ChadEsquire Archive

Upvotes	Title	Category	Author	Subreddit	Date (UTC)

Upvotes	Comment on	Subreddit	Date (UTC)
1	Is there a correlation between political standpoint and the “pill” you sympathize with? First, I’m not sure there’s as big a correlation as many think there is between political identity and demonstrated romantic and sexual attitudes. There are left wingers who are very dogmatic and demanding of their partners in their relationships (not the ‘free to be you and me’ that you’d might expect). There are conservatives who actually practice rather egalitarian relationships (put that monogamy on a pedestal :) ). There are a surprising number of gay conservatives. There are tradcon pastor…	/r/PurplePillDebate	13/12/18 10:21 PM
2	Q4ALL: How much does "artifice" matter to you? I view personality and the self as elaborate, time-worn constructions. So, I wouldn't be too worried if someone was following a strategy or playbook. Everyone reads dumb self-help from time to time. What would worry me though is if the contents of the strategy were directly and deeply inimical to my interests (i.e. sociopathic in intent). Otherwise, the world is a stage! Play on player. If this playbook was making my partner "perfect" and keeping our relationship functioning well, I suppose I wo…	/r/PurplePillDebate	30/11/18 07:04 AM
1	Q4RP: Where is the line drawn? All things in moderation and all that :)	/r/PurplePillDebate	23/11/18 09:56 PM
1	Q4RP: Where is the line drawn? Solid comment! I know if I was always keeping score, I’d be miserable (happened once for me and ended poorly). Many people’s obsession here with the detailed minutia of their partners past sexual activity strikes me as unhealthy. On balance I’d prefer to date a woman with a ‘less complicated’ past, but I don’t take that idea to a farcical extreme. There are downsides to dating the opposite ends of the spectrum, extremely promiscuous or extremely chaste people. Folks should be careful not to play…	/r/PurplePillDebate	23/11/18 09:23 PM
3	Q4RP: Where is the line drawn? I mean maybe hardcore redpillers sure. But once we get into light red or purple, I’m not sure the average guy on this sub has this super naive conception that women depreciate like used cars. A lot of men here are quite rationally concerned however, about a woman’s degree of attraction to them (which they are rightly or wrongly using as a proxy for loyalty and other traits). Some guys be wanting virgin unicorn Cinderella chicks and others just want to better their odds of finding a solid, fulfil…	/r/PurplePillDebate	23/11/18 08:59 PM
3	Q4RP: Where is the line drawn? People take this topic to a stupid extreme in this sub. I think the average guy wants to feel special to his significant other and see this demonstrated through her actions. A piece of gender wisdom that comes to mind is that “men fear that they are replaceable and women fear they are inferior”. As a guy I relate to this. It’s not about getting a woman’s best (whatever that means), but wanted to feel deeply desired/wanting my desire reciprocated. I’ve noticed a lot of women don’t make a ton of e…	/r/PurplePillDebate	23/11/18 08:38 PM
2	Red pill says fuck other girls while in ltr. What do you say? Unless the nature of your thing is explicitly open, it’s always going to be a bad idea to fuck around. Women recognize your “dread game” and then they grow to despise you. It’s fine to be a man with options, but at some point you have to decide what’s more important: your budding relationship or your freedom to play the field and enjoy those options. Very few women are truly amenable to giving you both.	/r/PurplePillDebate	23/11/18 08:22 PM
3	Q4BOTH - What is some genuinely advice from the other side Blue Pill-Just be yourself (Specialization is a powerful tool in life, instead of trying to appeal to everyone, tailor yourself to fit your target demo). Most people are essentially good or at least decent. Always focusing on worst case scenarios will turn you into a misanthrope like Scrooge. Red Pill-Sometimes who you currently are isn't enough to attract the people you most desire (Work on yourself, express yourself differently, raise your SMV). Some people chock full of dark triad characteris…	/r/PurplePillDebate	20/11/18 05:40 AM
