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Upvotes Title Category Author Subreddit Date (UTC)
34

DiscussionCharacter-Limit-774/r/PurplePillDebate03/11/25 02:48 PM
Upvotes Comment on Subreddit Date (UTC)
0

Not approaching doesn't make you socially awkward.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/11/25 04:46 PM
0

I'm trying to help you.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/11/25 09:13 PM
0

You're the desperate loser who needs to approach.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/11/25 09:11 PM
0

But it's the only reason that they want to be approached.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/11/25 09:01 PM
1

Why should you boost her ego just by approaching her? What do you get out of it? Women approach the men they like.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/11/25 08:28 PM
1

By approaching her you are telling her that she is superior to you and just boosting her ego. She's not special and she should be approaching you. You look like a desperate loser in her eyes. The only reason women want to be approached is for validation. What does that tell you?
/r/PurplePillDebate07/11/25 08:17 PM
1

So do you think men should approach women more (aka simp)?
/r/PurplePillDebate07/11/25 07:57 PM
1

To the person who said it, it's what it means.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/11/25 07:56 PM
0

If you were attractive, you would know that you don't need to approach women as they would come to you. They know more than you do. I bet you think that men should approach women. Approaching women is just being a simp and tells her that she is superior to you.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/11/25 07:11 AM
1

If you need to put yourself out there then you've already lost. If you need to approach women then you're unattractive as women approach attractive men.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/11/25 12:10 AM
1

Why should they do it if it's a definite failure? Apps are at least low effort, high reward. "That’s ok: cowards were never meant to fuck anyways" Probably fuck more than you, particularly as you can't get anything from apps as you're ugly. The fact is that if you've got to put in effort then you're not good enough.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/11/25 11:44 PM
1

Because that's high effort and usually a waste of time. There is nothing wrong with dating apps. You suggesting being a dancing monkey. Imagine having to be friends with a girl first.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/11/25 11:09 PM
1

And yet there are no better solutions.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/11/25 10:37 PM
1

Because people want something to blame rather than admitting that they are ugly. Most men struggle in person too. The apps are at least low effort, so they are better. IRL is shit.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/11/25 10:32 PM
1

WTF are you talking about? You have no argument and can't even give a reason as to why apps aren't good and can't even offer alternative.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/11/25 10:26 PM
1

"Who lied and told you that? Other sexless losers. Even if you were getting swipes at some point you NEED to meet in person to vibe." If you need to do simp things like dates, then yes you're not attractive. Women will go straight to yours if you are attractive. Online is best as you don't need to do pointless stuff like trying in person.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/11/25 10:21 PM
1

95% are unattractive in the eyes of women. Even with equal numbers women would go for the most attractive guys. "If I was on an island with 1000 women across the full attractiveness spectrum I’d have loads of options and probably only sleep with the top group. The vast majority of women would want sex and I as the only male would suddenly be extremely attractive. Since I’d only bang the top group due to limitations of being just one guy, it doesn’t mean I don’t find the second or third group una…
/r/PurplePillDebate06/11/25 10:20 PM
2

No it doesn't lmao. If you've got to put in effort then they're not attracted. I still use the apps and they work for me. I don't want to put in effort in going out when I can arrange it online.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/11/25 07:21 PM
2

So why don't they work? What better alternatives are there? At least apps are low effort and high reward.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/11/25 07:00 PM
2

Dating apps still work for plenty, you're just unattractive if they don't work for you. They're hardly any different to real life.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/11/25 06:46 PM
0

They do have little to no options. Look at app data.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/11/25 06:10 PM
–

A guy I know would wear a bra over his shirt/jacket when going out. People laughed but he never got any.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/11/25 05:40 PM
1

Because they're trying to sell you a product.
/r/seduction05/11/25 03:22 PM
1

You have a "scarcity mindset" because that is your reality. If you had abundance you would magically have an "abundance mindset."
/r/seduction05/11/25 09:51 AM
1

Nothing. Unless the women approach me then they are not attracted.
/r/seduction05/11/25 09:38 AM
1

Talking to/approaching a woman is always harassment.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/11/25 09:37 AM
1

Nope. If you're attractive then it will find you.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/11/25 09:36 AM
1

"Naw that is you saying this silliness when you know most men cant afford to do this. I'm just going ahead and entertaining the debate as I don't mind any kind." You are aware that by simply going up to a woman you are pedestalising her and telling her that you are desperate and she's above you right? You give her all of the power. "Hell no I dont know where you are from but that isnt normal at all. If a man is respectful and approaches with grace at the appropriate locations." It happens all of…
/r/PurplePillDebate05/11/25 09:36 AM
1

