~ archived since 2018 ~
~ archived since 2018 ~
| Upvotes | Comment on | Subreddit | Date (UTC) |
|---|---|---|---|
| 1 | I treated her like shit and yet she keeps coming back, I'm feeling like crap for my actions... how can I get over this feeling?Well, considering she does stuff for me and after I push her, she's always happy to be around... I guess she is lol | /r/askTRP | 25/11/19 03:28 AM |
| 1 | I treated her like shit and yet she keeps coming back, I'm feeling like crap for my actions... how can I get over this feeling?yes, I know dude, that's why I feel bad, I'm a jerk and I'm not doing it on purpose :) | /r/askTRP | 25/11/19 03:28 AM |
| 1 | I treated her like shit and yet she keeps coming back, I'm feeling like crap for my actions... how can I get over this feeling?Then I hate to feel like crap lol. The idea that someone who’s nice to me and clearly into me may get away cause I treated her like crap is pissing me off. I get,it, it hasn’t happened yet, but I can’t help feel this way | /r/askTRP | 24/11/19 09:57 PM |
| 3 | I treated her like shit and yet she keeps coming back, I'm feeling like crap for my actions... how can I get over this feeling?Usually verbal. Eg, I have no issues making fun of her or calling her out on her BS (like, she’s 28 and still living with mum and dad? Come on) It comes up in different ways, but I usually only realize I may have hurt her after the fact. The other day she was cleaning a mug and was asking why the bottom wouldn’t clean all the way to white, to which I said “it’s probably discolored, no worries... is that one of the first mugs you wash?” I said it mockingly cause I know her mum does tons of shit f… | /r/askTRP | 24/11/19 09:53 PM |
| 1 | I treated her like shit and yet she keeps coming back, I'm feeling like crap for my actions... how can I get over this feeling?Cause she’s (I think) LtR material and also into me and as I said, I want an LTR, got tired of fucking girls that lead nowhere. At least that’s how I feel at the moment | /r/askTRP | 24/11/19 09:45 PM |
| 4 | I treated her like shit and yet she keeps coming back, I'm feeling like crap for my actions... how can I get over this feeling?yeah, "just be yourself", right? come on... | /r/askTRP | 24/11/19 04:22 PM |
| 0 | So, let me get this straight: the more attractive you become, the less women will tell you they have a “boyfriend”, even if they do?the same thing they told you on the other comments: if it's a real boyfriend, back the fuck out you loser. if it's not, then escalate and maintain frame. is that so hard, or do you need the secret cheat code? left left up down triangle circle R6. Trust me, it works. | /r/askTRP | 11/11/19 06:36 AM |
| 2 | So, let me get this straight: the more attractive you become, the less women will tell you they have a “boyfriend”, even if they do?you are exaggerating this. How many women branch swing only when they know they have an alternative? Are all guys supposed to act like monks for fear of a loser going postal? It's about not being a dick about it. A little flirting is one thing, sticking your tongue down her throat and slapping her ass in front of the boyfriend or the boyfriend's friends, that's another matter. | /r/askTRP | 11/11/19 06:34 AM |
| 6 | So, let me get this straight: the more attractive you become, the less women will tell you they have a “boyfriend”, even if they do?Dating, fucking, kissing, etc, I agree. Flirting? Come on... Everyone does it, just don't do it in front of him/his friends and keep it under control. If you are dumb enough to flaunt your dick in front of the guy, then that's another matter. | /r/askTRP | 11/11/19 06:32 AM |
| 1 | So, let me get this straight: the more attractive you become, the less women will tell you they have a “boyfriend”, even if they do?what about finding another woman you fucking loser? LMAO | /r/askTRP | 11/11/19 06:30 AM |
| 20 | So, let me get this straight: the more attractive you become, the less women will tell you they have a “boyfriend”, even if they do?It's not about how good looking you are, sometimes it's about your SMV relative to her SMV. If she sees you as way better than she is, then you are game, even if you are not yourself a 10. In either case, yes, they avoid bringing up their husband/boyfriend a lot. I once flirted a lot with a girl who was not ugly at all (let's say 7/8) who was dating a fat southamerican colombian that was no more than a 5 and looked like a dork. His name literally came up once or twice in the 40-50 convos we had.… | /r/askTRP | 10/11/19 07:12 PM |
| 1 | How much can a women's gossip ruin your reputation at work?Fuck you loser, learn from me and stop feeling bad about your own life lol | /r/askTRP | 19/09/17 07:01 PM |
| 1 | How much can a women's gossip ruin your reputation at work?Sorry but you are too late, I won. She got fired last friday. I have new member on my team now who I get to support only how and when I want to. No pussy issues anymore. Just be careful not to step on your balls when they fall... ;) | /r/askTRP | 19/09/17 07:00 PM |
