth. If you're great at giving her orgasms, it's hard for her complain. Charisma is the single quality that can most easily make up for any appearance issues. Money is good, but the value is pretty relative. Not easy to quantify. The amount of money that will get you noticed is wildly different depending on the women you're around.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/09/22 12:08 AM
1

I feel like the personal trainer might be the better investment. The research on exercise improving mental well-being is pretty convincing, and therapists are sort of luck of the draw.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/09/22 11:51 PM
2

The best phrase I've heard is "maybe you can have it all. But not all at once". I've known women who've done this. Had kids in their early 20s and were crazy high power and status by 50.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/09/22 11:07 PM
1

Because I'm neurotic about misleading statistics. They drive me nuts. That's why I said that possibly was doing a lot of work, not that you were lying.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/09/22 10:48 PM
7

My mother was the one demanding the ceremony with all the guests. I'm still jealous that my sister got married during COVID and didn't have that demand. Party planning sucks.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/09/22 10:32 PM
2

No. I'm saying it's highly unlikely that they're all false accusations. There's a lot of reasons why an investigation wouldn't proceed. Implying that a rape accusation not going anywhere means it's false is misleading. It means we lack data on that category.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/09/22 10:02 PM
2

You're assuming I'm making an argument I'm not. I have zero criticism of procedural fairness. I'm just saying you said that the data you presented could mean as many as half of rape accusations are false. But I'm very skeptical that all of the 45% of rape accusations that go nowhere are false, which is what would be required for half of the accusations to be false. I'd actually say that's highly improbable. I won't argue that zero of that category are false either: it's just a category that we d…
/r/PurplePillDebate06/09/22 09:35 PM
1

Sure, there's plenty of men who want a connection. Plenty of women who do too. But there's also plenty of men who just want sex, and they will happily have it even with women they disdain. I wouldn't call that being interested in am emotional connection.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/09/22 09:24 PM
2

No, seriously, the claim that not proceeding makes a claim likely to be false seems really suspect. There's just a lack of information if the case never went anywhere. I'm totally on board with procedural fairness and not a fan of Twitter mob justice. No disagreement there. Due process is an important right.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/09/22 09:00 PM
2

Do they want human connection, or just a hole to fuck?
/r/PurplePillDebate06/09/22 08:31 PM
2

Agreed. 7" penises are not very common according to penis size stats. My husband let me measure his because I was curious. I definitely could not have made an accurate guess.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/09/22 08:11 PM
2

"possibly" is doing a lot of work there.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/09/22 06:20 PM
1

I've found the men at my gym friendly but not forward, which is nice. It might help that there's always beautiful people not wearing much clothing, so it's an exceptionally easy place to fade into the background.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/09/22 05:58 PM
3

That sounds like fun, tbh.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/09/22 05:44 PM
0

In response to 5: how much do you think this is men actually not enjoying time with women very much vs just not valuing spending time with men as much as they ought to? I know a lot of men default to making a gf or wife his entire social life and don't really pursue guy time. That's never struck me as a particularly healthy approach.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/09/22 05:22 PM
1

If you want to read books, both Helen Joyce and Kathleen Stock have published on the topic.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/09/22 04:23 AM
0

I'm a straight woman.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/09/22 03:26 AM
1

I'm the one who wanted to wait.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/09/22 03:04 AM
7

It's really important if you want children. There's a ton of data about the advantages of a committed two parent home for child-rearing, and the stats show that married couples, while more divorce prone than in the past, provide a more stable home environment than cohabiting parents. Otherwise? Depends on your goals I guess.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/09/22 02:52 AM
7

And tons of men would line up for a virgin -- there's just aren't any takers on the other side Serious matching problem there. Some men value it. Most men are just annoyed when his gf won't put out without at least a proposal.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/09/22 02:39 AM
2

As a general rule, the more closely someone pays attention to politics, the more strongly they conform to their party line. (Someone ran a study). This is somewhat less true of Libertarians, probably because it's really hard to stay deeply in a Libertarian bubble, so they're more likely to say something interesting. They also seem less prone than either Democrats or Republicans to believe that people who disagree with them are literally evil. Which is really important if you want a good, enjoyab…
/r/PurplePillDebate06/09/22 12:07 AM
2

Are you unaware that firefighter is a common career for romance novel heros?
/r/PurplePillDebate05/09/22 11:19 PM
1

A good rule is to make male feminists explain exactly what they mean by feminism. Because yes, the absolute worst creeps I've known are self-identified male feminists. But I know others who mostly mean they listen to a female loved one talk about specific issues and think she's got a point.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/09/22 08:47 PM
16

Oh please stop spamming and acting like feminism is so simple. It's an incoherent claim by now. I consider myself a feminist because I literally engage in feminist activism: mostly for paid parental leave. I'm happy to tell friends about my feminism, but I'm not going to broadcast a feminist identity, because, as a term, it means totally different things to different listeners, so it's terrible communication. Like, I'm anti-porn, anti-prostitution, and anti-casual sex. If I say I'm a feminist, m…
/r/PurplePillDebate05/09/22 08:38 PM
0

Right? My aunt would straight up mock me when I cried. My dad was kinder about it, but he was very much in the "crying is for babies" camp.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/09/22 08:15 PM
3

Libertarians are the most fun to argue with.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/09/22 07:16 PM
1

Pregnancy, postpartum, and breastfeeding are all very disruptive to career development. Variably so, of course. Some women are really disabled by pregnancy, and others find it no big deal. Postpartum hormones are also insane, and make going back to work quickly really rough. A mother pursuing this path is simply pushing herself harder than a father doing the same. None of this is to say an individual woman can't make it work for her. Clearly, some do. Women with money can hire a night nurse to a…
/r/PurplePillDebate05/09/22 07:01 PM
2

Having babies gets in the way. Childless women are better represented in positions of power than mothers are.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/09/22 04:52 PM
9

