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CaptainRianTomasso Archive

View 0 posts and 103 comments by CaptainRianTomasso on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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1

OYS Been years since I've been back here. Just had a De Facto relationship end a month ago. Mid 30s. 6'2, 210lbs. S 350 B 300 D 530. Weighted chins +45x8. OHP around 190lb. Currently cutting and down 10lbs. Kept a lot of the good habits I learned here. The last two or so months were a lesson in using the techniques. Mindset has changed completely. Relationship ended with a shitty comfort test and I didn't bite. "Do xyz, I am not accepting a relationship if you don't put my emotions first, you do…
/r/MarriedRedPill21/05/25 07:49 AM
1

I said you didn't understand because you don't. You misread, not my problem. "Stop being a pussy and focus more on being sexually attractive =/= only do Alpha." Is not a directive but a summary of what has been proposed and OPs error of thought. I do not care what OP does with his life, nor did I give advice. His theory is to focus, using Rollo's nomenclature, on being more arousing and less attractive. The whole point is that it's a fucking moronic statement by someone who doesn't know what the…
/r/MarriedRedPill19/10/23 11:02 AM
1

Will wait for your thanks little guy - you can PM me if it hurts the LARP too much.
/r/MarriedRedPill11/10/23 03:11 PM
1

Maybe it's because I train legs :)
/r/MarriedRedPill11/10/23 03:01 PM
1

I guess stewing on a comment for a day, reading my entire post history for a few hours to try to point out hypocrisy and trying to think of a catty retort means you are an "Alpha". All good bro, your frame is solid :)
/r/MarriedRedPill10/10/23 02:27 AM
1

His questions were answered. He didn't understand. It's not something that can be explained to a mid 40s 5'8 guy that thinks he's a playboy now that he's slept with 5 women post divorce. I also guess that's a no to re-reading the section you didn't understand :)
/r/MarriedRedPill08/10/23 03:41 PM
1

Did that comment about middle aged LARPers hit home? :)
/r/MarriedRedPill08/10/23 03:20 PM
0

You didnt understand what I wrote. Re-read it and ask me if you have any questions.
/r/MarriedRedPill08/10/23 02:51 PM
1

All these middle aged 5'8 guys LARPing about being the most alpha, alpha that ever alpha'd is laughable. Congrats, you clawed your way to a 6 or 7/10 and are dating 5s. You don't have the perspective needed to be able to comment on what you're trying to be authoritative on.
/r/MarriedRedPill08/10/23 12:07 PM
1

Watch out, Alpha Male on deck.
/r/MarriedRedPill08/10/23 11:10 AM
-1

;)
/r/MarriedRedPill08/10/23 09:37 AM
1

You do not understand what I am saying and are ego-invested in trying to prove your point. Keep reading, all the best.
/r/MarriedRedPill08/10/23 08:14 AM
2

What do you want? Do you want to have sexual relationship that is equivalent to visiting a prostitute and only that with a girl well below the SMV you could attain should you provide more investment/beta comfort? We are arguing different points. I have said your advice is good for most, but does not apply in all circumstances depending on the individual guy and what he wants. It is incorrect advice to say carte blanche "remove all beta and your life will be better" . I can tell you, for me, it i…
/r/MarriedRedPill08/10/23 06:17 AM
3

I can talk to this as a guy that had historically few "comfort" traits to my approach to dating outside of providing mind blowing sex (giving orgasms is a beta trait after all). It depends what you want. It depends what you look like. It depends on the age of the woman you are plating/dating. It depends a lot of things. For most guys, they need more alpha (sexual desire) traits. If you are a 5'9, balding, chubby, mid-40s guy with erectile dysfunction this makes sense. This is the wrong advice be…
/r/MarriedRedPill08/10/23 05:29 AM
1

OYS #19 - 30, 6'2, 205lbs, Pull ups + 45 for reps, Incline bench 2 plates for reps, Squat 3 plates for reps, dead 4 plates for reps. Been about 2months since last post here. I have been resting on my laurels and prior work for a while now. I have been thinking about what I want (through the advice of "what don't you want"). Gym has not been chasing numbers. I was feeling stale after about a year of constant progression. I have regressed a bit not chasing numbers and continually adding weight. I'…
/r/MarriedRedPill08/10/23 04:31 AM
0

Even with half the ROM of my "1" leg, you are still weaker. Focus on yourself chump, you clearly have a lot of work to do.
/r/MarriedRedPill06/08/23 12:49 AM
-2

Dude, you are retarded and hive minded if you don't say the same shit to other guy. Just because someone has a title of authority (see: Flair) doesn't mean they aren't retarded or that they know what they are doing and your appeal to authority indicates you should heed your own advice. "Pointing out hypocrisy is a beta male trait", yeah, and so is being incompetent with an ego that obstructs your viewing reality. 5'9, 200lb, weaker than me AND posting what to do. "you don't know what you are doi…
/r/MarriedRedPill06/08/23 12:42 AM
-1

Dude, read your own fucking article as well as google how to approach life with a low IQ, I'm sure the advice therein will be a better guide than anything you find here. I have a 405 Squat, 530 Deadlift, 285 Incline Bench and +120lb chin up 1RM @ 6'2, 200lbs. 100% Raw. No Belt. No Straps. No Program and a bit over year in the gym. Going through your post history you have a 395 Squat and 505 Deadlift (no mention of press or upper body strength) @ 5'9 and 200lbs. Another delusional short arse. It …
/r/MarriedRedPill05/08/23 11:12 PM
0

