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Chasdava Archive

View 3 posts and 47 comments by Chasdava on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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Upvotes Title Category Author Subreddit Date (UTC)
63

Success StoriesChasdava/r/Divorce_Men19/02/26 10:22 PM
10

Chasdava/r/Divorce_Men20/12/24 01:04 AM
10

Living SituationsChasdava/r/Divorce_Men15/10/24 09:41 PM
Upvotes Comment on Subreddit Date (UTC)
1

A jury trial, or court in general, is definitely more expensive than settling it yourself. I tried multiple times to speak that logic to her but she was convinced she could ignore documentation (or the lack of), cry on stand, and get her way. She chose the jury trial so I didn't have a choice. Only one party has to. In my case, there was going to be no end to the separation. She stalled and delayed for 2.5 years. That meant I was going to be paying her "faux alimony" forever by continuing to pay…
/r/Divorce_Men23/02/26 05:00 PM
1

I think it was more so the texts to her ex-best friend saying she was going to delay filing and milk the separation for all it was worth (I filed about a month later). Said she'd wait out me growing my retirement more and earning higher-paying positions so she could benefit.
/r/Divorce_Men23/02/26 04:49 PM
2

And opposing counsel doesn’t have to present it in the context in which it was sent. Their job is to make you look as bad as possible. They’ll use any sized screenshot to do it.
/r/Divorce_Men21/02/26 12:54 AM
1

I didn't have as much of that. I was sad about the loss of the 35 year relationship but she was so unapproachable at the end that she made it "worth it". It was easier living less comfortably without her than with her. I woke up one morning before moving out and thought "I'm not doing another 30 years of this". Then I packed and left.
/r/Divorce_Men20/02/26 01:21 PM
2

My attorney stayed behind to talk to the jurors after. One said that they could understand a couple of weeks of angry texts and emails but there were over 6 months of rapid fire, angry, unanswered texts from her (until I changed my number. Then it all went into email).
/r/Divorce_Men20/02/26 01:19 PM
8

She claimed abuse, alcoholism, adultery… all the greatest hits against men in these cases. It seems she subscribed to some version of the silver bullet method (Google it), but she didn’t execute it well and it all fell apart under cross examination. In 35 years together, there wasn’t a single instance in which she told a friend or family I abused her much less law enforcement. The children testified to the same. Regarding alcoholism, she had to admit that not only had she never raised drinking a…
/r/Divorce_Men20/02/26 03:07 AM
5

3 adult children. Youngest is 25. They testified on my behalf.
/r/Divorce_Men20/02/26 01:17 AM
2

Thanks and happy to help. There were email communications throughout in which I cautioned her to not listen to “street lawyers” (regular people with no legal background and no skin in the game), but I feel like someone told her to just testify and cry to get “everything.” In writing, she was vicious and nasty to me, our family, our friends, my lawyer, etc throughout. She literally said she didn’t value me as a person and was only after the money. All of it was displayed on screen to the jury.
/r/Divorce_Men20/02/26 01:16 AM
8

She ran wailing from the courtroom before the reading of the verdict was finished.
/r/Divorce_Men20/02/26 12:06 AM
3

She was the first match I met, but it became a full time job responding to the msgs. I was legit interested in about a quarter to a third of them, but she’s the one.
/r/Divorce_Men17/12/25 12:16 AM
7

Although I don’t recommend it, I began dating about 5 weeks after I moved out. I signed up on Bumble the week after she paid for elitesingles.com on our joint checking (she didn’t have a bachelors degree so they wouldn’t let her complete registration). We hadn’t even filed yet. I didn’t actually expect to connect with anyone. I really just wanted to see if anyone would swipe right on me but I absolutely hit it off with the first woman I met from Bumble. Lucky, I know…
/r/Divorce_Men17/12/25 12:09 AM
3

Multiple select, delete. Take the time. It’s worth it.
/r/Divorce_Men16/12/25 06:04 PM
5

No longer being gaslighted everyday…
/r/Divorce_Men03/12/25 04:20 AM
6

Funny how some women can go through menopause multiple times with 8 year gaps in between… that’s how I got here. It’s easier to blame that than look in the mirror.
/r/Divorce_Men12/11/25 04:09 PM
2

