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Cool-Lavishness-1955 Archive

View 2 posts and 79 comments by Cool-Lavishness-1955 on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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Upvotes Title Category Author Subreddit Date (UTC)
102

Cool-Lavishness-1955/r/Divorce_Men04/12/25 04:00 PM
21

Cool-Lavishness-1955/r/Divorce_Men31/03/26 09:54 PM
Upvotes Comment on Subreddit Date (UTC)
6

Here’s a different vantage point: how many married men know that their wife has cheated or is cheating? I knew my wife inside and out, so I knew based on her facial expressions and her behavior something was off, so I caught her affair relatively early within a five or six week period. But there are emotionally disconnected couples and they probably have no idea what’s going on, and the man thinks that he’s happily married because the wife stopped complaining
/r/Divorce_Men26/07/26 08:16 PM
4

I’m about two years out, I would say a year or a year and a half maybe feel alive and back to my young self again. For perspective, I’m your age.
/r/Divorce_Men22/07/26 12:05 PM
4

Yep, I told my ex-wife the same exact thing. I told her that her affair partner is a con artist. And I’ve heard this over and over from friends and family: their question always has been “ what kind of man moves into another man’s home?” The answer is very obvious, not any man that has any value.
/r/Divorce_Men17/07/26 08:51 PM
5

OP, this guy seems to be a loser and is using your ex-wife for accommodation. Let her figure this out on her own and lose half her shit. Sit back and relax when this guy ditches her or cheats on her.
/r/Divorce_Men17/07/26 07:50 PM
2

11 months and I feel lucky!
/r/Divorce_Men10/07/26 10:52 PM
17

Was she cheating? If so, she probably got pumped and dumped by the affair partner, and is running right back to you.
/r/Divorce_Men16/06/26 02:43 AM
6

My ex-wife cheated, I caught her having an affair that was a little over a month old. Tried to break her out of Limerence, but she was in La La Land. Served her divorce papers at work, she went ballistic. Made the whole process very difficult. Apparently, she did not like it and lost control of the situation.
/r/Divorce_Men16/06/26 01:03 AM
2

I did. Took out a hole equity loan to pay her out.
/r/Divorce_Men12/06/26 11:47 AM
3

The “I love you, but I’m not in love with you” is a classic 100% line used by cheaters if you go on the infidelity subs. This is exactly what’s happening here. Look up the gray rock method and use it. Do not show any emotions. Act like you’re moving on. Never take this lady back, she will do it easily again, and again, and again. She has this need for validation, which you alone could never give her enough of, it’s like a black hole that’s never ending with her. She’s a broken person and needs h…
/r/Divorce_Men09/06/26 12:22 PM
6

OP, I am so sorry that you were going through this. Unfortunately, the AP in my situation is a coach, but fortunately, they kicked him out and is coaching another gender’s team. But every time I see him even have to divorce, I still get this mild rush of an anger. One piece of advice, do not, and I repeat, do not show any emotions to him or your ex-wife. They thrive on getting you upset or jealous. Interact with other parents while you’re at sports, smile even if you’re not happy. They hate it w…
/r/Divorce_Men30/05/26 02:54 PM
4

I’m sorry. My ex wife tried getting a TRO but failed.
/r/Divorce_Men29/05/26 11:23 PM
6

Basically, the woman files for divorce, but also gets a restraining order at the same time and therefore you cannot see your kids. Very common now these days.
/r/Divorce_Men29/05/26 10:16 PM
2

Freedom from unloading an emotional and financial vampire! Priceless!
/r/Divorce_Men23/05/26 04:36 PM
3

OP, my ex-wife is doing the same thing. Best thing to do, ignore it and act happy and keep your head high. She is doing this to make yourself feel better. It is an immature way.
/r/Divorce_Men21/05/26 02:52 PM
1

This.
/r/Divorce_Men17/05/26 01:32 AM
18

Unfortunately, this is the playbook by most women now who are going through divorce. They are a damsal in distress, always needed to be saved by another knight in a shining armor. Although she was a stay-at-home mom, she refused to plan out trips or even do home renovations. I had to take care of that because she was so immature, could not do any planning. Now with the divorce, everything I did was controlling. I control where we went, I controlled her spending, I controlled what she could buy. …
/r/Divorce_Men11/05/26 04:58 PM
1