I didn't ask, nor do I care. Every strength chart shows me as advanced. I'll follow the guidance of the experts. But you do you, little guy.
/r/MarriedRedPill05/08/23 10:47 AM
0

I'm advanced strength levels, standard advice here doesn't really apply.
/r/MarriedRedPill05/08/23 02:29 AM
2

OYS #18 - Checking in. The past few weeks/months have been enjoying a lot of the improvements i've found here but at the expense of real work. My mind has been elsewhere and I have been scared to articulate my goals and what I actually want. I've added in some variations with training to address weak points and stop things being stale. Squats and Deads were hitting a wall that deloads and reattempts didn't get me through multiple times. Took a step back, worked out what was weak and am now takin…
/r/MarriedRedPill04/08/23 03:10 AM
1

I have not worked out my mission yet. Bad OYS that reads like a diary entry, not what I need to work on. Thanks.
/r/MarriedRedPill29/07/23 06:27 AM
1

I am dating multiple girls non-exclusively and am utilising the tools I have found here to manage all relationships. Nowhere in my post do I hint at wanting to become exclusive nor that the tools here do not apply to her or that she is any different to any other women. On the contrary. I do not know what validation sedation with girls means. If you could rephrase that term. I was never an addict. My life was a mess and was using alcohol as I was scared to act. From someone who was a habitual hea…
/r/MarriedRedPill29/07/23 05:13 AM
2

You are missing the point and seem to be trying to use MRP as a way to augment what you actually want to do. Your focus is on cardio but are doing lifting to tick the box here. You are not taking responsibility for your life outside of doing the tick box at work. You have come here but you only say your focus with your relationship is to talk about fitness less and spend more time together? Don't come here and ask someone to read what you have spewed on paper when you are not doing the work. You…
/r/MarriedRedPill28/07/23 02:27 AM
2

Having gotten through this, what worked for me was an immediate focus on lifting, diet and sleep. You are skinny as shit, change that. Get to 180lbs stat while focusing on progressing lifts and once you're there see how much you need to diet. Realise that you have an opportunity to create a new life as you envision it. You are lucky it has occurred early for you as opposed to being 40 or 50 with obligations and a short runway ahead of you. When you're not lifting or if you need to speak to someo…
/r/MarriedRedPill27/07/23 12:25 AM
3

Journal entry and tick box exercise. What do you currently see your main deficits to be? What are you doing to address them? You are small, weak (reading your previous OYS) and chubby. Physical pillar doesn't seem to be enough of a priority for you given your height deficit. How is your income? Do you have a social life? You say you got a girls number but you aren't interested in her because she's a 5.... what do you rate yourself as? 5'6, fat, weak, and small man complex.... doesnt sound like y…
/r/MarriedRedPill26/07/23 11:36 PM
1

Back tweak was down to all the work and lifting with moving houses and then not fully recovering from the unadapted movements, hips were tight and wanted to get in and out for a workout. Not a major strain but speaks to the mindset and oversights we all have (even though we know its coming). None that are personally close at the moment. Am on a catch up schedule every 3-6 months with multiple but the 'standard' life gets in the way. Catch ups have become me telling stories about having sex with …
/r/MarriedRedPill26/07/23 10:48 PM
1

OYS #17 - 6'2, 30, 200lbs - >5months sober. Incline bench 2 plates for reps, squat 3 plates for reps, deadlift 4 plates for reps. Had to move houses so that has taken my focus recently. I have taken a break from the RP content. Trying to digest and come up with my own realisations and conclusions. Have had a heavy career focus recently. My income has doubled in the last 3 or so months since i was whining about it and is nearing 6 figures again. This is enough for me to live comfortably and maybe…
/r/MarriedRedPill26/07/23 11:03 AM
3

What's wrong with cleaning your hands of a bad situation? SAME OUTCOME if he "does the right thing" or goes. Divorce. Restricted child visitation. Wife gets house and ongoing maintenance. At least now he can look himself in the mirror, have some self-respect and say he decided this rather than getting caught with his pants down (as would have happened). He has assessed his options and is taking control of his future. That's the name of the game here. No moralizing needed. From what he has said h…
/r/MarriedRedPill13/07/23 12:57 AM
2

The smartest dogs are the easiest to train. I have already put into practice some of the advice here in the past day and will try some of your recommendations tonight.
/r/MarriedRedPill14/06/23 07:06 AM
2

Great job staying sober. Thanks. Easier being sober than drinking at this point. Why do you think that was the case? What is the "everything else"? How will you avoid complacency? It is truly "fuck me or fuck you". I believe I have done the work to deserve that attitude when that is in place. Does the self-loathing abate when money is sorted out? I am angry at myself. The 5 plates reinforced that I rest on my laurels. At one point, I was trying to diagnose my wife as BPD too. The odds all five o…
/r/MarriedRedPill13/06/23 03:36 PM
6

When I initiate from this state of true raw desire I am much more direct and focused on getting my needs met. It allows me to immerse myself completely and go for what I want the way I’m feeling it. This has naturally bought about much more dominance. Obviously the results have been great. I’m at 100% conversion rate when I initiate this way. Important for me to read.
/r/MarriedRedPill13/06/23 02:56 PM
6

