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CumbersomeOak Archive

View 2 posts and 34 comments by CumbersomeOak on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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Upvotes Title Category Author Subreddit Date (UTC)
10

SEEKING ADVICECumbersomeOak/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/09/19 10:55 PM
9

CumbersomeOak/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/10/19 09:15 PM
Upvotes Comment on Subreddit Date (UTC)
17

Tbh I'm 5'5 and I don't think I'd spot the difference unless he was standing next to something that was 6' and I was paying enough attention to assess
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/01/22 12:06 PM
163

Because some women not wanting to sleep with men and wanting dates paid for somehow makes us the same as some men who have literally raped and murdered women for not wanting to sleep with them.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/03/21 10:47 AM
188

I mean, the worst crime of this sub you hear everywhere is 'make men pay for dates, don't date them if they don't, don't sleep with men without commitment'. Meanwhile, incel subs have members who have literally raped and murdered women. The most wilful misinterpretation of this sub as us just trying to get a free meal out of men (despite all of us being successful enough to not only buy our own food, but get ourselves rings and flowers lmao)...is somehow equivalent to a movement that dehumanises…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/03/21 10:45 AM
6

Just so you know, plenty of men use 'political lesbianism' as a concept to argue that women choose to be female-attracted and invalidate their sexuality. It's better to abandon the term 'political lesbianism'.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/02/21 11:28 AM
41

I realised I was bi when I shook off the male gaze setting women against each other as rivals. When I fully shook off the male gaze I realised I wasn't bi :( I went on dates with women, really lovely women (dating women is so, SO much better than dating men), but when things got more intimate...it's like my whole body just said 'BIG NO'. If sexuality were a choice...I don't think we'd see any straight women at all really (disclaimer: in areas where it's safe to be bi/homosexual). Most of us stra…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/02/21 11:26 AM
42

But god forbid she has 'acts of service' or even...receiving gifts. The uproar! I'm a physical touch person too but I would never, ever tell a guy that. They assume that means you're a nymphomaniac/sex-crazed and that's not really what it means.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/02/21 11:53 AM
16

Thing is, this is a lie. Women age far, far better than men.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/01/21 04:22 PM
53

To add to this, I can't help but notice that even when these men retire...they don't suddenly start cleaning or doing chores either.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/01/21 05:57 PM
23

“new to the area, show me around” A guy on hinge matched me and I shit you not, instead of just liking the photo of me he responded to it with 'I'm new here, just moved here from Australia and you look like you'd make a great tour guide ;) ' It's almost as bad as one the guy I actually spoke to for a week who asked me if I knew some bar he'd gone to in his area. I said no, hadn't really been around there. Continued having a normal conversation and then he pops up with '....so when are you taking…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/01/21 02:25 PM
2

You're right. Kids shouldn't be legally punished for expressing normal sexual interest. I think it's crazy that if a girl under 18 takes a nude photo of herself and sends it to her boyfriend she can be charged with possessing and distributing child porn. Or how sometimes sex slaves or women that have been coerced into sex work will be charged with prostitution. I've heard that sometimes it's done to try and protect the girls, and I don't know enough about the legal system to know if that's true …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/12/20 11:20 AM
49

I absolutely agree that they aren't mature enough to deal with the effects of the pregnancy, but I don't agree that legal punishment is a good way to address that...I am very passionate about raising the age of consent but having allowances for teenagers to experiment with each other not because they should but because it's inevitable some will. I also think that if we just say "nope it's illegal" then the push for comprehensive sex ed that children and teens need (especially in the age of porn)…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/12/20 08:00 PM
36

I was bicurious for most of my life and I just decided men were not worth it. I tried to pursue relationships with women, but when I got to intimacy (like kissing), my whole body just went 'BIG NO'. I wasn't bi. I am straight. It was one of the most disappointing realisations of my life. Also why I'm against the dumb concept of 'political lesbianism'. I'm a case study in how that does not work. You can't make yourself be a lesbian/bi - I literally tried. The concept of 'political lesbianism' is …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/12/20 03:05 PM
16

