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Consistent-Citron513 Archive

View 1 posts and 199 comments by Consistent-Citron513 on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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Upvotes Title Category Author Subreddit Date (UTC)
11

DATING ADVICEConsistent-Citron513/r/RedPillWomen22/01/25 08:47 AM
Upvotes Comment on Subreddit Date (UTC)
5

Yes, and I have never regretted it. There were times dismissed it and tried to just continue the conversation, but it becomes clear what they're looking for so in the end, all I did was waste a bit more time.
/r/RedPillWomen21/08/25 05:24 AM
10

It kind of goes without saying that we should not expect people, men or women, to be attracted to everything just because it may be something we do or like. Women can wear what they want and also shouldn't be offended over a matter of preference. I've never liked nail polish on guys (it has been a trend before). I also don't like tattoos or piercings of anything other than the ear (and no gauges). I don't like excessive chest/body hair. We've all got our things.
/r/RedPillWomen03/07/25 11:07 PM
1

Advice that you don't like is not the same as a lack of advice. Do with the responses what you will. You have 2 obvious choices: Accept your physical flaws and work on your insecurities. Few, if any qualities guys will want to deal with your race obsession. Ruin your looks further by skin bleaching and surgeries to become something you aren't.
/r/RedPillWomen23/06/25 02:45 AM
2

Without context of the fight, there is no "wrong" here. There are different coping strategies & what seems to be different attachment styles. You are anxious and want to cling closer. He needs space and the repeatedly reaching out can feel like smothering. Give him the space and when calmer heads prevail, try to talk out boundaries and what you both need as individuals as well as from each other. I'm a mixed bag. Internally, I feel very anxious after a fight or disagreement. I want to reach out,…
/r/RedPillWomen21/04/25 03:11 AM
5

Not necessarily. There can still be romance, and all the typical stuff involved, and a spark can develop as you get to know a person. This is just pointing out how the initial spark/butterflies that people feel is not a true indication of love or compatibility as we're often led to believe. Not having a spark can also be seen as a positive sign for some. For instance, people who grew up with abuse /trauma will often get feel the spark when they have met another abusive/toxic person. They take it…
/r/RedPillWomen17/04/25 03:47 AM
18

The "spark" or "butterflies" is not important. Movies and books romanticize it way more than it actually is. There is no correlation to the "spark" and a long term, successful relationship or even true compatibility. The spark/butterflies is an increase in dopamine related to excitedness and/or nervousness. Not having the spark/butterflies can be a good thing & it is very normal.
/r/RedPillWomen17/04/25 12:28 AM
2

Yep. From John Travolta as Danny Zucko to real life examples. I have always been drawn to that style. For me, it's the mix of confidence & laid-back demeanor. Clothing wise, it's attractive and pretty timeless style.
/r/RedPillWomen16/04/25 09:02 PM
3

I'm in a very similar boat.
/r/RedPillWomen14/04/25 08:03 PM
1

Just keep looking. Is grad school the only reason you want to remain in the state? If so, maybe when you're done with school or at least close to finishing, you will have better luck. I also don't want to move away. My family is here and I want my future children to have the same close family ties that I had growing up. Easy access to grandparents, cousins, etc. I haven't faced the issue of guys wanting to move though because all the ones I've dated want to/already have established themselves he…
/r/RedPillWomen10/04/25 01:47 AM
3

As someone with a black mom, this outlook makes me sad. Your race, which is identified by physical traits, is not a flaw. If you speak eloquently and carry yourself a certain way, that goes a long way. I have heard that black women are less successful on dating sites, especially if you're looking to date interracially. You will have to put yourself around the sort of people that you're looking to date. I don't think anyone is misunderstanding. They're addressing the insecure view of yourself tha…
/r/RedPillWomen08/04/25 02:21 AM
4

In my last relationship, I brought it up. We had been seeing each other routinely for weeks, so one night while we together, I asked him straight out "do you consider us to be exclusive". I already believed that we were, and he seemed to be interested, but I didn't want to just leave it at an assumption and simply "liking" someone is a different matter. He confirmed it.
/r/RedPillWomen07/04/25 06:55 AM
2

More modern (3rd & 4th wave) feminism isn't for me. I'm all for women having equal rights under the law and autonomy. This new take on feminism has drifted away from that and their meaning has become less clear other than promoting victimhood and a sense of entitlement rather than equality. Women (or anyone) being kept as property is absolutely wrong.
/r/RedPillWomen07/04/25 06:48 AM
11

More modern (3rd & 4th wave) feminism isn't for me. I'm all for women having equal rights under the law and autonomy. This new take on feminism has drifted away from that and their meaning has become less clear other than promoting victimhood and a sense of entitlement rather than equality. Women (or anyone) being kept as property is absolutely wrong.
/r/RedPillWomen07/04/25 06:48 AM
8

If you don't feel good about it, it's best to move on. Going in half is fine if that's what both people want & the other person is also contributing half in cleaning, cooking, etc. It's not something I would go for & it doesn't sound like you want to either, so you guys aren't compatible.
/r/RedPillWomen05/04/25 07:08 AM
6

Words are very easy to say and pretty much everyone will claim they that they will change when you're ready to walk away. Yet his effort didn't improve before this point. Actions are what matter and he introduced you as his "friend" twice. I agree with your friend and the comments from last time (I remember the post). If his heart is in the right place, he would have done these things already.
/r/RedPillWomen31/03/25 12:12 AM
7

Move on from this.
/r/RedPillWomen23/03/25 09:40 PM
2

Okay. that makes sense. Unfortunately, the guy I mentioned turned out to not be as great as he started out being but I dodged a bullet pretty early.
/r/RedPillWomen21/03/25 09:00 PM
2

I don't think he is either. It's very unfortunate, but at least this was revealed before you took bigger steps.
/r/RedPillWomen20/03/25 07:50 PM
3

In the grand scheme of everything else that can happen in life or in a relationship, temporarily moving in with someone you have been dating for years should not be an issue. Ideally yes, it would be discussed over time, but life doesn't always run so smoothly. This situation isn't how anyone wants it to happen, but yet here it is. Your partner needs help, you are in a position to help them and also advance to the next step in your relationship. A step that you should be willing to take if you a…
/r/RedPillWomen20/03/25 07:22 PM
52

He is showing you who he is in your time of need even when the risks are not that high. Unless he doesn't have his own place, I wouldn't understand the hesitation at this point since you've been together two years and known each other long than that. You have your parents, so it's not like you'll be on the street, but where is his willingness to support? If this is how he behaves when the stakes are low, what would be his response if you had a more serious issue & actually needed to depend on hi…
/r/RedPillWomen20/03/25 03:15 AM
2

You're very welcome.
/r/RedPillWomen20/03/25 02:54 AM
9

I do think you're overthinking this. Your definition of 50/50 is more from a financial standpoint, which is the common usage of the term. His definition seems to be based more on contribution. Even though you plan to be a sahm, I think his point is that through housework & future child raising, you are still contributing 50%. Also, even though you don't financially contribute much, I think he's just glad to see that you're not entitled. He can support you without feeling used, which is probably …
/r/RedPillWomen19/03/25 10:26 PM
3

I imagine so. I feel like it would be earth shattering.
/r/RedPillWomen19/03/25 05:28 AM
3

