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ColeIsBae Archive

View 4 posts and 84 comments by ColeIsBae on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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-3

Google this - 95% of diets ultimately fail for people who struggle with their weight. Depressing fact. What he needs is Ozempic. Has he considered that?
/r/RedPillWomen20/03/25 11:50 AM
1

I struggle with this exact thing soooo much. Thanks for opening up the convo! Looking forward to reading the responses.
/r/RedPillWomen18/03/25 03:41 AM
7

Awww!! I’m so happy to hear this. And it’s something I honestly learned from experience because I basically had a similar experience with my SO. I’ve struggled with weight my whole life and also got WLS. (Have been thrilled with the results!!) My man is also much happier when I’m healthier and thinner. And that can hurt sometimes. But he’s explained it’s less to do with looks, and more to do with the fact that he’s terrified of me developing chronic illnesses that would hurt our ability to have …
/r/RedPillWomen05/03/25 03:26 PM
38

You said your angry read is that he’ll leave you if you stop being physically pleasing to him. I don’t think that’s true. I think you now have years worth of evidence that he’ll stick by your side and reassure you—because that’s exactly what he did! The fact that he is a little more excited now, well, I can see where that would hurt. But I would do your best to give him a pass. Part of it is not just increased physical attraction, but also relief that you are healthier now, because he genuinely …
/r/RedPillWomen05/03/25 04:55 AM
5

No offense but this sounds very effeminate. You finally took the leadership reins—which allowed your wife to finally ease into her soft femininity, which to her credit, she did—and then rather than sit back and enjoy the results of your goal-achievement, you chose to get into your feels and sabotage the whole thing?? 🤔
/r/RedPillWomen05/03/25 04:50 AM
0

I don’t think it’s so much that they think the girl will be a wildcat in the sack. I think it’s more that they think she’ll be very easy. They won’t have to work too hard to convince her to sleep with them because her self-worth is low. And then once she does, they won’t have to stick around and commit. It’s very sad :(
/r/RedPillWomen17/02/25 04:09 PM
1

I’m so sorry that happened to you and proud of you for acknowledging the reality and doing the work to heal. You’re amazing. ❤️
/r/RedPillWomen17/02/25 04:05 PM
1

Ok here’s the brutally honest truth. Im gonna explain this to you like you’re my little sister. Men like the concept of “daddy issues” because it means a girl will be easy to get in bed. They understand that a girl with daddy issues will usually have low self esteem, so she’ll be willing to sleep with them, with zero commitment. So they’ll generally try to hook up with daddy-issue girls and then never follow up. When it comes to making a girl into a “one night stand,” they’ll go for the girl wit…
/r/RedPillWomen17/02/25 04:03 PM
5

Don’t beat yourself up for still thinking about him. You’re a human being!!! Processing your thoughts and emotions is crucial. ❤️
/r/RedPillWomen06/02/25 09:43 PM
7

Unpopular opinion, and just my gut instinct: there is something having to do with his mom here. I don’t know what it is. But some sort of wounding he might have from having a single mom, or an overbearing mom perhaps. It sucks. I’m sorry girl. You can’t change or fix him (as you know). All you can do is invest in your own growth and happiness, which will help you attract someone who won’t second guess your value as a partner! ❤️ start with some self care: a facial, a massage, etc. It will help! …
/r/RedPillWomen06/02/25 09:42 PM
0

I’m the first person to tell women to “run” and have been dinged for it by the mods lol, but idk, this one doesn’t have as many red flags for me personally. Wanting to pray about the relationship is encouraging IMHO. If I were in your shoes, I would let him pray about it, while I go about reading Laura Doyle and employing her tips. Give that a shot for a month or two and see where that gets you, IMHO.
/r/RedPillWomen22/01/25 02:07 PM
10

I’m in the exact same boat as you. I think a lot of women are in this situation right now, largely due to feminism. I wish I had answers on what to do. I’ve been having open conversations with my man about how I want him to make more than me. He agrees with me and hears me, but isn’t sure just yet how to make it happen… :/
/r/RedPillWomen21/01/25 02:58 AM
1

