| Upvotes | Title | Category | Author | Subreddit | Date (UTC) |
|---|
| Upvotes | Comment on | Subreddit | Date (UTC) |
|---|---|---|---|
| 1 | Do most women not love like men or just not capable of loving anyone but themselves?Anything is possible. But I’m not sure I’ll ever marry again, and certainly not without a prenup. One thing I’ve learned over time is that people are too complex to be easily summarized. You can’t accurately predict character or likely behavior from something as simple and one-dimensional as gender. But here is what is true: out of the crooked timber of humanity, nothing straight was ever made. And anyone who tells you otherwise is likely the one being really naive. | /r/Divorce_Men | 23/09/24 01:23 PM |
| 14 | Do most women not love like men or just not capable of loving anyone but themselves?Boy there are a lot of unhappy, bitter men on this sub. My wife divorced me as well, and I wasn’t treated fairly at all; she unsuccessfully tried to take away my kids, and did manage to walk away with $3 million, more than half my assets. But while I have my issues, at least it didn’t leave me hating all women. You guys need help and therapy. If you continue essentializing the character of half the human race, I seriously doubt it will gain you anything but more grief and delusion. Pick yourself… | /r/Divorce_Men | 22/09/24 05:45 PM |
| 1 | Question (Home Equity)Par for the course. Emotion doesn’t come into it, her lawyer will try to get the most money from you. That should be your expectation. | /r/Divorce_Men | 08/08/24 02:42 PM |
| 1 | Question (Home Equity)Call your mortgage lender and ask them if they’ll do an assumption - allow you to assume the loan. If they agree, you’ll need your wife’s consent and will have to pay a fee, usually 2-5% of the outstanding balance. But you’ll get to keep your interest rate. I’m in your exact situation and that’s what I’m doing. My rate is 2.5% so the fee is totally worth it and pays for itself within a year. | /r/Divorce_Men | 08/08/24 02:47 AM |
| 1 | Your Post-Divorce Perspective Of WomenI’m a guy bro. That’s why I have only two female friends; the rest are men like me. Not sure how you read my comment and concluded that I was a woman. I mentioned divorcing my wife. My male friends came through for me but my female friends helped me understand what had actually happened. I was blind to a lot of my wife’s behavior and motivations that they picked up on it was a super valuable perspective to have, and I wouldn’t be so quick to dismiss it. Guys stay loyal out of loyalty; women anal… | /r/Divorce_Men | 29/06/24 04:31 AM |
| 0 | Your Post-Divorce Perspective Of WomenIf they’re all of one opinion and you of another, that doesn’t necessarily make them “ticking time bombs.” That you’re so quick to conclude it does makes me think another possibility may be more likely. That they may be right - and you may be wrong. Both of my close female friends supported me, not my wife. They were actually harsher on my wife’s behavior than I was, and considerably more insightful. And these are platonic friendships with zero attraction on both sides. We’re all in our late 40s… | /r/Divorce_Men | 28/06/24 12:54 PM |
| 3 | Why do some of y’all go for a second round after the first show?Second marriages: the triumph of hope over experience. | /r/Divorce_Men | 13/02/24 04:29 AM |
| 0 | This might be the messiest thing you guys have ever read…If you went to law school, you should know that adultery hasn’t been illegal since women stopped being property. And you should also be familiar with Oliver Wendell Holmes’s observation that the life of the law is experience, not reason. Yes, adultery is harmful. No, humans won’t stop engaging in it, as they have in every society and culture since the dawn of history. They have their reasons. And no, only an idiot would see it in black-and-white. Or a prosecutor. | /r/Divorce_Men | 21/01/24 05:13 PM |
| 0 | This might be the messiest thing you guys have ever read…Hmm, not sure you understood what I said. I’m not defending Op’s behavior. I’m merely pointing out that a good number of commenters excoriating him probably wouldn’t do any better themselves. Especially the ones yelling the loudest. It’s sort of like how rates of infidelity and teen pregnancies are always much higher in the Bible Belt. | /r/Divorce_Men | 21/01/24 04:48 PM |
| 0 | This might be the messiest thing you guys have ever read…What are you, like 12? I speak from experience. When it comes to understanding human behavior it’s better than morality, ideology, faith, or, especially, reason. It is what it is, not what you want it to be. | /r/Divorce_Men | 21/01/24 04:21 PM |