Sometimes. I have one FWB atm. But if I go out and no woman approaches it can hurt my confidence. Same as if I only receive three Hinge likes in a day.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/11/25 12:16 AM
2

Fine. I am usually approached when going out at least once and women often send the first message on apps.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/11/25 12:02 AM
2

It pretty much is, though. I routinely tell women that I don't like putting in effort for them. If they're not putting in most of the effort then I'm not attracted. They should be throwing themselves at me. If I go somewhere and there are women and none approach me then I realise they do not find me attractive.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/11/25 11:31 PM
1

I am advising men to not harass women. Women want to be approached just for validation and the ego boost.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/11/25 11:21 PM
1

I enjoy their company and hanging around with them. We have similar interests.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/11/25 11:20 PM
1

"Yeah like I said some men cant afford to wait as they will be waiting forever. If they o get something their options will be greatly restricted. I think you understand that but you like arguing this anyway." You seem like a very argumentative person, so I will try my best. "This is just usually how the dating game works. If a man can easily have women approach first because he got it like that, I'm all for that as well." Approaching women just adds to the modern issue. "Well if a man has it goi…
/r/PurplePillDebate04/11/25 10:49 PM
1

Such as?
/r/PurplePillDebate04/11/25 10:47 PM
3

No, it doesn't. It's the truth.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/11/25 10:47 PM
1

Why? For speaking the truth?
/r/PurplePillDebate04/11/25 06:22 PM
1

I have thousands of Tinder and Hinge matches respectively but I know that I won't get anywhere irl.
/r/seduction04/11/25 04:55 PM
1

Talking to women in any context other than work is harassment unless they approach you. Women also view any many who approaches them as a loser.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/11/25 04:09 PM
1

If I go out and no woman approaches me then it does hurt my confidence as it means that none of the women find me attractive. These women just want an ego boost and validation. That should tell you why you shouldn't approach. Why do you suggest that men harass women? That is what approaching is. What is the point of doing this? Why should you validate them?
/r/PurplePillDebate04/11/25 03:32 PM
1

"you have heard stories... oh wow. Can't argue with that." A wise man learns from the mistakes of others. When you hear multiple stories of men being killed, beaten up or arrested for approaching women you have to question why it would be worth it. Now I ask you for what purpose should I approach women? What will this achieve other than boosting her ego or one of the above happening? "Yeah, women who approach you are below you. We know that. That's why it's worth nothing except for casual sex. A…
/r/PurplePillDebate04/11/25 03:27 PM
1

"You cannot possibly believe that talking to a woman would get you imprisoned, attacked, killed, humilitated, etc. Women want to be talked to by you." I have heard of numerous stories of these things happening. Plus, by not approaching it tells her that you are above her. "you reasons for not approaching shifted from "i don't want to inflate women's egos" to "it's dangerous to approach" really quickly." It's a mixture of both. When the cons outweigh any potential positives you need to make a rat…
/r/PurplePillDebate04/11/25 03:20 PM
1

The consequences of being rejected are very real: Imprisonment, being attacked/beaten up/even killed, social ostracization, public humiliation and false accusations. More men are aware of these consequences.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/11/25 02:46 PM
1

The vast majority of men have zero options and are unlovable.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/11/25 02:30 PM
1

Yeah, because rejection is meant to be humiliating. Why should men do it if there is no reward? "You are a prime example. 10 years since you last approached a woman. In another comment you said you are close to 50 bodies by women approaching you, but how many relationships? those women who approach you, they are not relationship material for you?" You still haven't given me a single reason to approach. I also don't care for relationships. I've had enough of them. If you need to approach the woma…
/r/PurplePillDebate04/11/25 02:30 PM
5

If you need to put in effort then she's not attracted to you.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/11/25 02:28 PM
1

Wtf is rizz? "It basically means that if you don’t shoot your shot (with a modicum of rizz), you’ll never know, and it genuinely makes women feel undesirable if you don’t. You don’t have to be hitting them with Indian style shit, just be normal." Why would I want to make them feel desirable?
/r/PurplePillDebate04/11/25 02:27 PM
1