Do you mean because of deportation? Not offended. Just curious what you mean.
/r/RedPillWomen21/01/25 02:57 AM
12

Girl he sought you out bc he has a radar for women who will accept his crap, and you’re exuding that you will (bc you will). I would recommend looking up Anna Kristina on TikTok. She might have an ebook. You need her content urgently. I sincerely hope you find it. You deserve better and it IS possible. But it’s gonna require an entire mental re-wiring….
/r/RedPillWomen14/01/25 12:03 AM
119

Hmmm this is not a RPW relationship…. You are getting nothing out of this deal….
/r/RedPillWomen13/01/25 11:13 PM
2

Interesting! What was your age during these different periods?
/r/RedPillWomen08/01/25 11:46 PM
2

It’s hard! You’re searching for answers to try to understand what you’re experiencing and that is totally valid. I’m so sorry you’re dealing with this!!! Sending hugs
/r/RedPillWomen29/12/24 02:50 PM
5

Let me put it this way: I have dated two guys back-to-back who were both red pilled. Both voted for Trump. Both believe strongly in traditional gender roles. Etc. The first guy sounded a ton like your ex - getting jealous, being irrational, yelling at me, etc. The second is gentle, treats me like a queen, worries about my emotional well-being, etc. all while being very masculine. So that’s why I say don’t blame the proverbial red pill lol. For the record, I think you deserve someone like the sec…
/r/RedPillWomen29/12/24 02:15 PM
5

I wouldn’t blame the concept of “red pill” for this. He’s a walking red flag but I don’t think it’s the red pill’s fault. I think he’s just extremely immature and not ready for a serious relationship.
/r/RedPillWomen29/12/24 02:09 PM
2

That is helpful. Thank you! I ultimately came to the same conclusion. I appreciate everyone's feedback.
/r/RedPillWomen24/12/24 04:37 PM
1

Ok! Thank you so much 😭. Part of the problem tho is that I’m an apple user and he has an android so I’m not actually sure the layout of the android App Store. You just gave me the idea to google that tho… (but honestly I’m feeling totally reassured and better. Thank you ladies)
/r/RedPillWomen23/12/24 01:59 AM
2

Ok. After typing all of that out, I feel a little better and I realize that in one year of dating, I cannot recall a single instance where I’ve caught him lying to me. So that’s reassuring!
/r/RedPillWomen22/12/24 11:29 PM
2

The black cat energy has worked wonders for me. But I’ve been meaning to do a deep dive on the philosophies of Anna Kristina versus Laura Doyle, and where they converge versus where they differ…
/r/RedPillWomen22/12/24 06:58 PM
1

Trust me I totally get it. I’m trying the Laura Doyle tactics too. There’s also some good “polarity” coaches on TikTok who teach how to evoke masculine-female polarity in your relationship (I.e. how to make your man more masculine). Let’s both give it a shot. We’re in this together!! XO
/r/RedPillWomen21/12/24 04:04 PM
5

I’m in sort of a similar boat. Got out of an abusive and toxic relationship that, let’s face it, was pretty hot in some ways, and into a relationship with a man who respects me and defers to me. Here is my advice (and what I’m trying to do). Read Laura Doyle and similar stuff. Become more feminine. Intentionally ease into your feminine. Use her techniques to do that. And that should translate into this man becoming more masculine. You draw out his masculine energy by becoming more feminine.
/r/RedPillWomen20/12/24 03:15 PM
6

Don’t be ashamed! Do Hinge or Bumble. If you’re Catholic by chance, do Catholic Match. Also: Look up Rachel Sherrill and see her advice/strategies for how to use apps successfully because there can be right ways and very wrong ways to go about it. She’s very RedPill and very smart. She’ll give you great advice. Has a podcast, YouTube, and IG. Her IG is called “True Feminine Academy” I believe.
/r/RedPillWomen26/09/24 01:01 PM
2

