Crotchlobsterz Archive

Upvotes	Title	Category	Author	Subreddit	Date (UTC)

Upvotes	Comment on	Subreddit	Date (UTC)
1	Paralyzed physically, what to do? I’m sure I’m not the first to say this, but it’s going to take time. Put together a routine you can stick to everyday. You don’t need to plan it all out, but within a couple of weeks you’ll be on the road to building good habits. Routine does a few helpful things. It gives you back some of the precious mental energy you need to see clearly as you aren’t spending it deliberating about what to do each morning with your upcoming day. It also allows you to kick the spongy pink thing in your our head…	/r/Divorce_Men	15/05/23 01:41 PM
5	My Horror Story...or don't give up hope gents, it might get better eventually, fingers crossed 🤞 Today I rolled a cigarette, looking forward to leaving the confines of walls for a few short moments. After lighting the cigarette, I felt unenjoyment. After inspecting the thing, I saw a tear towards the end where I held it. I continued smoking because the sunshine was better than the walls. Whether it’s exactly what we want or just slightly better than where we were, the wise man notices the difference. -Confusions	/r/Divorce_Men	28/04/23 10:22 PM
5	It’s basically Over “Get some confidence, Stupid” -Troy McClure From your account of things, that sure sucks balls. From mine, it sounds like heaven. I haven’t seen my beautiful children in 10 months as of today and there’s no end in sight. You can still turn this around, as I will too. What’s your goal? Spending more time with your kids or feeling wronged? Every time you see those cherubs, savor it and they will enjoy the radiance of your joy. Continue feeling that joy even when they’re not in your presence. Soon …	/r/Divorce_Men	27/04/23 12:29 AM
14	Anybody not have a dead bedroom? Yes, she’s extraordinarily beautiful. No doubt plenty of dudes wanna tag, but she didn’t leave because she was interested in another man, she left because she blamed all of her psychiatric troubles on me. We were together for twenty years and I was dumb enough to believe that because I’d kept her problems under wraps that long, I could indefinitely. One of our first dates was me picking her up from her psychiatrist, grabbing her klonopin script, then going to dinner. That was 2002.	/r/Divorce_Men	22/04/23 06:21 PM
18	Anybody not have a dead bedroom? That was probably the biggest reason I was surprised that she left. We’d always had a great sex life. Honestly, it kept me around as well. Also kept me trying much longer than I should have attempting to salvage the relationship.	/r/Divorce_Men	22/04/23 03:34 PM
2	Sensitive Advice Needed Yes, the “I have no problem shacking up with a married woman” thing is not a tick in the favorable attributes side of the ledger for sure. Potentially opening with a hey, I think you oughta know we’re getting divorced and she’s taking your daughter to live with her new boyfriend, I’m here to give you any info I can if you wanna talk about it, could be a non-threatening way to approach it, but you know your situation and I’m confident you’ll do whatever it takes to keep your daughter safe. Good l…	/r/Divorce_Men	21/04/23 11:23 PM
3	TOH for custody set. Ask your attorney about a guardian ad litem. May be helpful.	/r/Divorce_Men	21/04/23 10:24 PM
2	Different problem - decorating There are a few subreddits on the subject too. Mancave, garage porn, etc.	/r/Divorce_Men	21/04/23 10:22 PM
1	The Grieving Process Whoa. Hold on there. I completely understand those feelings of hopelessness, but every minute you’re alive is an opportunity for a better outcome. Pablum, yes. Helpful right now, maybe. How do we work on ourselves as everyone here seems to suggest? The one and only thing I’ve found that works is by measuring. Pick one thing you want and can measure. Then keep track of it. Our spongy pink blobs love to focus on the negative (hey, it’s a good way to keep us alive), but they have a lot more trouble…	/r/Divorce_Men	21/04/23 09:26 PM
1	Different problem - decorating So you’re saying that you don’t personally care about your accoutrements? Reading many of your previous posts, I thought you grabbed life by the balls in all of its facets. I by no means am trying to be rude, just wondering about other dudes and what they value/spend their time on. May I ask, what are your thoughts on clothing? Do you allow others to give input or do you do your own shopping?	/r/Divorce_Men	21/04/23 08:58 PM
1	How do you deal with your new financial uncertainty? Character is built during our difficult times, not the fun and easy ones. It’s hard nonetheless, but try your best to remember that you will be stronger on the other side of this.	/r/Divorce_Men	21/04/23 08:50 PM
1	How do you deal with your new financial uncertainty? I’m sorry that you’re going through this too. When we’re at the end of our lives and are thinking about what matters, will it be the size of our bank accounts? Not for me it won’t. It’ll be seeing my two beautiful boys living out their lives and dreams. I have my own dreams and aspirations as well, but I didn’t bring two little people into this world believing it would be easy or my job stopped once their mother decided to make bad choices. Part of being a man is action, not words, but deeds.	/r/Divorce_Men	21/04/23 08:48 PM
1	Sensitive Advice Needed You have one thing going for you, which is that you’re dealing with a man and not another woman (hopefully he is a man in the traditional sense of the word). Do you feel confident that he will put his child’s welfare above all? If so, then approaching him (however you decide to do such) with a true concern for this little person, will most likely be the best opening. If you’re not sure and could put both yourself and the little people at risk of further damage in the future, you may need to forg…	/r/Divorce_Men	21/04/23 08:20 PM
