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Catcatinm Archive

View 0 posts and 55 comments by Catcatinm on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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0

I would never fuck or date a man who has paid for sex, but it's irrelevant when it comes to friendship. I have a terrible feeling that you feel this way because you think that if anyone pays for sex it's out of a desire for luxury or a sense of entitlement, not out of terrible loneliness and a desire for someone...anyone to acknowledge you as a sexual being, even if the acknowledgement is fraudulent.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/05/17 02:46 AM
2

Your flair describes you as a "Blue Pill Woman." I gotta ask: Ever felt like no dude on earth would fuck you? I mean, not a single one? No matter what you did or said or looked like? Edit: Important bit is "felt like."
/r/PurplePillDebate02/05/17 02:37 AM
1

Why not do it but not tell anyone? And some women are fine with it, anyway. Because they'd dump you if they found out, whether or not you had a clean bill of health, and make sure to tell all of their friends, too. I don't see such men as losers. Men who can't 'get sex' for whatever reason are not losers in my eyes. Okay, they might not "be losers," but you still wouldn't be interested in them. I'm seeing it from the other side. It might be consensual but I know quite a few former prostitutes an…
/r/PurplePillDebate02/05/17 02:28 AM
1

I wouldn't intentionally go out with a man I knew had used prostitutes. This is why I didn't do that when I was still a virgin, despite being desperate, lonely, depressed, with a very low opinion of myself: No matter how sane, safe, and consensual it was, it would make me look like a loser to any woman who found out.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/05/17 01:35 AM
1

They didn't have to waste that money to have sex. Well, if you want to have sex at some point and no one will fuck you... I'd be pretty mad if I were in the position alluded to by the OP and someone described it as a "waste" despite that the critic themselves has had an active sex life.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/05/17 01:33 AM
1

Maybe you're not like that. Good for you. Blargh. If I don't have anything nice to say, etc. etc.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/05/17 01:24 AM
1

I'm just not that interested in them. When weighed in the balance I'd rather be single than in a relationship that isn't right for me. As a single woman I can go on dates if I want to or I can just sit at home and run data analysis for four days solid without feeling like I'm letting anyone down. I like the freedom. Congrats. Imagining that sort of freedom makes me weep before bed. Edit: Repeating my earlier comment.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/05/17 01:19 AM
1

I'd like to change u/Hairbrainer's view, too, but I don't think adopting a confrontational tone is gonna do the trick.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/05/17 08:53 PM
1

I'm not sure what you're after with your second paragraph. Are you being sarcastic in enjoying being asked out by a woman? Nope. Just saying it's awesome in a resigned, depressed way. I wish they'd do it more. I doubt I'll live to see it, tho.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/05/17 08:03 PM
1

I'm not denying that it's rude, but that wouldn't necessarily make it false. You also don't have any evidence that it's true or your advice warranted other than that you've read my anonymous whining on the internet. We're talking past each other here. I think more women than you think do that, but unfortunately you're not on the receiving end. Aside from apps like Bumble that force it, there are women out there who can and do make the first move for men they feel like they can connect with. I've…
/r/PurplePillDebate01/05/17 07:47 PM
1

I'm not saying this makes men evil, or that 100% of men do this, but it's a general trend backed by statistics. Okee dokee. I'm also not saying that if men only messaged women in their league the women would all be DTF. Sigh. Why all of these assumptions about the way men operate? I'm not looking for "DTF" women online. I just want to connect with somebody new and allow the relationship to develop organically into friends, lovers, partners, all of the above, or nothing at all. Men are far more i…
/r/PurplePillDebate01/05/17 07:40 PM
2

Sigh. This is what I fear. Women just don't want men in their lives as much as men want women. Pretty hard not to feel like you're in the inferior position given that reality.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/05/17 07:22 PM
2

How do you have this feeling? I'm married and I've never even done online dating, I'm gleaning this from what I've seen and heard from friends. Oops. Well let's just say I fear that your female friends' filters (and those of women in general) are probably a lot stricter than mine. Same here, although this seems like a female thing, usually. There was even a study that showed men don't factor their own attractiveness when pursuing mates as much as women do. I pushed back because it seemed like a …
/r/PurplePillDebate01/05/17 07:14 PM
2

If you get trapped in the cycle of having to constantly write eloquent shit to woo a female, while she writes back a few lines here or there, and just passively judges you over and over, you already lost. It's very discouraging, especially when you feel like the burden to keep the conversation going is exclusively on you. Like it's a job interview or something. "Hey thanks for writing me." (5 word response that doesn't reply to anything in the initial message, let alone bring up something new) L…
/r/PurplePillDebate01/05/17 07:10 PM
2