This.
/r/Divorce_Men07/05/26 07:41 AM
16

I would file first and serve her at work. Don’t give up your card right now, tell her after you serve her. Try to do this in a public setting as she may throw out abuse and call the cops.
/r/Divorce_Men02/05/26 07:47 PM
2

OP, i’m really sorry this is happening. It is a dark period that is shared by many here. Losing the house, losing time with the children, and obviously the financial aspect of it is overwhelming and can be crippling. I was in your shoes a couple years ago, doing much better. Just remember, you have kids that look up to you. I still struggle with the financial aspect, but making it back slowly. What’s even more disturbing is that your ex-wife may gaslight you if you say anything about your financ…
/r/Divorce_Men02/05/26 02:24 PM
12

The mask is lifted, you are seeing who she really is and all her childhood learned behaviors
/r/Divorce_Men02/05/26 02:28 AM
2

Congrats brother! I can’t wait until my last payment is due, still have another 4 years, but one year down. I won’t know what to do with my money once I’m doing paying the ex wife, and that’s a good problem to have. Enjoy freedom!!!
/r/Divorce_Men01/05/26 06:44 PM
2

Yes, she is, but I’ve seen them in public five months ago and they were arguing/fighting. No closeness or resemblance of a couple. Personally, I think my ex-wife is still in a relationship with the AP because she does not want to look like a failure. She looks absolutely miserable and has it so much, I know her more than anyone.
/r/Divorce_Men20/04/26 07:29 PM
3

I was in my mid 40s when I got divorced because of my wife cheating, it turned out to be a blessing. The whole process is terrible and being cheated on sucks. But make sure you get cloths that fit properly, go to the gym and present yourself well, there are a lot of divorced woman out there in the world.
/r/Divorce_Men20/04/26 03:57 PM
2

Awesome, thank you very much for writing this.
/r/Divorce_Men02/04/26 02:28 AM
1

Yes, she is able to pay. In fact, I probably have more expenses than her because I’m paying child support and alimony. She’s not paying anything to her ex-husband.
/r/Divorce_Men02/04/26 02:27 AM
1

2 year age difference and we are both in our late 40's.
/r/Divorce_Men01/04/26 12:42 PM
1

I was hoping she would change! Sex is good, but there are hotter women out there!
/r/Divorce_Men01/04/26 12:42 PM
1

The times she has offered is when the meal is super cheap! Not very often.
/r/Divorce_Men01/04/26 12:41 PM
3

I wanted to get other mens viewpoints on this before addressing it. Based on the comments, I plan on saying something.
/r/Divorce_Men01/04/26 12:40 PM
1

I agree, they think that sex is payment or return of payment.
/r/Divorce_Men01/04/26 12:39 PM
1

Exactly, I literally could get so many women. I’m not showing off when I say that. I’m a good looking guy with an excellent profession. Not very hard at all.
/r/Divorce_Men31/03/26 11:31 PM
1

I agree, looking into cheating won’t change the outcome, but it would give him closure about why this “sudden“ change. It’s also to protect him if she ever decides to crawl back to him.
/r/Divorce_Men13/03/26 11:35 AM
14

As many have said here, she’s making an exit plan and using you for financial purposes now. Please look into phone records to see if there’s been any excessive texting or calls, she may have a guy on the side already and is planning to be with him in fantasyland. Protect yourself and do not do anything that would be make her get a restraining order.
/r/Divorce_Men13/03/26 01:24 AM
5

Agree, she belongs to the streets now.
/r/Divorce_Men10/03/26 11:44 AM
2

OP, I totally understand where you are coming from. My divorce was a year and a half ago, and so much better on the other side with time. But just even today, I still grieve the financial loss that came with it. But the way I look at it, money comes and goes and you could rebuild it over time.
/r/Divorce_Men11/02/26 04:26 PM
5

You have no kids right now, this is the time to jump ship and swim as fast as possible m. You will never trust this lady. And if you have a child, things only get worse with stress. Her chance of cheating dramatically goes up then.
/r/Divorce_Men27/01/26 12:01 PM
3

This.
/r/Divorce_Men19/12/25 08:48 PM
3

100% accurate
/r/Divorce_Men18/12/25 06:10 PM
1

This is the way! Power through. It’s rough in the beginning, but it definitely gets better.
/r/Divorce_Men10/12/25 01:08 AM
5