Absolutely.
/r/RedPillWomen19/03/25 05:27 AM
56

Nothing about this sounds like someone whose leadership you should follow. He was foolish enough to think soap could be used as lube and blatantly disrespected a boundary after you already said no. He placed his own desire above your boundary & possible health. He then guilt tripped you for not going along with his terrible idea. This is all very manipulative. Frankly, it's not okay to tolerate "once in a while" because a pattern is when it becomes abusive. Being good otherwise doesn't make it a…
/r/RedPillWomen19/03/25 05:23 AM
9

I'm very sorry you're going through this. I'm on the asexual spectrum as well, but I make it a point to let people know as I know it may not work for them. It's honestly messed up that he deceived you like that all these years.
/r/RedPillWomen19/03/25 05:11 AM
7

I can definitely relate to what you're saying. I feel very similar except for the age thing. When I was younger (early 20s), my vision did involve an older man in his 40s, if not older. Now, I'm fine if he was to be in the same age range as me (30s), but everything else is still the same. This could just be my personal experience, but I think as I got older, I started to care less about the age when it came to attraction because I've gotten to a point where people have more experiences & "grow i…
/r/RedPillWomen17/03/25 05:03 AM
2

Yep, it makes perfect sense & I pretty much do the same in regard to keeping my style, yet accommodating it to their interest. It's always modest though.
/r/RedPillWomen17/03/25 12:07 AM
5

Agreed! It's a strange thing to focus on to me because men will like different things. The advice here could be what 10 conservative men want and the next 10 may not care or like that style. My normal wear is a polo shirt and jeans/shorts. I have a pair of overalls and the last guy I dated (who was of course, conservative) said he liked them on me. He liked very simple low-key styles. He also hated makeup, which is fine since I don't wear makeup. If I'm going somewhere formal, I know how to dres…
/r/RedPillWomen16/03/25 09:48 PM
6

I would entertain it just because that's how I am, but that definitely doesn't seem normal to talk to any stranger about, mom or not. I would never think to randomly bring it up to someone I'm not acquainted with. It is statistically true though that most women who have them tend to already have at least one child.
/r/RedPillWomen13/03/25 03:47 AM
0

Lol, nope, I'm in Texas. I guess it's just me or my definition of "average". They're all very pretty for sure, but not what I see as "head turners" which is the line I draw for beautiful. This would be someone like Margot Robbie, younger Angelina Jolie, & Julia Roberts.
/r/RedPillWomen13/03/25 01:40 AM
2

You're very welcome! I don't have a minimum or maximum number of qualifications as it's something I recently started doing myself since I also had an issue with falling for guys and rushing things or allowing them to rush me. I have seen the benefits for myself though. For now, I have just separated it into major checkpoints: values/behaviors that they must possess or it's a dealbreaker vs minor checkpoints: things that I'm not necessarily a fan of, but I'm willing to compromise, bring to their …
/r/RedPillWomen13/03/25 01:18 AM
14

There's nothing you can do about it since you can't take back the experience. Some men may have a problem with that but honestly if that is going to be their deal breaker, then they are not for you. People make mistakes and this was apparently one time you did it without the commitment of being in a relationship. Think about your long-term goal. I have found it helpful to think about the things I value or the positive attributes of what I would want in a partner and make notes about it. Take it …
/r/RedPillWomen13/03/25 12:17 AM
0

The line is very subjective as is beauty. It depends on what your personal taste is. For instance, in terms of famous women, I would say Chloe Grace Moretz, Saoirse Ronan, & Florence Pugh are average. Others may disagree. I consider myself to be average. I receive enough compliments about my looks to where I guess, I could be considered beautiful by others, but that's not how I see myself anymore due to weight gain.
/r/RedPillWomen12/03/25 10:17 PM
13

I don't understand. Why would I want to be amoral? None of those tips would be followed by anyone who actually wants a loving, healthy relationship which is want many women on here do want if they don't have it already.
/r/RedPillWomen12/03/25 06:54 AM
1

Thank you. Yeah, there's no way that I can tolerate that anymore. I have also never seen it work out for the kids. Various family members have tried to stay together "for the kids" and the kids have grown up to be adults who struggle to have healthy dating/marriage relationships. If I had kids, I don't think I would seek full custody if the cheating was his only problem. I would go for primary custody as I wouldn't want them bounced back & forth with joint custody. My niece & nephew are going th…
/r/RedPillWomen12/03/25 05:16 AM
3

I don't mind at all. So, my parents were never married. They broke up when I was about 18 months. In my childhood (before age 18), my father was married twice. While he was both married & unmarried, I saw his different girlfriends/mistresses. He would often use me as a prop to attract the women by acting like "father of the year". The impact was that it was completely normalized to me. It was nothing to see women come & go. As I got older, I could see on some level that cheating was wrong or tha…
/r/RedPillWomen12/03/25 01:46 AM
22

I would leave and make sure that I get half of his income. Cheating on me at all, but especially more than once is not truly taking care of me. If he says that he won't sleep with someone & I still find evidence, then he's lying, which is another deal breaker for me. My father and pretty much all the men on his side of the family are/were serial cheaters. It's something that I told myself I'd never stand for, and all trust would be broken.
/r/RedPillWomen11/03/25 05:04 AM
2

I hope you will too! I'm sure it will happen. I'm not sure about any books specifically about emotional regulation, but there seems to be a book for pretty much everything.
/r/RedPillWomen09/03/25 06:33 AM
10

There is no "hitting the wall at 25", so the first thing to work on is getting that out of your mind. Focus on your health, which it seems you are at least a bit since you mentioned that you lost weight. Losing 33lbs is a lot to mention. Give credit where it's due. I'm neurodivergent as well (autistic in my case). Do you know the qualities that you want to develop that would encourage someone to want to date you? If so, spend time reading books or watching videos on those subjects.
/r/RedPillWomen08/03/25 09:26 PM
10

His idea of loyalty is you accepting and enabling his negative behavior without saying anything about it or expecting him to change. It is manipulation, as well as the first sentence in your EXTRA section.
/r/RedPillWomen03/03/25 04:17 AM
2

Good question. I'm actually not sure. I assumed that was the literal name. I agree that it's very sad.
/r/RedPillWomen01/03/25 08:29 AM
9

I've never heard of her, but the thought of living in a town supposedly bought and named after a husband sounds too close to "Stepford Wives" territory and very questionable on its face. It's absurd actually. Even if a person manages to own a small, unincorporated town, it would still come up on an internet search because it's public records. I do believe this is just another prime and disturbing example of how far some people will go for attention seeking. Like Amanda Reily who faked cancer or …
/r/RedPillWomen01/03/25 07:40 AM
1

My dating period was full of abuse of all sorts (financial, verbal/emotional, sexual, & physical). I also have a broken picker lol. I am currently dating a guy who so far appears to be the total opposite of what I'm used to and I do think he is suitable for marriage. Can I ask what made you pick the date of July?
/r/RedPillWomen27/02/25 05:34 AM
2

I see what you're saying. Well, there are "professional matchmakers", but from what I've heard, it's not worth the cost. A matchmaking service also relies on trusting another person's judgement. I feel that if people were involved in the community like they used to be, this would be less of an issue. For example, the days when people were more involved in local social clubs, had hobbies that involved other people, etc.
/r/RedPillWomen26/02/25 03:44 AM
5