2	Do men really prefer docile/agreeable women /bang maids, or do they in fact fall for women who are slightly difficult? If I’m honest, I prefer slightly difficult women. It’s not so much about challenge in the dating process though, which if contrived, is deeply annoying. Men liking “challenge” is one of the dumbest ideas in magazines like Cosmo. It is an example of gender solipsism. I’m used to getting rejected, so what’s alluring is a woman who’s somewhat receptive to getting to know me (not a doormat, but open to things). Otherwise, I will assume disinterest and move on. Agree with other men here that it’s not…	/r/PurplePillDebate	17/11/18 07:15 PM
1	How to let go of past resentments/regrets of missing out on dating when I was in high school/college You can’t rewrite the past, but you can live differently in the present (cliched as fuck, I know). Accepting your past will likely involve acknowledging a version of yourself that falls a good bit short of your ideal. Sure past you may have missed out on things, but present you is a more effective, more attractive, more optimistic individual. Another point to consider is that people often exaggerate the amount of sex they are having and underemphasize exactly how much that early heartbreak sucks…	/r/PurplePillDebate	15/11/18 04:30 AM
1	Why Are Young People Having So Little Sex? - The Atlantic Exactly! You're going to fail sometimes with or without advantages.	/r/PurplePillDebate	14/11/18 10:23 PM
1	Why Are Young People Having So Little Sex? - The Atlantic Exactly this! I venture every generation has to finds its way with dating. It's an essential part of adolescent development. However, what this article is discussing is a pronounced cultural attitude shift towards dating, sex and relationships. What if Stacy and Chad are too insecure to even meet? What if therefore the prophecy of the Pillosphere never gets consummated? What if the safetyism generation never even has sex because there's no participation trophy for it? At least we will have avoca…	/r/PurplePillDebate	14/11/18 09:48 PM
1	Weekly Community Chat Megathread (11 November 2018) Faking it till you make it isn't a terrible strategy. But two things stymie it. One, you can subconsciously or internally feel incompetent or low value and this bleeds through into your interactions. Two, other people can assess your place in the hierarchy, even if you have a lot of bluster. Confidence matters a lot, but it has to be believable. I.e I'm tall, but no one would believe me if I said I'm an NFL tight end...	/r/PurplePillDebate	14/11/18 09:41 PM
11	Why Are Young People Having So Little Sex? - The Atlantic He's a really chill dude. It basically means people need to get off their ass and go talk to people if they want dating success.	/r/PurplePillDebate	14/11/18 06:26 AM
39	Why Are Young People Having So Little Sex? - The Atlantic The article is worth a read in full and touches upon a lot of topics that PPD discusses and debates constantly. Some highlights: On millennial dating culture: “We hook up because we have no social skills. We have no social skills because we hook up.” "Christian Rudder, a co-founder of OkCupid (one of the less appearance-centric dating services, in that it encourages detailed written profiles), reported in 2009 that the male users who were rated most physically attractive by female users got 11 t…	/r/PurplePillDebate	14/11/18 02:17 AM
2	Off Topic Thread: Election 2018 (10 November 2018) For sure. If they want to take back the Senate in 2020, they will need to be on point with their messaging and turnout efforts.	/r/PurplePillDebate	14/11/18 02:03 AM
1	How common are these PPD tropes in real life? I can relate a lot to this. I feel like I'm becoming both more aware and more attractive as my 20's continue. This blog post about ok cupid data reached some interesting conclusions about preferences . It found that men are most attractive in online dating at 26 in absolute terms, but around that time also acquire a relative advantage in the dating game that expands into their 30's. https://thesocietypages.org/socimages/2015/07/03/ok-cupid-data-on-sex-desirability-and-age/	/r/PurplePillDebate	14/11/18 12:53 AM
1	Off Topic Thread: Election 2018 (10 November 2018) It's complicated. Assuming Trump trends worse, the Democrats should be able to get a couple of pickups. But the battle will be fought on GOP home turf in 2020. "in 2020, the GOP will have to defend more Senate seats than Democrats. As of now, there will be 22 Republican Senate seats on the line, while Democrats will only need to protect 12 seats. Numbers alone don't tell the whole story, however. Many of the seats Republicans have to defend in 2020 are in solid red states like Wyoming, Arkansas …	/r/PurplePillDebate	14/11/18 12:24 AM