I mean, I don't wanna assume that just because they sent a low effort message that they're "just looking for any man to fill the emptiness in their lives." I just don't wanna be lectured about how to craft a nice message when the lecturer believes that their gender exempts them from that same requirement. Breaking down gender roles and all. Not saying that the parent comment believes that or that the commenter doesn't in fact write nice messages, but it's a pretty common hypocrisy ime.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/05/17 07:05 PM
2

That's why I lead with me essentially stating that, yes, it's totally presumptuous. Its not fun hearing that... Look, I don't wanna get in a fight here, but it kinda reads to me like, "I'm about to be rude to you. <Proceeds to be rude>" I didn't wanna talk about me or my situation beyond using it to support an argument that for someone who's more sensitive or has a low opinion of themselves - whether that opinion is justified or not - online dating as a guy or dating as a guy in general is a pre…
/r/PurplePillDebate01/05/17 07:00 PM
4

That's pretty presumptuous and a lot of unsolicited advice. My only point was that if I were going to shoulder the burden of being sought instead of being the suitor, I think I'd choose sought every time.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/05/17 06:40 PM
2

I don't either. I'm agreeing with you that I'd actually appreciate a message like that. Like, why do I have to have a witty opener or something? It's hard to make someone laugh whom you've never met anyway.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/05/17 04:36 PM
2

Wait, so you don't filter out people you aren't attracted to physically? Of course I do. Everyone does. I just have a feeling that my filter is probably a lot looser than yours. I say this because men generally don't factor in their own attractiveness when sending messages. I don't like dating people who are ridiculously better looking than I am. Feels intimidating and lopsided for some reason. And I'm kinda the opposite to the dues you're describing as far as my thought process in whether to se…
/r/PurplePillDebate01/05/17 04:35 PM
0

That said, I don't see anythingn wrong with the stupidmodernband message. It's pretty refreshing to connect with someone who doesn't feel the need to be forcefully clever all the time.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/05/17 04:31 PM
3

Guy who's shooting way out of his league- not boyfriend material, at least if she has normal standards This is a pretty big catch-all category. It basically means "anyone I'm not attracted to." Lemme tell ya, if I as a dude filtered out people I wasn't initially physically or personally attracted to, I'd probably be alone my entire life. This is why dudes like me envy the position of women in online dating: They can afford to be picky about what they want.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/05/17 04:27 PM
7

This was actually also true of the one word openers. I gave a bunch of them a chance, too. Every woman who has ever messaged me on an online dating platform has opened the convo exactly like that. "Hey" or somesuch. Women love to dish out the advice about writing nice messages, but in my experience they themselves don't follow it at all. I didn't want to give them a chance, but I did because I knew there wasn't going to be any other interest coming my way anytime soon.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/05/17 04:23 PM
6

It can get exhausting. You know what's exhausting? Sending messages. Sending messages is utterly exhausting. Don't send canned messages. Don't reference her pictures. Don't reference her profile too much. Don't assume she'll write back. Don't assume that because she's looked at you she's interested. Don't assume anything. You're not entitled to anything. But oh! Make sure to be funny, cute, charming, interesting, ambitious, whatever else. Convey that in three sentences or less. Any longer and yo…
/r/PurplePillDebate01/05/17 04:18 PM
2

Took me 9 months of online dating and an awful lot of depressingly mediocre dates I'm so envious. Like...you could actually hold out for someone you liked instead of jumping on the first person who will tolerate you, because you have lots of people who like you. You know there's not going to be a dearth of opportunities in a nine month period (or a year or years), so you can choose. I like "depressingly mediocre" dates with women I met online, because even though the person doesn't like me, they…
/r/PurplePillDebate01/05/17 04:09 PM
3

I know. Sorry I didn't mean to come off hostile if I did. I just thought you were drawing conclusions/speculating in a way that wasn't supported by the evidence and made a comment not really directed at you personally that we have to be careful not to do that. Like, I want to believe the guy's account of things, largely because I'm a guy and can somewhat sympathize with the man's position here, if in fact he's the one telling the truth. But since we don't know that, I have to resign myself to th…
/r/PurplePillDebate30/04/17 09:35 PM
2

Thanks for the refresher. God it's been so long I can't even remember the other burden of proof. You know...the one that's higher than preponderance but lower than beyond reasonable doubt...or the special admin one.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/04/17 06:04 PM
3

It wasn't, though. The tribunal found for the man.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/04/17 05:59 PM
3

It'd be pretty funny if you couldn't sue for defamation because you're now a public figure solely because you've been made infamous by a scandalous accusation.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/04/17 04:24 PM
1