Why is it a myth?
/r/PurplePillDebate04/11/25 10:52 AM
1

"Do you even read any women on that topic? They ARE interested but they wait to get approached. The whole topic of "he would if he wanted to" is female perspective on mating approaches: women who are interested in a man do not approach him but desperately want him to approach. They wonder if him not approaching is a sign of no interest, or if he maybe could have other reasons." This actually makes it even funnier when women complain that fewer men are approaching them these days. This is great n…
/r/PurplePillDebate04/11/25 10:50 AM
1

Brutal.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/11/25 10:42 AM
1

Also, why should I try something (approaching women) where I know it won't work? Why fix something that works for me (women making the first move)? That's absurd. If it's not broke, don't fix it.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/11/25 10:39 AM
2

I'm not here to gas women up/overinflate their egos even more. I want women who are attracted to me and the women who are attracted to me approach me/make the first move. You can't even give a single reason why I should act against my own interests (approaching women). I said I tried to approach a woman once in 2015 and it didn't work. I then realised it's better to wait for them to approach me. "You being "confident" that the girl will reject you is the opposite of confidence." It's still confi…
/r/PurplePillDebate04/11/25 10:34 AM
0

Leave them to it. Reality always comes back to haunt you.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/11/25 10:10 AM
1

When I was out in the Camden area of London a couple of months back I was approached on three separate occasions. In Bournemouth in June this woman harassed me all night (ended up going back with her). In Manchester I was approached again (again went back with her). In Chelmsford in May I had it twice in one night. These are some of the examples from the last few months. Although when I went to bars in Italy it didn't happen which was pretty detrimental to my confidence. "what is your n count fr…
/r/PurplePillDebate04/11/25 10:08 AM
1

Only men with options (a very small number of men) can do that.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/11/25 10:04 AM
1

"Some could see it that way especially if its cold. Even still that's how men generally meet women, they have to make the first move." Nope, I never do as I know it would be pointless. I wait for them. I don't want them to think they're above me. "Yeah but the problem is the norm is for the man to approach first to show they like the woman. So since that's kind of embedded into society that's how things generally work. Unless the man is very attractive or has fame or money." Why would I want to …
/r/PurplePillDebate04/11/25 10:03 AM
1

"Sorry, you're right. I fucked up. I reread your initial post and got lost in the sauce of the replies and your interactions with others but I see now that you're not complaining about your lot in life or lamenting a lack of confidence, just asking why it's important (or what it is?)" It's okay. I just see approaching women as part of the issue in modern dating as it just gasses up women's egos even more. "Either way, if they aren't attracted and they don't approach then move on. Not sure how "a…
/r/PurplePillDebate04/11/25 10:00 AM
1

Why should I harass women (approaching is harassment)? What does that achieve? Approaching is stupid.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/11/25 09:59 AM
1

"You are doing mental gymnastics to find excuses why you are not insecure and afraid of rejection. We have different mating roles for the sexes in our culture and you can't play yours so you need to find an alternative explanation for why that is not even what you need to do. It's sad and pathetic. You are so delusional that you do not even acknowledge that men approach and women present themselves to be approached (in general)." I am not here to be a dance monkey like you suggest by going up to…
/r/PurplePillDebate04/11/25 09:58 AM
6

She either finds you attractive or she doesn't. That's it.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/11/25 12:08 AM
2

Your mindset doesn't matter with dating. "People are trying to help you in this sub, read the replies with openness and curiosity. That is the path towards growth." How exactly are they trying to help me by telling me harmful advice like "approach women"? If they don't approach me then they aren't attracted.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/11/25 12:04 AM
1

"Could you reread the above set of responses and exchange her for him, as if you were a woman responding? "Why should I have to approach him? All it does is boost his ego. He should come to me. "" The dating market is already extremely rigged in women's favour and all approaching does is add to the issue. Why should men harass women? "It sounds like you are projecting. All of your feelings towards women in this scenario are mirrored from your side. Approaching a woman isn't harassment. If you do…
/r/PurplePillDebate04/11/25 12:02 AM
1

Approaching is always harassment. "So men would be left lonely following your advice. So not sure how you cant understand that. Yes its nice to have them approach (harass) me first." Men should want women who are attracted to them. "Id be crazy to die on that hill unless i had the woman coming at me pretty regularly. Similar to how most women do. Which isn't the case for most men." When I go to a bar or out on the town and no women come up to me then it does hurt the confidence as I realise that…
/r/PurplePillDebate03/11/25 11:59 PM
1

So it's good to approach (harass) women? All approaching does is boost the woman's ego.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/11/25 11:22 PM
1