Me paying the bill is a kiss of death Thing is, I've realised it goes both ways. Guys will pay for women they really want to impress and are interested in. If he lets you split or pay for him, he figures he's done impressing you and he can string you along. Whenever I've tried to treat a guy, he's totally lost interest after. Whenever he's asked to start splitting, I notice his interest also drops off (not enough to stop bread-crumbing you to try fuck you, though).
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/12/20 03:39 PM
1

Thing is, the wording is exactly what would appeal to a teenager. If it's trafficking, of course they'd want to target teenage girls who are probably old enough to go out by themselves but vulnerable enough to groom. Share this with your little sisters/cousins/etc, everyone!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/12/20 08:02 PM
2

update you didn't need: I tried that and he's trying to turn it into an exchange (I was very clear it went one way) where we buy for each other and asking me how the logistics work. Facepalm. 100% bailing. Thank you for being so patient with me and my questions! Have a lovely Christmas (if you celebrate it)!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/12/20 04:54 PM
1

Thank you! This has been very helpful. I made the mistake of committing to the date/time while he said he'd plan the activity (I naively thought he'd pick something cute) so I'll cut it short and say I wasn't feeling the connection. It does feel like something he found googling 'virtual date ideas' and just picked the easiest thing...shame as he invested a lot in our first in-person dinner date. Better to find out now than later!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/12/20 11:47 PM
168

I think that line could honestly convert a few pick-mes. I still struggle with letting him pay but looking at it from that POV...yeah. If we split, all I've gotten out of it is making conversation with a guy who ordered himself a plate of spaghetti in my presence
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/12/20 11:32 PM
2

sorry to bother you about this but you seem pretty skilled at navigating the virtual dating thing. He's suggested we do the 36 questions thing - would you suggest going for that or nah? It's nice he's found a date-relevant activity. Unsure if it just being talking means it's still going to be naff.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/12/20 11:29 PM
7

Damn, wish I thought of this. I had a video call 'date' which was just us chatting a couple of days ago and I did finish it feeling a bit naff about the whole thing. I'll have to find some way to politely relay that.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/12/20 06:32 PM
15

Exactly!! It's ridiculous. They're so desperate for sex but they'll do anything except actually try. And clearly still haven't developed listening skills lol 🙄 Or self-reflection. One guy told me he was a 'good listener and a quick learner' after I told him I didn't exchange numbers before meeting someone all three times he asked for it/gave me his. Good listener - in what world??
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/12/20 04:36 PM
19

Yep it's Tier 4! It's not just safety, it's me getting into actual legal trouble. All for the privilege of travelling to walk around someplace I don't know with some guy I've never met. The entitlement is just insane. I really hope women aren't falling for it but I think the pandemic has made cuff seasons more intense and so I can only assume some women are panicking/settling for less.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/12/20 04:33 PM
55

I got asked a few days ago if I wanted to go for a coffee/walk date. I gave the benefit of the doubt since there isn't much else to do. I said no thanks, that's not a proper date, would rather go on a proper date when lockdown lifts. After the announcement yesterday, he said 'well if you don't mind travelling, I know some good spots near me for a walk :)'. Stupid prick. I'd already said I didn't do walking dates (so he either doesn't listen or doesn't care enough to remember), he wanted me to tr…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/12/20 02:36 PM
129

YES. I am someone who wears very little make-up, has a low body-count, dresses relatively modestly, etc... When a guy has said "I love how natural/modest you are, not like other girls!!' he's an immediate NEXT. I'm not going to be a misogynist's little sidekick just because I check his gross little boxes. Women who have low body counts: don't share your history, even if they ask and you have the 'right' answer. Guys get weird over wanting to 'break' your innocence (ie: what can I coerce her to d…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/12/20 10:04 AM
4

I was in a similar situation with a 20yo - I was a really depressed teenager but I was initially very happy about my first proper boyfriend...they didn't like the age, but felt the positives outweighed the negatives. Then the abuse all happened and I've needed therapy for 5 years...yeah, not a good decision. Sometimes I get really resentful that they didn't just get me therapy when I was clearly socially isolated and struggling/depressed instead of putting it down to being a moody teenager. Even…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/12/20 02:48 PM
9