2	Sensitive Advice Needed Do you perhaps have a way to “test the waters” before going straight into the whole situation? I mean, yeah, my enemy’s enemy is my friend and all, but if I were in his position, I’d be hesitant to talk to you, to say the least. Could you contact him and invite him to meet you for a beer on you somewhere? If he senses that you’re just in it for your own gain and not his welfare, expect resistance.	/r/Divorce_Men	21/04/23 08:05 PM
1	How do you deal with your new financial uncertainty? My actions in a similar situation have been that I will go bankrupt multiple times over if necessary to be with my children again. I will not allow her to continue to control every aspect of this and it infuriates her. She left, yet I had to initiate the divorce because (in the US at least) if we’re still married she can indefinitely keep my children from me. She has all of the resources to prolong this and has done everything possible to prevent my reunification with my two young sons. The cour…	/r/Divorce_Men	21/04/23 07:54 PM
1	Filed today Spectacular! So if I understand correctly, she will get a slight increase in alimony, while you get to make sure your child is in the best possible position? This is masculinity at its finest. Truly good work. Could I bend your ear sometime? I certainly don’t have it all figured out and have been so relieved to find this place.	/r/Divorce_Men	21/04/23 07:26 PM
3	Cheating Wife's lawyer reached out it's divorce time Your ego is speaking from this post and rightfully so. Get it out here and keep your yap shut everywhere else. I have no idea if the broad cheated or just decided to walk out that day. While it’d be nice to know, it doesn’t change the predicament I’m in. She took my boys and I haven’t seen them in close to a year. You’re obviously a tough motherfucker and as long as you keep going in that direction, you’ll only improve. Eventually you will be on top (unless you like cowgirl 🤠) in every metric. T…	/r/Divorce_Men	21/04/23 07:16 PM
2	Filed today I hope you’re smiling right now, because I am! While I can understand your hesitancy to push forward with the agreement as it currently stands, you’ll put yourself at a significant disadvantage in the future if you try to modify it in anyway in her favor. Sideways glances from colleagues aren’t fun, but neither is this process. You didn’t ask for this to happen and if you hold your head high and project the confidence of a job well done in a terrible situation, every person with a backbone will …	/r/Divorce_Men	21/04/23 07:03 PM
1	Gents, I need help Get an attorney to put it into a proper format. They’ll also be able to suss out if you’ve missed anything. While I’d never tell the other party I’ve done such (until it’s time to have them sign), you know your own situation and what’s best, but a judge will appreciate the forethought and clear delineation of a true legal document.	/r/Divorce_Men	21/04/23 06:51 PM
2	Different problem - decorating Do you happen to know any beer salesmen? The crazy amount of cool gear they’re given is awesome. A quick retelling of your situation and you’ll most likely end up with a ton of swag and a few new buddies who wanna come kick it at the new pad. Rule #1- if you like it, it goes. Rule#2- when you get bored of it or realize it doesn’t work for you anymore, dumpsters are great.	/r/Divorce_Men	21/04/23 06:46 PM
3	Can’t believe I’m here Grab the yellow pages and call every attorney that handles matrimonial law in your area. “Oh, you can’t see me for a consultation within 3 months? No problem, pencil me in”. Take her options off the table and potentially find out who she’s retained if you’re told they’re not able to work with you. There’s such an amazing group of dudes here who give spectacular advice and just as with anything else in life, it’s up to you to make the decisions. Good luck and remember that you’re in the shittiest…	/r/Divorce_Men	21/04/23 06:39 PM
1	The Grieving Process It’s an amazing testament to who you are that you don’t begrudge your spouse right now. Hats off. I’m finding that my lack of believing what could happen to me did and I’m paying the price for it. Get creative about what the best solutions to your predicament could be and if you spare yourself the painful solutions now, you might very well end up with more heartache (walletache, child-ache) than you would if you face this with the openness of realizing it could easily go south at any moment. You…	/r/Divorce_Men	21/04/23 06:32 PM
1	Feeling Trapped It’s great that you’re thinking about potential outcomes and seriously considering the consequences of each one. I must ask, is there any other possible outcome sans the 3 you listed? How about you win and your children are happy and cared for? One cannot live proleptically (what if this, what if that) and not expect it to color their actual outcome. What may not seem or sound possible right now will not make the end result better if you don’t have a the perfect result in mind. Do you think your…	/r/Divorce_Men	21/04/23 06:24 PM
1	Big medical expense before divorce If you want the work done, do it. I think you’re having trouble properly chewing your food.	/r/Divorce_Men	18/04/23 07:07 PM
1	I got a date in a week Good for you! You’ve got a date. If she flakes or you shove your head up your ass during the date, that’s normal. I bet many of us had tons of potential poon while married and blew it off. Now we’re single and wondering “where’d the tang go”? Sliding into a date and sliding into home plate are two different things, but with practice (like anything in life) they get easier. Either way, great step forward!	/r/Divorce_Men	18/04/23 05:47 PM
1	Hey guys! Need some advice Everything said before is great advice, but knowing you’re having “a little trouble with your equipment”, I’d say head to the gas station and grab some boner pills. Wait two hours after ingestion and give the old pud a wank. Did it work? We’re super lucky that we don’t live pre-90’s in this respect at least, previous to the release of sildenafil (viagra), the only pharmaceutical solution was an opium derivative called papaverine which needed to be directly injected into the base of the penis. Th…	/r/Divorce_Men	18/04/23 05:32 PM