TheRedArchive

~ archived since 2018 ~

CradleCity Archive

View 6 posts and 718 comments by CradleCity on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
Search in:
In subreddits:
More
Filter by year/month:
Upvotes Comment on Subreddit Date (UTC)
2

An obsessive and dangerous former lover who stalks the person who spurned them. An excessively obsessive girlfriend (or less commonly, boyfriend), especially one who reacts in an extreme way to the ending of a relationship. In other words, the unhinged obsessive ones.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/07/24 11:35 PM
2

Of course they don't, because they're boomers (mind you, there are plenty of boomer men here who are still respectful, because that generation (at least some men and some notable women) kickstarted some of the progress that got my country out of a dictatorship and women out of the kitchen. Again, that doesn't negate the fact that perpetrators of both genders don't tend to be aware of the abuse they cause unless they take a long hard look at themselves. But my country has criminalized catcalling …
/r/PurplePillDebate18/07/24 05:35 PM
1

They're aware of abuse when they're victims, but not when they're perpetrators, same as (many) men. Or do you think women groping men's butts or pressuring him into sex doesn't happen, or the fact that they tend to rationalize their misdeeds as 'men are always eager for sex, therefore he wanted it'?
/r/PurplePillDebate18/07/24 05:16 PM
1

There are women that fall more conservative and enjoy those antiquated gender roles There are also feminist (or at least, self-proclaimed feminist) women who haven't questioned the internalized gender roles they grew up, and replicate the same behaviour as conservative women when facing a man being truly vulnerable. Or simply haven't been taught how to deal with male emotions (much like some men haven't been taught on how to deal with women's emotions). Or quite simply, don't care or even revel …
/r/PurplePillDebate18/07/24 03:23 PM
1

So are cafes. In my country, there are always a few people in every cafe (especially retired folks) with an esplanade. But I'm not American, maybe coffee shops or bars are more secluded places over there.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/07/24 04:15 PM
1

I agree with you as an European, but I do wonder if some cultural norms in the US are being imported or influencing people in these directions. Especially in the middle to upper-middle class. Anyway, it's still a good way to filter if the person that is invited gets pissy that the inviter determines the accessible place of his choice, just because it's not a fancy dinner. Some people in the US really need to be more humble and less overly-demanding/selfish/greedy.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/07/24 04:09 PM
2

That means the vast majority of women will get a joke about Cristiano Ronaldo This is true. about the rigidity of the Dutch coach or whatever. This only works with women who are truly into footy. YMMV and all that. A joke about how much of a weirdo this year's winner is has a 50 to 70% chance of getting the women to laugh or at least blush. Laugh sure (unless she's very progressive, considering the winner is non-binary). But why the hell would an Eurovision joke make her blush? Women aren't that…
/r/PurplePillDebate16/07/24 03:38 PM
–

They would probably perceive us the same way we perceive human sacrifice at some stone temple in bygone centuries.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/07/24 12:40 AM
–

Not anymore than reading old fairy tales. As C.S. Lewis put it: Critics who treat adult as a term of approval, instead of as a merely descriptive term, cannot be adult themselves. To be concerned about being grown up, to admire the grown up because it is grown up, to blush at the suspicion of being childish; these things are the marks of childhood and adolescence. And in childhood and adolescence they are, in moderation, healthy symptoms. Young things ought to want to grow. But to carry on into …
/r/PurplePillDebate02/07/24 11:21 PM
3

There will always be people who drink, smoke or use drugs (or all three, if you have the money for it). There will always be people who don't. Whatever makes people feel comfortable. Don't pressure them to drink/smoke/snort, or to not do those things. Why, with any small mention of cheating, people tell you you deserve to suffer horrendous things? I don't know about horrendous things, but cheating is a bad mark. Cheaters and their apologists should only hang out with each other, and stop hurting…
/r/PurplePillDebate26/06/24 09:35 PM
3

Women are far and away the largest consumers of romantic novels, romantic comedies. Romantic novels and comedies are to actual love and relationships what porn is to sex. As reliable as watching Fast & The Furious and thinking you can ace the driver's license test.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/06/24 09:51 PM
3

Men who like to chat are not effeminate. Conversation is a human thing, not a gender thing. Are American (or any other pretentiously masculine) men so insecure they only communicate in grunts?
/r/PurplePillDebate20/06/24 02:34 PM
1

Who said about giving up? And there are much better ways of developing new visions (plural, not singular) of masculinity. They require work on the ground, and obtaining work/life balance, either individually or collectively (ideally, both). Pursuing a cause worth fighting for and all that jazz, within what is realistic, with like-minded people. Not romance novels written centuries ago that don't have universal values, or moral/ethical truths that can transcend time and space. They're pleasant re…
/r/PurplePillDebate14/06/24 04:05 PM
2

Classic romance novels have an explanatory power that is relevant to understanding the time they were made in, the society from the past. Modern times have changed, and with it, so have material conditions. Most men cannot be moulded into Mr. Darcy archetypes, because they require being born into wealth. Capitalism does not allow people to fully change themselves, there are material limitations and obstacles that prevent it. Some of those celebrated classic, class-infused romance novels that don…
/r/PurplePillDebate14/06/24 03:51 PM
3

Jane Austen never married and never had any serious relationships, and yeah lived 200 years ago. It's funny to see people recommending novels by a woman without relationship experience, but dismissing everything that men without the same experience say (through novels or otherwise). It's an interesting double standard.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/06/24 03:20 PM
1

I think a lot of men would be well served by some broad examination of this kind of literature or media, particularly the more classical end. I read and listened to examinations like these, as well as talking about it with like-minded peers at university. It made me realize that most novels have nothing of value to provide beyond wish fulfillment and being examples of cultural attitudes in a given time setting, with specific material characteristics that are not the case today. Don't get me wron…
/r/PurplePillDebate14/06/24 03:17 PM
4

Just be rich and hot, it's that easy! Sarcasm aside, romance novels are fantasy, not reality. Emotional porn does not understand material realities of people at large. Don't believe those products.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/06/24 02:38 PM
4

Yes he's a Duke and extremely wealthy That helps. A lot. Status and power are catnip in these romance novels. It's all very bourgeois.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/06/24 01:41 PM
2

Jane Austen's works aren't a guide for the modern times. They are useful in understanding men and women's relations in 19th century Britain, mediated through marriage and property values associated with the men (the materialism is strong in her works and a primary factor in her characters' relationships; no matter how much Mr. Darcy's personality and gait are appealing, it's the property that matters, due to the needs of security that women had back then), but times are different. Second, romanc…
/r/PurplePillDebate14/06/24 01:29 PM
10

Some men get attracted at a slow pace, and/or only after a friendship is established. They also don't get attracted to the majority of women, for that matter. It doesn't mean that they're being manipulative or have ulterior motives, it's that they're in a place where they feel emotionally really connected with her, and they can let down their guards. In this process, feelings begin to grow. If she refuses or declines, he has to accept it and be respectful of her choice, but at the same time, she…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/06/24 11:36 PM
1

The baseline comes after the friendship was already established and thriving, in the cases I'm thinking of. And the feelings aren't strictly/purely sexual, it's Romantic feelings, first and foremost, and they develop subconsciously and/or through consistent social interaction during the course of the friendship, not prior to the friendship being established. Yes, these things happen, believe it or not. People (of both genders) have this erroneous assumption that all men are always thinking about…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/06/24 08:02 PM
1

It makes no sense to suddenly decide that someone is sexually attractive to you unless you were already attracted to those things. Based on that logic, men are knowingly entering platonic relationships with women they are sexually attracted to. This then makes women question if you only entered a friendship because you thought they were attractive rather than because they’re an interesting person. What about men who only developed feelings much later on, after the friendship was already establis…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/06/24 03:49 PM
1

What do they need to do and how, in order to prove they're worthy? (And I ask this as someone that will not enter into a relationship, my window closed years ago)
/r/PurplePillDebate07/06/24 12:01 AM
0

I don't intend to change routine constantly, anyways. Times will change, and we'll age anyway. Might as well roll with the punches, from a certain point onwards.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/06/24 01:03 PM
-2

Then it's time to accept pores and the occasional unevenness. Perfection is unattainable (and trying to pursue facial perfection at all costs leads to mental health problems and potential botched plastic surgery down the line, for both men and women). Anyway, it's preferable to go for the good enough.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/06/24 01:02 PM
-4

has spots and pores and dark circles Isn't that more a skin care / facial hygiene thing? As someone that uses a specific cream for dry/flake-y skin, I'd say that it's perfectly fine to use skin care stuff, because it really doesn't get in the way of natural beauty (the way it is subjectively appreciated). Just my 2 cents. Edit: Seriously, people are downvoting for this, out of all kinds of comments in this wretched place?!
/r/PurplePillDebate05/06/24 11:34 AM
0

No, it's not deceptive. But beauty is in the eye of the beholder. There are some women that do require skillful use of make-up to stand out. But there are also cases where, if I compare her natural look with her make-up one, I tend to find her natural look more pleasant. So, really, it's a case by case basis. Personally, I tend to dislike lipstick (red, black, any stand-out colour) and painted nails in general, as well as the shadow/panda-like area around the eyes, for example. Eyebrow correctio…
/r/PurplePillDebate05/06/24 11:28 AM
1

teenaged boys who spend years beating their dick to increasingly depraved porn NABALT, plain and simple. Especially if they had decent sex ed. and maintained regular friendships with girls their age. I haven’t seen anyone describe men being “forceful” towards a woman. Except you. I've read testimonies of young women having bad experiences with young men who couldn't separate fantasy from reality and forcing them to do nasty/degrading stuff. How come you haven't seen them? It's why I separate the…
/r/PurplePillDebate03/06/24 05:41 PM
1

I didn’t say that. Well: I assumed teenaged boys and men had already hardened themselves on increasingly depraved porn and literally had the most depraved ideas of sex. but it never would have occurred to me to be gentle with a man. Don't you see the connection here in your two statements? You assumed teenage boys and men couldn't be sensitive or guarded because they consumed porn to the point that they had lost emotional or physical sensitivity. It would be one thing if we were talking about po…
/r/PurplePillDebate03/06/24 03:44 PM
2

I'm not sure why you're bringing up religion, when I was addressing your assumption about teenage boys and men in general, not your personal experience. Plenty of non-religious folk also consume porn, to boot. Again, you stated that teenage boys and men could never be sensitive or guarded about their physical or emotional expression, based on an assumption/prejudice that they got brainrot or addicted from porn. It’s high time that certain outspoken members of PPD realize their cultural, religiou…
/r/PurplePillDebate03/06/24 03:20 PM
2

It gets to a point where if he was that determined, he would have saved up to visit a sex worker in a place where the practice is regulated. Some men want to lose with someone special, not a sex worker (no shade on sex workers, but incompatible priorities and all that).
/r/PurplePillDebate03/06/24 03:08 PM
2

I assumed teenaged boys and men had already hardened themselves on increasingly depraved porn and literally had the most depraved ideas of sex. Maybe it's time to question your assumption, in light of this conversation, then? :p
/r/PurplePillDebate03/06/24 02:42 PM
–

Youtube videos about gender relations tend to be heavily crafted for whichever narrative is appealing to people, same as T'kTok. It's best to take them with a grain of salt, or to ignore them altogether. Many men do not have revenge on their minds, don't let the warped behaviours of some online (especially in this subreddit, and in the YT comments' sections) affect your whole perception of things. Warm approaching, introduction by a mutual friend, and other social circle derived moves are still …
/r/PurplePillDebate30/05/24 04:00 AM
–

men view not approaching us as an act of revenge. Men are not a monolith, there are lots of reasons men don't approach these days. And in any case, cold approach has been largely killed, which is a good thing, no?
/r/PurplePillDebate30/05/24 03:50 AM
6

The women I've felt genuinely attracted to were older and more experienced. We're fine, OP. Now, if only more women were forgiving/accepting of virgin guys... That being said, it's fine for virgin people to to have their first time with other virgin people, should the coincidence happen. What matters is that there is genuine attraction between the two.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/05/24 08:00 PM
–

You're not a late bloomer. Losing virginity at 18 is very common (especially for folks who go to university/college in another city).
/r/PurplePillDebate29/05/24 07:42 PM
–

If that is the case, OP probably needs to go to therapy to sort it out.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/05/24 07:12 PM
–

Yes, it's ok to not date someone. But if they are going to give reasons for why they don't want to date categories of people, they are not exempt from questioning or being called out. And OP, again, does not seem to be engaging in good faith. I think she's a shit stirrer.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/05/24 04:18 PM
0

Tentacle dildos Never seen one, reality is probably disappointing. It's just a gang bang Gang bang is about multiple people/characters. Isn't a lot of tentacle pr0n (and erotic audios, made by both genders) about a single monster with lots of appendages (some of which don't even resemble a dick)? There may be overlap (when there are monsters in plural), but the venn diagram for these two things is not a circle. Anyway, most men can separate fiction from fantasy, no problem, as long as there's so…
/r/PurplePillDebate29/05/24 04:14 PM
–

She's not merely warning other women, but conflating a lot of stereotypes and prejudices (many late bloomers aren't in STEM, and don't have autism, and have healthy relationships with their parents), tho. She's not posting in good faith, much like some of the guys here. And she indirectly insults late bloomer and/or autistic women, to boot. There are better subreddits for warning other women than this place, as well.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/05/24 03:23 PM
–

There are many people that think like OP, tho. It's just that they don't say it out in the open. Prejudice against virgins/late bloomers is common (often covert), and comes from both genders.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/05/24 03:16 PM
–

Extended family connections and/or strong friendships are the perfect antidote for the first three. The 4th one is for people who are showing their homophobia, and the latter is probably a US/Anglosphere paranoia thing. And in any case, if someone judges openly, tell them to shove it where the sun don't shine. We have to rise above it all, or we'll drown in society's petty shit.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/05/24 03:13 PM
–

The only thing nerds can do is be willing beta bux slaves that accept being treated like shit or kill themselves. Or refusing to engage with or entertain those particular women, and live life with contentment. There are ways to be free, you know?
/r/PurplePillDebate29/05/24 03:05 PM
–

And it's also bait, so, clearly OP wants to make some men mad. She must be a very charming person...
/r/PurplePillDebate29/05/24 02:25 PM
0

.is that men actually want their fantasies to be real and seek to make them real. Explain tentacle pr0n, then.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/05/24 02:09 PM
6

Every woman you know under 35 has used a dating app Not in my country. That is probably a US thing.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/05/24 06:48 PM
3

My boss walks in with so much as a new hat and all the ladies are oohing and ahhing over him. Because he's their boss, and they're trying to get a promotion and sucking up to him. That is not an equal/genuine dynamic, for it is a dynamic that will carry lots of sycophancy.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/05/24 03:39 PM
2

There's a reason Yaoi novels depict super feminine and emotional men, because that's what lots of women like. That's what they like to see themselves in, in a sort of fantasy (since most yaoi leans heavily in uke/seme dynamics), where they would be the feminine man being taken care of by the more masculine partner. Nothing wrong with that, but feminine men are more of a niche thing, not for general appeal. And even then, in real life, many women can't stand feminine men. Even George Sand got fed…
/r/PurplePillDebate27/05/24 03:04 PM
1

its often hard to hear in the mix Funk and reggae bass players can be heard in the distance, laughing.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/05/24 01:21 PM
1

(rolls eyes) There are many guys who are competent at their jobs, or competent at various types of hobbies. They are still not hot, or sexy, and can't attract any woman. Competence is not enough, one has to either be stellar, or have strong social skills. Or, of course, be handsome/hot by looks alone.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/05/24 01:19 PM
2

Why don't you want males, then? There has to be some reason.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/05/24 12:51 PM
2

On the data, it doesn't have an effect. But it casts a light on your motivations. Since you're a man (presumably), do you have internalized misandry or a similar disgust towards other men?
/r/PurplePillDebate26/05/24 01:45 PM
–

Neither, I've said "Goodbye to Love" already.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/05/24 03:29 PM
5

Like the other big brouhaha topic that is/was all the rage, it is an ambiguous question, which makes people of both genders depict radically different scenarios, considering they fill in the blanks with their knowledge of nature and of humans, before answering. It's probably best not to entertain, and detach yourself from whatever people say or answer. Or, alternatively, whatever people say, just say "understandable", and change the topic. There's no point in arguing ambiguous hypotheticals, no …
/r/PurplePillDebate24/05/24 03:17 PM
–

looks like Jesus Considering most western representations of J.C. portray him as having exquisite, well-kept beard, that is not an argument, people's comparisons are influenced by said representations/portraits. Or the single experience of your best friend, for that matter. Gandalf style hair is long hair, we're talking strictly beards, not hairstyles, here.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/05/24 03:05 PM
5

I almost envy their culture and the men who demonstrate morality. nation of Islam Islam is not a nation, and Islam is not a monolith. And yet you want to romanticize all cultural aspects of Islam, when you likely don't interact with them closely?
/r/PurplePillDebate24/05/24 03:02 PM
–

All kinds of which are celebrated Unkempt/scraggly beards are not celebrated in any shape, way or form, c'mon...
/r/PurplePillDebate24/05/24 01:30 PM
5

I don't know any millennial who calls people on the phone. The last time I went out on dates with a woman was generally by calling (I did the calling). Also, maybe it's because I do a lot of answering phones at the office, but I'm comfortable with it, nowadays. Maybe gradual exposure might be needed for some gen Z (who, like myself in the past, had the occasional anxiety or trepidation before/during calling, and had to go through the same exposure process). It doesn't even have to be long phone …
/r/PurplePillDebate21/05/24 11:31 PM
1

Ok, I can see where you're coming from, then. Liberals do tend to say a lot, but do little or not enough, and when push comes to shove, they'll quickly walk back to the center, and are not quite capable of addressing the elephant in the room of social alienation and economic exploitation. But friendships with your working brothers are important. Make sure you don't neglect them.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/05/24 12:30 AM
3

Why do you liberals Unless you're very left-wing (if that is the case, I can see where you're coming from), I think you're telling on yourself a bit, assuming you're from the US. What they're saying is about not putting your 'emotional eggs' in a single basket. Be a social animal, to your heart's content. But... don't be a social animal attached to one person only. It's too much weight, for either side.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/05/24 12:21 AM
–

Which movie would you rather watch: Grizzly Man or The Care Bears Movie?
/r/PurplePillDebate03/05/24 11:26 PM
1

that sexless romantic relationships are fulfilling for sexual people Never made any such claim. Here's how I see it: You (apparently): The venn diagram between romance and sex is a circle. Me (and average folk): The venn diagram shows overlap to a greater extent or lesser extent (lesser being for, say, demisexual folk), but there are areas which don't overlap. Asexuals: The circles are separated, and only one of the circles matter. People feel and express romance or romantic in various different…
/r/PurplePillDebate02/05/24 06:31 PM
1

For asexual couples, it seems to be that way, yes. Happy, compatible people don't talk much about their relationships.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/05/24 04:59 PM
1

Yeah, I'm gonna have to raise an eyebrow on that. Sounds like you're projecting your definition onto others, when it's about so much more than sex.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/05/24 04:40 PM
2

Romance is about sex, not feelings Explain asexuals in romantic relationships, then.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/05/24 03:46 PM
2

No cars, no tractors, no wheels (yes, the wheel is a technological invention)? No modern medicine, no modern tools for building or repairing? Prove it.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/05/24 09:01 AM
1

The one woman I dated/had meet-ups with, years ago, was indeed smarter (and a few years older), and helped me to pass an university class I was having trouble with. In fact, I invited her by saying that, if I passed the exam (and I did), would she go out with me? She said yes, which gave me a a lil' extra boost of motivation. So, yeah, I am comfortable. I was still aimless at the time, fresh out of uni, so, nothing came of it (she was beginning to establish her career, and, in hindsight, I proba…
/r/PurplePillDebate30/04/24 01:25 PM
3

Cheating is terrible and a dark mark on someone's personality and life, regardless of gender, looks, value, age, and so forth.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/04/24 01:18 PM
4

I wouldn't say it's a fake problem. It certainly wasn't invented, since there are some women who also have a "patriarchal police agent" inside them, judging men for behaviours that defy some gender norms. But I can see how red pillers jumped on it for a chance to talk shit.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/04/24 01:07 PM
1

Both movements honestly just seem like immature dream scenarios where the person in question gets material possessions out of their partner in exchange for love and good looks/sex. Their names sound a bit silly or childish, to boot.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/04/24 02:51 PM
2

I hope you are aware enough that it's a select bunch of white men, and that most white men are just as exploited by said powerful men.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/04/24 02:42 PM
3

Stoicism is a parasite which we should have abandoned long ago so that we wouldn't have men beating their wives to a pulp bcz of pent up anger from daily issues. I'm not a fan of stoicism, but that is not what stoicism is truly about (tho I understand a lot of men misunderstand stoicism, in part because of modern day grifters who have corrupted its concept). Men who call themselves stoic, but beat up their wives, are like Christians who exploit poor people en masse or treat them with contempt, a…
/r/PurplePillDebate29/04/24 12:56 PM
2

A nurse should earn much more than a construction worker. What happens if construction workers will leave their area of work, which will lead to even less housing being built, which has even worse consequences down the line, for society overall? In your comment above, I thought you were talking about equity of wages in society across the board, now you're inverting the hierarchy of sectors in terms of wage criteria, which would create a new imbalance? I think you're contradicting yourself a litt…
/r/PurplePillDebate29/04/24 12:51 PM
4

Your personal experience is great, but one can read thousands of testimonies of guys who weren't able to be vulnerable with the girlfriends or wives because they got visibly turned off or outright disgusted. It's not the biggest problem, but it's still a noticeable one.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/04/24 12:41 PM
–

Now, gender-flip your comment and see if women would feel ok with it. As if people wished to be someone else's short-term plaything. C'mon, who are you fooling?
/r/PurplePillDebate29/04/24 12:27 PM
1

Fair. As it all seems very subjective, I'd prefer to just ask (it's what I did when I had my one-time dates/meet-ups experience) her out (or, in an ideal, utopian world, her asking me out), and let chips fall wherever they may. I fully agree with stopping to look for signs, it's not worth the mental effort.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/04/24 06:32 PM
3

being touchy, friendly, smilies a lot, etc - here’s the thing, that’s how women act with each other. This is her treating you like a friend. I internalized a long time ago that signals no longer mean anything to me, and I refuse to think about if women are flirting with me or not, or to register non-verbal signals (and sometimes even verbal communication isn't clear enough). That being said, what crosses the line from being touchy in a platonic sense to being touchy in a romantic sense? In what …
/r/PurplePillDebate24/04/24 05:29 PM
–

Since you pointed out that young women aren't struggling with dating or social skills, perhaps it's time for them to make the first verbal move, rather than putting all the onus on the young men.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/04/24 01:24 PM
1

Can't pay? Don't invite people There are plenty of dates where one doesn't have to pay much, or at all. This is not about feminism, gender, or modern culture - this is about common sense and politeness You can't extricate none of these, they're all present and/or interlinked in modern culture, in some way or another, and influence the way people date.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/03/24 05:59 PM
6

I think it’s for the best that men bear the burden of approaching The burden doesn't have to be put squarely on men's shoulders. If Mohamed doesn't go to the mountain, then the mountain must come to him. Younger generations will have to be incentivized to approach equally, imho. Top guys will get more attention in the short term, true, but they don't exist in great numbers. In the long run, there will be an established social dynamic which will be beneficial to most in a win-win way, in my view.…
/r/PurplePillDebate28/02/24 08:25 PM
16

If men are to enjoy celibacy, then women will have to be more accepting of virgins. No virgin shaming, no bullshit excuses. Also, if men become comfortable with it (I myself am), then not all will be willing to jump through hoops. Time for women to be pro-active (including verbal approaches) in dating, in these changing times.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/02/24 07:01 PM
1

Then they'll have to try harder. A sideways glance and a hair flip doesn't mean anything, in this day and age. If they can speak, time for them to speak and tell what they want.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/02/24 02:10 AM
1

Most men are not omni-shaggers. Some do, but they're ultimately a loud minority, and usually fuck up their lives, in the end. Why are you stereotyping men as a whole on that, you being a man yourself?
/r/PurplePillDebate28/02/24 02:02 AM
1

Yeah, some guys are dickheads and might already be hardcore alcoholics themselves. Or might be trying to peer pressure you and others, in the most toxic of ways. Be true to yourself. If you want to drink alcohol (preferably within a level of your self-determined moderation), it's ok. If you don't want to drink it, it's also ok. You're good! Be responsible, and you'll be miles ahead of many men. Edit: Since it seems you're doing the tee-total way, keep doing it, don't give in to shitty peer press…
/r/PurplePillDebate28/02/24 01:32 AM
5

many saw a post Take most (if not all) social media posts of this sort with a grain of salt. Aside from that, some women are celebrating they're happy being single. It's no big deal, let them be.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/02/24 01:19 AM
–

Political ideology is not an important factor into most romances. Sure, a fascist won't date a communist (and vice-versa), but there are liberal women dating or outright marrying conservative men because of certain traits said men have that appeal to them. And if adopting the most appealing ideology worked for dating, then so-called male feminists (and I'm talking about actual male feminists, within the liberal spectrum of US ideology - I'm not American, for the record) would be slaying left and…
/r/PurplePillDebate27/02/24 11:54 PM
–

are definitely forced to remain passive due to social pressure. I don't think they're forced. In fact, if done well, they can thrive by not having to ask a man out on a date, and benefit from such arrangements, by putting the onus of asking out and making the first move solely on men. When social pressure was used to keep women in unhappy marriages, weren't there women (feminists or otherwise) who refused to go with the flow and fought for what they wanted? They were precluded from having total …
/r/PurplePillDebate27/02/24 11:24 PM
–

it's modern communication. There are other ways to communicate, you know that? What do you say to teenagers who know all about social media, but can't make a phone call to save their lives and actually talk to people, because of some anxiety? Who's failing to communicate, then? Also, social media is not a zero-sum game. You don't have to be in all platforms, all the socials, and become consumed by the need to always curate your image (unless your job is actually related to social media, of cours…
/r/PurplePillDebate27/02/24 11:05 PM
2

