TheRedArchive

~ archived since 2018 ~

Curious-Ear-4792 Archive

View 1 post and 60 comments by Curious-Ear-4792 on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
Search in:
In subreddits:
More
Filter by year/month:
Upvotes Title Category Author Subreddit Date (UTC)
9

Curious-Ear-4792/r/Divorce_Men18/09/21 10:43 AM
Upvotes Comment on Subreddit Date (UTC)
1

Women tend to, "harp" on things again and again when someone hasn't truly given a believable, genuine apology and their words don't match their actions.
/r/Divorce_Men20/11/21 09:47 AM
-2

Nope. That's what a guy means when HE Says that.
/r/Divorce_Men20/11/21 09:45 AM
1

I hope it gives you some insight and perspective.
/r/Divorce_Men16/11/21 07:18 PM
2

I hear ya there. You're at a great stepping stone in life my friend. You're better off knowing your style than being in the dark and blaming others in your life for your unhappiness. Being aware of your style means you can notice when you pull back from people.. Just be curious about it WITHOUT judgement. We all have issues we're dealing with so don't be hard on yourself. This is growth. The relationship with yourself IS the most important one you'll ever have. This vid explains that idea beauti…
/r/Divorce_Men16/11/21 06:42 PM
3

I think you're being too simplistic in your understanding. See if this resonates with u. https://www.attachmentproject.com/blog/four-attachment-styles/
/r/Divorce_Men16/11/21 02:06 PM
5

Hand you read anything about attachment styles? You've just described the classic anxious and avoidant types. Even if you divorce you'll continue to likely attract an anxious type of woman. With that said, therapy is the antidote to moving forward. This really has little to do with her and more so about you. You did choose her after all. You don't shed your attachment style just because you divorce. That's the rub.
/r/Divorce_Men16/11/21 01:32 PM
1

Listen to this and see what comes to you https://youtu.be/bvN6kK5O5jA
/r/Divorce_Men14/11/21 12:48 PM
1

I'm curious how she was before this time? Were you two ever in the sweet spot? Not including the initial romantic phase where we see nothing wrong.
/r/Divorce_Men26/10/21 03:28 PM
1

Well then that stinks. What do you think is really going on with her? Any heart to heart talks that gives you an idea?
/r/Divorce_Men26/10/21 01:09 PM
1

Maybe she wants to take the next ten years to get back at you. Btw, did you tell HER that you were atoning for your past sins?
/r/Divorce_Men26/10/21 10:42 AM
1

Ah, yeah regrets are hard. Really challenging to know if we would have taken in mom's input at that time. I get that delivery matters.
/r/Divorce_Men20/09/21 06:20 PM
1

Of course there wasn't an indepth post. Who thinks of all the backstory right at the time u post? But, u brought up a valid point. What I didn't convey at the time is that I know she drinks allot. She's passed out because of it. She slapped one of my son's male friends in some discussion. I don't know more details about that, I only heard this through a cousin. Positives?? I can't say I know her well enough to have a substantial positive. Only some superficial things, really, that I would say.
/r/Divorce_Men20/09/21 10:03 AM
2

Dude, go calm down somewhere and work on your issues.
/r/Divorce_Men19/09/21 11:59 AM
3

It's so interesting that your the first poster to bring up that her parents support her. Most other of the guys were too busy blasting me. I actually lost sight of that fact until u brought it up. Thanks!
/r/Divorce_Men19/09/21 11:23 AM
0

I appreciate your feedback about financial and material counseling. The point in bringing up religion-- that I didn't highlight when banging out a post-- was that they're different religions. What doesn't anyone give someone the benefit of the doubt anymore, sheesh? That the mom is over involved was a direct quote from my son. Btw, I would bet that every man on this sub is going to have some direct talk with his son about marriage and how not to.
/r/Divorce_Men19/09/21 11:19 AM
0

Umm, isn't that what were all doing here?
/r/Divorce_Men18/09/21 07:01 PM
3

Yeah, to the mommy thing. I get that and I think many men have that blind spot to that reality. I'm actually surprised so many men here are saying to stay out of it. I can't help but think many men here wished someone woulda offered some counsel before getting married.
/r/Divorce_Men18/09/21 03:33 PM
3

Ohh, this is an interesting saying. I totally agree.
/r/Divorce_Men18/09/21 03:31 PM
5

Excellent idea!! Thank you!
/r/Divorce_Men18/09/21 12:00 PM
2

I get the irony that I think you're trying to highlight. Personally, I think marriage is mostly a disaster for the majority of people. I think it's a failed system and I wish my son and gf would be content with just living together. I have read the pain and suffering that men experience here and I don't believe my son really loves this young woman. That says, I don't see the marriage lasting. Kids as u may well know keep two people bound to each other who will likely end up hating each other for…
/r/Divorce_Men18/09/21 11:08 AM
1