No. I don't see why swiping left would ever really be an asshole move. It's not like you're being nasty to anyone. Tactically, it may or may not be that helpful. Feminist is an extraordinarily uninformative label, but otoh, I've heard dating apps penalize men who swipe right too much of the time, so having a kind of arbitrary filter might not be the worst thing.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/09/22 04:46 PM
2

The second is hotter, imo.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/09/22 04:42 PM
4

Sort of? But he means he supports stuff like maternity leave and that he's pro-choice. I don't think he thinks about feminism much unless I'm telling him about specific feminist issues, so it's kind of a stupid label for him to adopt. He's sort of Bernie bro-ish. Quite lefty on economics, and not really either very woke or anti-woke. I distrust and dislike both political parties, so I find the pro team blue stuff a little stupid. Like, get back to me when they focus on the stuff that actually he…
/r/PurplePillDebate05/09/22 04:27 PM
0

Said like someone who's never talked to a woman...
/r/PurplePillDebate05/09/22 02:43 PM
5

Female condoms are known to just not be very good. They're expensive, hard to use, not very effective, and badly rated in terms of sexual satisfaction. They're basically only a good idea for STD risk mitigation when a normal condom isn't an option. Getting hung up on women using female condoms is really weird, because there's plenty of birth control methods that women do use in large numbers. IUDs are increasingly popular and very effective with low side effects. The pill is obviously a classic,…
/r/PurplePillDebate05/09/22 05:27 AM
3

People talking to a woman's tits instead of her face. Also, strangers and acquaintances openly talking about the size of a woman's breasts in front of her.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/09/22 02:08 AM
0

So, I was thinking more the cold approach stuff off campus. More a matter of age and walking instead of driving than being in school. That's what I think I couldn't have avoided without a reduction or extreme weight gain. My experiences on campus were weird for reasons specific to my college and my particular dorm, but I ended up transferring colleges partly because of the sexual harassment.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/09/22 01:50 AM
2

I think a minority of us do like men more than 15 years older. Way fewer than men who would date much younger though. I personally have been attracted to men 20+ years older than me, but only high status, charismatic ones. And there's a lot of practical drawbacks, so I would require a lot more positives the larger the age gap.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/09/22 09:41 PM
1

I'd never catcall a man, but a pretty exotic car is definitely noteworthy in a good way. Particularly when they're uncommon in the area, they're just really fun to see. That said, the fancy car boost is multipled if the man is actually into cars. A pretty car is not nearly the same boost if the man doesn't know cars.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/09/22 09:16 PM
5

I'm not convinced that it's so easy to opt out. I've always been extremely studious and never partied or anything, didn't wear low cut tops... I still got a lot of unwanted attention including straight up harassment. At college age, I don't think anything short of a reduction or very extreme weight gain would have helped much.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/09/22 08:58 PM
0

The casual dating market exists, but it's a very skewed market because men dramatically outnumber women in it. Which will always make it full of weird dynamics. I suspect men pay way more attention to the casual dating scene than women do, because women are either disinterested in it (most of us) or participating. The spectators are male. The big problem I see is when men try to extrapolate their observations of the casual scene to dating or women more generally. There may be a lot of women in t…
/r/PurplePillDebate04/09/22 08:25 PM
1

I don't think it usually works out that well. No one takes you that seriously if you're a hot mess. Amber Heard's credibility certainly suffered from her conduct. Agreed. Stoicism is incredibly beneficial throughout life. Being able to keep it together under pressure is incredibly beneficial for success.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/09/22 06:31 PM
64

Men and women have different desires. Casual dick is worse than free. Literally: men will pay to get their dicks wet. While some women do like casual sex, most do not. Casual sex is not a good way for women to get orgasms, and what's the point of it then? Most women are looking for a LTR, and that's not so easy to find. Men are much pickier about who they actually propose to than who they sleep with, so the options aren't so generous, and women also need to vet for for LTRs. Most women find the …
/r/PurplePillDebate04/09/22 03:53 PM
-1

Do you think a woman who keeps crying when her boss says anything the least bit mean will have a successful career? Women also either learn stoicism or suffer the consequences. My family firmly believes that both crying and lashing out in anger are tawdry, so we were all raised to keep our cool. It does seem like men are more likely to lose it to anger and women to tears, but that's likely the result of different hormones. And both represent loss of emotional control, even if men like to pretend…
/r/PurplePillDebate04/09/22 03:17 PM
2

Eh? A 3 year gap is common, but not the limit or anything. I don't think it's crazy for a 29yo to date early 20s. Particularly cause you said you're in grad school: it's not like you're being weird, that's just who you're around.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/09/22 01:20 AM
1

Because attraction is an important part of a relationship... Would you date a very ugly woman if she was very kind and smart? Most of the guys on here wouldn't.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/09/22 01:10 AM
1

So that they have a chance with someone else, obviously!
/r/PurplePillDebate04/09/22 12:55 AM
1

Yeah, a key component for me of actually wanting sex is the emotional bond. Which definitely limits the seriousness of any crushes! I suspect most women don't like the big age gaps, but I don't think it's that rare. The truth is that planning your life with a much older man has a lot of downsides, so even if the man is attractive, the lifestyle might not be.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/09/22 10:23 PM
1

Wouldn't kegels fix that? Length isn't really controllable (though it does vary over a woman's cycle), but squeezing is very easy. And makes everything much more fun.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/09/22 09:21 PM
4

I don't blame you. It's tricky. Being out of control of your emotions isn't attractive. A lot of women want you to be vulnerable enough that she feels connected, but not so vulnerable that you're actually out of control. Although I do think there's an exception for understandable grief. Like, no one is going to judge you for crying when a family member dies. I was also raised to be very stoic actually: my family prizes it. I don't think it's a bad thing unless it's psychologically unhealthy, and…
/r/PurplePillDebate02/09/22 08:11 PM
1