| 2 | This might be the messiest thing you guys have ever read…Newsflash: the world isn’t black and white. Op is no paragon of morality - but life is hard, shit escalates, and there are far worse betrayals than having a side-piece in an unhappy marriage. In short: we could all do worse, but a good number wouldn’t do any better. Maybe including you. | /r/Divorce_Men | 21/01/24 01:41 AM |
| 1 | How much money did you lose in your divorce?I feel your pain. You’re right, the only way is through. | /r/Divorce_Men | 11/01/24 03:16 AM |
| 25 | How much money did you lose in your divorce?$1.5 M - I was the major earner by a 3x factor. Lost the 2.5% mortgage interest rate on a house that I'll never again afford at today's prices and rates; on the hook for alimony for 10 years. Best case, it will take me at least a decade of frugal living or more to claw back to last year's net worth - if ever. It's not so much the money, it's the loss of the security the money provided. One extended layoff or illness, and I'm SOL as far as retirement plans go. Even without that, my kids will take… | /r/Divorce_Men | 09/01/24 12:22 AM |
| 3 | How long after divorce would you consider being in a relationship with other people or marry them?You and he want different things and it doesn’t look like he’ll change his mind - you both did the best and kindest thing for each other by breaking up. | /r/Divorce_Men | 23/09/23 04:22 PM |
| 1 | Statistic: women more likely to marry for money than loveUh huh. There never was a man who dumped his middle-aged wife for a younger, more attractive model, right? Because our male love is unconditional, unlike that “base” female love, as you put it. /s | /r/Divorce_Men | 09/09/23 07:29 PM |
| 1 | Statistic: women more likely to marry for money than loveGoogle is (or should be) your friend. Look at the research. It’s not uncommon for men to leave their wives who are bedridden or terminally ill. It’s virtually unknown for women to do that. So I’m not buying the “I’m a man, my love is deeper” shtick. Men and women are different. What they look for, how they love, how they leave - all different. If you can only understand your own point of view, of course you’re going to find it morally superior. It’s not. It’s just different. | /r/Divorce_Men | 09/09/23 07:25 PM |
| 2 | Statistic: women more likely to marry for money than loveWomen are not more emotional than men - that we hear this is true, doesn’t make it so. The research says that women tend to be more in touch with (can identify and express) their feelings but both men and women feel to the same degree. Anger is an emotion, and one of the few that men outwardly express more than women. Jury’s out on whether that’s nature or nurture/cultural. Probably both. | /r/Divorce_Men | 08/09/23 02:48 PM |
| 1 | Statistic: women more likely to marry for money than loveThis right here. Humans exhibit anisogamy. That means there will be sex-based differences - in behavior, not just looks. If you find women attractive, the behavior is a package deal with the looks. To find a partner who will behave like a man, you’ll need to switch teams. | /r/Divorce_Men | 08/09/23 02:41 PM |
| 1 | Statistic: women more likely to marry for money than loveIf you were a woman, you’d likely be more interested in a partner with resources too, and less interested in casual sex. Most women are, and there are excellent and logical reasons why - women with the reverse preferences are rapidly weeded out of the gene pool. Men and women are different. Why is that surprising? | /r/Divorce_Men | 08/09/23 02:26 PM |
| 16 | Big “D” at 45 leaving nothingAlso, you better hope your STBX doesn’t hire a competent divorce lawyer who figures out the hidden asset game you’re playing. IMO what you’re doing isn’t just illegal - it’s not very smart. | /r/Divorce_Men | 10/08/23 05:59 AM |
| -8 | Big “D” at 45 leaving nothingThe NRA? Why do you hate America so much? | /r/Divorce_Men | 10/08/23 05:55 AM |
| -2 | How to find a lawyer that I can trust?You sound nice. | /r/Divorce_Men | 12/03/23 01:36 AM |
| 1 | Women now a days are incapable of making logical, reasonable decisions. I’m at the point where I’m starting to believe someone somewhere has taken advantage of them and is leading them down a path of ruin. I don’t see nor know what this path benefits but it is utter ruin for them.Different how? So you’re saying that when men display extreme anger - an emotion - they’re not being emotional? You just proved both my points in one go. Also, you imply that murdering one’s spouse is justified when one’s feels are hurt in a divorce (“what do you expect”). If that really is what you believe, find a therapist before you hurt someone or end up in jail. There are emotions other than anger appropriate to a divorce. Hurt, regret, grief … coming to terms with them and developing an em… | /r/Divorce_Men | 11/03/23 05:15 PM |