I’m so glad to hear that! It’s helped me be surprisingly graceful (and not get too “down”) in similar situations :)
/r/RedPillWomen25/09/24 11:23 PM
6

Wait this is EXCELLENT. I seriously cannot thank you enough. This advice did not disappoint!!!!
/r/RedPillWomen25/09/24 08:46 PM
3

I'm so sorry I didn't have time to read the whole thing but here is the magic bullet for how to handle this: limit exposure - set boundaries so that you only see her an amount of time that you can stomach - maybe that's once a week, once a month, once every two months, etc. HUMOR. Laugh about the situation as much as you can. When you do have to see her, tell yourself you're "doing it for the bit" and when she does or says something ridiculous, pretend you're the heroine in a romantic comedy and…
/r/RedPillWomen25/09/24 08:20 PM
16

THIS is the correct answer
/r/RedPillWomen05/09/24 03:42 AM
2

That’s exactly what he said :) he said he hoped I could tell by his actions how much he loves me…which I totally can :) thanks for your comment!
/r/RedPillWomen15/08/24 09:46 PM
3

This is super helpful -- thank you so much for this! Great advice.
/r/RedPillWomen13/08/24 02:47 AM
–

As I said in my response, "I'm not one to say that easily." I have defended men and their behaviors in lots of my comments and oftentimes told the women they were being unreasonable. But in this case, it warrants it.
/r/RedPillWomen11/08/24 09:29 PM
–

As they say on TikTok: immediately no. Girl you need to run. These are red flags galore. His behavior is toxically effeminate, and I’m not one to say that too easily. He’s trying to make you feel insecure. I can see it a mile away. It has nothing to do with you and everything to do with him. He’s projecting his insecurity on you. You could be a Victoria Secret Angel and it would still not be good enough. That’s on him. Not on you. Run, girl. You’re still young. XO
/r/RedPillWomen11/08/24 08:20 PM
3

I completely agree. I meet women all the time whose SO's make 6 figures, but they lie or gaslight or cheat. My bf doesn't make 6 figures, but he also never let's me question his devotion and commitment. It sounds cheesy but no amount of money can put a price on the peace that brings us.
/r/RedPillWomen01/07/24 06:15 PM
6

This list is SO GOOD and this post is so encouraging. Not to sound naive but I would so much rather have a man who doesn’t make as much money but has these traits versus a man who might make a lot of money but lies or is mean to me.
/r/RedPillWomen01/07/24 05:19 AM
4

This is so beautiful to read. I’m so glad you posted this. And I agree 100% with everything you’re saying. May God bless this new chapter for you. 🥹 I wanted to ask one question. I will read the “Marry Him” book. You say he wasn’t your type. How long did it take you to become crazy about him? I’m in a similar situation. I’m 34. My man and I are basically both born-again Christians and he has wonderful virtues. I’m used to dating scum-bags, unfortunately. I’m wondering if I should keep moving for…
/r/RedPillWomen05/06/24 05:26 PM
2

Girl the fact that he lied about being married is an instant deal breaker and means you are the better catch, not him, regardless of the weight and hoe phase. Please, please absorb that reality—not in a cheesy way but because it is true. Also I echo the people asking if size 8 is really fat? But if it is, maybe go on Ozempic, drop a few lbs, and then get back into the dating market. You can find a better man, but it starts with seeing yourself as a catch. (Again, I don’t mean that in a cheesy wa…
/r/RedPillWomen02/06/24 07:23 PM
3

Awww my heart hurts for you 😔. My man and I are both born again Christians as well and I out-earn him. The difference I think is that he is VERY good at managing the money he does make, and has a ton in savings. I think that’s a super masculine trait. It worries me that your guy hasn’t been able to manage it. You guys should both look into Dave Ramsey. Dave is AWESOME on this stuff. God bless!!
/r/RedPillWomen21/05/24 09:15 PM
5

