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ConfusedKindness Archive

View 3 posts and 43 comments by ConfusedKindness on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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Upvotes Title Category Author Subreddit Date (UTC)
6

RantConfusedKindness/r/Divorce_Men16/12/24 12:07 AM
3

LawyersConfusedKindness/r/Divorce_Men10/12/24 08:05 PM
0

ConfusedKindness/r/Divorce_Men25/12/24 12:32 PM
Upvotes Comment on Subreddit Date (UTC)
6

Thank you for calling that out! I have not suffered the affront of infidelity, and don’t wish that upon anyone. Reproduction is the purpose of life, biologically; the brains & morals modulate that and reclassify reproduction as “a fun thing to do”. Persons without brains or morals really mess up at the moment that they break promises. Not when coitus happens. What hurts is the broken promises, the “we got together under these assumptions” that goes down the drain. Men, women, whatever in between…
/r/Divorce_Men26/01/25 12:37 PM
2

Hey, thank you! I was soul-searching, came to my solution (no daughter, 50% son) and you were part of the ideas that make me feel secure about these life-changing choices. Sincerely, thank you!
/r/Divorce_Men25/01/25 11:17 AM
2

Hey, thank you! I was soul-searching, came to my solution (no daughter, 50% son) and you were part of the ideas that make me feel secure about these life-changing choices. Sincerely, thank you!
/r/Divorce_Men25/01/25 11:16 AM
1

Hey, thank you! I was soul-searching, came to my solution (no daughter, 50% son) and you were part of the ideas that make me feel secure about these life-changing choices. Sincerely, thank you!
/r/Divorce_Men25/01/25 11:15 AM
1

Hey, thank you! I was soul-searching, came to my own solution (no daughter, 50% son) and you were part of the ideas that make me feel secure about these life-changing choices. Sincerely, thank you!
/r/Divorce_Men25/01/25 11:14 AM
1

I’ve read quite a few posts from guys who just let themselves die inside, for the sake of family. Myself included, guilty as charged. Was absolutely not worthwhile in my experience. I’m sour and never got what i wanted for their education. It sucked. I made the wrong choice. That said, i’m tripping my balls off with feelings of abandonment (i don’t want custody); it’s really hard to navigate the soul-searching. I don’t wish that upon you. But being bullied sucks…. No more. That’s over. Hope that…
/r/Divorce_Men06/01/25 08:27 PM
2

I feel you. This doesn’t seem like a healthy relationship. Think about what you want; if you want to continue with, or without her constant presence in your life. You sound like you are a good provider, so you’d have no fear of shared custody. Define and prioritize your objectives, and get ready for negotiating “new terms” to your relationship. She can agree or disagree; fully responsible of her decisions… but you have the opportunity, then, to explain that it’s either to be agreed upon, or you’…
/r/Divorce_Men06/01/25 12:20 AM
1

Thank you, again. Most importantly: i think we share a lot of values, as i find no offense to those that you put forward in your answer. You express them differently, but that’s what i’ll think about. I’m soul-searching and it’s not effective to do it alone. That’s why i posted on social media wilfully. It’s going wonderfully in this and other threads/subs. I respect your input sincerely, although i did make lightly of it. I have my reasons to have no attachment link (lien d’attachement?) with t…
/r/Divorce_Men26/12/24 11:34 PM
1

Wow, that was a sensitive comment and i’ll digest it slowly. Thank you. I won’t lie, i found it hard and i questioned a lot about myself for a long time. That said, i have been talking divorce to stbx for so long, and openly with the kids (what did you understand? What do you think about that? Any other questions?) that they are not surprised. Everything is running smoothly in the house. Stbx is doing her once-a-year german meatballs, got some help from the daughter (begrudgingly) and my son cam…
/r/Divorce_Men26/12/24 11:10 PM
0

I’m glad i wrote back, you did offer a thoughtful advice from your own perspective. That, i appreciate sincerely. I sacrificed my “happy-hippie” life to give all i have to a family. Not any family, because there’s a shitloads of family in need, without being necessary to create one of my own. But i wanted to help shape philosopher kings, future adults that will make their life fruitful to themselves and others. I messed up by choosing the wrong partner and lost a cultural war of attrition. You s…
/r/Divorce_Men26/12/24 08:48 PM
1

You seem to have thoughts to offer. If you have more patience to read, i’d like your feedback on this: I lost a long war of attrition. When my weekly offer to share an evening together (anything, from walking the dog to boardgames, passing through bike rides or picnic at the marina) had become a formality (i intimately called it gathering my rejections, so i can’t think i failed to ask; a safety precaution against my self-criticism); it ends up hurting. The “nice” stbx is encouraging them to be …
/r/Divorce_Men26/12/24 06:08 PM
1