| 1 | How much can a women's gossip ruin your reputation at work?Na bro, you overestimated yourself Fuck you lol, you have no idea what you are talking about, that's why I tried to clarify. If, on the other hand, you wanna hamster your way into convincing yourself, good for you man, seriously, good for you lmao | /r/askTRP | 18/09/17 06:11 AM |
| 1 | How much can a women's gossip ruin your reputation at work?Hi man, I'm the same guy who posted here As you can see, I have a shit boss and a shit coworker-underling, both of them pissing me off in different ways. Last week I finally managed to get a good idea on how these two fit together. She recognizes me as senior but doesn't recognize me as having authority over her because, guess what, the stupid idiot of my boss didn't tell her that. He's basically hoping for things to work out "naturally" and, while he wants me to act as a lead, he doesn't want t… | /r/askTRP | 17/09/17 04:02 PM |
| 1 | How much can a women's gossip ruin your reputation at work?sorry for the late reply. We work in IT (computer programmers), and I still don't see where I fucked up. I was told to support a coworker (I was not her superior, just on equal footing), and that's what I did. When she started acting like an entitled bitch, I didn't wanna throw her under the bus and I let her dig her own grave. I focused on my own job, it wasn't my job to teach, train and then report on her. Just support her at first on the tech we use and so on. Nothing more. Because of this, I… | /r/askTRP | 17/09/17 02:11 PM |
| 1 | How much can a women's gossip ruin your reputation at work?Short follow up :) After a few weeks things made a turn for the worst, albeit it didn't touch me directly. The woman got a assigned a task (learn tech X) a couple of months back. She then proceeded to dump half that workload onto other people, and after weeks of approaching the task the wrong way, she zealously complain to the point of making my boss drop the project and, potentially, the client. I was not involved in that activity so I stayed out of it. However, I observed, and what I saw was i… | /r/askTRP | 17/09/17 01:36 PM |
| 1 | How much can a women's gossip ruin your reputation at work?That I'm right? yeah. My question was about how much gossip could damage me, and another use replied that it would depend on my reputation basically, which I think it's a pretty good answer. | /r/askTRP | 19/08/17 12:57 PM |
| 1 | How much can a women's gossip ruin your reputation at work?Eh, sorry, it's bullshit. My job was to give support at first, she didn't put any effort so I dropped her ass. My boss' words were that she needed to become autonomous, and she refused to learn and become autonomous. And she went full-on woman gossip shit on me to compensate for her dire professional situation. I wasn't justifying myself to andromeda, I was explainig the situation. I was right, she was wrong. And there's nothing wrong about hating a piece of shit who tries to ruin your work situ… | /r/askTRP | 19/08/17 11:53 AM |
| 1 | How much can a women's gossip ruin your reputation at work?Amazing. In my case, the bitch did the same thing with chat messages. I knew she couldn't use the chat conversation against me because I had set it up in such a way that I was protected. So what did she do? She started sharing around single messages, out of context, just to get a reaction from people. SHE: csdx, you are not busy, right? :) ME: I'm busy, sorry. SHE: eh... you are doing research... can't you help me with this? ME: sorry, but I can't help you. Try to take it slowly and face one pro… | /r/askTRP | 18/08/17 10:32 PM |
| 1 | How much can a women's gossip ruin your reputation at work?Seriously?? | /r/askTRP | 18/08/17 09:43 PM |
| 1 | How much can a women's gossip ruin your reputation at work?but when I can't I just tell them to e-mail me about it so I'll remember. I'll straight up tell people if they do not e-mail me regarding the matter then I'm treating the conversation like it never happened. Yeah, we do this with our clients to avoid them trying to screw with us. I never thought I'd have to do this with a coworker. Which is, btw, part of the whole problem. We took her in, helped her, supported her, made her feel at home, and now she's treating us guys like shit, trying to use th… | /r/askTRP | 18/08/17 08:46 PM |
| 1 | How much can a women's gossip ruin your reputation at work?I disagree with this. but it's possible we work in different industries and/or countries with different expectations. Then again, I'm usually hired into organizations that are dysfunctional and this is the first thing we correct. It tends to clash with the whole "team work" idea. If you are constantly giving support and following up on your coworkers, and you get paid the same (same roles), then it'll frustrate you and make the team dysfunctional. The same goes for the opposite scenario. A healt… | /r/askTRP | 18/08/17 07:34 PM |
| 1 | How much can a women's gossip ruin your reputation at work?What you need to do is teach her, show her how, and then hold her accountable if and when she fails This is exactly what I tried at first. It was part of supporting the new coworker. And she still didn't care. She refused to learn and would not carry her own weight. Her justification when facing something new, to us coworkers, always was "I'm not capable of doing it". Followed by "if csdx helped it would be a lot easier..." Of course she wasn't aggressive about it, but all "oh I'm a poor doll wh… | /r/askTRP | 18/08/17 07:00 PM |