I've always found Alan Rickman very attractive. Obviously his voice is a huge part of that. He's obviously dead now, but he was also with someone his own age. I've had plenty of crushes on men much older than me IRL, but I got married before I really dated much. My husband is 7 years older.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/09/22 08:04 PM
3

Depends what sort of feminists you're talking about. It's not really a single movement, and has fractured to the point that it's not just different approaches, but different goals. And what format you want to get the information in. Books, podcasts, articles, etc. Feminist subreddits showcase mostly AOC type feminism. You'll see a very different set of feminists somewhere like Mumsnet.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/09/22 05:45 PM
2

I sometimes find much older men attractive if they're charismatic enough. Including 20 years older. That's said, there's practical issues with a much older man, so he'd have to be really exceptional to be a good choice for a husband. My parents had me quite late, so 20 years older doesn't make me think of my dad.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/09/22 02:59 PM
13

The very act of a woman needing to help a man in this way is likely to make him automatically less attractive in her mind. This has been my experience. I've had friends who I've been happy to help with social cues, because they're wonderful guys and I want them to succeed. But it kills any attraction I may have for the guy, without question.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/09/22 02:35 PM
2

I'd feel unloved for sure. Being super jealous all the time is obviously toxic, but not caring at all? That's too self contained. I'd feel like I didn't matter.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/09/22 08:49 PM
2

Really good for your joints and bones. Seriously, weight training combined with stretches is magic for avoiding aches and pains.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/09/22 05:22 PM
1

Pain relief medication during labor is common but not foolproof. But also, the hormones are a trip! The memory of the pain fades really quick.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/09/22 05:04 PM
2

Right? Paying for meals is attractive. If guys want to ignore that advantage, it's up to them.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/09/22 05:06 AM
2

I wouldn't go that far. I've known some very happy couples where they're both autistic. And some where only one is but they both think it's worth it. There are a lot of unique challenges though, particularly with raising children.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/09/22 03:57 AM
2

Lol. I'm not sure it's coming from the same place. I've definitely had men argue with me about rejecting them. I feel like that was mostly the result of desperation though. My male friends who've shown themselves to be the most true are often bossy, tbh. They're coming from a perspective of caring though. The less bossy male friends have also been less invested overall. Well, probably lower agreeableness is a factor. I think men often have an easier time telling a friend not to be a moron than w…
/r/PurplePillDebate31/08/22 08:45 PM
2

I've never tried it, but it sounds better than OLD. A short time talking is way more useful than photos for gauging attraction. It's also got to be a great place to practice people skills.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/08/22 08:18 PM
3

Yeah, those factors were the red flags for me as well. Also, the general approach reminded me a ton of my first BF, who is super, super smart and accomplished and very nice, but also autistic and drove me insane.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/08/22 12:03 PM
6

As a woman, I think this is an excellent explanation of how women are pickier about photos precisely because they're not that exciting to us. This is also why I think a lot of guys are much better off focusing on IRL dating than OLD. There's plenty of guys who are attractive IRL but totally disinteresting from a still photo.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/08/22 11:55 AM
2

Nope. I'm just short and like muscles. I scaled it shorter, because 6'5" is too tall.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/08/22 03:51 AM
5

5'11" and it's not close. I'd answer the same for 5'7" vs 6'2" with the shorter guy being the muscular one.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/08/22 03:13 AM
3

0/10 Both awkward and self-important. I'd probably want to shoot myself 10 minutes into a date.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/08/22 03:02 AM
2

Lol. You think that's not the case for women as well? Actual weakness is never "cute". That's when anyone short of a true friend abandons you.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/08/22 12:04 AM
1

No.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/08/22 11:54 PM
2

But you might meet someone who can introduce you to other friends.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/08/22 11:06 PM
2

Disagree. It depends on the variety of social ineptitude. Some guys will elicit pity rather than fear.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/08/22 09:32 PM
10

Very. It's attractive in it's own right, so it's an immediate leg up there. It's also very important for anyone who wants children. The reality of pregnancy and childbirth is that a mother's well-being is very unpredictable. Being able to work during or after pregnancy is not guaranteed. And of course, for many women, sending the kid to daycare and then going back to work sounds like a fine idea... Until they have the baby (some women do fine with this, but plenty of women who expect to be fine …
/r/PurplePillDebate30/08/22 09:09 PM
2

8-10?! I'd sit down and talk to her about it. Don't accuse her of anything, obviously, but ask about her needs. Is she very anxious or something? Or does she want to hear "I love you" a lot? 8 phone calls before dinner is too many for each one to really be worth anything.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/08/22 07:20 PM
3

I think everyone hates hearing "we need to talk". My dad will text me "we need to talk" and then he just wants to tell me about his upcoming vacation. Meanwhile, I've been worried "did I screw something up, is someone sick?" etc. It's just bad, ominous communication.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/08/22 07:11 PM
1

If they're not proposing a topic, just ramble a bit about whatever is on your mind until they start talking. That's what I do anyway.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/08/22 07:04 PM
1

You absolutely can. I'm not going to say it comes equally easily to everyone. It does not. But there's an awful lot of charisma and body language that can be learned (and general competence in a field of your choice is clearly just a matter of practice). Dance and movement classes can do wonders for presence and body language and posture. Posture matters, and it's not a crazy thing to fix. Public speaking hobbies will teach you to command a room. RP has advice for cultivating a sexual sort of ch…
/r/PurplePillDebate30/08/22 06:52 PM
0

So, the guys I'm thinking of in particular are very short. Like 5'6" and under, not wide shouldered, sometimes fat, bald, etc. I've seen one of my Asian friends who's probably like 5'2" get propositioned for a hookup. Nothing special physically, but he's well dressed, and something about how he moves is just magnetic. Like, look, I'm not saying a guy who's super charismatic but only 5'4" has the same options as a similar guy at 6'0". But the guys I know like this do have decent options (better t…
/r/PurplePillDebate30/08/22 03:47 PM
-1