Keywords here at the start was "honeymoon phase". The first 6 months to year is supposed to be the most fantastic time and people, subconsciously or consciously, tend to put their best foot forward. As a fellow psychology nerd, a Behavior Analyst, and someone who has a history with passive aggressive and avoidant personalities, this is for him to work on fixing, not you. What you would do is offer support. That's not to say that you have done everything perfectly, but there is no amount of submi…
/r/RedPillWomen26/02/25 01:58 AM
9

I would not agree with this for the simple fact that it relies too much on the parents having sound judgement and actually caring about the wellbeing of their kids. If we lived in an ideal world, yeah maybe this would be a nice idea. However, there are way too many parents who are either A. Well-meaning and friendly but lack proper judgement of people or B. Couldn't give two cents about the child or their wellbeing. I believe that my mother would choose a good match for me. If my father had any …
/r/RedPillWomen25/02/25 11:52 PM
1

Yes! I'm also glad that he actually cares enough to tell me all the ins & outs of his day. It's very different for me. The last guy I dated would never tell me even though I could clearly see that he was upset more often than not and took it out on me. He said there was no point in telling me since I couldn't do anything about the problem, but I would try to explain that I could at least offer emotional support and I really did care.
/r/RedPillWomen24/02/25 09:46 AM
2

It varies by the individual. I was in my first serious relationship at about 24/25, but I was nowhere near ready for marriage and I didn't see it as important as I do now. By 29, I was in a better space and felt that I was ready but wasn't dating guys who had good qualities for marriage. I didn't fully understand that they were unheatlhy at the time, but my intent was "date to marry" and I was only with people who said they felt the same. In short, I started at looking at 28/29 and that's when I…
/r/RedPillWomen24/02/25 05:01 AM
12

I ask him about his day and try to engage in conversation about things that are of great interest to him. Many of the topics he enjoys like cars for example, I'm not that knowledgeable about, so he gets to teach me something and I can see that he's excited to share. I also cooked dinner for him (us) for the first time recently.
/r/RedPillWomen24/02/25 04:42 AM
1

I used to deliver for Instacart on the side.
/r/RedPillWomen23/02/25 04:18 AM
5

This was very helpful to me as well. Thank you for sharing! Incremental reciprocation was something I have been doing lately, but didn't know the term for it.
/r/RedPillWomen21/02/25 09:21 AM
10

I think that submission can start within a relationship before marriage and then of course increase once you're married and officially start your life together. If you're naturally submissive, you see ways that it may already come out because it's part of who you are. However, him taking the more dominant role doesn't mean that he can dictate how you spend your time (unless that's what you agreed to) especially since you aren't even living together yet. I would be cautious about him preferring t…
/r/RedPillWomen21/02/25 05:17 AM
2

You're welcome!
/r/RedPillWomen16/02/25 11:11 PM
4

"Daddy issues" can present in very different ways, so it depends on the traits you're talking about. Some men think they like a girl with daddy issues because they believe we're slutty as you said, but that is just one factor that may be true for some women & the guy may fetishize it. It doesn't mean they actually like the girl (or any girl) with daddy issues. They just like what they're getting out of someone like that and don't understand the different complexities of daddy issues. I have "dad…
/r/RedPillWomen16/02/25 10:48 PM
2

I still find other men attractive even when I'm in a relationship. Have I ever lusted after another man while dating, no.
/r/RedPillWomen13/02/25 04:51 AM
3

"Mono" means one. If either party has other partners, that is not monogamy by the very definition of the word. This arrangement would be ethical non-monogamy. It's not something I would ever consider unless as another commenter mentioned we're talking about a man of millionaire or billionaire status who can benefit me in a way that I couldn't ever gain singlehandedly. In relationships, I've never "seen other men" or lusted for anyone else. There was only my commitment to that person.
/r/RedPillWomen13/02/25 04:48 AM
2

You're welcome! Best of luck.
/r/RedPillWomen12/02/25 02:18 AM
7

It sounds like you're doing better than you're giving yourself credit for. I also have CPTSD starting with childhood abuse and that increased from several abusive dating relationships. I understand the feeling of being behind compared to other women (or people in general) your age and struggling with things that seem to come easily to others, but I think you guys are going to be okay because you're working on yourself, your relationship, and you are aware of your more difficult areas like lackin…
/r/RedPillWomen12/02/25 02:06 AM
1

I have a deeper and naturally monotone voice. I have also always stuttered, though mine is a fluency disorder and not necessarily from speaking too fast. I had speech therapy for several years as a child to reduce the stuttering. I learned how to change my voice to sound lighter, more expressive, etc when I got a job working with children. My supervisor worked with me on using a "Disney princess" voice. It was basically just a lot of practice and imitation. It's not something I tend to use outsi…
/r/RedPillWomen10/02/25 12:05 AM
1

I love Susan Egan! Granted, I only know her Disney stuff, but her voice is iconic and one of those that's easily recognizable.
/r/RedPillWomen10/02/25 12:01 AM
4

I've experienced it multiple times. There is no overcoming it. He's right that this is just who he is. That doesn't mean it should be okay, but that is the reality, and he will not change. It is not about trust, but control. Marrying you and having children with you will "allow" him to exert more control (in his mind). Trust is not a factor for him. The options are to stay in this dynamic that will progressively get worse over time or you can leave and save yourself years of sadness & disappoint…
/r/RedPillWomen09/02/25 11:42 PM
2

Way to go! Keep up the good work.
/r/RedPillWomen08/02/25 02:40 AM
2

#1 would be my guess. What are the ages & and how long have you guys been dating? I don't see the harm in asking him his reason or even asking him at least once if he would pay for the plane ticket. It would be good to gauge how he reacts when asked for a favor that may be an "inconvenience" to him.
/r/RedPillWomen03/02/25 02:16 AM
12

Do the polar opposite of nagging and making fun of him.
/r/RedPillWomen01/02/25 04:35 AM
7

It tends to occur naturally. I'm not one to bring up discussions of sex right off the bat, but of course, a lot of guys will bring it up early and I state my views then. If we go on 2-3 dates & they still haven't brought it up, I will ask them their views about physical intimacy and then express mine. I don't want to seem like I'm dragging them along or wasting time.
/r/RedPillWomen30/01/25 02:14 AM
2

Thank you!
/r/RedPillWomen30/01/25 02:01 AM
10

My personal stance for myself is a mix of option A & B. Waiting until marriage is my goal, but I also won't beat myself up if it happens after a time of serious commitment that's expected to lead to marriage. While it's true that a guy can wait you out for sex (my father did that with wife #3), I don't believe most people are that calculating. From my experience, when they know your stance, they will either tell you upfront that they don't agree, or they will share that same value. I have had me…
/r/RedPillWomen29/01/25 06:34 AM
1

Thank you very much! We did have further conversations about what I'm comfortable doing regarding physical things. Now that I've laid it out there, we'll see if he respects it.
/r/RedPillWomen29/01/25 02:34 AM
2

Appreciate it!
/r/RedPillWomen28/01/25 04:55 AM
5

I would not quit my job for that purpose that he stated. The reason he is stating comes from his own insecurity in some way. We could work on addressing that and helping him feel more secure, but quitting a job is not the solution. If you're pretty, you likely have guys hitting on you regardless, so that won't resolve his issue.
/r/RedPillWomen28/01/25 12:59 AM
2

Thank you! Following through with the action is where I still tend to fall short. I've been working to get more comfortable with it in therapy. I agree that listening to respond as opposed to understanding is a red flag.
/r/RedPillWomen28/01/25 12:44 AM
5

