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Caring_Cactus Archive

View 2 posts and 707 comments by Caring_Cactus on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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1

Assertive people are super desirable, but not in the same pop culture connotation. The real definition simply means: "Assertiveness in psychology refers to the ability to express one's thoughts, feelings, and needs openly, honestly, and appropriately, while also respecting the rights and boundaries of others."
/r/PurplePillDebate23/12/23 03:14 AM
1

Stop you're making too much sense!
/r/PurplePillDebate26/11/23 02:35 AM
1

Those people are likely looking for some fantasy or a sugar daddy.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/11/23 07:00 PM
–

Relationships are becoming more egalitarian, which is a good thing
/r/PurplePillDebate02/11/23 04:21 PM
1

OP I'm disappointed with these comments too. However, after reading and trying to figure out why that is the case, I learned lots of these complaints seem to be a general human problem than gender specific issue. A lot of people have unrealistic expecations and standards when it comes to dating, both men and women. It also doesn't help how a lot of relationships and marriage have lost their value, those connections are becoming more egalitarian where a greater focus on family and culturing the n…
/r/PurplePillDebate27/10/23 10:58 PM
5

Everyone is only human, it's just those are the people where they've finally allowed themselves to give this special attention and care to.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/10/23 04:41 PM
0

Those are codependent women, and those shitbags are also codependent narcissists. Deep down they're both insecure but stay because of this transactional nature.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/10/23 06:38 PM
1

That need is not limited to sex, but it is true once a person is more self-realized those lower needs need less attention to maintain.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/10/23 07:40 PM
1

Fair enough, fair points. Though if people didn't base their worth on having or not having sex, people's self-esteems would become much more stable. It all relates to the human need for belonging, but that need is not limited to sex to feel fulfilled or secure
/r/PurplePillDebate13/10/23 01:43 AM
1

Btw everything you're experiencing and said is 100% real and valid, how you feel is a factual account regardless of the reasonings. Past actions and experiences (or lack of) don't define what we can become nor a person's being, those more so define what a person has to deal with, and those actions are changeable. Maybe what some of us try so hard to seek and find in others is for us to finally allow/give ourselves that same attention and care, to openly express ourselves in ways that make us fee…
/r/PurplePillDebate12/10/23 09:02 PM
1

Again you missed the point, in an ideal world people would clearly not only understand the simple logic but also feel or intuit this understanding through their body as well. There are much better ways to express exactly what you said without it coming off as virtue signaling and unhelpful.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/10/23 07:26 PM
3

Look at attachment theory or even self-determination theory, this is a driving force for development before a person can become secure in their being and self-realized. I 100% agree with you though, but your phrasing lacks nuance and tact which will cause some miscommunication in your ideas. Anyone would find a self-assured person attractive, that's for sure. One thing to realize are a lot of people who have developed trauma bonds or an insecure attachment style from childhood then have all this…
/r/PurplePillDebate12/10/23 05:30 PM
1

What do you expect other people to do exactly? Sounds like there are other issues that need to be resolved first outside of sex.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/10/23 04:57 PM
2

The human need for belonging is quite well established in literature. And quite sadly a lot of marketing tactics center around this need to try to influence and control others. Though I disagree with the emphasis on sex, it's not the only way to fulfill that need.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/10/23 04:53 PM
2

As a fellow mid twenties male who has never had sex it sounds like you're describing some contingencies of worth, and these incongruencies in your self-concept between your current real self and your perceived ideal self are what lead to self-esteem issues. What you think a "man" is in order for others to accept and approve you may just be introjected values that interfere and warp one's perception from regarding themselves more positively and to have more self-value in themselves to experience …
/r/PurplePillDebate12/10/23 04:48 PM
1

As a mid twenties male who has never had sex it sounds like you have other issues you need to sort through. Pinning lack of sex as the contingent reason you can't regard yourself positively is a distraction from accepting and cultivating more of your own self-value, to take action for yourself in life for the experience of meaningful moments happening right in front of us.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/10/23 04:29 PM
3

I completely disagree, those sound like contingencies of worth if it makes or breaks a person.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/10/23 04:25 PM
6

My opinion may be unpopular, but I don't think sex is a need if the goal is to simply be happy; it's more so a want.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/10/23 04:22 PM
2

You watched the latest kurzgesagt video didn't you, lol
/r/PurplePillDebate07/10/23 06:45 AM
0

You have to have a strong sense of self to skip the 'hoe phase', a lot of the time people define and develop their sense of worth based on what others say to validate how they feel toward themselves. People who think they're missing out by being tied down in a relationship likely have a weaker sense of self that they're still trying to explore and find. I'm generalizing of course and this mainly applies to people who want a relationship to begin with.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/09/23 06:31 AM
7

Your post is a bit ironic talking about entitlement and inflated egos.. your post is vouching for the same thing. If you're talking about in a general sense that anyone is deserving of a relationship, then okay fair game, but love can't be forced, so who are you talking to in your post? Are you trying to control things beyond your control?
/r/PurplePillDebate11/09/23 07:31 PM
-2

Exactly, I 100% agree with you, that's why I was trying to counter top comment. Focus on what's in front of us and on what is within our control, our own actions and thoughts.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/08/23 11:19 PM
3

It may be a parent's responsibility, but at a certain point we as individuals are the only ones who can hold ourselves accountable. In an ideal world all children would develop a secure attachment that carries over into adulthood, sadly the reality is that is not always possible even among good parents. Parents and society can be to blame, but what then?
/r/PurplePillDebate31/08/23 09:06 PM
2

Finding yourself. Yes those things can potentially fulfill our need for belonging, but that's an extra step from realizing our inherent self-worth to take meaningful actions in our life.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/08/23 05:01 PM
1

Never said you didn't, but I believe that's what people mostly mean by personality, some people are difficult to interact with for those two reasons. I believe it does when a person changes any limiting mindsets and beliefs. <image>
/r/PurplePillDebate23/08/23 08:08 PM
2

I actually agree with you, BUT people can improve their emotional maturity and communication skills. Those two factors are what determine compatability the most in terms of connections in life. Everything else is preferences in shared goals and values which should typically not be changed.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/08/23 07:54 PM
4

It is based on grifters who play on people's emotions with feel-good revenge porn.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/07/23 06:35 PM
3

This reads and is structured like chatGPT. Anyway, confidence can give off these impressions, but it can also be faked and come from other sources that make it more contingent. If a person's environment and support systems change it can reveal it may have been masking low self-esteem. Having confidence does not always correlate to grounded self-worth like your post mentioned for this reason, but if a person truly does have high self-confidence then all that was said is true. It is still attracti…
/r/PurplePillDebate06/07/23 09:18 PM
1

Neither, and it is whatever you choose to value yourself. Everyone should try to develop a better relationship with themselves for secure high self-esteem.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/07/23 10:21 PM
1

People who don't experience FOMO, they're out there.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/06/23 07:08 AM
1

Thank you, mature and secure love is a mutual choice two people decide to build a future they want to create together. We can only accept and share ourselves with others, and they can only do the same for us too.
/r/seduction20/06/23 12:08 AM
1

Yes people do overgeneralize like this sadly, and a lot of influencers on social media encourage it on purpose to stir people up. This is a big reason I barely interact in this subreddit anymore, it's kind of pointless imo, but people find debates in general fun.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/06/23 09:00 PM
1

You're on the right path, there was another comment that said something similar. Therapy helped them realize and overcome this.
/r/seduction12/06/23 02:46 AM
2

As a fellow self-confident virgin, superficial numbers and labels don't mean anything; it may shape what they had to deal with, but it does not define who/what they become, such as the person they are now. You are not dating someone's past, you are dating the person right in front of you. Someone who has grounded self-worth and treats themselves as an individual will see the individual in others because they are less focused on deficient, self-maintence needs to focus more of their energy beyond…
/r/seduction12/06/23 02:41 AM
2

Those moments people chase are when we finally experience unconditional positive regard, have a strong connection and feeling of flow, emotional security and high self-esteem, with ourselves. Instead of a single short-lived moment we chase, dependent on a condition/trigger, it is possible to grow and realize more of our inherent self-worth to experience this more consistently almost in each and every moment. We seek to become more autonomous proactively leading our ego with actions, instead of b…
/r/seduction12/06/23 02:16 AM
2

As a virgin it is possible to derive that same level of contentment, to have grounded self-worth, but directly experiencing with your level of awareness definetly speeds that process up.
/r/seduction12/06/23 02:08 AM
1

They see and treat you as an individual because they also do the same with themselves. I imagine those are one of the strongest connections out there
/r/seduction12/06/23 02:02 AM
2

What a great read, kudos to you for finding yourself! Having more of our own self-confidence truly is a super power, less focus on our own self-maintence needs and can redirect more energy beyond ourselves in a secure and sustainable manner in what we want to do.
/r/seduction12/06/23 01:50 AM
1

Man what a deep spiral to go down in, I hope you're able to challenge and rewire some of these beliefs that have rooted. There is still time thankfully, our brains can easily change before the age of 25. The only reason why change after 25 can be harder is because it requires a person's full undivided attention and awareness on the change they seek.
/r/seduction12/06/23 01:19 AM
1

You finally found your worth, it makes each and every moment that much better!
/r/seduction12/06/23 01:13 AM
8

As a virgin I've come to the same outlook now too, it is a blessing if you are ready to lead yourself, and for those who are not ready it can make one feel empty, lost and jaded. It's really interesting to hear others' experiences.
/r/seduction12/06/23 12:44 AM
0

Or how about you focus on living your life genuinely first? None of what you said is a requirement to experience life as it is.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/05/23 12:32 AM
–

It's so transactional and serves no real purpose. If the goal is a relationship this shows zero tact even with the purest of intent.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/05/23 02:38 PM
–

Knowledge from just viewing a picture and information can often be misleading, experience in-person predicts most of this and prevents biases because as you said there is more of a human connection and dialogue that incorporates the whole five sensory experience. So that makes sense, plus it has been noted that the online space has created more of a divide and niche shared experiences. Back in the day people weren't bombarded with all these options and were more forced to get information and for…
/r/PurplePillDebate09/05/23 07:04 PM
1

People have their right to stick to their choices, what would make it not valid? The only thing I would say to change is to be careful with some of these generalizations. It is too easy to have black and white thinking when it comes to getting to know an individual. We can either focus on reacting to others' lives or living our own life. Shitty people come in all shapes and colors.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/05/23 02:50 AM
37

Pretty sure in an individualistic society both sides would prefer someone who can at least provide for themselves. And if not, then most would have a tendency to default to old ways, with income placed as the male's role.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/12/22 01:40 AM
2

So what's the goal or point in doing so?
/r/AllPillDebate12/12/22 01:26 AM
0

Entitlement, it's so easy to blame others and ignore your own problems. No accountability
/r/PurplePillDebate22/11/22 07:03 AM
5

I think people who think it's unfair are just dealing with emotion regulation issues and unhealthy mindsets. Comparison is the thief of joy
/r/PurplePillDebate22/10/22 05:49 PM
-1

What about the quality of a relationship for women? It's a two-way street. Maybe women get more attention, but that doesn't mean it is genuine
/r/PurplePillDebate06/10/22 05:31 AM
1

If you read this subreddit rules only top comments from women are allowed for this flair. It will get removed in a couple hours I bet once the sun rises for us Americans.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/10/22 02:35 PM
1

More like people don't hold themselves accountable enough
/r/PurplePillDebate04/10/22 02:30 PM
2

Simple, low emotional intelligence. This goes for both men and women, they'll take the short-term pleasure and ignore everything else if the opportunity presents itself. They'll upregulate the good emotions they experience while ignoring any judgement that goes against the integrity they have for themselves. Only when confronted do they actually have to face those thoughts again.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/10/22 12:56 AM
1

I'm single and choose to refrain from them both as best I can, I don't expect that to change for myself personally. Most sexual drives are based on our outward behaviors, such as frequency. Since we're only human I would not bet on most people being like this, it's a minority for sure.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/09/22 08:06 PM
1

I hope more people adopt this outlook and perspective, seeing relationships more as a complement to each others' lives than a need (most of which are based on emotions than feelings they choose with strength for themselves).
/r/PurplePillDebate22/09/22 12:31 AM
1

These are interesting points you brought up, and definetly an ongoing shift as the patriarchy disappears due to changing social norms. So it seems like a lot of people (especially younger) are unsure about what to expect or lead their life, this goes for both men and women being affected in this shift. I think more and more people will stop adopting some of the past dangerous stereotypes on genders, and hopefully unite more based on individual characters than presumed gender expecations. I think…
/r/PurplePillDebate22/09/22 12:29 AM
3

You're absolutely right, no person should if you're living the life you want to lead for yourself! Like you said in your comment others' opinions come second, a lot of people do the opposite. Self-worth really is inherent in our ability to take action for ourselves, to provide ourselves the attention and care we desire. Oftentimes too what most people seek in others' are things they want to be able to do for themselves. So many people have conditional self-worth which really makes it difficult t…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/09/22 02:00 AM
5

A lot of those spaces were toxic, which could be a combination of the community or one or a few terrible mods who weren't equipped to properly moderate a sensitive topic so it doesn't break reddit TOS.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/09/22 01:15 AM
5

Self-worth and worth are two separate things. Society doesn't care about self-worth a person has for themselves. They care about the worth they decide to slap on the mass. The same goes for confidence and self-confidence.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/09/22 01:09 AM
2

Personally I believe there's nothing too major sex wise, but sure there could be cultural definitions and stereotypes that hurt individuals (just like there are for women). This may be off topic, but one thing I find dangerous are these gender stereotypes both men and women have to deal with; I don't think anyone should be defined by their supposed gender, putting people in pretty/rigid boxes hurts and limits what individuals can do for themselves.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/09/22 08:35 PM
2

I think it's bad advice due to how generalized it is, the focus is on another person instead of the individual, but I think it matters in the context it is said to someone. If the person who is infatuated has done nothing to progress the connection, let alone establish it, this is terrible advice. If the person has initiated and proactively taken steps to move the connection forward, but is not reciprocated, this is good advice to move on. At the very least both individuals can sit down and have…
/r/PurplePillDebate18/09/22 10:06 PM
1

That sounds more like deception from a player, there's always bad players out there who put on a false front knowingly. At leas you're aware and don't try to ignore it, that shows higher emotional intelligence than most. I feel like two of the biggest problems people face in dating are poor communication styles and emotion regulation issues.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/09/22 04:27 PM
13

How about it's not a sex war, and emotionally insecure people with inflated egos (both men and women) fuck other people up for their own self-serving needs.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/09/22 05:43 AM
15

I've heard of this happening to both sexes, usually the person with low self-esteem settles, gets comfortable, "levels up", and tries to get more. I agree, I don't necessarily think it's wrong for women to want a secure man, BUT the person has to also look at themselves for any red flags, work on those too for themselves. More often than not though, one or both people are insecure, or dating wouldn't be what it is today.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/09/22 04:15 AM
6

So OP, there seems to be two problems each side is presenting. The lack of connection for men, and the lack of partners for women. Wow sounds like both sides are struggling with finding what they want, and this is nothing new among the dating landscape, and we all have noticed the disparity growing among both sides. Pitting the sexes against each other solves nothing. There's been a change in social values, standards, and expecations ever since social media has been introduced. Both sides are su…
/r/PurplePillDebate14/09/22 10:46 PM
6

I'm not comparing it to depression, my bad for any confusion, but your proposed answer to the question was rhetorical, and this post labeled as a "discussion" does not sound like it's in good faith. With all your responses this is more of a CMV debate post. To speak on what you just said though, a lot of people struggle with emotion regulation issues, so many people don't know how to manage their emotions for a secure self, otherwise they would not be self-victimizing themselves like this, they …
/r/PurplePillDebate12/09/22 07:59 AM
12

How old are you? This was a lot of virtue signaling. To parallel what you said is no different from telling a depressed person to stop being depressed.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/09/22 07:29 AM
3

I see your point. I guess in terms of a romantic connection too that would be a red flag for many.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/09/22 01:45 AM
1

No, your name's not u/wtknight. I want to hear his personal perspective from the comment he made. Edit: But anyone is free to comment about it too if they want. You've already done that though with him.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/09/22 09:12 PM
1

Personally, I agree with the top level comment this thread is on, it's more of a compatability issue, but that doesn't mean (imo) they are permanently not LTR material as you put it. The past doesn't define us, but it can shape us.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/09/22 08:59 PM
1

That doesn't make it more logical, it's worded differently. What a person seeks emotional support from is going to cause different lifestyles in our outward behaviors, and possibly different values too. If a person is relies heavily on something for emotional security to support their sense of self, old habits can die hard, it takes time for a person to change.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/09/22 08:45 PM
1

I'm curious, instead of casual sex, were there any other copes you may have overindulged in? Whether it be sex, masturbation, food, videogames, I feel these circumstances don't matter too much as they're a coping means to possibly a lack of emotional support missing somewhere. Edit: grammar
/r/PurplePillDebate11/09/22 08:34 PM
20

I would say this seems more prevalent and common spread nowadays, maybe before the 2000s this was not the case so much. I'm sure technology and social media has had a huge impact too on both sexes
/r/PurplePillDebate11/09/22 08:22 PM
0

This goes for any sex/gender, but increasing our emotional intelligence. Our perception or self-image determines a lot more in how we experience the world around us than any circumstances.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/09/22 08:14 PM
3

A large number of men are insufferable, why do you think we hear more abuse stories where the man is the perpetrator? It does take two to tango though.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/09/22 08:11 PM
1

I hope you realize everyone starts out as a virgin, but look where a lot of people end up lol. Point is virginity doesn't mean anything, and definitely not in the way you're talking. Most virgins are blue pilled
/r/PurplePillDebate08/09/22 07:41 AM
2

A lot of men are the same way, in fact most humans, and actually emotions are what drive our actions... but if you're talking about more unhealthy ego-involvement this is not exclusive to women, but any man or woman who has an insecure attachment with themselves.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/09/22 03:57 PM
0

That shouldn't matter in how a person treats themselves, because not all societal values are consistent nor healthy. It sets people up for insecurity, on both sides, if they blindly accept those self-esteem traps
/r/PurplePillDebate07/09/22 03:39 PM
2

I'm conflating here, but sounds like you're saying men don't have value and bring no value to women lol, while women have and bring value to men. Edit: Btw I don't agree with this, but it's to bring a point to how what you said is not relevant nor conversely consistent. Imo past sex doesn't determine nor bring any value.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/09/22 06:18 AM
1

People who want to be hypocrits can spout whatever they want, at the end of the day it's their life and choice. If they want to lie to themselves that's on them
/r/PurplePillDebate07/09/22 06:12 AM
9

I'm playing devil's advocate, but there have been a lot of comparisons with men to garbage, atm machines, dogs, etc to describe value.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/09/22 06:07 AM
3

Many men love sex, many women love sex, many humans in general love sex who'd have thought that? If we're talking about preferences, I don't find that stuff desirable so I wouldn't go after someone who has a different lifestyle than me.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/09/22 06:03 AM
1

No you're throwing a red hearing; back to the main argument, it's not misogynistic/misandry if a person doesn't want to be romantically involved with someone who participates a lot in "xxx" activity.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/09/22 05:59 AM
3

I wouldn't say they're insecure, who would romantically want to be with a person who is addicted to watching porn all the time? The same can be said too about who would romantically want to be with a person who dicks down all the time? Edit: grammar
/r/PurplePillDebate07/09/22 05:49 AM
10

Paraphrasing and using your same logic can be applied to women too: a woman who has sex with a lot of men has attractive qualities that make her desirable and fun to be around. Edit: grammar
/r/PurplePillDebate07/09/22 05:42 AM
2

You do realize the same can be said about her, she rarely committed too. You BOTH committed to each other in the present, and the past did not even matter, it was an esteem issue to place so much energy into the past if you both carried yourselves well enough in the present.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/09/22 05:33 AM
4

Ding ding ding, bingo. There is so much generalizing going on online, people should focus on the individual not sex/gender imo.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/09/22 05:29 AM
1

People can choose to not involve themselves romantically with those who have had a lot of sex, I would say this is no different from a person not wanting to date someone who watched a lot of porn, did drugs, is a virgin (low n count), etc.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/09/22 05:28 AM
3

It's a metaphor, but I personally disagree with them too. If people were actually honest with themselves there would be no reason to "test drive" anyone.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/09/22 05:21 AM
1

This is misogynistic af dude.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/09/22 05:16 AM
1

People in real life don't care about these numbers if the person is humbled. We're all humans, the past doesn't define a person, only how they carry themselves with each passing present moment.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/09/22 05:13 AM
2