You are brand new here, read the recommended material in the correct order, lift (barbell), take care of you before you worry about others. You are DEERing and also validation seeking in "look, I am doing all of the right things guys! I get it! Give me a gold star". Also Dunning-Kruger in full effect. Realise it will be 6-months of work at minimum. Focus on STFU in the beginning, do not haphazardly jump into doing things you do not understand yet. Deeper understanding will come as time goes on. …
/r/MarriedRedPill13/06/23 01:45 PM
1

I think in the short term the first way you have suggested is appropriate for me. I need SOME evidence that I can achieve in my career. I've worked to the point of burn out numerous times in younger years for bosses/managers who took advantage of the carrot that never came or broader economic environment was out of my control. That is where the learned helplessness piece comes in. I have a very good situation if I can make it work, somehow I got smart to do the self-employed route, it hasn't pai…
/r/MarriedRedPill13/06/23 12:04 PM
12

OYS 16 – 6’2, 30, 200lb Realisations this past week: - I do a small amount of work, see positive results and then ease off the accelerator. I turn into a lazy, comfortable piece of shit if a conquering army isn’t at my gates. - A health scare in family (near death, thankfully medicine resolved it) allowed me to see that I do not have goals, meaning, true discipline…etc. - 5 sexual plates are too much for me to spin at one time. It was validation providing and fed into my narcissism. - The plate …
/r/MarriedRedPill13/06/23 08:45 AM
2

E = Emotion = Amplify her emotions before or during. I = Immersion = Get her out of her head How do you do that? I don't know if I am the guy to write a guide on that. I would simply say you don't want to make it TOO relaxed or comfortable prior to starting (also Dominance) and then make it completely relaxed during. Poking fun at something within first few minutes or accidently kneeing her in the face or her hip popping or queefing and you being smooth about it (or not smooth if the situation c…
/r/MarriedRedPill06/06/23 01:29 PM
2

OYS #15 - 6'2, 200lb, 30 Lifting going well. Less rep work, more heavy work. I have had a real STFU focus on everything in my life. Work, family and women. I have reverted to the behaviourism focus that Rollo often talks about. Behaviour is the only true indicator of motivation. I've somehow ended up with 5 plates im having sex with weekly and a couple more in the pipeline on the go at the moment. I am having a lot of sex. I am STFUing. I am being fun. I am being non-clingy. I am being busy. All…
/r/MarriedRedPill06/06/23 11:14 AM
4

5/3/1 is an intermediate program, you are not intermediate and I doubt your squat is to depth given your squat/deadlift ratio. Fix your form. Start a new training block with lighter weights and rebuild. Fix your finances. 3 young kids and only just keeping your head above water is a nightmare situation, especially given the global economic environment. Speak to recruiters, get a better job or a part-time job (or your own gig that pays money) instead of spending time on hobbies. Create a budget a…
/r/MarriedRedPill30/05/23 01:16 PM
5

You post the same shit every week within an hour of the new weekly OYS opening up. Bet that gets you a lot of validation hey. Every post is always excuses for why something didn't happen that wasn't your fault. Maybe take a bit of time to actually sit down and try to internalise the material. If what you are currently doing isn't working, try something else.
/r/MarriedRedPill30/05/23 01:04 PM
3

OYS #14 - 6'2, 30, 200lb. Focusing on lifting heavier at the moment. Consistently improving and enjoying the focus needed to hit a weight or rep number you have doubts about prior to attempting, especially when everyone is watching you move the weight. I look good. I am "big", lean and strong. At the gym a couple of early 20s girls were watching me deadlifting, then followed me around the gym on machines after trying to get attention. I ignored but probably should have approached. Lesson for nex…
/r/MarriedRedPill24/05/23 09:25 AM
2

I have just completed the first budget I have ever done and also included expense forecasting, I know how much I am going backwards annually. I know how much I need to increase gross income based on todays figures for this coming financial year to halt the decline (expenses will increase). I can't tell you how stupid it was to put head in sand on that and how it feels to KNOW what I need to do and reinforces the not drinking - my monthly net expenses dropped $1.5k/month just by not going out to …
/r/MarriedRedPill18/05/23 12:04 PM
1

More than 1 business partner. I am thinking more and more about Rich Coopers line "My best advice in business is 1. don't work with retards, and 2. don't work with people who work with retards". I do not contact the guy who wronged me. I can see through work here that he is a clinical narcissist and there's no changing that so I enforced a boundary, accepted that I would never be "made whole", left and am ok with that (this refers to the attracted broken people in more way than one). I'm not bla…
/r/MarriedRedPill17/05/23 04:17 PM
2

Work involves recurring revenue and upfront fees. Recurring revenue has been built to a point that just covers my costs but I have been scared to spend money to get clients that will pay upfront fees that covers not living like a pauper. Very scarcity mindset and didn't act for years just treading water hoping recurring would be built further to give me breathing room (my mindset was just making excuses to not act). Death by financial attrition. I have taken action on that this past week. I am i…
/r/MarriedRedPill17/05/23 06:35 AM
1

My long term goals are a business that I can pull top+ percentile earnings from and figure it out then. I also do want kids in the next 10 years. The batman origin story (because you enquired) - was earning $150k salary mid 20s, business partner suggested I go all in on self-employment and lied that a deal was about to close that would replace that income and further steals/hides money and wastes my time over promising and not delivering on agreed terms (at least in my head - COVERT CONTRACT). I…
/r/MarriedRedPill17/05/23 06:14 AM
1