33F here. I have found it more difficult to form lasting friendships since I was in my late 20s. I had friends from college and we still keep in touch on social media, but we have all moved to different parts of the country. At that point in your late 20s/early 30s, I think fewer people are looking for friends because they have their own established friend groups and life routines. You meet some good acquaintances, but not many people you're willing to modify your circle for. I have made two las…
/r/RedPillWomen25/01/25 08:05 AM
1

Yeah, I see what you mean.
/r/RedPillWomen23/01/25 10:49 PM
1

Thank you.
/r/RedPillWomen23/01/25 10:49 PM
3

Right? Extremely bold. I've only had that happen one other time with a guy & it was my very first relationship. It didn't end well.
/r/RedPillWomen23/01/25 10:47 PM
2

Thank you. You're right, no gentleman would have done that and it is possible that he could be future faking. I've had that happen before.
/r/RedPillWomen23/01/25 10:38 PM
2

Yeah, I hadn't thought about it, but there are weirdos out there like that who feel entitled.
/r/RedPillWomen23/01/25 10:27 PM
1

Thank you! I will read them. Regarding the questions, we both want children and marriage. The timelines also match up for the most part give or take a few months to a year. He has stated that he is dating seriously and would like to get married within a year or two. He also said he has dated younger women, but it has been more difficult for him to find one who is ready to settle down.
/r/RedPillWomen23/01/25 12:15 PM
7

Thank you for the honesty & I realize it's very plausible even though we both stated our views on sex. Sex before long-term commitment is not something I'm willing to budge on, so if I continue to get those vibes or feel pressured, I will walk away.
/r/RedPillWomen23/01/25 09:11 AM
1

Thank you. I feel that I probably should have done more, but it's still more than I would have done in the past, which would be to do nothing.
/r/RedPillWomen23/01/25 06:57 AM
1

Oh, I never have private meetings early on. This was all in public but there weren't many people around.
/r/RedPillWomen23/01/25 06:51 AM
8

Thank you for that. I also thought it was a pretty clear boundary.
/r/RedPillWomen23/01/25 03:31 AM
2

Thank you for that. I do find him attractive and as we've been talking, he does seem stable. I let him know that. When he was touching me, I did gently move his hand to another part of my body that I was comfortable with. He'd leave it there for a bit and then try to get to the previous spot that I moved him from.
/r/RedPillWomen23/01/25 12:46 AM
0

Thank you. I would like to continue seeing him again. My first dates have usually involved a bit of touching, like hand holding with a brief kiss at the end of the date. It's never been trying to make out and constant touching. I told him that I didn't like the kissing and clarified that it wasn't because I'm not interested in him, but I felt that the amount was too much that early. He told me that I was just shy and continued.
/r/RedPillWomen23/01/25 12:25 AM
4

Thank you! Also to clarify, I didn't reciprocate the tongue, and I did tell him that I was not comfortable with the amount of kissing so soon. He told me that I was just shy and continued to kiss. I'm not shy though, it really did just feel too fast for an initial meeting.
/r/RedPillWomen23/01/25 12:16 AM
3

Agreed. I'm not religious, but I definitely agree that if you are dating someone and discerning marriage, it should always be together if you truly are serious about figuring out the next steps with that person.
/r/RedPillWomen23/01/25 12:04 AM
22

If he says it's okay for you to look other people, he's not that interested. Nothing about that implies that he's willing to wait for marriage for you. You can also certainly do better than a guy who's more than twice your size. As for the weight, I won't tell you to lose weight, but as someone who has also struggled with weight issues and at one point was more than 250 lbs (I think 285 was the highest), I can tell you that many people have to try more than twice. Don't give up. Calorie counting…
/r/RedPillWomen22/01/25 06:36 AM
4

He's not serious. I wouldn't say you're a placeholder, but he doesn't seem like he's willing to commit to you. Since you're in a different place, there could already be a whole other person involved with him locally. Look at actions & not words. He looks down on people who date years without marriage, yet that's exactly what he's doing, and he hasn't given a plan on how this will change. 2025 just started and he's already postponing for a whole year because his career isn't going well? If my car…
/r/RedPillWomen20/01/25 01:47 AM
3

Yeah, I hope when you talk more about it, the expectations become clearer. Also, be sure to observe if he begins to continuously make excuses like being stressed, tired, etc. Not saying he's being malicious since I don't know him, but that is a common manipulative tactic. A partner will respond in a way that seems "odd" for how they usually do, and then they will say it's due to stress, being tired, etc. The other person lets it go, but then it becomes an excuse until you see that it has nothing…
/r/RedPillWomen19/01/25 08:55 AM
24

It is very appropriate to express your emotions and see whether expectations align. What is "everything". You mentioned that he doesn't pay your bills, so "everything" is a moot point. You asked him for something he already said he would provide. People should not start what they don't intend to continue. I would have a heart to heart.
/r/RedPillWomen18/01/25 07:07 AM
7

This is going to end just as it started: a disaster. The fact that you look like his daughter and younger is a big red flag in itself on top of everything else you mentioned. This is not a tradwife relationship. This is pure dysfunction and a way for him to have a relationship with someone childlike without going the illegal route.
/r/RedPillWomen10/01/25 06:51 AM
2

Thank you! Not all men are that shallow and honestly, if a man is going to be the kind to cheat or leave you, he will do it regardless of how much sex you're giving him.
/r/RedPillWomen10/01/25 12:14 AM
1

I actually like Brett Cooper. My take on what she says isn't that people shouldn't have any standards whatsoever, but that they should at least consider being flexible and not so rigid in their standards that they dismiss anyone who does not check every single one of their standard boxes because you may miss out on something good. This is something I've seen people of both sexes do. For instance, when my mom was dating previously, her standard was that the guy had to be wealthy, hardworking, phy…
/r/RedPillWomen09/01/25 01:22 AM
1

Here in the US, someone not having savings or having very low savings doesn't necessarily mean they don't know how handle/manage money. That may be the case sometimes but there could also be other reasons like debt from medical issues, school, etc. If they are stuck living in a more expensive area, they may have a decent job that's enough to pay the bills and that's it. If he has a fine job, that's a good starting point and we can work on building a savings and improving financial literacy if we…
/r/RedPillWomen05/01/25 08:19 AM
26

I haven't come across that, but that level of transparency by posting your salary seems more like showing off to me and I wouldn't be interested. Humility wouldn't seem like a trait they possess.
/r/RedPillWomen04/01/25 12:07 PM
4

You cannot get into a relationship and expect that people change to please you. Your options are to change yourself, stay in the relationship and accept the roles you both already had, or break up and find someone more suitable. Play is needed to keep fire burning in a relationship when people actually enjoy that sort of play. It's obviously not his thing and it is not a "need" for everyone. It is apparently a need for you.
/r/RedPillWomen28/12/24 07:59 AM
1

You're welcome!
/r/RedPillWomen27/12/24 11:27 PM
-2

I find it to be a weird question. My last boyfriend was the first person to ask me and even though I answered honestly, I found it very weird and invasive and if put in the situation again, I don't think I would answer. It's nobody's business, honestly.
/r/RedPillWomen27/12/24 11:07 PM
2

You're welcome. Nope, you absolutely don't want that. I'm glad you recognize that fact. There's no real way to shut it down even when you stick up for yourself and try to set boundaries. It's just how those sorts of people are and yes, they will always escalate to try to break you down completely.
/r/RedPillWomen27/12/24 08:01 AM
14

