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Chaotic_Boots Archive

View 1 post and 46 comments by Chaotic_Boots on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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Upvotes Title Category Author Subreddit Date (UTC)
26

Chaotic_Boots/r/Divorce_Men18/05/24 12:33 AM
Upvotes Comment on Subreddit Date (UTC)
2

Custody arrangements aren't set in stone, try to keep things amicable as much as you can to protect your arrangement and your peace. That said, make sure the guy she cheated with knows that you know. He will be forced to either leave his wife for your ex or break things off and try to cover it all up. Cheaters are paranoid, if you tell his wife the downfall can be blamed on you, if it's just him rushing around trying to hide all the evidence, that's on him.
/r/Divorce_Men25/06/26 12:55 PM
16

Yes. Don't do it. I was sex starved with a dead bedroom for the last years of our marriage, but as soon as she couldn't have me she wanted to get down all the time, and even get more adventurous than she ever let me get while we were together. We split pretty amicably, and it was still a terrible idea. Don't do it, it never turns out well. The only plus side is after 15 years she finally let me put it in her ass.
/r/Divorce_Men13/06/26 06:24 PM
1

I was only able to afford it by not using lawyers at all, except as consultants. We argued, we fought, but she depended on me to have an income with which to pay her child support, so she knew destroying me financially would backfire, and I knew that she could destroy my finances so I made concessions. Mutually assured destruction, the care for our disabled kid, and a civil mindset is how we got through it for about $1000. I pay her almost that much every month in child support, but I just bough…
/r/Divorce_Men16/05/26 01:23 PM
2

There was a lot of awkwardness and plenty of resentment, but we were still amicable. It was still pretty bad between deciding to get the divorce and me moving out, but once we lived separately it was like a weight was lifted. Now I consider my ex one of my best friends, we were best friends for over a decade so now that the expectations are firmly that of friends and co-parents to a disabled kid, we don't have any big problems. We are both happily seeing other people, and I'm probably going to g…
/r/Divorce_Men04/03/26 01:08 PM
8

I had a completely amicable divorce and I'll tell you why it was absolutely necessary: we were miserable together, we had tried therapy, we had tried separate bedrooms and hadn't slept next to each other in years, we had so much resentment built up that we did start to generally hate each other, we barely had sex, and frankly couldn't stand living with each other anymore. Being honest and civil about all of that, doesn't fix it. What did fix it was me moving out, and us getting divorced. We're a…
/r/Divorce_Men02/03/26 02:17 PM
3

There are so many shitty people out there, and so many things you could use your death to protest, and honestly the hardest part about most "missions" is the getting out alive part. If that's not a concern, even an untrained doof could theoretically get rid of the westboro Baptist Church hate group, or a neo Nazi rally, or start hunting ICE, or even just die on TV to protest whatever cause matters to them. In theory. In Minecraft. Hypothetically. For legal reasons this is a joke. For the record …
/r/Divorce_Men08/01/26 05:09 PM
3

Barring the idea of an afterlife, if you think we go into a void and lack of consciousness after we die: Drugs, sex, dogs, sunrises, comfy sweatpants right out of the dryer, tasty food, jokes, scratching an itch juuuust right, jerking off, all aren't available on the cosmic void. There's a book series I want to read, a TV show I want to watch, a goal I want to achieve, and I can't do that shit if I'm dead. And for me, every time I think about taking a dirt nap: If I was going to go out, I'm goin…
/r/Divorce_Men08/01/26 04:22 PM
2

Oh I started all interactions with my terms and needs, my biggest red flags and flaws, and trying to find theirs. The faster we find out that we aren't going to work, the less time I waste (my own and theirs) When I wanted to just keep things casual, I put on my tinder profile that I was only interested in casual relationships, when that changed I started being extremely selective on who would have access to my time and energy
/r/Divorce_Men01/01/26 08:59 PM
3

