~ archived since 2018 ~
~ archived since 2018 ~
| Upvotes | Title | Category | Author | Subreddit | Date (UTC) |
|---|
| Upvotes | Comment on | Subreddit | Date (UTC) |
|---|---|---|---|
| 3 | Nobody told me that 'no closure' also applied to the rebuilding of a lifeOP listen to Risket. He is dropping knowledge. You are never going to get closure from an emotionally unintelligent person. Their immaturity prevents them from it. Like Risket said. What difference is going to make? If you get what you seeking, is that going to change your situation. Closure is a fairytale Disney movies made up. 90% of us will never get a straight or logical answer out of Exes. Most of the fairer sex make decisions off emotions and not logic. You got an emotional explanation tha… | /r/Divorce_Men | 25/06/26 12:49 PM |
| 6 | Run away wife syndrome?I know this is a couple bucket of truth. You can’t fix her. The type of avoidant attachment you describe, she can only be fixed by her and a therapist…..individually. It has nothing to do with you and everything to do with her. Marriage counseling won’t help this. I’ll say again you can’t fix this with love/ affection and a marriage therapist. Remember all the guys here loved their wives, tried to make it work under the most dire conditions, and things still didn’t work out. Marriage counseling … | /r/Divorce_Men | 15/06/26 12:51 PM |
| 3 | New woman, parallel relationship,anyone else been here?If she will cheat with you, she will cheat on you. OP is in a love triangle. | /r/Divorce_Men | 12/06/26 02:46 PM |
| 2 | New woman, parallel relationship,anyone else been here?Straight to the point. We all know the warning sign/ red flags to look for. If she can’t tell you where she is. Cut bait and move on. Your peace is worth more than staying up all night worrying about where she, what she is doing, and who she is with. | /r/Divorce_Men | 12/06/26 02:44 PM |
| 2 | My 8 year old just told me mom’s “friend” is coming to beach with themOP, When there is a huge age gap like that. It’s all about manipulation. She can control him. She can’t control you and that’s why she discarded you. It’s the narcissist leaning playbook 101. Find a subordinate and subjugate them. A real good dynamic for a health relationship. But they are doing it for love right? | /r/Divorce_Men | 12/06/26 02:29 PM |
| 9 | My 8 year old just told me mom’s “friend” is coming to beach with themEvery lawyer in America has an article on their website about the ozempic divorce. It’s really an epidemic. They have to stay on the peptide to keep their results. Once the stop all the weight comes back.The problem these women are going to have is once you separate your insurance. Then they are on their own insurance or paying out of pocket $1000 of dollars to keep on the peptide. Most can’t see the forest for the tree or think about the long term consequences of this experimental drug that ori… | /r/Divorce_Men | 12/06/26 02:23 PM |
| 10 | She is gone and I am EmptyOP, I know what you feeling. It feels like the world is closing in on you. The big feelings you’re feeling right now seem impossible to overcome right now. In the therapy world, they have a term for this called “being in crisis”. Feels very similar to what someone who has been in a traumatic event. Your central nervous system feels on fire. You can’t sleep, you can’t eat, and you have no energy. That’s grief and depression in a nutshell. In order for you break out this funk, you’re going to need… | /r/Divorce_Men | 09/06/26 01:42 PM |
| 4 | Ever Get the Feeling You Were Used?Are we all the same person? I was in my 19th of active duty and my wife had an affair literally 6 months before my retirement date. Luckily we were only married 7 years at the time and only had to pay her a small portion of my retirement. She paid off her student loans and never paid rent/mortgage the entire we were together. She also got a prorated portion of my TSP in the QDRO. It sucked. Everything I worked for since I was 18 years old split into pieces. I sold a house and had to give half of… | /r/Divorce_Men | 02/06/26 02:33 PM |
| 2 | Whelp, didn’t think it would happen…If you are looking for a European Therapist jobs. A lot of the Army/Navy/Air Forces bases are always looking for therapists. No need to transfer a license. They grandfather you in federal system. You just have to maintain the license. They even pay for the move overseas. Just something to look into. Not Ireland, but the England, Spain, Germany, and Italy. | /r/Divorce_Men | 19/05/26 12:51 PM |