No, I've known ugly charismatic men who are super attractive. And have plenty of opportunity as a result. We all know that "being kind" isn't really attractive for all that it's important. But that doesn't mean other areas of personality are irrelevant. Presence, competence and charisma are extremely attractive in a man, even when he's not hot in a physical sense.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/08/22 12:07 PM
1

Yeah, or a super small, casual ceremony. Much saner. Had a big wedding for family reasons and it was just annoying. I hate party planning.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/08/22 12:02 PM
3

No idea, but I have a really strong preference against blondes. Like, it's worse than being short for me. It makes zero sense.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/08/22 02:53 AM
3

Offer a specific time, and be flexible about changing it later. Having a plan always makes something more likely to happen, but life sometimes gets in the way.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/08/22 04:49 AM
1

You need to pick up some hobbies. That will help you meet people for both friendship and dating.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/08/22 01:52 AM
1

Right, but then you're talking a quota system, which we have only in a few areas right now (academia and certain government contract stuff), and it's always a shit show. Implementing that everywhere? I don't even see how it would be implementable within a democracy, but I wouldn't like to see the fallout.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/08/22 07:48 PM
1

Just hire more cleaning help. If she's a high earner but a shit housekeeper, this is the best solution. If she's also got some excessive shopping trouble, therapy can help, or self help books on decluttering. Maybe a decluttering professional. It's impossible to keep a clean house if you buy too much junk.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/08/22 07:43 PM
1

It's very, very easy to say "oh, she just wasn't a good fit for the job". A hard quota system would work, but obviously that has a lot of costs, because it prevents efficient hiring and breeds resentment. It's one of those proposed policies that just creates problem-whack-a-mole.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/08/22 07:32 PM
6

If a woman has endometriosis, she may genuinely have a very hard time functioning, and she's pretty screwed. But most women can function well enough during a period. I don't see who the hell would hire me if I demanded that much leave. Stupid idea.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/08/22 04:30 PM
3

They controlled for patient characteristics and severity.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/08/22 01:36 PM
7

There's a study that suggests female doctors have slightly better results than male doctors. Measured in terms of patient mortality rates. It's just one study, so I wouldn't say it's definitive, but it's plausible. I suspect that agreeableness is a useful trait when you're trying to communicate with a patient effectively.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/08/22 08:12 AM
1

I saw a lot of clothing that doesn't really cover anything at the zoo recently... Not sure what the goal was there. Sunburn?
/r/PurplePillDebate28/08/22 02:24 AM
2

Or she's mega-oblivious.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/08/22 12:57 AM
1

Yeah... It's tricky. I've gotten advice a few times from men in this, but only my dad, my husband, and one of my best friends. And they were always very, very delicate with their advice. And of course it was always stuff that I wished I'd already known.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/08/22 11:58 PM
1

I'm also not arguing right or wrong. I'm just saying that unless you're actually quite explicit about what you mean, women won't understand dressing modestly to include stuff like "no jeans". There's a communication problem.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/08/22 11:46 PM
1

Here's my source for increase in demand and trafficking: https://orgs.law.harvard.edu/lids/2014/06/12/does-legalized-prostitution-increase-human-trafficking/ The trafficking effect is stronger in wealthy countries, and I'm sure a place like Germany takes law enforcement seriously. It's still not enough to offset the economic incentives. And again, even where enforcement is taken seriously, prostitution remains very dangerous. I don't see what your solution is supposed to accomplish. Camgirls are…
/r/PurplePillDebate26/08/22 11:43 PM
1

Lol. I'm not arguing with what men find attractive. But jeans and a t are basic enough that I don't think women view them particularly attention getting.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/08/22 10:50 PM
1

It requires dressing so modestly it's abnormal, and even then it's not 100% at preventing cold approach. Like, jeans plus a crew neck t shirt doesn't cut it.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/08/22 09:47 PM
5

We get married young and stay married. Also, social groups definitely aren't random. Particularly in LA, you might have to look harder for more commitment oriented people, but you'll tend to find them in clumps. A lot of my friends are either 1st or 2nd gen immigrants or religious.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/08/22 08:34 PM
2

I was thinking more of the humble requirement. Just, the time and money involved in being fashionable is significant. Then add in the time to pursue intellectual interests and social skills. To spend that much time and money on herself kind of requires her to think quite highly of herself. Not inherently to the point of narcissism, but probably past what anyone would call girl-next-door or humble. Take out fashionable, and this actually gets a lot easier.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/08/22 07:26 PM
2

It's the fashionable that really kills it, tbh.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/08/22 07:18 PM
1

No, that's weird. Who are you even talking to?
/r/PurplePillDebate26/08/22 07:16 PM
3

Almost none. You're asking for a woman who puts a ton of effort into her own appearance and development and then asking her to pretend she's nothing special. Please.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/08/22 07:14 PM
1

And how do you enforce those rules? How do you figure out what's legal, what's not, who's being coerced, etc? That's not actually trivial. What we see in the real world is that countries that have legalized prostitution see an increase in trafficking. This isn't theoretical. Prostitution is totally different from weed. Legal weed growers see the demand for weed increase, so they grow more weed. No problem. Supply can keep pace with demand and keep the price of weed low enough that there's no rea…
/r/PurplePillDebate26/08/22 06:44 PM
1

He says later that she suggested letting the ex stay at her place while she stayed with BF, which doesn't sound crazy to me.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/08/22 06:25 PM
1

Lol. My dad's advice was more "how to avoid male attention". Which was helpful.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/08/22 06:23 PM
3

Human trafficking increases when prostitution is legalized. It's a consistent trend. Demand increases dramatically with prostitution, and supply doesn't keep up, because very few women want to be prostitutes. In theory, that should just cause the price to soar, but the consistent reality is that you just see really coercive brothels. And it remains a dangerous job even when legalized. The Nordic model legalizes selling sex but not buying it, which avoids the demand increases while making it easi…
/r/PurplePillDebate26/08/22 06:18 PM
9