I told every girl I started dating that I had a vasectomy, I was almost certainly never going to get married again, and if I did it would need an ironclad prenup that protected me. That ended less dates than you'd think, but it ended relationships because I guess they didn't take it seriously. The woman I'm with now agreed immediately, and now that we're a year into the relationship, she still is perfectly fine with a prenup.
/r/Divorce_Men01/01/26 07:24 PM
6

The term for what she is doing is called "hysterical bonding" Basically, she now realizes that she is going to lose you, and will do everything she failed to do in the marriage for a while. Unfortunately she will almost certainly go back to taking you for granted, and treating you poorly. I went through this with my ex about every other year for the back half of our marriage, and when I finally said no, it was the best decision. I've never been happier than I am now, divorced and happily with so…
/r/Divorce_Men25/11/25 04:19 PM
1

I'm 37, I've been divorced almost 2 years. I moved out, and in with my Dad. I had a rebound long distance girlfriend while my self esteem was still in the crapper, when we broke up, I went full ho phase. 8 months with my Dad reminded me why I didn't speak to him for 2 years when I moved out at 17. Got an apartment in the city. I make decent money, I didn't get screwed too hard in the divorce, yeah she got a fully paid off house and $1k a month in child support, but I got my freedom and actually …
/r/Divorce_Men23/11/25 03:31 PM
1

Depends on what you are looking for. If you're in good shape, and have a modicum of disposable income, getting laid is easy. Easiest I've ever had getting laid in my life. When you start looking for something serious, shit gets hard. I got very lucky and found what I consider to be the perfect woman, but it took a lot of sifting through shit people to get to her.
/r/Divorce_Men22/11/25 04:50 PM
26

Please keep in mind that the Internet is not reality. It's very easy to fall into the trap of seeing all the most vocal, awful humans on the Internet, because they can hide behind their username and say things that would get them lambasted in reality. I have fallen into those traps myself, and therefore know that it's not only easy, but almost inevitable that your perception will be negatively altered by seeing that kind of thing. I was a gym rat for 3 years before getting divorced, I had a dead…
/r/Divorce_Men06/11/25 01:56 PM
3

I think this boils down to : "would you rather have someone you love die, or watch them turn into someone you hate" for most guys here. Personally, I'm on very good terms with my ex now, we both moved on and have partners that better suit our respective needs. We are good friends, we have 13 years of shared history, inside jokes and even when our relationship was at its very worst, we were still able to be (mostly) civil. So for me, her death would have been far more devastating than the divorce…
/r/Divorce_Men23/09/25 07:19 PM
7

With a prenup. Been divorced about a year and a half, found a good woman, and told her from the start that I was pretty sure I'd never get married again, and if I did, I would need an ironclad prenup, she didn't even stumble. Now I'm looking for a ring, and a lawyer to do the prenup.
/r/Divorce_Men12/09/25 12:27 PM
5

Dude, as someone about a year ahead of you in this process: do some more exploring. When you leave a toxic affectionless long term relationship (aka get divorced for the most common reason) your self esteem is tanked, you'll put up with way more nonsense than you should, and you'll end up glossing over huge red flags because at least some of your needs are being met instead of none of them. I fell madly in love with a lady who was toxic as hell for me, but because she was still less toxic than m…
/r/Divorce_Men30/07/25 01:22 PM
2

It makes a lot of things easier, especially if you have or want kids. Taxes, joint finances, if you need to visit each other in the hospital, the last name of any children, and being able to get cheaper health insurance and putting both of you on which ever partner has the better health insurance. Marriage is not the problem, it's divorce that's the problem. The divorce and alimony laws were put in place before women could really have careers, and if you got divorced she would likely have no inc…
/r/Divorce_Men31/03/25 12:11 PM
3

Prenup. Marriage itself is fine, you can get a better tax rate, only one of you needs good health insurance, credit score can go up, joint bank accounts... It makes a lot of things more convenient and affordable, but when it ends, if you don't have an iron clad prenup, she can take everything. And every man thinks "she wouldn't do that" but let me tell you, people change, and the woman you marry is almost never the same one you divorce. So talk to a lawyer about a no alimony prenup with every pr…
/r/Divorce_Men28/03/25 05:00 PM
1