Wut? "More likely than not" is the burden of proof for most non-criminal cases in the real legal system. Universities just adopted it for certain kinds of disciplinary hearings. Yes, some did lower the burden from something more akin to the criminal "beyond a reasonable doubt," and we can argue about whether that was a good idea, and sure, you can make a case that a false allegation of sexual assault is uniquely damaging to someone's reputation and that the burden of proof should be higher - and…
/r/PurplePillDebate30/04/17 04:18 PM
3

Easy to understand that she felt violated when the guy suddenly began choking/slapping/penetrating anally. That's her account of what happened. While Sulkowicz has always said that they started out having consensual sex, her account diverges drastically from Nungesser’s at this point. According to Sulkowicz, he suddenly and brutally assaulted her, then picked up his clothes and left without a word, leaving her stunned and shattered on the bed. According to Nungesser, they briefly engaged in anal…
/r/PurplePillDebate30/04/17 04:12 PM
5

http://www.thedailybeast.com/articles/2015/02/03/columbia-student-i-didn-t-rape-her This is a tough case because both parties tell a pretty believable story. I haven't looked quite as deeply into what happened with the other accusers, but wow. I mean, there's almost no evidence of any kind to definitively settle who's telling the truth. Since this case touches on a really sensitive issue and it looks like there's just no way we're gonna know what really happened, I'm gonna have to remain aggress…
/r/PurplePillDebate30/04/17 03:57 PM
1

They start with the presumption of guilt. I don't think they do. Isn't the standard the same as for non-criminal cases, i.e. more likely than not?
/r/PurplePillDebate30/04/17 03:33 PM
3

That is the cops' job. They did that job. They found opposite evidence. This is a good response. Buuuuut... Deal with reality. This banshee will just have to find some other way of dealing with the fact that he didn't want her. This sort of comment is precisely why people continue to argue about this case. Seems justice was served, although we still have to settle the matter of whether this guy deserves compensation for the damage to his reputation. Why keep insulting the woman with terms like "…
/r/PurplePillDebate30/04/17 03:32 PM
5

Former attorney here. You're giving the parent comment very short shrift. No offense, but when I read your posts about what "the law is" I'm really confused.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/04/17 03:28 PM
6

I think you're getting pushback here because because you keep insisting that we don't know whether this man actually raped this woman. Thing is...we all know that. You're right. We weren't there. But that's not how our society rolls. I think if we're gonna have respect for the rule of law and the presumption of innocence, we have to take it seriously when The university finds that it is more likely than not that the alleged rape didn't occur The criminal justice system finds that there isn't suf…
/r/PurplePillDebate30/04/17 03:24 PM
1

Oh good god. I need to get out of here.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/04/17 04:53 AM
5

Now, I won't deny that once I was ready to snap out of it, it wasn't difficult, and women do have it easier, I think, when it comes to making new friends and finding potential relationships. I disagree thought that the pain of being discarded the desperation, that emptiness that remains when someone you love leaves you is not the same. Honestly it wasn't the rejection that hit hardest. It was the idea that she's gonna have no problem getting another person when she's over it, but I most certainl…
/r/PurplePillDebate26/04/17 04:22 AM
7

I know that men and women share that feeling/fear. That's not what I resent. It's the ease of the rebound when they decide they want to have friends and lovers again. I might just be too fucked up in the head to see things clearly, but it seems to me that when a woman decides she's ready for friends and a lover or lovers again, they "just happen." They come to her. The way I see it is that unless I'm 100% awesome in all the ways it's possible to be awesome, no woman's gonna wanna touch me with a…
/r/PurplePillDebate26/04/17 04:10 AM
5

I'm aware. I just haven't earned it. If I work harder and be a better person it might come. Maybe I'm just fucking biased and it only seems to me like the women in my life don't have as steep a hill to climb to get those things. I really don't know anymore. Reading this sub has not helped my self esteem though. Gotta get away.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/04/17 03:35 AM
5

No. I sink or swim on my own at this point. It's not the noble existence the software goons at RP paint it as. I'm about two paychecks away from being homeless. Better than one! Anyway yeah. I'm a bit tired of all the ranting and raving about how men have it so easy. In fact, after browsing this sub tonight for some reason (probably googled "reddit dating advice" yet again, with terrible results), I'm just about ready to lose it. So g'night all! I'll be fine. Just can't talk here anymore for now…
/r/PurplePillDebate26/04/17 03:32 AM
11

Not really. I mean, they weren't alone anymore, and they didn't try that hard. They just kinda existed the way I do: went to work and went home, over and over again. Difference is, someone else took notice and wanted them. Other people - friends, potential lovers, whatever - wanted to reach out to them and invite them into their lives. I see this a lot with the women I know. It's hard not to generalize it to all women, especially since the pattern holds so strongly in my life over time and throu…
/r/PurplePillDebate26/04/17 03:20 AM
8

