Comradepatrick Archive

Upvotes	Title	Category	Author	Subreddit	Date (UTC)

Upvotes	Comment on	Subreddit	Date (UTC)
0	How did you rebuild a network of male friends? Take up Warhammer 40K.	/r/Divorce_Men	13/06/25 11:17 PM
8	What's the pettiest thing she did? She was clearing out our old house to get it ready to sell -- The same house, mind you, that she had insisted just a few months prior that she needed to have during our divorce proceedings, as a safe harbor to raise our children for years to come. Turns out it was just a piggy bank. Anyway, she's cleaning out the house and spitefully texting me as she throws away my belongings that I wasn't able to grab before I moved out. She generously offered to place my great-grandmother's antique china set …	/r/Divorce_Men	17/05/25 07:02 PM
10	Do you all get your children’s mother gifts for Mothers Day? I offered my ex some extra time with the kids on Mother's Day. She declined, of course.	/r/Divorce_Men	11/05/25 01:32 AM
12	Wife said she wants a divorce for autonomy. She does not "get" the kids -- you can and should seek 50/50 custody as the only outcome you will accept. A lawyer will be able to talk you through options and how this is likely to play out. Don't mope, don't chase after her, don't pre-negotiate by taking stuff off the table or giving the farm away. Lawyer up and deal with her coldly and dispassionately.	/r/Divorce_Men	05/05/25 03:34 PM
3	[43/m Single Dad] How do I measure up? You're doing great, keep it up and take care of yourself. When they're 8 and 10 you're gonna have two little dudes who will look up to you in awe and make some incredible memories.	/r/Divorce_Men	23/03/25 02:16 PM
1	I’m abusive for telling the truth Fuck me, that tracks.	/r/Divorce_Men	25/02/25 06:44 AM
6	What to do with the house when my wife wants to keep it but cant afford the mortgage? Would it be dumb to become her landlord? I was in this exact same scenario, and my situation was resolved just last week. She made me an offer to keep the house, in desperation I think because we had a very affordable mortgage and she was eyeing rental prices if she were to move out on her own. So I said yes, you can keep the house, just refi to get me off the mortgage and cash me out for my equity stake. Bye-Bye to that 2.75% interest rate. She refi-ed for closer to 7%. Not my problem. She started out obsessed with the house and inter…	/r/Divorce_Men	16/02/25 08:37 PM
5	I (M/46) just started dating a widow (F/38). Get out there, brother! Have a great time! I have had the odd experience of dating several widows over the last year. I will share one thing with you that one of them shared with me. When someone loses a spouse, there's an entire support network that springs up take care of them, make sure they're fed, assist with child care, house chores, etc. When a newly widowed person does some grieving and concludes that they are ready to hit the dating scene, they typically fall hard for the first person t…	/r/Divorce_Men	15/02/25 02:54 AM
1	How did you handle the pettiness? It's precisely this. I'm going through it right now and you've described it perfectly.	/r/Divorce_Men	26/01/25 05:19 AM
11	I loved my wife and the life we had, I’m doubtful I’ll find another woman like her. You're right, you won't find another woman like her. You'll find a woman better than her. Keep at it, brother.	/r/Divorce_Men	09/01/25 07:35 PM
2	New to this I filed in Oregon last year. Child support is a straightforward calculation. There is an online calendar on the Oregon department of Justice website. You plug in a few numbers, your salary, her salary, the nights per year you'll have the kids (enter 182.5 for each parent if you plan on 50/50 custody), Plus a few additional factors like how much insurance costs for each of you to ensure the kids. The calculator spits out a number and that's it, that's your child support. I will tell you, the sing…	/r/Divorce_Men	04/01/25 05:37 AM
7	How long did it take you to get back to dating after divorce ? I started dating before my divorce was finalized. It was a huge shot of confidence, seeing as how I hadn't been on the market in almost 20 years. I had what my friends called a "hot boy summer" in 2024, and toward the end of the year I connected with a longtime friend who I had always had feelings for. The timing was right for both of us and we've been dating seriously ever since then.	/r/Divorce_Men	03/01/25 09:53 PM
5	What are your 2025 goals post divorce? Complete the refi of my house and receive a large payout check from my ex. Support my kids as their mom moves them to a new school district in the next town once she moves in with her AP. Pay my very reasonable child support and hold the line against other financial requests. Maintain my current weight loss, add some muscle mass. Do some fun outdoor adventuring with my girlfriend.	/r/Divorce_Men	30/12/24 07:58 PM
10	She wanted this…why is she increasingly so hateful? This is it exactly. She needs you to be miserable to match the narrative in her head. If you're not miserable, then that cracks open the door to the notion that maybe, just maybe, she made a terrible mistake in leaving you. Hold your head up high bro. Don't engage with her abuse. Keep it focused on the kids.	/r/Divorce_Men	26/12/24 08:52 PM
5	Those men who are finished with divorce Mine has been finalized for a little less than a year at this point. I initially offered to buy her out of the house, she declined and told me how important it was for her to keep the house for the stability of the kids, etc. That lasted about 6 months before the crushing financial reality of upkeeping a home on her single income became apparent. Then she dangled the possibility of me getting the home back, only to yank it away A few weeks later when I didn't sufficiently crucify myself and beg …	/r/Divorce_Men	18/12/24 04:12 AM
1	You'll get there eventually Damn, this could be my story, except that we were able to move expeditiously through the actual divorce, and now all of her crummy behavior is emerging once we've settled our custody agreement and financial entanglements. She's screeching into the void every week, blowing up my texts with old unresolved issues from our marriage, and I'm just blissfully ignoring everything that's not directly related to our co-parenting situation. Let her screech. Time heals all.	/r/Divorce_Men	11/12/24 09:21 PM