You're never going to have control or influence over a woman's past so it's silly to focus so much on that. If that's how you are, you're not ready for something real with a woman, everyone has a past, but what matters is the here and now, You're not wrong, but people have the right to a preference. Some men prefer women who haven't had lots of sex with different people. Likewise, some women don't want men who've had lots of sex (or lots of relationships). Some men don't care, some women don't c…
/r/PurplePillDebate27/02/24 10:50 PM
22

naturally dislikes people who can't get laid? Yes. Otherwise, virgin shaming wouldn't be a thing. Virgin men and (from the 30's onwards) virgin women are shamed for not getting laid or not getting a relationship.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/02/24 03:06 AM
3

what it would feel like if your best male friend of many years said "Okay look, I'm in love with you. And if you don't reciprocate, I'm leaving forever." "I feel nothing romantic towards you, sorry. But I understand how you feel. You are free to leave, if it helps you find peace. I wish you all the best". It's what I would say. Friendships don't last forever (apart from some exceptions), and people are free to leave, if it helps them to get over faster. Incompatibility of feelings is not objecti…
/r/PurplePillDebate20/02/24 07:14 PM
2

when someone walks across the room, pushes everyone out of their way and says to you "how you doin', hot stuff?" There's a middle term and more suitable places to approach before that (pushing everyone out of the way is just rudeness), and better ways of making a verbal first move than saying that sort of stuff. No, I don't have strange women literally throwing themselves at me, ripping their clothes off and saying "take me!" No sane man is asking for that (in fact, it's more likely that she's g…
/r/PurplePillDebate09/02/24 04:15 PM
2

If a woman wants you, she will put in effort to show you Does that effort include verbally asking out a guy?
/r/PurplePillDebate09/02/24 04:04 PM
–

When they're spending every second of every day together, yes Don't they have to work? I've felt personally connected to a person on a deep level after 5 minutes. Not the deepest level of course and not at enough levels to date or move in. Guess we have different definitions of personal connection then. 1 month ain't enough for many men and women, sounds like a recipe for speed-rushing into cohabitation and, potentially, a toxic relationship.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/02/24 08:14 PM
–

you approach and risk being denied Been there, done that. I had dates with a woman out of it as well. or you don't, blame women for it and stay single the rest of your life. No point in blaming the individual woman for it. But women acquiesce to the patriarchical/gender norms of not asking a man out - and the onus of asking is on the men - a bit too easily, while other norms have been openly defied (and understandably so). Unless you're assuming I'm like the other guys here, and you just wanted …
/r/PurplePillDebate07/02/24 08:04 PM
–

Men are not the only ones that are allowed to feel scared and insecure. Nowadays it's a bit better, but men generally aren't allowed to feel scared or insecure (see "you're not a real man" attitudes/perceptions, conscious or subconscious, from both other men and from women). While women are, by comparison, more allowed to feel scared, insecure, or depressed. They're more accepted for feeling such things by society at large. (And I say this as a lucky man for having a family that accepted and und…
/r/PurplePillDebate07/02/24 07:22 PM
–

Approach always involves some sort of risk, there is no way to get around that. But as they say you miss all the shots you don't take. And yet, a lot of women won't do the same, much less ask a man out. Funny how the burden of making the first direct/verbal approach is (almost) always on the man.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/02/24 07:06 PM
–

That's why there's the meme about Lesbians moving in together after like a month. They feel that level of intense deep personal connection. I dunno what lesbians you're hanging around, but they get super personal, super quick Can they really gauge one another deeply within a month? What if they engage in said 'deep' personal connection, but one of them doesn't know the other is a domestic abuser? Or both would turn out to be conflict-prone to one another? Or some other problematic behaviour? I c…
/r/PurplePillDebate07/02/24 06:45 PM
10

Seems like the simplest solution to circumvent all of the AI aides people are using to make fake pictures and text responses. Until AI for video becomes strong enough, then it's another arms race.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/02/24 12:38 AM
2

how many women are offended at a coffee/tea + walk date Look at the bright side: you can scratch those women off the list, they wouldn't be good company.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/02/24 08:36 PM
6

Think he's referring mostly to East Asian women (Japanese, Korean, Chinese).
/r/PurplePillDebate05/02/24 08:07 PM
3

What's the line that separates big from extremely big (for tits, height, whatever)?
/r/PurplePillDebate05/02/24 06:26 PM
1

When women out-earn men from younger generations onwards, how will dating shift, if economic criteria matters (especially to women, for various reasons)?
/r/PurplePillDebate02/02/24 09:43 PM
–

The only thing that makes men below average is if you're physically attractive lol I think you meant unattractive. Anyway, there are other things that make men below average, judging by some women's (and men's) responses (both in this thread and across the subreddit). One of the most common is if a man lives with his parents (even if he's contributing to the family household). I think they also give a fuck about one's job or economic status, if they're looking to have kids in the future. If they…
/r/PurplePillDebate02/02/24 09:34 PM
–

Probably a roundabout way of saying that feminism empowered her economically (even though it was capitalism that did so), so, she can merely hire one's services, rather than needing a man.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/02/24 07:23 PM
–

For all the eulogies of American hustle culture, I think it's something that works there, but it wouldn't work elsewhere. Certainly not in my country, where hard work is rewarded with more work, while the pay stays the same or barely increases. A cursory glance through history seems to also show that people living at their parents' home was also the norm (at least until they got married, or until they saved enough for a house). As more and more people can't afford to move out, and end up living …
/r/PurplePillDebate02/02/24 07:14 PM
–

Depends on the motive and how much they're into an actual place. And if there's compatibility. I'd like to go to Italy again (been there twice, once with family, and the other at the end of high school with friends/colleagues and teachers), because they got loads of history, classical architecture and art, and I'm very into those things. I wouldn't be compatible with someone whose idea of travel is merely going to [insert fancy/luxurious beach resort here]. If that's their thing, cool, but it wo…
/r/PurplePillDebate02/02/24 07:03 PM
2

That's a slightly different problem (and one not too different from, say, Swift or K-pop stans, even though women stans aren't shamed or get side-eyed glances like gamers get, but I digress).
/r/PurplePillDebate02/02/24 05:51 PM
6

Not wearing a star wars t-shirt I thought geek/nerd culture had become mainstream. Time to go back to the closet and repress oneself, then? playing video games Both men and women play games, these days. It's no longer a niche thing.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/02/24 03:11 PM
–

Anytime a woman comes here and is like “the bar is in hell. Just don’t be the worst person I’ve ever seen and be genuine and fun and pleasant to be around and I know you can find romantic fulfillment.” There are people who are not pleasant to be around who have relationships. There are people who are pleasant, but have a hard time getting a job or have seemingly unsurpassable economic conditions (especially with housing more and more out of reach). Or have other unlucky circumstances or timing. …
/r/PurplePillDebate01/02/24 04:07 PM
–

Because when you meet a woman and have great chemistry with her, see that she enjoys your company and you hers, have so many things in common and would love to meet again... She will see you as a friend, because you're an unattractive loser who is only good at making people like you platonically. Thanks for summarizing my uni years. I do not miss those times. Or most of the past, really.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/02/24 03:32 PM
4

I think that person's point is that some parents would dismiss a son's suicide attempt that said son knew it wouldn't be successful. Some would think of it as being whiny (because toxic attitudes towards mental health), or as being manipulative. Daughters get a bit more leeway or acceptance/understanding in that regard, unless there's a history of manipulative suicide 'threats' (and sometimes, even then...).
/r/PurplePillDebate01/02/24 03:22 PM
4

higher education are luxuries Most well-paid jobs (trades aside) require higher education by necessity.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/02/24 02:26 PM
1

Maybe stop believing anything a celeb (even your favourite celeb) says is gospel? Just a hint.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/01/24 05:59 PM
1

So, she wants other women to go after short guys, but she won't. Maybe she shouldn't demand other women to go after who she wouldn't go for, herself?
/r/PurplePillDebate30/01/24 01:12 AM
1

Eh, they could be bi and don't know it yet. Whatevs.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/01/24 06:29 PM
1

Guys flock around pretty boys. You should hear the way guys talk about pretty boys I assume that, nowadays, with LGBT being more accepted, that happens. But no way it happened in my time (and my country). Now, charisma, that's another matter. Charismatic guys get leader of the pack status.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/01/24 05:33 PM
2

still act like mean girls who never left highschool And some - I assume - were on the receiving end of said mean girls, and now want to dish it out.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/01/24 09:32 PM
1

Verbally asking men out (aka taking the first initiative). Even men who are in the same social circles. There are exceptions, but the norm is that most women do not ask out men (again, verbally - smiling or doing eye 'signals' is not a sign of anything, it's just friendliness/politeness).
/r/PurplePillDebate22/01/24 11:23 PM
2

There's a stigma/taboo surrounding suicide and mental illness in Japan. The numbers are probably higher than the ones they report, and families who've had one of their members killing themselves generally don't talk about them.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/01/24 07:03 PM
2

there were residents with Alzheimer’s sneaking around to go boink each other during the day. At that point they didn’t even know who each other were, mistaking each other for dead spouses from decades ago. It’s literally never too late until your genitals give out. That is so sad I'd rather remain a virgin till death than subject myself to that.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/01/24 03:57 PM
3

It's a flippant (if not outright bait) one-liner, that's why it's low effort. that's a dumb and irrelevant quote. Well, the context was that he was a coach (a great one, to boot) even though he hadn't played football (soccer for the Americans) once, at a time when Italian sports culture always expected their coaches to have been players in some capacity. In the same capacity, one doesn't need to have had sex to have studied women's (and/or men's) anatomy, contraceptives and their efficacy, learn…
/r/PurplePillDebate15/01/24 06:26 PM
0

Since this is low-effort, have a quote. And a variation of said quote, if the other isn't clear.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/01/24 03:48 PM
4

Or the people she actually might be interested in? Last I checked, Bumble was meant for this. If Mohammed doesn't come to the mountain, it's time for the mountain to come to Mohammed. In other words, time for women to be pro-active, rather than feeling bothered while remaining passive in the face of hundreds of messages.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/01/24 10:16 PM
–

She said oddest, not oldest.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/01/24 01:50 AM
–

I wouldn't say men who read are rare, but, nonetheless, thanks for the compliment :)
/r/PurplePillDebate05/01/24 08:44 PM
–

The art niche tracks, they're usually more open minded there. Alas, it wasn't the area I went to (no real artistic skills and all that). But I guess I am part of the homebody group, since I only sporadically go out (and it's usually with nuclear or extended family members, these days), and prefer to stay at home listening to music and reading, while drinking a cocktail on the couch.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/01/24 07:05 PM
–

Do you think those standards and values are mostly innate or mostly cultural/societal?
/r/PurplePillDebate05/01/24 06:25 PM
–

lots of women like shy men I don't doubt it appeals to a niche irl. But lots? No, I don't believe in that quantity, life ain't a manic pixie dream girl movie or a heartwarming manga. Kudos to your friend, in any case.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/01/24 06:23 PM
–

I was talking from a more societal/overall pov, and its influence on some (many?) people's thoughts and expectations. Not her specifically. But since you brought it up, do you think she would have what she has, if she were a shy man? When men are still often expected to make the first move?
/r/PurplePillDebate05/01/24 06:18 PM
–

It’s never occurred to me that this would be a problem. You have to admit there's a double standard where most shy or introverted women are accepted and enter into relationships with relative ease, while most shy or introverted men do not get such attention or are outright considered to be weird or insecure (even though there are many insecure extroverted people). Right? You're not affected by the standard, you can benefit from it.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/01/24 04:45 PM
3

"My dad died, I cried and she didn’t want to have sex". Maybe it's because she is giving you space to process what you're going through. And because emotional pain isn't healed with sex in women, she assumes you're like that too. If a woman I dated was having those kinds of problems, I would say "take your time, be with your loved ones, take care of yourself". Saying nothing and ghosting is a bit cruel, you have to admit.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/01/24 02:50 PM
4

Sounds like you need to improve (or, more accurately, repair) your interpretation skills, then.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/01/24 04:32 AM
5

China has worse demographic numbers in the long run (plus feminism being historically older than China's ruling party). Your US will be fine, compared to them.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/01/24 04:07 PM
5

I doubt there are women genuinely interested in early 30s men without experience. At best they're rare (and already taken). In the case of 'hadn't noticed', I was more referring to a signal or two made by one girl towards me, but I failed to register it. It was in high school, and tbh, it wasn't the best of times for me, so, I thought she was doing it on a dare or as a prank from her friends. I don't miss those times, and I can't recall her face, anyway.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/01/24 02:06 AM
1

Thanks, got it now!
/r/PurplePillDebate04/01/24 01:45 AM
2

Because those girls (now women) are in the past, and I've lost contact with over time. And, again: (but I wasn't interested in them, or hadn't noticed) Bolded for emphasis. (Well, that, and being interested in women who weren't interested in me for most years of my life. All love is unrequited, as the trope goes)
/r/PurplePillDebate03/01/24 11:50 PM
6

It is not a death sentence, but I only realized it after going through years (and a psychologist) to come to terms with it. And I came to terms with it by accepting at last I won't find love or sex in this life (and before someone says, no, I'm not interested in prostitutes, escorts, etc.). Not out of defeatism, but only because even if I fixed all that was wrong with me, it'd be too late, so, I had reframe it as fixing myself for my own sake. This took 3 years to really internalize it and becom…
/r/PurplePillDebate03/01/24 10:25 PM
3

she's teaching him still, or teaching him him still, or teaching him new him still, or teaching him still, or showing him new things Maybe it's because I'm not a native speaker, but I can't parse this.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/01/24 10:14 PM
2

Was your first kiss perfect? No, because you were inexperienced in that area. First times will always be very rough around the edges or will simply go poorly. If an inexperienced person never had a makeout session, it would be easy to detect by the way the lips or the tongue are used. Or by how overwhelmed they would be by the event. Or even simple indecision and cluelessness as to what to do during, or afterwards.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/01/24 10:01 PM
3

You have the opportunity to fix your problem by gaining experience with someone who knows what they’re doing Outside of professional settings (e.g. escorts, sex therapists), most women do not want anything to do with inexperienced guys. Especially ones who are 'christmas cakes'.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/01/24 06:23 PM
2

Apart from some 'unicorn'-like exceptions, neither experienced women nor inexperienced ones want an inexperienced man. They don't want to be one's 'training wheels' and all that. Not everyone will find love, sex or companionship of some kind, even when they try. Might as well learn to accept it and feeling some kind of inner peace and contentment out of life's other avenues and things to see and do (it's what I've been doing, for some years already).
/r/PurplePillDebate03/01/24 06:20 PM
2

1.) men looking to use a woman as a place holder for sex till they find someone they actually like to commit to or till the get bored and rotate the woman out and 2.) men who want to play the feminine role in the relationship. Option 3. Masculine and feminine roles are contrived bullshit and people, regardless of sex or gender, should just go for it, if they really want that person. This is the age of equality, time to act like it, in full. I'm sorry you think of only two options, rather than th…
/r/PurplePillDebate27/12/23 04:05 PM
5

It's because of both, otherwise, women would have no qualms with virgin men. But many do, and refuse to be some virgin man's 'training wheels' (if the prospect of a relationship or sex arises). Or use the word 'virgin' pejoratively if a man says misogynist things (when virginity is not a reliable predictor of whether a man is a misogynist or not - there are virgins who are respectful, there are sexually popular men who are anything but that). Virginity in men is a stigma that people of both gend…
/r/PurplePillDebate27/12/23 03:42 AM
3

But the one thing I remember from it was the women said "maybe you should try being friends with a women first" Some women would think of one of their peers saying this as an enabler or a gender equivalent of a class traitor. It's one thing to gradually become attracted whilst being friends, or even suddenly feeling in love. But strategizing it is basically how many women became a bit wary of supposed 'friends' of the opposite sex, for good reason. (It's also a very pitiful 'strategy', on accoun…
/r/PurplePillDebate27/12/23 03:30 AM
9

Just as you assume men are doing it in order to get sex, I assume you're thinking that way. As most (all?) people here are not privy to each others' lives and thoughts, we often engage in guesswork. It's our human nature, considering all of us here have incomplete information, more or less. Let me pose a different question, to change course: can you think of a male friend being really into a female friend, in other words, not in order to get sex, but as a want/desire to have a genuine romantic r…
/r/PurplePillDebate27/12/23 02:57 AM
12

I mean that you think men who are friends with a given woman are doing it in a manipulative manner, in order to get sex. I don't deny some do such a sleazy approach, but I'd say other men (in equal or greater numbers, relatively speaking) simply gradually become attracted to her, on a subconscious level (or even conscious), or end up falling in love. Basically, men who happen to be interested in a friend of theirs don't do it because of sex alone, they're genuinely, wholeheartedly into her, and …
/r/PurplePillDebate27/12/23 02:46 AM
13

that she was pretending to be your friend in order to get sex Last I checked, most women are interested in relationships proper, not just sex. You've kinda giving away what you think of men, here. Anyway, C. I had to do the same myself (though I didn't do it suddenly, it was a gradual process, which involved deleting some social media we were both in... and declining an online invitation). Life goes on, and if she's doing it to preserve her mental and emotional health, or to move on quicker, I'd…
/r/PurplePillDebate27/12/23 02:38 AM
7

OP is a woman.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/12/23 03:02 PM
–

I prefer warm approaches (e.g. through a mutual friend, which is how I got my one dating experience, years ago), myself. Also, asking a stranger tends to happen less these days. Yes, one doesn't just walk up to a stranger, but in no way I'm going to assume it's a move or a sign of romantic interest, if a woman came up to me and started talking. At most, she's just being friendly or merely in need of information about something or some place.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/12/23 03:37 PM
–

Starts a small talk conversation, asks an easy question about their surroundings, pretends she thinks he’s someone else, ask if he’s had any luck doing what he’s doing, ask if “as a stranger” he can give her a straight answer about xyz Most of those things can't really be interpreted as a woman being interested in a man. Especially in this day and age. But that's maybe because I interact with people who do those things with me while they wait, because I'm a secretary for my family, and people as…
/r/PurplePillDebate14/12/23 12:15 AM
–

Tragic that there are many sexually submissive men or tragic that there are too few sexually dominant women?
/r/PurplePillDebate30/11/23 03:40 PM
–

Some experienced women don't want to be 'training wheels' (their words, not mine) or don't want to be the 'teacher'. Or think virgin men are a red flag. Or they simply prefer experienced men, since said men supposedly already know what they want and know how to please them. And most experienced women have a boyfriend or a husband already, so, it's off-limits. Lots of reasons and circumstances.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/11/23 03:55 PM
–

Depends on if I was attracted to her or not. In either case, I wouldn't know how to respond initially, other than the likely possibility I'd feel confused and would ask myself if she's trying to sell me something, or scam me, or use me for a favor. Because it's extremely unlikely a woman would ever act that way towards me.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/11/23 10:47 PM
4

I'm saying that the Billie one is not as subversive or as genuinely provocative as the women musicians from those eras, who were much more aggressive (out of necessity). Hence the sarcastic 'cute'. I'd go so far as to say she is not subversive nor goes against gender/sexual norms the way, say, UK bands like Huggy Bear (or, in the US, Bikini Kill) were (to name a couple of examples.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/11/23 04:33 PM
3

she personally refuses to go along with it and is being purposely subversive? "Cute". - every 'riot grrl' musician and/or singer from the 90's (or every woman who was a punk or post-punk musician in the late 70's/early 80's).
/r/PurplePillDebate14/11/23 03:45 PM
1

Treating mental health (and saving me from suicide) is what my psychologist (and a psychiatrist) did, and helped me to treat my depression and be more helpful (towards others and towards myself) in my daily life. Both of them are men, and the psychologist is the same age as mine. No negative price for me, whatsoever.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/11/23 07:27 PM
2

You know better than I ever could. Sorry to hear such attitudes are still ongoing, against you and your peers. :(
/r/PurplePillDebate07/11/23 01:08 PM
1

She would certainly have much better odds than a man saying the same thing.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/11/23 03:03 AM
6

But dont change who you are, because they wont accept you. How about 'change who you are, not for others, but for your self, and to become a better person'?
/r/PurplePillDebate07/11/23 01:00 AM
1

Women’s way of showing interest is not going to always be as painfully obvious as “hey you’re cute.” Well, they can always work on that. Women can do anything, they can learn to ask out or approach men. I have heard of women finding me handsome. In those cases, it was: * The wrong time (e.g. while dealing with high school bullying/toxicness); * Unfit circumstances (e.g. supermarket checkout woman winking at me); * They're married ones (in the case of the latter, there's no real interest, and, be…
/r/PurplePillDebate07/11/23 12:52 AM
1

I have no doubt (even in my country - a very culturally Catholic one, even if nowadays there isn't a lot of church attendance) that some women do abide by those 'rules', yes. Tradition/conservatism, fear of social judgement, income inequality, legacy of patriarchal dictatorships, you name it. But I have no interest in dating women who abide by tradition (especially not for tradition's sake), or don't question culture or society at any point in their lives. And, as women aren't a monolith, some p…
/r/PurplePillDebate07/11/23 12:01 AM
4

You wont go to jail for cold approaching Although I never did cold approaching (not my thing), the fear some men feel is not jail, it's social ostracism (and/or being blasted on social media for people in the nearby social circles to notice and shun said men, in return). Imagine doing something that would turn you into a persona non grata in the eyes of your peers. How would you feel?
/r/PurplePillDebate06/11/23 11:30 PM
2

“Maybe she’s just being friendly,” or “maybe she’s screwing with me.” I don't think that's lack of confidence as much as it's all about keeping one's expectations low (high expectations lead to disappointment/sadness/frustration/whatever). Best to think of it from a casual viewpoint, rather than to build up a bit of a fantasy during the interaction. By having low or no expectations and being able to freely flow, one avoids getting overly attached (being overly attached causes damage to one's sel…
/r/PurplePillDebate06/11/23 11:24 PM
0

The options would be to get a one-time test Yes, I already said that (and I'd agree on doing it, if the hypothetical date asked me for it). What I disagree is with the 'regularly', speaking from my viewpoint, in terms of my own particular set of circumstances. But whatever, it's been years since I've been attracted to or dated someone, so, guess I'll continue to feel indifferent to such demands. I can see your viewpoint, but at my stage of life, it would be a waste of time to get tested (much le…
/r/PurplePillDebate06/11/23 10:01 PM
2

'Stingy in bed'? You mean selfish in bed? Anyway, generosity is a virtue, but it doesn't have to be expressed through paying for goods and services. Lending one's coat if the other feels cold on a winter's day for a little while is a form of generosity. There's also a middle term between being (materially) generous and stingy, hard as it may be to believe. If some women wish to be material girls, that's their choice. But I won't submit to such demands. I'm not American, I refuse to abide by Amer…
/r/PurplePillDebate06/11/23 09:56 PM
1

Responsible adults should get tested regularly. Even virgins? (assuming people are and declare such in good faith) I can see myself, a virgin man, getting a one-time test for the sake of trust during dating. But virgins are an exception to your (justified) requirement, imho.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/11/23 09:49 PM
1

Fair, I guess. To me, gifts is something that should only be given on Xmas, birthdays, or if one is sick. And generally only to people I really trust/cherish. Or sporadic light-hearted gifts like chocolate or flowers (but such things aren't common in my country during dating, only after the relationship is firmly established). Nothing expensive or overly sacrificing.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/11/23 09:44 PM
-3

Disclosure of STI/STD is one of the ways to gauge one's sexual history, tho. Not the only one, of course, but there are many ways (subtle, or unspoken, or based on seemingly innocuous questions, etc.) to get information about one's sexual history without asking explicitly.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/11/23 09:30 PM
17

Even wholesome and body positive women will see the average adult male virgin as "just a friend" but not an intimate partner. Don't forget sex positive women who bang on about people respecting others' sexual history (or lack of it) suddenly feeling an internal dissonance, or, in some cases feeling repulsed by it (and the body/facial language is quite telling, in that regard). A lot of people out there are two-faced when it comes to virgins (both male and, past a certain age, female as well). Th…
/r/PurplePillDebate06/11/23 09:08 PM
2

I’d think they either have financial troubles or I was just an “ehh she’s good enough for now I guess.” There is a third option: You're financially autonomous, and he fully respects/admires you, and acts accordingly. He doesn't have to be broke, nor is he necessarily thinking of you lightly or with complacency.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/11/23 08:56 PM
1

Disclosing your sexual history is absolutely not required Explain people asking others to get tested for STD's before they have fun times, then.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/11/23 08:37 PM
3

then, as he receives more physical affection, he then pays for more expensive dates. This sounds like some sort of 'premium app'. It may have made sense in the times where women didn't made a lot of money, or didn't leave the house, but times have changed (at least in the west), and women are economically triumphing over men. You don't offer an alternative, you just offer the status quo of the past, only in a softer way. Split bills, 'pay what you eat', or 'I pay the first, you pay the second' m…
/r/PurplePillDebate06/11/23 08:23 PM
1

No one hates autistic people Openly? The vast majority of people don't do so. But there is prejudice out there, in relatively overt or covert ways. You would be surprised if you truly knew people's thoughts (that they don't say). Or the way media portrays autistic people (e.g. generally not good, or as a caricature a la Rain Man).
/r/PurplePillDebate06/11/23 06:16 PM
1

My thoughts on Toktok and whoever uses it to make their videos is in this thread I made a while ago. No content on that wretched social media website (or most social media websites, period) is reliable or trustworthy, regardless of who does it. I trust no gender, in this regard.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/11/23 07:48 PM
3

Your friend's ex-girlfriend was an idiot, and should be ashamed of herself.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/11/23 02:34 AM
2

If you got to cry as a man, the appropriate place is not in front of other people. Men do not have that luxury so it is a useless thing for them to cry in front of others. My sister hugged me and helped me out when I cried and was at my lowest point (e.g. suicidal thoughts, depression), a few years ago. While it won't work for everybody (some have cut ties with their family members, for one reason or another), a family whose members support and accept each other will come out stronger.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/11/23 02:30 AM
4

When really she tried a lot to get him help and he refused. He had a total psychological break for 6 mos to a year and wasn't living in reality. He got fired from multiple jobs, stalked friends, blew through their entire savings etc etc. I'm sure you know this is a case of severe mental illness/psychosis, to the point of harming others. I was not talking about such examples, when I wrote the above. C'mon... If someone says that them being emotional once ruined their LTR i would highly doubt the …
/r/PurplePillDebate02/11/23 08:29 PM
1

Talking about your feelings is not the same as throwing a lil’ temper tantrum and punching a hole in the drywall. Most men don't punch holes or engage in destruction of materials. And if they do in your area (you're from the US, I presume? Men tend to be very aggressive there, from what I've read), leave that area asap.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/11/23 07:34 PM
3