For most people, what we're all really searching is for a greater connection in wholeness with ourselves, essentially security in self. Maybe for a lot of women and men sexuality is an easy (and addicting) escape to emotionally feel alive and validate themselves, of course though how we feel is ultimately determined by the individual, and not some dependent other to live through. Edit: I would say most of this is both an emotion regulation issue and an esteem issue.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/09/22 04:03 AM
10

This speaks volumes on how many people are not ready, and romanticize marriage as a fix all for their own life's problems.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/09/22 07:06 AM
1

What do you think is preventing from not being a virgin then?
/r/PurplePillDebate05/09/22 12:45 AM
1

You don't have to appease or be liked by everyone, just that one person both individuals choose. There is a lot more attention on the negative talk than all the positive instances going on.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/09/22 10:12 PM
1

Mark Zuckerberg has kids and a wife lol, terrible example. If you can make someone feel something emotional, then that about does it.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/09/22 09:13 PM
11

I'm assuming both individuals are in a marriage, so no it's not intimidating because it's a partnership and life you're both building together. I really despise sex/gender roles/stereotypes/labels/etc. Sure it can be useful to organize and quickly assume things about someone, but none of that should really matter (imo) when it comes to two individuals connecting and actually getting to know someone. Limited self-expressions like the example in your post can restrict both individuals from connect…
/r/PurplePillDebate04/09/22 04:05 AM
3

We can't control how others act, but we can control our own actions by recognizing this. We can recognize others may be at a different emotional maturity than our own, or if it's something we're working on to practice more on recognizing this sooner for greater emotional security, and not let the words of others affect our own self-confidence.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/09/22 10:21 PM
3

Maybe this stems from people looking for something in another who can't provide it. If people could communicate this, and not take it personally to move on, then most of these social problems wouldn't exist.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/09/22 10:05 PM
7

You're overgeneralizing, assholes are assholes no matter the sex or gender. Both men and women, no matter the age, are capable of shitty behavior like this. People who cheat for example, are awful and it doesn't matter if it was a man or woman.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/09/22 09:54 PM
3

So is the man looking for a serious relationship or a string of hookups? Your point makes no sense here, it's not good to string people along if they are looking for something different.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/09/22 09:36 PM
5

I think people in general are out of their "hoe" phase once they've dropped their naivety and don't chase sexuality anymore as a first need. This may explain why many women than men can be emotionally secure sooner because it happens to them sooner, they have worked through and experienced those emotions of longing and no longer depend on it as a need per say, but a complement to their life. Edit: Who cares what other people think, we can't control what others' values or mindsets may be, focus y…
/r/PurplePillDebate03/09/22 09:31 PM
1

Depends on how much emotional support a parent, regardless of their sex, is able to provide in an open and understanding manner. Most teens might lack that connection with their parent and find it elsewhere in others, or sometimes sex and drugs which isn't the best cope per say.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/08/22 10:20 PM
24

Sound advice, most of this relates to emotional intelligence which is something that can be hard to instill in others since we all too can struggle with emotion regulation. Things like self-worth and self-esteem need constant maintaining on an everyday basis for a secure self.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/08/22 07:58 PM
1

I don't really comment on this subreddit, but this is so true. These people usually have low self-confidence which makes them a harder worker for others so they can feel validated since they currently aren't able to do so for themselves.
/r/seduction27/08/22 07:19 PM
1

It almost sounds like he used all those charms to socially protect himself, kind of like a cover. Low key sounds like some psychopath behavior, that's a pretty radical thing to believe in
/r/PurplePillDebate27/08/22 05:02 PM
12

You either play the games and chase, or chill out and focus more on your own wellbeing. It's much better to make a choice with strength you choose than wallow.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/08/22 04:58 PM
28

Does it sound like they have kids?
/r/PurplePillDebate27/08/22 04:56 PM
8

Not cool? What does that even mean, they're individuals too like you, are you cool?
/r/PurplePillDebate27/08/22 04:55 PM
24

Depends, if the parent is compassionate and understanding, not projecting their own personal issues when talking to the kid, I think parents can be a best friend to their kid.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/08/22 04:48 PM
9

Men can too. Anyone who is emotionally secure and humbled will have a more secure sense of self to control their life more the way they want it.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/08/22 07:52 AM
30

As another person mentioned, we can only focus on higher thoughts if our emotional well-being is in check. Things like sex pertain to our ego and changing emotional states, if people do not feel valued or have meaningful experiences they're going to stay in that deficient state and won't have much room for other creative outlets. Most people do not feel emotionally supported, whether that be from others or their own self in restricted self-expressions, and that can cause stress on the body to go…
/r/PurplePillDebate27/08/22 07:47 AM
1

You answered your own question in the first sentence. It ain't that deep imo, you either go along with the system or have some kind of "truth" you abide by.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/08/22 04:29 AM
0

You can if you decrease your frequency in masturbation/sex. The body falls into patterns of habit, and like with any habit, it will change and adapt based on your lifestyle. Edit: Not you, but a lot of dudes feel emotionally unsupportive, and masturbation at least is a cheap escape that can provide some security, but it's not a long-term solution towards a stable self.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/08/22 10:12 PM
2

Oops, I replied to the wrong comment. Sorry about that dude
/r/PurplePillDebate26/08/22 09:45 PM
4

A lot of humans want both, some humans may want one. This isn't complicated people
/r/PurplePillDebate26/08/22 09:45 PM
0

It's not though... people who don't have a bit of self-control are letting go of accountability. Edit: They're letting their emotional states control their conscious experiences more than then deciding how they feel to influence their emotional states.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/08/22 09:43 PM
1

How about each person validates themselves and then consent to actions they choose for themselves. If it doesn't work out, find someone who is more compatible, problem solved.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/08/22 09:39 PM
1

A lot of humans want both, some humans may want one. This isn't complicated people
/r/PurplePillDebate26/08/22 09:33 PM
4

Personally I think you're in the wrong place if you're looking for advice, none of us know you or your circumstances either. Edit: Even then knowing is only half the issue, a person could know the right path or direction to take in life and still not do it. Habits and a secure self take conscious real life effort and time.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/08/22 05:14 PM
8

I find it silly how people try to compare others' lives against their own when it's not grounded in logic, only emotion. Two people could be extremely happy and confident, but come from two different backgrounds and circumstances that don't affect how they feel for themselves. Doing downward/upward social comparisons is not healthy self-esteem, and makes our worth to feel secure conditional instead of innate to take action for ourselves.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/08/22 04:54 PM
17

This is your response to a real answer OP? You're not going to find some magical detail to copy from any of these dudes
/r/PurplePillDebate26/08/22 04:20 PM
2

Yes, and if after that there were still trust issues I'd be a bit lost on what the real issue is at that point. And no to the database. If you want to find lost cousins do a voluntary ancestry test.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/08/22 07:08 AM
1

I don't think normal people are really affected by this, maybe those in the big cities or those who have low success with the dating game. If they see dating as a game, something to win in, these people have the wrong mindsets imo, at least for real love which so many don't have as a good role model of in their life.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/08/22 11:52 PM
2

These are solid points. Your #2 solution is super important too because many of these men (people in general) need some other guidance, tools, to help them find greater security which is often a purpose or direction in life. This is why we see many more on the NoFap movement or semen retention, not to such extremes as an identity, but as a tool used to find our purpose. People who get so caught up in the dating game are going to be burnt out, we see this for all genders/sexes.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/08/22 02:21 AM
9

People who touch grass will realize this is reality, not these few experiences like OP is talking about.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/08/22 02:13 AM
3

What is with this low or high value crud, none of this determines how they treat you, and if "HV" also means higher emotional intelligence to have a decent personality that's obviously the better choice.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/08/22 02:12 AM
1

Your original quote said you don't see a woman as datable unless they're doing trashy stuff lol. A lot of us were confused by that, but this clarifies the honest mistake. Edit: grammar and syntax.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/08/22 12:44 AM
2

More money does not mean emotionally secure though, unless they have a personality for a good social circle. Having good emotional intelligence is dependent more so on the individual than any circumstances. People in good environments or circumstances are not always happy, that's just the human experience until we all become more emotionally mature.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/08/22 12:39 AM
2

>I hardly ever see dateable women anymore unless they're doing some obscenely trashy shit Don't you mean the opposite, when they're not doing trashy stuff?
/r/PurplePillDebate23/08/22 12:36 AM
3

That's going to happen regardless of who they pay or get involved to fix their love life, because chances are these people have some issues they need to figure out or understand themselves better first. The agency doesn't care like a friend would, they want money and are basically a life coach.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/08/22 10:29 PM
1

Okay I guess that makes sense, maybe for someone who has TONS of money to spare and is so clueless. I can understand if this is for high socio-economic individuals, even then there are dedicated apps for those high profile people.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/08/22 09:17 PM
4

You think a human who doesn't know two people are any better at pairing?
/r/PurplePillDebate21/08/22 08:37 PM
2

This sounds old fashion, and dating apps are the more modern versions of this.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/08/22 08:04 PM
2

I think people in general want someone who is dependable and their own person, regardless of sex/gender. This means someone who takes the initiative, and holds themselves accountable. Edit: everyone likes seeing a person be their best, and consistency is always nice to see from others.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/08/22 02:06 AM
3

I agree, there are those who give more and are "givers" or those who are more transactional as "takers." The latter often are a bit more entitled because they sometimes mistake the confidence others provide for them as their own self-confidence. How our environment or others treat us has a strong influence on ourselves to those who are open to it.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/08/22 01:11 AM
3

The attitudes a person has, the way they carry themselves essentially I think is a good indicator on how they feel for themselves. If it's real and genuine too, not a mask to cover up any low self-esteem, their self-confidence I think will allow themselves to give more energy, or good vibes, to others more often because they have extra to spare. This is known as positive affect, "one's propensity to experience positive emotions and interact with others and with life's challenges in a positive wa…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/08/22 12:32 AM
7

Not sure if my personal experience has any merit as a person who hasn't had sex yet, but I view most people as normal everyday individuals going about life. When people have a healthy connection with themselves emotionally (their ego) they compare themselves less to others to maintain a secure self with healthy self-esteem. There's no scarcity mindset or motivated ego so focused on deficiency needs to maintain that secure connection, whether it be emotionally, romantically, or sexually. If I wer…
/r/PurplePillDebate20/08/22 10:03 PM
1

I would say it's more of an ideal since we're only human. A bond is only as strong as both the individual parts allow it, and even then there are tons of other limiting factors that can restrict how this is expressed over time.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/08/22 02:22 AM
1

I believe you're right, this has more to do with the neurochemicals and hormones the body releases. I imagine after a while our body can build up a tolerance to recoup faster.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/08/22 11:09 PM
1

I'm ignorant on this and I'm not sure if it's true or not, but I wonder if because men orgasms involves sperm reproduction it makes them more tired or limited due to recovery.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/08/22 08:28 PM
2

Well imo both of those kinds of one-sided connections usually aren't stable in the long run. People focus way too much on societal ideals without remembering the human, only focusing on what they can get or feel out of a relationship. It's such a transactional way to live life to tie your worth on someone else's confidence.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/08/22 06:51 AM
2

People, or our bodies, adapt pretty darn well, but it does depend on a person's habits which can be hard to change. As a dude I have probably only done it 10 times so far this year. If a person does not put so much energy or value into the act, they can put it towards other activities they want to do with a bit of discipline.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/08/22 05:23 AM
3

Put your socks in a mesh bag when washing/drying, and buy the same color/type of socks. Makes laundry 10 times faster.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/08/22 04:20 AM
4

Not surprised, I meant both sex and masturbation not just sex, my bad. Link to scientific paper: Testosterone and Sexual Desire in Healthy Women and Men Free to view link: here Countering longstanding assumptions, results clearly showed that gender/sex differences in sexual desire were not mediated by circulating T, but instead by masturbation. Though T and gender/sex are partially confounded, analyses demonstrated that gender/sex, not T, was the significant predictor of desire. Together, these fi…
/r/PurplePillDebate17/08/22 04:11 AM
2

Your example is transactional, it's not a great way if you are involving people's emotions and feelings, let alone finding someone who shares similar life goals, values, and lifestyles.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/08/22 04:00 AM
2

A lot of these men then feel entitled though, not all, but a good chunk of them. Some put in the bare minimum once they get what they want
/r/PurplePillDebate17/08/22 03:31 AM
16

People who are obsessed with sex and do it all the time have a higher sex drive. This applies to both men and women, it's more behavioral
/r/PurplePillDebate17/08/22 03:26 AM
1

If that's their choice and they've decided that, that's on them.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/08/22 10:06 PM
3

The ego is probably the biggest thing holding many people back, they're inflexible and stubborn if their limiting world view, and project that onto others usually. Everything is in reference to our self-image, our understanding of the world around us. MGTOW and similar spheres have been gaining a lot more attention I've noticed too. People may be unable to cope with the changing dating landscape they'll stick to anyone who can validate and give them a reason that doesn't hold themselves accounta…
/r/PurplePillDebate11/08/22 05:19 AM
2

Fertility can also be extend with many advanced practices that increase chances too. I feel like those people are trying to use infertility and age as an excuse for their self-serving beliefs. Could be what they're only familiar and identify with, so a bruised ego trying to defend themselves.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/08/22 05:07 AM
2

There are so many examples of systemic oppression that we're still trying to undo, the patriarchy is a great example. With increasing awareness technology has brought on greater connectivity to the human experience, a lot of hidden agendas are becoming much harder to slip through thankfully. I think this shift is a good thing, everyone should be empowered to take more control in their life, it shouldn't just be one person or group of people. Imo men should care more and hold themselves accountab…
/r/PurplePillDebate11/08/22 04:48 AM
1

Preach. My mom had me when she was 44. Both my parents were a big part of my childhood, and although they were from a different generation, they were involved and I learned a lot from them. I'm in my mid twenties now and have some cousins who are now 40-50, honestly I am so glad I was born later than them. Having fast internet and readily available information everywhere is amazing.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/08/22 04:16 AM
2

100% agree with this too. Emotional intelligence is so important, and a much bigger predictor of success than IQ. Teaching healthy self-esteem and self-worth is paramount imo to having more people feel secure with themselves. Too many people shovel this off as a parent's responsibilities, but that doesn't always go so well, and there are far too many scam artists who try to capitalize on the vulnerable without much help. I think too much of society wants people to be ignorant, and dependent on c…
/r/PurplePillDebate11/08/22 04:03 AM
2

That's awesome to hear, wish and hope more people are able to grow up like this in the future. I bet if more people where pragmatic when it comes to dating, more people would be genuinly happier and never settle. This includes both vetting people AND applying the same standards to ourselves, that way love is a choice, a feeling we decide with someone, and a relationship is a complement to each others' lives instead of a dependent need. Edit: I would imagine most baggage comes from childhood trau…
/r/PurplePillDebate11/08/22 03:30 AM
1

You don't have to do that with blood relations, look at the entire human population, we're all part of bloodlines that date back millions of years. It can be a good motivator and reason to keep familial ties, but that does not necessarily mean by blood is the only option.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/08/22 03:08 AM
0

What's wrong with having kids when you're older? Chances are they will have more time to spend with their kids instead of grinding it out in corporate.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/08/22 03:05 AM
2

My dad was 54 when I was born, which was really pushing it, but not impossible. He's my best friend and best father ever, I don't know why people associate older age as being some how bad, when personality and character usually improve with age. Edit: I do agree though about age gaps, they should be fairly close imo for someone under 30.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/08/22 03:01 AM
6

It's contrary, but so odd to think someone younger has everything figured out and is the "best", when most people grow and become more mature as they age.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/08/22 02:58 AM
2

That makes sense. Just from my personal experience in most cases (not all) the expectations set early on usually stay the same, and it's these hidden motives (such as an LTR) what cause something casual to end or become unrequited love. If you mention early on the possibility of LTR prospects, I think that has a higher chance of turning into something more than only talking with ourselves about it in our head.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/08/22 10:16 PM
1

Emotions can get in the way of some red flags, an LTR doesn't make sense if you go in so quickly. Chances are the other person is not thinking LTR either at that point. This goes for both men and women.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/08/22 09:30 PM
1

Well sure, I was assuming they already liked the person, that's where the bar is. Attractiveness is pretty broad, but no one can deny income doesn't have an influence that's for sure.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/08/22 07:34 AM
0

Just made a comment to the other person.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/08/22 04:15 AM
2

A lot of shitty dudes get away with treating women as a second mom or play thing. A majority will put all this attention to woo someone and then settle with the bare minimum to keep a person around. They still operate under the patriarchy as some god or authoritative figure. This is just my opinion, there are plenty of good relationships out there doing well too, this is the bar, if you're dependable and secure with yourself to be a team player, you've passed that bar (which many would already a…
/r/PurplePillDebate09/08/22 04:11 AM
3

The bar is in hell according to many. Low key I kind of agree for most men
/r/PurplePillDebate08/08/22 11:16 PM
22

That is not romantic attraction.. quite the stretch you're trying to make.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/08/22 11:27 PM
2

You can chase pussy and feel insecure then, what's your point? If you think feeling anxious is good for yourself esteem you're not having a good time most of the time.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/08/22 07:24 AM
3

If being kind, compassionate, good, sweet, caring, etc turned the majority of women on and made them wet then I would have been the Second Coming of Jesus of Nazareth. This is the bare minimum in a relationship, having that level of desire reciprocated is the foundation for a romantic relationship. I don't necessarily agree with the rest of what you said, but everyone, regardless of sex/gender, should focus on the actions they have control over, such as picking someone better. We can't control w…
/r/PurplePillDebate05/08/22 09:02 PM
2

This is such an interesting perspective, even if we remove the gender/sex-o-spheres. At least to me, it seems a lot of people are becoming so transactional and less humble in life, they want the "fast" life without doing any of the work themselves, and won't settle for less when they compare themselves to someone who may seemingly have it better; it's not a healthy mindset imo, nor is it good for our self-esteem. Most of these social institutions almost rely heavily on taking advantage of people…
/r/PurplePillDebate05/08/22 07:18 PM
1

Ohh, I think I see what you mean now, your question though is something totally different, maybe make an edit asking, "What standards or rules do you think are applied differently" or something. Because everyone is going to say yes to your post. I think people who are generally considered attractive by many are more often likely to experience prosocial behaviors that benefit them, likely because others perceive some kind of value they can get from them, whether that be positive emotions, power, …
/r/PurplePillDebate05/08/22 05:48 PM
2

That's literally the same thing, you can call it rules, standards or whatever, people who play favorites in what they find sexually attractive will be treated different than those they don't find attractive.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/08/22 05:34 PM
1

Keep in mind this survey was only done in the largest US cities. I don't think it's applicable for other countries
/r/AllPillDebate05/08/22 04:09 PM
2

People suck, we all run into those people in life, but we can't control who they are (it would be a waste of time), so all we can control is who we let into our life. Complaining doesn't change the past, but it can help a person process their thoughts to move on and pick someone else. No one should settle if they're unhappy.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/08/22 07:06 AM
5

This sums it up perfectly.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/08/22 11:44 PM
2

I don't think this is weird to have and be relaxed around the opposite sex. Were any of these people emotionally unavailable? I also think boundaries are important, what you set the relationship to be from the start is what it will stay as usually. There are lots of ways to emotionally express ourselves, sexuality is just one of many but not a requirement.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/08/22 04:51 PM
1

It's called integrity, you decide what the connection is and remains to be from the start. It's not hard to keep a friendship a friendship.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/08/22 10:27 PM
3

I don't want to say insecure people totally, but people who need others to validate their feelings for sure. Those who are high on the neuroticism scale possibly, can be men or women.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/08/22 05:18 AM
2

Bruh, having common goals, values, and lifestyles is part of compatibility for dating. Anyone who is looking for a serious romantic relationship, these are musts.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/08/22 04:58 AM
2

Lol, I had no clue people bragged about that. Anyway, people mature or are "humbled" at different times in their life. It may take some up to midlife to experience this. Not everyone experiences this though, we see immature seniors all the time who still can't manage their emotions or socialize properly.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/07/22 04:43 PM
2

A lot of boys are the same way if they have younger siblings, they have to set an example, be the second "man" of the house and help out, do yard work, watch the bro's/sis's and help them out. I don't think this is necessarily gender specific though, at least not anymore.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/07/22 04:37 PM
1

I'm just asking specific questions instead of blanket ones. It's a free country dude, people can decide whatever they want to set out and do. What kind of sexual connection are you looking for?
/r/PurplePillDebate28/07/22 11:38 PM
4

Casual sex is damaging to both mens' and womens' wellbeing, with risks involving both the physical body and psyche. Edit: If you want to spend all your time chasing pink go for it, what's stopping you?
/r/PurplePillDebate28/07/22 11:30 PM
10

