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Clear-Sail-5298 Archive

View 1 posts and 57 comments by Clear-Sail-5298 on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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Upvotes Title Category Author Subreddit Date (UTC)
15

Clear-Sail-5298/r/Divorce_Men01/07/26 05:02 PM
Upvotes Comment on Subreddit Date (UTC)
1

I set child support to be deducted from my checks. Now I’m not sure what to do, I do have a hearing next week so my attorney can file something on my behalf to buy me some time. Already applied for UE and Snap since this was more a layoff than a fire, I HAD the pto to use. The job was being more automated and I half expected it, but I think there’s also a case of wrongful termination since I have proper notice given, did all that was asked of me, and was there almost a decade. There were a numbe…
/r/Divorce_Men01/07/26 06:23 PM
1

How did you start after losing your income? How hard was the first six months? What did you start doing?
/r/Divorce_Men01/07/26 06:19 PM
1

Ohhh bro I have so many questions lol
/r/Divorce_Men01/07/26 05:50 PM
2

True story. Thanks man
/r/Divorce_Men01/07/26 05:50 PM
1

From the sounds of things that’s not going to be relevant unfortunately. But getting child support modified will be good for the time being
/r/Divorce_Men01/07/26 05:50 PM
1

Unless you’re also a parent. Then it can work out quite nicely
/r/Divorce_Men16/06/26 07:36 PM
7

My male lawyer did NOTHING. I had to fire him. I found a younger female lawyer, still hungry and passionate. I told her everything, she got pissed, and she’s done more for me in 6 months than the prior attorney did in over a year. I did ALL the research for him that my attorney did, and when I showed her how much of it I already directed him to show the judge and such that was just ignored……she was dumbfounded. I expect I’ll be giving this lawyer glowing reviews after, and my male attorney will …
/r/Divorce_Men08/06/26 06:05 PM
2

Hey similar thing here…….. except I couldn’t stay married. I just wanted a very peaceful, slow if needed, as painless for everyone dissolution
/r/Divorce_Men05/06/26 12:28 AM
16

This is it. I wanted no conflict. She chose war
/r/Divorce_Men04/06/26 02:51 PM
2

Thanks man. Every other day it’s a new thing, and every bit of it is false. This should be illegal. If I were doing it to her, it probably would be
/r/Divorce_Men03/06/26 12:10 AM
3

Try paying child support while you’re the low earner, but also having your character assassinated, clear cut defamation, for 2 years straight in numerous ways. That will make a person very angry
/r/Divorce_Men02/06/26 11:01 PM
2

How’s your test levels? Given the age and stress, your T could be tanked. Happened to me early from a fuck ton of stress and over exertion
/r/Divorce_Men01/06/26 05:46 PM
1

While I agree with giving some grace, I ordered resistance bands and a sandbag and had two dumbbells. With some modifications I was able to maintain and even semi gain in certain areas during the pandemic. If you were non essential and shut in, there was SOOO much time for exercise
/r/Divorce_Men29/05/26 12:55 PM
1

Also true. Only way to avoid it is to be at least conscious of estimating your caloric intake and stay active. Something starts to feel tight in the wrong spots? Drop intake and increase training time for 3-4 weeks. Honestly, it’s way easier to stay in really good shape after you get there by just being consistent and prioritizing your workouts over other non essential activities when needed. You don’t truly need fully restrictive dieting either - learn what’s in what you normally eat, check you…
/r/Divorce_Men29/05/26 12:48 PM
1

I’ve been going through the motions and court dates, had my character assassinated and time with my children cut short. I don’t remember what it feels like to be truly happy, for any prolonged period. I don’t know if I’m depressed or I just need the dark cloud to lift - likely a bit of both - but I have realized one thing; Happiness and inner peace are fleeting feelings. Trying to absorb as much of it as you can when you do have those feelings is key to waking up everyday, putting one foot in fr…
/r/Divorce_Men28/05/26 04:35 PM
3

Calories in vs calories out. You can out-train a less than ideal diet in terms of food choice. You CAN NOT out-train eating an excess 1500 calories or so everyday with dunkin iced coffees and BS like that. Especially if you do not exercise in the first place. The idea of “fuck it I’ll buy bigger clothes” rather than “I’ll go use the weights and treadmill and bands in our garage gym” that was a turning point for me
/r/Divorce_Men28/05/26 04:16 PM
11

