ConscientiousBee Archive

Upvotes	Title	Category	Author	Subreddit	Date (UTC)
17	Towards male equality in divorce and standard litigation playbooks women use		ConscientiousBee	/r/Divorce_Men	29/06/26 11:40 AM
2	Experiences of Hinge for OLD near London		ConscientiousBee	/r/Divorce_Men	11/07/26 02:14 PM

Upvotes	Comment on	Subreddit	Date (UTC)
1	UPDATE: Just had the talk That sounds about right	/r/Divorce_Men	03/07/26 02:21 PM
4	UPDATE: Just had the talk It certainly sounds like it! I think there are certain types of women out there who are, to put it bluntly, self-centred, self-entitled freeloaders, with zero empathy for their partners. My ex fits the patterns of a covert primary narcissist. She had a narcissistic mum who she's estranged from, and now she's repeating that pattern. I also think there's a standard litigation pattern these sorts of women follow aimed at maximising financial gain, which I expect comes from another Reddit forum. The…	/r/Divorce_Men	03/07/26 07:07 AM
6	UPDATE: Just had the talk Yeah, how true. You may be about to find out who your ex really is, which can leave you thinking "Who the f*!k is this person?". I had to reconcile myself with the reality that my ex was never truly in the relationship. Things broke down when she could no longer maintain the façade.	/r/Divorce_Men	03/07/26 05:36 AM
14	UPDATE: Just had the talk The first attack is horrible. The moment she crossed the line into litigation, everything changed and you have to become very formal and tread very carefully. I'm sorry you're going through this. Don't be surprised if she makes a range of false and serious accusations and tries to bait you into conflict to try to manufacture "evidence" that you're unstable and have you removed from your home. If this happens, stay calm, document everything. Be prepared to start recording all conversations. As ot…	/r/Divorce_Men	03/07/26 04:50 AM
1	All going wrong with the kids "Silver bullet attempt" - New term to me. Looked it up. That's exactly what happened to me last year. One moment I thought we were heading for an amicable separation, the next, I'm hit with a letter from her solicitors making a wave of serious and unsubstantiated accusations - Abuse, coercion, financial control, fraudulently running my company. This was followed by attempts to bait me into conflict. Then honey trap attempts. Most of that has died down, though she's still playing the victim to wh…	/r/Divorce_Men	01/07/26 09:23 PM
2	I thought my year long nightmare was finally over… Oh man - Sorry to hear that you're going through this. I went through something similar back in Feb and know how that feels. I now have to wait until next year for the final court date. Stay strong.	/r/Divorce_Men	01/07/26 08:37 PM
1	Towards male equality in divorce and standard litigation playbooks women use I don't think there's a gender link to trustworthiness. I struggle with the idea that because my partner choice was off, that all women are therefore untrustworthy. Whilst I've come to the conclusion that my ex was never really fully in the relationship, and that's a difficult realisation. Ultimately, I chose to be in a relationship with a specific type of woman. I missed/didn't know how to interpret the subtle signs that something was off which, with hindsight, were always there. The questions …	/r/Divorce_Men	01/07/26 11:06 AM
1	Living with the soon to be ex wife 100% It's time for her to become a responsible adult and proactively build her own independence rather than depleting you. You might initially have to help her a bit financially though.	/r/Divorce_Men	30/06/26 09:06 PM
5	Towards male equality in divorce and standard litigation playbooks women use Oh hello dear, I was just discussing our divorce with the guys.	/r/Divorce_Men	30/06/26 04:37 AM
2	Towards male equality in divorce and standard litigation playbooks women use Vent away mate. It sounds like you've had a rough time of it too. I had exactly this recently: "...trying to get you to agree to only use ADR in future is another thing". This happened when she realised I was preparing to ask a judge to enforce the structured childcare pattern we agreed in mediation last year but she was avoiding implementing. Suddenly she wanted to resolve things before the facts were clear ahead of the final hearing and probably screw me and my kids on the childcare arrangemen…	/r/Divorce_Men	29/06/26 08:30 PM
1	Towards male equality in divorce and standard litigation playbooks women use Serious stuff! Yes. There's an imbalance in the quality of evidence. I have to document everything so carefully and even then, there can be suspicion. Conversely, she seems to be able to cry "coercion, abuse, primary care" and it's accepted without question.	/r/Divorce_Men	29/06/26 05:36 PM
4	Towards male equality in divorce and standard litigation playbooks women use Mine never cleaned the house. We shared the cooking, and in the last couple years I looked after the kids the majority of the time. She suddenly became much more proactive about childcare as soon as she initiated legal proceedings. Same as you, people generally don't believe me.	/r/Divorce_Men	29/06/26 05:23 PM
3	Towards male equality in divorce and standard litigation playbooks women use You know, my ex asked for the family car at FDR. At the time, I couldn't commit to that because it was owned my company. I then figured out how to make the transfer and offered it to her at the lowest value the tax man wouldn't challenge. She immediately turned it down stating that it was unsafe, uninsurable, and unsellable... A four year old, dealer serviced car, that she'd been driving regularly... So I said, no problem. I'll have it MOT'd, serviced, and ensure any faults are fixed. I'll also …	/r/Divorce_Men	29/06/26 05:18 PM
11	Spinning the block Stay strong and centred. There are good women out there. You don't need one who messes with your peace and takes your energy.	/r/Divorce_Men	29/06/26 07:45 AM
1	Male 38, just about to go through Divorce, any advice? (UK) The courts won't allow to walk away from her and leave her impoverished. I doubt you'd want that for your kids either. You'll probably need to provide tapered spousal maintenance for a period to enable her to build independence. You might also need to help her with careers planning.	/r/Divorce_Men	24/06/26 09:44 PM
1	Anyone UK based going through divorce? Yep. This is my situation. We agreed to separate, everything seemed amicable, i was suggesting a mediated settlement, then boom! A solicitor's letter arrives making all sorts of false allegations, then she bypasses the financial mediation process and files for financial remedy. Next she started trying to bait me into conflict, presumably to manufacture evidence to have me thrown out of the family home. That was over a year ago now. It completely blew my world apart. Not having kids should make t…	/r/Divorce_Men	24/06/26 09:39 PM