33M sounds sooooooooooooooo much better to me. Using porn isn't a dealbreaker, but being unwilling to stop IS a dealbreaker. My partner uses porn sometimes but he HATES it and is doing everything in his power to fight it. He understands that it is wrong. 30M, for some reason, thinks it's OK and isn't even trying to stop. Also not wanting children is extremely unattractive and unmasculine. I would cut 30M off and give 33M a chance. Just my 2c. Wish you all the best!
/r/RedPillWomen15/05/24 06:38 PM
5

I struggled with the same feelings of shame and self-hatred for similar behaviors. I’m a person of faith so I took it to prayer a lot. FWIW I’m in a relationship now with a guy who has never asked me my body count, so I guess I didn’t need to be as anxious about it as I was lol. He treats me like a queen. It’s possible! I would say stop all premarital sex asap. And then forgive yourself. Ask for God’s forgiveness. And then ask God to send you the right man who will love you for who you are today…
/r/RedPillWomen14/05/24 01:15 PM
10

He sounds like a guy who is never going to be satisfied no matter what his partner looks like. That's a *him* problem, not a you problem. The only thing that's a *you* problem here is that you're willing to stay with someone like that. Sorry to be harsh, but I would leave this type of relationship, personally, and spend some time working on myself to discover why I was willing to date someone who didn't see me as a prize. As someone who has gone through those steps, and is now with a guy who put…
/r/RedPillWomen10/05/24 05:10 PM
1

My best advice for you is to start reading Laura Doyle's books ASAP. Her advice can fix EVERYTHING you are describing. Hugs!!
/r/RedPillWomen06/04/24 02:03 AM
2

That's so lovely. Sounds like a great guy. What is TRP?
/r/RedPillWomen01/04/24 05:35 PM
3

I'm unmarried but I can brag on my parents' behalf. They're in their mid-60s and have been together for over 30 years. My dad is a surgeon. His entire world revolves around my mom. He doesn't even look at other women. She is his whole world. He makes a massive salary and spoils her with trips, cleaning ladies, home renovations, pricy gym memberships, and basically whatever she wants. He also is an amazing dad and was insanely present to my three siblings and me in our childhood (and adulthood), …
/r/RedPillWomen01/04/24 05:34 PM
3

Emotional reassurance. Soft life.
/r/RedPillWomen30/03/24 04:04 PM
–

Hell no to anal!! Sorry to be a hater but don’t resort to that OP. He’ll lose all respect for you and you’ll lose it for yourself. I would say this guy doesn’t sound like someone who cherishes you, which is what you deserve and should be seeking.
/r/RedPillWomen20/03/24 04:41 AM
1

I relate to this. What worked for me was listening to a lot of the feminine energy gurus out there…Laura Doyle, Pat Anderson, Rachel Sherrill, and all the amazing women on TikTok who preach about polarity.
/r/RedPillWomen16/03/24 04:29 AM
1

Bourgeois men no longer comment on women being beautiful. Idk why that is. This is why there are so many memes and jokes about women being called beautiful or being cat-called when they go to a gas station or walk by a construction site. It's only lower-socioeconomic class men who will call women hot or beautiful. I think this is really sad. White-collar men have lost touch with their masculinity. I've learned this the hard way having lived in NYC and Chicago.
/r/RedPillWomen11/03/24 02:54 PM
11

Said it better than I could have myself. A+
/r/RedPillWomen10/03/24 05:29 AM
42

Girl.... run. RUN. He already told you the truth on the 2nd date. Listen to what he said in this case. He's FORTY and you are only 25, and he still hasn't figured out how to be monogamous???? Insane. He's taking advantage of your youth by playing you for a fool. Run run run. You will find a way better guy who is Christian and checks your boxes.
/r/RedPillWomen10/03/24 05:29 AM
5