| 2 | How much can a women's gossip ruin your reputation at work?Exactly, I feel your pain. In any case: i never said you were. where did I say you were her boss? I don't think I'm the one with the reading comprehension problem I sent her stuff to read months ago did you follow up a few days later? do you have proof you can share with your boss? she wasted her free time chatting with the others and you just let this happen for months? are you fucking kidding me? forget her for a second, what the fuck were you doing during this time? this shouldn't have contin… | /r/askTRP | 18/08/17 05:01 PM |
| 1 | How much can a women's gossip ruin your reputation at work?The issue with her has been partially settled. As the other user commented, she focused on establishing relationships throughout the office instead of learning the job. She seriously did. Her idea of team work is "if she sucks at X, someone else has to do it", but she didn't agree to that when she got hired. She lied and then went ahead to act like this. Here's the thing: one of my bosses demanded she deliver a job a certain way, she didn't like his tone of voice and vented off calling him mysog… | /r/askTRP | 18/08/17 04:21 PM |
| 2 | How much can a women's gossip ruin your reputation at work?wtf? I wasn't her boss you pussy shield moron, learn to read and fuck you lol Furthermore, as far as I know she did read them and just didn't understand them If that's the case, too bad for being a dumb bitch. You can relate, can't you? ROFL you're in a corporate environment. IE: team dynamics are key. she escalated a problem: I need help to finish this thing the business needs. Yeah, too bad I told my boss how she called him a misogynistic dumb fuck. Guess she didn't saw that one coming. And no… | /r/askTRP | 18/08/17 03:41 PM |
| 2 | How much can a women's gossip ruin your reputation at work?I agree, my negative emotions are a problem because I can't cope with someone doing this. The other women don't, why can't she act professional? I'll keep my emotions out and see how it goes. Thanks! | /r/askTRP | 18/08/17 01:14 PM |
| 2 | How much can a women's gossip ruin your reputation at work?I feel you. Here's one more thing to note - stop hating. Easier said than done, I know, but you can do it. Strip yourself of negative emotions towards her (except for maybe a little Machiavellian expectation to see her fail). I'll try this. And regarding the whole Machiavellian thing: You got this, you will succeed. I just got a raise and, starting next month, I'll be responsible for her work :). I used her "professional shortcomings" partly as an excuse to explain why she needed someone to moni… | /r/askTRP | 18/08/17 12:55 PM |
| 2 | How much can a women's gossip ruin your reputation at work?Good advice. Here's a little follow up: And don't forget to make yourself look busy all the time. I had already finished my job, so I was doing research into an incoming project. This bitch saw this and started hammering me about "how I was doing nothing screwing around instead of helping her", and a big part of the gossip was about this. Never did the issue of her screwing around the weeks before came up, nor the fact it wasn't my job to carry her weight, nor the fact she was a pretentious bitc… | /r/askTRP | 18/08/17 12:38 PM |
| 1 | My office is full of women and they call the shots on social stuff... is it worth changing this or better to let it go?But don't go on a crusade to change the culture of your work place. If the owners don't have the balls or the interest to change it, there's little to nothing you can do for the better—and you'll be taking on a lot of risk for no clear benefit. No, they don't. Let it lie, and focus on your career. I'll probably keep doing this, yes. | /r/askTRP | 16/06/17 04:23 AM |
| 1 | My office is full of women and they call the shots on social stuff... is it worth changing this or better to let it go?I doubt protecting the company from their gossiping is your job and the way you put it, it doesn't look like they're looking into harming it. Oh, I wasn't referring to the gossip aspect, but yeah, that'd also be a reason. It was more like "oh, women here have all the power, and they can decide which guy is suddenly an outcast if he pissed off one of them". This wouldn't happen if the men were, for a lack of a better word, more "united" in this aspect, instead of letting them do all the heavy lif… | /r/askTRP | 16/06/17 04:23 AM |
| 1 | My office is full of women and they call the shots on social stuff... is it worth changing this or better to let it go?What I meant to say is that a group of women use the fact they are organizing social stuff in the office to take it out on the guys whenever it suits them, and the guys either suck it up and ignore it, or try to please them. And we could do something by just doing stuff ourselves, that's all. | /r/askTRP | 16/06/17 04:20 AM |