I need to set clear goals. I have never clearly defined anything and always just assumed things will work out because they always have. Wish in one hand, shit in the other, right.. $10k/month in income would get me to my short term lifestyle goals and being able to live a bit again. That is 1 client a month on top of my existing income. I don't know how much 1 client a month costs but I can work backwards once I get data through. It is basic, just admitting that makes it clearer. I CAN do cold a…
/r/MarriedRedPill16/05/23 05:22 PM
1

OYS #13 - Not a huge update - 3 months no alcohol. 6'2, 30, 195lbs - Slowly cutting/recomping. Trying to maintain strength whilst doing so. Love handles that I've never lost are finally starting to go. Not sure on bf%, decent abs, obliques/lines around ab/obliques tie in, still a small layer of lower stomach fat. Continuing to educate myself. I am listening to Rian's sidebar again and every time I listen there are new "aha" moments. I was thinking back to one of my earlier OYS posts where I said…
/r/MarriedRedPill16/05/23 01:30 PM
2

Another clear point that I have picked up is you have a need for your wife to see your INTRINSIC value. MALES DO NOT HAVE INTRINSIC VALUE. You are viewing life as a defective female. Perform. That is your value. You haven't been doing much of that. Why are you mentioning that your wife inherited assets? Are you planning to divorce her, take her money and then live the life you want? Is that what you want? The point always comes back to you feel she isn't valuing your contribution. She should res…
/r/MarriedRedPill10/05/23 02:36 PM
6

Haven't commented on your posts for a while but you are very clearly focusing on minutiae rather than getting results. You get told you need to do x. Males are deductive problem solvers so more of x must be better right? No. Stop being borderline rambo. You've told me that you can't get a squat rack yet you can afford to party and get high? You are productively procrastinating. This is worse than doing nothing at all because you have told yourself you will get results, however you aren't doing w…
/r/MarriedRedPill10/05/23 11:23 AM
2

Probably the validation seeking and needy. I've never thought about it but it came about during lockdowns and the last relationship break up. Habit of calling someone when it felt like solitary confinement. Re what he adds, he added experience that I needed at time of business establishment. His experience made getting off the ground easy (not in terms of his input, solely his resume if that makes sense but don't want to disclose too much). Again, I haven't thought about it in that much depth, b…
/r/MarriedRedPill10/05/23 03:16 AM
2

Yes i knew the text part wasn't part of an "OYS" when I was writing it. In revisiting the content I've seen before, first it was from the perspective of outrage at women's behaviour, then it went to tips and tricks to get laid and now it has become introspective as you mentioned and how to fix myself. I completely glazed over even attributing co-dependence to myself until a week or two back. I seem to be co-dependent upon most in my life. I have been nuking validation seeking behaviour for a whi…
/r/MarriedRedPill09/05/23 03:34 PM
1

OYS #12 30, 6'2, 196lbs. Slowly cutting/maintaining. Workout this week - Incline 2 plates for reps, squat 3 plates for reps, deadlift 4 plates for reps. Ok diet. Consistent weight sessions. Relationships/Sex - Had a multi-hour session with a 22yo from online dating. Great sex, she was overly complimentary, demanded a future date then and there and is a potential stage 5 clinger. I can see improvement in my behaviour. Havent gone full Sex God Method but did implement aspects of it that I was comf…
/r/MarriedRedPill09/05/23 10:16 AM
0

Have outlined my lifts in previous posts and I am advanced in all areas, your advice is ok for your average person here but doesn't apply to me in my opinion. Lifts in past week: Incline bench 220x8, squat 315x8, dead 385x10, pull up +65x6 Your lifts and appearance might be sufficient for your goals, they aren't for mine. I have been a >1% physique, that is my standard. I let that slip massively for years and I have worked to get back there. I currently look good. I want to look better by my sta…
/r/MarriedRedPill27/04/23 03:25 PM
1

It means that I was looking good on my calorie deficit in part due to glycogen depletion which caused me to overestimate my actual leanness (less subcutaneous water). When that glycogen was added back in the additional water looked like I gained bodyfat (as opposed to mostly muscle fullness) which is additional confirmation that I was not as lean as I thought. I thought I was ~13%. I was probably closer to 15%. I got lazy and thought "that's good enough heading into winter". I am not starting an…
/r/MarriedRedPill27/04/23 07:20 AM
3

This post is less ego than usual. I have seen some improvement reading from afar.
/r/MarriedRedPill25/04/23 12:06 PM
0

OYS #11 I've not had a drink in 2.5months. I tried a caloric surplus for a few days but the water gain told me I'm not as lean as I thought, back to cutting. I have continued to drag my heels in terms of work. I wrote out every immediate step I need to take but continue to not take action on them. I think I am afraid of failing. After the productivity kick of the past month I went back into bad behaviour of watching youtube or other "productive" shit that I don't need to do. Continued to read th…
/r/MarriedRedPill25/04/23 11:59 AM
1