General conduct is a big one. How does he treat his female relatives, is he kind, considerate, and reliable? Do we have shared values and goals? Which, given that I wanted to wait to have sex, wasn't a trivial barrier. And I wanted to start having kids by 25. I will note that I'm talking about consciously screening for this stuff. I've never really had much trouble finding men attractive if they're good at banter, so while I wouldn't consider sexual attraction unimportant, it's not a very useful…
/r/PurplePillDebate26/08/22 05:14 PM
24

About certain things. I take vetting seriously. That makes cold approach unappealing. I also don't do casual.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/08/22 03:46 PM
24

Nope, never accepted a cold approach. I'm not sure how many times I've been approached because I never kept count and most of them weren't very memorable.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/08/22 03:28 PM
1

Right? Married people have more sex anyway. Just thinking about the scheduling involved in having a lot of casual sex sounds miserable. I have easy access to my husband.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/08/22 03:17 PM
1

Thanks, I'm glad it resonated with you. I'm not sure where I'd go with a post on it, tbh. "In praise of sexual restraint?" It's not a new message, just out of fashion.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/08/22 02:53 AM
3

I don't know what it says about me, but I would genuinely rather argue with a man who thinks women aren't fit for leadership positions than be smothered with all that hugboxing. It's just claustrophobic and exhausting.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/08/22 02:24 AM
3

If I got dementia, I wouldn't blame my husband if he moved on emotionally before I was physically dead, because it's not like a normal relationship is possible at that point.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/08/22 12:18 AM
3

It's fine. Just be prepared for your sibling to mock you about it.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/08/22 10:34 PM
4

Or they don't acknowledge the realities of motherhood. My family is always on my back about going full force on my career. And while I'm not suited to being a SAHM permanently, I want to spend time with my kids. Every time I went to work during my baby's first year, I felt like my heart got ripped out.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/08/22 08:26 PM
1

My condolences. I know a woman in a similar situation. Her husband's family was wealthy but he was unstable and she eventually couldn't cope. His family spent an insane amount of money making sure to screw her over as much as possible.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/08/22 08:13 PM
15

It's not unattractive. It's just not very sexually relevant. That doesn't make it any less important or virtuous though.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/08/22 05:22 PM
3

I'm sympathetic really, though I suspect they wouldn't like my solution. I don't think it's uncommon for women to feel gross after sex that feels not right somehow, particularly casual sex. Even when it's just hands involved. And well, when your only framework to understand sex is consent... I'd recommend sticking to having sex within a committed relationship. Even if she feels gross afterwards, she might lash out but she's not likely to make an accusation against a guy she knows doesn't intend …
/r/PurplePillDebate25/08/22 04:59 PM
26

Attraction is what it is. It's not a concious decision. I think a lot of the trouble is telling people to obey their attraction instead of controlling it. I've been attracted to plenty of men. I'm married to one. Most of the attraction I've felt is irrelevant to my life, though the patterns I see in who's appealed are kind of interesting. I'm a big believer in vetting before emotional attachment, because once you're attached (commonly happens after sex), you're blind. Because we all know intelle…
/r/PurplePillDebate25/08/22 03:29 PM
1

Oh, sorry for being unclear. I figured this was related to the DiCaprio one. I'm just wondering if being creeped on by adult men as a teen increases skepticism of men pursuing barely legal women. I'd suspect yes. I remember when I was 19 I got propositioned by a man in his late 20s/early 30s who asked me which high school I went to. The guy was pretty good looking and clearly well off, but the high school comment got him filed firmly into the creeper category.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/08/22 02:18 PM
2

I wonder if this is related to another discussion in this daily chat, about how women get hit on a ton as preteens and teens, often more than in early 20s. This might contribute to a wariness of men seeking youthfulness. I'm not opposed on principle, but I'd always be a bit more cautious if the woman is young.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/08/22 02:03 PM
1

Only if you're limiting yourself to OLD.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/08/22 06:06 AM
4

I got hit on most between 12-18. I don't have a good sense for which age brought the most attention because I didn't get out much. So attention was mostly just a matter of "out in public without a parent".
/r/PurplePillDebate25/08/22 04:58 AM
3

Strength training is like magic! My body feels so much better and I have more energy when I keep it up. Definitely important for everyone.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/08/22 02:53 AM
6

Right, like no shit? Why would I risk my safety for some guy's boner? That's just stupid.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/08/22 01:50 AM
1

W. Banter. Good banter is what gets me interested.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/08/22 12:59 AM
3

I don't care. But if you're going to wear the same thing all the time, it's extra important to make sure it suits you.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/08/22 12:53 AM
2

Being emotionally intelligent is not the same thing as being vulnerable. Men thinking women are the answer to loneliness is part of the issue, I think. Men don't socialize enough with other men. Organizations like the freemasons are not getting younger members. Relying on your spouse for all of your social needs isn't healthy.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/08/22 12:14 AM
1

The income for programmers and engineers is helpful, but a lot of them don't spend a lot of time in social situations where they can meet women.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/08/22 12:07 AM
3

Yup. I used to be painfully shy, and then kept signing up do to things that forced me out of my comfort zone. I'm still fairly introverted, but I have no fear of public speaking.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/08/22 06:24 PM
1

AFBB just doesn't make any sense to me or ring true. It's just weird. Of course they support SAHM. A woman who's moving all the time for husband's career and is then in a country where she doesn't know the language or the culture is going to struggle to find a job, and if you introduce babies into the mix, a job just really doesn't make sense. That said, I haven't known any SAHMs who haven't ultimately wanted to go back to work at least part time once the kids were in school. Even the wealthy on…
/r/PurplePillDebate24/08/22 03:17 PM
2

Most of the time it's not terrible, but instead of ending the conversation on a polite note like, "oh, sorry, have a nice day", it's more abrupt. Like, he might just look annoyed and walk away. The worst is definitely when they've decided to argue with me about it. Like "look at my Maserati! Isn't my car awesome? You should want to come with me in my awesome car!" after I've already said no. Or "am I not taller than your boyfriend?" after the boyfriend excuse.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/08/22 02:04 PM
3