Focusing on the individual instead of the act of having sex/orgasm. Not treating sex like a transactional deed to pump and dump someone like some do in the bathroom with porn.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/07/22 07:33 PM
7

This goes to show how similar both men and women are at their core. There's been a lot more risks lately that also make it harder for people to meet openly too for such things. It's much easier to get that feeling over with alone than to deal with another person you have to attend to, lots of people don't have the energy for that. I don't necessarily think it's a bad thing, but should be something to be careful of not overdoing.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/07/22 07:30 PM
2

u/EulenWatcher I agree too, it's only one side of the whole coin. Most of these positive traits do not have an effect on the ability to find and keep a similar like-minded person too as you mentioned, two people coming together to maintain a relationship takes effort no matter what, and people underestimate this by focusing too much on circumstances/future instead of the present moment with the process.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/07/22 07:26 PM
2

Remember the human, or remember the individual; I think this can be applied to so many polarized topics/groups to create greater compassion, where people actually listen to understand instead of listening to respond.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/07/22 07:44 AM
2

I think people have more in common with age up to a certain point, once a person becomes an adult you find people from all sorts of backgrounds who are either similar or different from you, regardless of age. Age is not what most people struggle with finding, it's finding that connection with someone who shares mutual desires with you. Also, why can't it be an older woman? Personally I think circumstances in life experiences are irrelevant, and what's more important is how similar each person is…
/r/PurplePillDebate28/07/22 07:31 AM
2

That's true, if one is not careful activities can be abused with how easily accessible they are for an individual. I can relate to that as a male, personally I'm not interested in sex for pleasure (I'm also a virgin) so it would be more of a hassle to try to get a female to do the deed with. I'm sure someone who can easily get it can get addicted and rely on that as a coping mechanism if it's overdone.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/07/22 10:14 PM
2

We see this so commonly with people who are addicted to sex sexuality, videogames, gambling, social media, substance abuse, really anything that has turned into an unhealthy cope/distraction. There is a clear disconnect in reality they're perceiving, whether it's an issue they are avoiding with themselves or the enviroment, usually a combination of both. I find it helpful to view the self as two separate parts, the physical habit self and the mental thinking self. The former falls into patterns …
/r/PurplePillDebate27/07/22 07:45 PM
9

People who are addicted to novelty and rely on it for changing emotional states lack a secure self, which usually means a poor support system.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/07/22 04:10 PM
6

They just said they don't care if others didn't find them physically attractive... Bro you need some sleep or something
/r/PurplePillDebate27/07/22 04:00 PM
1

I'm in my twenties and get a bit teary eyed seeing something wholesome when I'm in a suggestive or vulnerable state. There may be a correlation with what you said and age, but I think it comes down to life experiences and how humbled a person is. Some older people are nasty and mean, they block all emotions in an attempt to feel they are in control of themselves, often projecting this onto others with how uncomfortable they are with themselves. I agree, this equally happens to men just as much a…
/r/PurplePillDebate27/07/22 03:55 PM
2

How people feel towards others is largely determined by how they feel about themselves. You're 100% correct
/r/PurplePillDebate27/07/22 08:55 AM
4

This is the best answer here.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/07/22 08:54 AM
2

Being a billionaire is not a feeling, a feeling is your conscious experience of your emotional reactions. I'm talking about the psychology term self-worth, not your perceived worth in a societal setting.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/07/22 08:37 AM
1

Sure, that's one form of gaining confidence from others, but it's not true self-confidence to tie your worth like that. Self-worth is what you're willing to do for yourself, it's what keeps self-esteem stable for a secure self. Obviously if it comes from others/outcomes in such a conditional manner it's not as sustainable or reliable compared to someone who has true self-confidence. Learn to live a little, be more in the present moment, decide how you feel for yourself.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/07/22 08:28 AM
2

This is such an important trait to have, having good communication styles ultimately predicts the success or failure of a relationship.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/07/22 07:34 AM
1

It help to think of ourselves as two parts, our mental thinking self and our physical habit self. Both interplay and influence each other, both in positive uplifting cycles we desire and sadly negative maladaptive cycles that can be hard to break out of. As long as you can have healthy ways to cope and not distract or ignore issues, you can try your best to focus most of your energy on your physical self which falls into routines of habit. If you can have more healthful habits that support your …
/r/PurplePillDebate27/07/22 07:31 AM
13

We need to get away from this notion of stoic, no emotion archetypes, it's not true Stoicism (with a capital S) that actually celebrates emotions that support our wellbeing through feelings we have control over. A person with high emotional intelligence will have a greater awareness of their emotions, a greater degree in regulating their emotions, a greater degree in understanding others' emotions, and a greater level of affective social competence. Edit: grammar
/r/PurplePillDebate27/07/22 07:12 AM
1

Jealousy may be avenue to express these emotions, so it sounds like this revolves around unhealthy self-esteem ultimately, esteem issues with low self-worth which prevents a sustainable secure self. All the confidence is tied and determined by others and outcomes, instead of them deciding it themselves and not through social comparisons for security to have true self-confidence in how they feel. This can either take the form of a weak ego who values themselves lowly, or an inflated one that is m…
/r/PurplePillDebate27/07/22 07:00 AM
3

True, but both people are depressed and unfairly compare themselves to ideals and imposed life milestones. Many people have insecurities with not fitting in or belonging anywhere like what everyone else is supposedly doing.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/07/22 06:55 AM
7

This leads to a very common problem of narcissism and feelings of entitlement. A false sense of self-confidence, the confidence of others masks the low self-esteem they actually have. Many men go through this earlier in life, I'm going to boldly make the claim a lot of women go through this much later (men too), this is what's known as a midlife crisis as unsustainable support systems crumble away.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/07/22 06:51 AM
10

A more "normy" way of saying this are that people are uncomfortable with themselves and are out of touch with reality. People focus so much on others and outcomes, they don't actually focus on themselves and the process
/r/PurplePillDebate27/07/22 06:46 AM
0

If you're looking this hard then you're focusing your energy on the wrong thing, like what kind of question is this even.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/07/22 05:02 AM
3

I think this is how everyone should live, see love not as a need (what most people search in others is what they're not giving themselves), but as a complement to each others' lives. Love is a choice, and feelings such as love come from within us and decided by us ultimately.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/07/22 12:52 AM
1

I don't necessarily agree with OP, but the points he brings up about how people are attracted to these individuals is interesting. Looking at celebrity stars or other people in power, they're all mostly self-serving and transactional to be doing so much involving others, you kind of have to be selfish to care so much about the game and love that attention. They're in the lime light, and everyone wants to get a piece of that power and try to be the one exception that isn't treated as disposable.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/07/22 12:48 AM
2

I'm one of those people as a grey asexual, but that's pretty rare among both men and women to be an asexual.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/07/22 12:41 AM
3

I thought most people were looking for sex in relationships, exclusive without sex?! What
/r/PurplePillDebate20/07/22 11:59 PM
2

Sure, anyway hope you have a good rest of your day.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/07/22 08:33 PM
2

It's called having healthy self-esteem.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/07/22 08:32 PM
0

That's letting go and out sourcing our feelings still. My point is we are ultimately the ones who decide how we feel, but many outsource this personal power unfortunately. A thousand people could go through the same experience, but not all of them will be suffering from the ego, our emotional self. It's a learned skill we get better and master over time.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/07/22 06:37 PM
2

We're the only ones accountable for our feelings, feelings come from within us, they're our conscious experiences of our emotional reactions. I'm just saying we can't control another person's intent, whether that be hidden or obvious they're trying to use us. Trying to do so, focus so much energy on the uncontrollable hurts our self-esteem, it's misplaced I believe, because you're right no one wants to get used. Edit: clarification
/r/PurplePillDebate20/07/22 06:06 PM
3

That's not something a person can control, and it's that misplaced attempt in control, tying outcomes to their self-worth, that kills anyone's self-confidence in how they feel for themselves. We shouldn't outsource our personal power to feel away for others and objects of dependence to decide for us. How many dates does it take before two people become exclusive? So many people draw this process out, and think they've developed a connection when it's actually a sunk cost fallacy.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/07/22 04:21 PM
5

Isn't that what dating is for, before you become exclusive? How many dates does it take to build that connection. I think many people who draw out the dating process with so many options distracting them, or are not in a place in life with enough time to date seriously, are shooting themselves in the foot. First impressions matter, and doing lots of shit tests like this is a sure fire way to lose many connections. I don't mean specifically withholding sex per say, but the amount of time people p…
/r/PurplePillDebate20/07/22 04:15 PM
7

I don't understand why people can't be mature adults about it. I don't think waiting does anything, if both people had the intention of looking for something long-term, and they happen to click during the early dating phase, everything else is irrelevant. Even if a person makes the other wait, there is still a chance they are future faking as a tenacious asshole. There's no way to guard against that, as an analogy even the toughest locks are breakable, it's just a matter of time.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/07/22 04:09 PM
4

If people aren't ready for rejection in the dating phase, why date at all? This sounds like torture, you should feel comfortable and open with the way you carry yourself.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/07/22 04:01 PM
3

So most of this boils down to their attitude towards life, how well they can carry themselves, with the added bonus of them being more of a giver with plenty of extra energy to extend out.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/07/22 05:05 AM
1

I don't care what other people decide as a standard when thinking about what makes a significant other attractive to them, it's not my life nor do I have a say. People who try to control others' preferences are virtue signaling.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/07/22 03:52 PM
0

I believe you, and I know it can be frustrating, but that frustration isn't productive and hurts our wellbeing. At the end of the day it's only hurting us and our self-esteem when we tie our self-worth to things not in our control.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/07/22 04:48 AM
1

Well regardless of sex/gender, the benefits of a good partner you genuinely connect with outweigh not having someone you genuinely connect with. If you want to start a family too, you'd need a partner ideally. Edit: I like the other answers on this post, it's whatever the individual decides.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/07/22 04:05 AM
1

Most of what you said has nothing to do with preferences. Having preferences is a privilege and it makes you shallow. This is getting into incel territory.. focusing so much on others and things that are beyond your control.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/07/22 03:04 AM
-2

Bro... you just self-victimized yourself by being defensive. Having preferences does not make anyone shallow, and it's something none of us can control, it's beyond us.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/07/22 02:22 AM
1

Wouldn't this be a possible red flag though, something they're ignoring about their health or even mental health? I'm talking about both men and women. Statistics don't work the way you picture it. This means out of two people you meet you're likely to still easily find someone who is not overweight.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/07/22 04:55 PM
1

Getting more attention doesn't mean it's quality attention, it means more work to sift through disingenuous people. If these same people easily get attention, then that means men are getting equal opportunities of being seen to. I don't think just because someone prefers to be more selective means they are easily getting what they are looking for. Tldr; dating for both sexes is difficult.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/07/22 04:00 AM
3

This is more of a them problem, not a woman problem.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/07/22 03:13 AM
16

This is an interesting perspective, kind of similar to how women too prefer to be single than settle, who'd have thought we're all more similar than we are different. If you don't derive your value from others and instead validate yourself, it makes your whole world become so much more secure. What most people chase in others is a feeling of wholeness with themselves, and since feelings come from within us it begs the question on why many people throw that power away for others to decide how the…
/r/PurplePillDebate15/07/22 06:03 AM
2

I feel there's a misunderstanding, no one is arguing there is not a difference between gender/sex sexual desire, objectively speaking. Saying that men’s sex drive is higher on average is not the same as saying that women have a low sex drive or don’t want sex, meaning there are still going to be a lot of women who have higher sex drives than men. The average among two broad groups does not account for specific individual differences, which is where behavioral variables play a huge role in modula…
/r/PurplePillDebate14/07/22 11:58 PM
5

If you're under 25 then everyone over 25 looks older. Edit: Since you mentioned your age, I imagine you will start to humble yourself further as you start to look older too. Ageing is an odd experience as a person joins age groups they never identified as, and leave the familiar ones they're used to.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/07/22 10:57 PM
2

People forget just how similar we all are as humans, we have a lot more in common than we do in differences, socially though is where people's life experiences change due to gender/sex.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/07/22 09:25 PM
1

Nope: Countering longstanding assumptions, results clearly showed that gender/sex differences in sexual desire were not mediated by circulating T, but instead by masturbation. Though T and gender/sex are partially confounded, analyses demonstrated that gender/sex, not T, was the significant predictor of desire. Together, these findings indicated that behavioral, not hormonal, variables were strongly linked to gender/sex differences in sexual desire. These findings also pointed to the importance of …
/r/PurplePillDebate14/07/22 09:16 PM
–

Yuppp, but as sexuality is becoming more open and acceptable for women, that has clearly changed and it's pretty close to men's too. The disparity in libido is highly dependent on an individuals behavioral tendencies (source), it really shows the importance of psychosocial variables.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/07/22 08:24 PM
6

There's an automod comment in this post already
/r/PurplePillDebate13/07/22 08:53 PM
5

This is too generalized and simplified
/r/PurplePillDebate13/07/22 07:56 PM
3

Yup totally agree
/r/PurplePillDebate13/07/22 04:55 PM
–

There are tons of information and resources online though, direct experience is not the only way to learn and instill meaning, though yes without practice it means nothing and in person interactions are still very important in our life.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/07/22 03:40 AM
2

Anyone (man or woman) being a virgin is a red flag, but red flags are not deal breakers. Most virgins are emotionally immature (not all), they're more likely to put someone on a pedestal and settle, then once they develop themselves more as a person with security there's a chance they will change or want to explore as some drop their naivety about the world that initially held them back.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/07/22 02:09 AM
1

They will be more ego-involved with their fluctuating emotional states, it hurts their wellbeing in the long run, they can struggle with interpersonal relationships.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/07/22 07:48 PM
3

Basically having a secure sense of self, a secure attachment, someone who is not only dependable in their accountability and initiating action, but someone who also has direction and purpose. Edit: Seems most of the comments are describing specific circumstances. I think what I described are the core ways these people carry themselves that result in said specifics, because some people could have a lot of money or connections and still be shit.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/07/22 03:51 PM
5

I think people in general, both men and women, just want to feel in control of their life, to be more in the present moment with their body through meaningful actions. This whole feminine and masculine energy are social constructs when you tie it to gender, what they really are is being an autonomous person versus a controlled person. People should exercise more, breath more to spend more time with their body. In most therapies they focus on instilling the importance of routine to form healthy h…
/r/PurplePillDebate10/07/22 05:43 PM
1

I think it depends if a man/woman is family oriented, because that demands sacrifice and more attention and care. Everyone has to work, but that doesn't excuse ignoring other aspects of their life they would need to attend to anyway, such as cleaning. I've seen both sexes either care and are proactive with their life, or push away and neglect it. It's more about personality
/r/PurplePillDebate10/07/22 02:51 PM
3

This is too generalized, these two are more based on personality than gender, I've seen both men and women care about their appearance and both who were clueless when it came to designating/initiating tasks.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/07/22 02:44 PM
3

True, idk how we can stop that because it's causing a lot of echo chambers for extremism, in lots of topics that affect real life too (e.g., replacement theory). Lots of people feel invincible and powerful online, they're usually the ones who are the most detached from life, it's a easy trap to fall into since our brains love how easy and instant social media validation is.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/07/22 02:27 PM
22

Anyone who let's others decide how they feel for themselves, or places others' opinions above their own relationship for validation, will likely live a miserable life. I don't think your examples are that great, nor should they be taken seriously. Lots of people virtue signal online, and usually don't care about what something made someone feel if it doesn't align with their emotions. Edit: grammar
/r/PurplePillDebate10/07/22 06:17 AM
1

Bro, I hope you don't have children until you fix this outlook you have. This is a terrible, short-sighted way to view child rearing. You'll be seen as a dead beat to them, and those around you if you said this in real life.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/07/22 03:02 AM
6

I would summarize this as: Get real life practice through social interactions Increase your self-confidence through healthy self-esteem, by increasing your self-understanding of yourself and those around you (basically increasing your emotional intelligence).
/r/PurplePillDebate09/07/22 04:12 AM
1

If you mean emotional intelligence in general, yeah it can be applied to any connection, be it romantic or platonic. They all can benefit, especially your own wellbeing as you increase your self-understanding to better regulate your emotional states.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/07/22 02:14 AM
2

I think one clear way you can see this is through how a person carries themselves. If they truly care and value themselves, they will have healthy self-esteem and self-worth, making it more likely they have a high sense of emotional intelligence.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/07/22 06:35 AM
1

No it doesn't, like with many things there's a level of self-discipline that extends beyond our attraction to novelty. At some point in your life, you will lead more with feelings you choose to influence your emotions, instead of leading more with emotions to influence your feelings. It's both a mindset and skill most* people get better at with time (*sadly some never do). Love, like a lot of feelings out there, is a choice we make. The more you exert discipline consistently, the less you will h…
/r/PurplePillDebate06/07/22 06:30 AM
5

I feel like this is too generalized, because you can see this from any human regardless of sex/gender. I think it's more of a human problem, than a man/woman problem.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/07/22 12:54 AM
3

You don't want someone who's secure and dependable? Honestly both people should be leading their lives for a healthy relationship dynamic. All this dominant and submissive crap is nonsense.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/07/22 07:06 AM
3

What if, what if, what if it's whatever the couple agrees on happily as a team instead of people caring what others online virtue signal.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/07/22 04:57 AM
2

You never stated the type of place you live, so it's hard to say unless you're looking for generic answers like you've gotten so far.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/07/22 09:10 PM
1

Just like with jobs, there are always people who don't require experience. Life isn't so complicated like that, people make it complicated.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/07/22 05:20 AM
1

What would you call a relationship between two asexuals then? What if they adopt and start a family too, that would sound pretty romantic and serious imo.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/07/22 05:14 AM
1

Emotional connection without a doubt, although in some ways I would argue that is also what physical attraction is doing too since it causes an emotional response. What most people want with themselves is to feel secure and whole in their sense of self, and a romantic connection is one way that can consistently provide that in the long-term. Physical attraction is one way I think that can jump start that process in forming an attachment to someone, to value and experience strong emotions that re…
/r/PurplePillDebate02/07/22 05:10 AM
1

The whole point of red/blue pill dichotomy is to present the dualism there is to subjective and objective reality. There will always be niche groups that take it to the extreme, there's no reason to gatekeep. Edit: grammar
/r/PurplePillDebate29/06/22 05:59 PM
8

It's so transactional, not a genuine lifestyle if you have to be full of deceit involving others.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/06/22 05:51 PM
15

I think most people use some form of social media lol
/r/PurplePillDebate28/06/22 05:41 AM
3

This contradicts your first reply on this post, men and women can get the chance to orgasm freely. If a man gets a woman pregnant they too are equally responsible for it, it's not like the man gets away scot free. They both risk an insecure future if they didn't plan for it.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/06/22 12:33 AM
7

Being able to practically maneuver social situations actively instead of being a bystander I think is what social skills are for. You can relate, you can be confident in how you feel, but doing it is not a part of the others.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/06/22 02:13 AM
2

Yeah, the first half you described someone who is able to make a person laugh, and the second part shows how dependable you can be basically. Being both capable and dependable are huge green flags.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/06/22 01:12 AM
5

Usually the 4 pillars of emotional intelligence are self-awareness, emotion regulation, empathy, and social skills.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/06/22 01:09 AM
1

The only reason virginity can be seen as a possible red flag is for one main potential reason: emotional immaturity, regardless of age/sex. This can be mediated if a person has high self-confidence from a secure self, and can be shown through how they carry themselves. Though a person at this point would likely not be a virgin unless they have a low sexual desire.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/06/22 05:13 AM
1

This is too generalized.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/06/22 09:12 PM
3

Not always true, many are usually insecure for different reasons/circumstances. Confidence can either come from others (like you described) or from ourselves as true self-confidence.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/06/22 06:38 AM
1

I think what both people, humans, want is someone who is accepting and understanding, this way they are appreciated, loved, and respected. A lot of people in general have strict or misguided values, which makes it harder for them to find something that is more universally fair and long-lasting.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/06/22 07:35 PM
0

This post is no different from those people who spew the same RP stuff.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/06/22 06:56 PM
2

Wow that was a profound interpretation, and it holds real truth. I would argue that "love" is a universal wholeness in connection we feel in our sense of self, since everything is in reference to the self and what where we allow ourselves to accept emotions for expression.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/05/22 08:00 AM
3

In another comment of yours you accepted how a "chad" became content and eliminated casual sex at their current point in life. So what are you even saying in this thread? People are emotionally content and find other means to spend their time. They're not "starved for intimacy" as you put it, or else they would have "detrimental effects to their psyche."
/r/PurplePillDebate23/05/22 04:29 AM
2

I'm still waiting for a reply from u/Im_The_Daiquiri_Man, I know he saw my comment because he fixed a spelling error in his comment afterwards.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/05/22 02:57 AM
4

