Celacious Archive

Upvotes	Title	Category	Author	Subreddit	Date (UTC)
20	I heard and read that I would be ostracized by our couple friends, but the reality is worse than I thought!		Celacious	/r/Divorce_Men	04/07/19 07:38 PM

Upvotes	Comment on	Subreddit	Date (UTC)
1	Leaving tonight after work I'm glad you're taking very positive steps! Best wishes.	/r/Divorce_Men	17/12/19 11:02 PM
2	Supervised visits and my ex Kudos to you for your nearly complete honesty in admitting your various fuck ups in dealing with CPS, your son, and other aspects of the system. I gently suggest it would be helpful to go full-bore and fully admit to yourself that your predicament is entirely of your own making. You are not a victim. That said, it's time to move forward. You're going to need to create a substantial evidentiary record in the presence of a credible, neutral supervisor (that is, very likely one who is paid) to esta…	/r/Divorce_Men	12/07/19 04:21 AM
2	It’s getting to me.. Hang in there, man. I can see how this situation would get to you. Can your lawyers get the court to issue a temporary order regarding custody while the case is pending? On the positive side, your kids are probably young enough that they won't remember any of this when they are older. I know that doesn't help the way it's tearing at you, though.	/r/Divorce_Men	05/07/19 03:41 PM
2	Not coping well Please take suicide off the table--at the very least, you have kids and have to think of the impact of your actions on them. I have fleetingly entertained such thoughts from time to time, so I have some idea of the intensity of the pain behind the thoughts. Please make an appointment with a therapist right away, and call the suicide hotline if you need to. You said that talking to your wife is making things worse. So don't do that. Go no contact for a while except for issues directly relating to…	/r/Divorce_Men	05/07/19 01:55 PM
5	I heard and read that I would be ostracized by our couple friends, but the reality is worse than I thought! That's definitely possible and indeed likely with the very religious friend I referred to as Joe, above, and his wife (who was a college roommate of my stbx wife over two decades ago). I assume I am now an outsider to be shunned for my alleged transgressions, while my wife is the pure, aggrieved party. Of course, they would be horrified to know, for example, that my wife shunned sexual activity with me for the past 6 years. They view that as a wife's biblical duty. Of course, I'm not going to sh…	/r/Divorce_Men	04/07/19 11:41 PM
4	I heard and read that I would be ostracized by our couple friends, but the reality is worse than I thought! Thank you for reading my rant, and for your kind words. I'm not sure that I've been unfriended permanently--they may just be giving me and my stbx space to do what we need to do during these early days. Of course, she moved 6.5 hours away two weeks ago, so will also need new IRL friends. Anyway, it is indeed a vetting process, and I'm pretty good at occupying myself in the meantime. Happy 4th to you too!	/r/Divorce_Men	04/07/19 09:05 PM
4	I heard and read that I would be ostracized by our couple friends, but the reality is worse than I thought! Thank you. If there were "rant" flair here, I would have labeled my post as such. I just can't imagine unfriending my buddies because they are getting divorced. Anyway, it's early days and I have a lot of rebuilding to do, including making new friends. But it does suck.	/r/Divorce_Men	04/07/19 08:46 PM
2	Ex Spreading Accusations of Abuse Apparently, you "abused" her by entering into a failed relationship with her. I guess if she's honest, she "abused" you too by failing to be the partner you wanted and needed. Hang in there, and give it some time. This will all blow over sooner or later. It sounds like taking steps to directly refute her non-specific allegations could backfire and encourage her to gin up even more allegations. I'm sorry you're going through this, but in this hysterical era of social media and rampant online defa…	/r/Divorce_Men	04/07/19 07:58 PM
2	Mediation on Tuesday any advice? My pleasure. I hope it works out. My only additions would be that the length of time you make payments can be another part of the mediation. So I ended up with payments that decrease every few years until eventually reaching zero. Also, up-front cash can be used to reduce payment amounts.	/r/Divorce_Men	01/07/19 05:43 PM
3	Mediation on Tuesday any advice? Aside from legal fees, you should definitely avoid a court proceeding if at all possible because judges have tremendous latitude in family court, and therefore can be unpredictable. But going to court would also be unpredictable for your wife. So mediation under these circumstances is usually a game of chicken because neither side really wants to go to court. Go in secretly knowing exactly what your absolutely highest number would be that won't devastate you. Start at half that or so, but always…	/r/Divorce_Men	01/07/19 03:46 AM
3	Question for you all My take: that was a really shitty thing to do. But you really have no choice other than to accept what happened, focus on you and what you need and can do to improve yourself now, and move forward as best you can. And when you're ready, there will be another fish in the sea. But don't rush that part (that's something I have trouble with, because the easiest thing to do is to find someone to distract you and make your ego feel better).	/r/Divorce_Men	29/06/19 06:53 PM
1	Multiple versions of standard orders Excellent advice!	/r/Divorce_Men	16/06/19 03:06 AM
1	18 Years in - So desperately want out I really feel for you. It sound like you should start planning right away with professionals, including (as suggested above) a good counselor who suits you and a legal consultation. You will need strength and to know the lay of the land, so to speak. That said, and it doesn't sound like our wives are similar except that they're both dependents, please try a non-adversarial approach first. We were able to negotiate a settlement that works for both of us with minimal legal help, thereby saving ten…	/r/Divorce_Men	16/06/19 02:42 AM
1	Would you divorce your partner for an online relationship? While there appears to be a certain seamy Anthony Weiner-esque vibe to the online relationship, I think the situation warrants more exploration with a counselor. I think you need more facts to make a decision. Directly to your question, though, I probably wouldn't divorce my wife for "merely" engaging in an online relationship. We are getting divorced, however, for a panoply of other reasons that doesn't include inappropriate online activity.	/r/Divorce_Men	31/05/19 02:19 AM