I was like you for a period of time, but after two years, I realized an apology will never come. Nor do I need one because I’m doing much better. Just looking at my ex-wife, she looks absolutely horrible and miserable. Not surprised given that she blew up a great marriage and lifestyle to be with an absolute trash bag. These women or even cheating men, have too much pride to own up that they made a mistake. They’ll stay in the relationship with their affair partner because of sunk cost fallacy. …
/r/Divorce_Men09/12/25 12:59 AM
2

This is spot on. Once the alimony stops, the real life begins.
/r/Divorce_Men09/12/25 12:54 AM
5

So true, I feel like I am myself again. Young, vibrant and fun. It’s great to experience this later in life again!
/r/Divorce_Men05/12/25 12:01 AM
9

I can tell you what confidence, she’s not in my head. Unfortunately, because we share kids, she’s making things a lot more complicated and using the kids as pawns. She’s a very toxic person.
/r/Divorce_Men04/12/25 11:54 PM
8

100% agree. I’m seeing it more and more now.
/r/Divorce_Men04/12/25 10:10 PM
8

Awesome! Very proud of you! It’s amazing how it feels to dump a financial and emotional vampire!
/r/Divorce_Men04/12/25 08:56 PM
5

Our kid was very sick, and she needed to see the doctor. We both live far away from the office, like 45 minutes away, and told her I will be meeting her there to be present when she gets checked out because I was at my girlfriends house a few minutes away.
/r/Divorce_Men04/12/25 06:50 PM
6

Our Family Wizard, court appointed communication app.
/r/Divorce_Men04/12/25 06:40 PM
16

Gray rocking has been my specialty for the last year!
/r/Divorce_Men04/12/25 04:47 PM
13

Yes, we share custody and she is blocked on everything. We use OFW to communicate and I set strict boundaries on her to communicate only about kid related coordination.
/r/Divorce_Men04/12/25 04:08 PM
12

Excellent summary and right on point.
/r/Divorce_Men30/11/25 03:35 AM
17

Your ex-wife was wearing a mask, this is who she really is now.
/r/Divorce_Men14/11/25 08:20 PM
4

I very much agree with this.
/r/Divorce_Men10/11/25 06:42 PM
20

As a man who is the breadwinner, it’s a dangerous world out there. Women will use you until they don’t need you. Never again for me. The lack of responsibility these days in unbelievable.
/r/Divorce_Men02/11/25 02:05 PM
7

OP, your situation matches mine in many ways. She had literally everything a woman would want in a man, and I am a high wage earner too. She would never be grateful for anything, almost like she thought that money grew on trees. She thought she was getting get some massive pay out at the end of divorce, and she can ride off in the sunset with her trash bag. Well, she now knows life is very expensive, managing a house is not easy and cost a lot of money and now she needs to work full-time per agr…
/r/Divorce_Men31/10/25 05:04 PM
15

I was in your shoes two years ago. Let me tell you, it was the best worst thing that has happened to me. My life is so much better without her. I was basically doing everything a married man/father should be doing: working full time, taking care of the kids, the house/bills, planning, vacation, etc. Her only chore was literally to make some food, which she was terrible at. I feel 10 years younger, not having an emotional and financial vampire with me anymore. Never look back if they cheat. They’…
/r/Divorce_Men31/10/25 11:41 AM
2

More likely a widely metastatic cancer
/r/Divorce_Men22/10/25 12:52 PM
17

Your comment about rapidly aging is spot on. My ex-wife in the last two years looks like she’s aged five years and looks absolutely awful. She’s never had to pay a bill in her life until divorce last year and she’s managing a house that she’s never had to manage. On top of that, she has to work full-time, which she never had to do. And being a single parent without really being able to mess around and party. Too bad she didn’t think about any of this before she cheated.
/r/Divorce_Men21/10/25 10:52 AM
3

Being an adult is hard lol
/r/Divorce_Men01/10/25 03:14 PM
3

Congratulations! I can’t wait for mine to be over in a few years, it will be totally liberating. Go take that trip or buy a Porsche you’ve always wanted.!
/r/Divorce_Men01/10/25 02:19 PM
14

Just remember, her strength and beauty will be a fading star very soon. Focus on yourself and cut her off as much as possible from your life. You’ll see who she really is when you do that. In the dating world, if you’re a male in your 40s, you are at a big advantage. Tables have turned in terms of dating, women chase you compared to when we were in our 20s.
/r/Divorce_Men17/09/25 02:02 AM
2