| 3 | What do I doJournal, exercise, therapy, eat, sleep, repeat. Cut the booze. It’s sucks but that stuff helps 0% in this matter. You need to lock in for the remainder. The hardest thing you can do is separate your feelings from this process. You have to detach. She is going to see and sleep with other men who are not you. That CR guy isn’t your friend. If he was he couldn’t be talking to your wife and would be supporting you instead of internet strangers. What scum of the earth type dudes active pursue divorci… | /r/Divorce_Men | 15/05/26 01:12 PM |
| 7 | 5 years post-divorce and I still feel psychologically trapped/stuck.OP, from reading your post. I’m hearing you have all the things you need to feel supported. What have you done for your mental health? Are you seeing a therapist. 5 years and you still haven’t recovered. It’s past time to speak to a therapist and get you unstuck. Self care is a practice and doesn’t start and end in a therapist office. It’s a practice that revolves around you focusing on doing what makes you happy and feels good. When you go through a divorce you lose all the things you mentioned… | /r/Divorce_Men | 14/05/26 04:19 PM |
| 1 | Had court todayThat’s a win right there. | /r/Divorce_Men | 10/04/26 04:17 PM |
| 2 | Seeking advice. Unique living arrangement.Bro never stay for the kids. They need to see a happy healthy parent in a normal stable environment. What you are describing (stay in your in-laws home while your ex wife gets picked up by her new boyfriend). It sounds like the making of an extremely toxic environment with the potential for catastrophic result. In no world does that sound like a good idea. I completely get wanting to spend more time with your kids and having a free place to stay. And you should stomach that until you are able to… | /r/Divorce_Men | 10/04/26 02:58 PM |
| 4 | Wife cheatedNo truer word have been said. I had to go through the same. I came out a person I didn’t recognize. | /r/Divorce_Men | 08/04/26 12:53 PM |
| 3 | Military DivorceSpeak to JAG and speak to a civilian lawyer. There is a lot of information that we don’t know about her or your financial status that would impact the divorce settlement. Ultimately as a service member it’s probably going to be hard to not split your stuff in half. Alimony will probably be a given since she could probably prove that every PCS move she had to restart her career over again. So you are probably not going to win the alimony battle. But the percentage might be less than $1000. If you… | /r/Divorce_Men | 26/03/26 02:52 PM |
| 6 | One week since caught her in affair, anyone else wives lose weight on tirzepatideWow who knew all of us would be in the same boat. Funny story, during Covid. The wife and I got in amazing shape. We were trying to be as healthy as possible. Running and lifting weights. My wife was never obese, but she was curvy and I loved it. Once she started slimming down. All the men at her work started noticing. That was my first red flag. We ending up moving to my wife’s home town and then our relationship surprisingly started to drift. She was really feeling herself. We were training fo… | /r/Divorce_Men | 24/02/26 02:35 PM |
| 2 | “Mental Load”Fun fact Jimmy the self proclaimed relationship guru cheated on his wife. I get it that people change and relationships reconcile. But a known cheater would be the last person I ask for relationship advice from. He says a lot of profound things, but he didn’t write them. He is just echoing the Dr. Gottman method. He says 0% original advice on relationships. Literally the only people I take relationship advice from regarding my marriage are successful couples who have been married longer than me.… | /r/Divorce_Men | 10/02/26 03:58 PM |
| 1 | Stuck in LimboBro you need to lawyer up in the worst way. This isn’t going to get better and you are in a hard spot. Your soon to be ex is bending you over the barrel. Lawyer up, get some therapy, and then start fighting for your rights. In the mean time read No more Mr. Niceguy. Stop treating her like a wife and start treating her like a plaintiff in law suit. Seriously she is trying to get over on you and because you don’t know your rights as a father, property owner/leasee, and don’t have a separation agre… | /r/Divorce_Men | 06/01/26 07:07 PM |