All approaching does is boost her ego, which is why women want to be approached. It adds to women's already inflated egos. You're placing her on a pedestal When I go to bars and pubs I have been approached by plenty of women. I don't need to be a simp and approach. The reason she doesn't approach is because she's not attracted. It's that simple. You can't give a reason to approach. It's interesting that you need to try and shame me into doing something that isn't in my best interests (approachin…
/r/PurplePillDebate03/11/25 11:21 PM
1

All approaching does is boosts the woman's ego. It's stupid and pointless. "So having a woman not make moves is quite normal for most guys for sure. I guess maybe you expect for them to make the move and buy you a drink, lol." I expect them to approach. Sometimes they buy me a drink. Again, if they don't approach me then they are not attracted to me. I don't approach as I tried it once and it didn't work.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/11/25 08:03 PM
-1

If I go to a bar and no woman approaches me then I figure they're not attracted to me. It does hurt my confidence if it doesn't happen.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/11/25 07:36 PM
1

They're not.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/11/25 07:13 PM
5

It's a load of shit. You need to accept your reality. Why would you want to be deluded? Just don't put yourself out there.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/11/25 07:10 PM
0

It really doesn't. If she has a high level of attraction to you you do not need to jump through these hoops. Putting on an endless performance is just a tiresome task.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/11/25 06:46 PM
2

"I keep forgetting empathy is actually hard for guys here to understand. What does watching porn have to do with simply not sending porn of Tails to your friends after being warned to stop doing it? Missing such an obvious point is really proving why so many guys suck at forming even platonic relationships," Just like you seem to lack empathy. I said that many of these men started watching porn BECAUSE they were endlessly rejected IRL. IDEK what "porn of tails" is. "Assholes, whi h is why they g…
/r/PurplePillDebate03/11/25 05:58 PM
2

"So?" So porn is the symptom, not the cause in most cases. "Whats the problem?" What kind of men do you think consistently talk about "R?" "And they also get kicked out when they ignore warnings to stop." Women will always have other options to fall back on.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/11/25 05:47 PM
3

Many men watch porn because they can't get any IRL. I'm not sure why people are so obsessed with porn here. What? Over what? Women do it all of the time yet it doesn't really affect them.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/11/25 05:40 PM
2

Such as?
/r/PurplePillDebate03/11/25 05:33 PM
2

Many of these men tried to create social bonds but were sent that way due to various reasons.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/11/25 05:30 PM
1

Dating apps.
/r/seduction03/11/25 05:14 PM
5

That just means that she isn't very attracted to you.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/11/25 04:51 PM
3

How exactly do you want me to describe my friends?
/r/PurplePillDebate03/11/25 04:46 PM
1

I realise that women don't want me talking to them in person so I only do it online. I have good results from the apps so why should I try?
/r/seduction03/11/25 04:41 PM
-2

How?
/r/PurplePillDebate03/11/25 04:38 PM
4

"I fear you just don’t like the social contract that makes alluring people alluring." Sometimes I do, but I never approach women/message them first or even talk to them at the gym or fitness classes as I've been told it's a bad idea.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/11/25 04:38 PM
1

I'm not here to entertain others.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/11/25 04:33 PM
3

If they say that men are "boring" as if I am meant to entertain them then they see me as a clown. If they are attracted to you then you don't need to put in much effort.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/11/25 04:31 PM
4

Because women go after attractive men. All approaching them does is boost their egos. Why is that good?
/r/PurplePillDebate03/11/25 04:30 PM
1

I don't put in effort when messaging online (dating apps, etc). Why would I?
/r/PurplePillDebate03/11/25 04:30 PM
7

They're cool, I like them. But the difference between a friend and a lover is that the lover is sexually attractive.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/11/25 04:15 PM
8

Or just give up.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/11/25 04:14 PM
1

Yes, and if you are confident that you will be rejected you are just accepting reality. Mindset doesn't matter with dating.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/11/25 04:14 PM
6

Define "personality." What is the personality of a damp tea towel?
/r/PurplePillDebate03/11/25 04:13 PM
3

Believe what in particular? Having to put yourself out there? If you were attractive then it would find you.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/11/25 04:12 PM
1

No, we enjoy each other's company. But I do not put in effort when dating women.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/11/25 04:12 PM
4

They said to not be "boring", as if my sole purpose is to entertain them.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/11/25 04:11 PM
6

Well constant rejection can have a major toll on your self-esteem/confidence.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/11/25 04:07 PM
1

Fair point. I am in a similar position myself.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/11/25 04:06 PM
2