To be fair though, it's not really taught in schools, forget about most parents too. Also a lot of social media has caused people to be more ego-involved with narcistic traits. They don't have time to think or give energy towards others if they are constantly in emotionally deficient states. This is a learning process, and it takes a lot of time, some sadly never realize this in a lifetime. Everything is in reference to our self-image. Edit: I imagine when people hit the infamous "wall" is when …
/r/PurplePillDebate23/05/22 12:54 AM
12

It does depending on who is in control of their body, is it actually you or are you being more controlled by the motions of life? The Controlled Orientation assesses the extent to which a person is oriented toward being controlled by rewards, deadlines, structures, ego-involvements, and the directives of others. A person high on the controlled orientation is likely to be dependent on rewards or other controls, and may be more attuned to what others demand than to what they want for themselves. I…
/r/PurplePillDebate23/05/22 12:45 AM
24

Bro regardless of the person's sex, people who are emotionally insecure will freak out from rejection. You're describing so many circumstances that already answer your question, you're missing the core principle behind why, they are either emotionally content or have healthy self-esteem where they are secure with themselves. They don't do outward comparisons with others nor base their worth on outcomes/performances; these are all esteem issues.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/05/22 12:21 AM
3

The purpose of a relationship is procreation, you can get sex without a relationship. Most people want sex for pleasure, you can get that from anyone without commitment. I would argue a lot of relationships are really just friends with benefits, but no one will call it that because "relationship" sounds more of value and better.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/05/22 07:16 PM
1

I don't focus on sex/gender, there are assholes and shitty people everywhere. And more often times than not relationships don't work out due to incompatibilities and poor communication. Focus on the future you want to be and build, not on others who we have no control over.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/05/22 08:12 PM
0

We seek to ultimately feel acknowledged and understood, there are many outlets that can fullfill the same thing, but since feelings come from within us we are the common denominator who accepts and decide those attitudes we carry in life. Romance is but one outlet that can fullfill that, and even then people can still feel lonely.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/05/22 08:18 PM
0

My comment was talking about the void OP mentioned, romance cannot fill that void alone, but I do agree with you and many others it can help though. I guess this is my personal opinion, but relationships born from needs cause problems down the road when a person is finally able to cope with themselves. Many people settle then divorce once they're back on their feet, or become complacent in a relationship. Edit: As an example, we see this happen many times with young love, or people with severe m…
/r/PurplePillDebate14/05/22 07:27 PM
-1

The void cannot be sustainably filled by others, it comes from our own self acceptance that we then share with others. If a person has a void, they should direct all that extra energy to share towards themselves first, otherwise this is what makes people become frustrated and bitter towards the opposite sex.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/05/22 06:59 PM
0

OP isn't commenting on anything, their post says 3 hours old.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/05/22 05:05 AM
0

I had to scroll down so far to see this, it just means someone who's pleasant who can provide a stable life. Though, why wouldn't this person be considered attractive? There's too many assumptions here
/r/PurplePillDebate12/05/22 06:37 AM
3

Don't take labels like this personal, they're a big picture for generalizations, when it comes to individuals how they present and carry themselves matters a whole lot more.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/05/22 06:27 PM
1

Thank you for your wisdom. I find the mental illnesses part interesting, maybe many people have used distractions and other copes to mask them, but they catch up and can turn into chronic disorders when things settle down and the partying stops.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/05/22 06:23 PM
56

Unless you find a good partner, then obviously it's not worth it. Marriage is like a business partnership, it's a binding contract, and clearly not everyone is made for business if they're not thinking about the long-term pragmatically.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/05/22 04:29 AM
1

This is the default for all human life, it is normalized, but people for some reason see a need to place unnecessary expecations/preferences on others.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/05/22 09:21 PM
1

based on today's dating trend, the onus appears to be on the girl to vet the guy better. This goes for anyone looking for a LTR regardless of sex/gender, imo this usually is based on how high a person's emotional intelligence is, or they get lucky too by chance. In which case, How do you manage to keep the body count low, apart from actively trying to not get into a casual rel? This is my take, but I don't think a person needs to have sex with someone to know if they want a LTR. Too many people …
/r/PurplePillDebate07/05/22 03:58 AM
5

To be fair OP, you'll see both men and women help someone based on the INDIVIDUAL they are talking to, not because of their supposed gender or sex. That's been my experience so far, of course there are some biases, but that imo is where these labels are misused even if they sometimes turn out okay for all involved. Edit: grammar
/r/PurplePillDebate04/05/22 09:37 PM
2

That is way too generalizing beyond any truth, and you know it.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/05/22 06:17 PM
3

Personally I would, there are other ways to be intimate and show appreciation for someone, sex isn't the only way.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/04/22 05:22 PM
1

You're 100% right, they've essentially become pickup artists to stroke their own ego, and rip off their own community. No one needs someone else to guide them in life, they need to guide themselves. Imo this is the wrong kind of empowerment, it just breeds narcissism and entitlement.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/04/22 04:17 PM
1

Eh, why should we fuel and give them any attention? It will have the opposite effect, and personally I don't want to see incels complaining everyday. Let them have their negative circle jerk energy.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/04/22 04:14 PM
65

It is "gone" in that they've moved their platform to their own website instead of using reddit.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/04/22 06:40 AM
5

Personally I don't find it gross per say, but it's usually indicative to other problems. Although none of these circumstances defines us, it does shape our outward behaviors and tendencies.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/04/22 06:28 PM
4

They're basically saying don't be anxious or insecure, be someone who knows what he wants and gets it. Some people want a confident person so they can ride on their coattails, or not be emotionally dumped on.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/04/22 05:36 PM
1

Imo that wouldn't be accepting someone, that sounds more like an esteem issue, but true it could be anything as you said. Sometimes we meet the right people, but at the wrong time, and don't realize that till the right time except in the wrong place.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/04/22 07:59 PM
1

That's understandable. The way I see it is it's like a hobby, something they do on their own. This is a bit off topic, but if it was something like being an asexual that would be a huge lifestyle incompatibility since sexuality involves both individuals.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/04/22 06:08 PM
2

There's so much more to a relationship than just sex, everyone has a body, if there's no connection beyond how much blood is tingling you down there it's not going to last. Imo there's a balance to be struct, so tact matters in the approach.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/04/22 06:51 AM
2

I was using the original poster's words. More matches does not mean quality conversations, it's like a person trying to find a romantic relationship but all they're exposed to are sexual messages.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/04/22 04:06 AM
2

A lot of people seek stability, but also sexuality is a strong influencer towards what we're attracted to. A lot of people also want meaningful connections, I imagine after many on and off relationships for some it becomes monotonous enough where they then seek a more stable partner if they weren't after that already. The only way you start a family is through stability, if a person wants to go beyond their self.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/04/22 02:23 AM
6

If a person accepts and understands you then that shouldn't be a problem I think.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/04/22 01:55 AM
-4

Unless you like shit, then good for you. The reality is a lot of people are NOT relationship material, and a lot of people have to learn the hard way of investing time into someone and breaking up just for "experience"
/r/PurplePillDebate22/04/22 01:46 AM
4

That alone doesn't make a man "high value" alone according to their theology.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/04/22 05:49 PM
1

It's totally up to the individual, I think the term "poor" is misleading, people can be full of money without living a life of vanity to attract people, like what you see on YouTube. This doesn't mean you can't buy quality and nice things in your life, like everyone else does. I know a couple people who practice stealth wealth, they live an honest and good life, and are smart to keep financial dealings out of relationships with others. Those who seek vanity I think are attention seekers, which f…
/r/PurplePillDebate19/04/22 06:48 PM
7

More appropriate? There are rare conditions and disease treatments such as radiation for cancer that cause hair loss; no one young is going to purposely wear a wig for the laughs. I had a female friend in high school wear a wig because of cancer, I don't think it's humorous at all.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/04/22 03:05 AM
2

It's only emotionally cheating, emotional infidelity, an emotional affair, whatever you want to call it, when a person's significant other's needs in a relationship are not being met or when boundaries and lack of consideration for them are being ignored. Honest and open communication solves this issue, and helps to avoid any confusion
/r/PurplePillDebate13/04/22 06:30 PM
37

Everyone wants a great friend, but no one wants to be a great friend. Let alone be a great friend to themselves.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/04/22 09:39 PM
17

Personally don't care, it's not my body, I only control my own. If I love someone then I am accepting their full expression. Edit: these kinds bodily choices are circumstancial imo.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/04/22 07:06 PM
3

If a person was only looking for a hookup, being a friend first would be seen as manipulative and waste of both people's time; I think that's where that advice comes from. If there's not mutual desire in the beginning for the attraction to grow, then they move on in that case.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/04/22 05:07 PM
1

Bro you'd be surprised, these are not extreme and pretty common place with men looking for more than just a friend.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/04/22 05:03 PM
5

Anyone who is more ego-involved will always underestimate people, they'll either have a positive reaction and simp as a result, or negatively react by wanting to start drama with you. If you take yourself out of the equation they struggle from your absence.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/04/22 06:34 PM
3

If you do 100 pushups a day you can be like one punch man, pulling in all the ladies.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/04/22 06:31 PM
2

Ah my bad, I read your original comment out of context. Maybe it's the older generation having different ideals and lifestyles, regardless of age that imo isn't okay. Kudos to you for having to deal with that.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/04/22 09:08 PM
2

Lmao, you're probably being honest here, are you aware of shrinkage? Depending on a lot of factors, a flaccid penis will change in size to protect itself depending on how much blood is flowing down there. This is why penis size is only measured when erect.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/04/22 07:09 PM
2

It's not a competition? Why does someone else's feelings make you mad
/r/PurplePillDebate08/04/22 05:20 PM
2

Lol for real. I really hate identity politics and these backwards double standards it breeds. We're all humans first.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/04/22 04:52 AM
3

N count is a distraction, it's not a fool proof determining factor in the quality a person is in the present moment. What matters more is how a person carries themselves imo
/r/PurplePillDebate06/04/22 03:01 AM
1

Keep your distance, and be firm on shutting down any inappropriate behavior. Clear and direct communication for clear and direct words/actions towards you; express your boundaries and intentions too, and report anything if they try something funny. Edit: I joined this sub, and the other relationship subreddits for the same reason. Smart people learn from their mistakes, wise people learn from others' mistakes.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/04/22 10:47 PM
11

I need to immediately go outside and touch some grass.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/04/22 05:44 AM
2

So true, so true.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/04/22 03:02 AM
6

Not surprised, we're all humans first. Our outward behaviors have such a strong influence on how our body and mind is shaped through our actions (or inactions).
/r/PurplePillDebate05/04/22 02:52 AM
6

Although it doesn't define what a man/woman can become, it does influence how a person is shaped overtime. Some people will see it as emotional baggage. I would compare this very similarly to how a lot of men are addicted to porn. All those behaviors get reinforced and strengthened the more they give in it, shaping who they are in the present moment.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/04/22 02:49 AM
1

This is really the truth, and it applies to both men and women given today's current culture and influence. Timing is everything, imo the person is irrelevant with how many people we're able to meet in this world. Both individuals have to be emotionally mature to make a romantic relationship work as one unit, a team.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/04/22 02:43 AM
7

By this same standard many men and women are not marriage ready. You're saying women will wait till they're 30 to settle down essentially with that mindset.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/04/22 02:37 AM
2

I totally agree with that, but I was referring more to the circle jerk group behaviors that spring from that type of attitude with focusing on others. Feel free to disagree with that opinion.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/04/22 11:14 PM
2

In a way it's a bit of victim mentality, perpetuating that defensiveness is holding the person back. It's like choosing to focus on what you don't have control over versus focusing on the life you want to build, the former gets a person no where.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/04/22 10:58 PM
2

I think most get plenty of attention by default, hence why fewer women simp compared to so many men that do.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/04/22 10:53 PM
1

A lot of those groups don't have pleasant people to be around. True Men/Women going their own way do not need a group, they would be beyond that level of identity since it's just a label.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/04/22 10:49 PM
5

Plenty of women agree a guy with a high N-count is unattractive too, but overall most people seem to agree it doesn't matter unless it matters to you (obviously preferences).
/r/PurplePillDebate04/04/22 12:18 AM
5

Ohhh my bad, we're on the same page. Yeah, that's completely reasonable.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/04/22 09:47 PM
2

20 LTR? What's stopping the next one from not being 21 then compared to 19,18,17 etc That's what dating is for, those early stages before anything becomes a LTR to vet and figure out if two people mesh.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/04/22 09:39 PM
7

You don't see the double standard and contradiction, really? What makes a woman with a high N-count different from your high N-count as a male?
/r/PurplePillDebate03/04/22 09:35 PM
2

True. Really anyone who has low self-worth or low self-esteem is likely to be unsure about themselves, they'll be more guided by the influences of others.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/04/22 09:30 PM
2

This sounds like it has less to do with N-count, and more about if a person does hookups or not; clear different lifestyle choices. In this case too, I think people who are serial monogamists could also be a potential red flag.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/04/22 09:26 PM
1

Resentment, at who, and for what reason? If you have a stable self and healthy self-esteem, it is possible to be okay with your current dating life. For a healthy person, how they feel for themselves is not determined by their performance nor outcomes in life, nor what they have or don't have.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/03/22 03:42 AM
1

For sure, the dating world will always be changing with the times. Nothing is ever permanent, some people will resist change while others embrace it. Right now there's a lot of entitlement in this world, with tech it has created some disconnect between values and what is actually possible/happening in reality. Everyone's reality is different as we merge and try to unify different ideals and standards on a global scale, I personally think that's what we're seeing right now between men and women a…
/r/PurplePillDebate27/03/22 11:17 PM
1

If it causes someone anger, that's an esteem issue on their part, misplaced emotional attachments that negatively affect their well-being. The dating world has been going through a lot of changes socially for a while, so my opinion are a lot of standards are misplaced if people have visceral reactions to them, this goes for both men and women.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/03/22 06:42 PM
9

Why are you saying "Apparently women lose no matter what" then? Sounds like we all "lose" because all that value is purely social, a social construct. Beauty sells, youth sells, appearing feminine is what gives a lot of value in the masses today since appearances are all we see at face value. I think a lot of this value is driven and carried by our biological drive for sexual attraction.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/03/22 09:14 PM
0

Virginity is a social construct, it really has no value than what people give it. I think the association between high N count may *possibly* hint of some lifestyle or behavior going on for some individuals. Just like how virgins may be seen as emotionally immature, these are all dangerous stereotypes if accepted at face value, but there are some associations, so it's better to not rely on labels and focus on the individual, imo.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/03/22 09:06 PM
2

You bring up some very great points, that can be applied to both men and women in how they approach vulnerability the right way per say. There's nothing wrong with expressing emotions, but how we do them when it involves another person does take some consideration. I think a few important points can be: - Express positive needs/direction in the life you want to build, instead of focusing on negative self talk to escape an issue. - Talk with sincerity, focusing on the self, instead of reacting an…
/r/PurplePillDebate22/03/22 08:42 PM
8

Yeah, obviously no one is going to go out of their way just for no reason, there's always a reason, like interacting with other people in society regardless of sex/gender.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/03/22 01:19 AM
1

Yeah, imo this all stems from the patriarchy which stripped people of their agency and autonomy because someone said a man/woman had to be a certain way.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/03/22 07:21 PM
1

If we had to blame anyone, I would assume the patriarchy? It's such a closeminded box meant to strip people of their agency and autonomy because someone said a man/woman had to be a certain way, and I would say it also created some toxic femininity if that's a thing.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/03/22 07:16 PM
1

You bring up a good point, I'm thinking though for these kinds of people they just don't know how to have a conversation online, and maybe assume the other person will keep it going to make up for it. The person who is leading and confident is the one initiating imo. People who remain passive without following up with their intentions (and assume outcomes in their head), initiated nothing really.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/03/22 07:43 PM
1

I would argue they do take responsibility, finding that one person who we not only click well with but also have the same goals and values in life to mutually desire another takes time to find. They never disparaged any gender, they said the amount of filtering they have to do is not worth it (at least for the time being). Edit: I've never used tinder, but have heard how a lot of dudes struggle and barely get matches, it's almost like it's not "worth it" to put much effort or even try those apps…
/r/PurplePillDebate17/03/22 06:43 PM
1

Amen
/r/PurplePillDebate17/03/22 06:21 AM
5

Just as you mentioned too, a lot of dudes take this "men" rhetoric too personal. These are your feelings, these are your experiences, they're real and people trying to discredit them with contempt make no sense
/r/PurplePillDebate17/03/22 05:02 AM
10

No, they said there's basically too much noise and pan handling for female attention that a lot of men will have hidden agendas and false fronts just to use them, it makes finding any real connection tiresome and not worth it. Edit: grammar
/r/PurplePillDebate17/03/22 04:26 AM
4

Do you need glasses, or did you really deny a person's conscious experience as if that were you lol. Projecting my dude
/r/PurplePillDebate14/03/22 08:11 AM
5

People want what they can't have, it's reverse psychology. Clearly in these types of situations it's one sided infatuation. A person initially got their attention, and is trying to keep it going or want more until they can get what they want. Even if they're told about the mismatch in intentions, some people will treat it as a challenge and think of themselves as an exception. Also sunk cost fallacy Can happen to both women and men.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/03/22 09:30 PM
8

How would a dude even know what their previous sex life was like? If the goal is for something more long-term and serious wouldn't you want the other person to wait a bit too?
/r/PurplePillDebate13/03/22 01:59 AM
1

It's almost like a detached job interview question honestly. Maybe some of these people who use others to gain their wealth want someone who has also done the same, or they're so transactional in thought that's the only way they now can measure someone to be "worthy" of them. They probably want an equal in terms of where they are in the material world is my guess. I've seen some of the responses these men give to different answers, it's the only thing I can think of. Imo it doesn't measure anyth…
/r/PurplePillDebate12/03/22 07:34 PM
5

Life is too short to worry about that. If that happens then there's not much to do is there, besides accept it and move on. That's why for something long-term it's important to be pragmatic in the beginning.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/03/22 07:16 PM
1

libido has a lot more to do with a person's behavior pattern, just like any habit it can be "trained" up or down. The exciting part you mentioned has more to do with sexual desire, which in some ways might have to do with age and physical attraction more.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/03/22 09:31 PM
5

Good points, my guess is this was maybe a relationship of firsts from possibly adolescents, where the social pressure to appeal to others controls A LOT of people in directing how they go about life than what they really feel/think deep down. Most of us are naive, and are still figuring out the world that young.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/03/22 09:23 PM
1

Sex appeal and actually doing it are two different things, one is for the public eye and the other is for the personal self. I'm not diminishing anything you mentioned.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/03/22 11:13 PM
2

Yeah. Personally I still think these gendered terms are a bit unrepresentative, but that's besides the point. If they help people organize others, sure
/r/PurplePillDebate09/03/22 10:49 PM
-1

This is hardly what most people think of when think of masculinity. I meant in a more general sense with someone who leads, doesn't outsource their feelings for validation in thought they choose, is independent, proactive instead of reactive, dependable, etc. Those are all signs of strength in different ways. A person in control
/r/PurplePillDebate09/03/22 10:24 PM
-1

And that "masculine culture" I think mainly stems from the patriarchy and oppression of women later on, these traditional values are old news imo that was convenient in the beginning, but no longer necessary today as we're seeing the power shift. What's considered masculine is anyone who is proactive in their life. Edit: grammar
/r/PurplePillDebate09/03/22 10:16 PM
-2

So basically sex is power and men are jealous it's being taken away from them, or something? lol I guess in a way it can act as a form of social proof, maybe a primal desirability that can be seen or felt. Edit: This isn't exactly beneficial in the long-term though, if stability is the goal.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/03/22 08:28 PM
1

More people should be pragmatic about the future for sure
/r/PurplePillDebate08/03/22 08:45 PM
2

If people don't communicate and instead assume all the time, I'd hope both people would leave. I guess it depends on the relationship, if the goal is something long-term, communication styles are important
/r/PurplePillDebate08/03/22 08:38 PM
1

You should google emotionally driven then.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/03/22 07:19 AM
21

This should be top comment. Automatically expecting the other person to pay is being entitled and a bit of a victim mentality.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/03/22 05:59 AM
10

This whoever asked the other person out imo is a bad mentality. It should be 50/50, or talked about before hand to decide if a date is worth it. If neither person wants to pay then neither should have go on the date in the first place.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/03/22 05:56 AM
1

The Controlled Orientation assesses the extent to which a person is oriented toward being controlled by rewards, deadlines, structures, ego-involvements, and the directives of others. A person high on the controlled orientation is likely to be dependent on rewards or other controls, and may be more attuned to what others demand than to what they want for themselves. In the U.S., at least, a person high in the controlled orientation is likely to place extreme importance on wealth, fame, and other…
/r/PurplePillDebate08/03/22 05:35 AM
1