That's not the same as saying it's a common phenomenon. I really think this is men projecting their own desires onto women. They think, "what would I do if I were a hot chick", and look for examples that fit and think it's common because it's easy for men to identify with.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/08/22 03:21 AM
–

There's clearly obvious physical differences (strength, pregnancy). When power is based on strength, the results are obvious. Of course, even in systems that are less directly strength=power, women usually lacked rights (like not having the vote). I don't think "the patriarchy" is a particularly good term though, because it's really not very clear for people who aren't interested in reading feminist works.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/08/22 11:10 PM
2

I absolutely recognize what you're talking about with sexualized discussions, but I don't think I've ever seen it discussed before. I've heard way too much discussion about my own body and about really weird porn. Ah, knowing this stuff would have saved me so much heartbreak. I felt very betrayed by my friends, but in retrospect, it was all quite predictable.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/08/22 04:03 PM
2

A red flag? Yeah. If I inquire further and he talks about paid parental leave or whatever, that's fine. But it seems to usually be a shorthand for supporting porn, prostitution, polyamory, etc.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/08/22 03:23 PM
1

Depends on the setting! Though I'm sure other people can give better advice about showing off money. I'm female and hate spending unnecessary money.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/08/22 01:19 PM
1

Wealth indicates power unless you act mega insecure.it translates extremely well. By spending it, at least when you're talking about casual sex. The nice car, nice clothing, pictures of you on nice vacations, etc.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/08/22 12:24 PM
1

Yeah. I think it's a common issue though. I mean, the scale of my weird dorm issues was bigger and I doubt it's still like that post #metoo, but women getting pressured into sex they don't want definitely remains. And clearly this isn't desirable according to sex pos feminism, but I think they enable it by focusing so much on the joys of libertinism and so little on the other side of the coin. It's much more difficult to have strong boundaries if you don't understand the purpose. A vague sense o…
/r/PurplePillDebate23/08/22 04:30 AM
1

Power is attractive, and money translates to power. Billionaire romances wouldn't be so popular if it was just about the material benefits. The idea of the guy being powerful is just sexually appealing. There's evo-psych theories about this of course: a powerful man will have more resources and if he shares them that means a healthier pregnancy and offspring. But for a hookup, you're only going as far as "resource rich means he's a good choice for sex".
/r/PurplePillDebate23/08/22 03:29 AM
1

What's your goal? If you just want to hookup, just show off a bit. Men are so paranoid about gold diggers but they underestimate the attraction of wealth and power. She doesn't have to personally benefit from the money for it to increase your appeal. If you want a LTR, being a bad boy will just attract crazy, so don't bother.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/08/22 03:01 AM
2

Same. But I'm also a STEM nerd, so...
/r/PurplePillDebate23/08/22 02:38 AM
2

The worst culprits were self-declared male feminists, but the female feminists kind of went along with it. They didn't hold me responsible for male behavior: that would have been slut shaming. They just told me that I shouldn't have been upset. Why was I making a fuss, this wasn't a big deal. I agree about it not being feminist, but that is how they did identify and still do. It was a weird situation. I have a hard time picturing it happening post #metoo (it was a few years before), but it was v…
/r/PurplePillDebate23/08/22 12:35 AM
4

I'm in my 30s and in total agreement. Still pictures of men are, at best, pleasant to look at. Not actually arousing. Only the very, very hottest ones are the least bit interesting from a photo. And of course online dating is very based on still photos, and that's where a lot of data is from. But actually interacting with a man? There's certain things my husband can do and say that make me want to drag him off the bedroom.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/08/22 11:25 PM
4

None of this is particularly weird for old school 2nd wave radical feminists. They won't agree with you on the solutions, but they share a lot of criticisms of porn, sex work, hookup culture, etc.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/08/22 09:02 PM
4

For myself I choose to divide fault and responsibility. On a personal level a lot of things are outside of our control and aren't our fault. But it is our responsibility to deal with whatever we have at hands Agreed. This is such a key belief if you want to have a good life.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/08/22 06:40 PM
5

Yes. I suspect that was some of the trouble, but not all of it. Some of it was culture: there was a big focus on being open and not ashamed about sexuality. I've been in other male dominated spaces where the culture was different and not had any trouble.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/08/22 06:33 PM
3

My college dorm collectively had boundary issues? I was apparently shaming the guys.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/08/22 05:29 PM
39

I'm familiar with Louise Perry and largely agree with her. It's not that there haven't been good results from the sexual revolution, but there have been an awful lot of bad ones. And there's a lot of weird pressures that go unacknowledged. I've never been slut shamed, but I've been prude shamed for objecting to groping. And for not wanting to have sex early in a relationship. One of the really weird things I found after dealing with continued sexual harassment from an acquaintance, was that it w…
/r/PurplePillDebate22/08/22 04:20 PM
1

It is for sure. The first year is the most crucial though, so not being able swing 2.5 is not catastrophic. Tbh, I think our society just doesn't handle baby timing well at all.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/08/22 03:49 PM
1

Babies are best with consistent caregivers until 2.5. They bond with their caregivers and need the emotional connection. But they'll do okay with mom, dad, grandma, a true family friend, etc. After 2.5, time with peers gets more important. My baby was mostly with a family friend, which has been fine. It does mean she's now basically family though. Breastfeeding really does rely on the mommy baby bond though. Doctors push it a lot because it's healthy for both mom and baby (an improvement to form…
/r/PurplePillDebate22/08/22 03:39 PM
0

Retirement age dating market has fewer men than women, so this is maybe not surprising. A single man of that age is probably not involuntarily single.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/08/22 02:38 PM
2

It's easier. When I returned to work after having a baby, the easiness of work was almost comedic. Being away from baby was heart wrenchingly depressing though. But the struggle was emotional.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/08/22 02:27 PM
2