I am very sorry that happened to you! I can't express that enough. As someone who has had my share of abusive relationships, I'm somewhat in awe that the social worker said men like him usually improve. While a very small minority might with years of therapy, most of them don't and it's not a one-time thing. It was an intentional act to do you harm and he admitted as such. He showed no remorse which is a key indicator that it is not a one-time thing. *Maybe* the SA is a one-timer, but the abuse …
/r/RedPillWomen27/12/24 06:04 AM
9

Candace Cameron-Bure and Melissa Joan Hart are two that come to mind. They haven't outright discussed RP, but they are open and unapologetic about their traditional beliefs and conservatism. Leigh-Allyn Baker and Patricia Heaton are two more in this category. There are a few others that I kind of speculate. They don't talk about their personal stances enough for me to be sure, but they also don't spout "progressive" messages like most of their celebrity peers.
/r/RedPillWomen27/12/24 05:29 AM
2

People have always known to some extent about the dark side of Hollywood. It stretches back before P Diddy was even born. I don't think that most "regular" people worship or idolize them. There's always a minority who may, but again, this is nothing close to new. It is also typical of younger people to gobble it up and then it wanes as you get older. My perspective is that for most people, following them is something fun to do and it's also fun to watch their movies, listen to their music, etc. …
/r/RedPillWomen26/12/24 10:08 PM
5

Yes, this is it. It's not about how you're treated, not the money.
/r/RedPillWomen26/12/24 09:26 PM
3

Not having a biological father is different from not having any male father figure though. While no man can replace the benefits of a good biological father, a positive male figure is what is needed more than the biological aspect. There are also other factors that make typical single mother households a detriment. In addition to the lack of involved father in the home, those studies about single mother households also have other factors involved such as the likelihood of higher poverty rates, i…
/r/RedPillWomen24/12/24 04:39 AM
1

I don't think there is really any way to meet half way when it comes to having children. You will either have them or you won't. The party who wants children but doesn't have them will feel like they missed out and potentially be resentful. The party who didn't want kids but ends up having them will not be the best parent and again, there may be some resentment. My uncle is one who wanted kids while his wife did not even though she knew how important family was to him. They ended up having a dau…
/r/RedPillWomen24/12/24 04:26 AM
1

You're very welcome!
/r/RedPillWomen22/12/24 12:08 PM
4

I'm in the same boat. While I would love a traditional relationship & family dynamic, I feel that my time is running out for having children (I'm 33) and my dating relationships have not been a positive environment. I don't want my child to have the same situation of an abusive father that I had. I want children more than anything and financially, I know I'm capable of raising at least 1 and we live comfortably. I also have a big supportive family. I've also had the same conundrum about beliefs …
/r/RedPillWomen22/12/24 02:10 AM
1

This sounds like immature games.
/r/RedPillWomen19/12/24 11:43 PM
8

I've been in a similar situation. I've had several abusive relationships and grew up with abuse as a child. Our mind becomes addicted and conditioned to the chaos. You could try roleplaying and looking at Dominant/submissive dynamics. It would also be beneficial for you to work with a trauma therapist.
/r/RedPillWomen19/12/24 11:06 PM
18

You can definitely have all 3.
/r/RedPillWomen17/12/24 03:06 AM
4

OP still made a poor choice here. This whole situation could have been avoided by not having sex with someone who was practically a stranger. Granted, any man (or woman) could use someone in this way, but your chance of being in a situation like these decreases when you make sure you're aligned, have heart to heart talks, and established commitment before sex. If you try to do these steps but still get exploited, then you can say that you were deceived. If you decide to work backwards with sex f…
/r/RedPillWomen14/12/24 11:40 PM
1

Very true.
/r/RedPillWomen14/12/24 11:30 AM
25

Sounds like he was never interested. You can say that you didn't want him to think you were easy and that you were looking for marriage, but actions speak louder than words. Having sex not only once but twice within a month of meeting indicated something else to him and he got what he wanted with little to no true effort. Now that you're talking about actual commitment and deeper feelings, it was time to bounce.
/r/RedPillWomen14/12/24 10:20 AM
2

You're very welcome! I understand the excitement for marriage but don't give them all the privileges before it's time. Some guys will get too lax too fast. If he already has all the pros to marriage without having to adjust to the harder, less fun parts that actually result in him having to make changes, there will be little to no motivation to do anything differently.
/r/RedPillWomen13/12/24 03:33 AM
9

You can always limit the number of trips you make. You also don't have to be the one cleaning and cooking for him every time. You are a new girlfriend, not a wife or even his official fiance. With my last relationship, we also lived an hour away, but I was the one who worked full time. As much as we wanted to see each other, we both knew it wasn't practical or logical for either one of us to pack up and go back & forth for days. We spent time together on the weekends and since I do travel differ…
/r/RedPillWomen13/12/24 02:20 AM
2

Many people end up with someone they didn't expect. Sometimes that's a good thing and other times it isn't. Nobody will check all of our boxes because nobody is objectively perfect, but you have to determine if they are checking the most important ones. I think coming from toxic relationships, it's important to ask ourselves when we get with someone who is relatively decent, are we exaggerating our grievances or are these things likely to be a long-term issue? For instance, my best friend has ha…
/r/RedPillWomen12/12/24 09:17 AM
4

I hope that you don't have it and are able to have the family you want. While endometriosis can make it more difficult, statistically most women who have it can still get pregnant.
/r/RedPillWomen08/12/24 01:30 AM
15

You don't know how pregnancy will affect your body. The last thing you would want to happen is to be sick on your wedding day or while trying to plan. Why are you rushing it? A family will be there after marriage.
/r/RedPillWomen07/12/24 10:51 AM
1

I don't see why he has to use a pet name every single time. I dated one person who only wanted to use pet names and I personally found it annoying to only be called "babe" for years and to only be able to call them "babe" because if I used their actual name, they thought I was mad. It feels less genuine when done every single time, at least to me.
/r/RedPillWomen07/12/24 06:19 AM
3

My mom calls my stepdad Sweetie, Handsome, & Love. I've used Babe and Darling in the past. You could try various ones and see what sticks.
/r/RedPillWomen07/12/24 06:03 AM
3

My weight has fluctuated throughout my adulthood. I don't weigh myself because at one point, it became an unhealthy obsession, but I monitor it based on how clothing fits. I know what size range I have been at my felt my best and was pleased with how I looked. At my heaviest, I do know that I was about 220 and dropped to 150. The biggest differences were in my energy level and confidence. I felt prettier. Socially, there was no significant difference for me. People were still nice and I still da…
/r/RedPillWomen06/12/24 12:19 PM
5

I can relate in a way. I don't have a problem getting commitment. It just always happens to be with abusers, but that's my own issue.
/r/RedPillWomen04/12/24 11:20 PM
2

Okay, I understand. I'm sorry you're going through this and I can relate from your end. I feel that in any relationship, but particularly when dating someone who is neurodivergent, it's important to find that middle ground and be able to meet people where they're at. There are things that we can do to improve the communication skills that he mentioned such as attentive listening and reflecting before speaking. You say that he knows you try to take care of him emotionally and he sees it. At that …
/r/RedPillWomen29/11/24 11:47 AM
2

