~ archived since 2018 ~
~ archived since 2018 ~
| Upvotes | Title | Category | Author | Subreddit | Date (UTC) |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| 21 | I just realized I've been keeping score for years - anyone else? | Common_Grass_6230 | /r/Divorce_Men | 06/01/26 12:46 AM |
| Upvotes | Comment on | Subreddit | Date (UTC) |
|---|---|---|---|
| 3 | I can't do this againMan, you're not a loser - you're trauma bonded to someone who abused you, hit you, abused your kids, and now took your daughter. That's not weakness, that's what abuse does to your brain. The part where you said "emotional me is in the driver's seat and logical me is locked in the trunk" - brother, that's the clearest description of trauma bonding I've heard. You know she was terrible for you and your kids, you know your kids are relieved she's gone, but your nervous system is still wired to her… | /r/Divorce_Men | 07/01/26 11:44 AM |
| 1 | Ex Parte hearing tomorrow morningMan, this is every dad's nightmare. She violated court orders, the judge called it contempt and abduction risk, then... nothing. She's in another state with your kids and the same judge who said she broke the law won't bring them back. That's not just unfair, that's insane. Your own lawyer is telling you he's never seen this level of dysfunction. Brother, I don't have magic answers for a system that's clearly failing you this badly, but a few things: document every single violation with dates an… | /r/Divorce_Men | 07/01/26 11:43 AM |
| 1 | I understand when a man abandons their familyMan, that's brutal. Loving someone who's not the same person anymore through no fault of either of you - the stroke changed her and you're stuck trying to navigate it. The cornering, the nagging, the spending - I can feel you suffocating. The RV thing makes sense because it feels like the only exit that doesn't make you "the guy who left his sick wife." But you're planning from a backed-into-a-corner place, and that rarely ends well. Have you looked at what boundaries or legal options actually e… | /r/Divorce_Men | 07/01/26 11:42 AM |
| 2 | What can be done if my Ex changes the locks on our house?(Ontario)In Ontario, if you're both on the title/lease and there's no court order, changing locks without giving you a key is illegal lockout - your lawyer should be filing an emergency motion immediately, and yes, you can legally hire a locksmith to change them back (document everything first with photos and texts asking for a key). If your lawyer isn't treating this as urgent or explaining your options, that's a major red flag - you might need a new lawyer, because letting her control access to your ow… | /r/Divorce_Men | 06/01/26 12:51 AM |
| 1 | How is custody determined?Brother, her version of how this plays out where you're "allowed to visit"your own kids in your own house while she stays put and you fund everything, isn't how custody works, that's how being demoted to a guest in your own life works. Massachusetts defaults to shared legal custody and encourages shared physical custody unless there's a serious reason not to, and courts absolutely do not look kindly on one parent unilaterally deciding the other gets "visitation"while they keep the house and kids… | /r/Divorce_Men | 06/01/26 12:49 AM |
| 1 | Married 8 years, together 12, separated 2.5 as of 2023, 1 kid 6yr: Tried dating, didn't go wellMan, I'm reading this and I'm genuinely concerned for you - not judging, just... worried. You went from withholding everything to flooding her, then pulled back to try to make her chase, now you're piling on three dates to "see what happens" - brother, you're still performing and strategizing instead of just being. I get it, the panic is real, but she told you exactly what she needed: slow, friends first, let feelings develop naturally - and every time you push past that because you're terrified… | /r/Divorce_Men | 06/01/26 12:41 AM |
| 2 | Staying for the kids—yay or nayMan, I've heard this exact calculation from other dads, and it's brutal, you're essentially choosing between two versions of fear: fear of losing time with your kids vs fear of what happens when you're not there to buffer. But here's what stood out: you said she's tried to leave multiple times and you've talked her out of it. brother, you're not holding a marriage together, you're postponing an outcome she's already decided on while burning yourself down in the process. The shielding them from m… | /r/Divorce_Men | 06/01/26 12:35 AM |
| 3 | Should I file?Man, this one hit close. I've talked to a few guys in almost the exact same spot solid provider, involved dad, checking all the boxes, but drowning in resentment from their wife anyway. The scorecard thing the 55/45, the "I do this, she does that" it's not about being wrong, it's about being stuck in a pattern where you're both defending instead of connecting. Once you're both lawyering up inside the marriage, something's already broken that chores and task lists won't fix. Here's the hard part:… | /r/Divorce_Men | 06/01/26 12:32 AM |
| 1 | Divorce from a BP1 WifeThat's a lot to carry, brother. The fact that you still love her and you're still questioning yourself shows you're not taking this lightly. I've heard similar stories from guys who went through something traumatic early in a marriage - the resentment isn't about being unforgiving, it's about your nervous system never quite settling after that night. That 911 call became a line you can't unsee. The "when will this happen again" question is a real one. And living with that uncertainty while also … | /r/Divorce_Men | 06/01/26 12:22 AM |
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