It's rough. I've definitely felt that loss of attraction. That said, I don't think this is a simple phenomenon. When my husband was crying after his mom died? I didn't feel anything negative towards him. It obviously wasn't a time when we were thinking about sex, but there wasn't a decrease in attraction either. When he was having emotional issues that were absolutely about his own weaknesses? Definitely caught the ick. Not just with crying though. Stupid anger is also repulsive. It doesn't help…
/r/PurplePillDebate22/08/22 06:52 AM
2

It's probably that the tan isn't particularly even. Niacinamide and vitamin c can help. Retinol should as well, but you MUST use sunscreen every day then. There's other ingredients too: the skincare subreddit has a lot of information.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/08/22 01:42 AM
3

Nah, he's just autistic. A good guy though, and absolutely brilliantly smart.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/08/22 12:12 AM
2

That's an uphill battle... I do know a guy that short who was married, but he didn't exactly have dating options. Some of you all are way too hung up on being 6' tall, and I've known plenty of guys who've done okay at 5'4" (admittedly, offline). But 4'11"... And the poor guy lives in Denmark.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/08/22 11:30 PM
6

I once dated a guy who really didn't get social interactions. I ended up with a measuring tape and a discussion of appropriate conversational distance. He was willing to learn, but I definitely felt like his mom...
/r/PurplePillDebate21/08/22 09:17 PM
2

Ick. Actively super off-putting.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/08/22 05:17 PM
1

Yeah, I think AFBB is mostly projection. Guys think "what would I do if I were a woman" and don't understand that women have more restricted sociosexuality than men (on average, but the difference is a significant one). Sure, there exist women who fit the AFBB mold, but they're not the norm. Particularly in modern culture, with the modern economy, women with unrestricted sociosexuality don't have much incentive to settle down. They have other opportunities that fit their sexual desires better. A…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/08/22 04:54 PM
6

Because part of marriage is often making sacrifices for the other person, and traditionally women sacrificed their personal earning power to boost their husband's opportunities. Thinking of older divorcees I know, one of them worked part time while her husband worked full time when the kids were little, with the understanding that the kids needed someone to be available and that her career would never fully recover. But it shouldn't have mattered, because they were in it together. Then he left h…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/08/22 03:25 PM
7

Sure we do. Most women just don't want casual. Dick is worse than free.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/08/22 08:49 PM
1

I've had this happen before. It was disappointing to be sure, but it's life. I was at a good weight at the time, but I never have a slim look no matter my weight, so it's not surprising that I'm not everyone's type. I do think most women won't ask a guy or until they already have feelings though, where a lot of guys will approach based on looks alone without a connection, so it's not quite symmetrical. I've never been rude or cruel when turning down a guy though.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/08/22 03:33 AM
1

That's a good point. A museum is one of the few places I could see a cold approach actually working.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/08/22 09:28 PM
1

Married with kid. I don't think I could deal with separating my kid from his dad, so I'd stay, even knowing the risk of him doing it again was high. I'd get really neurotic about STDs though I suspect. I'd be very surprised if my husband cheated though. He's not really the type.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/08/22 08:53 PM
1

Women are much more aware of men who lack basic decency towards women than men are. Stands to reason, right? We're the ones having the interactions. I'd 100% rather be single than with a man like that anyway, and I think plenty of women feel that way. On Tinder of course you're doing the wooing. Casual sex is far more appealing to men than to women. Why should she have sex with you in particular?
/r/PurplePillDebate18/08/22 06:17 PM
1

This 100%. And the truth is, the basic adult stuff isn't sexy. Watching my husband wash the dishes isn't erotic. It will only get him laid if the barrier to having sex is that I'm overwhelmed with the house (sharing the burdens of life is good for a relationship more generally though). But a guy who's really helpless about these basic things is going to elicit disdain, and that'll kill his chances pretty quick.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/08/22 12:47 PM
1

It sounds like you'd know better than me. 1-3 makes sense unless a woman is self-delusional, but that's a whole nother set of issues. That's going to be an individual thing. Given that it could be seen as criticism of her, I think it could go badly. And insecurities aren't super attractive in general, ngl. Better to find a therapist if you want to talk it out with someone.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/08/22 04:14 AM
1

Oh, that's easy to find. Most women prefer sex in a meaningful relationship. There's still plenty with higher n counts from silly decisions that they didn't enjoy anyway though. You'll be fine. Just avoid hookup type ways to meet (you probably won't find your match on Tinder). Hobbies are good, particularly if they're ones that women participate in. Generally having a large group of friends gives you lots of opportunities to meet people.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/08/22 03:45 AM
1

Yes. I know others who are similar, though usually a little more relaxed about having sex in a LTR. But, by definition, a woman who is dying for sex and really opposed to sleeping around is probably going to get to get off the market quick, so good luck meeting her. I got engaged at 21. Furthermore, a woman who knows she's not putting out easily isn't on OLD, or at a bar, or amenable to a cold approach. Think more in terms of meeting through hobbies, friends, religious groups, and college. I thi…
/r/PurplePillDebate18/08/22 03:12 AM
1

No PIV before marriage, and no dating except for the purpose of finding a husband. If my husband wants to try it and I don't absolutely hate the idea, I'll give it a try. But I'm probably the more adventurous one anyway. This isn't out of moral concerns. I'm just curious with a high libido and extremely restricted sociosexuality.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/08/22 01:43 AM
1

Seriously, for a man who thinks this sounds even sort of amusing, give it a try. I've seen unconventional guys have silly levels of success even from less intense formal dances.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/08/22 12:55 AM
1

Online dating is artificial and attracts a non-random population. Extrapolating from OLD to general female sexuality is mistaken.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/08/22 12:47 AM
–

Have done. It's a bad match for breastfeeding and he couldn't cope. Going to work was honestly a break for me. That said, it depends on age. I don't see the point in anyone staying at home once the kids aren't so tiny unless one spouse has the sort of career that kind of demands it (lots of relocation or a high intensity career that demands a support person at home).
/r/PurplePillDebate17/08/22 04:36 AM
–