Would look into Renaissance Periodization cutting videos if you havent already. Maybe consider doing a PSMF for a week or two and then backing off to let your body recoup and do a good maintenance phase e.g. 2 week PSMF drop 3-4lb of fat then try to maintain that for 6-12 weeks then try again. It will be a very slow process if you don't want to lose progress speaking from experience. Team 3DMJ (natural bodybuilding) often have guys do a 36 week cut from your level of leanness to get stage ready …
/r/MarriedRedPill14/04/23 04:18 AM
-1

Yes have upped my food calories, I generally don't eat when drinking but I do drink very heavily when I do so it about evens out with the standard person combined with walking 12,500 steps a day on top of weights. I might re-think the fat girl jizz approach. My current thoughts are similar to sales where if you have nothing going on you close anything you can that walks through the door and then when you are too busy to manage your current pipeline you then pick and choose and hopefully your ski…
/r/MarriedRedPill12/04/23 02:29 PM
-1

OYS #10 Deleted last week because it was standard tick box exercise. Got angry at myself after reading and nuked it. 29, 6'2, 200lb. Lifts in past week: Incline bench 200x8, squat, 315x5, dead 365x10, pull up +55x6 Improvements: No alcohol for 2 months this week. Haven't jerked off for 9 days, sex/life drive is immense. Have gone cold turkey on nicotine this week, cravings aren't that bad. Consistent discipline with work and actually getting something done. Neutral: Have stopped doing so much LI…
/r/MarriedRedPill12/04/23 11:21 AM
1

OYS #10 - 29, 6'2, 201lbs. Physical - Slow gains on Linear Periodisation, might switch to an intermediate program. 225x12 Bench. 315x5 Squat, 460 Dead. Keeping up 10k steps a day avg. No weight gain on 3k cals/day and need to add junk in as I am eating a lot of clean food. Haven't had a drink in 50 days. Sex - Will be implementing no porn/no masturbation. Consistently jerk off 2x a day most days but am confident I can start giving it a miss with the success from no alcohol. Another girl from pas…
/r/MarriedRedPill04/04/23 12:00 PM
1

As you'd know there is nothing to gain and much to lose from trying to RP your friends. Your intentions will not be received as you had hoped and also circles back to validation seeking/covert contracts on your end. If on the other hand a friend approaches you after you have been demonstrating change that is a different scenario, but also a situation to tread lightly and not think "yes! finally i will have someone to talk to about this stuff!". There is every chance your friend interpreted your …
/r/MarriedRedPill04/04/23 12:22 AM
2

Reading it now I was DEERing and seeking validation when I wrote up the OYS. If I don't give a fuck about it, nobody else does. Even mentioning that I have some girls I can bang that I would honestly rather jerk off instead to save time isn't doing me any favours. For me it isn't improvement and I am justifying why I haven't made faster progress. I wrote it to complete a summary tickbox OYS exercise being lazy which I've previously been told not to do. Need to improve.
/r/MarriedRedPill23/03/23 04:11 AM
1

I am back to SL 5x5 ... I am now doing a PPL routine What?
/r/MarriedRedPill22/03/23 04:06 PM
1

Also, glad you’re taking more responsibility re work. I know that was (and prob still is at least for now) a weakness of yours. Yes. Need to do a huge amount of work here. Less talk more action for me. It is hampering my progress in other areas. Calorie surplus - I’d be surprised if 3300 isn’t more than enough. I prefer the more gradual, sustainable changes / tweaks vs aggressive bulk/cut cycles. Have done a fairly structured maintenance phase over the last 4-6 weeks. Maintenance has settled at …
/r/MarriedRedPill22/03/23 03:59 PM
1

My cholesterol was elevated at a recent check, so I've increased fiber and water intake. I add oatmeal and psyllium husk to my morning shake and really try to emphasize vegetables otherwise. Also, re-implemented fish oil pills. Not a Dr. Do you own research but try adding supplemental Niacin to your stack. "What impact does niacin have on cholesterol? Niacin can lower triglycerides by 25% and raise HDL cholesterol by more than 30%."
/r/MarriedRedPill22/03/23 12:23 PM
4

OYS #9 - 6'2, 200lbs Read: NMMNG, WISNIFG, RM1, 16COP, BOP, PFP, Bang, Praxeology Lifts: Took a deload last week. 2-3x a week @ gym and walking every day. 200x2x5 incline bench, Pull ups +45lb 3x5. Building squat+ deadlift back up after higher rep stuff for the last few months. This cycle want to hit 315x10 squat and 440x5 deadlift. Having dropped 50lbs in the last year, introducing a calorie surplus again feels counterproductive but it's the time to do it to be in peak shape for next summer. St…
/r/MarriedRedPill22/03/23 09:42 AM
1

Absolutely. I was mad at myself, not others which is an improvement and made me see a lot of covert contracts I have in place as well as other areas I need to update mental models. Dunning-Kruger in full effect. "The work is its own reward" has come to mind for me thinking about it after.
/r/MarriedRedPill15/03/23 01:06 PM
2

OYS # 8 – 6’2 198lbs I took 3 weeks off from here as I felt the weekly posting was providing validation that I don’t want or need at this stage in my journey. Hit 375x10 deadlift. 210x5 incline bench. I really want that 2 plate x 5 incline. 10k steps a day avg for year. The steps have required discipline to achieve and reinforced the importance of your average performance affecting overall goals (easier to be consistently avg vs superstar/lazy). Diet is spot on every day. More time outdoors and …
/r/MarriedRedPill14/03/23 02:05 PM
1