I’m not saying in your case, but in general - A lot of relationships could be salvaged if neither let themselves go. Taking turns exercising while the other handles the kids, etc. I’ve always been fitness oriented and when my stbxw gained so much weight, after losing so much naturally from nursing and deciding fuck it, let’s not keep it off………it was so insanely off putting. We had a home gym. I was more than willing to give her the time. She was just completely averse to exercise
/r/Divorce_Men28/05/26 03:03 PM
3

I fired my first one, and I’m actively still looking to see if there’s any way I can file a complaint for how willfully ignorant he kept himself, how he never communicated with me, and how he managed to get me in a worse position than I stated with. My second one has been much better. Still not as fucking pit bull like as I would prefer (just to keep up with hers who has a bully/asshole demeanor). I REALLY wanted a civil divorce with a family lawyer. She wanted a war. At least my current attorne…
/r/Divorce_Men25/05/26 01:14 AM
–

I’m not OP, maybe my initial comment was not responding to the right post. At this moment I’m also very confused
/r/Divorce_Men21/05/26 12:02 AM
1

I’m the one being bought out
/r/Divorce_Men20/05/26 03:39 PM
2

I’m still in the fight, it’s been 2 years. I got blindsided with papers asking for everything but my left nut and I had false allegations made against me as well. A temporary order of protection was created by her three days before I was going to bring them on a large group vacation with me, one that was in the next state over and only a 90 min drive. Plus, she had the full itinerary for 2 months prior basically. Pretended at first that this would be an amicable split and we wouldn’t prevent the…
/r/Divorce_Men19/05/26 12:41 AM
12

That’s what my ex blindsided me with. The first draft of her papers showed me exactly how much of an asshole attorney she hired. This is family court. There’s no fucking need to be hiring sharks and pit bull lawyers IMO. If both parties could just be rational adults the amount of money and time people would save is astronomical
/r/Divorce_Men19/05/26 12:13 AM
7

That sub is either A. “My partner did x,y, and z. They won’t change. I’m thinking about divorce. I’ve been thinking about it for 15 years. I’m scared of it though, I’ve been staying for my children only. But now that my oldest is 42 and my youngest just turned 37 yesterday, I think I’m finally ready. When did you know it was time ?” OR B. “Dating is so hard after divorce. There’s no one out there! I want them to be just like my ex but also not be anything like my ex in any way. I just made a pro…
/r/Divorce_Men12/05/26 03:05 AM
9

I do not regret us dissolving the relationship I have tons of regret about how we treated each other during and especially after.
/r/Divorce_Men29/04/26 12:08 AM
1

I felt this heavy
/r/Divorce_Men27/04/26 04:15 AM
5

Yes. I needed someone who liked at least some of the same stuff. My divorce has been dragging on almost 2 years, but I’ve been dating someone for a year. I’m very into fitness. I like various sports, but I grew up aggressive inline and skateboarding, and playing basketball. That was my shit. I still do all of the above. My ex was averse to any sort of exercise, completely unfit and just stopped caring, and couldn’t care less about any sport. My GF used to play ball in high school as well, and I …
/r/Divorce_Men27/04/26 12:15 AM
1

Edited lol
/r/Divorce_Men24/04/26 06:50 PM
1

Thanks internet friend
/r/Divorce_Men24/04/26 04:58 PM
1

Oh for sure. This is manifesting as a future PTSD, I already have some from my dads unexpected death and some other things, so I’m just filling my plate up so my therapist can really feast once this divorce is in the rear view
/r/Divorce_Men24/04/26 02:50 PM
3

I left her, so most of it doesn’t fully apply. But she’s been using my kids against me, taking time away. A lot of it did help process emotions and keep moving though - feel your grief, keep it one day at a time, build a steady routine, keep up with your fitness, look your best, and be the best parent you can when you’re with the kids. Plus I have 2 boys. Daddy’s boys. The older they get, the more they’ll resent her for the lies. She underestimated the bonds we built when she sat on her lazy ass
/r/Divorce_Men24/04/26 01:25 AM
6

It doesn’t get “easier” You get more numb to it. The flip side is the time becomes so precious that you are PRESENT in a way that wasn’t as possible in a toxic, draining environment. You WILL be a better father in the long run as long as you keep putting in the effort
/r/Divorce_Men20/04/26 10:51 PM
5

For my kids But I’d have a better set exit plans
/r/Divorce_Men18/04/26 04:10 PM
2