Most (all?) men aren't saying you're supposed to wear it in your sleeve while in the early stages of flirting or dating. But once a relationship has been established, it's best that both partners act as supportive rocks to one another, through thick and thin. I've read way too many stories of long-term relationships ending sooner or later, once the man has finally 'felt secure' letting it out. And while I'll never have a relationship, if I had, I would want my partner to be supportive in roughly…
/r/PurplePillDebate02/11/23 07:25 PM
1

I'm a man, will get to it.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/11/23 07:19 PM
3

Either a case: a) not-so-good communication; or b) preferring to be subtle/ambiguous in her language, in order to get both men and women on board for her views/clicks. I'm more inclined to b).
/r/PurplePillDebate02/11/23 07:19 PM
2

The thing she finds attractive seems to be the resolve taken by the hypothetical man after letting it out. Doesn't work with people suffering from depression, because they need time and care until they find the resolve.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/11/23 06:20 PM
5

Which is why controlling women has been the primary goal of the left Nice projection there.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/11/23 09:31 PM
4

Some shy/meek men actually really want it, hard as it may be to believe.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/11/23 08:58 PM
4

Men are more dangerous and arguably the most dangerous thing for women Aren't many men who make the first move also perceived (rightly or wrongly) dangerous, by that metric? If men are dangerous either way, why not take control and assert oneself front and center? Being assertive is a quality that can be as attractive in women as it can be in men, after all. Asking out first is a way of having the upper hand in the scenario, hard as it may be to believe. Especially if she has all the confidence …
/r/PurplePillDebate01/11/23 08:53 PM
5

Strange men will assume you are easy or desperate. There is a third option: "she is brave and courageous for defying [gender norms / social conventions], when she could've easily sat back". I admire and have massive respect for women who make a genuine first move, and flip the bird to whatever people may think of them.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/11/23 08:46 PM
5

It took me three times, which was one time too many Do you or your peers demand men to keep trying, if they choose to stop asking/approaching after said small number of tries?
/r/PurplePillDebate01/11/23 07:55 PM
1

This is a debate forum. Some threads are, some aren't. I prefer discussions, not American/Anglophone-style debate, where people feel they have to win at all costs. People who are independent are equivalent to purple pills. Purple pills are a combination of blue pill views and red pill views. It has its merits, but they still can't capture the full scope of reality. There are people who can think beyond any kind of pill-oriented views, believe it or not. Name one thing that you believe exists in …
/r/PurplePillDebate01/11/23 03:06 AM
1

People can be no pill, in much the same way people are politically independent or, when it comes to religion, both non-religious and not an atheist. It's not an either/or thing, people come in various different (and unlikely) ways, and some of their thoughts can easily be liberated/free from other people's rigid ways of thinking. Freedom of thought, freedom from your categorizations. Instead of asking for examples, or accusing others of talking non-sense, argue on a philosophical level, or be mo…
/r/PurplePillDebate01/11/23 02:48 AM
1

I am a man, yes. Do I have to click an option somewhere?
/r/PurplePillDebate01/11/23 02:45 AM
1

I don't doubt that it sets off (some) women's creep detectors. As for knowing which car was theirs, it may imply spying, but more likely it was simple coincidence (bear with me here, and let's apply some Occam's razor): maybe he was walking down the street, saw her park the car in said street, and felt attracted to her once he saw her while walking by and decided to shoot his shot. It's not like he wrote "hiya toots, want some fuck?", otherwise, the women you mentioned in your OP would've had a …
/r/PurplePillDebate01/11/23 02:16 AM
1

You can't be "no-pill" The concept of pills is usually narrow-minded or self-limiting in terms of understanding the complexities of relations between men and women. Their ideologies (because that's what pills are, really) may have something valid or true worth saying, but they don't capture the full spectrum of reality. In that sense I'm no pill, and will happily take the piss out of whatever pills exist. I can't take any pill seriously or with respect, on account of their narrow-mindedness. Lif…
/r/PurplePillDebate01/11/23 01:53 AM
0

OP, you said the note the guy left said that the woman he's interested in is beautiful and he left his number. That's not 'I've been spying on you' level, now is it? It's best to ask - in good faith - an equivalent to the one you're responding to - "Would you rather a girl talked to you or left a note on your car saying something like "Hi, I think you're cute, here's my number, call me maybe"? (Yes, I'm quoting/paraphrasing an 'old' pop/meme song). Is it creepy or cute? Your mileage may vary, ju…
/r/PurplePillDebate01/11/23 01:15 AM
3

I don't think bottleblank is disagreeing about human trafficking (or its numbers), it's more the specific method pointed out above, and its specific level of frequency (namely, lacing papers and putting them on windshields).
/r/PurplePillDebate01/11/23 01:00 AM
3

Most men and most women aren't rotten, unlike what PPD'ers here say (both men and women here are likely "shoot me down", on both sides, so to speak, in this regard; I'm used to being politically/"genderly" alone - dunno the right word, I'm not a native speaker). Flawed, yes, most of us men and women are. But rotten is a special kind of negative, because it implies complete moral bankruptcy. And most men and women don't tick such box.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/11/23 12:44 AM
2

I live in a city in a Southern European country. Try harder. All my women cousins picked men they got into relationships with and introduced said men to the extended family, and vetted them carefully. They also have friends who introduced some of the men (or, in the case of a cousin that is a bit younger than me, the guy was introduced by a male cousin of ours), first. Such is the importance of family, friends, and networks. But I'm aware that Americans have fraught relationships with their fami…
/r/PurplePillDebate31/10/23 08:34 PM
1

“Calling things out” is code word for whining Next time people around the world call out a few certain people for abuses of power (e.g. black people calling out all sorts of abuses by cops), or point out any sort of labour exploitation or gendered abuse, I'll know which side you're on.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/10/23 07:30 PM
1

It’s not inherently icky, it’s icky coming from a man Jealousy is icky, if not outright problematic (and in some cases a red flag), coming from whoever, regardless of gender. So much for equality...
/r/PurplePillDebate31/10/23 07:27 PM
1

I’m telling you that women perceive this behavior to be feminine and find it repulsive When a woman gets jealous, do you say it's fine to feel that way, then? Since when jealousy/envy has ever been a virtue for any gender?
/r/PurplePillDebate31/10/23 06:57 PM
2

That is not practical or possible for 99% of people. Bullshit. She has family and friends of both sexes who can help her vet men. Most people do this around the world (but I can concede that US's emphasis on hyper-individualism can be an obstacle). It's not her fault that the men she chose were pump and dumpers, true, but it's her responsibility to not fall for their sweet ass talk ever again, after all that happened, or to have sex with them and expect commitment just because. If she wants a re…
/r/PurplePillDebate31/10/23 06:30 PM
2

On the surface, no (tho some men prefer women who aren't compulsively on social media, much in the same way some women prefer men who aren't compulsively on MMO games). But again, behind the scenes, a lot of issues (personality, habits, etc.) my arise. Let's not pedestalize women, it benefits no one.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/10/23 05:03 PM
2

but they are ideal women Are they? Looks aren't everything. One could be toxic behind the scenes, the nature of influencer looks requires high maintenance (which is not for everyone), and while they (general they) may be popular influencers, they might be book or culture dumb. Or they might not have empathy, or even care for those closest to. There's no ideal. In fact, I'd argue pursuing an ideal man/woman/person is more often a recipe for unhappiness, frustration, anger and other such emotions.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/10/23 04:48 PM
5

Don't invalidate his personal experience. Be better than that.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/10/23 04:43 PM
3

a partner's income tends to be less important to you the more you earn I don't see working class men being paired off with upper class women on the regular or in great numbers, or such working class men being actively desired (not even by upper-middle class women). Do you?
/r/PurplePillDebate31/10/23 02:28 PM
5

There are other 'trees' out there. She can absolutely pick differently, in a city as large as NY-freaking-C.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/10/23 02:11 PM
2

She's supposed to talk to her female friends who may have heard of the guys she picks to give her info and feedback. She even has apps available to figure out which guys are pump and dumpers, where a lot of women share info about said guys. Men are often told to think of their own choices when they select women who all "magically" turn out to be crap. The same applies to women. "if everyone you meet is an asshole..." and all that. She needs to do a private self-reflection or have a long conversa…
/r/PurplePillDebate31/10/23 02:07 PM
2

Any male human who is sexually satisfied loses any will to socialize... No, I think you're projecting your own disposition. Plenty of humans socialize, regardless of the levels of sexual satisfaction. Asexuals socialize, sexually active men socialize, virgins socialize, chads and family men socialize. Most people socialize with both men and women, across different age brackets. When people are having a Xmas dinner with family, they're socializing. When they're in a bar with their buddies drinkin…
/r/PurplePillDebate31/10/23 01:59 PM
1

If you’re jerking it to someone you’ve never met…that’s seeing them as an object, not a person So, when women are fantasizing about male celebrities, even though they don't know them personally or met, are they treating said men as objects as well?
/r/PurplePillDebate31/10/23 01:11 PM
1

Some men are treated like objects of strength. Some like objects of wealth. Some like objects of physical labour. There's no universal form of objectification of males. It happens in different flavours, and it's culture-dependent, essentially.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/10/23 12:57 PM
1

women weren't allowed to work Women of upper or upper-middle class did not work, yes. But working class women almost always had to (as all documents reporting factory conditions in the Industrial Revolution and Victorian age showed) by sheer necessity, and were paid miserly. Women, by and large, weren't paid a fair wage, that's the real crux of the matter. But they often had to work and then arrive home for more work (e.g. cooking, child rearing). Women not being allowed to work was more of an u…
/r/PurplePillDebate31/10/23 12:36 PM
2

Most people want/like some kind of companionship: family, friends, and so forth. If you're happy being a hermit, be so. But you're in a minority of people.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/10/23 12:09 PM
–

Ooh good one. I'll put it on the shortlist, thanks.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/10/23 10:06 AM
2

social media isn’t real life Social media has bled into real life, tho. From people getting fired for making inappropriate comments to others getting filled to the brim with propaganda (regardless of which side does it), and becoming polarized as a result. Haven't people learned from the Cambridge Analytica debacle? It's no longer possible to fully separate the waters. People are more and more online these days, social engineering and political propaganda are thriving (and dividing us common peo…
/r/PurplePillDebate30/10/23 02:55 AM
–

Some think it's a cheap/thrifty choice (imo, those types tend to prefer to have a whole meal ticket or to see if the prospect has financial strength, especially if the person wants to settle or has marriage in mind). Others dislike it for being - as you said - stereotypical (but then again, most dates do take place in stereotypical/common places). Outside of such complaints, I don't get it either.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/10/23 01:57 AM
–

Noted. Will take a look. Is he romantically or sexually appealing to someone in that show?
/r/PurplePillDebate30/10/23 01:53 AM
8

Most don't hate. Indifference and/or disinterest is more likely to occur (some actual turn-offs or at least 'icks' do ensue, mind). Lack of patience as well, in a world filled with constant speed and demands. That being said, that woman you quoted did say she was shy and awkward, so, she basically hates what she was (you hate what you are/were is a well-known thing in some people), and coming across a shy and/or awkward man reminds her of what she used to be like. She's still hurting a bit from …
/r/PurplePillDebate30/10/23 01:52 AM
–

I see. I thought from a different angle, but I got your goals.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/10/23 01:46 AM
–

I don't look forward to tackling Twilight (handsome vampire stuff is not up my alley, I prefer vampires to be ugly wretches), but I'll take a general look at it.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/10/23 01:19 AM
–

I find that some who don't like coffee dates are not great conversationalists or can't keep up a convo going for a couple of hours, or simply can't show consistently active interest by talking and listening. My one-time dating experience (years ago) was mostly centered around coffee/bar dates, and was a positive one, because me (inexperienced, younger) and she (experienced, older) were able to have a solid, enriching 2 hour convo on the very first date.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/10/23 01:16 AM
–

Guess I'll do a brief rewatch, then.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/10/23 01:11 AM
–

Can't recall. I do remember him having trouble fitting in.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/10/23 01:06 AM
–

Age gap matters aside, that's actually an intriguing one, judging by the premise. I'll put it on my list, thanks.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/10/23 01:04 AM
–

I would've listened to your protest if I was younger. But I made peace with the fact that I'm going to remain a virgin for life at the stage where I am, even if I've been doing some self-improvement for these past few years (which is, well, for the self, not for the sake of a woman). My window has closed, don't try to force it open, if you'd be so kind. So, now, my focus is on helping younger virgin guys who may read or come across this subreddit, and, especially, questioning modern society's vi…
/r/PurplePillDebate30/10/23 01:02 AM
–

No problem. Will check that movie out this week, then.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/10/23 12:56 AM
–

I see. Still think that was a dud in Lucas' writing, who tried to balance the whole 'brother and sister have midi-chlorians' with the prior writing involving them. (But I admit I haven't watched ROTJ or any of the newer trilogy movies, I lost interest and track of things in that franchise years ago)
/r/PurplePillDebate30/10/23 12:55 AM
–

I don't recall Max ever being appealing to anyone but the witches, and the witches have a goal in mind that is not out of sexual interest, but out of battling against old age looks. I watched the movie years and years ago, my memory might be a bit fuzzy. I'll keep it in mind, anyway.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/10/23 12:51 AM
–

Positive, yes, but not really a romantic or sexual light, yes? As it befits his status as a space monk.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/10/23 12:44 AM
–

c) he's shown to be a great husband, father, son and brother. Erm, Jack dies at sea in Titanic without the chance of becoming what you said, are you thinking of another movie? (On a second read, I see you're referring to a different movie already, what's the title?)
/r/PurplePillDebate30/10/23 12:41 AM
–

If I had to take a guess, the user you asked is thinking about scientific studies/results on how young adult men have less testosterone, compared to previous generations (and possible ways of addressing it). Just my 2 cents.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/10/23 12:39 AM
–

Does anyone have examples in pop culture (well-knwon movies, music, books, etc.) that show/portray a male virgin in not only a positive light, but a romantic light or a sexually desirable light? As per one conversation I had recently, there 's Jack in Titanic (at least prior to him having the time of his late with Rose), but I want to gather others, in order to do a write-up on pop culture and its distorting/warped romanticisms (I like to regularly question media/culture stuff, it's how my mind …
/r/PurplePillDebate30/10/23 12:35 AM
10

what I have seen on TV shows it’s the men who dress sexy at those. Clearly you have only seen some snippets.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/10/23 02:03 PM
12

In my case, it's not anger, but a mixture of sadness and disillusionment. I have enough IRL interaction that I don't think it's hopeless, but I still have to take occasional breaks from this place (and I'm pondering leaving it for good sometime in the near future). It's also a bit hurtful - or, alternatively, eye-rolling, depending on my mood and on a given answer or set of answers by folks here - whenever the topic of virginity comes up. It hits a bit too close to home, at times.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/10/23 09:56 PM
1

There are indeed men who don't like being told what to do, out of some sense of misguided pride. I feel the same about them as I feel about men who mistreat or aggressively reject women who ask them out. I just facepalm at both of those types. But I'd wager there are more virgin men genuinely willing to learn, than the opposite. Seems unlikely for a sensible woman. Even the most sensible of persons can have a blind spot, or a subconscious reaction they can't control (think something along the li…
/r/PurplePillDebate27/10/23 08:32 PM
4

But even amongst the more progressive types, you still have a lot of them upholding conventional norms. There are feminists who take the initiative, but you also have plenty of feminists that still expect men to take all the initiative (so, a conventional/traditional) norm, while not walking the walk when it comes to upsetting the apple cart. There are some feminists who do walk the walk and prefer split bills in dates (or even pay for the first date, in rare cases), but there are also many who …
/r/PurplePillDebate27/10/23 08:21 PM
4

You could flip this social norm if you wanted. If you can't get most/all women on flipping a social norm (as the existence of conservative women shows), why do you think men could ever agree (all or even most) on flipping it? Change only happens if there's a critical mass, and, at the moment, there is no critical mass amongst men or women at large when it comes to tearing down social/dating norms (the last time there may have been some critical mass was probably in the 60's/70's; things changed …
/r/PurplePillDebate27/10/23 07:30 PM
2

he doesn't like being told what to do, or...? On the contrary, when a woman says she doesn't want to be one's "training wheels", it's because of one (or most) of these things: She dislikes guys who are looking for some kind of guidance or orientation when it comes to sex. Some women assume the man is supposed to get it from the get-go, others dislike taking on an active role, others fear (rightly or wrongly) that he'll look elsewhere, once he's been 'trained'. Some women want to feel passive and…
/r/PurplePillDebate27/10/23 04:50 PM
2

any time someone is wholesome they can just as easily be sarcastic or callous. Or they get paradoxically distrusted by others ("what is he/she hiding?"). Distrust and cynicism breeds distrust and cynicism, then people wonder why they don't receive any affection.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/10/23 04:37 PM
1

Jesus has some horribly barbaric quotes on slaughtering non believers Bring up the quote. abandoning one’s family This one I know what you're referring to. But look at this from a parallel of a political ideology: Let's assume your family is a bunch of fascists and you're a left-winger (so, the polar opposite). Will you continue to hang around at the table with them (and thus becoming either a fascist or a fascism enabler), or will you ditch them, and join your brethren in a left-wing political …
/r/PurplePillDebate27/10/23 04:28 PM
5

There are women like you that don't hate the idea. But there are women who do hate. Common sentences I've read in many places (including here) including her not wanting to be anyone's "training wheels." That expression is common. Some people just hate being the teacher. And there aren't many that like to roleplay (implicitly or explicitly), tbh. Women aren't a monolith, so, other women don't think like you (and some of your peers) do.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/10/23 03:50 PM
1

Not many. The difference lies in their verbal stances, and the words they use. Bear with me here, in regards to the parallels that exist: So, OP thinks most women respect men with big dicks, and don't respect men with small dicks. Because, in OP's view, big dick = power and/or respect in the social arena. Now, when US rappers talk about big dicks, they express their lust for power (in a society that treats them like potential criminals or second class citizens). Or respect. Or the simple autonom…
/r/PurplePillDebate23/10/23 10:48 PM
0

Not all rap or pop is club music, tho. In fact, a lot of rap is precisely about lyrical acumen in order to assert some kind of territory, or having something they feel is worth saying. It's not all fun and games in the rap arena (or even in pop music, with all the inside conflicts abounding). And there are some rap lyrics that can compete with the finest of literature (like Bob Dylan did from the folk/rock end of things), with superbly amazing schemes and vocab. All kinds of culture, low, high, …
/r/PurplePillDebate23/10/23 10:21 PM
-1

A guy just talking about his dick in casual conversation is a fucking weirdo. Agree. you know those rap lyrics are just for show, right? Not necessarily, they can also be a mirror reflection of social / cultural / political attitudes. It's not just rap, pop music at large can give some insights into people's behaviours in a social context (especially one like the US). Lyrics/texts - both in literary and musical form - are very revealing of a nation's culture and social/political values at large …
/r/PurplePillDebate23/10/23 10:08 PM
0

some of these threads i swear, mentality of a 14 year old I dunno, have you heard some old school hip-hop? Quite a few historic rappers who bragged about their big dicks and what they could do with them. Or in US pop music in general, where people (both men and women) brag about being sexually powerful and domineering and capable of making people stop in awe at their mere presence. It's not just an online thing, is what I'm saying.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/10/23 09:56 PM
2

Also, what is this mindset that people are being declared "persona non grata"? Who do you think is making this declaration, on what authority, and who is abiding? Its this kind of allusion to an organized intent among women and society to specifically target certain men that just makes everyone roll their eyes. Its not organized, some guys just do things that a lot of women think are creepy. It is not organized, but I don't think it's chaotic or random either. The persona non grata treatment is …
/r/PurplePillDebate23/10/23 09:04 PM
9

Men have nothing to fear about dating now. Social ostracism or being declared persona non grata over being perceived as a creep (even if they did nothing out of the ordinary beyond some form of awkwardness) does happen to some. And then there are the cases of a few men being blasted on social media by being filmed and then mobbed online which I assume makes younger men (who are more online, compared to older generations) to be more wary of approaching women. Even if such cases are a minority of …
/r/PurplePillDebate23/10/23 07:43 PM
8

What you and your friends are going through is the same that is going through a lot of people my age in my country (which is not an Anglosphere one). Your struggles are the same as the generation that is a bit older than you, time to build some solidarity and common ground, and look away from upper middle class people.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/10/23 02:00 PM
6

millennial avocado eaters It's a bit odd that you're using a stereotype made by boomers regarding millennials. upper middle class Herein lies your trouble with them. For every upper middle class millennial I can show you a working or lower middle class one who's a paycheck or two away from being kicked out onto the streets or is broke. Your problem is part of a class war, not a supposed age war.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/10/23 01:53 PM
–

Marie Antoinette has a killer soundtrack, if that is up your alley. Also, Kirsten Dunst pulls out all the stops with her glam.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/10/23 01:56 AM
1

That's fair, I guess. I still think that in the early stages, there is some overlap between the two feelings.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/10/23 01:45 AM
0

Nobody on their death bed ever said they wished they had more tearful repetitive discussions about shit there's no solving There are people who wished on their death bed they had done more to help or be present and helpful for others, tho. Even if something can't be solved, that doesn't mean one can comfort others with kind words and empathy. 'Suck it up' is the American way of being apathetic (I don't know if you're American, but it seems to be a very common thing over there). I'm not American,…
/r/PurplePillDebate20/10/23 09:08 PM
8

The word sounds very silly, but the concept behind the word isn't silly at all. I believe most men would want or wish that women thought of them as desirable (and maybe even acted accordingly), or that him being or doing something would make her feel, erm... things. Heartfelt things. That being said, I don't align with pillers in general, so, I don't subscribe to their (warped, imo) value judgements in regards to people who feel what the concept says. Edit: Oh yeah, there used to be the word 'bu…
/r/PurplePillDebate20/10/23 09:04 PM
1

Obviously, infatuation is not reliable. But what about men and women who have greater care and patience beyond that phase, and show levels of love and care above average (they are out there, after all)? Also, notice that I also mentioned family and friends. I, myself went to a psychologist, who helped me. But, before him, it was (and is) my family that helped/helps me (and I do the same in return, as much as I can to the level of my abilities). Reality 'is', but we don't have to remain at the 'i…
/r/PurplePillDebate20/10/23 08:55 PM
4

Sometimes a woman just gotta put on her big girl panties on and stop being a whiny little princess. Or she needs to hire someone to listen to her anguished hopeless existential pain as she self indulgently whines about stuff with no real answers. There are women who aren't princesses and go through shit that does make her pain existential (breast cancer, depression). Do you think they're unworthy of lovers, family and/or friends listening and supporting them? Your entire comment seems to do neit…
/r/PurplePillDebate20/10/23 08:38 PM
2

Questioning pop culture requires questioning both genders and their expectations, since, for example, most pop singers that are huge today are women. Both genders' pop actors/musicians/writers, in their pop culture roles, have a blame to shoulder. Consumers of both genders as well have it (which includes us both - though I've been getting away from Anglosphere pop culture, for a while now). I'm all up for tearing down 'nerd gets the girl' movies, as well. But it would be preaching to the choir. …
/r/PurplePillDebate16/10/23 02:35 PM
–

Why would I ask someone what they do for a living, if I'm not interested beyond them being good girlfriends to my friends or relatives? I do often end up receiving the information (either directly or through a third party, where they tell me what the girlfriends do). But, unless it's an area I'm interested in (music, history, philosophy, graphic design, and so forth), I generally don't end up caring about it. She could be unemployed and still be a very positive/compatible person on my male folks…
/r/PurplePillDebate16/10/23 01:13 PM
3

You're not wrong overall, but I'd also wish people question this bit you pointed out, as a secondary goal: Except message boards and social media have been ubiquitous for 25-30 years. Posters and tabloid mags featuring attractive actors and musicians have been plastered on girls’ bedroom walls since matinee idols like Rudolph Valentino drew girls and women to silent films in the 1920s. Televised synchronized swooning was seen around the world when Elvis and The Beatles made appearances on variet…
/r/PurplePillDebate16/10/23 01:03 PM
1

No disagreement on condoms and pills, I was taught about their possibility of failure at the tail end of middle school, in a basic sex ed lecture. I think it will always have an effect on some women’s sexual choices. True. I do think the woman you mentioned is one almost unbelievable outlier. It must have been a hellish experience to go through all that. Anyway, yeah, I get the concern. I did a thread a few months asking women how would they feel about a man who would be open about a vasectomy a…
/r/PurplePillDebate16/10/23 01:53 AM
4

holding the head of a dead deer "This is not a problem" - some happy, eager hunter/butcher out there. (But seriously, how do they find and get hold of a dead deer's head?!)
/r/PurplePillDebate16/10/23 12:53 AM
1

I am a bit concerned about the fact that so many men covertly believe the manosphere stuff If it helps, most that is online, and it comes from a vocal minority. None of my male cousins or brothers heard or read such content (as far as I know). But things might be worse in the US/UK, since I'm not from those countries.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/10/23 12:50 AM
5

It's not exactly an urban phenomenon (tho it also contributes a fair amount). It's more that, as economic conditions and opportunities for women get better, wider, and more inclusive, so the appetite/desire for better men grows, with no interest in backsliding (as in, no interest in 'settling'). Kinda like the Tocqueville effect. If there are no better men, might as well remain single, from their POV.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/10/23 12:35 AM
2

The only thing I'm optimistic about is women becoming more accepting of men who cry and men who are virgins. At the same time, men becoming more accepting of women who earn more than them (who are, in turn, accepting of him making less money than her), and more skillfull at domestic tasks/chores. But it'll take a few decades more, and I won't live to see that fulfilled utopia. I'm too old to have my first time. At least, I'm beginning to see some genuine acceptance of men with issues like depres…
/r/PurplePillDebate16/10/23 12:30 AM
5

You seem to be a bit vague about it, which is uncharacteristic of you, imo. You (along with some other women here) have a reputation for pointing you to men exactly what they say, think and do wrong, on most threads. (Fuck, I shouldn't be spending time here, I'm beginning to memorize usernames)
/r/PurplePillDebate16/10/23 12:27 AM
2