| 1 | Anyone ever feel like this?OP, keeping yourself busy is great. Gym, work, kids is the way to go. At some point you are going to have to sit with those feelings. Cycle through all the stages of grief. That’s were the healing begins. All the woo woo stuff they talk about in counseling actually works. Writing a letter and burning it, journaling daily, and having some daily affirmations. It really brought me back from a dark period in my life and I hope that by me sharing those things. It will help another person find their w… | /r/Divorce_Men | 02/12/25 06:21 PM |
| 3 | Anyone ever feel like this?I hope my comments aren’t too deep. I think what you are feeling is a loss in identity. You are having trouble reconciling your new agency. No one is telling you where to be, what to eat, and when it’s okay to sleep or not sleep. It’s a strange feeling that people associate with freedom. When actually it’s you reclaiming the identity you abandoned while married. This transition period is hard for all. It understanding that you are no longer a husband and now a single dad. I hate titles, but that… | /r/Divorce_Men | 02/12/25 02:50 PM |
| 2 | Looking for advice for alimony and retirement.I want to second this. My lawyer said my wife has a Masters degree and a LCSW license. No judge would grant alimony. She made 100k in wages in the two east coast states we lived in. Why does she need alimony? Worry about you and your financial future. After your kid graduates, 50/50 distribution of shared assets and debt is the only thing she should be getting. It’s sounds rough but it fair. | /r/Divorce_Men | 14/11/25 03:03 PM |
| 1 | DivorceYou need to rotate back to the states. With your orders service members can file anywhere. Even if you were married in another state. Loads of guys were divorced during GWOT deployments. All in all you are not alone and there is support for you. My suggestion is talk to JAG, if you know where you are heading after Korea start a conversation ($$$) with a family lawyer back state side. Start gathering your documents to submit the divorce decree, and then file where you are at. If that state is les… | /r/Divorce_Men | 28/10/25 01:25 PM |
| 3 | 30 days laterShe has a lot less power than she thinks she has. Don’t fall for it. Contact jag for free and find out the exact dollar amount you have to give. I think it’s 50% of your BAH. That is while separated. Then get you a family law lawyer. Let them handle the rest. File for divorce time now. Follow whatever your lawyer tells you to do. Don’t go off script. | /r/Divorce_Men | 07/07/25 02:46 PM |
| 1 | New themes of my life: “Yeah but you should have done this”100%. Too often as the husbands we just want peace in our home. We will make almost any concession to have our spouse happy. Happy wife/ Happy life is the worst cliche. It’s called not getting your need met by your partner. Then the weaponizing of intimacy. Once that happens it’s time for counseling. If counseling isn’t an option. It’s a dead bedroom or divorce. Tale as old as time. | /r/Divorce_Men | 27/06/25 05:08 PM |
| 2 | New themes of my life: “Yeah but you should have done this”When you can’t get to therapy, journaling and self help books can fill the void. When you put more faith in what others opinions of you are versus your own opinion. That’s being a codependent people pleaser. No more Mr. Nice guy is one of the suggested reads throughout this sub. I listened to it on audiobook through my Spotify subscription. Then I found a bunch of other relationship books. I used those when I need a break from talk therapy. It’s okay to not feel okay. Getting a stable morning an… | /r/Divorce_Men | 27/06/25 04:23 PM |
| 3 | Being the stable one gets recast as controlling…fastBeautifully said | /r/Divorce_Men | 27/06/25 04:15 PM |
| 4 | How do other men manage their anger without becoming violent?Jujitsu x2 a week saved my life. | /r/Divorce_Men | 24/06/25 04:04 PM |
| 1 | Why do they never level up?It literally is in the title Divorce_Men. That would make it a men’s space. It isn’t a sub about NASCAR or Bowling or Busch Light “open to everyone”. It’s a space for men to air their troubles without having to take every other non man advice. Literally guys asking other guys for advice on how to move along the path toward divorce. What advice could an only fans model give to a guy going through a divorce. This isn’t a fun ask men for advice sub. All the guys here are going through the worst day… | /r/Divorce_Men | 23/05/25 04:48 PM |