A lot of men are unfortunately better at them than a lot of women in terms of spotting creeps, I think. After him I've been on super high alert. I went on a date a while ago and could identify he was a RPer, he confirmed it, and despite knowing about him, his tactics and how/why they worked...I could feel myself slipping back into habits from the first ex. It felt very comfortable and familiar. Obviously I told him I wasn't interested after but it was scary just how easy it could have been and h…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/12/20 09:34 AM
57

Because many men believe everyone else besides a paid professional and people who love them want to hear their deep rooted issues they label as helpful insight This guy I dated dedicated an entire podcast episode about why he couldn't date because he was 'emotionally unavailable' after I dropped him. He wasn't 'emotionally unavailable' - on the contrary, he was open about his past traumas and feelings. He was clearly emotionally available enough to the point he wanted his emotions publicly avail…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/12/20 11:16 PM
49

My ex used trauma bonding to severely confuse me and make me entirely emotionally dependent on him. Looking back, it was a fantastic textbook case of trauma-bonding in how obvious it was. He would rape me and not let me leave, I had to stay there while he hugged me until I stopped crying even if it took hours. After the worst incident, I ran outside and he sat on the pavement with me for over an hour hugging me, rubbing my back, 'it's ok, I love you' etc as per usual. An old lady walked past and…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/12/20 11:09 PM
57

Absolutely be aware of the power imbalance! I would have never dated older at 21. In my mid-twenties (and having experienced an awful age gap relationship already) I thought I'd be fine, but these older guys really try my patience. I naively thought a guy 28-30 would be less likely to ghost, mess around, etc but not only will they likely do all of that, they want me to pay for the privilege from day 1. You dodged a bullet with that man who was likely looking to see how far you would bend to his …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/11/20 11:13 AM
126

A weird thing I've noticed is that guys in my peergroup (24-26) seem to want to cover the bill for the first few dates (after that they want to split), whereas all the older guys (27-30) get really weird about splitting from the very first date. Not only do they want to split, they're kind of aggressive about it. One guy was internally seething because the bartender put both our drinks on one tab and after hesitating, he paid instead of looking cheap to them. Immediately after, he said "well the…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/11/20 09:54 AM
60

My favourite example is The Beatles. Now we consider them one of the greatest British bands of all time, excellent music, a sign that you have refined taste in music blablabla...because old men started listening to it. When The Beatles were actually just releasing that music, they were considered some frivolous boy band that was popular because they were hot. Because their audience was....teenage girls and young women. Teenage girls clearly had taste, but they wouldn't get any credit for it unti…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/09/20 08:29 AM
64

Yep. Men understand when someone blows them off/gives uncertain answers that the person doesn't want to without ever hearing a 'no'. Eg: Man: 'hey, let's catch up at X sometime!' Person: 'um, I don't know. Maybe." Man: (if he really is oblivious): let's do Friday at 9? Person: "yeah, I don't know. I'll have to check and get back to you" Radio silence from person. Men understand this. Especially from another man - if it's from a woman, then he may still pursue but it's not because of any false pr…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/07/20 06:15 AM
5

I didn't know that was code for anything besides maybe 'be a walkover'. Is there a list of these somewhere? It sounds like something from 'Why Men Love Bitches' but I've read that already and I don't remember seeing this one
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/06/20 06:26 PM
70

any guy...and I mean any guy who brings up how they/their friends have been a victim of a 'false accusation' is going to be socially distanced from me corona or not lol. Sure, maybe they were unlucky enough to be one of the tiny percentage that actually got genuinely falsely accused - and even then that could develop baggage with women that I don't necessarily want to deal with - but it's more likely that it actually happened, or they did violate someone but it'd be legally ambiguous. Not going …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/03/20 01:34 PM
9

I don't even have kids, look at anything to do with kids, not sure if I even want kids of my own and even I've heard the 'your husband should come before your children' mantra. That you should be a spouse first and a mother second. Also used to indirectly pressure women into deprioritising their children's needs and their own to ensure they are giving their poor adult husband just as much or if not more affection (sex) and attention (sex) and love (sex) as they had before kids.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/03/20 01:31 PM
You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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