He has to be very vague. His ex can twist anything and judges side with women way more often despite lack of evidence. If he blames her directly, she can successfully spin that. He’s playing the long game right now. The truth bomb will go off in time. He should not light the fuse for it
/r/Divorce_Men17/04/26 06:32 PM
2

Tell her this
/r/Divorce_Men17/04/26 05:58 PM
6

I lost 50/50 with a super biased judge. What you can do - ask for one weekday minimum where you can drive to them and take them to a park, McDonald’s, whatever. If they play sports, volunteer to coach. If they have a coach, find a way to volunteer to help set up for them. If you can’t do that, go to games Sign up for emails from their school. See where there might be events looking for parents to get involved. Hell, join the pta. It’s your job now to try to find every other opportunity to go and…
/r/Divorce_Men17/04/26 07:49 AM
4

Is she in therapy? Something about this makes me wonder how much is psychosomatic - perfectly healthy when there’s no pressure or expectation from her, but then has true flare ups of physical illness when there’s any sort of responsibility she has to think about. Maybe for some reason it causes her cortisol to spike fast and that gets her central nervous system all out of tune. Just a theory. One that I’d be communicating and letting her know my concerns about. Offer to go with to a therapist fo…
/r/Divorce_Men17/04/26 07:11 AM
18

I’m sorry your dad was shit, but a lot of us here divorce our wives so we can be BETTER dads/role models for our kids. Trying to break the chain of men staying in mentally abusive and toxic relationships with dead bedrooms and no affection. My boys should NOT think that was normal, and I’m rectifying that. I call them every night on FaceTime, without fail, and I see them every chance I possibly get. Still fighting for more time. 90% of us are in the same camp as me.
/r/Divorce_Men14/04/26 03:31 PM
12

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/r/Divorce_Men10/04/26 12:10 AM
2

That’s all we can do. For all the time we lose, we can make ourselves into the best role models for our kids. There will be a point where the courts ruling is obsolete, and the kids can make their own choices. Usually in the teenage years, they are allowed a voice in this as well. Be someone they want to be like. Be someone they want to be around. Misery loves company, but kids don’t love misery. So you hunker down, focus, find the positives where you can
/r/Divorce_Men02/04/26 04:02 PM
7

Life wouldn’t be better off staying. You need to think of how far a man must be pushed to want to leave. We are creatures of comfort and habit. Our comfort was in jeopardy and the habits were becoming bad. Keep that in mind. No, she likely won’t feel remorse. I haven’t found too many women that do in these circumstances. They usually have a number of voices in their ear, directing them every which way, and generally turning them more callous. I do not recognize my ex. I would have stayed for the…
/r/Divorce_Men02/04/26 01:40 PM
2

The name of the book is “splitting”? I’m in tail end (hopefully) of a high conflict divorce. I would love to find something to help me deal with it and grow as a person at the same time. The problem I’ve had with the few I’ve briefly perused was it kind of sounded like the perspective was that of someone was left. I was blindsided by the manner and actions of the divorce, but I initiated the split and decided there was no reconciliatory course of action. But there’s still tons of grief for break…
/r/Divorce_Men01/04/26 02:20 AM
5

I’ve been through this. Kids are 6 and 9. Almost same thing. BS stories, kept from them for a few weeks, still fighting for more time with them and then the financial split. I am not the type of dad who can see them every other weekend only and just FaceTime every night. I won’t win 50/50 with this judge, but I’m going to grow my asset check from the buyout and move as close as possible to their school (I’m 14 min away currently), then petition in 2 years. I won’t end this without getting at lea…
/r/Divorce_Men01/04/26 12:48 AM
2

It’s not always the “she” that initiates leaving. Dead bedroom, no common interests, no affection, felt invisible daily unless I was being yelled at
/r/Divorce_Men30/03/26 01:54 PM
4

Massive difference. Do yourself a favor and google the practice, look at vetted user reviews, and sort by most recent. I spent closer to ten extra grand by not doing that at first. Being able to manipulate the emotions of a man having his life uprooted is a skill they all have, but you want the person who doesn’t use it. I thought the SAME thing after I got off the phone with the BS attorney - he’s a solid guy with knowledge who’s ready to fight for 50/50 and stay on top of things. He was a damn…
/r/Divorce_Men27/03/26 04:03 AM
1