I'm autistic myself. I don't look at it as a "correct" way of expressing love, just different. My affection is very much sincere, but I am not the "typical" lovey-dovey outwardly doting woman. Have you guys talked about where you feel the barriers are regarding your end and how he feels about it. Do you know exactly what he's expecting? Maybe researching and discussing love languages will help find a middle ground.
/r/RedPillWomen29/11/24 10:54 AM
22

I agree with the sentiment overall. My maternal grandmother married a wealthy man (my mom's stepfather). That wasn't her "goal", it just happened. My grandmother made her own money and did pretty well herself. On the outside, things seemed good. My grandmother was able to save all her own money. He didn't want her to financially contribute in any way, so he paid the bills and her money was for whatever she wanted to spend it on. She was able to retire at 60 and not have to worry about anything. …
/r/RedPillWomen28/11/24 08:04 AM
10

I just hold true to that boundary. I do OLD as well. I let the guys know early on that personally, I do not want sex outside of marriage. Either they accept that if they don't ideally feel the same, or we can part ways if it's a deal breaker for them. It's a very big thing for me. The relationships came as we got to know each other. We spent significant amounts of time talking about our values, interests, desires, etc. Not just as it pertains to romance, but life in general. They came to know me…
/r/RedPillWomen27/11/24 07:05 AM
2

Totally agree. I have also thought in the past that I would be fine with a guy who is unsuccessful as long as there were other good qualities, but nope. Unless we chose to ultimately lose ourselves and give up our drive, it gets to a point of being irritating and there is a buildup of resentment even if it's only internally. I don't need you to make millions and it is sketchy that's even a goal at that age given how unrealistic it is. I do need to see that you're making a concentrated effort to …
/r/RedPillWomen27/11/24 04:36 AM
3

I can relate. I was more career-driven in my teens & early 20s. Not girl-boss level, but I had no desire for marriage and was on the fence about having children. I had major mental issues in my early to mid 20s. I started to get back on my feet around 27 and started to rethink things. I became more drawn to the idea of a traditional lifestyle and thankfully the career that I ultimately chose will accommodate that. Changing views/goals is a part of growth. My mom was a single mother who worked in…
/r/RedPillWomen27/11/24 03:17 AM
10

It sounds like he does need a reality check. At the same time, he is an adult and needs to take the initiative to hire a performance coach, therapist, whatever it is that he needs. You cannot get him to change if he is complacent and the complacency is evident by him not putting forth real effort to change his situation. People don't change without serious motivation, but nobody can give that to another person. It has to come from within and generally happens when there is a natural consequence …
/r/RedPillWomen27/11/24 01:51 AM
14

Half of the temptation will be cut off if you stop having sleepovers. It's unnecessary and counterintuitive to what you say you want (abstinence). Why do you see each other "so little" and how are you defining that? Keep visits to daytime, in public, and around others. Even when in private though, if one is serious and adamant about this goal and has basic self-control, it can be done.
/r/RedPillWomen25/11/24 11:38 PM
4

That's being a doormat. I have had D/s relationships outside of the bedroom. It is a 24/7 thing for me. I'm submissive, but I still have standards. One of those standards is not standing for a poly relationship. You're still supposed to maintain boundaries, which is something these women as well as the men who manipulate them into this don't understand.
/r/RedPillWomen20/11/24 12:38 AM
2

I always let the man pay. It's how I was raised and it's a good litmus test for me.
/r/RedPillWomen19/11/24 02:45 AM
21

I used to ignore it. I grew up receiving the silent treatment (which is an abusive & manipulative tactic, btw), so I was not phased when my partner did it. I continued about my day as normal, completely unphased. This would make them angrier. They stopped using the silent treatment and moved on to worse things.
/r/RedPillWomen14/11/24 11:13 PM
5

They could be either, but I'd speculate more lean conservative.
/r/RedPillWomen13/11/24 11:47 PM
–

There's nothing for you to do. You offered to help and he declined it. It's his class, his grade, his responsibility.
/r/RedPillWomen12/11/24 08:14 PM
5

I agree 100%. I'm naturally submissive and didn't seriously start dating until my early 20s. Looking back even then, I still wasn't ready due to lacking boundaries and a sense of self.
/r/RedPillWomen12/11/24 06:33 PM
7

You're welcome. Your mom probably is very happy, and your father is probably a good leader. I'm sure he has never assaulted her. Also, holy crap, I just saw your age. That's worse than I thought. Your parents should be the one giving you this sort of advice. Do they know what happened?
/r/RedPillWomen12/11/24 06:19 PM
3

I don't know your whole situation, but I will say that you're not weak. I've also been addicted to someone and in love. In the end, we have to do what's best for us though, whatever that is for you.
/r/RedPillWomen12/11/24 10:46 AM
33

No. In that case, what happened was assault and I'm very sorry. From a religious/traditional standpoint, women let men lead when it comes to providing financially and making the big decisions within the household. That is reserved for a husband and to some extent, the boyfriend you're in a serious relationship with. It does not mean letting any guy move further with you than you're comfortable with or following the lead of any man. What they also don't tend to teach in Sunday school is that the …
/r/RedPillWomen12/11/24 06:46 AM
5

I think it's ridiculous. If you don't want to date, marry, have sex, or have kids that's your choice but I don't see why it has to be a movement and the only reason more women in the US are talking about it is because of the election, which is more ridiculous to me. What is that supposed to prove?
/r/RedPillWomen09/11/24 11:07 PM
1

You're welcome! Best of luck.
/r/RedPillWomen09/11/24 10:56 PM
3

I felt this to be true in theory but thank you for providing sources for it! I have an anxious attachment style, so it makes sense in addition to other reasons why I like this.
/r/RedPillWomen09/11/24 10:40 AM
2

Yes, for sure.
/r/RedPillWomen09/11/24 10:36 AM
4

I actually don't see the problem with this. From what you say, it's completely consensual and it's what you want. It pretty much sounds like a power exchange relationship. I can see why you would get "hate" for it because there are people who don't understand. While some of my values & "rules" would differ, I agree with your overall sentiment. I have also been called "anti-feminist", "brainwashed", "Serena Joy" (Handmaid's Tale reference), etc. I personally don't care and find it ironic that tho…
/r/RedPillWomen09/11/24 04:22 AM
–

I've found that on Reddit from men & women in general except for this sub and maybe 2 or 3 others. Not even just on Reddit really, but across social media.
/r/RedPillWomen08/11/24 11:24 AM
10

Personally, I would not. I had a guy ask me out on a date & I agreed. He set the day that initially worked for both of us. He cancelled later because he said there were too many parties he wanted to go to that weekend and asked if we could reschedule. Even though he let me a day in advance, I didn't give a second chance because it was a dumb reason & that made it clear where his priorities were if he couldn't fathom potentially being late to one party out of multiple ones over a weekend. With #1…
/r/RedPillWomen08/11/24 01:32 AM
2

This is not normal to me at all. As awful as my exes were, they would have never let me walk home at night. None of the decent men in my family (stepfather, brother, uncle, etc) would let me or any other woman in their life do this either.
/r/RedPillWomen08/11/24 01:23 AM
2

Yes, that's true. I'm very glad for her.
/r/RedPillWomen06/11/24 01:32 AM
5

My parents were never married and they broke up when I was a year old. I still saw my father, but he was never a good parent or person. He is a sociopath. From the time I was 6 to 9, my mother was married to a dangerously abusive man and we escaped. I never saw a good example of marriage growing up, but my mom is now married to a great man that she met when I was 20. Since I'm not yet married, I've been able to learn from them now over the last few years. She is not as traditional as I am/would …
/r/RedPillWomen06/11/24 12:53 AM
1