Men shouldn't put themselves out there.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/11/25 03:57 PM
2

That sounds pretty brutal, if you need to put yourself out there as a man then you are by definition unattractive. You need to let women approach you first. If you need to approach then the woman is not attracted to you. Confidence barely matters for men.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/11/25 03:54 PM
6

I have plenty of male friends, yes.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/11/25 03:47 PM
6

The "no spark/connection."
/r/PurplePillDebate03/11/25 03:43 PM
8

Yeah, also men have typically very low standards for women's looks.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/11/25 03:43 PM
6

Gym and physique can only do so much.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/11/25 03:39 PM
6

Someone told me that it means that you are unlovable.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/11/25 03:39 PM
6

So I have to be some clown/jester?
/r/PurplePillDebate03/11/25 03:35 PM
1

Delete the number and move on.
/r/seduction03/11/25 03:31 PM
15

IDK, I've been told that I lacked a spark following dates. That pretty much means I'm unattractive physically.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/11/25 03:29 PM
2

I mean, I never approach women/message first as all it does is boost their ego. That isn't necessarily being risk averse, it's just being logical.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/11/25 03:28 PM
2

It's still "confidence" isn't it?
/r/PurplePillDebate03/11/25 03:25 PM
1

Yeah and I would agree but I wouldn't say Chad. Likely top 20%.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/11/25 03:25 PM
6

Why? If you are confident that something will happen, then why is that not confidence?
/r/PurplePillDebate03/11/25 03:10 PM
1

I've had women approach me at bars/clubs and I've gotten thousands of likes and matches on apps on apps, but I wouldn't say I'm a Chad. I guess it's just finding women who do perceive you as Chad. But that would require you to be HTN+ for it to be possible. No woman considers a normie a Chad.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/11/25 03:09 PM
1

Because if she doesn't sleep with you quickly then she isn't attracted.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/11/25 02:40 PM
1

When I go to bars or on apps I don't even message first/approach them. There needs to be an equilibrium as they have too much power in modern dating.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/11/25 02:21 PM
1

You're paying for it.
/r/seduction03/11/25 02:20 PM
1

What thought would that be? What should the average guy be doing for dates?
/r/seduction03/11/25 02:19 PM
1

If you need to take her to dinner or some other crap then she's not attracted to you.
/r/seduction03/11/25 02:19 PM
2

If you've got to ask: Move on.
/r/seduction03/11/25 02:13 PM
1

That's extremely rare.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/11/25 01:48 PM
1

It's worth noting that all by approaching a woman/messaging her first you are ultimately just boosting her ego. It's better for them to come to you.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/11/25 01:46 PM
1

Generally speaking if a woman isn't approaching you/sending the first message then she likely isn't attracted to you. When I go to bars I expect to be approached and if I'm not then I figure that I am not attractive enough. Women also usually view men who approach them as desperate losers.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/11/25 01:41 PM
1

No one is special.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/11/25 01:36 PM
1

No they don't. If you need to put yourself out there then you are not attractive.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/11/25 01:35 PM
1

I would agree. It's unfortunately becoming more and more common.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/11/25 04:26 PM
1

Tbh it's better to wait for women to approach/message you first. All approaching does is boost the woman's ego and that's the sole reason they want to be approached.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/11/25 11:25 AM
2

Because most men aren't in a position to be picky.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/11/25 09:21 AM
1

Or a coffee/a walk. It should be cheap.
/r/seduction31/10/25 07:58 PM
1

Out of interest, which dating sources would be good for men to learn from if they wanted advice as opposed to the manosphere?
/r/PurplePillDebate31/10/25 07:21 PM
2

I like that I am able to live my life the way I want more or less. Yes, dating has become much harder for men with women's standards getting higher each year, but I I'm happy with my position.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/10/25 08:12 PM
1

It's best not to approach women as a man in fairness as you look like a loser. Plus women go after the men they want. I wouldn't say that's passive, that's being strategic.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/10/25 08:01 PM
1

Men don't care about men and women don't care about men.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/10/25 05:33 PM
1

I already know that I don't have a shot with them so this is irrelevant.
/r/seduction28/10/25 02:58 PM
–

Being in a relationship with a woman doesn't mean she's attracted to you, necessarily.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/10/25 12:09 AM
–

His girlfriend is not beautiful lmao. She's average at best. He's an anomaly as well as ugly men rarely get anything. You have very low standards, as most men do.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/10/25 11:58 PM
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