~ archived since 2018 ~
~ archived since 2018 ~
| Upvotes | Comment on | Subreddit | Date (UTC) |
|---|---|---|---|
| 11 | Know Your Enemy: Friends with Benefits and the Sex Positive MovementWhat a wonderful manifesto about equity. I’m still not sold on certain biological assumptions about animal/human behavior made often in the sub, but I do like all these wonderful points you make about equity and the political economy of sex. 💯💯💯 | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 03/06/21 04:52 PM |
| 14 | Cruella has to be the most FDS thing Disney has ever madeSame | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 03/06/21 02:25 AM |
| 1 | Disappointing Role Models: Athletes, Only Fans, and Toxic boyfriendsI have no idea, tbh. I don’t even know if she lives in MX or US bc I think she works for Univision, an American network. She also deleted all mention of her ex so I think they might have broken up 🙄 | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 02/06/21 07:05 PM |
| 14 | I used to like Dr. Nerdlove but I’m so disappointed in this column. He just told this woman that her bf having sexual conversations with his exes is fine and she’s in the wrong for going through his phone 🙄Phew is it 2010 because this dude is old!!! I remember reading his blog but quit within a year because as a WoC I realized he made some weird comments that let me know exactly who he is. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 02/06/21 05:39 PM |
| 2 | Disappointing Role Models: Athletes, Only Fans, and Toxic boyfriendsOh I’m not questioning her decision to quit, I’m glad she made that decision. I wish you the best of luck during your journey, and I’m happy that women today are prioritizing their mental health. I also have made similar decision lately. I am questioning the exposure of her body while she’s discussing her social anxiety, and the fact that it’s industry standard sucks, but it doesn’t justify that decision most likely being wrong for her. I’ve seen female comedians from my country also promote the… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 02/06/21 12:18 AM |
| 11 | Disappointing Role Models: Athletes, Only Fans, and Toxic boyfriendsI’m not talking about her quitting- I’m talking about the bikini posts and toxic boyfriend. If it weren’t for those I’d be super happy for her. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 01/06/21 12:51 PM |
| 36 | Disappointing Role Models: Athletes, Only Fans, and Toxic boyfriendsWhat kind of person brags publicly about their partner, a public figure, skipping a high profile event?? There’s no way he’s HV, and it has nothing to do with him being a rapper, etc. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 01/06/21 03:44 AM |
| 11 | Disappointing Role Models: Athletes, Only Fans, and Toxic boyfriendsThat’s legit all I know about him and that’s all I need to know | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 01/06/21 03:05 AM |
| 41 | An update to a comment I made about random men who compliment you.Girl, you’re totally right! I had a creeper ask me if I was in high school (I’m thirty so LoL, but I was wearing pigtails & look young)... which was an immediate red flag. He just kept being inappropriate saying weird stuff like “Oh I don’t want to have sex, if I want to have sex with a chick I’ll just tell her.” Which ?????? (son I did not ask, wtf). And I was just way too nice waiting to see when he would shut up. I let him talk at me way too much and answered too many questions. He ended up s… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 29/05/21 03:15 PM |
| 9 | OLD - is it LV behavior when men ask this? What’s your experience/opinions on it?If you’re a woman of color this is a microaggression, and it’s very common when white people insist on figuring out “what race are you??” Etc. If you’re European/white, then it’s a sign they’re exotifying you. The thing is that this is quite common for 80% of Americans to know where people are from because we’re all from somewhere originally, and it’s harmless a lot of the time. Regardless, it sounds like you need to work on vetting people more quickly because I don’t know why you’re having all … | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 29/05/21 03:05 PM |
| 12 | 16 and need guidance from an older womanForget about all that. College applications are coming up, and you want to find a place that doesn’t just provides you a good future but also makes you happy. You can literally choose the university where there will be more South Asian radical feminists who will change your life. Don’t take these people so seriously, they are by nature transitory. Maybe join some sports, find company in feminist novels and books, and take care of yourself and your academics. Bag before everything else. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 28/05/21 04:20 PM |