Then put it in your kitchen counter when you pick them up and put it back with them when you drop it off. You’re a parent and don’t need tracking when they’re with you anymore more than she needs tracking when she has them.
/r/Divorce_Men10/11/25 04:32 PM
5

Jaw dropping a little… “tracking device”… I mean, unless it’s court-ordered, go f yourself. For real. If you have the kid(s), you likely weren’t deemed a danger. You don’t need monitoring. Just outright say “No. I’ve got them. Don’t like it? Let’s go back to court about it.” And the guys here worried about you redirecting it and getting in trouble… If she reports it and a jurisdiction wastes resources, it’s her false report. How about a phone call to you instead of the police? “Where are you?” “…
/r/Divorce_Men10/11/25 04:28 PM
10

Your mileage may vary….
/r/Divorce_Men10/11/25 04:16 PM
11

I know it’s important but these are two different things. No longer wanting to be in your current relationship vs a new one. I recommend making a firm decision on the first and dealing with it before spending much time researching the second.
/r/Divorce_Men07/11/25 08:06 PM
3

Although it was like having a 2nd job, I spent about a month on Bumble and did really well. Very satisfied with the outcome.
/r/Divorce_Men20/10/25 10:13 PM
12

I call that group of divorced friend “street lawyers”. Sometimes they’re friends or relatives of divorced females instead of the women themselves but they always have a lot of free, anecdotal, questionable legal advice for her. Right up there with having seen it in a movie or on TV…
/r/Divorce_Men20/10/25 01:18 PM
1

Bumble… but only when you’re ready. I did it after six weeks bc my ex signed up for elite singles.com from our joint checking. I wanted to see if anyone would bite but it turned into a 2nd job answering msgs. I deleted my account after a further 6 weeks.
/r/Divorce_Men17/10/25 10:38 PM
2

I had that concern. Then I took a look at the joint checking and saw the STBX signed up for a dating app. So the next day I did. I really wasn’t ready to date but I wanted to see if anyone “credible” would respond…. Over the following weeks, it turned into a part time job. I’m not a dreamy guy, but good women are looking for decent men. Don’t be afraid to meet someone but take a pass or let them take one. Keep connecting with the one(s) that connect with you. Talk. Clarify. Maintain positive int…
/r/Divorce_Men30/09/25 04:26 AM
14

God. If only…
/r/Divorce_Men06/07/25 09:33 PM
3

My ex was like that minus the tattoos so I’m “desensitized”. I don’t mind a little work, but the women with which I’m becoming acquainted are WAY better.
/r/Divorce_Men01/07/25 10:48 PM
2

Same. Very similar pattern. I took my time updating accounts and changing all the MFAs (don’t feel bad if you miss a couple). It’s been almost a year and a half since I got my new number on an individual account and she doesn’t have it. She only has email and attorneys to contact me.
/r/Divorce_Men18/04/25 08:13 PM
4

I wish I could post something different but my reaction is … “Yup”.
/r/Divorce_Men28/03/25 11:35 PM
27

Mine did for a while. After I moved out, I declined the rest of the requests/demands. I think the one that pissed her off was when I just replied “Unsubscribe”.
/r/Divorce_Men25/03/25 01:32 PM
1

And you’re right, run it by your lawyer.
/r/Divorce_Men24/03/25 08:26 PM
1

I changed mine (and relevant bills) when she overdrafted joint checking 2 months in a row when the mortgage was due. We were separated almost a year with only GA’s standing order in place. Not sure where you are but here if you haven’t filed, there’s no real expectation of division or contribution as long as you’re not “abandoning” them with heavy debt and/or no means of their own.
/r/Divorce_Men24/03/25 08:25 PM
18

Cops. Even if they don’t arrest them, get it in a report.
/r/Divorce_Men24/03/25 08:20 PM
4

Gave them to the 1/3 adult child who’s still speaking to her.
/r/Divorce_Men03/03/25 03:17 PM
3