2	Off Topic Thread: Election 2018 (10 November 2018) I was referring to the deepening trend of the GOP getting a greater percentage of the popular vote in its heartland strongholds. I.e. they outperformed their polling in states such as Indiana (defeating Donnelly) and North Dakota (defeating Heitkamp). Obviously, the GOP faltered this election in purple, suburban districts and lost a bunch of house seats. To be successful in the 2020 presidential race, Republicans need to improve a bit in the suburbs (think educated suburban women) and Democrats …	/r/PurplePillDebate	14/11/18 12:20 AM
1	How common are these PPD tropes in real life? Hey, it happens man! Interesting story. I think every guy has a couple of mulligans like that.	/r/PurplePillDebate	14/11/18 12:07 AM
1	Q4w how do you avoid being pumped and dumped? Thank you, this is a good comment. I think it’s definitely a cultural myth that men will never stick around if she doesn’t put out quickly. It’s obviously true that waiting won’t work with guys that just want sex or are lukewarm to begin with. But it’s a pretty sound dating strategy IMO. As a guy, I think it is an effective way of telegraphing that a woman wants to get to know me more seriously for a potential relationship (it’s hard to know a woman’s intentions in 2018). The caveat would be tha…	/r/PurplePillDebate	13/11/18 09:23 PM
2	How common are these PPD tropes in real life? Two stories for y’all. I knew a guy in college, brilliant and interesting to be around (always knew the lyrics to classic rock songs, which I liked). I think he may be a bit autistic. It was always interesting to hear him talk about approaching women. Some people struggle with mentalizing the steps in the dating game and he was definitely one. Just totally a fish out of water. Another “nice guy” I know is actually quite attractive on paper but very OCD. He would always fixate on certain things w…	/r/PurplePillDebate	13/11/18 03:20 AM
7	Do you think it is impossible for men and women to really understand each othe I really like this comment. A female friend and I had a conversation about the Kavanaugh debacle. We both felt we benefitted from hearing each other’s perspectives and that the details we fixated on were in part influenced by our gendered experiences. It’s hard to remember sometimes that other people live in a very different reality due to their independent personhood/own catalogue of life experiences.	/r/PurplePillDebate	13/11/18 01:00 AM
1	Do you think it is impossible for men and women to really understand each othe I feel like it’s an inversion of the nice guy phenomena. A certain cohort of women participate in sex/romance like it is a spectator sport and like you should be happy you made the team. That won’t cut it with any guy who’s been around the block a few times. Just like most nice guys don’t realize that a bare minimum of pro-social behavior and conversation skills isn’t what gets the girl, some women don’t internalize that guys are often on the hunt for a specific kind of women. What kind? I know …	/r/PurplePillDebate	13/11/18 12:46 AM
2	What makes PPD work as a space were people from different communities can share conflicting ideas? I’m somewhat sympathetic to the premise that lifestyle and political leanings are correlated on some level, but I believe drug use is a pretty bad place to establish that correlation. Drug use mostly reveals openness to drug use in a society where most people don’t do hard drugs. Both Bush and Obama did coke for example in their youth. Libertarian conservatives such as myself are fine with a panoply of drug use and believe it’s an infringement of people’s liberties to use the government to disco…	/r/PurplePillDebate	12/11/18 09:15 PM
1	Weekly Community Chat Megathread (11 November 2018) Fellow shy guy chiming in. Confidence it seems to me is built through competence. If you don’t have many demonstrated successes with women, you will struggle to default to a confident state. I think the trick is feeling confident in your earnest efforts and attempts to better yourself and not necessarily the immediate results of those actions. One of Ryan Holiday’s books has this great anecdote about Bill Belichick who credits his success in part to his commitment to process. Just keep swimming.	/r/PurplePillDebate	11/11/18 10:39 PM