Same experience. The only thing she did with any regularity was laundry. I hired a cleaning service.
/r/Divorce_Men14/03/25 02:51 PM
1

Hysterical bonding. As soon as you threaten to leave the ex will be trying to love bomb and do all the shit she should have been doing the whole time. My ex told me once I moved out, that she was just trying to get as much dick as she could with someone she knew could get the job done and was safe before looking for someone new. I called bullshit, but I felt like I was collecting on a debt I was owed, do not recommend, that shit doesn't end well.
/r/Divorce_Men14/03/25 02:19 PM
1

Not to be super shallow but I didn't even match the out of shape ones, I dealt with my depression due to shitty marriage for the last few years of it by going to the gym for an hour and a half 6 days a week (also to avoid being at home). I lost 85 lbs and put on a lot of muscle, it was such a big part of my life that I pretty much only even talked to ladies with active lifestyles. I fell off during the summer, but was still going 2-3 days a week, and realized I was over training to hell because …
/r/Divorce_Men14/03/25 12:10 AM
2

You're absolutely right. I didn't think I was in that great of shape until I hit the apps. I got 4 in person dates in the first week I was on tinder, and that was after whittling down 30 some likes that I woke up to the day after. Being an absolute ho most of the summer was easy, especially because I was honest about it. I basically said : I'm looking for casual but reccuring and nothing exclusive. It only started getting difficult when I was looking for something lasting because there's a lot o…
/r/Divorce_Men13/03/25 11:47 PM
1

You're absolutely right. I thought I'd set the bar unattainably high, and she stepped over it like it was a speed bump. I don't know if every divorced guy sits down and writes the list of qualities that his next lady needs to have, would like them to have and would be nice to have, but I did and the universe seems to have found that list and genetically engineered this woman to meet them.
/r/Divorce_Men13/03/25 11:37 PM
2

Keeping her doesn't have to be marriage, but as long as there's an iron clad prenup I'm not opposed.
/r/Divorce_Men12/03/25 09:13 PM
13

I'm 36, and my ex wife is 48. I have been dating ladies anywhere from 28-38, and it's been great, but I just started seeing a 33 year old lady and I think I'm gonna keep this one. She's the most attractive woman I've ever seen, as well as being intellectually stimulating, brilliant and kind to me. She's for sure a keeper.
/r/Divorce_Men12/03/25 02:47 PM
3

From personal experience: DON'T KEEP DOING IT she's gonna do all the stuff you wish she did (or did more often) and then one day she'll have a boyfriend and shit is going to explode in your face. Clean break, protect yourself man.
/r/Divorce_Men02/03/25 06:50 PM
17

This is what I've learned over the last year of dating, part ho phase, part looking for a long term partner. Once you match, always message first. Women get a ton of matches, so your first message if you get a match should be immediate, so that you're popping up while she's looking at her phone. And don't just say "hi" read her profile and look at her pictures and show in your message that you're paying attention. Personalize it. If you're not already in good shape, start going to the gym. A lot…
/r/Divorce_Men25/02/25 04:20 PM
2

Yes you can get a judge to sign off on no alimony. My state are has to have a reason to get alimony in the first place. Child support in the other hand... No avoiding that unfortunately.
/r/Divorce_Men09/09/24 04:45 AM
2

Depends on the state, but yes.
/r/Divorce_Men09/09/24 04:20 AM
1

We still co-parent and we split amicably, I still wish her happy mother's Day, and buy her a gift, when her birthday comes around I'm absolutely going to wish her a happy birthday. Honestly we're much better with each other apart, the trick to it I think is that we both have the same number 1 priority, our son's care and well-being.
/r/Divorce_Men12/07/24 07:18 PM
3

Nope. Wouldn't have gotten married after learning any one of about a dozen things about what would happen. Reading this post is weird because I absolutely could've written it, our stories are that similar. The good news is: now that I'm also in the best shape of my life, and single pretty much for the first time as an adult, I'm not hurting for physical companionship. Right now I'm seeing two ladies, down from 4, because I needed to pump the breaks just to have some time to myself. I think 3 is …
/r/Divorce_Men10/06/24 04:49 PM
3