This story is similar to mine and I suspect, many other men too. My ex-wife had everything that every man or woman would want, and throughout our marriage, she was never grateful. Very immature, with no accountability. Social media definitely a catalyst for all this nonsense, leading many women to compare themselves and have no accountability. As you pointed out, there is definitely no need to get married again unless you want more children. No benefit whatsoever for men post-divorce and if you …
/r/Divorce_Men12/09/25 05:38 PM
2

💯
/r/Divorce_Men10/09/25 10:14 PM
8

There is absolutely no reason to get married again, unless there is an absolute need to share housing costs. But even that should be the only absolute last resort.
/r/Divorce_Men10/09/25 04:57 PM
7

She is a boss babe, until she isn't. Bills need to be paid and once the guy is done with her, she will be scraping for another one and be used like a rag dog.
/r/Divorce_Men04/09/25 02:06 PM
15

I agree, this smells like she’s having an affair with someone at the gym. Look at the phone records to see any suspicious activity.
/r/Divorce_Men04/09/25 10:50 AM
8

OP, she stands to lose more than you with the divorce. You have some power and advantage here.
/r/Divorce_Men29/08/25 04:18 PM
8

Brother, I know exactly how you feel. I was recently at a sporting event which was on my weekend and a couple of hours away, and my ex-wife and her dirtbag showed up. They were pretending there this very happy couple, obviously putting on a show, taking pictures in front of a flag, etc. It was so pathetic to witness, it was clearly a show for everyone to see. While at the event, they were literally not talking to anyone. Her new guy continued to stare at me while I stood confidently and was talk…
/r/Divorce_Men26/08/25 06:45 PM
20

Not only have I read countless stories, but I’ve seen several of them. They’re all the same, the woman decides to leave and needs her space. Most of the time, that is because another man is showing interest or she’s in another relationship with another man. Try looking into it as soon as possible.
/r/Divorce_Men29/06/25 03:08 PM
1

Using a coparenting app is the best way moving forward, cuts a lot of nonsense and that should come through your lawyers. Block her immediately after agreeing to use the app. It’s a game changer.
/r/Divorce_Men27/06/25 11:03 AM
4

BINGO!
/r/Divorce_Men21/06/25 11:13 AM
2

Unfortunately, my ex-wife said we were a team. But I contributed 98% of the income also contribute to many other things. After the divorce was done, it was very evident on who gave up things (hint: it was me!)
/r/Divorce_Men10/03/25 11:50 AM
4

Agree. Most of the time, marriage is a slippery slope for me. So much to lose. Even now when I’m dating, one of the first things I tell women is that I’m never interested in marrying again. Set the expectation right away.
/r/Divorce_Men10/03/25 11:49 AM
4

Something similar happened to me. You need to make sure that in the agreement, she needs to refinance within a certain period of time or she has to sell the house if she cannot transfer the mortgage.
/r/Divorce_Men06/03/25 01:28 PM
1

I think you meant 1000000000% cheating
/r/Divorce_Men14/02/25 04:02 AM
3

The AP was "always there to help" and of course, provided the needed marriage counseling on how to handle the husband who is upset with the affair. They would "talk" in the parking lot, but in reality, it was a meeting place to have sex some days. Mind you, prior to her affair, there was a very active bedroom.
/r/Divorce_Men13/02/25 03:26 PM
11

Sorry to hear about what happened. Your story sounds very similar to mine, I was 46 and my wife was 39 when I caught her having an affair with the kids soccer coach. Her affair was very short lived, no longer than five or six weeks by that time I caught her. so naturally, I tried to forgive her, but at the same time, I started looking at my options for divorce, and also probing into the depths of her lies and deception to see if she was telling the truth. As you hear many times, she continued to…
/r/Divorce_Men13/02/25 12:38 PM
3

Get her served at work, that would teach her a good lesson! That’s what I did, I never looked back!
/r/Divorce_Men13/02/25 03:25 AM
1

Honestly, it’s the best feeling. Especially if you were married to an emotional or financial vampire. No more wife yelling at me for going out to run an errand for one hour. Priceless.
/r/Divorce_Men10/02/25 12:42 PM
2

Definitely ignore and move on.
/r/Divorce_Men04/02/25 11:38 AM
You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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