If you have insurance, you can search for providers within your network on psychologytoday .com. That's how I found my current therapist.
/r/RedPillWomen02/11/24 10:56 PM
3

Join different clubs & activities. Honestly, dating in college is not one big sex party. Yeah, you have the hypersexual, promiscuous people but there are also just as many decent people who are not looking to rush anything. You will meet those guys who want sex early on, but stick to your morals. You may have to be single longer because of this, but the benefit will be greater. If they truly care about you, they will maintain the relationship and respect your stance. Ideally, they would actually…
/r/RedPillWomen01/11/24 04:04 AM
3

I think that the engagement should be as long as it takes to plan the wedding. For some people who want a big wedding with a venue and other things, it could take a year or 2. When my mother married, she wanted a destination wedding within the country, but a different state. The engagement was 5 months. This was time to allow people to save up money and plan for travel. I'm not currently engaged but I've never wanted a big wedding. I would like to just go to the courthouse and honeymoon out the …
/r/RedPillWomen31/10/24 12:13 AM
2

Some people manipulate and misuse the word "boundaries". Boundaries are supposed to be implemented to maintain our physical/mental/emotional safety as well as to create a healthy balance between our needs and the demands of others. You telling him that you don't feel comfortable discussing a book is a boundary. Him saying if you don't take it seriously, it's a dealbreaker is not a boundary. That is a demand of how you should think/behave if he's going to stay with you. It is the polar opposite o…
/r/RedPillWomen23/10/24 07:03 PM
5

I'm very sorry you're in that situation. It seems here that he broke your boundaries since you said several times that you didn't want to talk about the book. It's not fair or reasonable that he would make it a dealbreaker for not taking the book seriously. That is manipulation on his part. You mention that you have a cluster B personality disorder. Do you think that he might as well? Just asking because it is unfortunately common for two people like this to get together and he disregarded your …
/r/RedPillWomen22/10/24 02:33 AM
1

Sorry, I thought I read in another comment that you're in the UK.
/r/RedPillWomen09/10/24 11:49 PM
1

I personally wouldn't recommend online dating and I say that as someone who does it. The difference is I'm 32 and my work is more independent. I'm in a supervisory position and when I am around people, it's only children & women. I'm also very introverted. While I have dated guys whom I met in person first, online dating is easier for me to meet others as I don't really like large groups of people. I would recommend going to more school events. Anything that you are remotely interested in. You c…
/r/RedPillWomen09/10/24 12:08 AM
3

I agree. I'm autistic as well and this seems like a one-dimensional idea of what femininity is. I'm also not lovey dovey or very affectionate, though I do try to show more of it. That doesn't mean I'm not feminine, but I never have been or will be a "girly girl", for lack of better words.
/r/RedPillWomen06/10/24 12:12 AM
1

You're welcome.
/r/RedPillWomen05/10/24 02:44 AM
1

You're welcome.
/r/RedPillWomen04/10/24 11:50 AM
5

This sounds like a very normal situation. It's not uncommon for one person in a relationship to have a backup plan & be a bit anxious or want to be prepared for different outcomes while the other person tends to be more laid back. I am "plan B" person. It doesn't mean I have a lack of trust. It's just having alternatives lined up if needed.
/r/RedPillWomen04/10/24 06:13 AM
3

I think your answer is good for that one. Work is going well, you're in a seasonally slow time of year right now and just enjoying the moment. I manage my own insurance and even I don't fully understand it without someone helping me. I would just be honest & say "I have no idea. (Husband) keeps up with that and knows more about it" I'd say something like "He sees it as a good investment. This is his area of expertise so while I may not fully get it, I support him and it has worked for us" Do you…
/r/RedPillWomen02/10/24 11:48 PM
2

I hope it works out.
/r/RedPillWomen02/10/24 07:56 PM
5

You're very welcome. I also have a huge extended family that is supportive. My mom was a single mom so she had to work, but she always had a good job with very flexible time, so she was able to be home with me after school and take off/work from home if needed. I grew up seeing women in my family who either were able to stay at home full time or at least have the flexibility to be home once kids were out of school, so it was always something that's important to me for the future. Have you tried …
/r/RedPillWomen02/10/24 12:48 AM
6

It does seem a bit conflicting, but my guess is that maybe while he does want to provide for you, he also wants to know that if something unfortunate were to happen to him, you would be capable of taking care of yourself and not be out here having rely on others throughout your life. He wants to know that you depending on him is something you want, not something you need in order to be okay. Since he grew up with a single full-time working mom, it sort of makes sense he wouldn't see the full ben…
/r/RedPillWomen01/10/24 11:56 PM
1

I hope it works out!
/r/RedPillWomen01/10/24 10:01 PM
3

I can't think of any guy who would honestly answer about porn/masturbation on a second date. While it is a conversation worth having, it seems a bit too soon and too forward. I'm also a "one person at a time" dater. I would cancel the other dates and see where things go with this guy since you seem the most interested and he seems to be interested as well. Continue life as you have been doing. Remain objective and observant. You have been on two or three dates and should still be in the "vetting…
/r/RedPillWomen01/10/24 04:33 AM
7

Welcome to the group! I think it's great that your ideas have started to shift in a positive way so early. I remember wanting some of these things at your age, but much of my social group looked down upon them. It took me until I was in my late 20s to start trying to embrace these things that I have wanted and stop trying to force myself to adjust to this new wave (4th wave, I think) of feminist mindset.
/r/RedPillWomen01/10/24 01:38 AM
2

I agree with the person who commented and said to put it on pause. If you notice that you have started trying to explain something or point out an error and you've had to do it two or three times in a disagreement, pause right there after the 2nd or 3rd time. It can be very hard at first, but I think it could help both you because you're cutting it off before it escalates.
/r/RedPillWomen27/09/24 02:55 AM
3

I agree completely. I myself am on dating apps, but they honestly suck for the reasons you mentioned.
/r/RedPillWomen27/09/24 02:49 AM
3

This would be helpful for me as well. Thank you!
/r/RedPillWomen27/09/24 02:46 AM
3

Tinder is not "only" for casual sex. Some people may use it for that but that was never the intended sole purpose. I haven't tried Tinder, but I'm considering it. I've heard good things about Bumble and I have tried Hinge. I have tried also tried Match, Facebook Dating, & Elite Singles. Honestly, all dating apps are cut from the same cloth. Not much better or worse than each other. It's hard to find someone not because of the particular app, but because of human behavior in general.
/r/RedPillWomen27/09/24 02:44 AM
3

You're very welcome. I wouldn't recommend posting in a BPD group simply because a lot of people in those groups tend to justify their maladaptive thinking and they will blame you for not following his narrative. I had an ex who turned out to have diagnosed NPD & ASPD, but also showed a lot of BPD traits. I had a similar issue like the one you're talking about, so I posted in there just looking for advice on how I could also be supportive. I got chewed up and blocked from the sub just for not agr…
/r/RedPillWomen26/09/24 09:40 PM
4

It sounds like he is reacting out of trauma, especially since he had a BPD single mom. The guy has been through some hard things, I'm sure. If that is the case, it is not something you can smooth because his brain has been wired to be on the defense and he has picked up some of her traits. One of the traits with cluster B personality disorders is a difficulty understanding/accepting when they're in the wrong. If you point out how pretty the BLUE sky is and they think it's RED, that's the new hil…
/r/RedPillWomen26/09/24 09:07 PM
22