Do you have a diagnosed mental condition? I'm not sure if your unintelligible ramblings are that of mania or legit autism. What are you looking to achieve by being here?
/r/MarriedRedPill28/02/23 09:44 PM
4

You are saying a lot but aren't arriving at obvious conclusions. There is a lot of focus on details, not the bigger picture. Reread your post from the perspective that another guy wrote it - what conclusions do you arrive at? ​ I've responded to you for 3 weeks now without much progress. Here are some obvious areas for you: Lifting - you will probably get faster progression using another "squat" variation until you are able to get a rack. I assume you are doing a zercher from the floor. As a nov…
/r/MarriedRedPill28/02/23 07:12 PM
3

Half of the "lift" advice is getting out of the house and the fuck away from the wife. Any woman with social media these days has seen the weight that competent lifters can move. If she walks past you and sees you struggling to rep the bar with a tiny biscuit on each side what does that communicate? There is a gym SOMEWHERE near you that you can go to that isn't too expensive and has appropriate equipment for your needs. If you can't spare $10 a week fix your finances. Call the gym up and use yo…
/r/MarriedRedPill24/02/23 03:25 AM
1

Not necessarily overt dread. If you remember when you were single and had multiple plates on the go, they all seemed to act right. They asked if you were seeing other girls and you obfuscated. You cared less and in turn, they cared more. Without realising it your behaviour was recognised by her limbic brain to be that of a man with options who was also exercising them, even if she was telling herself that you were only seeing her. They subconsciously recognise that fulfilling your requirements i…
/r/MarriedRedPill24/02/23 02:26 AM
2

Reframe it another way. You were a shit employee. You wanted a promotion and more money. Your tell your boss and he says "haha, yeah and I want Pamela Anderson from 2003 to give me a blowjob...". You realise you've been turning up to work hungover, late and had zero productivity. You're not doing enough to get fired but your boss thinks "fuck, this is gonna cost me more to retrain someone to do his role, even if he's doing a shit job. I'll do something about it if he gets worse but I can't be bo…
/r/MarriedRedPill23/02/23 03:44 AM
4

Referring to other parts of his post. maybe I'm not that great as I think I am. Or maybe I'm even better ​ My weight is always between 67Kg and 68Kg. I've reached 69Kg but quickly lost it the day after, maybe due to water retention. I am forcing myself to eat. Still not satisfied with my weight. Reduced my BF slightly, but that's the least of my concerns. ​ I'm not the coolest Alfa Chad that ever lived just because I can decently hold a conversation and I'm not afraid of eye contact ​ I was comp…
/r/MarriedRedPill23/02/23 01:42 AM
2

Currently running Upper Lower split 2-3x a week. Most recent bests (in past 2 weeks) Squat - 265 x 15 Deadlift - 365 x 10 (done after squat). Incline bench - 210 x 5 Pull up + 45lb x 8 I'd assess that I'm already in the top 5% physically. I am lean and strong. I look good and I've done the work here. I get the point though re goals.
/r/MarriedRedPill23/02/23 12:21 AM
1

Then I am confronted with: "who are you texting with hearts and kisses" I DEER for 5 seconds saying I sometimes text them to my friends (and I really do, on WhatsApp), but DEER'd in a somewhat bastardized Amused Mastery way (meaning: half assed). After that I STFU and try to forget about it. Well, she's mad. I think about it afterwards. Why is she being so jealous? Then it hits me. I was complaining she wasn't jealous at all, now, out of the blue, she's jealous without any reason and I don't lik…
/r/MarriedRedPill22/02/23 10:19 AM
8

I'm not expert, but I can see you are the one doing the majority of the effort in the relationship. You are giving with an expectation of something in return. Don't listen to her words, watch her behaviour. "Please don't divorce me" sure sounds good with people in a circle jerk but with no commensurate change in behaviour is just manipulation. You still believe that by being the best little boy you can be you will change her behaviour and get the validation and sex you really want.
/r/MarriedRedPill22/02/23 04:11 AM
4

I don't know how to respond without DEERing or saying something that could be considered as seeking validation. I do not have trouble getting sex with average women. I recognise that my behaviour is far from ideal which hamstrings me with girls that have more/"better" options. I am working on removing unattractive supplicative behaviours. I am working on removing scarcity behaviours. I am working on girls not being the centre of my attention. I am working on becoming a person who others want to …
/r/MarriedRedPill22/02/23 03:32 AM
2

Haha nah the guy you assume me to be isn't me, but I understand the sentiment. I may have viewed things like that 5-10 years ago (Michael's story). I have no problem looking good and getting female attention. The basic looksmax story where "i want this in a female, males and females are the same, so if I look good that means I will get good looking girls" covert contract/broken mental model (similar to boss girl on the flipside). I have been lacking the soft skills to have a conversation, build …
/r/MarriedRedPill22/02/23 03:17 AM
2

OYS #7 - 29, 6'2, 199lbs. My lifting, diet, education is progressing well. It has taken discipline to continue getting steps in every day but I feel great when I finish. At end of Feb when I achieve my walking goal I will progress to more zone 2 bike as an alternative, particularly during bad weather. Work has been my focus this past week. I have been making progress in the direction I want to go. I've made the decision to change how I view things - from problems to opportunities. I have been ap…
/r/MarriedRedPill21/02/23 02:02 PM
1