Well, if one is castrated, one can't have penetrative sex (at least, the comfortable kind). But I may be conjuring a more bloodier, medieval version of the word 'castrated' (kinda like what happened to Peter Abelard, back in the day). As for vasectomies being not foolproof, what's the percentage that makes it not foolproof? If it's less than 1% (and I'm being charitable here, for lack of a better word; I think it's a very very small percentage), then it's just a case of outliers. I also suspect …
/r/PurplePillDebate16/10/23 12:04 AM
3

castration Vasectomy is the correct word. Castration is a much more, erm... painful ordeal.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/10/23 11:13 PM
–

I'd say it's an issue that hits/damages men earlier, and women later in life, and that there are greater numbers of lonely men, compared to lonely women. Women can make friends more easily than men, in my view (assuming there isn't a particularly intense mental illness - which is massive handicap for both men and women). And more women tend to have some form of companionship (family, husband, close female friendships for life) or greater ease in inserting themselves in social/local communities, …
/r/PurplePillDebate13/10/23 04:39 PM
–

Don't know about a single movie that incorporates all of that, but there are plenty of horror movies (especially in the 50's/60's/70's) exploring at least some of those themes.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/10/23 04:32 PM
–

You can go to a cafe and ask for tea. Still a coffee date, but it doesn't have involve drinking actual coffee. More seriously, yeah, activity dates (e.g. minigolf, book fairs, even pool/billiards, if someone is into it) are a good choice, if you prefer to keep occupied as a way of relaxing.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/10/23 04:29 PM
–

I don't think it's wrong either. My one dating experience was precisely composed of coffee dates, and they were great, fairly chill (especially from the second outing onwards).
/r/PurplePillDebate13/10/23 03:12 PM
–

Some people probably don't like its low-stakes nature, or think the person inviting for a coffee date is cheap and/or broke. They would rather have a lavish date as a supposed sign of commitment or strong intentions. What heavy materialism/consumerism/hyper-individualism (scratch out whatever doesn't fit) does to a mf.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/10/23 03:07 PM
–

Facts. My one experience of dating (which were coffee outings, with one woman) is a testament to that.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/10/23 03:04 PM
–

If one's male friends get married and have kids (which takes time away from non-familial social commitments), they can very well run out of friends, so to speak (and it's not always easy or there isn't enough free time to make friends, for the ones who work long hours). Then there are friends who migrate to other countries (most Americans can't relate to this, but half of my uni friends migrated to other countries in the wake of the Eurozone crisis, years ago, and don't plan on returning), which…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/10/23 03:01 PM
–

They can be all that. The giveaway here is that women don't generally write the way OP wrote. Too cold, too clinical, and using jargon that is more often seen in male online circles. Which makes it a little bit sus. (Edit: If the OP is trans, then the situation is different/complex)
/r/PurplePillDebate13/10/23 02:42 PM
–

Is this a pasta that I'm not aware of?
/r/PurplePillDebate13/10/23 01:22 PM
3

Considering the way you wrote, the answers you're giving, and all that, I can't help but wonder if you're a 'pick me' or if you're just larping. Or if you're painting men with the same brush, when reading between the lines, by stating that men and women can't be friends (unless, in your own words, they're gay and/or landwhales - and 'landwhales' is a word more often used by men in regards to women who are fat, and they use that word very vocally, very loudly) and that men are all horny fucks who…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/10/23 12:58 AM
1

To "shame" a virgin man is as illogical as "shaming" someone for not doing drugs. Doesn't prevent people from doing it. Furthermore, unlike 'not doing drugs', some (both men and women) think a virgin man is immature, incapable, a loser, or not a 'real man'. They think something is wrong with him, consciously or subconsciouly (many people do have such subsconscious judgemental thoughts, they just don't say it out loud).
/r/PurplePillDebate12/10/23 01:47 PM
1

They can relate to usage of fleshlights being similar to dildos. If women do it, men are allowed to. There are some women out there who have double standards about those, funnily enough (dildos being fair and fine, fleshlights being gross and icky).
/r/PurplePillDebate12/10/23 01:44 PM
3

But she didn’t wanna have sex with me again Considering her age when you had sex with her, and the time distance between both events you mentioned, maybe she was entering menopause (since menopause generally decimates sexual desire in women)?
/r/PurplePillDebate11/10/23 11:10 PM
5

I'd say men on account of: Being here in greater numbers. Greater diversity of opinions through sheer numbers; Due to the fewer amount of women here, there is often a tacit understanding in being on the defensive and to close ranks (which is understandable, considering some posts and comments by men which are... more than merely negative); Women tend to talk gender issues stuff in a more disagreeable way either IRL or in dedicated subs where they are clearly the majority.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/10/23 01:20 AM
1

Alright, fair point. Sorry.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/10/23 07:26 PM
2

Americans also have their own outstanding, hyper-aggressive, hyper toxic machismo ("man up, don't be a pussy, don't cry, only girls cry, a man should always be dominant, women should always be submissive and agreeable, a virgin man is not a real man"). And machismo has been declining in my part of the world (European, culturally Mediterranean) by leaps and bounds, compared to the days of a certain dictatorship. You can't pull a 'whataboutism' on my comment, in order to get away from scrutinizing…
/r/PurplePillDebate10/10/23 07:05 PM
1

But there's a difference, surely you agree with it? And that we should both act and convince people to pursue the positive leisure time and good relationships, not the negative drama-making that damages or destroys relationships?
/r/PurplePillDebate10/10/23 07:00 PM
1

There's a difference between pursuing interesting/exciting hobbies, or going out to bars to have a good time (positive), and causing petty drama shit in relationship or dating, backstabbing, gossiping, violence (negative). OP was focusing on the latter. Exciting doesn't have to mean reckless or destructive, and comfortable doesn't have to mean boring or stagnation. There is a balance, and not many people here seem to understand OP's questions and goals.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/10/23 06:40 PM
4

I think the worst part is that some guys are so tall, I've gotten elbows in the face at the club because they'd move their arm back a bit and I'm behind them in the bonk-zone. A lot of guys are crazy tall here. Ouch, yeah, that truly sucks. I hope at least they apologized to you, once they realized it (well, the ones that did). Look on the bright side of life, tho: you can get a man (your man, in case you're in a relationship) to get all the necessary items from the top shelves xD
/r/PurplePillDebate10/10/23 05:22 PM
3

I think both things exist (particularly in places where extended families are not the norm and children are kicked out of the house as soon as they turn 18, such as certain areas of WASP America - this is my view, as someone who's looking from the outside). But you did well to point out the damaging effects of social media and pop culture at large.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/10/23 05:10 PM
2

Congratulations are in order, then. Best wishes for your relationship with him (soon to be living) in your country! :)
/r/PurplePillDebate10/10/23 05:05 PM
3

xD Hey, people nowadays enter into relationships with people from other countries. It doesn't have to enter into the financial power dynamic that 'passport' discourse often has (and I don't want anything to do with that sort of thing). I did suggest women to go to countries where men are less aggressive on average (from what I read, countries like South Korea and the US seem to have a very aggressive masculinity that makes women fear for their safety constantly, compared to other countries). (I …
/r/PurplePillDebate10/10/23 05:02 PM
4

people over 20 You'd be surprised how people (of both genders) in their 30's/40's/50's and beyond can act sometimes. Just look at the amount of gossiping and backstabbing and toxicness in some companies/corporations, or families in the midst of internecine conflict. Old age by numbers is not a certificate of maturity. Just look at a lot of populist politicians (and the number of voters they attract), these days.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/10/23 04:40 PM
2

There's a difference between capabilities and not wanting drama to happen in the first place. One can handle drama, but also might dislike drama. Kinda like Indiana Jones: he dealt with snakes, but he still doesn't like them, at all, and would be perfectly content by not meeting them ever again.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/10/23 04:33 PM
1

Wealthy is the key word for those cases, yes. But the woman in question we're talking about is not wealthy, and might not want to be wealthy. Only comfortable, or reasonably well-off, without accruing massive fortunes. (And trust fund kids will still benefit in the future and some will take over their parents' businesses / investments. Capital is mostly inherited, not attained, unlike whatever stupid 'American dream' people like to believe)
/r/PurplePillDebate10/10/23 04:30 PM
3

Yes, but OP is talking about conflict (presumably the pissy/petty type). Doing exciting things (e.g. bungee jumping, dancing spontaneously) isn't drama (at least, things which don't harm others). You can live in the moment, while not bothering your partner in a negative/exhausting way. Don't build conflict for the sake of conflict, don't bait your partner into a verbal spat, just because you're bored out of your ass (general 'you'). There are so many things one can occupy oneself with nowadays, …
/r/PurplePillDebate10/10/23 04:23 PM
1

Is it? Cultural taste is different from physical attraction, in terms of their properties (the former being social constructions, the latter being a mixture of nature and nurture), sure. But are you really surprised people can like very different traits across a whole swath of people? Both men and women have a certain variety/diversity of traits they consider attractive, which may be more or less wider. If you want a more fitting analogy, consider people who are attracted to people of various et…
/r/PurplePillDebate10/10/23 04:18 PM
2

Hence why I suggested going far away from a country with major average heights. A country such as yours is not ideal for people who are into people who are not tall af. (My condolences, considering where you are from, btw)
/r/PurplePillDebate10/10/23 04:13 PM
1

Depends, maybe one could like her partner to pay her bills, in order for her to build her own financial nest for her old age a bit faster (having to pay the bills would slow her long-term goals down). She's still independent, but in a strategic, roundabout way. Many old women passed that piece of wisdom to their descendents. "Don't depend on a man, build a financial back-up plan for yourself, keep reaping the benefits." (Can't blame them, considering the recent generational gains and empowerment…
/r/PurplePillDebate10/10/23 04:08 PM
3

"manic pixie dream girl" Isn't that concept more about a woman lifting him out of his boredom/stagnation/depression, and getting very invested in him (to the point of neglecting her own wants and needs)? Less about drama/conflict, more about excitement in the 'joie de vivre' (joy of living) sense. Living in the moment, essentially.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/10/23 04:03 PM
3

On twitter in my generation toxic love is applauded. Couples like Lil Durk and India are seen as goals, stuff like “if it ain’t toxic I don’t want it” Social media was a mistake.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/10/23 04:02 PM
1

Just because economic independence is attained, it doesn't hurt to accept some extra benefits. Kinda like massive corporations who have major amounts of capital, yet are perfectly fine with collecting subsidies from the state (even if some of said corporations/companies' leaders talk shit about the state, while collecting the benefits on the side). (It could also be a form of benevolent/non-malicious hypocrisy, but others can make of it what they will)
/r/PurplePillDebate10/10/23 03:17 PM
3

maybe a 5'1" emaciated man couldn't, but where would you even find one To countries where men are shorter on average? Ones that are very, very distant, height-wise, from, say, the Netherlands.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/10/23 02:47 PM
2

Same way there are people who like different genres of music (sometimes very different ones), people can find different sets of eyes attractive (sometimes very different ones, yes).
/r/PurplePillDebate10/10/23 09:49 AM
5

It's enjoyable/rewarding if there's mutual engagement and interest - which was my one time dating experience with a woman, years ago (pre-OLD, with a friend of ours introducing me to her). I paid on the first one, she paid on the second, the first one was in my city, the second was in hers, and we both suggested places to go (there were also a couple of dates more, and, although nothing came of it, we became friends). That's proper, mutually enjoyable dating, in my view. But I definitely wouldn'…
/r/PurplePillDebate10/10/23 09:35 AM
3

Who considers shirtless men to be professional? Professional boxers? Athletic swimmers? The latter are generally very professional in their competitions. Sorry, had to say ît.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/10/23 08:41 PM
6

Do most guys even have high paying jobs and careers with luxury apartments? Not in my country. And I assume that's the case in many other countries, since most guys in that age bracket you mentioned are beginning their careers, but are not firmly established in their given industry yet. Lay off Tinder, it probably fosters misery and loss of self-esteem. Or social media in general, since it generated too much 'compare-itis' and warped perceptions of reality.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/10/23 02:32 AM
–

I'm not sure it's just for furries. There are non-furries who apparently still enjoy cat ears and a cat tail, without necessarily going the full treatment, or having any major furry inclinations. It might just be a fetish thing. (u/InjectAdrenochrome, this is a quick response to your comment below, as well)
/r/PurplePillDebate07/10/23 02:49 AM
–

Roll as you like, you do you, no problem. I know I wouldn't want to wear such things, imho. I would feel uncomfortable. (I also don't have dark brown eyes, mine are blue-ish/green-ish, but I digress)
/r/PurplePillDebate07/10/23 02:36 AM
–

I'd quickly ask why did one spend money on those things, beyond just finding them a turn-off. Another Major Turn-off, in fact.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/10/23 02:34 AM
–

I'm a guy who has never liked animal-associated outfits/clothes/props. Doesn't matter how good or sexy they make a woman look, in the eyes of some. I dislike them, for some reason. Bunny outfits? Turn-off (and the oversized bunny ears look a bit too silly, to boot). Leopard/cougar/tiger-printed sexy clothing? Turn-off. Cat or dog ears/props? Major Turn-off. I wonder why.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/10/23 02:10 AM
1

Yeah, a lot of advice here about "just form a new social circle, bro" is often done by extroverts and social butterfly types. For them it is as natural as drinking water, but for others... I also don't know how said groups of friends are actually friends, but this might be a coconut vs. peach analogy. A lot of friendships in the US, from an outsider's pov like mine, seem to be soft on the outside, but hard on the outside - like a peach - meaning said US friendships are often superficial and base…
/r/PurplePillDebate07/10/23 01:33 AM
2

and it's mostly social media that has conditioned us into this behavior to such a strong extent. Pop culture at large predates social media and had already spoken a lot in favour of players who play with women to affirm their masculinity (see: a massive chunk of rock & hip-hop musics, or hollywood movies, to name two major examples).
/r/PurplePillDebate07/10/23 01:02 AM
1

IRL, that is true. But there seems to be a narrower focus by some of the women who are power users here in this space. I also wrote the above because I don't come from an Anglosphere country. And most users here are American or British, so, I can't help but shake at the narrow social-cultural customs of, say, the US. Maybe it's because they're very isolated (particularly in the suburbs) and have no extended families? Or widespread lack of empathy or basic manners? Or hyper-individualistic attitu…
/r/PurplePillDebate06/10/23 09:18 PM
2

I would like to read the answers to your questions. As a man, from what I gathered in this sub, is that the women don't want you to approach unless you're a friend of a friend of hers and has been socially validated. Also: Don't try to become part of their social groups (because they will think you're manipulating your way into - sometimes, this fear/concern is justified/valid, sometimes, it's not), for the sake of getting to interact with her. Don't try to approach as a stranger or even as an a…
/r/PurplePillDebate06/10/23 08:15 PM
–

patriarchal idea that men have to pursue women. A good way to end this idea might be to encourage women to make the first move (including verbal first moves), rather than expecting men to do all the approaches. Outside of dating contexts, people do need to focus more on mixed gender friendships (while at the same time, if romantic feelings do arise, it's ok to take a break or even end a friendship on a peaceful note and move on elsewhere). I managed to have those kinds of friendships, despite be…
/r/PurplePillDebate03/10/23 08:17 PM
3

Avoid at all costs that he becomes a nerd. So, you will repress his scientific curiosity, or him being heavily interested in a given hobby or interest? If so, I can see that causing friction and resentment in the future.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/10/23 06:38 PM
2

inferior monopolistic product Sounds like major corporations who don't want competition and want to consolidate their market share, while continuing to offer sub-par services. Ok, it's an oligopoly, but you get the parallel. In other words, t's more like the late stage capitalism of today aka, the status quo at the present. Sounds like most capitalists are the biggest comrades of all to themselves, while fucking over the 'serfs' they claim to liberate/empower. If capitalists were truly capitalis…
/r/PurplePillDebate03/10/23 05:12 PM
3

I thought women don't want (as a general rule), much less need, men in their early 30's who are broke, virgin or both. Sounds like the older gen z women could date men who are the same age as them, if younger millennials are such a sore eye for them. After all, gen z are supposed to be better than millennials in multiple ways, so, I'm not sure why would gen z people be romantically interested in millennials, or why would gen z women be pitied for such circumstances, when they can either: a) pair…
/r/PurplePillDebate03/10/23 03:43 PM
–

Much, much easier to seduce men online, literally just need to show a leg. That probably only works for thirsty or desperate men.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/10/23 07:42 PM
5

I don't think many women were genuinely interested in male suitors back then (especially in pre-industrial times). They got married out of necessity or due to cultural norms (which have now mostly faded away). Now that they're financially independent, they can be happy single. Many women have shown such confidence, and need (or even want) no man.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/10/23 05:34 PM
1

Not the women whose works I'm into. And, leaving aside the historical background of authoring under male pen names, nowadays, women are strong and independent in their authorship (Agatha Christie paved the way), and women's artistic independence is ever more celebrated with each passing year, even in pop music, when that area is all about loads of producers and/or musicians collaborating), so, if they do take on a male pen name, it's because they wanted to so (to name one - somewhat infamous - e…
/r/PurplePillDebate02/10/23 05:24 PM
3

30's, M: No, it's very alienating and bound to generate emotional instability. In fact, I want nothing to do with AI when it comes to socializing. Relevant movie.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/10/23 05:15 PM
5

media, literature, content, art, This feels like bait, but maybe it's because I have a fair share of women artists/musicians I'm into (e.g. Kate Bush, Björk, Kelly Lee Owens, to name a few). Or it's because I'm a bit more into the artistic stuff in general, compared to some other men here on this wretched sub.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/10/23 02:16 PM
1

Clearly you haven't seen Helen Mirren when she was younger ;)
/r/PurplePillDebate01/10/23 01:10 PM
0

I was responding to that one specific claim ("there is no famous actress [whatsoever]"). No need to tell me about the general picture, I'm aware of it.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/10/23 04:27 AM
3

You're not wrong, but I disagree with this: Men who don’t get women become increasingly angry & are more prone to violence This is more often related to cultural/social norms. Because I can assure you men are far more aggressive in the US compared to, say, my country (and the ones who are aggressive often end up in the headlines for... domestic violence - so, they have a partner, who they treat badly. 'Inkwels' in the current definition are very anomalous here). Partly due to cultural pressures …
/r/PurplePillDebate30/09/23 08:29 PM
8

There is no famous actress at Robert Deniros age who is cast as a lead. Helen Mirren is only 2 years younger than De Niro and Meryl Streep is 6 years younger than him, and they are strong actors in their own right who get lead roles (especially Streep, who accumulates Oscar and Golden Globe nominations like one accumulates shoes or socks).
/r/PurplePillDebate30/09/23 08:08 PM
6

Getting rejected hurts, yes. Men are the ones who get rejected the most, on account of having to be the ones who are socially conditioned to make the first moves and verbal approaches. For different reasons, both genders are hurt, these days. But I'm not sure why it has to hurt, if the guy only wants sex? If you're looking for a relationship, presumably a guy that would only like having sex with you becomes an immediate turn-off (so, you can write him off). Which makes it easier to move on. And,…
/r/PurplePillDebate30/09/23 02:17 PM
2

Is it surprising that when people tell these men that no one cares about that they start to experience loneliness. And depression. And/or suicidal thoughts. Or they turn self-destructive through hard drugs and/or alcohol.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/09/23 01:11 PM
4

how do you expect women to do anything? One of the users here shared a story of how his women friends openly laughed at him being raped by a woman. Maybe call out women who display such attitudes?
/r/PurplePillDebate29/09/23 10:05 PM
3

It’s definitely true that men trivialize sexual violence against men You'd be surprised by the amount of women out there who also trivialize it ("all men think and want sex all the time" and other such 'rationalizations'/stereotypes are in the back of their minds, to name one example), or outright mock it. You'll find many people from both genders being unempathetic POS. No gender is virtuous.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/09/23 09:58 PM
7

Simply forcefully pushing a woman And what makes you think said woman won't convince others that he was violent or physically aggressive towards her, or falsely report to the police, who will then promptly arrest the man who merely pushed a woman away? Those specific kinds of women can lie and twist and do puppy dog eyes or falsely cry, to get anyone on her side. Or spread malicious gossip, or get the social / work circle to shun/ostracize the guy. Don't underestimate the lengths to which a scor…
/r/PurplePillDebate29/09/23 09:51 PM
–

How come hope is a negative aspect, and paired alongside grief or sadness? And what's wrong with feeling grief or sadness at a given point in time?
/r/PurplePillDebate29/09/23 01:43 PM
1

How is saying you want to do something a crime? I didn't say it was a crime. I said it was a threat (which can be used to intimidate, coerce, and so forth. And, in some cases, ends up in court as evidence of intent before said actual crime occurs, which turns it into a premeditated crime). How you would feel if a big guy went up to you and said "I want to kill you"? Surely you would understand it was a threat, not an offer of friendship. At the very least, you would feel tense. If your female fr…
/r/PurplePillDebate29/09/23 01:11 PM
6

Yup, lack of interest in a specific woman also happens. Nothing wrong with the woman or the man, there just wasn't mutual chemistry/attraction/whatever. Sometimes, the timing isn't right, or the attraction isn't there in the first place.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/09/23 12:43 AM
3

Yeah, benevolent sexism sadly pervades everything, from jobs to dating (which paradoxically both benefits women, but also leaves them unsatisfied in some area or another). I don't mind feminists who do walk the walk, in fact I respect them (from some women in my family to some friends of mine). But ones who make a loud show of calling themselves feminists, but then take advantage of patriarchy's little benefits, and don't own up to the fact or don't/can't question it? Yeah, I don't have patience…
/r/PurplePillDebate29/09/23 12:36 AM
0

One could argue that they are already approaching the men whom they find attractive first. Only verbal approaches should count as true approaches, imho. Women, like men, have tongues. Time for them to use said tongues and talk, times are changing.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/09/23 12:05 AM
1

but we also know that it is because men are desperate for attention and sex. Most men who are approached actually tend to be successful (if not romantically, then professionally or have many good things going on in their personal lives, so, desperation doesn't exist in them.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/09/23 11:48 PM
3

We could ask men out, we have the gumption, we deal with rejections And yet, many don't. And there are probably women out there who were never rejected who suffered absolute meltdowns. 'Could' doesn't mean 'will'. False bragging is a bad look for anyone, man or woman. most women are not as socially inept as men. And yet, they can't spit it out, can't ask men out on a date, can't communicate intentions directly (which would be more helpful for both genders). Don't demand men to verbally approach,…
/r/PurplePillDebate28/09/23 11:30 PM
3

Eye contact and smiles don't mean much. In fact, eye contact is meaningless, since most people can do eye contact when talking to people in any setting. A woman who verbally asks a man out is 10 times braver and more empowered than subtle cowards who smile for a second.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/09/23 11:23 PM
2

Sometimes, what may seem sad at first turns out to be liberating. Especially if they don't hide into a cocoon and continue to live life and hang out with family and/or friends.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/09/23 10:55 PM
26

There are men who have made peace or are becoming content with the fact that they're not gonna get a relationship (much less sex). You can't always get what you want and all that. There are men who try their hardest to improve themselves, but that doesn't mean anything's gonna happen (and, besides, improving is for oneself, not to get relationships, women see through that). There are men who will commit suicide as society becomes more and more atomized. How can men even get relationships in the …
/r/PurplePillDebate28/09/23 10:38 PM
4

YOU GOT NOTHING TO LOOSE!! Women got nothing to lose in asking men out on dates as well. Especially assertive women in regards to shy men out there.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/09/23 10:32 PM
7

Maybe you've had, but they didn't tell you they were virgins (since virgin men are often shamed or, as this thread shows, considered less worthy). More and more men are virgins these days, compared to previous decades. Time to do some... erm, market research. ;)
/r/PurplePillDebate28/09/23 09:35 PM
3

Unless the man in question is alone. Some prudence / physical distance is recommended in those cases, and keep a cordial 110% professional interaction.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/09/23 08:36 PM
11

eye contact Doesn't mean anything. Most people are capable of eye contact, it doesn't stand out.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/09/23 08:27 PM
8

Men were aggressive telling you they want to r*** you was just another (creepy) way to say they were really turned on by you Considering rape is a crime, why the hell would anyone interpret a "I want to rape you" as anything but a threat?! It was just something that happened, and women knew it was a thing and it happened to all of us but nobody is traumatized. How do you know? Have you asked all the people who were groped, and came to that conclusion?
/r/PurplePillDebate28/09/23 08:10 PM
2

I'm talking about the actual definition of an incel though, involuntarily celibate. That definition is long gone. I want nothing to do with guys - in the same predicament as mine - who harbour violent wishes.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/09/23 08:04 PM
–

Are you saying women should get lashes or tortured? Or are you doing a 'the West is inherently superior' thing?
/r/PurplePillDebate28/09/23 05:37 PM
1

Did you break up or felt disgusted by his sensitivity, or were unwilling to comfort or hug him?
/r/PurplePillDebate28/09/23 05:35 PM
1

That is very much true outside the West. Look at Iran or Saudi Arabia for examples (e.g. getting lashes and other punishments/tortures).
/r/PurplePillDebate28/09/23 05:32 PM
1

Women's interests aren't usually forced into everyone's line of sight via multi-million dollar production efforts and is usually tucked away behind closed doors. (Leaving aside the word 'forced') Explain Twilight, then. It is true that it is less mainstream, but it's not forced out. Most romances nowadays are written by women for women (I only have to go to the supermarket aisle to find such books written by women). You are winning, and it's no longer underground.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/09/23 05:27 PM
1

This is also why directing men with mental health issues to talking therapy isn’t necessarily the wonder cure modern society thinks it will be. Men don’t derive much utility from simply talking about issues. They’re taught to solve issues. My psychologist did both things (me and him being men, and of the same age, to boot), and guided me to make a set of objectives/goals to orientate myself. I haven't fulfilled all objectives/goals, but, compared to some years ago, I made some noticeable improve…
/r/PurplePillDebate28/09/23 05:22 PM
6

shit ton of women who prefer men with minimal social media presence What about no social media presence? Some (many?) of them consider it a red flag, thinking he's got something to hide (which is ironic, considering most people's social media is curated, which means they, in turn, are hiding the flaws and the awkward moments).
/r/PurplePillDebate28/09/23 11:20 AM
3

If he's low libido, there might be other reasons that are plain and simply not porn. Maybe he was born that way, or maybe he's suffering from depression (or taking Zoloft pills to help treat it, since they do lower the libido - speaking from personal experience).
/r/PurplePillDebate27/09/23 05:19 PM
–

That's fair. I would say that I know guys that did went to watch Barbie without being pressured by girlfriends (most of them don't have gfs). Some liked it a lot, others were meh about it, others thought there were some good points and some less good points. For such an outstanding smash hit, I don't think it was just couples watching it. It actually reached a broader audience, believe it or not.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/09/23 04:33 PM
–