| 78 | Always felt Electra complex had something off about it. Now it makes so much more sense. I feel many other women can benefit from knowing this anecdote. From "Why does he do that?" By Lundy Bancroft.I wish it were “a few bad apples.” The key tenets of psychology are the source of the problem. Psychology individualizes and pathologizes abuse rather than dealing with the sociological implications of systemic oppression like patriarchy. Even famous sociologists who have criticized psychology (Foucault) have been known to either minimize or condone childhood sexual abuse. This is why you should never ever go to a therapist who isn’t a feminist and isn’t trauma-informed. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 28/05/21 04:15 PM |
| 2 | Selena Quintanilla is a queen way ahead of her time. I love the message she says. Women supporting womenI’m mestiza with indigenous heritage from elsewhere in Latin America. It is not the same skin color with both actresses, so that’s why I don’t understand why you are insisting on that. I distinctly remember Selena being the only brown singer when I was 7 years old. She was significant to me because she was brown. I misspoke, I know that white people use olive skin but that has no meaning to me. I guess this is something you can discuss with someone woke in your life with indigenous background wh… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 27/05/21 12:34 AM |
| 8 | Why I forget things at his place.These strategies easily apply to men you’re making out with without having sex. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 26/05/21 10:00 PM |
| 21 | Why I forget things at his place.I’m sorry all of these realizations are clearer in hindsight. I don’t judge cause I’ve had my share of silly rationalizations I used to avoid glaring red flags from an ex. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 26/05/21 09:58 PM |
| 11 | Selena Quintanilla is a queen way ahead of her time. I love the message she says. Women supporting womenI love her! I’m still mad that her father whitewashed her in the casting for the Netflix series, and I’m too mad to even watch it. Is it good? | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 26/05/21 08:58 PM |
| 1 | About Bennifer and Latina Pickme CultureI don’t feel bad for Garner! I just don’t believe in having feelings for immature men who do low-class things like Ben did, and her “Bless His Heart” quotes indicate that. Also she made an action movie recently that was extremely problematic with Latino roles, so my empathy is limited. Anyways, she has her shit together and I’m not worried about her. She is a classy lady who never stooped to Ben’s level, who is an extremely good mother, and who has always maintained success. I’m sure she will fi… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 26/05/21 01:25 PM |
| 11 | How do you respond when men ask questions or make comments about your intelligence?This is gold, but just curious, in what sales scenario is this helpful? | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 26/05/21 02:38 AM |
| 5 | How do you respond when men ask questions or make comments about your intelligence?Just let your intellectual soul fly in the wind and talk about what you do with intellect and passion, and then watch the light in the eyes of LVM go out when they realize they can’t impress you (I love to see it! Just saw it this morning). All you’re doing by playing dumb is playing yourself. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 26/05/21 02:36 AM |
| 6 | About Bennifer and Latina Pickme CultureHaha I mean it’s aesthetically good, it’s just the place where he got it and his general lack of taste. Please please share a story! 🙀 | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 26/05/21 01:30 AM |
| 13 | About Bennifer and Latina Pickme CultureLol like Eva Mendez being an elite cheerleader and also a doctor... sounds about right, and it’s hard to explain to people from other cultures that if the bar for men is in hell, for Latinas it is above God’s toupee. It’s not enough to be smart, you have to be the most beautiful. I feel you on people celebrating babies and weddings and then huge achievements are like “that’s nice, but how will you get a boyfriend doing that?” | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 26/05/21 01:28 AM |
| 55 | About Bennifer and Latina Pickme CultureHow is she 50+ and just now starting therapy? Girl, what? That’s not normal for Latina standards. Many of my cousins are psychologists and many go to therapy so I more just feel peeved that she’s been giving life advice. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 26/05/21 12:05 AM |
| 21 | About Bennifer and Latina Pickme CultureYeah my aunt and cousin went on a whole tirade on how awful my male cousin’s wife was cause she had a corporate job and financially supported him as a stay-at-home dad who’s also an artist. Like what a witch! How dare she abuse him. Lmao. It was his choice to be a great and present dad, and he was happy about it, but they made it all about her being awful which just isn’t true. It’s weird because I have been very sheltered from them because I migrated to the US, but listening to snippets of this… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 26/05/21 12:01 AM |