Love is a choice. Simple as that, it doesn't matter what other people think, it doesn't have to make sense.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/03/22 11:33 PM
1

It can make a person feel more controlled by rewards, deadlines, and the directives of others. If you are leading your life more (this kind of relates to with purpose), and feeling fine, then there's nothing wrong with that.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/03/22 11:28 PM
1

A person's emotional intelligence would solve a lot of what you mentioned.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/03/22 10:37 PM
2

This "spark" is called infatuation, it's based more on our emotions leading and influencing what a person's feelings may be. Imo it's not reliable, and could lead to settling and feeling controlled if a person remains passive with their emotions like this. If we were to lead more with our feelings (possible with a strong sense of self) then we would have greater control over our emotional states. This is one reason why I believe love is a choice in its purest sense if people were able to keep th…
/r/PurplePillDebate07/03/22 10:31 PM
2

Some of what you said contradicts your points. What is this "value" they need to add on when you followed it with a physical league example, yet say those: "physical leagues and objective ratings systems or whatever....it still doesn't matter." Personally, I would take this a step further, and instead of saying an "add on" they could be a complement to your own life, someone you choose not out of need, but mutual desire and choice. Love is a choice, something you build with someone. Infatuation …
/r/PurplePillDebate07/03/22 10:23 PM
1

Eh, I completely disagree. Love is a choice especially for those who are secure with themselves. We choose that one out of all the other ones. People who have a strong sense of self will lead more with the feelings they proactively choose, than passively be led by the motions of life.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/03/22 05:25 AM
1

Alright, I do wish everything works out the best for you. Feelings come from within us, and are not given by others, that is our power.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/03/22 11:03 PM
2

I think you have it backwards a bit, if your romantic partner does not value you, they are likely not secure. Secure people will see relationships more as a complement to each others' lives, and for that reason are able to go deeper together not from need nor dependency, but from strength in the mutual understanding they share. Edit: If they are "secure" and yet still don't value you, they have likely settled or are using you transactionally as a tool, which is insecurity that stems from masking…
/r/PurplePillDebate01/03/22 10:52 PM
0

You had me in everything until the last part. Being secure is not a positive? Insecurity is a positive? I'm hoping you're just trolling or something, there's no person that would wish this on someone they care about
/r/PurplePillDebate01/03/22 10:20 PM
2

Fair point, I know this is a bit pedantic or obvious, but imo you still got to be careful with younger people because there are life experiences and issues that may be postponed that haven't been dealt with, and it could ultimately lead to the other person settling if they change their values and lifestyle choices once they figure themselves out a bit more; so always be cautious and careful. I think it's a bit rare to find someone who has their whole identity and life figured out in life in thei…
/r/PurplePillDebate01/03/22 08:42 PM
-3

Bro this is highly generalized and superficial, focusing on circumstances than a person's character (which is more important for something long lasting). Are you a virgin too dude? If you already gave away your first experiences you can't really be talking about this. It makes a person sound entitled as heck Age doesn't guarantee anything, just don't get into a relationship with someone negative, simple.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/03/22 06:25 PM
2

Maturity is not guaranteed with age, tons of adults and older folk who are immature. Just an aside I don't agree with the person above you either. If a person keeps changing their lifestyles and values they should probably spend some time alone to figure themselves out before entering something more serious, and long-term. Settling happens when people aren't pragmatic for the long-term, they either changed or compromised on different values and lifestyles with someone different out of a scarcity…
/r/PurplePillDebate01/03/22 06:20 PM
14

This is some virtue signaling, in reality both men and women can equally suffer from low self-esteem. This is why many stereotypical virgins struggle, plenty of males and females in that department. Healthy self-worth is a human trait, not so generalized as something sex specific as you portray it, many men and women can have low self-worth or high self-worth.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/03/22 07:45 AM
22

"have access to more higher quality women" This is some woo-woo stuff you're preaching. Money, regardless of sex, does not equate to a "higher quality" person. Some people who are immensely fortunate or talented are some of the worst people to be around. This is a logical fallacy. Emotional intelligence is a much better marker of success and overall quality of life for a person, or "higher quality" as you put it.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/02/22 08:05 AM
11

For real, people who bring others down to make themselves feel better is low self-esteem. Alternatively, these same people will feel jealously and resentment towards those who they perceive to be above them. I was talking about both men and women, and I think what you said too also applies to both. People who hold onto a scarcity mindset will try to control others' behaviors to mask their low self-esteem. This inflated, pompous attitude creates entitlement and narcissism when they falsely mistak…
/r/seduction27/02/22 07:21 PM
11

Why is this world becoming so pessimistic now? It sounds like people are projecting their own insecurities, reflecting their own self-image issues, onto others when they talk like this.
/r/seduction27/02/22 07:03 PM
3

A lot of people are being too critical on others they have no control over, while not applying that same energy to themselves.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/02/22 06:43 PM
2

Really this applies to the increase in digital media consumption. It's an addiction epidemic that is rewiring our brains and desensitizing many people from reality.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/02/22 08:12 AM
1

Fair enough for your post. But what you just said about women (really humans in general) does have to do with emotions, physiological bodily reactions.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/02/22 04:04 AM
2

Apply it to both sexes, not everyone is able to self-actualize their true selves to such a degree consistently.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/02/22 03:57 AM
1

Your definition of discipline is a bit skewed, having discipline basically means we are using more of our ego (an evolved trait related to feelings) to uphold a routine no matter how our body may react, emotionally (relating to physiology). Feelings are a tool since our perceived perception has a huge influence on our physiology, what we perceive doesn't even have to be real to cause us to change what we may emotionally be expericing in our body to take action. This takes quite a bit of emotiona…
/r/PurplePillDebate17/02/22 03:44 AM
1

Yeah people who want to cause trouble will try to cross boundaries, regardless of their dating status too.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/02/22 05:39 AM
1

Problem solved if you just tell the single person you have a bf. A normal person won't care, and those who were shooting their shot will go away.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/02/22 05:33 AM
3

In some places if you cohabit the same residence with someone that can count, regardless. If you're worried about money and assets, have a well drafted prenup and actually keep it separate from the relationship. If you don't like the idea of sharing a life you're building with someone, be smarter and pragmatic about your long-term relationship prospects you choose.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/02/22 06:44 AM
1

No problem bro! When you get those epiphanies of sudden realizations, it's an amazing feeling for things to be so clear and click, giving us a deeper understanding of ourselves. Spirituality and psychology have given me a lot to reflect more of the core principals (or objective reality) many people today are disconnected from. Circumstances do not determine how we feel, we do, more specifically it is our judgements on those actions and not the actions themselves; with time we will master this po…
/r/PurplePillDebate12/02/22 05:54 PM
1

Anything regarding feelings is ultimately decided by you as a person, since feelings are our conscious experience of our emotional reactions, it comes from within and is not given by anyone. A lot of people outsource this power they have, to others and objects of dependence, which isn't exactly stable for ourselves nor sustainable in the long run. This is why many people feel bored or fall out of love, imo it's usually a reflection of how they feel about themselves than the other person. A lot o…
/r/PurplePillDebate11/02/22 08:16 PM
10

This may be an unpopular opinion, but anything regarding feelings is ultimately decided by you as a person, since feelings are our conscious experience of our emotional reactions, it comes from within and is not given by anyone. A lot of people outsource this power they have, to others and objects of dependence, which isn't exactly stable for ourselves nor sustainable in the long run. This is why many people feel bored or fall out of love, imo it's usually a reflection of how they feel about the…
/r/PurplePillDebate11/02/22 07:58 PM
2

Moot point. You can't compare either side's struggles logically.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/02/22 05:06 AM
1

It's near impossible to compare human struggles, when we all eventually end up in the same place one day. It's all mostly based on emotion, not logic, hence it's illogical to even possibly compare. Edit: That still doesn't dismiss the struggles both sides may have, to each person they are real and valid, no matter how misguided or specific they may be.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/02/22 04:31 AM
7

Those who are more reactionary or care a lot about labels I think fit your title perfectly. Yes, what you listed for both sides are real realities happening, but people forget we're all humans first and foremost. Each person will have different conscious experiences to emotional reactions caused by these circumstances, I think it's laughable how some people try to pin one narrative onto different labels when it's entirely dependent on each individual. Focusing on an "us vs them" mentality create…
/r/PurplePillDebate09/02/22 04:24 AM
1

That's if we survive and there's a planet left \s)
/r/PurplePillDebate07/02/22 08:56 PM
1

It's a real concern, maybe not as much today with all the technology, information, and standards; but I guess we'll find out if there are more centenarians in this century.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/02/22 08:16 PM
1

I'm pretty sure most people in their 20s wouldn't find someone 30+ attractive either haha, at least when considering the plethora of single people at their current age to go for first. Those are all real points you mentioned, it's a possible indication for something not being right in a person, more often than not I think. Do men have a biological clock? This may sound weird, but my father was in his 50s when they finally decided to have kids (20+ year marriage at the time). I know reproductive …
/r/PurplePillDebate07/02/22 04:50 PM
1

This whole conversation has been so pedantic... where did I argue "living in the moment" to postpone stability/comfort? I offered a discussion piece saying maybe those who are more emotionally swayed (regardless of gender) by others to determine how they feel struggle with long-term familiarity. No. I was arguing the desire. Okay, and there are a number of men too who wish to skip the dating process to be in a stable relationship too. How is this a female only rhetoric?
/r/PurplePillDebate06/02/22 11:47 PM
1

I don't think living in the moment is tailored to neither male or female sentiment, yet you're claiming it's a male one. On that same note, you were arguing skipping the first two years is some how a female sentiment. It doesn't make sense when no one can fast forward time, if anyone had that power they would wish it too, but all humans have to be pragmatic for anything long-term. Edit: I'm going to reiterate this: If you don't feel appreciated, respected, and valued in the beginning, then the r…
/r/PurplePillDebate06/02/22 11:35 PM
1

I was arguing there is no root difference, the general experiences a person has, regardless of their sex, are more common place among both sides since we're human. I was arguing about . . . So why would you try to convince ME That's the literally definition of what a debate is in this subreddit. And the approach I chose was to show how there are a number of males too who share the sentiments as some females too. It's not so black and white, there are a number of women and men out there who are m…
/r/PurplePillDebate06/02/22 11:00 PM
1

For me personally I like routine and consistency, but yeah maybe those who are more swayed by emotions of others to determine how they feel struggle with long-term familiarity, they mistake comfortableness as a dead end for some reason. why are you trying to convince me to like the parts you like by using male preferences as an argument I'm not? Objective reality doesn't care about all these social constructs revolving around sex and gender, we're all humans first and foremost, we're more simila…
/r/PurplePillDebate06/02/22 10:32 PM
2

I guess it depends what each person values, because some people give more or less right away. So depending on what your values are, it may be too idealistic or something that your mind isn't allowing you to have yet. End goals aren't achieved in one action, it's usually the gradual process overtime of many actions that marks the eventual end of one goal. A LTR is simply a goal, an end to a means, but we only live and experience the present moment along the way, moment-to-moment. If you don't fee…
/r/PurplePillDebate06/02/22 09:57 PM
7

Not acceptable to do? It's totally acceptable. I think the reason behind the huge disconnect among many men is they do not get the same experiences from the opposite sex that is readily available to many women at such a young age. Many men imo are then more focused on the past on what they've missed out on, while many women get more attention to be more future oriented. On a separate note, it seems many women who want children too are biologically pressured more to find a suitable partner (if th…
/r/PurplePillDebate06/02/22 09:13 PM
2

I think it's possible, but may only happen once we all become robots lol.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/02/22 09:02 PM
1

It's a bit semantic, but I would consider that the same as dating, fair game.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/01/22 07:06 PM
2

This is trippy, you commented on this old comment right when I made a new one talking about the same phenomenon today
/r/PurplePillDebate25/01/22 08:59 AM
25

Def has to do with attachment style and their level of emotional intelligence, and possibly the hedonic treadmill effect: The hedonic treadmill is a metaphor for the human tendency to pursue one pleasure after another. It is the observed tendency of humans to quickly return to a relatively stable level of happiness despite major positive or negative events or life changes. A lot of people will mistake this comfort and familiarity as something wrong, and take it for granted if they don't always f…
/r/PurplePillDebate25/01/22 07:04 AM
2

Totally understandable, that's life for yeah. I think with time as we grow more as individuals we can develop a stronger sense of self that can differentiate our emotions and connections with others that is more consistent.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/01/22 11:24 PM
3

I would imagine the majority of women do not see their friends as viable sexual interests, where's the integrity of honoring a friendship, which is strictly platonic. Personally I think it's kind of backwards and a double standard to think of friends in this manner of something more.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/01/22 10:07 PM
7

We should really be more direct, or go after people who are also looking to date right now. That's what dating is for, to get to know someone and see if you two are compatible, and want the same things from life before being exclusive in a romantic relationship.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/01/22 10:02 PM
10

Imo it's still pretty naïve to think a close friendship can grow into something more romantic, the only difference between your definition and this are both reciprocating instead of one person developing feelings.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/01/22 10:00 PM
0

Is this really new news, for both sexes? People should not go into friendships expecting it to change; if a person is looking to date someone right now they really should go after people who are also looking to date right now too. Otherwise it's not a surprise as you mentioned people getting friend zoned. I've seen this happen to both men and women, the only difference are men are more likely to be opportunistic than women socially speaking. Makes sense why we hear about it more often with women…
/r/PurplePillDebate24/01/22 09:51 PM
12

I think this post is more specifically targeting people (both men and women) who have low emotional intelligence. People who have good self-esteem don't live transactional lives, only people who feel controlled by external rewards act this way.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/01/22 08:55 PM
4

Eh, there is an increasing amount of men who are the primary caregiver, or where both parents share equal responsibility. It's not solely the woman's job to take care of children.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/01/22 01:58 AM
1

Exactly, what we see on instagram, really any social media site, are people marketing themselves, it's highly filtered/curated content, and those who are naïve will believe this to be "normal" or typical, when it's really not. What we see are very small, controlled snapshots of a persons life though even smaller screens.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/01/22 08:16 PM
2

I have seen similar advice too as what you mentioned, I think that's a good approach, it does speak volumes on a person's current character. Hope more people see your comment
/r/PurplePillDebate20/01/22 02:24 AM
–

People change in life, regardless of sex/gender, humans change in life. Maybe this idea is a bit too progressive lol. I'm not discrediting that our past behavior can be used as predictors on our future ones, just being absolute imo is overgeneralizing things a bit, but people are entitled to their own preferences and opinions of course though.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/01/22 02:21 AM
2

Fair points and that makes sense. I also think the way a person texts is imporant, we spend so much time online nowadays to connect in meaningful ways. Though many will still argue in-person chemistry is far more imporant especially in the context of something more romantic, which is why many suggest meeting up for a date no later than a week from the first interaction.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/01/22 01:37 AM
0

I imagine it usually has to do with intentions you both set? If you're dating someone that means you're trying to get to know them better to see if you two are compatible for something romantic or more than friends. Regardless of gender, you could go out on a "date" with friends, hangout with each other and enjoy life with no intention of something romantic (and sexual for that matter).
/r/seduction20/01/22 12:58 AM
–

How many times do you have to go through that to commit though? If this is common for you it sounds like it's not really a good measure.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/01/22 12:52 AM
–

I feel like everyone is thinking way too hard on this, neither outlook is absolute in what is considered right or wrong, especially since this is all based on personal preference, meaning, opinions.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/01/22 12:51 AM
3

When something starts to become a distraction that acts as a coping mechanism from our issues, that's when it becomes unhealthy and all consuming. Usually postpones the real growth we may be seeking at that point. Sometimes we have to learn the hard way to realize this though, and once we've had enough we can face those issues head on!
/r/seduction16/01/22 04:30 AM
1

I'm pretty sure a lot of people can sense if someone is being needy and depends on others to determine how they feel
/r/seduction15/01/22 05:55 PM
2

No, granted I personally don't have any from not dating, how we feel is only determined by us. If we continue to give our power away for others to decide that's called having a controlled orientation, and it's a sure fire way to feel miserable since it's so easy to blame others with words instead of taking accountability into our own hands going forward.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/01/22 06:18 AM
–

This, I use it as a tool to have more energy, there's nothing wrong with masturbation or sex though. My personal anecdotal reasoning for choosing this is that most animals after releasing tend to be more tired and withdrawn due to such a high, I kind of want to avoid that. I used to watch porn too, and this gave me a reason to stop that as well
/r/PurplePillDebate10/01/22 09:09 PM
2

You seem well rounded
/r/PurplePillDebate09/01/22 03:52 PM
5

What's your opinion on r/Semenretention?
/r/PurplePillDebate09/01/22 03:50 PM
1

Men will feel uncomfortable depending on the integrity they have in their actions, some will feel uncomfortable and distance themselves while others will take advantage to try and flirt. As for why some women do or don't do it, I think they could either be ambiguous, or to get something and/or flaunt for attention.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/01/22 01:33 AM
6

Same, it all communicates the same outcome. If a person has to ghost then there were probably red flags already showing in maturity they're dealing with.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/01/22 09:12 PM
3

Wow, an actual genuine and serious response. Seriously regardless of sex and genders we're all more similar than different. We all want the same things, they just may be expressed a bit differently from person to person.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/01/22 09:34 AM
6

This is terrible advice if you're being serious
/r/PurplePillDebate04/01/22 06:43 AM
9

Why do I care? This is a discussion, not sure what you mean.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/01/22 05:22 AM
5

What I said applies to both men and women, just in the original comment they were focusing more on women.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/01/22 05:16 AM
11

This sounds like denial. People who rely heavily on external stimuli like others to determine how they feel eventually crash if they don't accept reality to grow from it. If a person can't be content with just themselves then no one will ever be able to satisfy them.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/01/22 04:54 AM
23

Real translation: don't confuse the confidence others bring you as your own false self-confidence to mask low self-esteem. When people do this they become entitled then get depressed later when their support systems start breaking down.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/01/22 04:08 AM
4

Gosh anyone who takes these "discussions" seriously should find a better source of entertainment, that's all it is.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/01/22 03:39 AM
2

It's satire, this is a picture of a men's fashion modeling magazine cover from 2015 lmao. source: here
/r/PurplePillDebate03/01/22 05:38 AM
1

I don't see that as a bad thing lol Edit: call it a necessary "evil" if you will, change needed to happen, this is natural, things will eventually find equilibrium of some form.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/01/22 05:17 PM
1

Most people I think don't have that high level of emotional intelligence, or a good support system in place to think the same as you. Even if someone were to meet the same person you did, their experience will likely differ depending on their level of self-understanding. As far as your generalization, it doesn’t work because generalizations need to apply to an overwhelming majority So you're saying most people are content being happy on their own, and are fine dying alone despite moments of long…
/r/PurplePillDebate02/01/22 03:12 AM
0

That's a lot of text to unload, not sure if you could have said the same thing more succinctly with less, but I'll read through it. Right off the bat, I already said I was overgeneralizing, of course not all women/men (humans) are going to be part of the generalization. If it doesn't fit you specifically great, it doesn't concern you imo. If I never met him, I’d be satisfied dying alone even with moments of loneliness or longing for companionship. That's a contradiction, and I would argue still …
/r/PurplePillDebate02/01/22 02:52 AM
34

I'm overgeneralizing, it's almost like women get too much validation which increases their standards while looking for the next best thing, and men don't get enough which causes them to lower their standards while also looking for the next best thing. Regardless of the sex, I think both experience the hedonic treadmill effect, which "is the observed tendency of humans to quickly return to a relatively stable level of happiness despite major positive or negative events or life changes." I think t…
/r/PurplePillDebate02/01/22 01:18 AM
1

I think for both it's about how secure a person feels more than looks, it's just a lot of people assume outward appearances tell the whole store or else they couldn't look the way they were without it, but of course reality is different. A lot of people are going to assume someone who's not as attractive (whatever marker that may be) may have some kind of issue or reason for acting/looking a certain way. But when you understand and put down those barriers, a lot of people are just typical indivi…
/r/PurplePillDebate01/01/22 11:03 PM
0

This is kind of a silly question, but if I had choose I would choose respect only for myself. What other people think shouldn't matter, we can't control what others decide for themselves, only ourselves
/r/PurplePillDebate01/01/22 05:26 PM
2

Low key you look like my highschool math teacher Edit: He was a dope and great person.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/01/22 01:18 AM
7

Including them in the conversation is important as you mentioned, nerding out to show off our knowledge or prove something doesn't really do it for most people unless they asked.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/12/21 01:17 AM
5