There are plenty of well-ajusted people who watch some kind of anime or read some kind of manga. I mean, you're having the same prejudice that blokes have towards pop music listened by women (from T-Swift to boy bands and beyond). Just in an inverted form (think the gender-flipped form of the cheerleader who looked down on nerd girls back in American high schools). Let's pick this from a different angle. Pick C. S. Lewis' quote from one his essays: Critics who treat adult as a term of approval, …
/r/PurplePillDebate27/09/23 02:27 PM
–

Do you think the same about Disney/Pixar works? I can't persuade you to drop your prejudice, but I hope you're at least tolerant towards people (of both genders, and many ages) who like animation. If you're judgemental towards people for liking animation works, you can shove said judgements where the sun don't shine. With all due respect ;)
/r/PurplePillDebate27/09/23 01:26 PM
–

men want hot pop singers like Ariana Grande and Dua Lipa and women want hot celebrities in movies, like Jason Mamoa and Henry Cavil. It seems to me lots of women are not really attracted to Mamoa or Cavill (men assume/think women are interested in those guys, but it's not the case, apart from maybe a minority of women), and most men aren't interested in Ariana Grande or Dua Lipa, or even lack of interest in American pop music these days (most of the aforementioned singers' audience is basically …
/r/PurplePillDebate27/09/23 01:52 AM
–

The former, with a mix of thinking that American/British/Anglosphere dating is a bit fucked-up. (I assume most people here are American, in particular, until shown otherwise) In regards to the former, I do think people here (and I'm including both genders) need to change their view a bit, if only to build some bridges of empathy. And to diminish the "war of the sexes" atmosphere here that gets going here, sometimes. It's not a noble thing, I just thinking broadening horizons (and again, this app…
/r/PurplePillDebate27/09/23 01:34 AM
2

Why would gay men watch women put dildos up their asses?! They don't want that, they will want gay porn.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/09/23 11:48 PM
1

Anime is childish imo. Sorry not sorry, but all animations are generally silly. Can you watch Grave of the Fireflies and get back to me on that?
/r/PurplePillDebate26/09/23 11:39 PM
2

Interacting when it's in the romantic/dating/asking out realm: Being shared on social media (regardless of how the interaction goes). Or even just getting photographed or filmed without my consent during said interaction. This is the worst case scenario, since there are better digital protections in the EU (that I'm part of), compared to the US, where there are many with a compulsion to film or photograph others and spread it around. Spreading gossip with her friends (that tends to spread like w…
/r/PurplePillDebate26/09/23 10:48 PM
1

That doesn't mean they like one over the other. Are you saying all bi people are 50/50 in regards to liking both genders? This is what I was disagreeing with. There are absolutely bi people who like more people from one of the genders, compared to the other. Yes, there's not a hierarchy (I presume that's what you meant by "over the other"), where one gender is put above the other, but the numbers paint a picture that is more relevant in regards to who they date and/or have sex with.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/09/23 07:27 PM
1

I admit my example wasn't the best. That case was an outlier filled with traumatic experiences. I'll remove it. But I still stand by my general perception, and what I was generally taught (that bi people come in various different flavours).
/r/PurplePillDebate26/09/23 07:19 PM
1

Looking from the outside, it seems to me there are many flavours of bi. Yours is one, but there are bi people out there who have different ways of understanding their own bi-ness (or merely having different sexual experiences/relationships). Some are 50/50, others have more of a preference for a given gender, when compared to the other. There is no sole flavour of bi (which is arguably good, because variety or something). (Edited after the conversation below)
/r/PurplePillDebate26/09/23 06:42 PM
3

Introverts are just as much as part of society as extroverts. Introverts aren't hermits.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/09/23 05:33 PM
2

she normally doesn’t call. She waits for me to call her. I’m like…why don’t you say anything lmao?? She’s afraid I won’t wanna talk. That sounds more like a her problem (no offense intended, btw), and less like gender norm pains. In my country, if women want to call and talk, they will, by and large, call and talk.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/09/23 03:07 AM
12

Women aren't lying, but what they perceive as 'nice' is very different from the way 'nice' is perceived by men, trait-wise. Keep that in mind. That being said, guys who are extremely polite, or are passive, or are overly (some might say genuinely) considerate of women's boundaries and personalities, are usually not considered to be attractive or charismatic.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/09/23 02:32 AM
1

What's with the quotes?...
/r/PurplePillDebate21/09/23 02:43 PM
–

Because you can't demand of others what you wouldn't demand of yourself.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/09/23 08:08 PM
1

Do you think people will be arsed to qualify their algorithm, though? Younger generations do need to be taught critical thinking and how to make an argument (a proper argument, not the hyperbolic "destroy with logic und reason" type of argument which is made) and counter-argue. And even more than that, to be capable of thinking in private, with lots of self-examination and/or self-criticism. Easier said than done, obviously, considering how disrespected serious education tends to be, what with t…
/r/PurplePillDebate20/09/23 04:54 PM
1

I'd say critical thinking is necessary, regardless of age. Indeed, younger folks need to stop viewing reality through the lens of T|tok, but there are also plenty of boomers who believe every false thing on Facebook. Indeed, loud vocal minorities do have a lot of sway, in this day and age. But if more critical thinking is developed, there will less ground for both these minorities and for the competing elites that pit them in culture wars that polarize society (and benefit said elites).
/r/PurplePillDebate20/09/23 04:52 PM
2

Lmao, they have the right to think about it, sure!
/r/PurplePillDebate20/09/23 04:48 PM
1

The point itself is often exaggerated, or is done from a very specific cultural background. On Youtube, there seem to be more men exaggerating, on T-T, there seem to be more women exaggerating. I give no credit to either gender (and both have people who are more capable of getting to the point faster - but not necessarily better). One could also argue women have more platforms than T-T to speak on (one example from old-to-digital media is the Guardian in the UK, which is unabashedly pro-feminist…
/r/PurplePillDebate20/09/23 04:47 PM
1

Do most guys just end up sucking it up and just going for an experienced woman There's no general rule to men in that area. Some prefer younger and/or virgin, some older and/or experienced, some on roughly the same level of sexual history. Looking back at all the women I ever had a crush or felt in love with, the vast majority were older than me (either by age or, when the age was roughly the same, in terms of mentality). In fact, the one woman I went out on dates with, years ago, is older than …
/r/PurplePillDebate19/09/23 10:21 PM
3

every person is unique That is true in advanced stages of dating and/or established relationships. But in the early stages? A lot of people do go for the same or similar methods, otherwise they're perceived as being 'weird' (in the negative sense of the word) or 'too much all at once'.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/09/23 08:44 PM
4

Thank you for your sincerity, just don't complain if people be themselves and tell you to fuck off with your impatient, uncharitable attitude. If you're so impatient, why are you here in the first place?
/r/PurplePillDebate19/09/23 08:21 PM
2

It used to quite a big narrative amongst people. So much so there is even a historiography term.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/09/23 05:20 PM
6

This gen has vastly more options than all prior gens in finding a partner for sex and dating, yet they’re not having sex and a huge proportion of them in relationships are reporting being unhappy Paradox of choice at work (combined with heightened expectations that weren't common a couple of decades ago, presumably).
/r/PurplePillDebate19/09/23 04:49 PM
8

The number of women who think their gay friend won't bang 'em Bi friend, presumably, no? I can't see how a 100% gay man would be banging a woman, unless it's for underlying non-sexual motives.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/09/23 04:38 PM
4

i’ve also witnessed many young women proudly talk about the fact that they are virgins If gen z men did the same, I doubt they'be accepted for that (or even getting as many t|ktok upvotes/shares/views). But there's something positive from turning away from cheap hookup culture and embracing deep, intimate relationships. Perhaps the same acceptance will be extended to gen z (and future generational) men, as the years go by. Best of luck to both of them, in their generation (the shaming is probabl…
/r/PurplePillDebate19/09/23 03:12 PM
2

Isn't there a historical split, within feminist circles, between liberal feminists and marxist feminists? Or upper-middle / upper class women vs. working class women? Looking at it from the outside (since I'm not American) I don't see in the US, for example, liberal, upper-middle / upper class women from the coastal cities promoting the interests of working class women from the deep south.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/09/23 06:53 PM
8

You're not wrong, however: but I don't get what you expect women to do Some random thoughts: call out any woman in your social circles who shame men for showing emotions that are not anger (especially ones which involve crying and/or grieving for one's struggles, pains, or relatives' deaths (friends' deaths as well), and even more so when they're in relationships with said men), and walk the walk about genuinely being receptive and supportive towards men opening up, not just talk the talk. Quest…
/r/PurplePillDebate18/09/23 03:37 PM
1

Evidence for the effectiveness of the euphemism treadmill in reducing negative connotations is mixed. Some studies have suggested that it can be successful in the short term, as new euphemisms may initially shift public perception and reduce stigma associated with certain topics. However, over time, these euphemisms can become associated with the same negative attitudes or stereotypes as the original terms. This phenomenon is often referred to as "pejoration." Fair, didn't take into account. Kin…
/r/PurplePillDebate18/09/23 12:47 PM
2

?! Yikes, have a good day. Sorry that you think that way (sincerely, I have no idea why you even thought that sort of thing about me, did I offend in some way?), but I have no interest in becoming a fanatic.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/09/23 12:37 PM
–

Social experiments have their pros, but they also fail to account for the more marginal segments of society, or for uncontrollable factors, imo. They're indicative of some attitudes, but they don't capture the full societal/group picture.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/09/23 01:00 AM
1

I was under the impression that the reclaiming of the word movement had died out a bit (I remember when it was a big thing in the mid-2010's, but my memory might be a bit hazy)? Inexperienced would be somewhat fitting, but it still carries negative connotations (outside of love/sex, for example, I've never seen companies in my area being eager for "inexperienced" workers in their job offers), I think.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/09/23 12:56 AM
1

Why do you care? Same way people care about others not being target of slurs and being in emotional pain from it, I guess. Empathy and mutual support and all that, it's a good thing to pursue.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/09/23 12:51 AM
1

It doesn't even have to be marriage. Just close, deep, intimate romantic coupling would suffice. (Marriage carries a lot more responsibilities, which might be intimidating or not desired for some)
/r/PurplePillDebate18/09/23 12:49 AM
1

I like the word 'abstinent'. Not sure if involuntary is the case, since abstinence is generally a voluntary choice undertaken by someone, tho.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/09/23 12:46 AM
1

I also wish people were more laidback or neutral about it, but alas. Societal messages/peer pressures are a pain and a thorn in the ass.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/09/23 12:45 AM
3

Virgin doesn’t have any negative connotations though, it’s just a fact. Society and pop culture don't think the same way as you, I'm afraid. Virgin shaming (of men, and of women beyond a certain age) has been here for decades (if not centuries, in the case of non-ecclesiastical men). It would be nice if it was just a fact, otherwise people wouldn't have negative reactions or disgust. Or virgin characters being often a punchline in movies and sitcoms. "I'm not your training wheels" is a common at…
/r/PurplePillDebate18/09/23 12:41 AM
3

True, but in an evolutionary sense, people often sticked together in very exclusive groups, and, nowadays, people are more accepting of others, as well as more individualistic (for better or worse). There's often an invocation of 'but evolution!' (usually for their own particular view of the world), but then disregard the roles culture/social groups imprinted onto people at given points in history. Not all is nurture, but neither is it all nature/genetics. Times change, and so do desires and wan…
/r/PurplePillDebate17/09/23 11:04 PM
2

The people who used to be called 'retarded' (and had actual cognitive or mental disabilities) began to be called more neutral words and, alongside such a thing, began to be more accepted / less shunned, no? A change of words can sometimes be cosmetic, sure, but accompanying actions alongside said change of words can certainly be beneficial in the long run.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/09/23 10:58 PM
–

Snickering and laughing along is a dreadful attitude to have, I have no wish to defend them pricks. (Said pricks could be associates of his or folks who often see each other in the same spaces with the same wretched goals in mind, btw)
/r/PurplePillDebate17/09/23 10:55 PM
–

You haven't answered my question. I asked first and foremost about the perpetrator himself. And, besides, even if he was alone, who's to say he doesn't have his gang nearby, acting like chameleons in the scene, but ready to attack all the people from the entire group at separate times, once the initial conflict is over and the party in the public setting ends? I heard of a story in a nearby city in my country of a guy who stood up in one of those cases. You know what happened? The other guy got …
/r/PurplePillDebate17/09/23 10:27 PM
–

I remember watching this social experiment where a guy (who was part of the experiment so it wasn't real) very obviously slipped somethjng into a drink of a women participant, and every man around who saw it either did nothing, or worse, laughed about it. I have only one question: the guy who slipped it into the drink, how physically strong/imposing/intimidating was he? (And, as a sub-question: was he noticeably stronger/more imposing/more intimidating than the men around him?)
/r/PurplePillDebate17/09/23 08:52 PM
3

As a constant outlook? Sure. But OTT positivity brings a different sets of flaws with it. Not to mention all the superficial pleasantries (even though a lot of people hate each other, deep down, otherwise, hyper-individualism wouldn't be a thing) which often seem to pepper US people's socialization habits/customs. Moderation is key, at the end of the day.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/09/23 08:18 PM
6

I think the "ick" on TikTok is mostly in jest. For every 'joke' spread on social media, there's someone out there of the same gender ready to believe it unironically and incorporate it in their lives.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/09/23 05:03 PM
–

I can see asking every step of the way being a turn off. But a woman asking for consent at the beginning of a given action wouldn't be a problem. It can be quite hot, if said in a sexy way and/or by using playful language.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/09/23 02:46 PM
–

And feeling like a man can’t control himself around you But before that, a man still needs to control himself (i prefer the word 'contain'), in a subtle way. So, I assume some women like a man's resistance being slowly torn down when he's with her (others prefer a sudden loss of resistance, once she's fully comfortable with him). I don't think they like a man losing self-control from the start.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/09/23 02:09 PM
6

Because popular =/= quality. There's a lot of drivel that sells.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/09/23 12:53 AM
1

I love when men approach, show desire, etc and I will reward them in some way whether verbal appreciation or action (shrugs) That doesn't make you stand out, many women think and desire that. Now, a woman making the first move and verbally asking men out, now, that's a woman that stands out and doesn't demand of men what she wouldn't demand of herself. Even if I wasn't attracted to a woman who did that, I'd compliment on her approach, and encourage her to continue, as a way of letting her down g…
/r/PurplePillDebate15/09/23 07:38 PM
3

"Don't be a wuss" "Man up" "Don't cry, what are you, a girl/gay?" You have an optimistic view of people in regards to this subject matter. I don't. I've read and been told (both online and IRL) a lot of shit people make about others. People are not tolerant of men complaining. Close friends (and even then), family? Sure. Outside of that, they don't get crumbs of sympathy. (And no point in saying "it's men who do that", many a women out there hold some of the same gendered norms, just like men, e…
/r/PurplePillDebate15/09/23 07:34 PM
1

Men need to feel less shame about asking women what they want. Some women don't want to be asked that, they want the man to intuitively know from the get-go what she wants. If it was just about asking and receiving answers, there would be less misconceptions and myths going on. Some of your peers are more coy about things, and don't want to be direct (and all this traces back to the simple act of approaching and especially verbally asking a man out; women, by and large, don't want to ask this).
/r/PurplePillDebate15/09/23 05:30 PM
2

Do you masturbate? Why in the flying fuck would a man ask a woman that outside of a relationship? If you were a man and asked that, you'd be called a pervert, and rightfully so. Or at least you'd get side-eyed.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/09/23 05:19 PM
3

If they ever try to complain about this stuff they're screamed at to shut up fast Eh, men get the 'virgin/incel' type of insults (and to shut up as well) if they complain, so, a lot of people put up with it, regardless of gender.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/09/23 04:47 PM
5

I think that is a type of anger that is possible due to increasing economic satisfaction and/or social progress amongst women. Basically, this effect. After all, MeToo was a great victory for women, and they ain't gonna stop, as more and more cases come to the forefront, and dating dynamics are changing. On a personal level, I see more and more women showing happiness or feeling content with where they are in life. Some are childfree, some are career-focused and advancing further in the ladder, …
/r/PurplePillDebate15/09/23 03:25 PM
10

Not pursuing a (I presume you mean a corporate) career is an unattractive trait? Since when has the rat race become appealing?
/r/PurplePillDebate15/09/23 03:07 PM
9

Single women seem to be generally happier (particularly ones in their 20's/early 30's). Probably because they don't feel pressured to date/enter a relationship/marry by their family (in the West, at least). Well, that and increasing financial autonomy/independence.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/09/23 01:32 PM
1

I agree that taking care on a basic level (in my case, for example, I do some basic skin care due to having a dry, sometimes flakey skin) is necessary for dating and all that. I always shaved before I went out on a date, and I use a perfume/cologne from time to time in my daily life. However: Meanwhile women do a thousand things in their monthly routine to look nicer and more presentable. I will name some of the things: buying makeup, new clothes, doing their hair in the salon(cutting+dyeing the…
/r/PurplePillDebate15/09/23 01:27 AM
1

is is better for her to find a wealthy man to marry or is she better off being single, getting a job, investing, and retiring early? If the man is at the same or slightly above socioeconomic status, it's advantageous to her. She will still want men who earn the same to split household tasks. Being single is the best choice if the man does not contribute on household tasks, even when he wins and/or works less. I do wonder if stay-at-home husbands who take care of the house and/or the child(ren) w…
/r/PurplePillDebate14/09/23 11:18 PM
1

I don't think one can "evolve" into asexual / gay, anymore than gay people can "evolve" into being hetero. If sexuality was a choice, the pro-conversion therapy nutters would be proven right. (I did occasionally wish I was born asexual-aromantic, when I was in lower spirits, tbh)
/r/PurplePillDebate12/09/23 03:18 PM
1

If I return to a practicing Catholic way, sure. But such a return would have to happen because of genuine want, not for the sake of a woman (it would be a disservice to her, if she was genuinely into the faith, and I was not, for example). It has to come from within me.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/09/23 02:18 PM
1

I doubt that such a type exists in my area. The only women who think of me as handsome are taken or my mother's age, so, I'm shit out of luck in that department. (I'm also not attracted to goth aesthetics, and I'm no longer a young man - early 30's and all that, so, it's highly unlikely I'll find someone - and I've come to accept it - but I digress)
/r/PurplePillDebate12/09/23 09:34 AM
1

Well, much like women, men aren't a monolith. Besides, many who think and say all that about the importance of it tend to be in the range of late teenage to late 20's. I know, I used to have some of those same concerns (testosterone/hormones suck, sometimes). Now, in my early 30's, I'm "dropping out" of it. Time (and some focus on things other than sex) will treat them. It treated me to the point where I now feel neutral and at peace with it (I'll never find someone, but I got family, friends an…
/r/PurplePillDebate12/09/23 09:26 AM
1

It doesn't have to be a positive thing in your eyes. But it doesn't have to be a negative thing, either. It's something that just... is. No need to attach values/judgements to it.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/09/23 12:30 AM
1

Focusing on older more experienced women to learn the ropes is a great strategy. Aren't there many experienced women (both online and IRL) that dislike taking on that role of a 'teacher'? "I'm not your training wheels" and stuff like that... As for women that get off on taking men's virginities? As a virgin guy, that always felt like it was more fetishism/objectification rather than genuine interest. I'd feel really uncomfortable if an experienced woman had that attitude (regardless of being upf…
/r/PurplePillDebate12/09/23 12:11 AM
1

True, human nature sadly 'works' like that for many, sometimes.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/09/23 03:25 PM
6

The advice that is useful and applicable to today's times is to be listened to. The advice that is not useful and applicable is to be discarded. It's the best way of listening and thinking critically about it, regardless of the gender and age of the participants in question.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/09/23 03:47 PM
1

Thank you, I try my best to see where the different sides are coming from :)
/r/PurplePillDebate07/09/23 12:07 PM
4

Well, a lot of people want power, it's not just men. There's a reason the word "empowerment" exists in that form. Of course, the more people have power, the more their true nature gets revealed. And some empowered people may not like to confront their flaws or secret desires to oppress others. But I digress. As for wants vs. needs, it all depends on how comfortable people would be with how others think of them. A lot of men feel comfortable when they're perceived to be useful (to a family, a com…
/r/PurplePillDebate06/09/23 08:48 PM
3

Men have the luxury of meeting women. The reverse also applies (and it's not a luxury, it's... everyday life). This looks like a platitude to me.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/09/23 08:01 PM
2

I've already made peace with that fact (and even further, I'm not waiting for anyone) a long time ago. It was liberating, tbqh. After all, it's not just single women who are content/satisfied out there ;)
/r/PurplePillDebate06/09/23 07:46 PM
2

they will look at you, smile, hover, make excuses to talk to you, dance in your line of sight Everything but asking verbally out. Women, like men, have tongues and can speak (not counting mute ones, obvs). Use them and ask him out. embrace your duty You didn't get the current year memo. Gender roles are fading away, miss me with that 'duty' shit. Love and sex and dates should be done because people want to, not because they have to. If a woman wants a man, she should do it in the most clear-cut …
/r/PurplePillDebate06/09/23 06:53 PM
2

I reject their offer gently, the way I've been rejected by women, in my personal experience: gently. Treat others the way you would want to be treated and all that.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/09/23 03:37 PM
3

It's the amount of money (and certain high levels of investigation, for the intellectually-minded) they can make. Take that away, and the US loses some amount of attraction (but no major hardship, since the US is playing on easy mode, compared to a lot of countries, resource and geographically-wise). But is the money worth living in fear 24/7?
/r/PurplePillDebate06/09/23 03:34 PM
4

It seems that women are also murdered in America by men that ask them out. So, the system is broken, and American women need to depart that country and move to greener pastures. They have more money than most women around the world, they can get out of there.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/09/23 03:23 PM
5

Does murder happen to women who ask men out? Yes or no?
/r/PurplePillDebate06/09/23 03:19 PM
5

That's awful, but it's not murder. And it's more of a general sexual harassment thing, not directly related to women asking men out. In fact, your link doesn't even make any correlation nor mention of women asking men out, and being harassed as a result. I want evidence of women asking men out and being sexually harassed as a response by said men being asked out by said women. I'm starting to think it should be suggested to American women to date men from other countries (e.g. Nordic countries, …
/r/PurplePillDebate06/09/23 03:14 PM
2

Sounds like an unfunny (or, to be more precise, depressive) comedian. Most men are not inclined to rape and murder a woman for asking them out. Not in my country. Are American men that fucked up?!
/r/PurplePillDebate06/09/23 03:00 PM
3

But a lot of men do think a woman complimenting him is hitting on them. That happens due to how rarely men get compliments from women (at least, outside family circles and/close friends). So, it's inevitable some will make a whole fantasy movie in their heads (speaking from personal experience, I've been there). Normalize it, and it'll change.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/09/23 03:39 PM
1

Ok, and what did they say? How did they asked him out? Saying 'hi' is not enough.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/09/23 02:05 PM
2

Non-verbal moves shouldn't count. Did they verbally asked the men out? And what/how did they say it?
/r/PurplePillDebate03/09/23 01:40 PM
3

My argument is pointing out the double standard in his approach to his exuberant behaviour. The hugging is, in my view, not a problem, in that medal-giving context, btw. But the kissing went a bit too far, especially with him being the head of the federation and Hermoso being "only" a player (I say only, but she was quality in the tournament). Imagine if a company boss decided to kiss an employee on the lips, at an awards ceremony. It would be a bit too much, wouldn't it? And stop giving a shit …
/r/PurplePillDebate01/09/23 08:10 PM
4

The issue is that it was done in a culture where physical acts (including kissing) are used to show platonic affection and warmth I'm right next to Spain, I don't think you have to 'Iberiansplain' what I already know to me, a Portuguese dude. And, again, kissing on the cheeks is customary (first and foremost between relatives, friends). Kissing on the lips, like Rubiales did to Hermoso, is not customary, nor accepted in professional contexts. And if it was a rapid, exuberant peck, why didn't Rub…
/r/PurplePillDebate01/09/23 06:36 PM
3

Rubiales didn't kiss the player on the cheeks. He went full-on lip kissing, and made a whole scene about himself in that cringe press conference, banging on about "fake feminism". C'mon, dude, what are you getting at?
/r/PurplePillDebate01/09/23 05:14 PM
1

IRL, it's less. Online, it's more. Probably because of relative anonymity, they can say what they can't/wouldn't say in real life, where saying so could either get them exposed online (ironically enough) or, in extreme cases, get outright verbally or physically beaten up. Some degree of stoicism or mental/emotional privacy might also be at play, due to gender roles, or simply because there are men who prefer a tranquil/no-drama social life (for better or worse; imho, it's for the better).
/r/PurplePillDebate31/08/23 03:12 PM
2

and the expectations are shared, without being communicated. And yet, the rates of domestic violence between lesbian women are fairly high (especially when compared to gay men). Maybe not communicating verbally leads to boundaries being disrespected, which is fertile ground for the abusive person/people.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/08/23 03:01 PM
3

it seems like y’all view sex differently and i think y’all should talk about that. tell her how it makes you feel so y’all can move forward the best way possible! If they view (and rate) sexual expression differently, then the values aren't aligned. He can talk about it, but it's only useful if he says it to justify him (possibly) breaking up and each person going their own way. If the genders were flipped, would you say the same thing?
/r/PurplePillDebate28/08/23 11:56 PM
2

People who use discord are fucking weird. I'm weird. Fuck. Eh, embrace the weird xD. I've used discord to help me become friends and acquaintances with folks in my post-college years. If your social circle(s) uses discord, all the better.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/08/23 07:12 AM
1

Fair. Still, in light of future demographic issues in the future for most industrialized/post-industrialized nations (increasingly lower birth rates and all that), either the dating apps will have to go into specialization mode, or they will become substantially less capable of keeping themselves afloat. At least, it's how I see it in the long-term.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/08/23 01:39 AM
1

It is true that dating apps thrive on data being freely given by customers, much like FB or Twitter do/did. But I'm not sure if things will be smooth sailing for them. There are already a substantial amount of tech company lay-offs, and customer satisfaction will probably get lower throughout the years (whether due to jadedness and, consequently, quitting, or, on the other end, successfully pairing off and leaving the apps behind). But I'm not on dating apps, so, I'm looking at it from an outsid…
/r/PurplePillDebate27/08/23 10:08 PM
1