Here, try this: Thanks for making me think. Most trolls don’t post more than once, so i thought to post this here, in the chance of gathering more of your perspective. You’re probably on the defensive, mea maxima culpa, but if you answer then i win. What do you make of that? I lost a long war of attrition. When my weekly offer to share an evening together (anything, from walking the dog to boardgames, passing through bike rides or picnic at the marina) had become a formality (i intimately called…
/r/Divorce_Men26/12/24 06:05 PM
1

Here, try this: Thanks for making me think. Most trolls don’t post more than once, so i thought to post this here, in the chance of gathering more of your perspective. You’re probably on the defensive, mea maxima culpa, but if you answer then i win. What do you make of that? I lost a long war of attrition. When my weekly offer to share an evening together (anything, from walking the dog to boardgames, passing through bike rides or picnic at the marina) had become a formality (i intimately called…
/r/Divorce_Men26/12/24 06:05 PM
1

Dude, that was appreciated, and again with a days’ decanting! You also seem to be going through change, tell me about it! Yours is the type of sharing i was hoping for; if you care to write it, i’m eager to read it. In other comments, i have gathered the “feedback” available here and am trying to tease out a bit more. I don’t care much about the average joe&josie’s opinion, but it’s good heeding what people get really wrapped up about; to see another facet of the circumstances. Obviously i’m dis…
/r/Divorce_Men26/12/24 06:00 PM
-1

Your username is enough to fool me into a second attempt. Try this? Thanks for making me think. Most trolls don’t post more than once, so i thought to post this here, in the chance of gathering more of your perspective. You’re probably on the defensive, mea maxima culpa, but if you answer then i win. What do you make of that? I lost a long war of attrition. When my weekly offer to share an evening together (anything, from walking the dog to boardgames, passing through bike rides or picnic at the…
/r/Divorce_Men26/12/24 05:38 PM
1

Here, try this: Thanks for making me think. Most trolls don’t post more than once, so i thought to post this here, in the chance of gathering more of your perspective. You’re probably on the defensive, mea maxima culpa, but if you answer then i win. What do you make of that? I lost a long war of attrition. When my weekly offer to share an evening together (anything, from walking the dog to boardgames, passing through bike rides or picnic at the marina) had become a formality (i intimately called…
/r/Divorce_Men26/12/24 05:37 PM
1

Here, try this? Thanks for making me think. Most trolls don’t post more than once, so i thought to post this here, in the chance of gathering more of your perspective. You’re probably on the defensive, mea maxima culpa, but if you answer then i win. What do you make of that? I lost a long war of attrition. When my weekly offer to share an evening together (anything, from walking the dog to boardgames, passing through bike rides or picnic at the marina) had become a formality (i intimately called…
/r/Divorce_Men26/12/24 05:36 PM
1

Hey mate, i’ve been thinking of telling you this all day: the lyrics of Tripping Daisy (eg the songs Motivation, I am good, Pirañas) has been really helpful in remaining sensitive and true. That said, i had a good day after all. I was playing boardgames with nice people. During that time i took the brunt of what reddit had to say about my post, and some was disagreeing, some was not; all in all a good result! I’m not sure i agree with the appearances over substance statement. You don’t disclose …
/r/Divorce_Men26/12/24 04:19 AM
0

Sounds like you misunderstood much. But thanks for trying, i suppose.
/r/Divorce_Men26/12/24 03:50 AM
1

Sorry i missed the comment earlier, i’ll reply now albeit late. I’m not sure how you know them, but you seem to care much for them. Go and have at it, they’re all yours if you want them! Get right it there, i won’t oppose. Promise.
/r/Divorce_Men26/12/24 03:34 AM
1

I can’t understand your expectations with this comment, sorry.
/r/Divorce_Men26/12/24 03:31 AM
1

Adding onto someone else’s comment doesn’t make it more relevant. It just makes more noise.
/r/Divorce_Men26/12/24 12:35 AM
0

This doesn’t reflect well on you.
/r/Divorce_Men26/12/24 12:34 AM
0

Thanks for the perspective.
/r/Divorce_Men26/12/24 12:33 AM
1

Thanks for the advice, it is welcome! I agree and that’s why i put it in a public forum. Better hear perspectives i need to hear now, than when i’ve taken actions and must have confidence. Cheers!
/r/Divorce_Men26/12/24 12:32 AM
1

Thanks for your thoughtful answer, it’s appreciated. If it can help you as well, i find the lyrics of Tripping Daisy (Motivation, I am good, Pirañas) are really helping foment perspectives in the moment i’m living.
/r/Divorce_Men25/12/24 11:37 PM
2