Had read the first thread but not the second. I can see I have been missing the point of OYS entirely. It's not a tick box exercise or "you go bro you're clearly doing the work" circle jerk. I read and watched Rian's commentary on the below last night https://www.reddit.com/r/askMRP/comments/3u8pv2/comment/cxd1dzy/?utm_source=reddit&utm_medium=usertext&utm_name=marriedredpill&utm_content=t3_88mbvb This is my situation. I am the flipside of the 400lb guy who earns $500k in a McMansion and showers…
/r/MarriedRedPill16/02/23 01:04 AM
1

Great perspective. Thanks
/r/MarriedRedPill15/02/23 11:30 AM
1

you are probably past marginal diminishing returns on physical attractiveness. Yes. I enjoy it so I will keep focusing on progress. Even if it might take a year to get a few percent better. Balance and rounding out weak areas. Why are you such a wet noodle in your career and frame? Was hit with a few "zeroing out" experiences concurrently in different areas that have affected the mental models I view the world with and I haven't solidified new ones. The only truthful answer I can provide is that…
/r/MarriedRedPill15/02/23 04:01 AM
14

OYS #6 – Be attractive, don’t be unattractive… Stats: 29, 6'2, 195lbs – Career and Education focus for a while. Fitness Continuing maintenance phase with diet until can confirm caloric requirements as I lost 3lbs this week despite bumping calories up (water weight I’m sure). Hitting macros and micros. Lifts continue to improve. Hit a 265 x 15 squat and 365lbs x 10 deadlift. Continue to get minimum 10,000 steps a day. Trouble fat area on lower back/back of hips is becoming less “dense” to touch s…
/r/MarriedRedPill14/02/23 09:06 AM
2

Appreciate the comment and I recognise I have a lot of validation seeking behaviour. Have a lot of stuff I've been dragging my heels on. I'll disappear for a week or two and post again once completed.
/r/MarriedRedPill09/02/23 04:44 AM
2

Fair point. Create abundance, discard what doesn't serve your goals. ​ Referencing the tetrahedron of frame. My emotional and intellectual pillars have been fucked up. I have not been assertive which leads to emotional outbursts when I know that I have been manipulated too many times, too far and then something will happen when drinking and I will tear shreds off people. I don't have a drinking problem. I have an assertiveness problem. I've been working on that for 2-months now and changes have …
/r/MarriedRedPill08/02/23 12:33 PM
2

Re diet - Significantly overweight. You have enough reserves to make lifting progress whilst being on a lb/week loss for 12-18months. Stop kidding yourself. Even if you lose 1lb/week for a year you'll still be chunky. Get at it. Diet 200p, 200c, 50f over 3-4 meals and you're at ~2000cal/day. You can fit healthy, tasty meals into those macros that tastes better than eating out. Make sure you're sleeping at least 7-8 hours a night. And get your steps up ideally to 10,000 per day. You'll be hungry …
/r/MarriedRedPill08/02/23 08:49 AM
1

I agree. I am your quintessential "life comes easy" to this person. I have never thought about goals. I have fallen ass first into butter with everything I have done. I have been self-sabotaging for a long time just to see if I can get away with it, which I always have and has fed my ego. I need to and am getting serious. My age has been a big wake up call for whatever reason. I can't continue to fuck around into my 30s.
/r/MarriedRedPill08/02/23 05:23 AM
2

I agree with your comments and there is a lot of fucking around permeating my post. I've just finished Rian's Frame book and the Tetrahedron of Frame concept has been eye opening for me. Two of my pillars are fucked (emotional and intellectual). I cannot have a vision if I want multiple different things, all of which are at odds with one another concurrently. I drunkenly stumbled here after being in the overall space for coming up 2 years now after a failed 5 year relationship. I knew a lot of t…
/r/MarriedRedPill08/02/23 05:19 AM
1

Played team sports pre-puberty and did martial arts and gym post puberty. Was gifted athletically but that was discouraged and "stop wasting your time and get a job" view enforced. No structured "sport" since being an adult. Have done running and gym to stay fit. Again, I'm at a high level in a commercial gym but it's more a leisurely activity for me at this point.
/r/MarriedRedPill08/02/23 04:56 AM
2

Agree with your comments. Still part of the 80%. I have fucked around for 2 years in this space, I know Rian always jokes about 2 years being the turning point for guys under 50 re spinning their wheels and not integrating anything with their ego. I've looked at my life at the moment. I've been drunk behind the wheel, no goals, no aspirations (outside of banging and having fun). I'm the girl with big tits and nothing else and it doesn't fly anymore. Rian's Frame book had a line about people will…
/r/MarriedRedPill08/02/23 02:58 AM
1

OYS #5 Stats: 29, 6'2, 198lbs Fitness & Lifestyle: Maintenance phase continuing with diet. Am focusing on progression on compound lifts and adding accessories. Strength is continuing to increase by a rep or 5lbs each session. Will need a deload soon and will rotate main exercises to avoid overuse as I have been pushing hard on all lifts for a while now. I am cutting all of the BS out of my lifting and LISS cardio. Focusing on bedtime before midnight every night. House is spotless clean. Doing th…
/r/MarriedRedPill07/02/23 09:55 AM
2