Weren't those chatrooms / aren't Discord or Reddit not that good at landing dates (for the former two, semi-anonymity and lack of profile pictures or bio, for the latter, the fact that the chat part being a bit sucky and spam-worthy)? I can see women being wary of chatrooms these days, what with the prevalence of revenge porn, cyberbullying, or straight up scouting for possible sex trafficking "resources"...
/r/PurplePillDebate27/08/23 10:04 PM
12

Also feel free to cheat as much Way to stoop to a low level, instead of rising above it all.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/08/23 02:34 PM
1

There are women who pointed this out online. It would be naive to assume people aren't mean girls/boys to one another, so, it's perfectly believable women shaming other women being something that happens, sometimes. And I believe the women who were targeted as such by their peers. Toxicity between women happens, after all.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/08/23 01:36 PM
1

I honestly never hear women virgin-shame anyone And yet, 'virgin' is used as an insult (and they target men with that label, especially men they dislike). Even if women don't consciously virgin-shame, unconsciously, there is still virgin-shaming present in the back of their minds, when they use the word as an insult. Because being a virgin is baaaad. Virgin is still a word with heavy negative connotations, for men in particular, but also women from a certain age onwards (once upon a time, 'spins…
/r/PurplePillDebate26/08/23 07:08 PM
1

I’m a woman with quite a lot of female friends and no one cares now that we’re adults On the other end of things, aren't women who are virgins beyond their 30's shamed by their women peers? I'm not talking about your circle, btw. There are women who engage in slut shaming and/or virgin shaming towards their peers.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/08/23 06:12 PM
12

You can have parties with alcohol (but not too much) and no debauchery. Not everybody goes for excesses.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/08/23 06:10 PM
3

At worst he'll get a few years for sex trafficking, which personally I don't care as long as they're adults and no one involved had a gun to their head. Do you truly know what sex trafficking actually is? And how there are many ways of trafficking people without having to resort to guns? What if you had a son or a daughter, and they were kidnapped/trafficked? How would you feel?
/r/PurplePillDebate25/08/23 09:19 PM
2

fanatic conversation The fervor and excess of zeal in that "conversation" would be off the charts.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/08/23 02:15 PM
4

Although I'm not searching for any kind of dating, I'd like to read advice that is not platitudes or general abstract concepts (both men and women engage in these, which is not exactly helpful), that could more accurately help men in need. But I also think helpful dating advice requires people knowing each other a bit more, so, PM's or even having an IRL, laid-back chat are more preferable.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/08/23 02:12 PM
1

it's men holding each other accountable the way that they were meant to Uh huh... Most men aren't holding each other accountable. I see corruption scandals, bosses refusing to raise wages and complaining "nobody wants to work anymore", rapists and paedos covering for each other and preventing wide-spread accountability, deadbeat fathers, populist shit-stirrers, need I go on? that hold you accountable for bringing in positive things into your life My family does that, and I do so in return. I don…
/r/PurplePillDebate22/08/23 01:52 PM
–

Many fathers from those eras were abusive. Only one child turned into Hitler. Many others became freedom fighters, and/or better parents. (I'd also say his mother's death affected him more than the abuse at the hands of his father, but whatever)
/r/PurplePillDebate22/08/23 01:38 PM
3

The only thing that will happen in my European country is a new round of the vaccine updated for new variants (kinda like the flu shot) available for 65+ people (and younger people with various conditions, related to covid or parallel to it). Nobody is thinking of lockdowns in either the government or the parliament, at the moment. The major concern is another: the ongoing heatwaves.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/08/23 01:31 PM
2

Men gain a massive amount of drive from purpose Yes, my psychologist (and a psychiatrist) helped me find that out, when I had to deal with suicidal thoughts and treat a low-key depression (I'm still treating, but I've come a long way when it comes to keeping it at bay). But you know what he didn't do? Use expressions like "man up". And I'll take a professional, successful psychologist over your stereotyping of 'feminine thinking' or some other American/British fake lingo that puts men down like …
/r/PurplePillDebate22/08/23 01:23 PM
1

First point is not really true, and there are introverted, non-shy women out there. Second point: Your Mileage May Vary, methinks. Third point I can agree with to some extent, since I was on the receiving end of being called boring (through a third party, but still...), despite my deep interest in music (and showing her music that has a legacy and influence. I'm a history-minded type of guy, from time to time). There is a substantial amount of women who aren't into men with giant social circles,…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/08/23 05:18 PM
1

I assume it took a while until he got it or you made all the initial physical moves, right?
/r/PurplePillDebate21/08/23 05:07 PM
1

I have and would ask men I already know to hang out alone or go to a bar/restaurant. It works Yeah, that's alright, and it's how I would roll for women as well.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/08/23 05:06 PM
1

Sadly, from what I saw in real life and read online, most women don't even do that, and try to get him to say those lines through non-verbal means. But yeah, the latter is good to clear up misconceptions and get straight to the point. That's what I wish it happened to me.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/08/23 05:01 PM
1

Do you all honestly assume that women don't hit on men? Women do hit on men, but it's usually done non-verbally or through ambiguous statements, no? And it's still the case that there seems to be many women (as shown by multiple threads and other online forums, as well as IRL) who take the passive stance, and wait for the guy to spell it out. I'm sorry if it was offensive, but if plenty of women do take the passsive approach, they're not gonna protest against something that's true in their lives…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/08/23 04:58 PM
1

When it comes to the kiss, try to spot a good moment, call his name, give a light kiss and see the reaction before proceeding with more. Smooth and effective move, congrats :)
/r/PurplePillDebate21/08/23 04:45 PM
2

That is one loophole I hadn't considered (because it's rare for such a thing in my country, outside of family, close friendships, and established romantic relationships). Fair, even if it's an unexpected loophole and not quite what I was looking for. Hetero women could learn a thing or two from bi women like you. :thumbsup:
/r/PurplePillDebate21/08/23 04:04 PM
0

There is a woman in this very thread who has already done so and got straight to the point. It's not that difficult to ask someone out.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/08/23 03:44 PM
1

Lmao, real middle school energy.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/08/23 03:31 PM
1

That's disappointing.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/08/23 03:31 PM
0

Just because a country's party claims that it is communist, doesn't mean that it is so. State-oriented capitalism is still capitalism, so, there are common patterns, since China also developed itself economically with its interactions with Western countries (and was even gradually opening up a bit in the early 21st century, until Xi Jinping put the kibosh on that for the time being). (In China's case, there's also the historical preference for boys and the one-child policy, which led to the deat…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/08/23 03:18 PM
2

Perfection. Especially the last two. :D
/r/PurplePillDebate21/08/23 03:09 PM
1

I'm aware of that, hence why I wrote "hypotethical scenario" in the title.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/08/23 03:08 PM
1

While it is true I suffered from that in the past (I worked on that, a few years ago), my "attraction graph" remains essentially the same. I can't force myself to become genuinely attracted from the get-go. And I'm in my rights to walk away, in order to put my mental health first. TRP advice I reject any kind of pill (mine is a jokey one, btw). Humans are complex, and can't be neatly summed up in a few buzzwords.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/08/23 02:35 PM
1

and when I know I want to and muster the courage I just tell them I like them and would like to take them on a date. I have little patience for being anything but straightforward and certainly don't consider sitting around and twirling my hair to be an option Solid attitude, kudos :)
/r/PurplePillDebate21/08/23 02:33 PM
2

Obviously. I hope you're not confusing me with the pushy guys from this subreddit (if anything, I was a pushover/doormat in the past). Last time I was genuinely into a woman, I asked her out in the past, respectfully so, and I went out on dates with said person. Nothing came of it (we were on different life periods, her being a few years older), but we can easily have a friendly chat for hours, if we happen to meet. Edit: fixed grammar.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/08/23 02:31 PM
1

Can't force my heart to not get genuinely attracted (and I can't force my heart to get attracted - as the girl who was the first to reject me, back in middle school, taught me. She was a really cool one). Once my attraction is on, but then find out she's not attracted, I need to distance myself (both in terms of space and time), to let said attraction gradually extinguish. Like a fire. Edited for clarification.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/08/23 02:24 PM
1

For some, it works that way. Proximity may mean less to you and other people, nowadays, but it's how dating happened in the past (pre-OLD), when it was more localized/community-based). Sadly, I can only get genuinely attracted to a woman if I spend enough time (and share some mutual interests) with her. I don't assume I'm being flirted with in any way shape or form (I'm not autistic, mind), and I prefer things to be laid out explicitly, rather than having to read between the lines. Work/company-…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/08/23 02:18 PM
1

Fair. Letting people down gently is something people of both genders should do as much as possible, I agree.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/08/23 02:16 PM
1

And if no guy whatsoever in this world would register said IOI's? Would you just give up?
/r/PurplePillDebate21/08/23 02:13 PM
10

vicious competition while claiming to believe in freedom and civic duties Don't forget believing in cooperation, charity and human rights, while engaging in said vicious competition and increasing lack of empathy. The West needs a reset or an outright paradigm change.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/08/23 02:08 PM
1

It doesn't have to be an utter stranger. But surely you could ask a friend out directly, no? No need to flirt, just spending enough time for natural chemistry to rise, and then make the verbal first move.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/08/23 02:05 PM
1

Fair. Just one last thing: By following social norms there's no fear of rejection, no dealing with internalized sexual shame Haven't social norms been one of the reasons women have a hard time expressing their sexuality, or even just going for it romantically? By going against social/sexual norms, there would not be any sort of repressed or internalized shame. On the contrary, there would be an enormous upgrade in confidence.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/08/23 02:04 PM
3

I'd flat out ask him out on a date. "Do you want to go on a date with me?". This is the way. It ain't hard to ask. :)
/r/PurplePillDebate21/08/23 02:02 PM
1

“Hey, you’re a pretty boy and I like you. Can I take you out? Sorry, I’m bad at articulating this shit.” I have no idea how old you are, but I think that could work with younger guys (teenage and/or college years). From the age of 25 onwards, you would likely have to swap "pretty boy" with "handsome man". But decent attempt, nonetheless. A bit rough around the edges, but that would be easily be fixed with some practice. :thumbsup:
/r/PurplePillDebate21/08/23 02:00 PM
3

Asking out does not require a whole change of personality. Most passive, non-confrontational men eventually learn to ask someone out, without their personalities being fundamentally changed. Besides, social pressures and society norms exist to be pushed back/defied/subverted/fought against, so that humans can carve their own way. Gender dynamics will change throughout this century (e.g. women becoming much more pro-active, men becoming much more respectful and playing it cool), so, I think both …
/r/PurplePillDebate21/08/23 01:55 PM
1

I should put have written that even flirting wouldn't work out (especially the way you wrote, which implies he still needs to say things explicitly). I'm asking what would you do if you could only explicitly, without any ambiguities, ask a man out? And maybe not just for coffee or to see a band, actually asking a man out for an out-and-out date?
/r/PurplePillDebate21/08/23 01:53 PM
1

What would you say, when asking a man out?
/r/PurplePillDebate21/08/23 01:51 PM
18

"Just go gay" doesn't work, and is a disservice to actual gay guys.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/08/23 01:11 PM
9

'Man up' is kinda like telling 'be happy' to a person dealing with depression. It doesn't work, and often leads to setting the other person back, and make things psychologically worse. There are better ways to encourage and support people.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/08/23 11:51 PM
1

it’s hard to know what’s true or not because everyone here says all men think this way Rule of thumb: always take any generalization, regardless of who makes it or who's the target of it, with a grain of salt. Or several grains, really. Especially in a subreddit like this.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/08/23 09:57 PM
2

Verbal first move? Not only they don't need to do such, they - apart from a few exceptions - don't want to (for various reasons). Which is a pity, because they could learn a lot about the shoe being on their foot, for once. Non-verbal first moves (what people call 'signs')? Sometimes, they do have to make them, even if only to stand out a bit. But most signs either require the guy to accurately read them, or they'll be so ambiguous they won't mean anything to lots of guys (especially guys who ar…
/r/PurplePillDebate20/08/23 09:51 PM
2

I mean, I'm a guy in his early 30's who sometimes gets mistaken as someone in the early 20's. And I used to be generally treated with informal language by older women who thought I was some sort of teen (especially when I shaved my beard completely) back in my uni years. Are men and women with supposed childlike appearance just shit out of luck, even though they didn't ask to have said appearance, nor for sleazy guys/gals circling around them?
/r/PurplePillDebate20/08/23 09:48 PM
2

Flat chest, super small or no ass, very narrow hips So, women who have those characteristics are shit out of luck, over things they can't really control (other than getting boob/ass jobs, which mean more money for plastic surgeons' bank accounts, not to mention the underlying body dysmorphia). And people wonder why A-cup angst is a thing...
/r/PurplePillDebate20/08/23 08:54 PM
1

I think it's problematic letting tikt*k shit colour your perceptions of the world and its people, regardless of gender. That shit is solely for attention whoring and occasional marketing, and you're never gonna get an accurate picture of anything from that place.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/08/23 08:46 PM
3

how in her experience Australian men are more hesistant to make the first move in general. I think she's mistaking the laid-back attitudes that they display for passiveness.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/08/23 01:37 PM
2

That’s a weird coincidence that you even know them. Eh, I've always been deeply into music (listening, reading, thinking about it), so, my curiosity led me to many places (and it's still leading me). No big deal. Besides, it's not like the Smiths are an obscure name. Their place in history is consolidated. You went through a lot of betrayals, indeed. My condolences, hope you've reached a state of contentment. And yeah, building a good emotional armor is a must (I had to do so as well, though my …
/r/PurplePillDebate19/08/23 09:08 AM
1

Dude what’s the ratio of male rappers vs sexy female rappers? Now do it for Pop music in general and see how it's a very different ratio.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/08/23 12:18 AM
1

Probably best not to measure a world wide community of people by what some no-standards folks say on a reddit sub. Just saying...
/r/PurplePillDebate18/08/23 11:33 PM
3

locking me in the basement with one of her friends Did you pointed it out to her later how this would've felt if the genders were reversed? Because that is fucking scary.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/08/23 11:16 PM
4

It's not the one night stand that hurt him. It's being deceived/manipulated that hurts. Is that girl had been upfront about everything, he wouldn't have felt hurt. It's the duplicitous behaviour (by her, by his buddy and respective fiancé) that hurts. Anyone would've felt that way for a time, regardless of gender.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/08/23 11:09 PM
2

This happened to me many times in the 90s and 2000s Weren't there sensitive young men back in the day? In the early 80's, indie groups like Orange Juice, Aztec Camera (and later on, the Smiths) in the UK wrote songs about such things. Hell, Morrissey was the poster child for the sensitive young man in the mid-80's. Or the loads and loads of love songs written and sung by men in the pop and rock realms throughout the decades (across both sides of the pond) that almost bludgeoned you in the head w…
/r/PurplePillDebate18/08/23 11:03 PM
1

I thought with male camaraderie that men would be able to work together as a team to help each other get a girl That only works if most men in the group are already paired to someone. If they're all single, dynamics can go haywire as soon as a woman gets into the convo (especially if most men in the group are young and/or desperate) There is male camaraderie to be had, but only when the topic of women doesn't come up. Political groups, sports club fans, bands, churches, plenty of camaraderie the…
/r/PurplePillDebate18/08/23 11:02 AM
2

Virgin men who are inexperienced have friendships and some (most?) can navigate them decently enough. Plus, there are non-virgin people who also fall into unhealthy dynamics in a friendship, even if, in theory, they should know better.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/08/23 01:27 PM
6

I'm one of the people who has made peace with the fact I'm not going to have a relationship or even sex. A mixture of too many mistakes of my own making, mixed with a low-key depression that increased throughout most of my 20's until I finally decided to see a psychologist due to intense suicidal thoughts, and other stuff. I'm feeling better these days (the suicidal thoughts disappeared, and the depression has been kept at bay), even if I still have a couple of glaring lack of achievements (whic…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/08/23 11:53 PM
2

It's easier to figure out a friendship, through simply hanging out regularly, or having some things in common (e.g. music tastes, political alignments), or sharing silly thoughts without fear of judgement. Neither men nor women fully know how the other feel each other about romantic feelings, none can read the other's heart and mind as if it was a easily readable book). Which is why people ask (and go) each other out for a date, or declare said feelings. It's a much deeper layer than friendship,…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/08/23 04:01 PM
5

Unwanted, unreciprocated feelings shouldn't be expressed. So, you want men to not repress their feelings and stop appearing strong/virile/stoic... And then tell them to not express their feelings? Have you ever asked a man out and he didn't want your feelings? By your criteria,you should not express your unwanted feelings, right? But how are people going to find out about one's romantic interest in the first place, if someone doesn't take the initiative to tell their romantic feelings?
/r/PurplePillDebate13/08/23 03:27 PM
2

in bad ways. What bad ways?
/r/PurplePillDebate11/08/23 01:07 AM
1

Not having a social media presence stands out and I think you could accomplish it quite easily I thought "not having social media presence" was a red flag? (As in, a guy without media presence would make a woman think about what could he be hiding, or whether he's trustworthy at all. So, a red flag, and, in some cases, a dealbreaker) A woman not having media presence is generally more appealing to a lot of men, especially if she's very attractive.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/08/23 09:14 PM
3

If his girlfriend DOES try to get him to eat junk food it’s because she’s tired of eating unseasoned chicken and rice everyday. Aren't those extremes? Would you try to get a teetotaler to drink vodka straight away? She's not insecure, but she doesn't care about his boundaries, which, last I checked, is a so-called red flag.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/08/23 08:20 PM
1

I didn't imply a room without anything at all. In my case, for example, I prefer a room with lots of books and music records, to a room with wall art that doesn't have anything meaningful to say, for example. Or a room that is modest and humble (something that is lacking today in a lot of people, but I digress). Also, you misunderstood what I meant by über-individualism. It's the excessive decorating (the opposite of laziness, but an excess, nonetheless), and the need to constantly differentiate…
/r/PurplePillDebate09/08/23 12:09 PM
4

Well decorated rooms show your personality than the bare minimum which only communicates that you don't care. Men who don't care about well decorated rooms care about other things, and have a personality of their own. Material objects may not matter (or not matter as much) to someone who prefers to talk and think about ideas, events, culture. All of these can be a lot more revealing about one's personality. Not everything needs to circle back to constant materialism/über-individualism and its di…
/r/PurplePillDebate09/08/23 01:53 AM
4

Men used to bro-fuck each other in all sorts of historical contexts (the manly Romans Men who were tops/dominant were deemed to be manly (regardless of who they fucked, men or women). However, men who were bottoms/submissive (regardless of who they fucked, men or women) were not considered to be manly, and were often vilified, denigrated and sometimes the target of (what we nowadays would call) defamation (Julius Caesar was the target of a rumour that implied he was the bottom to a foreign monar…
/r/PurplePillDebate09/08/23 01:36 AM
1

Ok, got it, thanks for the answer. Aren't there hygiene products that can wipe out said bacteria? Or even just use a bidet for a woman to wash her private parts?
/r/PurplePillDebate04/08/23 08:18 PM
1

virgins get UTIs too How so? If there's no sex or close contact whatsoever (and nothing nasty like sharing needles), how come UTIs can be caught?
/r/PurplePillDebate04/08/23 04:16 PM
1

The "born again" concept is mostly an US (and Protestant, by and large) thing. Non-Christian women are not the majority there.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/08/23 02:57 PM
–

And not just old US rock songs. There's fertile ground in multiple genres, countries, and so forth, to do said podcast.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/08/23 12:44 AM
1

Portugal. The numbers don't tell the whole story and the reality on the ground. Our birth rates are utter shit, and constant waves of youth emigration have left a mostly elderly population. (And that's not even getting into the absolute state of housing accesibility, or the lowest wages in Western Europe, or how these two factors lead lots of young people to either live with family or with roommates, just to share costs and burdens of living (which is better than the uber-individualistic way of …
/r/PurplePillDebate03/08/23 12:23 AM
6

born again Christians and get a total blank slate on EVERYTHING by getting dunked and saying words Born again Christians is essentially a Protestant thing, no? There's no such thing like that in the bigger denominations (Catholic and Orthodox), because baptism works like an "approval seal" from the get-go on babies (that is not to say adults can't get baptized, but non-baptized adults weren't baptized and raised in a Catholic or Orthodox background when they were babies/children). Whatever you d…
/r/PurplePillDebate02/08/23 11:27 PM
5

As someone who is a virgin, it's equal parts funny and irritating to hear of this "born again virgin" concept. You can't go back to the past, what's done is done. You can run away all you want, but inevitably, you'll have to come to terms with what you did (or didn't do) in the past. "Born again virgin" is a cop out.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/08/23 11:17 PM
0

For good mental health, men only need the gym and TRP Family? Friends? A support network? No?
/r/PurplePillDebate02/08/23 11:01 PM
2

His bullying of Snape was not particularly frowned upon and was done as part of a rivalry between Slytherins and Gryffindors. He did bullied others (through jinxes, as Lily pointed out in the scene Harry saw in the Pensieve). He certainly had an arrogant, mean streak (that gradually faded away in order to get into a relationship with Lily). Not a fully bad boy, but it took a while (apparently the last year of school) for him to tame himself. (I'm currently re-reading the books, and the 5th one a…
/r/PurplePillDebate28/07/23 07:47 PM
18

Yup, 'Mudblood'. Same word Malfoy used towards Hermione.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/07/23 07:33 PM
3

or Snape who has Dark Triad tendencies (women crushing on him irl). Often, it's because of the movies. I saw some of the Snape drawings in the books and he doesn't look remotely as appealing as Alan Rickman was. I don't see women fancying book Snape's looks.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/07/23 07:28 PM
13

thousands of women are fangirling over Snape The streets remember the Snapewives.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/07/23 06:51 PM
3

It's not morally wrong (assuming it doesn't get into outright psychological abuse), but I - and likely a significant amount of people as well - wouldn't get into a relationship with someone who acted that way, seems obsessive score-keeping at best, controlling at worst. And, ultimately, too transactional, too American for me.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/07/23 02:50 PM
1

Life is about what you do, not who you are. It's both, otherwise, individualism wouldn't be the social modus operandi of most of the West (especially in the US, where it goes up to 11).
/r/PurplePillDebate24/07/23 04:34 PM
–

And my wife is totally faithful to me, despite the fact that she sometimes fucks another guy. Unless you and your wife are in an open relationship, this is one dissonant sentence.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/07/23 11:47 PM
1

female arbitrators at male soccer , haven’t you seen the last world cup The proper word is referees. And, besides, who gives a shit, as long as the referee does their job well? Plenty of male referees have poor refereeing skills or are outright biased/corrupt. Stéphanie Frappart was decent at the match she refereed, as well. I say, bring them on, at least the male players will avoid surrounding them in groups in an attempt to intimidate.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/07/23 01:10 AM
3

sports talk shows count as men’s space because the cast is all men This is not necessarily true. More women are getting interested in football (soccer, for Americans, Aussies and others) in my country (from fans to players), and a colleague from my uni days is a regular commentator in footy-related TV programs (usually of the debate type). A country like the UK has a noticeable amount of women involved in sports talk shows, journalism, and podcasts as well. (Which is great, btw, but sports talk …
/r/PurplePillDebate22/07/23 01:04 AM
2

Not overweight with hair = above average TIL I'm above average in looks, by this criteria.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/07/23 07:01 PM
1

Welp, sorry for making the assumption I wrote above. Best of luck (and work), I guess.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/07/23 07:56 PM
1

Your husband is superbly blessed. May your relationship remain that way!
/r/PurplePillDebate20/07/23 06:12 PM
3

Must be a bit of a sad life thinking like that. Do you treat your friends the same way, only expecting benefits? US culture's views of human relations as fully transactional are very, very toxic.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/07/23 06:09 PM
2

I asked my husband out. Wish more women did the same as you did. (You asked him out verbally, right?)
/r/PurplePillDebate20/07/23 01:42 AM
–

Considering the children already divide themselves in smaller groups (either in the playground or even by how much they study and the effects of parental raising - or lack of it), the grades and their learning will be different across the board. Also, no discipline changes one's behaviour. Peer pressure, parental abuse/neglect, or visual overstimulation without critical learning (to name a few) do.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/07/23 01:09 AM
1

If a women is making you feel uncomfortable sexually call the police or leave And if the man in that situation freezes?...
/r/PurplePillDebate20/07/23 01:02 AM
–

you don't need to pay attention to something, presence is enough. Try not to pay attention to math formulas or the contents of disciplines in general, see how well that goes when it's exam season.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/07/23 11:17 PM
7

They just the employers not the job hunters. Suddenly, "where are all the good men?" and "nobody wants to work anymore" make for interesting parallels.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/07/23 09:45 PM
3

Nobody has said that the majority of men leer at young girls. In response to someone saying the majority of men would not leer at said young girls, this came up: They absolutely do, and I immediately mistrust any man who denies it. Although I'm not overly invested, that back and forth caught my eye.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/07/23 06:02 PM
7

The fault does not lie exclusively with either gender, and, more importantly, it's the companies that made these apps that are primarily responsible. Imho, dating should have never been 'gamified' or altered by algorithms in the first place.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/07/23 08:29 PM
1

or a cell phone or a car Many people one or both of these (cell phones for making and answering job-related call searches, as well as navigating website quickly for job offers online, cars to go to where the companies are, with most of them being located in the outskirts of a city, or even to go grocery shopping). You're not wrong about your overall point, just pointing this out.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/07/23 07:50 PM
6

I've met people physically after chatting with them online. People can take the initiative or seek opportunities, and arrange meet-ups.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/07/23 01:58 PM
10

would be living in front of books back then. At least books tend to be, on principle, more informative (and educating), compared to social media content. And better for focus/concentration. Better to learn something than to feel MOFO or insecurities from comparison to others' cinematic social lives carefully curated on social media.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/07/23 01:55 PM
7

Teaching is a lazy intellectual career? I wonder what your teachers would think of you, if they heard you say that. Is America so bad that you (general you) hate the very point of teaching and learning?
/r/PurplePillDebate15/07/23 09:31 PM
1

If you were to be sick and bed-ridden, surely you'd expect him to do the necessary chores (which would make you feel secured/protected, and therefore, in better condition to recover), no?
/r/PurplePillDebate15/07/23 05:06 PM
3