Exactly this, I don't know why more people can't be honest with themselves.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/12/21 04:11 AM
-1

You're "missing" nothing, and doing upwards social comparisons like this is going to hurt you in the long run and strain relationships with those you care about (like your brother). This is an esteem issue. This is definitely "grass is green syndrome," and FOMO.
/r/seduction23/12/21 03:17 AM
0

The Myers Briggs Personality types are more hokey pokey for fun. Big five does a much better job explaining it. We all extrovert to an extent, that's life in how we take action. And shyness is very similar to anxiety, both of which can happen to anyone.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/12/21 02:28 AM
2

I'm a virgin, and have never dated yet too, I do not feel like a slave to any instincts regarding procreation or social constructs. Just some background knowledge I used to watch porn, and was naive about a lot in how I led my life. I've reflected a lot in the past two years on my journey for better self understanding, ever since after highschool I have never truly felt lonely (there's literally billions of us out there going through the same motions and changes). They say smart people learn fro…
/r/PurplePillDebate22/12/21 05:16 AM
1

You're not going to see the successful relationships on those sites complaining, let alone complaining on the internet.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/12/21 08:50 PM
2

And this is how you know if they settled or decide to cheat.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/12/21 12:25 PM
1

People who lead with their egos are controlled by those same impulses and lack of self-control, if they do have self-control it is masked and out to do harm living a transactional life. These people don't sound genuine, maybe not entirely a red flag if they're just friends, but anything more sounds fishy.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/12/21 12:23 PM
1

My bad, I see my confusion, disregard my previous comment.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/07/21 05:43 PM
1

This thread is only talking about men, of course it happens to women too, no one didn't say that.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/07/21 05:37 PM
1

I don't think that's a great example that translates to real life, they most likely got the car for 0k because someone else paid the 30k for them as a gift, details in the circumstances here matter. Well of course, purely being romantic just for sex is playing yourself in the long run.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/07/21 06:15 PM
2

Since this is a hypothetical situation, if [A] is a mature person who understands the value in open communication and solving issues with discussions as a team, [A] would definitely be open and can develop a high sex drive. Now, applying this to real life, this is still possible, but it then becomes a difference in current lifestyle choices and ideals a person carries.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/07/21 06:10 PM
1

I think there's some faulty reasonings here, which may speak more to your own personal self than be a general norm. Why would a person feel like a chump, why would a person let themselves be jealous? This all sounds like projection. If a person is only getting romantic for sexual reasons, THAT is were their line of thinking is fundamentally flawed, and it's the only reason why it would make a person look like a fool to act romantic purely for sex.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/07/21 06:05 PM
3

therefore enticing the man into thinking she will make a quality spouse. So it seems you automatically imagine a fault by creating one when you can't find one? Your word choices indicate this out of disbelief for the following reason you provided after, but they do exist? Everything you speak of is talked in absolutes, that's not real life. The bottom line is: there is no room for trust in relationships any more. This seems like there is plenty of room for more personal growth.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/07/21 06:00 PM
1

You're still technically saying you need validation and mask it by saying it's your choice. Seeking validation is still seeking validation no matter the form. It kind of sounds like one without sex would be a wreck without it, but that's not always the case.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/07/21 05:49 PM
2

It kind of makes me wonder, is this all a person has for excitement in their life when they indulge in biological processes regarding procreation? It's a strong desire as a species after all.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/07/21 05:43 PM
1

A lot of people don't realize libido, a.k.a. sexual desire, is largely behavioral based and than hormonal. So either a person can go masturbate without porn if they truly had a high libido, or limit their frequency, and naturally their body will adjust if they make the proper lifestyle arrangements to support that kind of environment.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/07/21 05:40 PM
2

If the man is an asexual they've kind of hit the jackpot with [A], don't you think? An important indication to notice is that the behavior seen consistently in the beginning (without any bullshit tricks/lies) is usually a good predictor of future behavior. Although this person sounds like they have a low libido, what a lot of people don't realize is that libido can change, and that behavioral, not hormonal, variables are strongly linked to differences in sexual desire among people(source). This …
/r/PurplePillDebate16/07/21 05:30 PM
1

Those "wall" qualities for men are the same for women too though. What you listed are almost musts towards being a mature person.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/07/21 07:03 PM
2

Don't forget daily exercise! You've nailed the basic bodily needs to maintain stable energy levels. A consistent, quality sleep schedule, good nutrition, daily exercise and hydration.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/07/21 07:02 PM
–

shitty people are shitty people, let's just go with that.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/06/21 11:56 PM
2

No problem, keep in mind progress and growth are non-linear, but as long as you continue to learn and understand yourself more you'll always be moving forward no matter what.
/r/seduction26/06/21 04:12 AM
3

This was literally me, and I would do too much PMO frequently (not anymore thankfully!). I was super naïve and depended too much on my environment and others to define how I felt and who I was as a person, also shy and placed women on a pedestal back then. The power to feel should be yours alone, because when you place others' expecations above your own you're a nobody at the mercy of your environment, controlled with zero confidence. I'm still a virgin because I don't want to have sex with anyo…
/r/seduction26/06/21 01:59 AM
11

I'm not saying all virgins are like this, but a lot seem to be immature and lacking in areas of their life in terms of growth. Be it insecurities, poor esteem management, socially inept, etc.
/r/seduction25/06/21 06:56 PM
1

Well considering the average number most people lose their virginity is 18 in the US, both among men and women is going to be fewer onwards
/r/seduction25/06/21 06:54 PM
2

That's not his number, he was giving an example of what most people would consider to be a high number that didn't predict anything.
/r/seduction25/06/21 06:51 PM
2

THIS
/r/seduction25/06/21 06:49 PM
20

I feel like body count is just a preface for potential behavioral characteristics, but there are far better determining factors as you described, like how loyal and attractive a person is towards you (e.g., treating you like a king). Body counts don't really mean anything if they choose and are with you. Any bad or undesirable attitudes are multifaceted, they aren't specific solely to any circumstances since everyone will react differently in the same environment.
/r/seduction25/06/21 06:47 PM
2

men frequently improve a woman's lifestyle, while women frequently destroy a mans This is way too generalized to be true. A lot of people I think simp because they lack meaningful interactions with others. They place a lot of value in other people because they don't have enough of it themselves, and possibly depend on others too much for their own happiness instead of directing that energy towards themselves.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/06/21 12:46 AM
1

It has real value and impact on a lot of people's lives. Never said it didn't, money is power.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/06/21 05:10 PM
2

We live in a consumer-driven economy, a lot of capitalistic values try to sell us an idea we can feel or become. Billions of dollars go into marketing to get us to think a certain way. That may be a bit besides the point, but there are a lot of social institutions at play when it comes to what values we're taught growing up.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/06/21 04:57 AM
9

I wouldn't say 100%, but I agree a large influence for attraction stems from behavioral variables that we're conditioned to believe is attractive. On a separate similar note, take money for example, it's all pseudo paper yet as a collective we have given it significant perceived value and associate money now with a lot of innate psychological sensations like food, safety, warmth, and security.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/06/21 02:28 AM
1

If you both have to ask that y'all both probably shouldn't be dating
/r/seduction18/06/21 06:20 PM
–

Watching porn while having sex with a woman would likely be extremely upsetting to most woman, similar to the way suggesting using a toy in bed upsets some men. This is very true, and it may be a sign that sexuality may serve different purposes for men and women.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/06/21 09:34 PM
–

What you kind of mentioned can be applied to both sexes, the frequency of masturbation can show that the person has a higher tendency for solitary sexual desire than for dyadic desire. Basically women who masturbate often not only prefer to masturbate alone, but have more positive attitudes towards it than men do. People who masturbate too often, regardless of what tools they use, are likely to experience more sexual urges and, in women only, have more positive attitudes toward solo play. Edit: …
/r/PurplePillDebate17/06/21 09:26 PM
4

Not at all to me.. I prefer young and as inexperienced as possible. Lmao such a double standard, a number of people men seem to hold similar beliefs, yet when applied to themselves it's somehow an exception, for both sexes.
/r/seduction16/06/21 03:47 AM
2

I'm just curious, what's your opinion on women who get a lot of sex. Are they desirable in relationships?
/r/seduction16/06/21 03:42 AM
5

True, it's more of a catch-all term, but the different models and frameworks for each of them that try to define EQ have great points on what makes a person competent in handling the complexities of emotions, in both the self and interactions of others. I think it pretty much boils down knowing how to be a great leader and a good follower. Edit: grammar
/r/PurplePillDebate15/06/21 04:42 AM
6

All your bullet points can pretty much be tied together as: wanting the same lifestyles and goals in life. I would also added: Compatibility High emotional intelligence It's okay to have differences in interests as long as you both genuinely love each other for who the person is, compatibility is probably the most important determining factor for a successful relationship. It means you both get along and work well together, enjoy each others' company and have a good time. Emotional intelligence …
/r/PurplePillDebate15/06/21 03:37 AM
2

I agree. Communication and trust are the foundation for any relationship, that would be an immediate red flag. That makes sense, and it's cool to hear, he sounds like a genuine guy! People can still tease or get intiment, there are lots of ways to show interest. To go all in early on with a person they barely know kind of goes against most long-term strategies if a serious romantic relationship is the goal.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/06/21 03:41 AM
1

Personally, this is why I don't think N count really matters (though it can determine a lot about a person's lifestyle and behaviors), what matters is how the person carries themselves right now in the present moment and if they can be consistent about it. Someone who is being honest will pass with flying colors (usually) because they are presenting their true self very easily. While those who put up a false front will likely slip up or lose interest when tested in the long run. That's what dati…
/r/PurplePillDebate11/06/21 03:24 AM
1

Weird as in someone who obsesses over labels to define who they are, other people will hold varying perspectives and definitions for each label. It's better to show and say something than restrict yourself to predefined labels.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/06/21 10:44 PM
2

All it takes is one person, they don't have to attract the whole corral.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/06/21 10:08 PM
4

That mod seems very weird, they were defiantly on some high when they wrote that. I have mixed feelings on hookup culture.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/06/21 10:02 PM
2

That sounds like a good long-term strategy for men when they're ready to settle and find the one.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/06/21 09:58 PM
2

From what I've seen most women on FDS do not do that, not sure where you saw it. Women are being told to wait about 3 months before sex, I think that's a fairly good number. You can still be flirty and show interest in other ways, doesn't have to be PIV.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/06/21 09:07 PM
2

That's not too bad, that's pretty comfortable for basic needs with some room. I think that's considered a bit higher than lower middle class income, at least here in the US.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/06/21 09:03 PM
6

That sounds like a chill good time.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/06/21 08:50 PM
3

Bruh, making time for family is easy. That sounds like attachment issues if a person isn't able to.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/06/21 08:47 PM
1

I'm curious, how much is consider the low end of top 35% of male earners? Lifestyle choices greatly influence how much a person can be happy and how much they need to maintain it.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/06/21 08:43 PM
-1

I can understand waiting a few months for sex, in a LTR it's about vetting people early and then planning for the long-term more than the short-term pleasures. More people should actually do this.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/06/21 08:37 PM
2

I can't understand anyone who chooses to risk giving themselves to someone they barely just met, if they were truly looking for a LTR they would understand there's a risk of getting sexuality mixed up for feelings of love. A mark of maturity is when a person is able to have great inner strength and can plan for more than just the present moment.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/06/21 07:49 PM
7

Why don't we hold men to the same standards then? Don't date these scrotes who only care about sex and short-term pleasures, who jump from relationship to relationship, devoting more time to getting sex and playing women than on themselves. It's a red flag when someone is a serial dater or serial monogamist, right? They're not comfortable being alone, still have issues and add new ones on without giving them the proper attention to mature and grow from. Some men also apply this same standard to …
/r/PurplePillDebate10/06/21 07:34 PM
1

I don't think it's confusing. It shows a bit in where a person is with their maturity and past lifestyles. In most cases it sounds like these people were dating casually and just wanting to hookup, be given experiences while tagging along with another person. This in most cases would show a person to be a serial dater or serial monogamist. Often times they are not comfortable being alone, still have and add new issues they haven't fully given enough attention to; they devoted more time to other …
/r/PurplePillDebate10/06/21 07:25 PM
0

That actually makes sense. Can I flip the script and ask, what does it mean if a guy makes a woman wait for sex? Is he going to get dumped for not being "easy"
/r/PurplePillDebate10/06/21 07:12 PM
4

I 100% believe that's not the only way to get rid of FOMO. A lot of people do however, like you said, need to drop their naivety and the expectations of others. They need to explore these ideas by choice and not operate out of fear by their environment, set their own standards and expecations, and mature.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/06/21 07:03 PM
7

These types of questions aren't productive, exactly. They're so biased and lazy, why can't OP let people create their own answer instead of making it multiple choice.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/06/21 06:57 PM
3

It's a combination of lack of practice and emotional intelligence, which aids in good communication skills, I think. Also low self-worth which may be caused by mental illnesses and low energy.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/06/21 06:53 PM
2

Oh no I do! And I'm glad you pointed it out for others who see your comment. The past couple months I have realized how capitalism tells us we need to be more productive and make more to be happy in life, when for most people just fulfilling basic needs along with having the ability to experience life is enough. They make it so we have to keep working and spending, selling us the idea we need this to feel x, or we can become this with x, when the power to feel was always us and ours alone to beg…
/r/PurplePillDebate10/06/21 05:33 PM
3

Settling down early and then having to deal with people who think and question that they've "missed out"? That sounds like a huge waste of time, many people change because of the environment around them, if they haven't experienced all this yet and matured, they're going to fall out of love because they don't even know themselves.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/06/21 07:25 AM
9

Damn dude, that's actually a startling realization. Our human brains were not ready for all this modern tech. Instant, easy gratification takes the novelty out of life and many of us don't even have basic self-control down or the proper guidance to avoid many pitfalls and traps. I pity the younger generations who are being born with smart devices all around them. Childhood is a time for exploration and creating cognitive schemas about the real world. How is this going to affect their psyche with…
/r/PurplePillDebate10/06/21 07:06 AM
6

I think single dads get similar treatment (though that's my assumption) Who wants to deal with a past ex and marriage who is likely still in the picture. There's a chance the kids are not going to accept or like you, many missed opportunities to know what it's like to fall in love and decide to bring a new life in the world. While you could have a new child, it gets complicated between blood relations and step relationships.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/06/21 06:48 AM
1

This, also planning for more than just the present moment.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/05/21 03:24 AM
-1

You have an awesome view, and I hope more men and women adopt this attitude. Relationships should not be seen as transactional of course, sadly I think this is a by-product of online dating, many people get stuck in that narrow mindset of swipes, a zero or one with nothing inbetween.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/05/21 04:20 AM
2

u/Aubrey_D_Graham, You're overcomplicating things dude, what you want is no one's business. None of these things matter when a relationship is between two people, what others think should be thrown out the window, if you're trying to seek validation or prove something you're wasting your time on reddit.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/05/21 01:10 AM
6

This is the most level-headed response by far, I think a lot of the other responses are too extreme picking a niche what-if scenario. How does anyone know if a person is at their worst or best, they don't as you said. Another thing that has been hugely missed that you did mention is the amount of pressure women have to find a partner, there's literally a ticking clock on fertility, us men have the luxury in time to decide if we want children or to commit to someone long term to start a family. W…
/r/PurplePillDebate30/04/21 12:29 AM
2

I think narcissists attract narcissists, which is a good thing so they don't bother regular people.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/04/21 06:03 AM
3

I 100% believe most of what you're saying, as things become more equal and standard of living is becoming better, money and wealth is circulating more than ever, and ultimately is just a tool anyone can get, it is a short lived motivator in life. Interesting you brought up the dark triad personality traits, if a man is able to give his all to benefit himself and share even a bit with a girl, that would usually involve those traits with a disregard to others, there's nothing more sexy than having…
/r/PurplePillDebate28/04/21 05:23 AM
9

Not so true, this is most likely the end of hypergamy, Source: The End of Hypergamy: Global Trends and Implications
/r/PurplePillDebate28/04/21 04:32 AM
1

I mean, we are allowed to? Look at all the memes and bashing we do on those people who have height "requirements." I don't really think this is a gendered thing. People will have preferences and people should understand that.
/r/MensRights22/04/21 06:20 PM
0

What's so embarrassing about it, please elaborate.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/04/21 04:19 PM
1

If it helps you chase that's good, if you have room to grow you can then use that extra energy on other aspects of your life!
/r/PurplePillDebate12/04/21 03:49 AM
1

Same, only difference for me is I have a normal libido. I use that sexual tension as an opportunity to grow and be productive now :)
/r/PurplePillDebate12/04/21 03:47 AM
0

r/Semenretention, it's the way to go as a tool for us men, it helps us find our purpose in life. We need to stop letting unnecessary masturbation and porn influence/change what we value and want to protect in our life.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/04/21 03:45 AM
0

I think two great ways to solve both issues for your flair (male thirst and female hypergamy) are providing tools that allow these people to find their true purpose. I'm just using reddit as an example, but for females FDS (Female dating strategy) is a great place for that. For males, NoFap and Semen Retention. Both are tools, and nothing more at their core.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/04/21 03:42 AM
1

Really any mindfulness-based practice, amazing stuff!
/r/PurplePillDebate12/04/21 03:39 AM
0

I was talking about the original post... not your post. I don't think that discussion thread is a good example to get your point across. But your point is still valid, my apologies for the confusion.
/r/MensRights05/04/21 06:18 PM
-4

That's a totally separate topic from what was originally posted. Because yeah, I agree too that's a huge problem as well to completely assume an entire gender/sex. No one would tell you to apologize though... Who's telling men to apologize? Words are cheap and self centered most the time, lead with action! Edit: I also agree it would be stupid for anyone to be told to apologize for an entire culture/sex/gender/race, etc. Isn't that the whole point in that post though? To not apologize on be half…
/r/MensRights05/04/21 05:09 PM
-17

They have a point though, it's totally unnecessary to say and detracts from the main conversation, which probably was someone opening up about harassment they recently experienced. It is a way to subconsciously separate one's self from the devastation that others are causing. There are more authentic ways to express genuine concern than that.
/r/MensRights05/04/21 09:41 AM
33

I feel like all these red pilled people only think with their dick, defiantly not the best advice nor standards any person should be taking from them.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/03/21 07:22 PM
18

The chick literally said she couldn't do PIV, you're grossly overestimating your red pilled stuff.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/03/21 07:19 PM
1

I did some more research and I still disagree. They're not targeting all men, generalizations are just that, generalizations that obviously don't target any specific person, "men" is a common noun and in this case refers to toxic masculinity. It's like the saying NAWALT, "Not All Women Are Like That." It derails from the main conversation and discredits what was said. That saying and "NotAllMen" or "NotAllWomen" are both terrible expressions.
/r/MensRights20/03/21 09:52 PM
-5

The whole UK thing you brought is a separate discussion (if what you said is true I don't agree with it those proposals either). I have a genuine question for you though, isn't the NotAllMen slogan similar to AllLivesMatter? I know they're totally different topics, but I've seen people using the same comparisons.
/r/MensRights20/03/21 02:29 AM
1

Today's not a holiday?
/r/MensRights19/03/21 09:16 PM
-26

I can understand both sides though, I'm one of those people who will make the correct distinct people generalize. E.g., Using a computer/phone a lot doesn't give neck problems, bad posture does. However, I've been noticing when it comes to identity issues (sex,gender,culture,race) I'm a bit conflicted for the reasons like the picture described. To the general populis there are idiots who can't make the distinction and it'll go over their heads, so generalizing makes sense. Though personally I'm …
/r/MensRights19/03/21 08:27 PM
4

Same here dude, I think people who feel the need to "test drive" sexual compatibility (which is a modern social construct) believe mostly in horse hockey. You don't need to have sex to find someone attractive, you don't need to do anything hyper sexual. Talk it over and have the discussion though, if you explicitly need to see someone full naked you're not ready for a relationship, think and try again why you're falling in love with someone.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/03/21 07:31 PM
1

There's defiantly an overlap, there are some people who are dead set on waiting till marriage vs no commitment and wanting to enjoy sex only. I think most like to get into relationships when it's basically casual sex, but "relationship" obviously sounds better lol, then the person wonders why the dude/girl left.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/03/21 07:26 PM
1

r/progresspics, you'll be surprised how drastically the human body can change, looks in general change a lot.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/03/21 06:21 AM
1

I feel the same way, though I guess I've come to this same conclusion from a different path as a virgin still. Too many people use attraction and lust to base long term decisions, which ultimately like it sounds does not work out in the end. I practice semen retention now. Although that may be a bit ascetic, I think the big overarching benefit is the mindset that comes with treating life as a challenge, which can be achieved in a lot of ways. In my opinion it's when an individual is not overly d…
/r/PurplePillDebate11/03/21 07:29 AM
2