Girl! You need to read Laura Doyle asap!
/r/RedPillWomen02/03/24 07:45 PM
-1

Is there a way for you to not tell him about it without actually lying? Like, I never advocate lying, but if he doesn't ask you about it, I don't think you need to tell him about it. I think that would be my suggestion.
/r/RedPillWomen28/02/24 10:06 PM
16

I was fine with everything I was reading about the skirts and whatnot…..until I got to the line buried toward the end, where he tells you often that you overvalue what you bring to the table. RUN. RUN FAR AND AWAY. Seriously, who says that????!!!!
/r/RedPillWomen12/02/24 04:56 PM
4

This is a really beautiful comment and excellent advice. OP, I echo the above and would reiterate the following: move somewhere beautiful that makes your heart happy. Start fresh. And definitely find Jesus Christ. He wants to heal you!
/r/RedPillWomen12/02/24 12:40 AM
1

Read “Getting To I Do” by Pat Anderson. I realize you’re already married but this book will explain everything you’re experiencing and change your life!!
/r/RedPillWomen09/02/24 05:54 AM
1

Laura Doyle Rachel Sherill (True Feminine Academy, I believe it's called) Jason Everett ("Lust Is Boring")
/r/RedPillWomen06/02/24 03:03 AM
23

This whole thing is very weird lol. No offense. Why on earth would your parents "hate bring grandparents"? That makes no sense...
/r/RedPillWomen06/02/24 02:45 AM
1

My partner was also an avoidant, also had a fear of rejection, and also barely ever initiated. It was so confusing and counter-inutitive.....I mean, here's a guy with a legitimate sexual-related addiction (pornography) and yet he never initiates actual sex!?!?!? So maddening and confusing But I actually think all of those traits are related to the addiction. LIke I said above, the role of a male is to GIVE, not to RECEIVE. But addiction reduces a man's healthy masculinity and effeminizes him. So…
/r/RedPillWomen02/02/24 04:59 AM
2

Oh wow, thank you -- I'm honored! I wouldn't consider myself an expert by any means but can try to carve out time to make a post. :)
/r/RedPillWomen02/02/24 04:40 AM
1

SUPER helpful answer and I am so glad OP asked this question bc I have struggled with this feeling too. Thanks both of you!
/r/RedPillWomen01/02/24 05:33 AM
1

He's not low libido -- he's just low for a physical woman, because of his past with porn. And you're probably not super high libido per say -- you're just high libido for him because you've been outrageously starved of physical/sexual affection for him. Men are supposed to GIVE sexually and emotionally. Women are supposed to RECEIVE sexually and emotionally. When an addiction enters the picture, the first thing that dies is the man's ability to GIVE in that way to his wife. And then she becomes …
/r/RedPillWomen01/02/24 05:10 AM
3

1000000% agree!
/r/RedPillWomen16/01/24 10:38 PM
25

I completely agree. Her problem isn't her weight or age. It's her self-hatred. Men can sense it a mile away, and those are the women whom they CHOOSE when they are looking to use someone. It sounds cheesy, but the way for her to fix her problems is to start to love herself.
/r/RedPillWomen16/01/24 10:28 PM
3

Every single polarity coach on TikTok says that if you hate yourself, that will affect what you can attract. The best way to attract the highest value man possible is to love yourself and invest in yourself. That will make you more feminine, which will in turn attract a masculine man. It's good that you're able to be so ruthlessly honest with yourself about what happened. But now it's time to forgive yourself, and invest in yourself. Color your hair. Start a new workout routine. Get your nails d…
/r/RedPillWomen16/01/24 10:27 PM
2

You should not get plastic surgery. What you SHOULD do is run as fast away from this man. He sounds like a SOCIOPATH. I say this as an anti-feminist woman who believes in waiting for marriage. This guy is awful. Run very fast away.
/r/RedPillWomen16/01/24 07:02 PM
47

He's acting this way because of the porn. I'm so sorry :( Is he open to giving up porn? If not, this is never going to change. You deserve to feel desirable, and the way he is behaving is deeply un-masculine and unfair to you.
/r/RedPillWomen09/01/24 04:22 PM
1