I agree that less is more. Don't add anything about never having been in a relationship before or anything about that. That instant bait for those wanting to take advantage.
/r/RedPillWomen26/09/24 08:55 PM
0

Oh, no. He will still eat eggs/dairy if it's a restaurant or someone else's house. He's not going that far lol. The dumplings are the dessert I always look forward to :).
/r/RedPillWomen22/09/24 05:30 AM
1

I am not, but my aunt is a vegan who is married to a "gym bro" who loves his meat. She will cook meat for him while also doing the parallel protein others have mentioned. She does not cook with eggs/dairy or have them in the house at all. There are many alternatives you can use that still keep the good taste. She makes vegan peach dumplings every holiday (like mini peach cobblers). They're amazing and taste like the real thing. He has also come to like some of her vegan meals.
/r/RedPillWomen21/09/24 08:14 PM
4

There's not enough info here to say that he definitely fits the criteria for NPD or any other cluster B disorder. Regardless of the label, it does sound like he's very toxic and emotionally abusive. I'm very sorry you went through that.
/r/RedPillWomen21/09/24 11:06 AM
5

The silent treatment is a manipulative, abusive tactic. State what you want directly rather than playing games or beating around the bush. Good, clear, communication is key. What "major things" or areas are you talking about? Let him know. Also understand and accept that being dominated means you have a submissive role and this means accepting his leadership, so long as it is healthy and of the best interest for both of you. You may want to check out Ms .Elle X on Youtube. She has a lot of good …
/r/RedPillWomen19/09/24 12:53 AM
8

If I don't really need the help, I will politely decline. I think what you said was funny and it shows that you were trying to be lighthearted. Seems like he just misread your intent.
/r/RedPillWomen18/09/24 06:26 AM
9

I went through something similar, except in my case, I broke up with my boyfriend because he berated me about my weight several times. While I am overweight, I was the same weight as when we first got together. Long story short, he reached out to me a few weeks later and we started talking again. I really did miss him and wanted us to work out. In the time apart, I started exercising again and trying to get healthier for my own sake. His issue then became that I wasn't exercising and losing weig…
/r/RedPillWomen17/09/24 09:04 AM
2

Neither do I. Even though I know it was meant to be a compliment, I still didn't like it since that's not what I was trying to be, and I don't really think I am.
/r/RedPillWomen15/09/24 04:33 PM
0

My experience has been pretty similar to yours. I have always gotten told that I'm cute, pretty, adorable, attractive, etc. I've had one guy that I can think of tell me I was sexy. I prefer all the former descriptions over being called sexy. I don't think I give off those vibes at all. It's just not my thing. I also have a baby face and I'm on the shorter side. Just from looking at me, people think I'm younger than I really am.
/r/RedPillWomen15/09/24 03:29 PM
1

Maybe find a way to continue law work with a non-profit? I don't know anything about working in law, so that's just a guess. I work as a Behavior Analyst and I love my career. When I suddenly had to raise my niece & nephew, the company I work for was very accommodating with me having to change my hours. For the most part, I can pretty much choose my own hours and I now have the flexibility of being able to work from home more often than not. Work is left to the working hours and I'm not required…
/r/RedPillWomen15/09/24 03:10 PM
3

Yep, that's just what I have experienced as well. One of my close friends and I talk about this a lot. I tell her that it seems like many red pill men, like my ex and her husband want to live in the 1950s and present time simultaneously. You have to pick a decade. You can't have a woman who's June Cleaver and Cardi B at the same time lol.
/r/RedPillWomen13/09/24 08:52 PM
4

I agree wholeheartedly. I even tried to tell him there is a difference between being dominant and domineering. We spent hours together reading about healthy dominance and other related things. Thank you, I dodged a bullet for sure. I really loved him but for my own safety and sanity, it was for the best.
/r/RedPillWomen13/09/24 08:46 PM
15

In my last relationship, it was my submissive nature that he was most attracted to. He fancied himself to be a traditional man who believed in male-led relationships. I was in agreement, of course. While we had many things in common, it was not meant to be as he didn't understand how to implement healthy control and leadership. He was also hypocritical on a lot of key things. For example, he wanted a traditional and modest woman but also expected sex on the 3rd date. His idea of submission was m…
/r/RedPillWomen13/09/24 07:27 PM
3

I agree with this.
/r/RedPillWomen01/09/24 12:37 AM
65

Yes, there are many red flags here.
/r/RedPillWomen30/08/24 06:14 AM
3

I second looking into Dr. Ramani as well as others like Elizatbeth Shaw and Lisa Romano. I have had a series of emotionally and physically abusive relationships myself. I'm sorry you had to go through that.
/r/RedPillWomen29/08/24 04:26 AM
6

That context would have been very important to know.
/r/RedPillWomen28/08/24 10:55 PM
2

If he hasn't told his family and friends about you, that's an indicator that he's not serious. I agree with doing it after exams but before he comes to see you in person.
/r/RedPillWomen28/08/24 10:52 PM
–

A tattoo is not a "red flag" because it is not indicative of anything (unless it's a swastika or bigoted imagery, of course). There are some men who don't like tattoos or would prefer that a woman doesn't have them, but that is a matter of preference. People change their mind and think differently about things. If you truly do regret your tattoo, by all means, get it removed, but don't do it because some hypothetical man somewhere in the future may not like it.
/r/RedPillWomen28/08/24 10:43 PM
1

Here, here. This should be pinned.
/r/RedPillWomen28/08/24 04:51 AM
8

I've been in similar dynamics more than once. Honestly, it doesn't sound like he's into you. It sounds like he's playing a game and still stringing you along. He gives little affection & romance because that's what was accepted before. Generally speaking, people don't change until they really see a need to and when there is more motivation. If he's getting what he wants now, there's no reason to change. You acting cold and withdrawing affection is reinforcing this cat & mouse game. It doesn't ch…
/r/RedPillWomen28/08/24 04:09 AM
3

Have you tried talking to him about what you're feeling? Not that being snappy is okay, but if he really is prioritizing anything else over you and the most he's spoken lately is to correct you about minor things, then the problem is not only your "bitchiness". It's also his lack of engagement. What clear ways of communication have you tried?
/r/RedPillWomen28/08/24 03:57 AM
3

I don't have sex outside of marriage. There are various reasons for this (none of them religious), but this something I won't budge on. If all they want is sex, they're not worth it. My last ex would try to make me feel guilty for not having sex with him even though I shared my thoughts on the topic early on. I loved him, but I'm glad I didn't shift my values for his guilt-tripping.
/r/RedPillWomen27/08/24 03:06 AM
1

If you make money online with your body (I'm assuming OF), that would be something to likely turn a quality guy off. It could also maybe be your personality in general. I don't know you of course, but just taking a guess. I'm very introverted and also diagnosed as autistic. I don't like to go out much and I'm far from flirty or seductive. My style of dress is very casual, and I never wear makeup. Still, I've never had a problem attracting good looking guys.
/r/RedPillWomen22/08/24 12:20 AM
3

This isn't really about submission, per say. It's about not being controlling, as you mentioned. Vent about it in a journal or to your own friends but you can't tell him who to be friends with, just as he shouldn't do that to you. Unfortunately, we won't always like other people's friends.
/r/RedPillWomen20/08/24 06:43 AM
You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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