| 1 | My office is full of women and they call the shots on social stuff... is it worth changing this or better to let it go?I thought I didn't, but it turns out I do. Every time they "forget" to invite one of us to a company event, every time they act passive-aggressive towards one of us, and above all, every time they act friendly all of a sudden because they need help with something, etc, are all reasons it ends up making things uncomfortable. | /r/askTRP | 16/06/17 04:18 AM |
| 2 | What's the best way to seduce a post-wall woman near her forties?You are overthinking this... I never tried to escalate because we worked together. A little bit of advice: dont shit where you eat... | /r/askTRP | 27/05/17 06:55 PM |
| 5 | Social implications of fucking a slut. Please advise.Pussy classification 101! XD | /r/askTRP | 07/05/17 03:12 PM |
| 1 | Do women like men with beards more, given it's a masculine trait?Exactly, muscles = attractiveness, and that is defined by how others perceive you, not based on what you like. The guy from before said "grow a beard if that's what you like", while I asked the objective impact it had (if any) the same way muscles do. So, I dont see how what you said is relevant... | /r/askTRP | 18/03/17 08:02 PM |
| 0 | Do women like men with beards more, given it's a masculine trait?That's biased. I get respect from guys because of my personslity and how I behave, my muscles (nothing out of the ordinary) has nothing to do with it. And if by respect from women you mean "they'll feel attracted to you instead of despised/neutral", then that's not respect, it's biology. | /r/askTRP | 18/03/17 07:53 PM |
| 4 | Do women like men with beards more, given it's a masculine trait?Bear in mind that they are both feminine, submissive girls so they will be more reactive to masculine traits. Post-modern feminista types who have page-boy haircuts dyed unnatural colors and who want their men "androgynous" hate beards, and wouldn't come within ten feet of me lest they be overcome by my pheromones, and are too busy off trying to find some hairless, manlet Timmy Halfafag that they can peg. This is very interesting. I thought that too (ie, that some girls dont like the hairy type … | /r/askTRP | 18/03/17 07:21 PM |
| 1 | Do women like men with beards more, given it's a masculine trait?Well, from that perspective then who cares about bulking up and getting more muscles/bigger. fuck grooming also, if you don't care about it then why force yourself to groom? Dont be so naive... | /r/askTRP | 18/03/17 07:12 PM |
| 1 | A coworker (woman) went behind my back and convinced my boss to get me to do her job... how can I put an end to this?Perhaps you need to read "No More Mr. Nice Guy." You are not the asshole here, she is, and you need to stop feeling guilt where you have nothing to be guilty about. I started blocking her off after what she pulled. I had a meeting with another client on wednesday, and I was out of the office all day. She told me she was having fun working on one of the new features the client asked. When I came in on thursday, I saw she was working with my coworker on the project together, and he was telling her… | /r/askTRP | 21/01/17 10:56 AM |
| 1 | A coworker (woman) went behind my back and convinced my boss to get me to do her job... how can I put an end to this?I started blocking her off after what she pulled. I had a meeting with another client on wednesday, and I was out of the office all day. She told me she was having fun working on one of the new features the client asked. When I came in on thursday, I saw she was working with my coworker on the project together, and he was telling her how to write the feature... This is what happened as soon as I was not available... She run to him, and he agreed to helped her, even though it wasn't his project a… | /r/askTRP | 21/01/17 10:55 AM |
| 1 | A coworker (woman) went behind my back and convinced my boss to get me to do her job... how can I put an end to this?I like the place because I get to do whatever I want: I work only on the projects I like, and my bosses never bust my balls. And pay is not bad. I started blocking her off after what she pulled. I had a meeting with another client on wednesday, and I was out of the office all day. She told me she was having fun working on one of the new features the client asked. When I came in on thursday, I saw she was working with my coworker on the project together, and he was telling her how to write the fe… | /r/askTRP | 21/01/17 10:55 AM |
| 1 | A coworker (woman) went behind my back and convinced my boss to get me to do her job... how can I put an end to this?I started blocking her off after what she pulled to see how she managed a "relatively complex" new feature. This is what happened... I had a meeting with another client on wednesday, and I was out of the office all day. She told me she was having fun working on one of the new features the client asked. When I came in on thursday, I saw she was working with my coworker on the project together, and he was telling her how to write the feature... This is what happened as soon as I was not available.… | /r/askTRP | 21/01/17 10:54 AM |