| 1 | After Pre-trial hearing - don’t know how to feelWell, I’m never going to convince Reddit of how great lawyers are. That said, don’t knock your counsel if you see them joking with the other side or going out for a drink together. If your lawyer can maintain a cordial relationship with opposing counsel it will save you time and money. Your case is personal for you; if it’s personal for your lawyer, you don’t have a good one. | /r/Divorce_Men | 10/03/23 09:51 PM |
| 1 | After Pre-trial hearing - don’t know how to feelI hear what you’re saying but in my experience divorcing women tend to be more rational than divorcing men. Women are more likely to initiate the divorces, and tend to grab whatever they can get, from assets to parenting time. That strikes me as very rational indeed. And they are both better and further along in terms of emotional processing. Men tend to be not as good dealing with emotions (so a lot shows up as unproductive anger) and because wives initiate, they start off further behind anyway… | /r/Divorce_Men | 09/03/23 01:41 PM |
| 1 | After Pre-trial hearing - don’t know how to feelI'm sorry you've had those experiences. The adversarial system is not a good fit for family law. When emotions already run so high for the principals, forcing them to engage in a trial - which is, at bottom, ritualized combat by proxy - isn't optimal. Especially when you want them to get along in the future for the sake of the kids. A better option might be binding mediation with the option to appeal to a judge if the losing party really disagrees with the outcome. | /r/Divorce_Men | 08/03/23 09:19 PM |
| 3 | After Pre-trial hearing - don’t know how to feelEmotionally, I get you dude. But the 200K is a sunk cost. It's already spent. Don't throw good money after bad. If the Op were guaranteed a win at trial, maybe. But a trial is always a gamble. And getting a judge to change his mind takes new evidence. Where will that come from? | /r/Divorce_Men | 08/03/23 07:56 PM |
| 0 | After Pre-trial hearing - don’t know how to feelSee above re point about client (not lawyer) behavior driving outcomes. And FWIW, in the Op's shoes I'd sit back and focus on improving my life -- rather than engaging in more litigation that's unlikely to benefit, but will definitely cost a lot. Trials are very, very expensive. | /r/Divorce_Men | 08/03/23 07:47 PM |
| 0 | After Pre-trial hearing - don’t know how to feelBlaming lawyers is a copout. While there are unethical lawyers out there, at the end of the day most respond to client demands; clients make the decisions. Divorcing parents tend to be highly emotional clients, make extreme demands, and refuse to settle. Source: Am a lawyer (corporate). Also, getting divorced. | /r/Divorce_Men | 08/03/23 07:46 PM |
| -2 | Women now a days are incapable of making logical, reasonable decisions. I’m at the point where I’m starting to believe someone somewhere has taken advantage of them and is leading them down a path of ruin. I don’t see nor know what this path benefits but it is utter ruin for them.This is about the worst advice ever, to invest yourself in "red pill" pop psychology. If you're getting divorced, focus on dealing with the divorce. Blaming women or feminism gets you nowhere. It's like peeing in your pants - you get a nice warm feeling but what have you really accomplished? And GTFO with men being rational and women being emotional. Virtually all of the people who kill their partners are men. This is true even though offing your ex is rarely the logical move. Why does it happen… | /r/Divorce_Men | 06/03/23 11:13 PM |
| 4 | Women now a days are incapable of making logical, reasonable decisions. I’m at the point where I’m starting to believe someone somewhere has taken advantage of them and is leading them down a path of ruin. I don’t see nor know what this path benefits but it is utter ruin for them.I call bullshit. Don't go blaming feminism for your divorce. Your ex, sure. You, probably. Feminism? Stop whining dude, and grow a pair. | /r/Divorce_Men | 06/03/23 04:07 PM |
| 0 | First Anger in New RelationshipWithout knowing the joke, it’s hard to know whether her reaction was appropriate. There are some “jokes” for which that reaction is entirely appropriate | /r/Divorce_Men | 28/02/23 09:19 PM |
| 13 | If you have found, much better women after divorce, where?Second marriages: the triumph of hope over experience. | /r/Divorce_Men | 04/02/23 04:28 PM |
| 0 | Anyone elses ex or stbxw really hot?Boy, you sound like a real catch! They must be lining around the block for the privilege of doing your dishes…amirite? | /r/Divorce_Men | 21/01/23 01:07 AM |
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