Thank you very much for reading and answering thoughtfully. I sincerely appreciate that and i’ll add your perspective to my thoughts. Cheers!
/r/Divorce_Men25/12/24 10:56 PM
1

Thanks, love the username.
/r/Divorce_Men25/12/24 10:35 PM
1

Not my perspective, but thanks for sharing yours.
/r/Divorce_Men25/12/24 10:27 PM
1

See above.
/r/Divorce_Men25/12/24 10:24 PM
1

Cheers mate! Thanks for sharing also! Your story has spurred some good thoughts in me. I don’t like all the thoughts that came up, but they came to awareness. I phrase it like that because it’s hopefully more useful than saying that i started balling and will put the phone aside a bit. Cheers mate, be good 😌
/r/Divorce_Men25/12/24 03:08 PM
-1

Yes i do. Read the other comments if you’re interested.
/r/Divorce_Men25/12/24 03:03 PM
-2

Sounds like you understand my perspective, without agreeing necessarily, so thank you for taking the time to read!!! It’s not a midlife crisis. My german wife insisted on living in canada 20 years ago. Me, canadian, wanted to live in europe. We let on a plane, me a young intellectual seeking organic coffee in central america; her a bar-finishing lawyer doing a co-op in costa rica. We had a five-year plan to gtfo of canada and live where we could make a difference… the only reason for all this wa…
/r/Divorce_Men25/12/24 02:58 PM
-3

I have not been idle in the last 20 years, if that’s what you imply. I have lead the way, alone. Opting out, by the kids, of the lifestyle i wanted to influence onto my own kids was not just accepted. It was also lead by example by my stbx. Examples range from a weekly family game night; to hiking our camping weekend instead of a commercial camping… ordinary stuff that matters the most. Please don’t take me for who i’m not.
/r/Divorce_Men25/12/24 01:43 PM
-4

I summed it to “i wanted philosopher kids, i got american idiots”. They have a good head, friends and are better-than average in school. I think i had a positive impact on their value system. Mom is the poster-child of “being nice”. I lost all the important fights with stbx; from living in Canada instead of Europe when we got married 20 years ago; and slowly but surely, about keeping the kids on a steady regimen of electronic devices rather than doing things as a family. Ffs! Their “christmas” w…
/r/Divorce_Men25/12/24 12:50 PM
1

I made my own plans, boardgames with a group where i know only one person. With the games, new stories & general holiday hoo-haa, i should be able to forget about the discomfort. Cheers to all that needed to read this post. Mine is with a local microbreweries’ scotch ale. Santé!
/r/Divorce_Men25/12/24 12:01 PM
1

Hmmm i summed it up by 2 mantras: “pirates were killed mercilessly” - i lost my creativity and sense of adventure “i wanted kids who are philosopher kings, not american idiots” - i lost battles over & over again about the level of effort that should be dedicated to education (knowledge acquisition & intellectual skills practice); and now they are, culturally, typical north-american. The slander refers to Green Day’s album.
/r/Divorce_Men20/12/24 02:41 PM
1

I agree, that’s how it sounds and i was not at my best (or most coherent) when i wrote it. It’s more a “defensive taunt” i think , in retrospect. I invite them to test my resolve? Anyways, your perspective is appreciated!
/r/Divorce_Men20/12/24 01:25 PM
1

Definitely should not have picked up the phone yesterday. Sorry.
/r/Divorce_Men16/12/24 10:35 PM
1

Answer to my own question, for my location: Wait. We can have mediation when we can, but filing happens after a year if there’s nothing urgent.
/r/Divorce_Men11/12/24 05:24 PM
2

Sensible answer, thanks for paying attention 🙂 On a waiting list for community jurists; lawyer if it hasn’t happened early January. Cheers!
/r/Divorce_Men11/12/24 12:48 PM
1

Hey, sorry, i didn’t ask you to justify yourself. I also have a similar perspective / issue and i am one that sucked it up and thought i’d wait for the kids to be 18. That’s cool, “i do me” and i can change my mind. “You do you” and that’s what you do best. I just wanted to encourage you to show your best side to your future-ex and your forever-kids. I set myself that objective; i don’t want to look back upon this and think of actions i may regret deeply.
/r/Divorce_Men03/12/24 01:58 PM
3

About divorcing, to spare the kids: “The married version of me is dull, annoyed and uninteresting.” I share that with you. Make sure you remain an interesting father though; as those are 2 different things. You can be distant from your future-ex, but not to the kids! I have tried to wait out my “sentence” with my partner until the kids are 18 and i’m failing, my youngest is 11. I won’t hold on like this and suffer another 7 years. I think we may have been better persons to the kids (although the…
/r/Divorce_Men01/12/24 09:18 AM
You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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