Good points and distraction, I guess OP is more so talking about those who have an avoidant or disorganized adult attachment style.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/03/21 11:50 PM
1

Yes, I asked a similar question in the past here and the big determining factor I was told was sex. Now of course it's not that simple, but if you ever want to have a life partner, start a family, live together with someone long-term, you've gotta have similar social compatibility and want the same things/goals from said relationship.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/03/21 10:53 PM
3

You sir hold a lot of mature, true truths. The women who settle on those guys think they can settle and fix these dudes, make them their little DIY project and dream man, that's not how it actually works. True, in a way the way I see it, are those who are hardcore TRP are not too different from those women they're describing. It's a hard pill to swallow for those who fit that category, no one likes to say it, but we can't ignore it either.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/03/21 09:34 PM
4

Hmmm, idk, how about clear direct communication? I think that's more valuable for something long-term to work. You can communicate lust, but that's just one of many other important factors like social compatibility and wanting the same things/goals from a relationship to succeed in being long-term. Edit: serious long-term relationships are a team effort. Pitting against each other will harm the relationship, if you are unsure, ask them directly and talk about whatever issue you are having. The m…
/r/PurplePillDebate03/03/21 08:29 PM
6

Interesting perspective, I will say there are dudes just like this too, it's sad to see people who don't know how to manage themselves and seek way too much validation through others, they're literally dependent on someone to define and justify their existence without thinking for themselves. Does not sound too Freudian, that's exactly what a lot of people do, spot on. Damn dude, so these people are fundamentally wired different from the way they've been treated their whole life, impregnated wit…
/r/PurplePillDebate03/03/21 07:32 PM
8

So these types of women like guys who play hard to get, men who are emotionally distant but give the bare minimum to interact that is not related to them. That's confusing how someone can find that attractive, it's like they enjoy the challenge of trying to out a dude of any emotions towards her, and in that process falls in love with them? what Edit: Maybe they like the dude for what they provide? And as long as he can entertain her in that area she'll do whatever means to keep it going.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/03/21 06:48 PM
1

Do you believe that this mentality applies to everyone? No, we will always and only be the sole person to control our own happiness. Someone could have all the money in the world, all the women, friends, material possession, but it is themselves ultimately decides if they are happy or not. That's not to say sexuality doesn't brings spice or further add an extra lens to the illusion we call life. I think a lot of people have dependency issues, we're social creatures and humans are community drive…
/r/PurplePillDebate02/03/21 04:07 AM
2

Some people may hate my source, but according to FDS it's recommended to wait at least 3 months before having sex with someone to find out if they're what you're looking for. Too early and you risk getting mixed feelings due to lust and could get yourself hurt. Edit: here's the article I read the other day on this. It's solid advice imo https://www.thefemaledatingstrategy.com/post/how-to-vet-for-sexual-compatibility
/r/PurplePillDebate25/02/21 02:36 AM
1

wait wait, hold up. Everyone should be valued and seen as a person, that should be standard. Does this mean you don't value your mom or grandma unless you fk them? LMAOO, btw masturbation can fullfill that same role, heck you can buy a heated flesh light, if a person only values someone for sex that's pretty sad, imo.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/02/21 01:05 AM
2

Ah, your first logical fallacy begins with assuming the only way to not make things sex centered is to withdraw from sex, no... You can still test "sexual compatibility" without PIV. Such as cuddling, sensual touching, and maybe even oral; after all everyone should find their partner attractive, that doesn't mean you have to have PIV. All of this is more so in the beginning of a relationship, why give your body to someone without knowing you're both 1. looking for the same things in life and a r…
/r/PurplePillDebate25/02/21 01:00 AM
3

Of course, there are different social norms based on sex and gender, they're definitely real.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/02/21 10:20 PM
5

A lot of gendered posts ring true to both sides too. Replace "women" with men or "men" with women and they still make a good point.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/02/21 09:07 PM
6

Neither, that'd be hard to prove, we're all first and foremost humans regardless of gender.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/02/21 08:35 PM
3

u/BlindingTwilight Sounds like you're really bored.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/02/21 06:15 AM
1

How long are these people having sex when they're single? Low key this is a bit mind boggling to me. I understand sex and masturbation are different, but damn they reach the same conclusion.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/02/21 03:32 AM
1

These patterns were statistically significant even when controlling for a variety of other variables Well shit dude, you want to argue someone with a Ph.D.? Go read the article, you really think they don't know what they're talking about? I'm quoting their own words. Edit: This is a bit ignorant of you to say, imo. You're missing the whole point. Have a good day though.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/02/21 02:23 AM
1

analyses demonstrated that sexual restraint was associated with better relationship outcomes, even when controlling for education, the number of sexual partners, religiosity, and relationship length. They never made such a statement. Correlations can have statistical significance, what point are you trying to make? You did not even read the paper. To compare these three groups, the authors conducted a Multivariate Analysis of Covariance controlling for religiosity, relationship length, education…
/r/PurplePillDebate20/02/21 01:51 AM
2

Trueee, it's kind of a risk people have to make sometimes. It helps a lot if you have a strong sense of worth and self-esteem. Remember, confidence is knowing you'll be okay no matter the outcome!
/r/PurplePillDebate20/02/21 01:37 AM
4

Common misconception in my opinion since so many people seem to be so focused on sex, but really depends on the individual. It's important to talk and get to know your potential partner's needs and what their love language is, some people do need more physical touch while others do not.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/02/21 01:17 AM
2

True the dating scene is crazy right now. If you don’t have sex people move on quick. I'm not sure about that, and it depends on how spaced out those dates are, because in my opinion 3 dates are plenty of time to figure out and get to know each other better to see if you're both looking for the same things.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/02/21 01:04 AM
3

There are studies that show couples who wait to have sex have better quality relationships. Dating and LTR are different, dating is meant to figure out if you are 1. attractive to each other, and 2. are looking for the same things. In my opinion, both people should be looking for a relationship from the get go, and then figure out the above.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/02/21 01:01 AM
8

Simple and effective in protecting one's self when looking for something serious.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/02/21 12:55 AM
5

Abstinence is a solution to prevent one's self from wasting time and getting hurt when a person is looking for serious LTR. The "lure" part falls on the individual, you as a person to put yourself out there for chances, chance is what gives us the opportunity to find out and see if a person is what we're looking for and compatible. ​ I enjoy sex and I'm not willing to wait an inordinate amount of time to have it. Well that is still part of the problem, we can only spend and get to know someone o…
/r/PurplePillDebate20/02/21 12:52 AM
7

This is where a lot of problems come up, where most "long term" relationships should have ended, but most people get blinded by feelings of lust and confuse it with compatibility and love. There are studies that show waiting is better.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/02/21 12:39 AM
1

You bring up a lot of good points, why can't people let the sub be, it's a great resource for females in general on spotting bad behavior and having a safe space to vent and rant and share cool stories that they relate to. The reason men don't have a subreddit like FDS (at least that I'm aware of) is because men are more goal oriented and don't like to talk about feelings and emotions. The stupid part about this are so many see people as tools and they detach themselves from everyone, focusing o…
/r/PurplePillDebate20/02/21 12:32 AM
3

Exactly, OP's post is a bit of a moot point, it's called "female dating strategy," not "how to find a high value man," that's not the whole picture.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/02/21 12:22 AM
6

Okay, I just took a look at FDS, browsing the hot posts when I clicked on the subreddit, and it doesn't seem to be that bad. The high value part is only one part of what the subreddit talks about, as their name hints at "female dating strategy" not high value men like your post says. A lot of the good strategies I could see were in the posts, which were mainly about how to spot good behavior and what to watch out for, which is a strategy. I can compare this to r/getdisciplined, many of the great…
/r/PurplePillDebate20/02/21 12:20 AM
1

Wouldn't this also mean the women should be "high value" too, or else they will attract low value men most the time.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/02/21 11:45 PM
1

You have me curious about FDS, because the idea of a sub as the name entails sounds like an amazing resource, but from most of these comments they say otherwise.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/02/21 11:39 PM
2

I agree and it's very sad to see, it's plaguing the layperson. I see your point now, that is way easier for most people to understand and do as opposed to something with more steps. I feel like this is something the individual will have to do, there's no magical solution as so many people hope others can fix for them.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/02/21 11:10 PM
1

My comment was only trying to maybe explain why some people are attracted to serial killers and psychopaths, OP's post. I'm not talking about most women/men in general.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/02/21 10:54 PM
1

I mean.. I'll link the article I got a lot of this information from written by a health care professional. I still believe that won't solve anything, these are lifestyle choices that people have to be more cognizant of their effects to no let them become impulsive behaviors. Social media is a tool, and that's what it is best used for (though yes very entertaining and can be addictive like we both know). Edit: The part I disagree is rejecting all social media, it's not for everyone. I know this i…
/r/PurplePillDebate19/02/21 10:45 PM
1

In my opinion, "monk mode" is not a great solution nor practical as a modern widescale practice, it's too ascetic. These "dopamine diets" (which is what monk mode is) were created based on misconceptions about how dopamine works in the brain, misunderstandings that have created maladaptive behaviors that don't actually do what they claim. Though what you are kind of describing are cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) methods that focus on stimulus control with the probability of of reducing addict…
/r/PurplePillDebate19/02/21 10:36 PM
0

I feel a lot has to do with the perceived fame that landed these people in their position. Also these women (men do this too) may also be a "fixer upper," Let’s say you’re dating a guy and he’s perfect. At least, he will be as soon as you’re done with him. All you need to do is make a few upgrades in his wardrobe, communication skills, choice of friends, workout routine, relationship with his mother, and that ugly garage-sale couch he’s so attached to. Once that’s all done and you’ve helped him …
/r/PurplePillDebate19/02/21 09:57 PM
2

It really isn't a serious problem, sex is not the end all be all some people make it out to be, the only reason many feel it is is because of hormones and the body telling them to procreate with a significant other lol.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/02/21 03:59 PM
7

If you're not a simp and know your self worth, you can easily spot those people too, they'll be more friendly and tease you in the hopes of swaying your heart for something in return. However, as you said they are not sexually attractive towards you and don't want you for you, just your success.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/02/21 11:11 PM
1

Those men who are lining up are most the time going to be "low value" simps looking for a quick fix.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/02/21 11:03 PM
2

I don't think anyone uses hardcore science/principles like pareto principle when looking for a partner. This conversation is kind of moot point
/r/PurplePillDebate07/02/21 08:27 PM
2

I think you've summed up the situation well.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/02/21 08:06 AM
8

It's not a problem?
/r/PurplePillDebate06/02/21 07:42 AM
1

Of course not, you can't jump to huge conclusions like that about someone. This conversation seems to be moot, have a nice day.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/02/21 08:44 PM
1

I am not, I can see some good in what they hold but I personally don't agree with it completely.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/02/21 08:36 PM
2

I would say all love too as you described, in its barest sense is a form of discrimination. There is one though, true love in the way buddhist teachings explains it, it's similar to how mother nature does not discriminate. That love involves all, including the people and animals, the trees and plants, rocks and minerals even, etc.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/02/21 08:33 PM
2

Damn this is spot on at their purest forms. You know a lot about life.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/02/21 11:36 PM
2

You're so right, we can still love someone but keep a distance too if their actions push us away, it doesn't mean we tolerate and let ourselves get stepped on. In that scenario if they keep pushin that's distance the other person is creating. We have control of our own bodies, the other person has to do their part too
/r/PurplePillDebate03/02/21 11:03 PM
2

100% agree, being a decent human being eliminates most of those valid concerns.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/02/21 10:59 PM
7

Yeah I don't agree with that "culture." To each their own I guess.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/02/21 09:16 PM
1

I'm talking about serious relationships, like with family and significant other. I guess everyone is talking about the dating scene because that makes more sense.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/02/21 09:15 PM
7

Whatever happened to unconditional love, for both sexes.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/02/21 08:57 PM
4

This is only a half truth, in a private setting with ourselves no one else experiences the reality we live and see, we determine our worth. In the public eye yes the marketplace when we interact with others does determine our general worth.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/02/21 08:02 PM
2

Reality says otherwise, many are in it just for the sex alone, it's no wonder the perceived market seems to be inflated with a higher ratio of men to women.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/02/21 07:55 PM
5

Always remember that getting older does not automatically mean one is maturing. Some people, even if they've dated, are really immature and their age does not show it. While there are also people who have never dated, but are quite mature. It really depends on the person.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/01/21 02:11 AM
3

There is so much truth to what you just mentioned. I think most people fail at not talking about themselves because a lot of people try so hard to make everything about them. It shows insecurity and neediness because they may be addicted to validation from others.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/01/21 07:05 AM
4

Those are the dummies who think luck is on their side lol, they put no effort and expect to gain (they won't).
/r/PurplePillDebate12/01/21 11:07 PM
8

Status and desirability, help a lot in attraction. I imagine just the mere exposure too will open a person up to more chances with people than a nobody.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/01/21 04:38 PM
2

That's why OP mentioned charisma specifically, it's a mannerism that's well known and received. All men can feel good and be happy since it all comes from within, if they're getting angry no wonder, they don't sound sensible or able to read a room if they have to knock down or rely on others as tools.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/01/21 09:13 AM
20

Basically how a person carries themselves is so important, not only does it affect how you see yourself but also how others see you.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/01/21 11:53 PM
3

I haven't showered since last year, my bad
/r/PurplePillDebate01/01/21 07:01 PM
1

It doesn't count if you buy their onlyfans though
/r/PurplePillDebate01/01/21 03:35 AM
1

Lol, seems like a mod or someone changed your flair haha. BUT TRUE, my feelings dont mean shit.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/12/20 11:44 PM
1

Wait is this allowed when you don't have the purge week flair?
/r/PurplePillDebate31/12/20 10:15 PM
1

You're right they're not needs, good distinction. On a separate note as the top comment here mentioned, they should be subsidized or be free/low-cost, prevention is a lot better than unplanned child rearing or diseases.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/12/20 06:13 AM
5

Haha I know what I said was wishful thinking, I know it's not going to go away in terms of what the general populace believes. I find it interesting you brought up that married men are seen as more attractive, because they are seen as more attractive and desirable since women trust the judgement of other women. I read an article on this before and it was interesting! This is also why people flaunt their attractive partners because they believe it will improve their status and desirability among …
/r/PurplePillDebate23/12/20 11:00 PM
1

Did my original comment sound like that? I apologize if it did. All I said was in most situations the man has to be "better" at everything and that it's something we've all been influenced to believe. I'm not sure how you conclude that men were to blame, I said this is something we've all been conditioned to believe, meaning both men and women. I think we agree on the same things here.. By everyone else you meant both men and women too right? If so then we agree on the same thing. Edit: grammar
/r/PurplePillDebate23/12/20 10:51 PM
1

And we do, however how far does this community you speak of extend in real life. Here we are talking about sex/gender issues that don't commonly happen in our private lives around us (at least for most I think). I do agree with your stance here too, there has to be a balance however, and saying happiness is dependent on us ultimately is not going against or shaming anyone, nor does it suggest one has to toughen up. Everyone should offer support and listen to these people, that's what solidarity …
/r/PurplePillDebate23/12/20 10:35 PM
3

I want to make clear my(our) ability to rationalize is totally separate from my(our) choices and opinions that we believe in. I think a lot of people are socialized and focus more on the existential growing up, meaning the meanings others give to validate another's existence is inflated and what most believe in. Everyone should learn to acknowledge their own self worth, which is happiness is ultimately determined by them at the end of the day.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/12/20 10:24 PM
2

Just my personal opinion here, there are some half truths here but a lot of it is hogwash to me. I will say our actions define who we are in terms of society at large. However, when it comes to our personal self in private settings we define our actions and intention is everything.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/12/20 10:19 PM
21

I agree, for some reason in most situations the man has to be "better" at everything, be it height, money, n count, or whatever. I think it's some social influence we've all been conditioned to believe, I think it should go away.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/12/20 08:57 PM
5

Everyone out there in this world will get judged, people should do what they want ultimately. Control the life we each have, not the many out there where we have no control over.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/12/20 02:32 AM
5

> What do you think of this? Information overload aside, I think there are huge misconceptions that are perpetuated by porn because although it is mainstream in viewing there still isn't any private talk on the intricacies of it. E.g., what's real/fake, what it does to our brains, and the intention behind it. > Are deviant acts getting more mainstream? I believe no, not any more or less than how it has been. At the end of the day all these popular videos are for entertainment purposes only (not …
/r/PurplePillDebate19/12/20 05:24 PM
2

Wow that book is number 6 on amazon charts, Imma have to check it out because it sounds interesting. Thanks
/r/PurplePillDebate14/12/20 06:57 PM
1

Those are actually really great! Another good one that's more like an adventure is Ring Fit also by Nintendo. People complicate things too much and lack the discipline to turn meaningful effort into a habit, which at that point requires less willpower and discipline to keep going.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/12/20 06:45 PM
2

You're right too, genetics does have a huge factor as well. In your case you sound like an outlier on one extreme though.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/12/20 06:29 PM
2

False! As you said it's really due to lifestyle choices, such as laziness too. As little as 10-15mins a day raising your heartbeat is more than enough. People are too picky sometimes too, there are easy recipes out there where you get a cup of vegetables with some protein, grains optional but recommended. Snack on 2 pieces of fruit and that's a pretty solid diet at its basics.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/12/20 06:14 PM
3

I'm not sure what that has to do with anything we're talking about lol, but I'll agree on that part only.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/12/20 08:37 PM
4

I would say screw theirs and anyone else's opinions still because at that point a relationship is only between that person and you.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/12/20 08:36 PM
5

This is bullshit in my opinion, you can jack off and get that post nut clarity back, you don't need to have sex to figure that much out.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/12/20 08:32 PM
5

Your second sentence doesn't make sense, they can't complain if they don't know about your past. So no, the people who wait to have sex are winning.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/12/20 08:31 PM
2

If you actually make a post directly discussing that you'll get some real answers. I have an "adopted" aunt who feels the same way, I'm like a son to her and I treat her like my real aunt too. She also regrets not having children after her husband passed away. And in some totally unrelated aspects than you just mentioned some are yeah, maybe? Monkeys will be monkeys lol
/r/PurplePillDebate10/12/20 06:50 AM
3

The one I am now, me. This isn't a productive question that garners anything meaningful.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/12/20 06:37 AM
1

Of course everyone should trust their partners, if you're suspicious and unsure then that sounds like a personal issue, or possibly the relationship has already been rocky in which case you both need to reevaluate the whole connection. I don't see why a person's sex or sexuality matters here, more specifically gay guys, when there are straight guys and bi women you could be worrying about too. Trust and exclusivity is important for serious romantic relationships, if one of those are missing well…
/r/PurplePillDebate07/12/20 08:40 PM
1

The looks thing doesn't make sense, people can split up because they're searching for different things, looks isn't everything only half of it.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/12/20 04:27 AM
2

I really appreciate you sharing this, this was super interesting for me as a dude who has never used dating apps or dating in general. It really gave a realistic representation on how the app must feel like. What I thought was really cool was to hear about how women are put through this, and wow many do not know nor care about knowing that a lot of the attention is inflated and imo a dangerous ego booster. Women really do have a lot of options, when it comes to online, and that mindset does affe…
/r/PurplePillDebate30/11/20 06:11 AM
2

I told them all to fuck off I don't know if you meant that literally, but damn if you did why not just be cool about it.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/11/20 09:09 PM
2

I don't think anyone is resentful really, however that is a drastically different lifestyle another person would be walking into, not everyone is looking for something like that which imo should be okay? It's like the same thing with virgins, we always hear jokes about them and how they're socially incompetent or going to gain wizard powers lol.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/11/20 08:41 PM
2

Damnnn, yeah yikes for anyone looking for anything meaningful, those drugs are doing a number, it's kind of sad.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/11/20 09:39 PM
2

Is this her AMA? I clicked her twitter link and I see no porn, just rants about mental illness I'm confused, but not surprised.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/11/20 09:10 PM
3

Same, a good example of this is porn, those "urges" is the dopamine flashing those feel good episodic memories to get us to go do it again. Sex and money with sex work is no different, maybe worse for those with a weak psyche if they're not careful.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/11/20 08:55 PM
7

Also sex with all those raging hormones gets one dependent on those feelings for validation, without it a part of them feels missing when they come back to reality. The dopamine rush we feel during and even days after messes with us so much too for long periods of time, and makes us default back to those feel good habits over and over.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/11/20 08:49 PM
3