You as well bro. The kids know who fights to see them. They will grow up and realize that many times they’ve been kept away, it’s been at their n mothers behest and it was not for their own good in any way We just gotta turn a few more corners, jump through some extra hoops, and eventually we’ll see that finish line
/r/Divorce_Men27/03/26 02:39 AM
1

I have no ides what a TRO is, which apparently is a good thing. I replenish my new attorney’s retainer at the end of every month and pay 250 towards the balance of my first, and shittiest possible, attorney mid month every month. Trust me bro. I will never stop fighting for my little boys. We are very close, even with the distance she’s put, and no one can ever take that from us. It just makes me sad on their part too. My youngest would probably rather live in this 2 bedroom apartment over the m…
/r/Divorce_Men27/03/26 01:43 AM
1

For many of us, our kids are like our heartbeat. Steady, present, and keeping us alive. For many of us, bitter women have used our children against us. Taking away time, not making sure you know about all the extra curricular stuff you could attend, lying, turning courts against you, making you jump through hoops, etc. ANY woman can make any claim, with no merit, and if she puts it through her attorney most judges will sign an order of protection to restrict your time, and you ARE GUILTY until p…
/r/Divorce_Men26/03/26 10:55 PM
2

Same here bro. Sounds like a massive win to me, since he’s divorcing and losing no time with his nonexistent kids. It’s been 18 months of tooth and nail fighting, hoop jumping, having my character and name dragged through mud, and it’s still not over. I won’t end up with 50/50 with this judge I know, but I’m fighting for as much time as I can and assets from the marital house - I have no desire to live in a small town that is way too easy to slander someone in, so I’m renting 14 min away. Luckil…
/r/Divorce_Men26/03/26 10:26 PM
1

See? I hooped all my life. The rhythm of that ball and the sound of the net has been a solace many a times. Now keep doing it. Get good at it
/r/Divorce_Men13/03/26 06:54 PM
1

It’s helped me more than I can put into words. It may have saved my life indirectly over the last almost two decades. When you prioritize that, your brain changes in ways. “If I eat this, I’m going to feel like shit when I train tomorrow” “If I go out drinking, I’ll probably feel too shitty to play tomorrow and have to miss the game” “If I go do X, Y is going to happen to my body and that’s going to be a massive step back from my goals” These little thoughts, and they are little and fleeting, ca…
/r/Divorce_Men12/03/26 06:06 PM
1

There is NOTHING in this world that feels as therapeutic (without being drug induced) as good physical activity, especially if there’s a bit of competition (for me). Whether that’s against others, in a team sport, or even competing against yourself to learn new shit - It will instill a certain level of physical prowess to you which then leads to more confidence. And in my experience, that confidence extends to the other facets in your life
/r/Divorce_Men12/03/26 05:46 PM
2

It’s been my experience forever. As someone with ADHD, anxiety, bouts of depression, but still has a successful relationship now and was always good at dating - that kind of calm and focus, the routine of it plus the endorphin rush. It has unquestionably saved my mental health over the last almost 20 years
/r/Divorce_Men11/03/26 10:49 PM
10

I fine the most solace in physical activity - lifting weights, running, sports, aggressive skating, you name it- it’s hard for the inner demons to catch up when you’re moving fast enough
/r/Divorce_Men11/03/26 02:38 PM
2

Just less time with my kids and the legal fees. The rest is just fine
/r/Divorce_Men06/03/26 05:08 PM
1

Commenting to remind myself since it can’t be downloaded. I do want to read it, but I can’t read it off of Google Drive right now
/r/Divorce_Men16/02/26 05:06 PM
2

I just posted a sort of 3 step approach I took, but I was so emotionally deprived of affection that I started dating or hooking up almost immediately. While that isn’t recommended for everyone, I was a gym rat in the marriage but still felt so undesired I had to kind of prove to myself that women still wanted me. It was a weird headspace. Regarding success, there’s still asset division and custodial decisionsdecisions we’re arguing over in court, this has been ongoing for 15 months plus 3 of sep…
/r/Divorce_Men11/02/26 04:34 PM
3

Renewed focus on yourself. Do what you couldn’t comfortably do, what you didn’t have time for, or what you were scared to try. The first year is a combination of self loathing and self discovery. If you do more of the latter, you’ll set yourself up with a better chance of future success romantically and individually. Prioritize your health. Yes, get in the gym, be consistent, change and better your body and mobility. Longevity training is a good way to put it. It’ll improve your aesthetics, but …
/r/Divorce_Men11/02/26 04:28 PM
You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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