She may not get alimony at all. I repeat, talk to a lawyer. Don't tell her you're going to, just pay for an hour consultation and come with your financial info and all your questions, most lawyers will do a zoom call or phone call consult, and it'll probably cost you $2-400, but if you end up needing them, you can put them on retainer right then and there.
/r/Divorce_Men20/05/24 03:57 PM
6

TALK. TO. A. LAWYER. NOW. It's highly unlikely that perpetual alimony would be granted in ANY case but it does exist in some states. This is going to get ugly quickly, and bottom line is she can ask for whatever she wants, but that doesn't mean she's going to get it.
/r/Divorce_Men20/05/24 03:22 PM
1

Why is every response here giving me more unsolicited advice, when I just asked if anyone else had gotten this unsolicited advice? "Don't do that dude, work on yourself!" I have worked on myself, alot, I tried working on myself to save my marriage, and it wasn't enough. I lost 75lbs and my deadlift is 500lbs my bench is 300, and I've almost got abs, I also started therapy, mediating and setting aside time to introspect on what makes me happy and how to be a better person. "Get over her by gettin…
/r/Divorce_Men19/05/24 04:39 PM
1

Eh, I don't think that's talking like a victim, I think it's a different way of saying "you can't please everyone" which is true. In every situation there will be some Fuckwad that looks down on you for whatever you choose to do, I don't really care about the perception of others, I just find it odd that the same advice has been given to me by 4 people and all of them are women.
/r/Divorce_Men18/05/24 11:45 PM
0

I've been going to the gym 5-6 days a week for years, and only haven't been able to keep that schedule for the last 2 months, but still managed 2-3 days a week. I'm 6'3" 235, and about 17%bf. I have had unsolicited DMs on Instagram from women over the years and as soon as I took the word "husband" out of my bio there were definitely a few thirsty ladies immediately jumping in there. If I wanted to find somewhere to store my dick for the night, it wouldn't be hard for me.
/r/Divorce_Men18/05/24 01:57 PM
2

Dude none of this has come from Internet folks, so no Internet keyboard warriors have said this, and surprisingly this advice has (now that I think about it) come from all women. My sister, a female friend, a friend's wife, and my step mom all have told me I should have/deserve a ho phase. It's baffling.
/r/Divorce_Men18/05/24 01:51 PM
1

I like the gym, I have some community there, it's fun to lift and go for a new pr. Martial arts aren't for me, I have tried it and getting beat up for fun doesn't appeal to me. I get it, but it's just not for me.
/r/Divorce_Men18/05/24 01:39 PM
2

Huh. That seems risky. How do you propose not getting attached in the ho phase? I'm susceptible to that, perhaps my idea of just being alone is the best course of action.
/r/Divorce_Men18/05/24 01:31 PM
1

That's what I've been saying, I'm just curious if I'm the only one who gets told this so often that it has stuck out to me.
/r/Divorce_Men18/05/24 01:23 PM
2

Yeah, I'm going to be a bit strapped for cash for a little while, but You know why divorce is expensive? Because it's worth it.
/r/Divorce_Men18/05/24 01:22 PM
1

Hot boy summer was from a younger girl at the gym (25ish), it's the new slang for the same shit.
/r/Divorce_Men18/05/24 01:21 PM
2

Hell yeah dude.
/r/Divorce_Men18/05/24 01:39 AM
5

Been hitting the gym regularly for several years now, I'm 6'3 235 approx 17% bf.
/r/Divorce_Men18/05/24 01:36 AM
3

I already got fit 😂 I lost 75lbs and am pretty jacked now.
/r/Divorce_Men18/05/24 01:35 AM
5

I just think I need to be on my own for a bit, I just find it odd that EVERYONE is telling me to start trying to find holes to fill.
/r/Divorce_Men18/05/24 12:50 AM
You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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