Did you downvote me for answering your question? Crazy. I did not. I rarely downvote, in fact. Have an upvote for the comment above this one.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/07/23 04:45 PM
2

but I think a lot of this seems like it’s related to before people enter a relationship The 'ick' also happens in relationships, and leads to the end of them. I've read one too many stories of men seeing the relationship end because they cried over their parent's terminal illness (or death), a death of a friend, or a death of their animal companion, and the woman losing attraction very quickly and jumping ship.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/07/23 04:34 PM
3

We fear rejection just like men do And yet, only men are pressured (either socially or by themselves) to do so. And they have to do it more than once, can't slink back into the cocoon after one failed try. While women get a break and aren't judged as soon as they get rejected once. As for the ones used to being asked out, I wish men would stop doing it (so that some women get that nothing is for granted, as well as for them avoid having to deal with constant harassment, which benefits both parti…
/r/PurplePillDebate15/07/23 03:56 PM
1

Physically protected, Emotionally protected, Competence-derived protected (as in, doing tasks/chores she may not be able to do, or being skillful at something material); Socially protected. Two or more (or all of these) are the ideal, from what I understand.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/07/23 03:49 PM
3

If both of you were shy and/or awkward, yeah, that sucks. It's why we all have to overcome such hindrances and ask out directly. Saves time, and there's no "what if..." thought lingering around afterwards.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/07/23 03:46 PM
3

And if he didn't treat me any differently, that to me said that he wasn't interested Maybe he was very respectful to you, or didn't want to misunderstand signs (due to possible bad experiences), or was simply shy. Offering things or being around him or receiving compliments doesn't mean much, in this day and age. Asking out verbally should be the way all people should do if they were interested, imho. Times have changed, to hell with dysfunctional social conventions.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/07/23 03:23 PM
1

or will contact you often under a pretence, she likes you. Unless she has a boyfriend, in which case one ends up becoming a third wheel. (Been there, been contacted like that repeatedly (and went repeatedly, like a dog), in the circumstance I said above. Never again, hated being naive at the time) On a related note, why doesn't she simply ask out verbally? No signs, no pretences or hanging around, just ask directly if he wants to go out on a proper date.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/07/23 03:17 PM
2

So, what's the correct term for someone who expects their partner to get all slutty in bed (for them and them only), but also want them to act in a chaste/pure manner outside in regards to other people (usually other potential competitors)?
/r/PurplePillDebate14/07/23 11:43 PM
2

While I believe your personal testimony in a comment of yours here, I think what happens out there is that there is a higher tolerance (or outright acceptance) for moments where women cry. Obviously, if it gets too much, things dry out. But some men seem to be quite accepting and eager to provide comfort to their partners. Whether it's because of a genuine sense of care or gender expectations that are adhered to by men will vary in various degrees, needless to say. Men are not given the same roo…
/r/PurplePillDebate14/07/23 07:51 PM
0

True, people do narrate their own events in a simplistic manner, leaving out important details. I do think that mending gender relationships a bit would help with people of both genders owning up to their own faults more, but the social/digital climate doesn't seem to allow that.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/07/23 07:43 PM
2

Hence, my second part of that question: Namely, in what ways should men and women compromise (within reason), or, at least, understand and be supportive in regards to where they come from?
/r/PurplePillDebate14/07/23 02:52 PM
3

Don't try to change someone into something they're not; Insta pics are unreliable as a basis for a relationship. Thirst is an impediment to a calm assessment of said relationship; Assert boundaries, but in a way that is textually or vocally subtle, but clearly and firmly. Make them read between the lines, rather than laying it all out, or giving them room to edit or select said messages. Such conversations should be done in-person, rather than through messaging, imo; The media will write anythin…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/07/23 09:04 PM
1

And 10 years without marriage is a red flag There are people who have stayed together in de facto unions for years, and never wanted marriage, and are content/satisfied being that way. Why the heck is it a red flag?
/r/PurplePillDebate12/07/23 09:19 PM
1

Never went through such a thing yet (but I appreciate the sympathy). However I linked that comment because it didn't happen on a first date. It was when the relationship was established, and the guy I linked thought he had his 'emotional back' covered: When women say "trauma dumping" what they generally mean is a guy they barely know or went on a first date with, is immediately dumping all of their issues on her Many of the testimonies I read in this subreddit and /r/AskMen generally state that …
/r/PurplePillDebate08/07/23 08:45 PM
3

I think alot of times men trauma dump and then say women reject them but trauma dumping indicates emotional instability and no one finds that attractive. Is crying because one of their parents died or are suffering from a terminal illness trauma dumping?
/r/PurplePillDebate08/07/23 01:53 AM
1

1 and 2 are generally upheld across the board. 3 and 4, I suspect some uphold, but there are also backstabbers or women who don't uphold it. And, in the case of 4, wait a while for things to cool down before going after the guy. I wonder if one of the rules of your girl code is: "5: Never ask that guy out. It will make you look desperate and/or a pickme." And then make sure the ones in their circle uphold this rule, in order to not "look easy" to guys. Am I right or wrong, OP?
/r/PurplePillDebate07/07/23 02:30 PM
6

Be prepared as a man because it’s likely your mate will talk about your relationship and sex life I'd be somewhat ok with some aspects of the relationship being talked about (I know I would with my friends, in the case of a hypothetical relationship), but I wouldn't talk about sex and what it was like, and I'd expect her to do the same. Also, can any woman here explain to me why do some women talk about penis size or what do they look like? I wouldn't talk about someone's vagina to my friends, t…
/r/PurplePillDebate07/07/23 02:19 PM
3

I'm guessing it depends. If the woman is also a gamer, and into WoW or other multiplayer games (probably rare, but they exist), then they can have play sessions together. There can also be occasions where the woman who's into a guy who's playing an instrument other than guitar. As for practicing guitar (or any instrument), I think one should learn because they genuinely want to learn, and/or love music without a care about what others think. Using it as a way to attract women sounds kinda fake, …
/r/PurplePillDebate06/07/23 02:50 PM
2

i’m stuck with a delusional generation who doesn’t understand how life actually works. Are you saying that about your own or about a younger generation?
/r/PurplePillDebate06/07/23 02:46 PM
4

I don’t know if men realize how childish and juvenile video games are. They have negative sex appeal. It's only negative if they spend loads of hours on it and neglect themselves (or their family members). Aside from that, what they do in the privacy of their rooms (which is where video games truly belong) is their business. Good on you for focusing on your career, but other people can also focus, while decompressing at the end of a day with a hour of two of entertainment. What's something that …
/r/PurplePillDebate06/07/23 01:27 PM
1

As someone who never had a relationship and/or sex (only a few dates with one woman, years ago), and is unlikely to ever experience that anymore (I'm too much of a xmas cake by now, and the last time I was really attracted - as in, romantically attracted - to a woman was years ago) here are my cents: Lying may be useful for ones interested in casual sex only, but it's still ethically wrong. Treat others the way you'd want to be treated, which is to say, with a modicum of respect; Omitting it is …
/r/PurplePillDebate05/07/23 05:44 PM
3

Women complain all the time that men don't approach them IRL Sounds like they need to take the initiative and approach men IRL. Maybe even ask them out verbally.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/07/23 10:20 PM
1

how annoying is it to have to deal with your genital bits just hanging around all the time? Do they get in the way? How can pants possibly be comfortable? Not a common occurrence. Sometimes it happens when jeans or trousers are (very) tight ones, or swimming trunks are not enough to cover them, from certain angles/POV's, but apart from that, it's very much manageable. I definitely don't swing them around in a circle, tho xD.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/06/23 10:19 PM
18

The concern with cellulite is a bit overblown, imo. Never understood why it's so unappealing to some.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/06/23 08:01 PM
1

You dont need a car In big cities? Sure. But go outside of them and into areas that are hilly or mountainous (northern Portugal, Asturias in Spain, a good chunk of Italy, to name some examples), and you'll see how not having a car becomes a hindrance. (And not having a driver's license is, much like in the US, a possible sign of general - including romantic/sexual - incompetence/inexperience in a person).
/r/PurplePillDebate26/06/23 08:32 PM
3

I agree with the latter two bullet points, OP, not only for dating, but during the course of relationships themselves. However: The math in the 1st bullet point doesn't really track, except maybe for younger generations, and only in some countries where there's a demographic dysfunction (e.g. more men than women in China). The 2nd bullet is not necessarily true, there are people of various body shapes dating around. They are important for people who you wish to date that want someone with that k…
/r/PurplePillDebate26/06/23 02:53 PM
2

Obviously work doesn't trump all (certainly not family, and not health either), obviously. But there's a time and a place to talk about it. You don't talk about sex when presenting the latest report at the company meeting, or talking with clients about inheritance matters, but you can certainly talk about it during lunch or dinner time, if the folks you're with are also willing or engaged. As for the Linkedin Lunatics, I'm aware and avoid them. I lurk that subreddit. At the end of the day, as I …
/r/PurplePillDebate23/06/23 06:39 PM
8

"keep your mouth shut about sex" You forgot the "at work" part. Keep it strictly professional, or at most, ask if the family's doing alright. Talking about sex outside of specific contexts (e.g. a shooting of a movie with a sex scene) is not the way to go. The same should apply to relationships talk, and to both genders, imo. (I'm not American, and not a puritan type, btw)
/r/PurplePillDebate23/06/23 03:12 PM
3

"I was a waitress once, I didn't mind guys hitting on me" Isn't that person doing a disservice to her former colleagues? I'm pretty sure most waitresses don't feel like getting hit on, they're just doing their job. Same applies to any other customer-facing job.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/06/23 02:13 PM
1

Well, as far as I can recall, my high school reunions had no such creepy moments, and they were very chill/relaxed (in a cafe/bar). Probably because most of our mothers tended to be upfront and drilled our heads about respect and basic boundaries. And probably different cultural norms as well, since I'm from a small city in a small European country.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/06/23 10:25 PM
6

A handful of dick pics Who the fuck sends dick pics in a high school reunion, of all events?! Weren't they taught basic social protocol?
/r/PurplePillDebate21/06/23 08:30 PM
1

Basically no one lives with their parents in western societies You must be living under a rock. Come to Southern Europe, and I'll show you around. Nordics and the US are the only cases where what you said happens (and even then, more people live with their parents in the US these days, because housing - and even renting - is becoming more and more out of reach).
/r/PurplePillDebate21/06/23 03:53 PM
12

I would gladly comment on this, as someone who's been through kinda the same (but replace ghosting with gradually drifting away, due to physical distance and mental health circumstances), but this is purge week, and I see your post is already attracting uncharitable interpretations and accusations. Maybe some other time, when cooler times (and heads) return, I'll give my personal experience. But on purge week, it's best to be generally silent and eat the popcorn.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/06/23 02:16 AM
–

Now, do it in the metric of The Divine Comedy proper. :p It's decently funny, tho I'd replace the superhero and supervillian bits with a different analogy, it's too 'murican.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/06/23 10:01 PM
1

Schopenhauer didn't found stoicism, that goes back to ancient Greece/Rome.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/06/23 10:51 PM
–

By what means is capitalism prohibiting people from starting families? Market forces have turned housing economically inaccessible to many (this is especially true in countries where wages are low and COL is high); Employers want to keep wages low by importing immigrants that don't add much added value (and, furthermore, are put into cramped apartments with other immigrants, and exploited by working Victorian Age hours), and not wanting to raise wages for workers who share their nationality (or …
/r/PurplePillDebate06/06/23 11:46 PM
–

private schools in Britain are far superior to state run schools. That's part of the Conservatives/Tories' strategy. Has been so for years, they only care about themselves and their brethren.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/06/23 10:02 PM
1

If you get really good and can show the world, even just for a moment, women will start to come to you. Eh, considering a noticeable amount (some would say the majority) of women don't take the initiative in dating (or at least a verbal/vocal approach), I don't see that happening. Besides, if one wants to be good at something, or really delve into their hobbies and passions, they should that for themselves, not for the possibility of attracting someone. Imho, men shouldn't even entertain that po…
/r/PurplePillDebate06/06/23 09:58 PM
–

Abortion doesn't require the permission of the boyfriend/husband/partner. Vasectomy doesn't require the permission of the girlfriend/wife/partner. They can listen to their respective partners for a second opinion, but the decision is ultimately theirs, as far as choices in body autonomy go. In these modern times and as far as secular morality goes, that is the name of the game.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/06/23 09:24 PM
1

relationships between superiors and subordinates at a job are against most hr policies. This post concerns legal age gap relationships, not workplace affairs. Policies aren't necessarily enforced everywhere or even well enforced, and relationships or affairs still happen behind the scenes, when no one's looking. the woman is the one being pursued regardless of age Ok, but if it's the younger man being pursued, to his discomfort, and you happened to notice it, would you denounce the situation wit…
/r/PurplePillDebate02/06/23 09:29 PM
1

People in position of power are, as a general rule, older, so, it's correlation that should be taken into account. Also, men must be aroused or sex won't happen. Careful with this line of thinking. An erection and/or ejaculation does not necessarily mean the man is genuinely into it. There are also ways of sex that don't involve erection or arousal on his part (an older woman forcing a man to eat her 'down there', using coercion, manipulation and other forms that cancel out physical differences …
/r/PurplePillDebate02/06/23 07:56 PM
3

because he is physically stronger than the woman and can push her off if he doesn't consent. "If you don't have sex with me or push me off, you can say goodbye to a future in this industry". Women in positions of power can easily do the same thing as men in said positions.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/06/23 01:07 PM
–

Yeah, that's fair. Long-term thinking is perfectly understandable. As for a situationship: A situationship is an informal arrangement typically between two people that has components of both emotional and physical connection, yet operates outside the conventional idea of being in an exclusive, committed relationship. In some cases, situationships are constrained by time and the idea that a casual arrangement is the best fit for the current situation. Basically, not a one night stand, but neither…
/r/PurplePillDebate02/06/23 11:35 AM
2

I'm aware a noticeable amount of men here say stuff like that. Whether it's due to bitterness or having been on the receiving end of their hobbies not being appreciated by women (vocally so, in some cases), I don't know. The caring what she does for a living matters, indeed, especially in this day and age where people have hard times thriving (or even surviving) on a single income. Don't get where they're from, unless they're rich/wealthy (which I find unlikely), or were raised in very conservat…
/r/PurplePillDebate01/06/23 09:02 PM
–

Women's shelters are prominent in your area, no?
/r/PurplePillDebate01/06/23 08:05 PM
2

I don't know if your comment is mere bait, but, as far as I'm concerned, most of the crushes I had (and a few dates with one of them) happened because we had common interests and experiences. And because they were friendly and kind. Guess I must be a weird man.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/06/23 08:02 PM
5

I notice when I compliment men they act weird like they didn't hear me Not speaking for other men, but this could be for various reasons: a) They're not used to receiving compliments from women. Related to this... a.1) They might be thinking she is trying to sell them something; a.2) They might be thinking she is trying to get him to buy something for her; b) They're trying really hard to not lose their composure, and fighting off feelings of possible attraction ("she complimented me, does this …
/r/PurplePillDebate31/05/23 09:40 PM
1

(Some of us take it for other reasons as well like cycle stabilizing, lighter menstruation, not menstruating at all, etc.) That makes sense, didn't took that into account. Overall, your points are understandable, apart from one. Elucidate me, please: Especially if they've gotten snipped so young which suggests to me they're a bit of a rake. What if the ones who got them snipped young simply never wanted to have kids in the first place, and were committed to that goal from the get-go, and made an…
/r/PurplePillDebate31/05/23 06:10 PM
3

Hope all goes well for both of you on those fronts!
/r/PurplePillDebate31/05/23 06:04 PM
3

Wasn't expecting that kind of candid response xD
/r/PurplePillDebate31/05/23 05:20 PM
1

I wouldn't say that is a lie (that hypothetical dude didn't lie about vasectomy in your quoted sentence), but he would definitely be ignorant of STD concerns. If it's in the interest of not wanting to have kids, then, disclosing one had a vasectomy is the best thing to do, no?
/r/PurplePillDebate31/05/23 05:19 PM
1

Yeah, nothing wrong with STD concerns in casual stuff.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/05/23 05:16 PM
3

That seems like a good alignment of goals. May your relationship go well, and the hypothetical adopted one(s) be welcomed and brought up well :)
/r/PurplePillDebate31/05/23 05:16 PM
1

Incompatible goals are a perfectly understandable dealbreaker, and matters of condoms as well, for the STD concerns (particularly in the realm of casual sex). But would birth control still be necessary, in light of information about one's vasectomy? Especially in a relatinship proper?
/r/PurplePillDebate31/05/23 05:14 PM
5

Yeah, I can see that. No gay spaces means it's more difficult to ascertain who is into same-sex people as well, and the insult part you mentioned is soul-crushing, to boot. Congrats on lucking out with your girlfriend!
/r/PurplePillDebate12/05/23 06:32 PM
1

I’m also a lesbian so I know how hard it can be to approach a woman Isn't there a greater level of initial ease/comfort/trust between a woman and a woman vs. a man and a woman? Not to mention a greater social awareness of when and where women are ok with being approached with women, contrasted with men? (But I guess it depends on whether one is approaching within a LGBT space, compared to public life, where the approached woman is more likely to be straight than bi/lesbian)
/r/PurplePillDebate12/05/23 05:27 PM
2

Think intrusive thoughts or an involuntary state of intense desire for the object of one's affection.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/04/23 05:20 PM
1

You've got the right spirit. Good luck!
/r/PurplePillDebate20/04/23 09:20 PM
2

From what I glanced about the history of the terminology, there have been variations like STM (the M being medicine), STEMM (which included both maths and medicine), and so forth. And before there was STEM, there was SMET (the M being medicine). I'm gonna have to ask you for a source on your claim.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/04/23 07:26 PM
1

That doesn't answer my question, but whatever, thanks.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/04/23 07:23 PM
1

Math is a liberal art So, no more STEM, only STE? And why is it a liberal art?
/r/PurplePillDebate10/04/23 06:26 PM
3

The anglos are emotionally repressed in so many ways, they think everything outside of their cagey body expression is weird.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/04/23 02:05 PM
10

The vast majority of men had to stay there. The lives of people across Ukraine have been profoundly impacted by the humanitarian crisis brought on by the invasion on 24 February 2022. As of 29 April, 5.5 million refugees have already fled Ukraine, and the number of internally displaced persons has reached 7.7 million. Of those who have fled the country, it is estimated that 90 per cent are women and children, while most men aged 18–60 are required to stay behind under martial law. There are of c…
/r/PurplePillDebate09/04/23 01:22 PM
2

The trick to getting to that point was having a job that required answering phones, and making calls; metaphorically "touching grass" lol. Same (but replace job with internship). It's a great way to become accustomed to it, and dealing with people outside of family and/or friends.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/03/23 01:06 AM
5

He's a very fortunate man (and you are a very fortunate woman, might I add)! Glad there's giving and receiving in equal measures between you two, keep cherishing each other :)
/r/PurplePillDebate21/03/23 05:54 PM
29

Although I don't have (never had) a partner, here's my favourite, which can be summed up in a single word in (Brazilian) Portuguese: Cafuné - The act of caressing or tenderly running fingers through a loved one’s hair”. This affectionate action can be applied to lovers and pets alike, as can the term chamego, which wraps up the senses of intimacy, infatuation, and cuddling, all in one term. It can be done by both men and women towards their respective partners, regardless of sexual orientation.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/03/23 04:57 PM
1

So when are the times women aren't pretending to be entertained, and are genuinely entertained? (And I ask this as a guy who is/was more into letting the other person talk)
/r/PurplePillDebate20/03/23 04:06 PM
2

No problem, I totally get your point. It will be their finest hour, but it will also take decades to fully heal, to the point that probably only their grandchildren (and beyond) will see the benefits.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/03/23 01:24 AM
1

Consuming a piece of Disney media or having a stuffed animal does not mean 'acting like a child', anymore than 'playing video games turn men into violent shooters'. Especially since so many self-proclaimed people with 'adult hobbies' easily lose their shit and throw temper tantrums whenever they don't get their way. People are all kinds of ways. And, at the end of the day, it's just escapism.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/03/23 01:20 AM
1

I'm aware that there are no free lunches, yes. But the long-term benefits, should such a reconstruction happen, will be very good for both sides. Doubly so if Ukraine joins the EU decades from now.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/03/23 01:16 AM
1

I like to think there will be continuous investment from the US and the EU in different areas, and reconstruction will be the next Purpose for them. German soldiers after WW1 were part of a different context, considering Germany wasn't partly bombed to smithereens like Ukraine has been, back then. Or saw their own civilians butchered and/or raped while being invaded by a much larger opponent.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/03/23 09:28 PM
1

Cute would be a more fitting word. It's no dealbreaker for me, in any case (and I'd probably watch a few Disney flicks with her).
/r/PurplePillDebate09/03/23 09:11 PM
2

No wars. Ukrainian men stare, blankly
/r/PurplePillDebate09/03/23 07:31 PM
3

C.S. Lewis said he read fairy tales at the age of 50. Anyone who judges someone's interests in media or hobbies of some kind as "childish" ought to shove it where the sun don't shine.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/03/23 05:20 PM
1

or hypocritically. This is not a good thing. It's one thing to have light flaws, but hipocrisy is a heavy flaw/sin. Especially when openly exhibited. I can agree with the rest (tho I still think we should all do our best to improve in order to avoid exhibiting bad habits or bad judgement, and not commit selfish acts that undermine the fabric of social relations).
/r/PurplePillDebate09/03/23 05:17 PM
2

This thread probably should've been flaired "Question For Women". Or for all people. Anyway, speaking as a former doormat, I think there are at least two types of doormats who don't elicit attraction from women: A) Ones who only show niceness, and no other side of their personality. For some women, this might be a yellow/red flag ("what's he hiding?"), even if it's genuine, altruistic niceness; B) Ones who do not elicit attraction (romantic and/or sexual) from women, especially ones he might've …
/r/PurplePillDebate09/03/23 05:09 PM
3

Never met anyone who lived at home past 19. Found the Nordic. Come to Southern Europe, and you'll see a very different picture. Or any area in Europe with low wages and insane housing market.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/03/23 03:44 PM
1

Little things matter, and I think we (men and women) could uplift men by doing little things that add up. Yeah, I firmly agree with that. All the best!
/r/PurplePillDebate07/03/23 01:57 PM
9

As times change, what is deemed noble and honorable also changes. In previous centuries, things such as honor killings or crimes of passion were considered to be noble and honorable in the West. Nowadays, they're not deemed so, and they're not acceptable, for various (justified) reasons. Things are always up for interpretation. Times are always a-changin', so, interpretations of words and/or social concepts also change with them.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/03/23 04:28 AM
1

JK Rowling is demonized just because she thinks biological differences matter. She is demonized for more than just thinking about biology (to the point that most of the actors who had a part in bringing her works to the screen have either parted ways or affirmed/reaffirmed their support for trans people's rights (or both). (For what it's worth, neither wealthy men nor wealthy women should be glorified, imo; simping for them does no one any good)
/r/PurplePillDebate07/03/23 01:48 AM
4

Autocratic regimes are somehow better at promoting little positive things for men than the west. That doesn't compensate for being thrown into the grinder in a pointless, ongoing war led by a despot who has gradually lost touch with reality. I'll take being invisible in a democracy over being cannon fodder in a dictatorship. Always.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/03/23 01:12 AM
7

I see you avoided reading what I said about common patterns of abuse and ostracism of some kind, and the implication I've made about statistical significance ("too many cases"). Or the cultural dynamics at play. Tell me what you really feel about this.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/03/23 08:47 PM
15

That's an isolated case. There are way too many cases out there with common patterns (of abuse by the partner, of ostracism by the religious communities). Stories like hers are not isolated (especially the further one goes outside western cultural norms)
/r/PurplePillDebate06/03/23 08:31 PM
2

Men have collaborated in numerous scientific, technological and cultural pursuits. And women have competed amongst themselves, in various areas (cultural and scientific, in particular). You have a narrow view of History.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/03/23 02:57 PM
1

I couldn't care less. The point is, when men wore heels women still loved them. You want to move goal posts? Not my problem. Stop being/sounding like an American with that 'not my problem' shit (my intention was about questioning your use of a historical fact(oid) in way that strikes me as biased, btw). I care about history and its nuances. And I don't trust most PPD'ers around here when it comes to historical accuracy. Won't bother you no more. Yeesh, most of you folks here get pissed off at th…
/r/PurplePillDebate02/03/23 12:47 AM
2

Yes, but did all past cultures had men wearing heels? I doubt it, heels weren't an universal thing. And again, wearing them in battle was more of a practical thing (either for battle or, in other civilizations, for certain rituals). (Basically what I'm saying is that any attraction by women to them were more of a bonus thing, not the first priority in their minds; kinda like women who - fairly so - wear makeup for themselves, not for the sake of a man) (I won't open links by Google, don't want t…
/r/PurplePillDebate01/03/23 09:29 PM
2

They wore them in battle (so, for practical purposes), not necessarily outside of it. But I'd rather defer to a historian well versed in Persian/Ancient Persian culture.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/03/23 08:56 PM
1

If you research on porn, you probably heard about a website called ifeelmyself.com. In their 'About' section: In its focus on male pleasure, mainstream pornography marginalises the female experience and often deprives it of its dignity. We want to do our part to restore the balance by creating images of female sexuality that are constructive, honest, and personal. If we really want to know everything there is to know about female pleasure, we need to look at it carefully and respectfully, to foc…
/r/PurplePillDebate28/02/23 02:29 PM
1

Watching porn is a choice. A terrible one. It’s unjustifiable. There is absolutely no good reason to consume pornography. Not one. What about listening to erotic audios? Done by women who have Patreon accounts, or even because they get a thrill out of such a hobby, and do so for free. Or reading erotic stories? Most readers and literotic writers are women. Not all food we consume is ethical, and porn is the same, sure. But we can investigate and select things that are less harmful than others, i…
/r/PurplePillDebate27/02/23 04:16 PM
1

There is a certain amount of words in the English language (both derived and imported) that come from the French language. For examples of auteurs, think Truffaut, Godard, Almodóvar, Jarmusch, Scorsese, Sergio Leone.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/02/23 04:07 PM
1

I wish people were more empathetic and supportive towards one another. Empathy is not gendered (since most humans have at least some amount of empathy), and it's reductive to assume otherwise. I want people to act like people, period. To have more empathy and be more supportive towards one another, regardless of gender, sex, sexual orientation, skin colour, and so forth. We've been seeing some progress here and there (especially compared to the days when, say, even military men couldn't talk abo…
/r/PurplePillDebate24/02/23 02:22 PM
4