| 1 | A coworker (woman) went behind my back and convinced my boss to get me to do her job... how can I put an end to this?I don't wanna jump ship just yet because I have it good there: I can work on the projects I like, doing what I want, and my bosses never bust my balls. Anyway, I started blocking her off after what she pulled. I had a meeting with another client on wednesday, and I was out of the office all day. She told me she was having fun working on one of the new features the client asked. When I came in on thursday, I saw she was working with my coworker on the project together, and he was telling her how … | /r/askTRP | 21/01/17 10:53 AM |
| 1 | A coworker (woman) went behind my back and convinced my boss to get me to do her job... how can I put an end to this?I started blocking her off after what she pulled. I had a meeting with another client on wednesday, and I was out of the office all day. She told me she was having fun working on one of the new features the client asked. When I came in on thursday, I saw she was working with my coworker on the project together, and he was telling her how to write the feature... This is what happened as soon as I was not available... She run to him, and he agreed to helped her, even though it wasn't his project a… | /r/askTRP | 21/01/17 10:52 AM |
| 1 | A coworker (woman) went behind my back and convinced my boss to get me to do her job... how can I put an end to this?My Father has a saying "Home have". Meaning when you show someone that they can fuck up and still pull up by you knowing that you'll help, you'll always be their safe haven. In other words you're her orbiter. I started refusing blocking her off after what she pulled. I had a meeting with another client on wednesday, and I was out of the office all day. She told me she was having fun working on one of the new features the client asked. When I came in on thursday, I saw she was working with my cow… | /r/askTRP | 21/01/17 10:51 AM |
| 1 | A coworker (woman) went behind my back and convinced my boss to get me to do her job... how can I put an end to this?This is a good idea, thanks. I won't send it to my boss as he will complain instantly as to "why" he's suddenly being involved in this project (yeah, fucked up too, a project with no PM and in auto pilot, fucked this). Anyway, I'll keep track via email of these activities and if things get rough, I'll forward them to my boss. Additionally, I'll aggressively cut her off and see how she fends for herself. Funny thing is, she doesn't even see this as fair. She sees the project as belonging to the c… | /r/askTRP | 20/01/17 05:31 AM |
| 1 | A coworker (woman) went behind my back and convinced my boss to get me to do her job... how can I put an end to this?I get where you're coming from. Having someone enforce the hands off policy goes a long way not to mention that it may open your boss' eyes to what can be perceived as incompetence. Yeah, the view on "competence/incompetence" in my current office is all messed up. I mean, the see me as a big shot super IT guy while I'm only someone who likes his job and I'm driven. The result, of course, is that my coworkers' shortcomings are seen as "normal" instead of incompetence... | /r/askTRP | 20/01/17 05:26 AM |
| 1 | A coworker (woman) went behind my back and convinced my boss to get me to do her job... how can I put an end to this?I could do this, but the last thing I want is complain about another coworker. I prefer to frame it as "boss, while she does activity X with project Y, I can focus on Z, so we are cool", and then let my boss see how she drowns... | /r/askTRP | 20/01/17 05:24 AM |
| 1 | A coworker (woman) went behind my back and convinced my boss to get me to do her job... how can I put an end to this?politely tell her you think she's incapable of performing her duties and that it would be best that she go tell your boss before you do. SHE: but I can do this, all I need is for you to explain this to me. ME: I have, but you need to look at the code and start learning what the software does... SHE: YOU don't even know what it does... whatever... After a while, moments later, someone asks her how she's doing, she acts annoyed and says "fine... csdx doesn't wanna help me and this is hard..." This… | /r/askTRP | 19/01/17 09:18 PM |
| 1 | A coworker (woman) went behind my back and convinced my boss to get me to do her job... how can I put an end to this?Man, I really like your idea, but I already am the jerk in my office. If I actively and aggressively start antagonizing her, it won't end well for me. I just have to do this carefully and with my back covered. | /r/askTRP | 19/01/17 09:13 PM |
| 1 | A coworker (woman) went behind my back and convinced my boss to get me to do her job... how can I put an end to this?I like this one ;) I'll start tomorrow and won't stop until she crashes and burn. Which she won't, by the way. She'll just ask my coworker to help her as much as possible, but that's his problem... | /r/askTRP | 19/01/17 09:10 PM |
| 1 | A coworker (woman) went behind my back and convinced my boss to get me to do her job... how can I put an end to this?When is the last time she came through and helped you out on your job? Does she reciprocate your favors, or is this a one-way dependency/entitlement? She would help if I asked. I just don't need her help nor want it in any way. She's not as competent as I am so I won't be offloading my tasks on her unless I know she can handle it, and she usually doesn't. Perhaps you need to read "No More Mr. Nice Guy." You are not the asshole here, she is, and you need to stop feeling guilt where you have nothi… | /r/askTRP | 19/01/17 09:06 PM |