1	Off Topic Thread: Election 2018 (10 November 2018) Both sides can point towards wins for their camp, although Tuesday was an obvious tactical victory for the Democrats. For blue team, they now control a Chamber of Congress (one is always better than none) and they also had an excellent showing in suburban districts (which could help tip the balance if repeated in 2020). For red team, many red states became even redder this cycle. Despite performing even worse in places such as California, the Republicans remain more popular in more states than t…	/r/PurplePillDebate	11/11/18 02:18 AM
3	Afraid to fall in love because of past experiences, no self-esteem One thing that jumps out at me from your post is the emphasis on one or two girls. From experience, I can say that one of the worst possible approaches to dating is focusing on a few women that you find attractive but don't know particularly well. This is for multiple reasons. First, dating is a numbers game and most men need to keep playing slots for a while to win the jackpot. It is therefore inefficient and risky to invest lots of feelings in women you barely know. Two, the best way to improv…	/r/PurplePillDebate	11/11/18 01:39 AM
1	Being directly sexual is considered creepy and pretending to be friends with a girl just to get sex is also considered wrong. If both of these methods are wrong then how are you supposed to go about showing interest? Subtlety is the name of the game today	/r/PurplePillDebate	10/11/18 04:59 AM
1	What makes a man respect a woman? Interesting question.. Of those three, I’d say intelligence takes the cake. Power is like one of those medicines advertised on tv that comes with tons of side affects in the fine print (odious personality and dirty deeds often required to achieve it). Looks are a dime a dozen; they may incite interest but not respect. A smart man knows that looks and character are not perfectly correlated (some beautiful women are loyal to a fault, some homely women cheat up a storm). Intelligence is quite impor…	/r/PurplePillDebate	09/11/18 10:59 PM
12	AMALT Honestly, this is just the inverse of AWALT. It is logically flimsy and emotionally based. As a guy in his twenties, I am already tired of interacting with 18 year old women (so immature, christ). Saying that 16-22 year olds are who men most want to be with exaggerates the case for these survey findings. Women are perhaps most physically attractive in that range (seems a little early IMO). But a steep "wall" seems like a redpill revenge fantasy. In any case, a lot of other considerations beyond …	/r/PurplePillDebate	08/11/18 04:53 AM
2	Q4Men: Where do men’s expectations about dating and sex come from? Hmm, this is an interesting question. My thoughts... Starting with 1) I have long sensed that media portrayal of relationships was exaggerated or inaccurate. Nonetheless, back in the day my friends and I still relished in watching the American Pie movies even though they bared little similarity to high school. Nerdy, good guy doesn't always win the heart of Stacy in the end. Conversely, sometimes Chad is athletic and really smart and also has a heart of gold. Personally, I've never really wanted…	/r/PurplePillDebate	07/11/18 09:10 PM
2	Q4Men: what does your minimum looks threshold for love and marriage look like? Honestly, it isn't really a precise threshold, for me at least. I could see myself marrying someone in the cute to utterly gorgeous range. Agree with other posters that looks are somewhat in the eye of the beholder. Obviously things like personality, intellectual curiosity, compatible interests, kind and warm personality, good conversationalist, emotional consistency matter a ton when you are considering spending thirty plus years with a person, instead of one night or a couple of weeks.	/r/PurplePillDebate	04/11/18 06:36 AM
11	Off Topic Thread: For The Lurkers (03 November 2018) I'll bite! I lurk here because I have some weird sociological interest in other people's perspectives on romantic and sexual relationships. Unlike some other internet communities on these topics that are mostly dedicated to circlejerking each other on the nature of and correct approach to (men/women/furries), PPD often gets into some pretty choice discussions about why people behave the way they do. Purple pill debate is an interesting middle ground. I find 'Bluepill' perspectives limiting for m…	/r/PurplePillDebate	03/11/18 07:25 PM