Both
/r/MarriedRedPill07/02/23 07:01 AM
2

I've been thinking a lot about what you said over the last day or two. To be honest it really pissed me off when I originally read what you said and how I was justifying my behaviour and new, better "tools" as me being a changed person internally. You are correct. I have been supplicative. I do behave with scarcity. I do not see my own value. I know on paper what I bring on the outside but I do not believe it yet and to be frank, I have been doing the easy work (or what I find easy) for months r…
/r/MarriedRedPill07/02/23 04:29 AM
2

It was all my failure if I am being frank about it. She was an open door and I stubbed my toe on the door frame through lack of calibration, bad logistics and terrible escalation during the date. Having thought more about it, the fact that she was direct with me about where I went wrong (as well as the subtext of that statement) tells me that she was disappointed that I am not who my exterior presents. The key takeaways for me: Always relocate from original meeting point Do not sit directly oppo…
/r/MarriedRedPill04/02/23 04:43 AM
2

Alpha fail. Alpha = looks + game + frame and you lack game & frame. She’s kind of surprised at your lack of frame considering the confidence to go to a gay bar and just have fun. 100% correct. Beta fail. Your professional life is a mess and you don’t have your shit together. This is why she said you seem to just be looking to hook up (she was ready that first night but you failed there) - she’d switched to beta provider mode and you failed there too. 100% correct. Regardless of your goals with w…
/r/MarriedRedPill04/02/23 02:34 AM
2

OYS #4 Stats: 29, 6'2, 196lbs Fitness: Have been on a maintenance phase with my diet for around 2 weeks. My strength is continuing to go up on the primary lifts (200kg deadlift, 160kg squat, 100kg incline bench, +10kg on pull ups for 10 reps. I have been focusing on walking steps 10,000 per day as well during maintenance. Have food cravings at the moment, once they stop for a week or two I will return to cutting which will get me to the 10% zone. My diet has been healthy and strict with ~250 mor…
/r/MarriedRedPill03/02/23 12:05 PM
2

OYS #3 Stats: 29, 6'2, 196lbs Fitness: Cut is continuing to go well. Over ate during Christmas break but was mindful of calories. Gained 12lbs in water weight which was a bit of a surprise (puts me around 205-210lbs non-depleted weight right now). This week resumed normal diet eating of 300-500 deficit and had actually lost 2lbs for the week (i've seen this a lot online where during a multiple month cut 1 week of over feeding actually leads to further weight loss). Strength is stable despite wei…
/r/MarriedRedPill06/01/23 04:24 AM
3

No dropped all my stoner friends from Highschool/Uni as soon as i left each respective institution. Met this guy at work. He is a good friend and has a good circle of friends and girls, hes also under 30 and single, keen to go out and lifts. Has areas of improvement like anyone but when he's "on" is great at non-offensive/aggressive/friendlier approach style which I need to learn. 10-15% of the time we go out he gets high as balls on some psychedelic, i don't venture away from alcohol ever (and …
/r/MarriedRedPill14/12/22 12:03 AM
2

OYS #2 Stats: 29, 6'2, 200lbs, sub 15%, Single Fitness: Slowly cutting, maintaining 500-750 cal deficit. Have been feeling pretty good, lifting is down to 2 days per week (Upper, Lower) with LISS 7 days a week. Will try to get this up to 3 days a week (Upper, Lower, Upper alternating etc). Have been cutting a while now and lifts are maintaining strength but I do feel less motivated/drained but still getting through what I want to each day. I am getting visibly leaner. Face is getting less fat (h…
/r/MarriedRedPill13/12/22 11:39 AM
6

This is something I can provide a lot of insight into - it is an area that people REALLY overcomplicate, I remember reading a quote from a fabled trainer when asked about the minutiae of exercise in the 70s/80s that was something to the effect of "I know world record holders who are thick as pig shit and 90% of their diet is oatmeal" which is to say keep it simple and do what you need to do - as with everything else in life. ​ Muscle mass is a very good predictor of strength. There have been stu…
/r/MarriedRedPill01/12/22 02:04 AM
1

Re "drinking buddies" - I let my social networks completely dissolve in last relationship and through lockdowns. When I got back out I went back to guys I knew would be available to hang out. Was an accessibility and necessity decision. Being honest I turned into a complete asshole towards the end of the relationship and a lot of people cut me loose. My fault. Big lesson learned here. I am working on finding "better" friends who are on their own paths of growth rather than stagnant turds I have …
/r/MarriedRedPill29/11/22 01:24 AM
1

Thanks for reply dude. I am "over" my ex, was giving an introduction given my first post into the MRP and no background context. That was how/why I arrived in the space. I have told "drinking buddies" that I am not drinking with them for a while. Alcohol isn't my problem, hanging out with people to fill time that I am only hanging around to stop being bored is. I went out with one of them over the weekend and didn't drink and it was painfully boring. We had a loose meet up time and he got in an …
/r/MarriedRedPill28/11/22 08:33 AM
3

OYS 1 Stats: 29, 6'2, 93kg. 15% BF. Defacto relationship ended 18months ago. Living together ~5 years. Starting to Own my Shit. General Introduction Was searching for answers post break up because logically, it didn't make sense to me. Sure i was a bit heavier but she "loved" the dad bod, sure I wasn't doing as well at work but I could spend more "quality time" with her, sure I was drinking more but I was "fun", sure I had to pull it the budget a bit so we could only eat out half as much "but wh…
/r/MarriedRedPill23/11/22 05:18 AM
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