Technically you (women) and everyone else (men) do have options, whether they're shit or amazing is a totally different topic. Those "rare" good men you mentioned are an option too in that dating pool. The way a person carries themselves determines a lot too.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/11/20 07:14 PM
5

Your post and title are really different opinions.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/11/20 07:07 PM
1

Because they've got money to spend and life to enjoy, why sit home spending hours when a quicky is enough if they've got no woman around. They could be learning a skill or perfecting their craft.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/11/20 12:27 AM
2

That's not degrading, spending hours would hint at porn instead of going on with their day with a 5 minute quicky. Also that idiom is irrelevant here, I never said masturbating or watching some porn was bad nor impossible.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/11/20 12:02 AM
2

In my opinion this is pretty laughable and a bit of a pointless post, most if not everyone has seen porn in their life. To anyone who hasn't are ones who have no technology or access to internet like aboriginals. Who's degrading the male sex drive here? I never said that, sounds like you are. And I'm a bit confused by what you mean satiating (indulge to the fullest extent). I appreciate the article, because I understand what your definition is now.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/11/20 11:54 PM
3

99% of men watch porn, it would stand to reason that of the few men who don't watch porn there is probably something wrong with them. This is pure assumption with no basis for any claims you just said, even without your supposed source of 99% watch it. There are dudes who focus more on their careers, interests, and goals in life, personal connections rather than one-sided fake screens to get off. Many of these guys have used porn, but now are done with it, they don't want to spend hours wasting …
/r/PurplePillDebate26/11/20 11:39 PM
2

I totally agree with you OP
/r/PurplePillDebate23/11/20 10:06 PM
2

You have a very valid point.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/11/20 04:05 AM
1

The boring as fuck shit is more on them AND you, you can suggest topics if you're genuinely disinterested and are still interested in them.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/11/20 04:04 AM
1

This always baffled me, do people really accept randos stalking their profile based off of one profile pic?
/r/PurplePillDebate20/11/20 07:31 PM
2

I think it's cool for the guy to do this and that everyone should too, it is the 21st century, thankfully there are women who do care too about their partner's wellbeing also.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/11/20 05:29 PM
12

THIS. I believe it has more to do with the individual, if they're only looking for sex all the time they're of course going to get some backlash and cold shoulder treatment, their advances will not be reciprocated always. Now, men who value more activities and goals outside of sex regarding the self and their interests/work, are going to see things differently. Any advances that are made on them will be a plus, extra pleasure on top of what they enjoy doing already.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/11/20 09:32 PM
8

This is a good example of a real issue. However this doesn't account for all possible situations. Without a propper explanation though I agree it is safe to assume some deeper issue must have happened.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/11/20 07:06 AM
10

What would that mean if she never kissed anyone yet?
/r/PurplePillDebate16/11/20 05:39 AM
5

I hope you never mention FDS to anyone you're dating, the power dynamic you're looking for is very niche at best, expect to wait for some time. At the very least, you should be finding someone who at least has a degree to match your education level, you're never going to be happy with this dude, the expectations are beyond him, maybe as friends but come on, you know realistically nothing more is going to come from you two. Edit: If you've figured this guy out, why are you still in a relationship…
/r/PurplePillDebate14/11/20 07:53 PM
2

We saw and grew up with the tech, but they were born right in it when things were picking up faster and faster. You're right too
/r/PurplePillDebate11/11/20 11:02 PM
2

All these tools like social media are great with moderation of course, I'm in the process too of not relying too much on reddit, I already don't check other social media to take time to focus on myself. That feeling of stalling is exactly how it feels, you realize 'woah have I always been like this, how long have I been this way' when you give yourself even an inkling of open-mindedness to the topic. Many laugh it off and escape, like I mentioned prolonging the real change from happening. Porn i…
/r/PurplePillDebate11/11/20 09:35 PM
3

I've never had a problem being there or making friends with others, however I have been keeping to myself because it's just easier to deal with change while you learn more about yourself. I'm sorry to hear you went through both those experiences, things have defintely changed during those years with the presence of online dating and social media. This 'us' vs 'them' mentality isn't helping either side too, so many people hold these unrealitsitc expectations while not upholding these same ideals …
/r/PurplePillDebate11/11/20 08:27 PM
5

Thank you, I do appreciate the feedback. You're right my main points are everything besides that.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/11/20 06:38 AM
5

It's a lifestyle choice bro, a conciouse choice, and I'm in my early twenties.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/11/20 06:10 AM
2

I rarely masturbate too though, maybe, and just maybe every 2-3 weeks or a month at a time. No more porn either.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/11/20 05:06 AM
2

I literally don't care for sex. None of that sexuality will ever temp me, long-term that's just a cheap escape. I'm a virgin, I've quit porn too; I'm positive all things sex at this point will not blind my emotional intelligence. Edit: Clarification and rewording
/r/PurplePillDebate11/11/20 04:29 AM
1

Dude exactly! My post was more about the unrealistic expectations people carry, the entitlement they have, but you're encapsulating the bigger picture here! I'm also a CIS guy, I think most guys who don't give into prescribed gender roles would be considered a metrosexual, of course this label is just an idea at most and not who we actually are as you said. I really appreciate your comment man, because this is something I've been struggling with too much recently with my sense of self. I realize…
/r/PurplePillDebate09/11/20 08:53 PM
1

Exactly, you understand it. Some people think if they take on this and that identity their life changes with new promised treatment and expectations, although it may help one's psyche to organize their thoughts, but, nothing actually changed and life goes on. These titles don't change anything
/r/PurplePillDebate08/11/20 05:53 PM
1

I would say yes, and if someone was living in a more rural area they're going to be drastically limited to opportunities to actually mingle with people. The four years after highschool would then be where they actually experience change and realizations, call them late bloomers I suppose.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/11/20 08:59 PM
2

People want things to go their own way, they have a solid plan on what they want and what to do, so I'm sure that fits into what kind of partner they want if they want to take charge. Edit: I think it's either for power/control, and sex.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/10/20 06:03 PM
1

Well damn you said you maxed out everything in the looks department, start with knowing and staying true to your worth. How you carry yourself as a person goes a longgg ways.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/10/20 01:13 AM
1

She's got killer, rock-hard abs.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/10/20 01:09 AM
1

Find a sensible person through any dating app based on locality. Your post is super vague, like what are you looking for plays a big determining factor in the kind of person you're looking to attract.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/10/20 01:06 AM
5

Damn savage lmao, pretty strong opinions you got there
/r/PurplePillDebate18/10/20 12:58 AM
3

I think it goes we determine our own league, honestly I don't agree these league things are that important. I think usually when someone is considered out of our league it's based on the kinds of people they've interacted with, and the more they get to over time, most likely the higher the change in their expectations on thresholds for who they will consider "worthy."
/r/PurplePillDebate16/10/20 04:49 PM
6

simps sound incredibly boring, I don't see how any woman would like them other than some monetary value. Simps are also emotionally underdeveloped, I dont see how that's high value in anyway.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/10/20 02:27 PM
1

We are sentient beings (although could be debated), not some unicellular organism. I guess I'm being way too broad with my post, because you're right this really boarders on the outskirts of what this sub is about. Edit: I realized my first sentence here may seem off topic, but yeah my post is over generalizing the roles we take on.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/09/20 10:10 PM
1

I don't think I'm being pedantic, but I am relying heavily on semantics, you're right. Okay I see what you mean now, it sounds like we have a difference on definitions then. This wasn't supposed to be my main focus on origins.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/09/20 09:59 PM
1

That is far from what I described, my post is addressing more of the whining and playing victim card with all the false expectations people hold. Okay, you're entitled to your own view, but I'm pretty sure anyone can agree how extreme that is. If you want to hope and pray for the government to make this a reality for you one day, that is your choice.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/09/20 09:49 PM
2

I mean one could argue if the route we're heading in is part and expected by evolutionary standards, but that's a whole other topic. I never was denying biology, but the predefined terms we use to describe it are in essence still social constructs, although widely accepted as facts of course.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/09/20 09:37 PM
2

I would say society does not mirror that of nature, we're at the apex for life on Earth, recording and making our own history. Societies in our world are heavily dependent on ideals we create based on the niche experiences we share, those ideals are then popularized and in my opinion mistakenly set as a "standard." It's far from the actual truth of what we actually value too, which could be those traditional Men's and Women's roles you may be referring to. Laws have been made and bills are being…
/r/PurplePillDebate30/09/20 09:32 PM
1

In the first half youare totally right, that is what a social construct is. I would have to disagree on your part about the societal conformity for the contemporary world we live in now. I believe this was the case a few decades ago and on, but today we are seeing change where people are choosing for themselves to not fit in, e.g., your LGBT example. They're not conforming to a societal influence in order to fit in, their lifestyle is becoming quite normative.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/09/20 09:15 PM
1

I would say this is a half truth, because you're right too. What is incentivized is based on what others want you to be to fit their own narrative. We reinforce our sense of self based on the social interactions we have with others, we have majority vote on how we interpret others' actions. The world's a diverse place, there are others who will share yours/our same line of thinking. Most people don't differ too much from current majority views anyway, there's a high probability of running into o…
/r/PurplePillDebate30/09/20 09:02 PM
1

I believe that is fine, there will always be popular majority views on how to organize and live one's life; however, that should be decide by you first and foremost. So many people nowadays believe we have no sense of agency, when we all ways have had it.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/09/20 08:47 PM
3

Can you please provide a case? This just sounds like a "boy" who cried wolf story. This is how myths get perpetuated.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/09/20 02:37 PM
1

Have not, though I'm not the best person to be asking that question in general lol (never been in a romantic relationship yet). Edit: But of course the answer would be no, some level of physical attraction is needed.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/09/20 01:14 AM
1

I'm just going to say this, in this situation my opinion matters more than some empirical data about someone. OP is looking for opinions, I gave my opinion. Go state yours as a top-level comment instead of implying all others' are wrong.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/09/20 10:16 AM
2

Bro we can't have a conversation... I told you already I thought your comment on screening for sexual assault was referring to people who experienced sexual assault, THAT'S what my "yes, including that" comment was about. Then you went on a tangent and decided to focus on female rapists, my link was just backing up saying males are more often to be rapists than females since your response implied not... My argument is consistent, you've decided to assume so many details about my stance.. I don't…
/r/PurplePillDebate20/09/20 10:01 AM
1

Women can be just as horny as some of our top male contenders, shocker there are actually women who really enjoy sex a lot. If their partner can't keep up and they're unsatisfied then they should do something about it, it's their life not mine. also you know jealousy, safety, pregnancy, time resources, religion and disgust. Obviously it's not a lifestyle everyone wants, but there are women who participate in it, if a guy wants to have a promiscuous life then they can be poly maybe or not, who ca…
/r/PurplePillDebate20/09/20 09:53 AM
2

Nearly all arrestees for forcible rape in 1995 were male (99%), while about 8% of arrestees for other sex offenses were female. Source: Bureau of Justice Statistics Not just from reading articles, look at the statistics. Here's a thorough paper that I doubt you'll read. Males are more likely to be offenders in these situations. Alright others do openly misuse the two terms. I never said being immature was a bad thing, that's not what I was talking about so we're done with that tangent. And if yo…
/r/PurplePillDebate20/09/20 09:47 AM
6

I'm fellow bro here, I know they're a thing, but most women aren't rapists. I thought you meant people who have experienced sexual assault, that's what my comment was referring to. Hope that clears up any confusion. You're confusing the two terms, here's the difference between the words immature and naive. I'm talking about naivety, people who don't know themselves. That's besides the point, they're not too different. Maturity is what I'm looking for in a relationship, sophistication. I literall…
/r/PurplePillDebate20/09/20 09:21 AM
3

Yes, that includes sexual assault, this isn't something people screen though so I'm not sure why you brought that up. Maturity > naivety , simple.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/09/20 09:04 AM
2

I don't care about someone's past sex lives, I don't think anyone should really care about it since the body physically does not change (excluding conditions). What really matters is someone's maturity, that will dictate how naive someone is about the world and themselves. If they have that "itch" to try more things bc they're not sure about themselves, well that's a maturity issue. Nothing to do with how much or little sex they have, it's 2020, if someone is still clueless then that's their per…
/r/PurplePillDebate20/09/20 08:56 AM
2

Truly an inspiration, it's not easy to break away from deep-seated teachings we've be conditioned to accept since the day we were born. You have your priorities straight as a parent and father figure for your children, they'll understand what you had to go through to teach them how to be strong and care about family first. I personally don't think I'll ever think women specifically are a liability, I'm trying to see humans as humans, but I won't deny the differences gender brings when it comes t…
/r/PurplePillDebate20/09/20 08:43 AM
1

I'm quite humbled you took the time to reply to my post, you've seen and took in a lot of life, I've been realizing older people really do have a lot of life experience that people sadly dismiss due arrogance. I've gone through change I've never would have expected, which has made me more open to these possibilities. What's your response to all the sexuality you see people flaunt, some purposely do it while others don't necessarily realize it themselves. Especially on social media it only takes …
/r/PurplePillDebate20/09/20 07:08 AM
3

Asking someone out and getting their number are totally different things. But regarding asking guys out, I would agree too.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/09/20 01:21 AM
15

I see a lot of posts by women who complain or feel sad they're not getting approached, this is where they can change that greatly to get someone to show interest, and hopefully the two can reciprocate feelings.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/09/20 01:07 AM
1

Preach! How someone carries themselves is such a huge factor. That's the general vibe they give off after all. Edit: grammar
/r/PurplePillDebate20/09/20 01:02 AM
1

Makes me wonder why we are heading that route if we're not ready for it clearly. I've been going through an identity crisis I feel, I'm not sure what I value anymore or how to balance my ideals from the actual truth. It's tough dude(ss)
/r/PurplePillDebate19/09/20 08:10 PM
2

I feel if a man is after something more traditional, or like a partnership this wouldn't work. If their partner started to use known tactics as a game the man would definitely leave due to the lack of seriousness between the two of them.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/09/20 07:48 PM
1

Wait, you're saying 3 months is extreme?! That seems so little time what
/r/PurplePillDebate19/09/20 07:46 PM
1

Social media has exacerbated these issues, it doesn't paint the whole picture and yet people still believe this sliver into someone's life is the whole picture, far from it.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/09/20 12:22 AM
2

I really like all the points you brought up, as a dude I feel the same way. It's really easy to let our urges take over, but someone with control who has their priorities straight isn't going to let it easily take over the bigger picture. I feel that last point about cheating is iffy, if they're truly looking for a connection then that's automatically a red flag for whoever they've found, imo.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/09/20 12:20 AM
1

I'll take a break from this subreddit for sure, I've also never used a dating app before. Yo that's still pretty cool, also an interesting hobby nonetheless, if it works for you then that's all that matters. The whole isekai genre just makes for a more convienent story telling reference to us the audience.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/09/20 10:07 PM
1

Ah I thought you meant the general populous by here, my bad, so thanks for the amend. I think I'm thinking too hard on this, and should take a break from the internet.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/09/20 09:59 PM
1

I really find it hard to believe how two genders, could have such drastically different outlooks when we all relate more as a species, we are much more alike than we are different being humans. With the dilemma you created, I do agree it's not hard to see the problems that arise. Though I feel it's not that stark in actuality.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/09/20 09:51 PM
2

Because of how everyone thinks, all these ideals we say and repeat, yet it's more like wishful thinking in actuality for most who spout them. It just boggles my mind when I see people complaining about the dating scene, and can't see the actual truth you're speaking of too. And no, I wouldn't be? I never said anything bad about having sex in my post. Edit: My post made me realize people are selfish, they want everything from both worlds, but can't even uphold it for themselves, yet expect others…
/r/PurplePillDebate18/09/20 09:41 PM
1

I was a bit confused by your previous comment, because I sensed you also agreed initially too, but your wording was a bit off then and went with that. I would counter that argument and simply say the two individuals were looking for different things from the start that lead to a dead bedroom. But I personally wouldn't solely blame it on either of them, because life is complicated, we do change over time, it's really hard to put it simply to give a reason on how some relationships lead to a dead …
/r/PurplePillDebate18/09/20 09:31 PM
1

What happened to a partnership, you've completely disregarded that aspect, why is it only about sex? This is exactly what my post is describing, why is it so easily dismissed. A friendship isn't a partnership, and yet sex is assumed to be the only differentiating factor for any relationship.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/09/20 09:25 PM
1

A deadbedroom is not okay, but I see two sides of a relationship that people stress on, sex and a partner. So many people think a partner is someone who agrees with what you say, do or think, but that's completely far from the truth. A lot of people are selfish I'm realizing.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/09/20 09:21 PM
1

I will checkout that subreddit, I've heard of it before. It sounds the relationship is solely one sided then if it gets to that point. I've looked at a few posts and it seems people were looking for different things, I can't even think why they'd have gotten together in the first place.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/09/20 09:15 PM
1

I've heard the opposite of a relationship where sex is a "glorified hookup." I've heard the opposite and there are actually studies that show the timing of sex during dating matters. So you're wrong, delaying sex actually increases the quality of a relationship. Edit: you're right though, people do make choices, but it seems people either don't know themselves or are selfish, imo.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/09/20 09:04 PM
3

This is such backwards thinking in my opinion, what I'm realizing more and more from my post is simple, humans have a predisposition to be selfish.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/09/20 08:52 PM
0

If only life could be that simple.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/09/20 08:50 PM
0

Why should that bother an individual though if a woman gets more sex than a man?
/r/PurplePillDebate18/09/20 08:41 PM
0

I'm talking in respect to both individuals, men and women, in regards to what _I_give_up_4real said, if sex is the only difference between a best friend and significant other. Yet you're right too, clearly men would be getting more jealous and hurt if their SO was getting more sex, but why if supposedly TRP is seeking sex only.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/09/20 08:32 PM
2

It seems like a lot of people carry false or unrealistic expectations, or are just not sure or ready with themselves on what they want. Edit: or both...
/r/PurplePillDebate18/09/20 08:24 PM
1

Why cheat then, or stay in a relationship and limit oneself if sex is all they wanted. If they wanted something more sophisticated couldn't one have actually had a discussion and talk to sort or end things? I feel so many are treating things as a game, they don't know what they want too.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/09/20 08:19 PM
1

If that's the case, why aren't more people open to the idea of a poly lifestyle. It seems it would be less of a hassle and you'll get to keep your best friends. Edit: Yet, why isn't that working out for people too then?
/r/PurplePillDebate18/09/20 08:13 PM
1

People will do a lot to get it, and yet still cheat and can't settle for one person, or accept a poly life? So which is it. If sex defines a romantic relationship, what are these other qualities people are looking for, when everyone has a body, there's no shortages in that department.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/09/20 08:08 PM
1

You've kind of proven my point, so many people want this life of sophistication and order, but don't hold themselves to this same regard. One day we won't even need to have sex to have children, we'll be pre-screening and editing embryos to then be transferred to a host for development. Oh but people won't like this too. So why are aiming for this future we're not even ready for.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/09/20 08:05 PM
2

Correlation does not always mean causation, but you still bring up a good point. So by this logic, are women the flashy suitress out to pick and choose her mate out of a bunch of men? We're always given this narrative that men are the suitors given multiple women to pick and choose from, or are we humans more sophisticated than that of primitive animals?
/r/PurplePillDebate18/09/20 06:57 PM
3

Why is sex the only thing you care about, if dealing with a significant other is such a hassle why not save all that money from dates and buy a robot. Edit: grammar
/r/PurplePillDebate03/09/20 12:46 AM
1

I'm just being realistic, hey if you think you can get away with murder and no one finds out, was there even a murder?
/r/PurplePillDebate02/09/20 09:15 AM
1

All good and solid points you brought up. If those were questions directed at me, I'm agnostic and don't masturbate. I believe it depends on the individual and what they make their life to be, whether that be putting on the rose tinted glass frequently or refraining oneself, doesn't really matter aside from what they bring to the person.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/09/20 09:12 AM
1

Oof true, but isn't that what maturity is? For the most part there's no right or wrong way to live one's life, so long as they're satisfied and aren't hurting others. So if OP finds someone who's mature and certain as he is (I'm assuming), then there are people out there we're compatible with.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/09/20 08:48 AM
2

Would this mean men who don't care about sex are winning? They're in the most control, she could withhold sex, but then the dude wouldn't want it anyway (at least not right away) because his priorities are else where, a completely different set of check boxes for women to consider. I've seen it happen, and some question their worth or sex appeal when the guy doesn't make moves in those aspects, it could be old insecurities, but also for some looks are all they've got.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/09/20 07:43 AM
1

I feel sorry for anyone actually named those.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/09/20 07:17 AM
1

It honestly sounds like you haven't really found anyone compatible yet, but if you've thought of it then there has to be someone out there who feels the same. None of us here can really judge.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/09/20 06:30 AM
You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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