Also European here. Don't forget how (some? many?) people there seem to treat everything in a transactional, super cold way.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/02/23 08:02 PM
2

she may be slightly emotionally abusive. Considering what I've read (and after participating) in the other thread about men opening up, I'm definitely in the single camp. And I never had a relationship, nor do I think I ever will. Which is saying something. The lack of empathy (from both genders) in this subreddit is fucking disgusting. Thankfully, real life is a lot better, and older women show a wonderful amount of empathy, compared to younger ones. Sadly, I'm too young for them (or they're to…
/r/PurplePillDebate23/02/23 05:25 PM
2

Is that all you got? Pity, I was hoping for something more constructive, not something dismissive. Have a good day.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/02/23 05:14 PM
1

How would you know? There are way too many responses and stories online, and most of them share common patterns and elements. To paraphrase the title of an old Elvis compilation: 50,000,000 Men Can't Be Wrong. Wouldn't a better way of guarding against it be to share emotions to filter them out, seeing as the only risk is someone who isn't a great partner leaving? I suspect there's: A mix of societal ramifications/consequences (a man's manhood/masculinity is often attacked, and said former partne…
/r/PurplePillDebate23/02/23 01:59 PM
1

It might not be the majority, but there's definitely a plurality. Much like with rape, it's not the majority, but there's a plurality that's substantial enough for genders to keep guard on these respective problems. So, women stay guarded in regards to their sexual sovereignity (for good/justifiable reasons), men stay guarded in regards to their emotional sovereignity (for good/justifiable reasons).
/r/PurplePillDebate23/02/23 05:35 AM
3

I've read stories throughout the years about guys who were bedrocks for their women's existential breakdowns or deep traumas, and were genuinely there for them, through thick and thin, listening and comforting them all the way. Why can't women do the same in return?
/r/PurplePillDebate23/02/23 05:21 AM
2

Have you not studied history? I doubt most of the US/UK people here even know about their countries' histories in detail, much less non-Anglo countries' histories.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/02/23 08:13 PM
2

Apart from bullying (and prison is a very different environment to the rest), it seems to me most of those things depend on the place where one lives in. And in any case, like in many areas of life, one can confide with someone who will show empathy, and compassion. If one vets people properly or has a strongly mutual emotional bond (regardless of romantic relationships or friendships of any kind), then there's no need to hide or repress emotions (some self-containment is necessary). Maybe it's …
/r/PurplePillDebate09/02/23 02:49 AM
1

It's bad enough to do that behavior to a female, but to show that weakness to another male is outright dangerous. Dangerous, how?!
/r/PurplePillDebate08/02/23 11:34 PM
1

Where to even begin? The concept of courtly love comes from the Middle Ages, not from the Romantic Era. Related to it, chivalry is a concept that may not have a clean origin, if Terry Jones (of Monty Python fame, RIP) is to be believed. The idea of being a gentleman has been badly taught, in the sense that has been taught only from the perspective of "how to do X to get Y girl/woman?" In other words, it doesn't translate neatly into real life, and social situations are sometimes more complex tha…
/r/PurplePillDebate06/02/23 07:40 PM
1

As someone who has a cat, does that study explain why the lesser attraction?
/r/PurplePillDebate06/02/23 07:27 PM
1

I don't like the concept of flags for these matters, but, if I may use them once for an easy comparison: Red flag: Excessive use of social media, seemingly no other interests than consulting everyone's socials, propensity to do the 'laundry' in public (talking or implying negative shit that happens behind doors, malicious gossip, etc.), constantly being on the phone, to name a few. Yellow flag: Use of social media to conflate the personal and the professional parts of life, or posting only about…
/r/PurplePillDebate06/02/23 07:21 PM
1

To say "Bless your heart" like that demonstrates a comprehensive understanding of the language I don't know about her, but with American culture being exported throughout the entire world (particularly through movies, music, or TV shows), a fair amount of non-Americans pick up some of your lingo. Especially those of us who grew up while watching/listening to your stuff.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/02/23 10:55 PM
1

That person made a lot of armchair assumptions about you. Ignore their questions.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/02/23 01:57 PM
1

She's a woman, you're a man, end of story. Anything else (up to an including toxic gender norms, or old fashioned homophobia) is on other people's minds. And said people like to assume shit or bully because they don't have much variety going on in their lives. (Conservative societies are harder to deal with, but that's what trailblazers do, they upset the apple cart, and so should you)
/r/PurplePillDebate03/02/23 01:33 AM
5

Just counter-attack by showing her appearance in Galaxy Quest.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/02/23 01:25 AM
11

The observation sounds too... "passionate" to be just an observation, if you get my drift. Furthermore, Ephialtes betrayed for a reward, yes, but it wasn't necessarily a woman. That is a concoction of popular media (the movies The 300 Spartans and 300). And he didn't even get his reward (and later ended up being killed by a guy called Athenades, for unrelated reasons), because the Persians were defeated at the battle of Salamis. Btw, OP's claims about Chinese women at the behest of the Party sou…
/r/PurplePillDebate16/01/23 10:56 PM
12

The implication is there, tho. OP is making doomy dooms of doom-level posting that are hard to take seriously, to boot.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/01/23 10:41 PM
1

A lot of them are shallow and based on status. Considering how some (many?) adult relationships seem to be that way, I wonder why maturity never comes for the people who engage in them.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/01/23 06:01 PM
2

Cuck as an insult and/or a mark of shame predates the modern era. The rest I agree.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/01/23 04:55 PM
1

/r/badhistory
/r/PurplePillDebate11/01/23 07:03 PM
1

If you don't mind, I'll take that as a flair.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/01/23 06:55 PM
1

Fair enough, and well done on calling him out :thumbsup:
/r/PurplePillDebate10/01/23 12:58 AM
1

That's awful. I would feel embarrassed if that happened to me (and even more if I did such a mistake).
/r/PurplePillDebate09/01/23 06:31 PM
0

I'm insecure af about my ability to fly with my arms, for example. Knowing about the limitations of one's physics is not an insecurity. A realistic example (such as driving-related anxieties, or not having a driver's license) is about how one feels inadequate in regards to a lack of something.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/01/23 01:58 PM
2

anarchistic anachronistic (anarchistic is derived from anarchy) ;)
/r/PurplePillDebate05/01/23 01:40 PM
2

If I may ask, does your drive remain high when outside of a relationship? I've read something about some women's sex drive being low when not in a relationship, but then going through the roof with their bf (or gf).
/r/PurplePillDebate05/01/23 01:43 AM
1

if a woman approaches a man and directly tells him “hey you’re cute, wanna go out/wanna fuck?” there’s a part of him that might wonder how many other guys she was that direct with, or it’s just straight up seen as masculine. The 'wanna fuck' (what woman even says that directly?) part sure, but the 'wanna go out' part would be fine, imho. I don't think about the whole 'seen as masculine' (unless said woman was a very butch type, looks-wise). As for the 'how many guys' bit, I'd wonder about that i…
/r/PurplePillDebate04/01/23 04:33 PM
1

Fair. But one shouldn't expect everybody to be informed about every two-timer trafficker like this Tate prick. (that being said, pretending one doesn't know is indeed a yellow/red flag)
/r/PurplePillDebate30/12/22 03:07 AM
1

I'm not American, and I'm aware of that guy because I'm online. But he's not all that noteworthy outside of the internet (especially the further you go outside of the Western world, and I say this as someone from a Western country). There are bigger matters on the news. And, for people into celebrities and insta fuckers, there are others to pick from instead of that guy in my country. If that's a red flag to you, then I don't know what to say. You Americans need to stop paying attention to grift…
/r/PurplePillDebate29/12/22 05:31 PM
1

but they constantly resort to “human trafficker” and “rapist” which holds no weight. Well, there have been raids: The two Britons, Andrew Tate and Tristan Tate, in whose villa prosecutors and police found two young girls, one with American nationality and one Romanian, were targeted Thursday, December 29, by DIICOT searches, judicial sources told Libertatea. Tristan and Andrew Tate will be taken to DIICOT hearings later today on suspicion of setting up an organised criminal group that used girls…
/r/PurplePillDebate29/12/22 04:10 PM
1

In ancient civilisations women had a far more active role in government and decision making Ancient Greece and Rome say no. Especially the former. Patriarchy as we know it was actually born in the middle Ages out of religion. It existed before that. Before the Middle Ages (even before the Roman Empire fell), interestingly enough, Christianity had a lot of appeal amongst women (see the Desert Mothers, for one small example).
/r/PurplePillDebate27/12/22 09:49 PM
3

You sound very full of yourself. I hope you don't act this way in real life towards your European friends. Signed: An European.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/12/22 12:44 PM
1

That seems to go right back into sex ed matters (lack of sex ed knowledge about bodily functions or the intricancies of anal. Even if there are no sex ed classes, one can be taught to search proper information and to think critically without going into the subject itself. You can tell him it's fantasy, but a fantasy compared to what? He has no frame of reference. Same way one teaches a kid after watching an action movie, or an anime series. Parental proximity and/or healthy in-school socializati…
/r/PurplePillDebate20/12/22 11:33 PM
2

Similarly if the woman was the blue collar worker in this scenario a PhD student might not be interested in her constantly talking about welding joint techniques. People aren't usually interested in constant talk about work stuff (unless they happen to work in the same or similar areas of expertise). But it's reasonable to assume working class women have interests beyond her line of work.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/12/22 11:06 PM
2

when their partner does something to break a boundary and it's usually because he saw something in porn and thought it was okay, at least that's their stated experience. It's a story I've seen many times. Marital rape is something that existed prior to the wide spread of porn (and even before porn itself). I know because I've read a book by a feminist woman who went into detail about various cases of it that caught her attention (particularly those of a upper middle class to wealthy class). And,…
/r/PurplePillDebate20/12/22 10:53 PM
1

I am not against porn, in the same way I am not against watching a netflix show or eating McDonalds but it should be a “ treat” and not your daily go to. Do you think the same of social media and heavy smartphone use?
/r/PurplePillDebate20/12/22 10:31 PM
1

and he's probably fucking 18 year old supermodels when his wife isn't around. Messi is not that type of footballer. If there's a massively well-known footballer who I would pick to be fully honest and faithful, he's the one. Also, sports is not a surefire way of making a fortune. Many footballers who were talented at their art but not at other areas of life ended up fucked along the way, or only make a modest living from it. To not say of the many African kids who were dropped by agents along th…
/r/PurplePillDebate20/12/22 10:28 PM
2

Conscription has never been common and was practically unheard of before the world wars Revolutionary France says hi.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/12/22 10:07 PM
2

If you're threatening to end a relationship with someone because they do not want monogamy, that's coercion by today's societal standards. Yes, simply threatening to end a relationship is "coercion" now. If someone wants mono and you want poly, that someone has the right to break up with you, and each should go their own way. Incompatible values and all that. There's no need for a threat, that someone can just stand their ground and tell you to fuck off. And, besides, where does the coercion thi…
/r/PurplePillDebate16/12/22 09:07 PM
7

you won't be able to upgrade. Upgrades in monogamous relationships are also a thing. Haven't you heard of a thing called marriage? Or simply growing old together and be content with one another, and sharing their lives with one another, regardless of marriage.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/12/22 04:25 PM
1

Not to diminish your experience, but I assume lesbian dating dynamics are fairly different from hetereosexual norms and expectations, no? Plus, women (particularly those outside heteronormativity) tend to be more accepting of non-neuroypical women, no?
/r/PurplePillDebate15/12/22 07:13 PM
2

Although a whip is an iconic part of the BDSM gear, not all dominatrixes use whips. Nor all bondage and domination is extreme (some can be quite soft, as in, not too kinky, and the femdom woman goes for a soft/nurturing approach). It is like how women climb the ladder in a company they take on more and more masculine roles as defined by the patriarchy. Isn't this a capitalism thing (or even a human systems thing in general), at the end of the day? Some feminists are trying to break the final job…
/r/PurplePillDebate08/12/22 01:18 AM
2

Can you explain how dominatrixes / femdom women are abused, then?
/r/PurplePillDebate07/12/22 11:47 PM
1

Sarcasm is not a virtue, american. Neither is arrogance or snobbery, for that matter.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/11/22 06:05 PM
1

Is there anything more exciting than watching a sport where the majority of games end in a 0-0 tie? How in the name of Christ did this boring ass sport rise to the most popular sport on the planet? Well, at the moment, Cameroon is level 3-3 with Serbia. Go watch the match and let me know if your opinion changed. But of course, some Americans will never change their opinion, and will always give their snobby (and stereotypical) opinion towards the closest thing we have to a global sport. Kinda li…
/r/PurplePillDebate28/11/22 11:44 AM
6

Not all men went off to fight in wars (especially offensive wars). Old, physically handicapped, too young, or members from certain nobilities and clergy exempted from recruitment, to name some examples, remained behind to work on the fields or trade. The idea of most men going off to fight in war was more of a thing with conscription/levée en masse, which became truly prominent only from the French Revolution onwards.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/11/22 04:04 PM
5

They're out there. They're not going to put up a sign saying they are (because male virginity is deemed to be a mark of shame/failure by society, especially from the mid-20's onwards), but you have probably interacted with male virgins at work, at the market, family relatives' or friends' weddings, in bars or other places suitable for dating, and so forth. I'm not going to tell you to use an app (because I don't use them myself), but, if all else fails, you can always use one that will allow you…
/r/PurplePillDebate16/11/22 09:48 PM
1

I tried to take a man’s virginity before the pandemic hit and he wasn’t having it, which made me want him more lol. He stuck to his convictions and it never happened, which I have to respect immensely in this day & age! My bff also tried for a few months to take a man’s virginity and he turned her down. How old were they, if I may ask? Such attitudes tend to be more admirable when they're in their 20's, but perceptions probably change from the 30's onwards.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/11/22 09:11 PM
2

There are many out there (and there's bound to be a fair amount who are very well adjusted in other areas of life, including socialization), and the younger generations are increasing in terms of percentages (iirc). Maybe you're just not looking hard enough for virgin men within your age range?
/r/PurplePillDebate16/11/22 09:08 PM
1

Karen, because it's a derogatory term invented by men Wasn't the origin of term rooted in African-American culture? I'm not American, but this is from the wiki page on the term: In African-American culture, there is a history of calling difficult white women or those who "weaponize" their position by a generic pejorative name. In the antebellum era (1815–1861), "Miss Ann" was used. In the early 1990s, "Becky" was used. As late as 2018, before the use of "Karen" caught on, alliterative names matc…
/r/PurplePillDebate15/11/22 06:05 PM
1

it’s a good idea to also care about your appearance Sure. But if I do so (and I do, with occasional skin care and taking care of my hair and beard), it's because it's for my own sake. Not for the sake of someone else's expectations. I wear the clothes I wear because I want to feel comfortable (only exceptions being special events like weddings, baptisms, etc.). Style to me doesn't mean much, and I have other recreational priorities in my daily life I'd rather focus on.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/11/22 04:06 PM
1

Fair. But I still think one's public image is something that should be done only according to one's own motivations, not because of someone else's expectations. As for physical appearance and dressing, I still think it's something people should do for the sake of their own comfort, not compatibility (for that, it's where personality and values come in). Comfort > style, imho.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/11/22 03:52 PM
2

Because the point of finding a partner is finding someone you can be yourself around and not have to fake something in order to keep their interest. I have zero interest in attracting women by pretending I'm something I'm not. You have a good mindset. Keep it up, and stay true to your self :)
/r/PurplePillDebate15/11/22 03:46 PM
1

and focus on creating a persona and look that would be attractive to that type of person Doesn't that clash with "just be yourself" advice? Not to mention that 'creating a persona' feels like pretending to be someone else (in order to be subservient to other people's expectations and personalities, imo). The mask, at some point in the relationship, is gonna be let down or, worse, crack down. Creating a persona is good advice for actors, musicians, and other creative types in their areas of work …
/r/PurplePillDebate15/11/22 03:42 PM
2

Men have varied tastes. Some like the runway model body, others don't. Others are open to various types of bodies. Others only want a very specific type of body. People be different. shrugs
/r/PurplePillDebate15/11/22 01:55 PM
3

Because their taking out their insecurities on the other person rather than dealing with them themselves, expecting others to solve their problem. That's not an exclusive to either gender. But women are still encouraged and considered empowered (which is a good thing) when talking about their problems, insecurities, and so forth. Men are not so socially accepted or lucky in this matter, except (maybe) with close relatives.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/11/22 06:29 PM
1

Perhaps. I know there are many boys who lack various skills (and I certainly would be proof of that, if I didn't have brothers who taught me some). A consequence of parents working a lot during one's infant years and prioritizing other types of education for their kids, I guess.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/11/22 11:54 AM
1

I'll have to disagree on that. Too often I've read something along the lines of "don't want to be his training wheels", or negative assumptions on the rest of someone's life (a man can have friends of both genders, a loving family, and a job, and still be a virgin, for multiple reasons, after all). Including this very subreddit. Virgin shaming is a cultural attitude that is still prevalent, and both men and women partake in it. Men are the bigger targets of it, from high school onwards (tho wome…
/r/PurplePillDebate10/11/22 11:48 AM
1

-I guess liking corsets is a red flag now How so? Maybe people who are vanilla associate it with BDSM, and are put off by it? Or is there something else at play?
/r/PurplePillDebate10/11/22 02:51 AM
3

From one of the comments I read here: I’ve never had a boyfriend and I’ve never slept with anyone. I think this one (replace boyfriend with girlfriend, needless to say) is usually considered as a red flag for men (and this subreddit shows), while it's not necessarily so for women. Whether consciously or unconsciously, and probably due to historical patterns (male virginity - shamed, unless it's for religious reasons or some specific dedication to a subject; female virginity - put on a pedestal, …
/r/PurplePillDebate10/11/22 02:49 AM
2

Has this subreddit ever done a survey on nationality? I assume most here are Americans (with some British, Canadians and Australians mixed in), but I would like to see some data, out of curiosity.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/11/22 02:30 AM
1

Parents and teachers invest more in boys and teach them more skills. I've been reading for quite a while now about boys being more and more left behind and not acquiring skills, and not being able to reach the upper levels of education, or, even if they reach, being unable to maintain the dedication and end up with no clear course in life. Or being discouraged from acquiring certain areas or skills that would be useful to them. Whereas women seem to thrive by and large in regards to universities…
/r/PurplePillDebate10/11/22 01:06 AM
1

Modern day Russia and China have long left their attempts at communism behind (state capitalism is their thing). But some of you (Americans, presumably) are still stuck in Cold War propaganda.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/11/22 07:05 PM
-1

I think women were kinder to me because of it, even though it did not make me attractive as a partner at all. They probably didn't register you as being into women. Many guys like you ended up being perceived as being the 'gay best friend', even though (presumably, you and) they're het.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/11/22 01:52 PM
4

Where are all the women making fun of teenage boys? On T|kT0k as well. Like all other web-based media, you can find just about everything out there. Algorithms can lead you to anything you want.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/11/22 01:49 PM
6

(speaking about US here) Most people in the world aren't American. Besides, it may not seem that way on the surface, but prosperity is always the highest before stagnation or downfall (which is what climate change and the increasing income & wealth inequality will cause). Good times don't last forever.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/10/22 02:34 PM
5

Seems like those two groups need to date one another. /s
/r/PurplePillDebate30/10/22 12:21 PM
1

You aren’t going to change how women express themselves or show love or interest. Indeed, I won't. It's future women (and men) who will. Evolution may outline the base parameters, but attitudes are always prone to change. Besides, there are women who verbally ask already, and reproducing is not the goal of all men and women, anyway. I also wonder if a "school of socialization" for teenagers would do wonders for both sexes, with teachers from both sexes educating them on various areas, from the r…
/r/PurplePillDebate29/10/22 10:55 PM
2

Men, mostly. I do live in a fairly conservative area, so that makes sense. Women tend to call me a pick me Sorry it happened to you, it seems a noticeable amount of people from both genders don't get you or are beholden to old attitudes, on account of where you are. (On the other hand, from what I've read, the 'pick me' derogatory calls also happen in more liberal areas; it will take time for mentalities to change, sadly)
/r/PurplePillDebate29/10/22 03:20 PM
0

Non-verbal first moves do not always register for a lot of men. Especially men who have a bit of a handicap when it comes to understanding body language, or "eye reading". And even ones who do understand are still prone to occasionally misunderstanding it (e.g. confusing a platonic smile for actual romantic and/or sexual interest). As with many things, the clearest approach is to verbalize it.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/10/22 03:09 PM
2

You have a solid attitude. Best of luck, and may you find an awesome guy.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/10/22 03:02 PM
2

I wish we were more advanced as a society. I wish men would pursue women like they did in the courtship my grandparents had. I don't think both things will be possible. Especially with the technological differences between our days and your grandparents' days. We're in a state of transition, anyway. Who knows how courtship will be like 10 years from now, and even more so in the next decades. Out of curiosity, who called you clingy or crazy more? Was it the men or the women in your circles?
/r/PurplePillDebate29/10/22 02:56 PM
1

Perhaps not, but if it leads to more empathy for the male condition (and vice-versa, in regards to transwomen, when it comes to the female condition), it's still good, in my view. And, at the end of the day, once the transition is concluded, transmen are men and should easily integrate with the rest of us.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/10/22 11:13 AM
1

To be fair, she did talk about transmen and how they feel during their testosterone injections, not just herself.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/10/22 11:26 PM
3

It's not just testosterone-based, indeed. Still, sex drives do vary amongst men to a great level. Some have such a drive it hinders their ability to study/work, other have it so low it takes a lot for them to get turned on (and, nowadays, demisexuality/asexuality is a recognizable thing, to boot). In the past, there might have been: a) less gap/variance in terms of T levels between men; b) cultural/social norms preventing men from indulging too much in it (well, at least in public: porn wasn't a…
/r/PurplePillDebate27/10/22 06:49 PM
4

True, there are a lot of men in their late 30's/40's who seem to go through some midlife crisis of sorts, and part of it is due to that loss of vitality, or of attractive physical parts that they have. Either due to genetics and/or excessive hedonism (excessive working hours and lack of balance with the personal life are also serious problems), it all catches up. But ultimately, we all have to face the music. To age as gracefully as possible. And not just in terms of the physical.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/10/22 01:11 AM
14

MAJORITY of men and women will pick their 20s. Looking back on my 20's, I prefer the way I look in my 30's, at the moment. Might be because my 20's were for the most part a lost decade for me (partly due to wrong choices and some mental problems), and only began to seriously look after myself (e.g. more exercise, better food, some skin care) by the end of said decade. Oddly enough, I've had people telling me I look like I'm in my early 20's. A married fella even thought I was 17(?!), somehow. (E…
/r/PurplePillDebate27/10/22 12:05 AM
1

As a guy who never understood the appeal of sending dick pics, sure. I was only talking about fixation on the attractiveness of a person (and a public figure, to boot), not going for the main topic.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/10/22 03:20 PM
1

Are you a woman, by any chance? Or a demisexual/asexual person? The urge is more intense in men (and heterosexual men, in particular), if they haven't experienced it as well. I certainly felt a mad urge (which didn't help combined with a depression that took years until I finally decided to get diagnosed) in my 20's. (Speaking as a virgin man, but whose urge is gradually diminishing)
/r/PurplePillDebate26/10/22 03:11 PM
1

And it was a full shot So, same as lots of guys, in regards to women (celebrities in particular). Lots of them also enjoy the full package. (Not attacking you, btw, just pointing out that there are occasional similarities - or at least parallels - between men and women in some areas)
/r/PurplePillDebate26/10/22 02:45 PM
4

Why would I hang out with a man one-on-one unless I were attracted to him? I don't know about you, but there are women who hang out with men because they're close friends. Not fwb, they're purely on platonic terms. Men and women can be friends. Hanging out doesn't necessarily mean interest, unless there's verbal communication that denotes it so.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/10/22 02:08 PM
3

There is a middle road between single homes built in a territorial-like way (while looking exactly the same to the next house and requiring cars to get anywhere), and concrete-filled blocks. It's a road the US could easily achieve, and far quicker than most countries. Think building duplexes, or 3-4 floor apartments with enough space (and maybe even a backyard garden/playground surrounded by said apartments, for use by the people who live in those). The stacked on top of each other like rats par…
/r/PurplePillDebate17/10/22 08:33 PM
1

Is there even an equivalent of 'old maid' or 'cat lad' for older eligible men? If said men happen to be virgins, there probably is (plus the whole virgin shaming thing, which goes back to ancient Roman times, it seems). Or they're just called 'loser' or 'low value' (or some other Anglo/American term; I'm not a native speaker, so, I'm not knowledgeable about the full lingo). Even if they're ok in other areas of life.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/10/22 05:53 PM
11

Lack of socialization was already a thing before the internet: Sprawling suburban planning (this is especially true in the US, but my country also has a bit of that, and the paranoid/isolating mentality that goes along with it); Over-emphasis on individualism to the detriment of community building; Poor or outright lack of work-life balance; Gradual decline of social and health services, due to a profit über alles mentality; Toxic social and workplace attitudes; And so on and so forth. The inter…
/r/PurplePillDebate17/10/22 01:52 PM
1

Why should women ask out a man who clearly doesn’t have an interest in her? How can one know that? Non-verbal postures/gestures are not necessarily indicative of interest (and this goes for both genders, a mere smile or a neutral expression don't necessarily mean/imply anything).
/r/PurplePillDebate17/10/22 03:56 AM
1

I don't know about the dating scene, but some of the comments here wouldn't make me willing to even be friends with people here. There's some serious unhinged commentary around this place. And some siege mentality, as well. Looking from the (geographical) outside, things look very fucked up in the US (and maybe Canada or the UK, to a lesser extent). And I say this as someone who never had a relationship or sex (but at least had dates and made friends from both genders throughout the years).
/r/PurplePillDebate14/10/22 04:39 PM
0

I always lurk when here (out of a sense of curiosity, given I'm not a native English speaker, but don't feel I'm qualified to speak on Anglo/American gender relations), but: It's very uncommon to masturbate to a book. Don't women (and men) masturbate to written erotica (Literotica or AO3 stories, dirty novels)? If you can't even visualise what masturbation without porn is like Are we talking visual porn only? Because erotic audio is all the rage these days, no need for pictures.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/10/22 12:59 PM
You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

© TheRedArchive 2026. All rights reserved.
created by /u/dream-hunter