Yep. Mine did the same with our old neighborhood. Some still speak to me. Others treat me like a leper. I love when people make up their mind after hearing only one side of the story. The stuff she says isn't even that credible if you know me for more than 5 minutes. :D
/r/Divorce_Men28/02/25 05:38 PM
2

Jealous of this post title…
/r/Divorce_Men21/02/25 09:57 PM
12

What birthday?
/r/Divorce_Men01/02/25 05:28 PM
12

Once my ex wouldn’t get out of bed after working an ER shift she volunteered for while she knew well in advance of the family vacation flight we’d planned. 4 of us with our 2 teenagers… The gate agent asked me 2x if she was coming while we walked down the jetway. I shouted back that she’d know as well as I would. Another time, we were traveling for a funeral. She was just plain late getting in the car. I sat there 30 min with everything, including our dog to be boarded, packed. Then she tells me…
/r/Divorce_Men29/01/25 12:26 PM
1

The house is in Canton. I’m currently in Acworth. Yeah, not fun.
/r/Divorce_Men21/12/24 04:19 PM
1

Estimate ~20k…
/r/Divorce_Men21/12/24 04:17 PM
3

After a couple of weeks of separate beds, I found our anniversary pictures and that year’s gifts in the garbage. That was the straw that broke the camel’s back and I also decided to move out. For the next few weeks, she continued her tantrums with hateful texting but I just took the high road until she suggested we meet somewhere out for dinner “to discuss the future”. I replied that I could meet to talk but not for dinner and only with a disinterested third party present… and also that I had de…
/r/Divorce_Men15/12/24 04:07 PM
12

Yep. “Never enough”’ is the motto of these particular women. In process after 36 years…
/r/Divorce_Men11/12/24 10:02 PM
17

Same as a lot of others are saying here… sometimes the SO is looking for a fault-based reason so they don’t have to defensibly explain why they’d rather have a new start. Fairly cowardly if you ask me, but it’s common. “Woo hoo! You f’ed up. Now I get to go!” Frequently enough, the reason ends up looking pretty puny bc they’re too eager and don’t want to explain themselves.
/r/Divorce_Men30/10/24 09:02 PM
1

Maybe not, but if you have documentation of unreasonable behavior and reactions (even without a label), that DOES help.
/r/Divorce_Men22/10/24 05:28 PM
2

Given the year of history, I am going to ask him about it tomorrow. At first, we were concerned about how it would look in a county known to bias toward women in the divorce but she's been burning all the goodwill and overtly acting entitled. It may be time.
/r/Divorce_Men15/10/24 10:47 PM
1

This. This is what I've been living. There's no judge yet. We just have a GA Standing Order (no absconding/sudden irresponsibility w/finances and no harassing the other party). My attorney and I have been tight. When I got the attorney's note today about "no date yet and they have to participate" I gave up on a reasonable (time) finish. Depressing. I just want the house equity and relief from mortgage, etc for now. This was a good note. Thanks.
/r/Divorce_Men15/10/24 10:45 PM
1

That's where we are. I've had a lawyer. I've adjust finances in ways so as I can not be accused of abandonment, etc. My main strategy is to not do anything that can't be logically defended in court. Otherwise, I'd be doing jinky stuff like moving back in, letting the mortgage go, etc. I'm hoping to hear some unique legal stategy I can discuss with my attorney.
/r/Divorce_Men15/10/24 10:07 PM
2

Yes. We're doing that within the limits of the law (avoiding accusations of abandonment, harassment, etc).
/r/Divorce_Men15/10/24 10:03 PM
1

I'd love to but she would have to cooperate on some level. Seen Stepbrothers? There are any number of things she can do while living there to scare off potential buyers, including deny entry. This is all pointing to a legal solution, but I was hoping someone here could specify what that would be (case law, etc).
/r/Divorce_Men15/10/24 09:53 PM
2

It's exactly what we're doing now. I think she's watched too much TV/movies and thinks she'll "get everything" that's left over. She doesn't seem concerned with the total final cost. Since her approach is kamikaze, we're going to court as the only sure way to finalize this.
/r/Divorce_Men15/10/24 09:48 PM
You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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