Get a meat thermometer.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/08/22 04:20 AM
1

I wouldn't consider the script you wrote rude, but I don't think you'll get many takers. It's just ineffective. Literally all I know about a guy who just approached me that way is that he's interested. I don't know if he's safe to be around or if we have literally anything in common. You need to sell yourself. Think: what do I have to offer, why would a woman want to date me in particular? Then play to your strengths.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/08/22 03:26 AM
1

Eh, life gets in the way sometimes, so every day isn't the most realistic. But libido isn't constant over time. I'm usually higher libido than my husband but it was honestly nonexistent when breastfeeding.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/08/22 03:03 AM
–

Women feel disgust more easily than men. I'm not scared of roaches or spiders, but I do find them icky and try to kill them.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/08/22 10:11 PM
1

I have yet to understand what men think a woman is supposed to do with a 9" cock. You'd need to find a hardcore masochist. Speaking as a woman who was curious and actually got out the tape measure.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/08/22 08:39 PM
1

Some men definitely do enjoy the chase. The men I've known like that are all cheaters though, so no thanks.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/08/22 07:52 PM
1

A fit guy is certainly putting his best assets on display there. But that applies more broadly. A man with good body language will fare well dancing. And intelligent man will benefit from situations where that intelligence has social benefit, etc...
/r/PurplePillDebate16/08/22 06:12 PM
1

Men's paranoia about it just seems absurd to me. Women usually have more restricted sociosexuality than men. The men on here often seem intensely jealous about how easy it is for a woman to sleep around without realizing that there's no desire to for many of us and considerably more physical risks involved. I don't judge attraction, not my business. I do judge delusions.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/08/22 05:55 AM
1

Oh, money and power are totally intertwined. My point is that, particularly if we're thinking of evo psych, money can only be attractive to the extent that it's a proxy for something more ancient. And it's pretty obviously a super strong proxy for power, but because we're not really talking about conscious calculations, it's a disruptable message.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/08/22 04:27 AM
1

Wallets aren't sexy. It's the power that comes with the wallet that's sexy. There's also something extra special about a self made man. I've known some wealthy older men who are very appealing. Okay, so they're fat and bald, but still, power and charisma made them compelling in their own right. Money is not enough all alone though. Money paired with insecurity makes the money not translate to sexually relevant power.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/08/22 02:50 AM
1

My tits. No matter my weight, they're extremely prominent. I don't emphasize them though, and didn't even before I got married. People always think they're fake and that fake tits on display means you're for public consumption. I really don't like getting groped.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/08/22 02:29 AM
1

Being rich and powerful is genuinely attractive, totally independent of the material benefits. Speaking as a woman here. I don't actually think it's that weird if you think about attraction in evo psych terms. A powerful father is a great advantage to give one's children. Also, a lot of wealthy men have other attractive traits like drive, determination, and confidence.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/08/22 02:17 AM
1

I think this might be eyes bigger than stomach syndrome though. A 7" cock sounds great until you actually try to have sex with it. I did this with a dildo once. Not my best purchase.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/08/22 03:42 PM
1

I think you watch too much porn buddy. Women have more diverse tastes than you probably realize, but there's still strong trends, yes. Penis size is valued for it's function, not it's visual appeal. Too big is painful and too small is not very useful, but most women really do prefer a pretty average size penis because that's what actually works well in sex. Men get insecure because for some reason porn features large penises so they have a bad metric for comparison, and women have no idea about …
/r/PurplePillDebate15/08/22 03:27 PM
1

Nah. I know quite a few short women who refuse to date tall guys. My sister is a solid 10/10 (watching her with guys was seriously funny), and she married a guy who's only like 5'5". She said it's easier on her her neck. He makes nice enough money, but she could have easily married a wealthier, more conventionally attractive man. She doesn't feel like she settled. I will say though: she didn't meet him through online dating or anything. She got to know him as a friend first.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/08/22 03:09 PM
1

Getting harder should imply change, and I don't know that men being horny and women having standards is change (well, it used to be her family's standards rather than hers, but I doubt family standards are really lower: I know mine would have demanded pretty insane professional accomplishments). I think what's been changing is more the mechanism of how people meet. Before, I think it was more common to meet through friends or family or community. If my friend says "hey, you should meet this guy"…
/r/PurplePillDebate15/08/22 01:54 PM
3

Eh, context matters. It's not always about "doing better". Particularly at the 18-20 age range when male attention was overabundant, I found the whole thing overwhelming and just turned down anyone I wasn't familiar with.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/08/22 01:01 PM
2

There's definite advantages to getting started on kids early. It's medically better and in some ways it's easier to start a career later than to pause it to have children. But it's possible to have kids pretty late too, so you don't need to freak out about it. I got married in my early 20s. I didn't have much trouble: I was very honest about what I wanted. I was only interested in a relationship that might lead to marriage, and I wasn't going to have intercourse until engaged. So my relationship…
/r/PurplePillDebate15/08/22 06:01 AM
1

This doesn't take into account having and raising children. A woman either needs to send her children to insanely expensive daycare (and probably cry about it tbh if this starts at the typical American timeline of 6 to 12 weeks postpartum) or drop out of the workplace for a while until the kids are old enough for school. Having a good provider makes a huge difference. And kids do better with a stable two parent household.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/08/22 05:14 AM
1

You're misunderstanding female attraction. It's a rare man who looks that appealing from a photo. Like, if I go through a list of "hottest celeb men", almost none of them look hot to me. They're not visually repulsive, but there's nothing inspiring about the visual. But I've not had any trouble finding plenty of IRL guys very attractive, including some who aren't so conventionally attractive. It's like if I showed a guy a bunch of pictures of women's hands. You could probably identify some as me…
/r/PurplePillDebate14/08/22 07:41 AM
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