| 5 | About Bennifer and Latina Pickme CultureI don’t think I’d go that far but I do get the sentiment. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 25/05/21 10:39 PM |
| 29 | About Bennifer and Latina Pickme CultureGot you. It’s funny how the “oppression olympics” is only really there when racist people start ranking PoC. I actually would like to date a woke man of color, and avoid white men. I might as well be talking about dating a unicorn as I don’t know if they exist. Pedro Pascal is it for me. I feel positive about Latino men cause I do think that Catholicism is more superficial and less deep-rooted than Protestant Puritanism (which is an invisible danger like a gas leak). Like I guess at least Cathol… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 25/05/21 10:38 PM |
| 23 | About Bennifer and Latina Pickme CultureOh I’m a huge JLo fan, like I ride for my Latinas to the end of the Earth no matter what, and my distaste is directed at those men and her decisions around them. I love Jlo even at her worst. But you’re right, and to be honest, as a young girl, it was her acting in roles like “Selena” (where the whole thing is about a talented female artist paying tribute to another talented female artist with no discussion of men, really) that won me over (also the dancing and girl-power songs) but she’s become… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 25/05/21 10:20 PM |
| 2 | A woman I know shared this...😬Can we stop posting people’s profile pictures? This is the second post I’ve seen this week that has the person’s picture. Hopefully mods will make this a rule, idk. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 25/05/21 08:02 PM |
| 10 | How to guide for detaching from a NVMThanks for sharing because I’m in a similar position. Yeah it’s hard because on the one hand, I want to block and delete, and on the other, I just don’t have time for the emotional blowback and the regrets. So I keep postponing it (it’s a long distance “friend” and we’re not talking regularly anymore) until I feel I’ve leveled up enough, and I get some of the stuff done that I need to prioritize. So far it’s definitely worked, and I haven’t felt the need to reach out or anything. I still miss wh… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 23/05/21 09:58 PM |
| 82 | Did you hear about John Mulaney's divorce? I'm shocked.Olivia Munn was obsessed with him and flirting with him at a wedding, inviting them both to hang out after. It’s such low-class pickme behavior (read it from a Jezebel article). So disappointing from her, and I had read her book, and Stan her otherwise. Why on Earth would you go for a married man, especially one with such issues. She needs therapy. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 23/05/21 01:27 PM |
| 23 | My country is breeding ground for LVMThis sounds like El Salvador where there are intense sociopolitical reasons (mass migration, gang violence, lack of government and now dictatorship) for this. The statistics for young women’s sexual abuse are some of the highest in the world. If you ever wanna vent, feel free to dm! | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 23/05/21 01:19 AM |
| 5 | Ladies, what are your physical preferences?-Man of Color -I don’t mind if he’s bald and I don’t need him to be lean, but he must have muscles like a brick house and look like he could lift one 💫 -Black hair & Full beard -The downstairs must match the upstairs (aka must have buff glutes and thighs) -taller than me -must learn how to dance salsa with rhythm That’s really it, I like variety otherwise. Examples: Jason Momoa, the Rock, Sam Asghari, Daniel Dae Kim, Idris Elba 🔥🔥 | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 23/05/21 01:14 AM |
| 124 | My country is breeding ground for LVMLatinas in tha house 🔥 Yeah, I’ll vouch for that. Machismo (hatred of women) and Marianismo (virgin-whore paradigm) are destroying our societies. It’s not even just the men, women in our societies are obsessed with living up to beauty standards and punish other women constantly for literally everything. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 22/05/21 06:10 PM |
| 3 | Fun role playing with a stranger 🙄Can we blur-out ppl’s profile pics when sharing messages online? | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 21/05/21 02:33 PM |
| 13 | A realization that shouldn't have startled me👑👑👑👑 | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 20/05/21 11:27 PM |