5	What new hobbies or interests have you started since the separation/divorce? Brother, I also lost all interest in tabletop gaming following my divorce earlier this year. It's so odd -- I have more time than ever before to schedule games and hang with my friends, but yet there's no urgency or desire to engage in my gaming hobby. I expressed to my therapist that, maybe, my hobbies are only fun when I have to carefully balance my time to create opportunities to enjoy them. Having infinite free time makes the whole experience ring hollow. Anyway, I got my motorcycle endorsem…	/r/Divorce_Men	05/12/24 03:13 AM
21	Just found out there was another man... you were right (Support) She's some other guy's problem now. Their relationship has started under a dark cloud of cheating. It won't last. Keep a bag of popcorn and a bottle of champagne handy in the back of your cupboard -- you'll likely have a front row seat to the demise of their relationship in a few years.	/r/Divorce_Men	21/11/24 04:07 AM
22	In need of some success stories Brother, it's gonna sound crazy, but you should be glad you ran into her on the apps. The far, far more common scenario that you'll read about on here is where a woman quietly plots her departure for 6 months and has a new man waiting in the wings, and she's able to step seamlessly into a fresh new relationship with your unwitting financial support. Google "monkey branching" to get an idea of what I'm talking about. It's tremendously commonplace. If you've spotted her on the apps, she's at least…	/r/Divorce_Men	27/10/24 07:39 PM
7	Dealing with novel length messages My ex does this same thing. Long ass texts riddled riddled with insults and heckling, Just trying to get a rise out of me. I changed her notification sound to be a turkey gobble, and it has greatly improved my mental health! 🦃	/r/Divorce_Men	21/10/24 02:29 PM
3	Soon to be divorce dad. Could use some honest advice. Thanks Start taking some steps towards selling the house. Invite over a realtor for a walk-through, start boxing up non-essential items, stage a couple rooms to make them look different. Basically show her that you're serious, see if you can call her bluff and get her to let you buy her out.	/r/Divorce_Men	17/10/24 03:22 AM
1	Man this shit sucks Are you reading her emails to me? Lol.	/r/Divorce_Men	14/10/24 01:54 AM
5	Divorced Dating This has not been my experience at all. I returned to the dating scene this spring & summer after my divorce and have had a universally positive experience with none of the transactional stuff you're describing.	/r/Divorce_Men	09/09/24 07:54 PM
1	Financial ruin (divorce) vs. Wasted life (stay) VA is one of those states where you must be legally separated for 1 year prior to divorcing. So if you go this route, do the actual divorce in CA first.	/r/Divorce_Men	07/09/24 02:37 PM
6	Unrealistic thoughts. The loss of identity, your sense of self, is huge and painful. Just remember that you are still a family with your kids. As long as you spend your time being the best dad that you possibly can, you'll find that society is pretty generous to single dads. There's a reason we are the subject of so many fucking rom-coms.	/r/Divorce_Men	05/09/24 11:58 PM
2	Suicidal If you have firearms, get them out of the house. Ask a friend or family member to come over and take them , just for a little while until you're feeling more like yourself.	/r/Divorce_Men	05/09/24 11:39 PM
11	She said, "You could just pick up the dog poop without me asking. You see it just like I do." I've had variations on this exact conversation over the last 6 months as reality has set in for my ex. Your response ("Okay") was spot on. If it keeps up, you'll need to tell her that you're no longer available to receive this kind of feedback, and it must stop, and this is a boundary that you will hold.	/r/Divorce_Men	31/08/24 06:45 PM
19	How did you find out about the affair partner? After we decided to divorce, but still cohabitating and co-parenting, she started spending 2-3 nights a week outside the house. It was implied that I was not to question where she was or what she was doing. The second week, I glanced in her overnight bag and saw dildos and sexy lingerie. Like, a lot of dildos. It was so ridiculous that if you'd told me I was on the set of a reality TV show in that exact moment, I would have believed you. Lol. You can't script this shit.	/r/Divorce_Men	31/08/24 03:00 AM
1	Anger, resentments, regrets He said "involved single fathers," that's the big difference.	/r/Divorce_Men	30/08/24 07:29 PM
10	She's banging someone else Yep, that was my situation. Blindsided when ex asked for a separation. She said all the right things... She wasn't sure if she still loved me, wasn't sure if I was meant to be her partner for the next chapter of life, just wanted some space to find herself and figure out what she wanted. It was all bullshit, of course. She had another guy waiting in the wings, the whole situation was carefully prepared so that she could step from our marriage into an instantaneous monogamous thing with him. I wa…	/r/Divorce_Men	29/08/24 02:37 PM
2	Litigious ex-wife I'm in the exact same situation with my ex. Various realities are setting in for her, and she's realizing that she got a lot more than she bargained for with our divorce. Your ex may very well be realizing the same thing. They'll lash out in an attempt to exert control over things they don't have control of. I'm really hoping it calms down in the months and years to come, because it's exhausting at the moment.	/r/Divorce_Men	26/08/24 01:50 PM
5	Today’s my bday. HBD brother. FWIW I threw myself a good old fashioned early 2000s house party for my own first birthday post divorce. Invited a bunch of different friend groups, let them all just kind of mingle together and enjoy some drinks in my living room. Everyone ended the night with more friends than they started with! It was so much fun everyone is asking to do it again next year. Make your own fun!	/r/Divorce_Men	22/08/24 12:23 AM