I don't give a shit about how many other penises a woman's vagina has touched. Most men don't, ime. What we're most scared of is being discarded and left behind, especially since ("female") exes seem to have no trouble at all getting someone else to fill the place in their life that I was supposedly so perfect for while I spend a year or more alone and desperate. It's happened several times, to me and other men I know, and it's not pretty for us. I have a sinking feeling that there's no "female"…
/r/PurplePillDebate26/04/17 03:05 AM
3

The ones in my life do. I'm just a stepping stone. :(
/r/PurplePillDebate26/04/17 02:59 AM
1

I like you.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/04/17 02:51 AM
3

Sounds like we're probably after similar things, then. I'd just like for people to state their position more clearly. My intended audience isn't relevant. Just whether what I'm saying is true or false, right or wrong, valid or invalid, sound or unsound.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/04/17 02:40 AM
3

Sorry if I'm being dense but I don't understand your point. Edit: I wasn't responding to your OP so much as that person's comment on your post.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/04/17 02:34 AM
9

Should I hesitate to agree with someone with that red flair? ;) I don't have a lot of respect for intellectually lazy people. If you think something, state it clearly and make an argument for it. Don't insinuate. Don't prevaricate. Make clear, definitive statements, propositions that others can contest or arguments whose validity people can challenge. Rolling eyes and sarcasm and whatnot are not arguments. They're empty at best and, as you say, "signals" at worst.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/04/17 12:45 AM
1

Awesome jaw. Shorter hair would'a been even better. Androgyny is awesome. :)
/r/PurplePillDebate26/04/17 12:38 AM
1

Straight dude here, though possibly gender-nonconfirming. Most of us have "types," mate. Mine seems to be short hair ("buzz cut"), tall, thin and lanky body, and an energetic, athletic, yet overly-intellectual demeanor. Of course I can be attracted to other "types" of women if I get to know 'em, but if you want a purely physical, fetishy description...yup. That's me. I don't think it's that unusual. :) Edit: Didn't address your main point. Most people have "types," don't they? Specific fantasies…
/r/PurplePillDebate26/04/17 12:30 AM
2

This kind of post makes me never want to talk about my problems with anyone ever again. Therapists regard my complaints, even though they focus solely on my own inadequacies, failures and shortcomings, as indignant, angry whining. I know that the women in my life don't receive similar treatment. They're taken seriously and people make sincere efforts to help them, regardless of how self-centered their thoughts really are. Disclaimer: We're all self-centered from time to time, especially with psy…
/r/PurplePillDebate26/04/17 12:18 AM
3

Sorry, maybe it's the depression talking, but I just don't see any value in any of the three choices you offered. I'd rather be myself and be liked and valued for who I am. I think if I were born in say...classical Athens or something, even as an rich free citizen, I'd be trampled underfoot by the men who like to compete and fight and whatnot. I just don't have it in me. The only thing I don't like is being told I'm x or y "by nature," because my nature is kinda relentlessly cooperative and gene…
/r/PurplePillDebate26/04/17 12:08 AM
1

No kidding. Last year I decided to go to the local mental health center because I was suicidal. They didn't take me seriously, but a female friend of mine (though not suicidal) had spent a lot of time cutting herself and they took that really seriously. So...even though I felt no psychological compulsion to do so, I did exactly that. I cut myself on my stomach a lot. Yes, it was "for the attention." It worked. They finally took me seriously. Got on a med and no longer want to kill myself, though…
/r/PurplePillDebate25/04/17 11:59 PM
1

What I'm most self-conscious about in this "new era" as you put it is that women can now outcompete me in all the traditional realms of being a man - career, money, place in social hierarchy - and judge me on it, but that I can't partake at all in the more sensual reality of being a woman. I can't be pretty or admired or well-liked because of who I am. No. I'm still stuck being judged by what I do and what other people - and that now includes women - think of that. I'm a professional failure by …
/r/PurplePillDebate25/04/17 11:43 PM
4

28-year-old dude with body issues here: I know you're arguing against those RedPill dudes and their (imo preposterous) opinion that women age worse than men, but there are guys out there (like me) who think like you do and are super paranoid about the body-ravaging effects of aging + testosterone. I think it's probably worse for men, actually. I'd rather not be male for this and many other reasons.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/04/17 11:19 PM
2

This post prompted me to go from lurking to posting. As a dude suffering from serious anxiety, depression, social anxiety, loneliness, gender/body dysphoria, and isolation, I have to say that something in me really dislikes the notion that women "take things out on themselves" while men lash out. I've never, ever lashed out at anybody other than myself. I'm relentlessly polite, self-effacing, quiet, and miserable and lonely. What gets my goat is that it's obviously worse for a disturbed person w…
/r/PurplePillDebate25/04/17 11:08 PM
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