| 3 | NEVER call a man attractive to his face.Yeah, I totally agree that average looking guys are like this. But then again not all of us are open to dating dudes like that. If a man or woman can’t take a compliment I simply don’t engage. I’ve met women like this too and they’re awful- no redeeming qualities. What I don’t get is: How is it my problem that they’re looking for social validation? I’m not going to police myself, but then again, I’m already an intimidating person and it doesn’t take much for me to ruffle feathers, so I guess it’… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 20/05/21 10:06 PM |
| 84 | Men are ‘getting away with murder’ by claiming they killed partners during rough sex in ’50 Shades of Grey defence’ (this is why you have to be so picky including with wealthy men.)Was literally just thinking today, since I’ve been watching many serial killer docus, how easy things are for serial killers today with OLD and BDSM... smh | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 19/05/21 02:33 AM |
| 32 | Had a funeral for a close relative a few years ago and it helped me get some closure. They don’t like expensive weddings and now they don’t think people should have funerals either if they want one? Fuck outta hear with your cheap assIt reflects lack of value on life itself, which is made up of these daily rituals. My ex did not respect the trip to the grocery store together. To me, the ability to share this small ritual is so important, it’s a reflection of our values. He rushed through it and said “whatever.” Now it’s a test for any new guy. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 18/05/21 08:10 PM |
| 11 | What's with all the stupid guys?Because men understand capitalism better than women. You don’t get far in capitalism by working more effectively and faster (that only leads to people taking advantage of your labor). I say this as a super feminist and kind of a misandrist. I see a lot of women who are too efficient for their own good. Yes ideally we should all want to do a good job, but practically, you should do whatever gets you the highest profit, salary, capital. My guess is that in your industry, like in most, women get pa… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 18/05/21 06:40 PM |
| 1 | Oh, here's a great idea! Cover your drink! Scrotes will be furious, it helps with vetting AND surviving...Can you please share the username? I believe it’s an important aspect of respecting Tik Tok original content creators. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 17/05/21 01:43 AM |
| 25 | Don’t Let him Skip the CourtshipType of man who on Mother’s Day never gives his mom anything. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 17/05/21 01:39 AM |
| 52 | Céline from Before Sunrise exposing liberal feminism back in 1994From my understanding there were two strand of the sexual liberation movement. One was feminist, and the other was Playboy, which discouraged any sexual images of women where they look mature, intelligent, elegant, mysterious, powerful, etc (Gloria Steinem was a playboy bunny for a bit/ waitress, not pinup- and wrote about it). And then, blah blah brainwash, we get “Legally Blonde.” | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 17/05/21 01:35 AM |
| 5 | Physical Red FlagsYeah so that would be the same google search but where the pics include the face. A more defined jawline (see the Rock) vs a softer, rounder face (see Seth Rogen)... and so on. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 16/05/21 06:36 PM |
| 22 | Physical Red FlagsYes, I’ll add obsession with teeth whitening to this. I remember a narcissistic dude who talked about it a lot and then when I saw an old pic of us together where my teeth were whiter I suddenly realized he was just insecure/competing with me... (eye roll) | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 16/05/21 06:32 PM |
| 12 | Physical Red FlagsThanks, lol, but I’m attracted to men with those so I’m looking for more constructive/specific input. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 16/05/21 06:30 PM |
| 7 | Physical Red FlagsI had this same problem with myself actually. I got a special scale that measures body fat %... so it changed the way I look at how lean/muscly I and other people are. Weight isn’t reliable bc it doesn’t take muscle (of which I have a good amount) into account. There are plenty of pictures online that show what a dude with 5% body fat (fitness model) looks like vs a dude who has 15% (abs) or 25% (usually overweight) and above... look like. example | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 16/05/21 06:29 PM |
| 91 | Use a Google Voice number for businesses, too!Also, never post the same picture on LinkedIn/website/social media as on your online dating profiles. They will find you through reverse image search. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 16/05/21 04:15 PM |