| 1 | A coworker (woman) went behind my back and convinced my boss to get me to do her job... how can I put an end to this?OP is the man and doesn't even know it. I know I "am the man" in my office, that's not news for me :). The problem is, I'm not getting paid like that, I'm getting paid as one of the bunch, therefore, I will treated as one in terms of what's expected of me. As /u/oldredder said, free work is slavework unless I choose to do it. In my case, I don't want to be paid X and do both my job and the job of another useless girl who gets paid the same. If she boasts her abilities to my boss, then she will n… | /r/askTRP | 19/01/17 08:59 PM |
| 1 | A coworker (woman) went behind my back and convinced my boss to get me to do her job... how can I put an end to this?I going to be she had someone else also helping her. I'm not sure how but these 2 pieces do not fit together. What I meant was she got to the company, my boss told her "you will be handling software X from now on", and therefor she picked it up and started making some changes to it as fast as possible in order to impress. It's the typical "I'll give my 150% so they don't think I'm useless as soon as I got there". I even tried to explain to her in the first few weeks a couple of things about the … | /r/askTRP | 19/01/17 08:51 PM |
| 1 | A coworker (woman) went behind my back and convinced my boss to get me to do her job... how can I put an end to this?Yeah, I'll do something like this. I'll just abandon her and tell her it's her job, not mine. After a while, she WILL bring up the fact she needs help, at which point, I dunno, I'll have to act carefully to not come off as the jerk who doesn't wanna help the defenseless little programmer... What really bothers me is that whenever some new relatively big feature is asked by the client, she analyzes who wrote that (me or a coworker of mine), and goes automatically to him or me to analyze what the … | /r/askTRP | 19/01/17 08:48 PM |
| 1 | A coworker (woman) went behind my back and convinced my boss to get me to do her job... how can I put an end to this?Shame her. Unfortunately, I can't. But I'd so much like to do so... | /r/askTRP | 19/01/17 08:43 PM |
| 1 | A coworker (woman) went behind my back and convinced my boss to get me to do her job... how can I put an end to this?I'm not too keen on the "look for a new job" advice because you may not be able to run away from this in any large org. Me neither. The company is small but I like it so I won't let this crappy attitude make my life miserable. Make sure the boss knows the real deal. Bosses don't really care that much who does what, just that stuff that needs to get done gets done. Meetings with clients are important so think of it as demonstrating your value. Exactly, I don't know if my boss is aware. This is wh… | /r/askTRP | 19/01/17 05:52 AM |
| 1 | A coworker (woman) went behind my back and convinced my boss to get me to do her job... how can I put an end to this?The boss thinks (s)he is just keeping the customer happy. But it is YOUR job to protect YOUR schedule. That includes making sure the boss does not load your work schedule with non-productive, wasted time. Let's say I think the boss is unaware. We are a small company, my boss assign tasks but doesn't stick around to see how we carry them out. And she abuses that trust. I won't allow it, she can go bother someone else... | /r/askTRP | 19/01/17 05:49 AM |
| 1 | A coworker (woman) went behind my back and convinced my boss to get me to do her job... how can I put an end to this?Go back to your boss and say, politely, "This is confusing the client, boss, and may make the client unhappy. I am not involved anymore. By having me go to meetings, the client may think I am. We need to stop confusing the client, boss. More generally, I want no part of doing other people's work. She needs to handle this account, not me. So let her handle the account." I agree, I thought about this too. By the way, we have a good relationship with the IT guy on the client side which means we can… | /r/askTRP | 19/01/17 05:48 AM |
| 2 | A coworker (woman) went behind my back and convinced my boss to get me to do her job... how can I put an end to this?2 minute verbal consultant. It brings you in line with being a 'team orientated' person by helping out your co-workers, but your ambitious to see through your new projects and knows how to time-manage. And what do I do when she does this: SHE: do you have time for me? ME: busy. what do u need? SHE: this stuff the client asked... I don't know how to do it. ME: look at the request, divide it, analyze it's requirements and what you need to do to achieve it, etc. Take your time, we are not in a hurr… | /r/askTRP | 19/01/17 05:43 AM |