| 9 | Why do they never level up?Ma’am did you miss the title of this sub?. Please see you way over to the divorce_women’s sub. Your comments bring no value here. This is a space for men. You can lurk, but your input isn’t needed. | /r/Divorce_Men | 21/05/25 01:55 PM |
| 1 | Retired military receiving full pension and working civil service job. Is there a way to financially prepare now for a divorce that could potentially happen years from now? Should I avoid investing money for fear of giving it all up down the line?There are certain laws the cover garnish ment of your pension. I believe it’s 10 years active duty + 10 years married. She gets half your pension directly from DFAS. If you were only active for 6 years while married, then the court will do their math and you will have to cut her a check. Disability is untouched. If the courts do QDRO half your TSP is gone. Whatever equity you have in home. Half that is hers. It the whole SAHW that is going to kill you. 11 years of no work. Alimony is probably a … | /r/Divorce_Men | 09/01/25 05:57 PM |
| 6 | Any suggestions gentlemen?Therapy helped with the initial shock, journaling helped process my thoughts in between therapy sessions, Brazilian jujitsu helped with my anger/sleep/health, and having a daily routine helped with the day to day. I filled any empty space so I didn’t mope around on the couch. I read lot of self-help/ psychology books. Once I stopped trying figure her out and started to focus on myself things got better. It takes time. For me it was trying to find who I was when I no longer was a husband. My whol… | /r/Divorce_Men | 09/01/25 03:34 PM |
| 6 | I cannot move onJujitsu brother. It was a life saver for me. I’m 41 and if I didn’t find a community of men into taking out their aggression in a positive way. I probably wouldn’t be here today. The biggest insult to your ex wife is silence. Stop caring about her and do best to carve out a nice life. If you think, you being unhinged and angry is going to somehow make her feel your pain. It’s not. That’s just you swallowing poison hoping she gets sick. Stop the self sacrificing and wallowing in your own pain. Th… | /r/Divorce_Men | 19/12/24 03:30 PM |
| 5 | I’m lostMy two cents. Have two journals. One for positive affirmations for yourself. One for the negative emotions. I can’t tell you how much it helps just writing down my feelings. My second recommendation is Brazilian jujitsu. Helped so much with rage stored in my body. The gym wasn’t working for me. I need an outlet and the group of men I found at my gym made it easy to keep coming back. Fast friends and a great workout. | /r/Divorce_Men | 05/12/24 09:57 PM |
| 5 | 36 and dealing with upcoming divorceBrother, you’re dealing with grief and shame from actions you did. Can you blame your STBXW for keeping some distance from you? You admittedly said you were a POS. We have all done things in the past we regret. None of us in this sub are here because we were angels in our marriage. Your substance use was the part of the downfall of your marriage. You don’t get to put the toothpaste back in the tube. What you can do is be the best human you can be. Once that loving feeling is lost. There isn’t a … | /r/Divorce_Men | 30/10/24 01:43 PM |
| 3 | Can’t sleepJournal, therapy, psy meds, exercise, sleep routine, read books not on your relationship or relationship problems. Try to only think about your problems at specific times of the day. (I.e. I’m only going to think about this stuff from 4-5PM, journal about it and then find something to take your mind off it.) I did Brazilian jujitsu. It helped with the physical aggression. I did what I mentioned above and then went to jujitsu pissed off. I would get humble because I’m new to the sport, but it bro… | /r/Divorce_Men | 29/10/24 01:10 PM |
| 4 | Divorce & Death - Two-fold GriefMy deepest condolences. This is tough to deal with and I’m sorry you experienced such heart break. She obviously was indulging in self destructive behavior and there was nothing you could do about it. Please see a therapist so that you can grieve properly and don’t take the survivors guilt. You had nothing to do with her mental health. | /r/Divorce_Men | 23/10/24 01:00 PM |
© TheRedArchive 2026. All rights reserved.
created by /u/dream-hunter