| 28 | British/ European woman in their twenties, how do you navigate dating while sticking to FDS principles?As an American who lived in Scandinavia for a bit, I would suggest to stick to your guns. Men paid for dinner no problem. I do remember sitting with a man who essentially catfishes me, ranted for 45 minutes and offered me a beer at the end. I said no and desperately got out of there as fast as possible. I think it’s a great thing that you’re being saved from bad relationships with men with a wonderful filter. It’s good that 90% of men will show their real selves. Your time is valuable. Going on … | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 10/05/21 05:10 AM |
| 2 | Cultivating female friendships?Answering cause networking is my area of expertise: You probably want to find other women to collaborate with if you teach younger or less experienced women. Last thing you want is to find people who leech off you (I say this from experience). LinkedIn is your friend. Most women are super willing to collaborate, especially if you are in the same industry, etc. (Your plans to help local women should be a sufficient excuse to reach out). Since politics is important to you, I would recommend emaili… | /r/askFDS | 07/05/21 08:26 PM |
| 1 | Need help in the blocking processI’ll answer since no one has so far. Why do you care what he or anyone else thinks after you block him? Why is anything more important than your happiness and piece of mind? This guy clearly sucks and the situation triggered you, so it might be trauma bonding. Focus on your healing after sexual assault, and on rebuilding your self-esteem. It’s natural to make mistakes along the way, so try not to beat yourself up over any of these decisions. You deserve peace of mind. Block him and don’t look ba… | /r/askFDS | 27/04/21 01:41 PM |
| 1 | Any FDS pros here who wouldn't mind being a bit of a mentor?I’m a work in progress myself but feel free to dm me anytime. I usually switch accounts tho, just fyi. | /r/askFDS | 14/04/21 06:07 PM |
| 16 | How to deal/cope with not having been "worth" men's best efforts?Yeah it is a sign, but it’s ok, it takes time. Directing anger to the appropriate party is the first sign of healthy coping. You’re making a false equivalency. He doesn’t not want you because you’re worth less, inherently all human beings are equally worthy of love. People who only love you because of surgery, money, looks, titles, etc, etc, usually don’t really love themselves and need these things in their partner because they are insecure. In terms of the refrain, it really just refers to men… | /r/askFDS | 14/04/21 06:05 PM |
| 7 | How to answer “what brings you to this app?”Tinder is a bad place to look for a HVM. | /r/askFDS | 09/04/21 01:36 AM |
| 27 | How long do you wait for a guy to get tested for STDs until it's a red flag?Girl... he’s lying to you. He’s not incompetent, he’s just hoping you’ll forget about the STD test and have sex with him. Do you really want to stick around and find out why he’s lying about this? Or worse- do you want to put up with his extreme incompetence and lack of responsibility for the rest of your life in the very improbable chance he’s not lying.... lose lose. | /r/askFDS | 09/04/21 01:35 AM |
| 0 | I feel like I can’t trust men anymore and I won’t trust one that says he loves meEngaged. Red flag. This seems like an abusive relationship to me. Is he much older than you? This was clearly a traumatizing experience, and not to question you being asexual which is fine, but if he was abusive this will affect your libido and feeling about sex. Don’t make up your mind about the rest of your life based on this one experience, which was toxic. It’s totally fine to take an indefinite break while you focus on yourself and heal. You’re so young. Just slow down and focus on your car… | /r/askFDS | 08/04/21 05:02 AM |
| 0 | When asked about cooking“Do you cook?” | /r/askFDS | 07/04/21 02:51 AM |
| 1 | Why is this so hardI disagree with the above poster. That’s not how therapy works. You will never stop comparing yourself to people. You will just learn to manage it so it doesn’t disrupt your daily life. Personally, I moved on once I realized as a Latina that the white supremacist industrial complex feeds off of my insecurity. Find an activist womanist group on campus and talk to outspoken Black women about your feelings, and they will set you right for sure. Sisterhood will always carry you further than individu… | /r/askFDS | 06/04/21 02:37 AM |
| 1 | Why is this so hardI get you. Affirmations don’t work on me either. Too practical for that ish. Let’s try something else: You’re literally 20. How are you going to feel when you’re 30 or 50? Are you planning to die once you get a wrinkle? You’re already ahead of so many of those girls, many of who will use all that confidence to walk into bedrooms with NVM who will traumatize them forever. My advice is to set a 10-year, 20-year, and 50-year plan. Watch Grace and Frankie on Netflix, and look forward to being an old… | /r/askFDS | 06/04/21 02:34 AM |
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