| 2 | A coworker (woman) went behind my back and convinced my boss to get me to do her job... how can I put an end to this?This seems the only good option. Complaining to my boss or pointing out her crap will do no good for me, for him or for the company. The only problem is, she has this attitude of complaining when she doesn't get help. For example, the client asks for a new feature, she doesn't know how to do it, and starts asking for help. I tell her to analyze the problem, she what's already done, etc. She replies, after a while, "do you have time for me now???" and starts making kisses noises in a joking way t… | /r/askTRP | 19/01/17 05:38 AM |
| 1 | A coworker (woman) went behind my back and convinced my boss to get me to do her job... how can I put an end to this?Consider having a conversation with your boss about this. Suggest that the whole project be handed back to you since she is struggling to assume ownership of it (if you don't mind working on it) or that you be labeled as "off limits" when it comes to this particular project so she's forced to learn it (and she either does or your boss realizes she's incapable of assuming ownership and gives it to someone more capable). I'd like to do this, but I don't know if it's the right idea. I prefer to mak… | /r/askTRP | 19/01/17 05:33 AM |
| 1 | A coworker (woman) went behind my back and convinced my boss to get me to do her job... how can I put an end to this?I know this. She has no shaming on joking about "me not helping her" or she has no issues "complaining" when I doesn't help her. Of course, she doesn't do this in front of a boss, only when she's among coworkers. So, if things where to go bad, she'll have no issues commenting how "I didn't have time to help her and that's why things went bad..." This is why I have to take to my boss about it. He has to be aware that she's not autonomous and that I'm not there just for "moral support". This is un… | /r/askTRP | 19/01/17 05:28 AM |
| 1 | A coworker (woman) went behind my back and convinced my boss to get me to do her job... how can I put an end to this?Truth is she has had time and she is too dumb to do it. In my case, she's not dumb. When she got to the company, she was already coding and changing the software in the first three days: she was the flash. Competent, efficient, etc. Now, she needs help for every freaking thing and whenever she needs to analyze existing code, she'll just drop the ball, ask for help, complain instead sitting down and analyzing the code. And she is not wrong in her fucked up mind. This thing she pulled off with me … | /r/askTRP | 19/01/17 05:10 AM |
| 1 | A coworker (woman) went behind my back and convinced my boss to get me to do her job... how can I put an end to this?Yeah, that's not ok. Cool, but it'll backfire. | /r/askTRP | 19/01/17 05:06 AM |
| 2 | A coworker (woman) went behind my back and convinced my boss to get me to do her job... how can I put an end to this?I already have an excellent reputation regarding my abilities, I don't need her to pull that off for me. Being toyed with like this though, I do not like that one bit | /r/askTRP | 19/01/17 05:05 AM |
| 1 | A coworker (woman) went behind my back and convinced my boss to get me to do her job... how can I put an end to this?You can be civil to co-workers without providing help or doing their job. The bitch even plays the victim... when I tell her "I'm busy" or try to "stay on my things" she starts jokingly saying "CSDX doesn't want to help me anymore!". Now, the fucked up part is, for critical stuff, she stops joking, she outwardly says "I don't know how to do this! you don't want to help me, what am I supposed to do?", or similar. It makes me look like a bad coworker for not wanting to help. Of course she doesn't … | /r/askTRP | 19/01/17 05:04 AM |
| 1 | A coworker (woman) went behind my back and convinced my boss to get me to do her job... how can I put an end to this?Just don't help, when she comes asking for help just say that you don't have time. You caused this. The first time she came to you for help you should have ended it there. If it was outside of work, I'd agree with you. But here, my task was to transfer the project to her and support her when needed. It's just that it went too far and she keeps pushing it... | /r/askTRP | 19/01/17 05:01 AM |
| 2 | A coworker (woman) went behind my back and convinced my boss to get me to do her job... how can I put an end to this?I havent told my boss yet. I'm not sure if he realizes this or is playing it safe. | /r/askTRP | 18/01/17 09:37 PM |
| -2 | A coworker (woman) went behind my back and convinced my boss to get me to do her job... how can I put an end to this?I havent talked to my boss yet. | /r/askTRP | 18/01/17 09:37 PM |
| 1 | How can you deal with a guy who is out to get you after you ignored him for a very long time and he's now used to talk shit about you to the group?Of course he has a reason: he doesn't like how I behave, my personality, etc. So? He doesn't get to pick who has to behave a certain way and who doesn't. | /r/askTRP | 09/01/17 07:08 AM |
| 1 | How can you deal with a guy who is out to get you after you ignored him for a very long time and he's now used to talk shit about you to the group?He cannot just say stuff about me, even insult me (literally, telling the others "because csdx is an idiot, that's why, ignore him...", with me in the room), and expect me to be quite. However, it worked my way, because one of the reasons he's going to be kicked out is that he goes around provoking people and acting like a bully. Basically, he's professionally behind and he insults everyone that's above him, like me, my bosses or other coworkers. My question is more like: are you always forced t… | /r/askTRP | 09/01/17 06:48 AM |
