ClumsyBadger Archive

Upvotes	Title	Category	Author	Subreddit	Date (UTC)
13	Looking for some advice around topics to discuss that weed out those mid-term men who would be incompatible long term.	SEEKING ADVICE	ClumsyBadger	/r/FemaleDatingStrategy	16/10/19 03:50 AM
10	Seeking advice for the “exclusivity talk”. Do I bring it up, wait for it to be brought up, and other questions and discussion.	SEEKING ADVICE	ClumsyBadger	/r/FemaleDatingStrategy	09/10/19 01:41 PM

Upvotes	Comment on	Subreddit	Date (UTC)
20	It's not "failure" if you manage to escape. I actually don’t like this statement much at all. It still leaves room for the implication that it must be bad enough that they fear for their life before they leave. I see it’s creator wanted to impress the importance of setting and enforcing healthy boundaries with some shock factor but it doesn’t actually address the issue at its roots; the early stages of the relationship when red flags are ignored or missed because they were not taught.	/r/FemaleDatingStrategy	03/12/19 12:22 PM
2	Looking for some advice around topics to discuss that weed out those mid-term men who would be incompatible long term. I think it’s more what guys say and what they do may not be the same thing. I discuss deal breakers etc but keep finding I’ve been told what they think I want to hear rather than be honest about who they are. Is it possible to weed this out or is all this just part of it?	/r/FemaleDatingStrategy	16/10/19 06:22 PM
2	Seeking advice for the “exclusivity talk”. Do I bring it up, wait for it to be brought up, and other questions and discussion. That’s probably a reminder I need to hear actually. Part of it is because I don’t wanna waste my time on someone who’s not worth it but I do tend to be loyal to a fault though. That’s in relationships, employment, and friendships, too so this is definitely something I should keep in mind.	/r/FemaleDatingStrategy	09/10/19 09:38 PM
1	Seeking advice for the “exclusivity talk”. Do I bring it up, wait for it to be brought up, and other questions and discussion. I live in New Zealand. I think non-exclusivity is assumed here too but then this weird thing happens at like week 2/3 where guys ask you to “date exclusively” and you end up stuck in this really strange half state where you’re just dating because neither of you are ready to call the other BF/GF but you’re also not seeing other people. I hate it. Again this could just be the maturity of the people I’m around but it happens so much that I feel like it’s becoming a sort of normal. I thankfully have…	/r/FemaleDatingStrategy	09/10/19 09:30 PM
1	Seeking advice for the “exclusivity talk”. Do I bring it up, wait for it to be brought up, and other questions and discussion. I agree that it needs to be communicated in some way, I’m not willing to start a discussion on it though cause I feel like that’s one step too close to negotiating it and it’s a non-negotiable topic for him. I like how it was suggested in another comment to not discuss it with the words exclusive/non-exclusive, rather make it clear that he’s gotta be showing he wants to be my BF/exclusive with me by the 6 week mark and from there I’ll make my decision as to whether he’s really what I want.	/r/FemaleDatingStrategy	09/10/19 09:23 PM
1	Seeking advice for the “exclusivity talk”. Do I bring it up, wait for it to be brought up, and other questions and discussion. You’ve expanded a bit more on the exclusivity aspect and I actually quite like it. Let’s see if I’ve got it right. Let them know I don’t wait forever and decisive actions regarding exclusivity are necessary to keep me by dropping it that into conversation. Don’t start an exclusive or non-exclusive talk as the former is you chasing him and he must be the one to chase you or he’ll miss out, and the latter opens doors for him taking a free pass on long term non-exclusive dating and just generally w…	/r/FemaleDatingStrategy	09/10/19 09:04 PM
2	Seeking advice for the “exclusivity talk”. Do I bring it up, wait for it to be brought up, and other questions and discussion. Yea I read through someone else’s comment and re-evaluated. They were saying a guy knows after 6 weeks, I feel like it’d take me longer to know. I can put it as six weeks for him to start showing he wants it and another six for me to feel comfortable and confident that he’s my right choice. Edit it was actually you who said that lol.	/r/FemaleDatingStrategy	09/10/19 08:42 PM
1	Seeking advice for the “exclusivity talk”. Do I bring it up, wait for it to be brought up, and other questions and discussion. You raise some good points about my six month time frame, and you’re right a guy is gunna know after six weeks whether or not he’s wanting exclusivity. The purpose of it isn’t about the guy knowing he’s ready for an exclusive/LTR, it’s about my knowing I am. I don’t want to jump into one with just anyone and if possible I’d like to do this once and do it right. Its there to develop a friendship before the relationship, and make sure I don’t start dating someone exclusively only to learn they wer…	/r/FemaleDatingStrategy	09/10/19 08:40 PM
2	Seeking advice for the “exclusivity talk”. Do I bring it up, wait for it to be brought up, and other questions and discussion. Honestly that approach right there is why I put a length of time in. Having a length of time like this is strange to me but it really helps me focus on just getting to know someone, which is now what I’m looking for. I’m not comfortable having sex without exclusivity anymore and I’m not willing to just jump into any exclusive relationship just so I can have sex, so I now gotta wait and be patient.	/r/FemaleDatingStrategy	09/10/19 07:46 PM