Always remember that this conversation is not “you vs. him.” The conversation is about how both of you feel and it’s about “us vs. the problem.” LOVE THIS. Thank you :) I'll re-read this comment carefully throughout the next few weeks as I navigate all of this!
/r/RedPillWomen04/01/24 04:52 PM
0

That's what I'm hoping. And if not, that will be my cue to keep looking. XO
/r/RedPillWomen04/01/24 04:36 PM
0

Yeah. We have not had the serious conversations yet. I'm struggling to figure out how to bring it all up. But I'll get there. Thanks for your insights! If you have advice about feminine ways to bring up these conversations without pushing him away or turning him off, I am all ears.
/r/RedPillWomen04/01/24 04:02 PM
1

Yes, we definitely want to get married first. Sorry, I should have specified that! Thank you for your comments, truly. I can tell you and I see eye to eye on a lot. This is super helpful.
/r/RedPillWomen04/01/24 03:54 PM
3

No, it's not that I want a privileged life. That's not it. It's that I understand gender roles actually exist, and that it's not healthy for the man to be making less than the woman because he will ultimately end up feeling emasculated, and that dynamic will ruin the relationship. I don't care what the reality for 2023 is. I care about the reality for men and women, primally. And I happen to know that if the man is making less than the woman, then on a primal level, he will feel emasculated. And…
/r/RedPillWomen04/01/24 03:52 PM
2

Yeah, but what you're describing is not just "not rich." It's "vastly below the poverty level," in a city that happens to be the highest cost of living in the country (or close to it). I'm genuinely curious how these folks did it.
/r/RedPillWomen04/01/24 03:18 PM
0

I mean, this is RedPillWomen... we're realistic about how gender roles work, aren't we? Yes, I love the guy, but if the relationship can't function along the lines of the natural order (i.e. the guy making more than the girl) than I need to be pragmatic and keep looking...right? It's not going to be healthy for either of us in the long run to stick around in a relationship that distorts the natural order for masculinity and femininity.
/r/RedPillWomen04/01/24 03:16 PM
0

I'm not sure why you're being downvoted. I think this is awesome! I wish I had done it the way you did and told him about my expectations BEFORE I agreed to be in the relationship...
/r/RedPillWomen04/01/24 03:14 PM
1

Oh wow!!! That's incredible. I don't even know how that's even possible. But it's helpful to hear about. Thank you!
/r/RedPillWomen04/01/24 03:13 PM
2

Yeah I want to bring up the idea of LCOL area to him and see how he reacts. Thank you. XO
/r/RedPillWomen04/01/24 03:12 PM
1

Turned serious when I wasn't expecting it to!
/r/RedPillWomen04/01/24 03:12 PM
3

Yes, he wants kids, luckily. :)
/r/RedPillWomen04/01/24 03:12 PM
-1

This is super helpful and articulates a lot of my concerns. Thank you. XO
/r/RedPillWomen04/01/24 03:11 PM
-4

I think you could if you're really smart, which he is. I don't need him to be making 300k. I just want him to break like 110k.
/r/RedPillWomen04/01/24 03:10 PM
3

Agreed. These are my thoughts exactly. I want him to get into blue collar work.
/r/RedPillWomen04/01/24 03:10 PM
3

Thank you so much for saying that and acknowledging the feelings. That honestly made me feel better. I think a lot of women are in this position right now given how the market is and how it's pushed women to beat out men. Maternity leave at my company is great. I am not doing anything to support my bf to succeed (besides being encouraging and kind, and reminding him how smart and capable he is) bc I was under the impression that to try to push him or tell him what to do would be emasculating. Am…
/r/RedPillWomen04/01/24 03:09 PM
3

RUN. This will not get better. You deserve so much better. He has deep issues. He might be gay, honestly.
/r/RedPillWomen08/12/23 04:45 PM
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