| 1 | How many of you game girls without going in dates?Just have them come over to your house for and cook dinner together then. Many people suggest this. I definitely have to try it, there has to be something to it. Also what are you doing for dates? I dunno, depends on the girl. But dates are not the issue, it's having to organize them that bothers me. Why can it be like... "if you wanna fuck me, and I wanna fuck you, why do we have to go out and do stuff???" I get it, I'm venting :) | /r/askTRP | 05/01/17 05:46 PM |
| 1 | What does it mean when you keep getting ASD behavior in private?So, basically, I should refrain from makimg a move, right? I mean, I am not being paranoid here, at least you get the issue here. | /r/askTRP | 03/01/17 08:12 PM |
| 1 | What does it mean when you keep getting ASD behavior in private?it might feel forced but that's actually just the beta inside you worrying No, it's not that man, it's the fact I have to see her everyday at work and I don't wanna make a move unless I know it's not gonna backfire, that's all. I couldn't care less if she rejected me, it's her rejecting me and making things difficult the next day... | /r/askTRP | 03/01/17 06:11 PM |
| 1 | What does it mean when you keep getting ASD behavior in private?She can't just smile. It's awkward for her Yeah, I'm starting to really believe this. Yesterday, I decided to push for the damn kiss one way or another. Needless to say, during the day I flirted and kino with her pretty much grabbing everywhere and she was really into it. Couldn't kiss her because one of my female coworkers was behind us, looking. The other girl even thought we were fighting :) Once in the car, I still tried to but I just couldn't bring myself to that point. Maybe I'm scared of … | /r/askTRP | 03/01/17 06:07 PM |
| 1 | What does it mean when you keep getting ASD behavior in private?I don't know, I've never got this vibe from qirl before. Yesterday when she dropped me off I tried to make a move but she was like, waiting for me to get out of the car... Yeah, she was talking but other girls in her situation would open up and give me the "go ahead" through body language, this one doesn't... | /r/askTRP | 03/01/17 06:03 PM |
| 1 | What does it mean when you keep getting ASD behavior in private?She's a coworker, it's called "being careful" ;) | /r/askTRP | 03/01/17 12:16 PM |
| 1 | What does it mean when you keep getting ASD behavior in private?never heard of it. | /r/askTRP | 03/01/17 07:28 AM |
| 1 | What does it mean when you keep getting ASD behavior in private?I wanna kiss her, and eventually fuck her. If she wants me, why does she have to play games when we are actually alone? Don't really care for all the rest for now, just let me kiss you and then I'll decide if you are coming to my place or not ;) | /r/askTRP | 03/01/17 07:27 AM |
| 1 | What does it mean when you keep getting ASD behavior in private?why is it so obvious, lol? I would have, all she had to do is at least smile at me while in the car, then I'll just do it. | /r/askTRP | 03/01/17 07:26 AM |
| 1 | What does it mean when you keep getting ASD behavior in private?Yes, we work together, that's why I wanted to be sure she was at least slightly into me and not playing games for the sake of attention... | /r/askTRP | 03/01/17 06:23 AM |
| 1 | What does it mean when you keep getting ASD behavior in private?She doesn't know how to act when you're alone. What do you mean??? just smile at me, I'll kiss you right away! Come on, not the first hook up man, I cannot go around deciphering this stuff like it's the enigma machine... | /r/askTRP | 03/01/17 06:21 AM |
| 1 | What does it mean when you keep getting ASD behavior in private?Ask her out explicitly outside of work. No more of this ride-home stuff in her car. Already have, once, a few days ago. She said she couldn't because she already had plans and replied with "let's organize something in a few days!" That might be part of the problem here to be honest. What can I tell you, it would have been the perfect place to escalate had she kept the same behavior she had during the day... You can clear the air if she's playing games or not. Something smells as social incompete… | /r/askTRP | 03/01/17 06:18 AM |
| 1 | What does it mean when you keep getting ASD behavior in private?Give her a way to feel free with you. How? I already have, I let her flirt, touch me, say stuff to me, etc, she cannot feel more "free" than this unless it gets sexual, which is what I want. So, how can I give her this "feel free" feeling? I'm not making this up man, this is not the first woman I hook up with. It's just weird that I can say anything to her and feel this great vibe until it comes the time to actually hook up and I'm the only one eager to do it while she magically goes back to "ac… | /r/askTRP | 02/01/17 09:26 PM |
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