I'm almost all cases, no!! Many judges will turn on you if you try to push this kinda stuff through.
/r/Divorce_Men11/09/21 06:38 PM
3

How'd she agree against alimony for life?
/r/Divorce_Men06/08/21 09:14 PM
1

At the least get it for yourself. It'll help with all the voices in your head and the crazy ups and downs to be able to have an outside person to talk with❤️
/r/Divorce_Men01/08/21 03:38 PM
5

When did you chest on her? Is she unforgiving maybe because you're not really showing genuine remorse?
/r/Divorce_Men10/07/21 01:18 PM
3

Most decent women would never be able to get past the fact you slept with their best friend. You honestly didn't sleep with her sister? And her sister thing, sigh. This isn't really about you showing her you're a better man. This oughta be about you wanting to become a better man because you want it. When you make it about her you're motives aren't pure. Whose approval didn't you get as a kid? This comment, "but I never was able to connect with her on a deep level, I feel like she thinks of me a…
/r/Divorce_Men10/07/21 11:14 AM
2

About your kids, it depends on what your relationship and your wife's relationship with them is like. Do they see mom's behavior as you do? Are they aware something's off with mom? Has mom targeted them as her caretaker, savior or got one of them in an alliance? All bets are she will try to draw them into the divorce as her allies. So much depends on what they know and think about mom already. Read this: "Splitting: Protecting Yourself While Divorcing... — High Conflict Institute" https://www.hi…
/r/Divorce_Men02/07/21 06:59 PM
2

That book deserves a couple of reads because it's got so much packed into it.
/r/Divorce_Men02/07/21 06:52 PM
1

How old are you? You come of as young and immature-- not meant to be a slam just an observation based on your word choice to describe your situation. Kids are hard work. Planning is necessary to run a house, work, coordinate care, errands, shopping, dinner, school, etc. Look in the mirror before you make yourself out to be a victim. What are you doing, not doing around the house?
/r/Divorce_Men27/06/21 02:05 PM
1

"Violence Against Women in India Must End. Now. – The Diplomat" https://thediplomat.com/2020/10/violence-against-women-in-india-must-end-now/
/r/Divorce_Men26/06/21 11:29 AM
1

I think I've heard awful shocking stories about horrible things done to women in India forever. Why so defensive? Why aren't you instead acknowledging the stats and asking why are men assaulting and killing women there?? "Sexual violence against women is pervasive in India. According to latest data released by the National Crime Records Bureau (NCRB), India recorded 88 rape cases every day in 2019."
/r/Divorce_Men26/06/21 11:29 AM
1

But there's gang rapes of women and young girls there!
/r/Divorce_Men25/06/21 10:48 PM
1

Because it's normalized to beat and rape women there, maybe....
/r/Divorce_Men25/06/21 11:11 AM
6

Dude, stop telling her things that you know will only cause her distress. Why add to her already stressful state?
/r/Divorce_Men22/06/21 09:08 PM
1

I hear ya. It is challenging to remember that both sides made concessions in their lives to parent. I believe that children never lose out when they have a parent caring for them vs a paid stranger. That remains unchanged. The issue is that op claims victim status when/if he declares he's been a sucker for his spouse being a sahm without remembering the upside to his children's well being. Surely, most marriage failures are not 100% on one person. Divorcing adults do themselves a tremendous diss…
/r/Divorce_Men11/06/21 04:38 PM
1

Well that's interesting. It still reflects, however, the propoganda that's been shoved down our throats that divorce should cost lots of money. Now, it's just a norm. Imagine if it was reversed and getting married-- on top of a wedding--costed 50-80 thousand dollars....
/r/Divorce_Men11/06/21 01:26 PM
1

Your attorney, no doubt.
/r/Divorce_Men11/06/21 12:01 PM
1

That last line dude. Really? At the time they obviously both agreed to the value of a parent caring for their children. That's not something that's erased because of a divorce.
/r/Divorce_Men11/06/21 11:58 AM
1

I knew it was bad, but to have the details laid out like that...fuck. Wish I knew this decades ago.
/r/Divorce_Men09/06/21 05:35 PM
2

Stop all social media!!
/r/Divorce_Men04/06/21 07:44 PM
1

It's pretty stomach churning that you came on here talking up how you were hot for your wife's sister.
/r/Divorce_Men30/05/21 02:52 PM
3

My god, what are you, 18?? Please don't make anymore children.
/r/Divorce_Men30/05/21 02:09 PM
1

I can feel your pain through your words. Your post is very succinct and paints a sad picture. You know the answers inside your heart. There's so many details we just aren't aware of that you know intimately. I would ask what do you expect to gain by moving out? Sexual freedom? Personal freedom? Escaping being around her? Could you feasibly set up camp in the basement of your own home or another part of the house? I would absolutely suggest therapy for just you. Many of the things you wrote about…
/r/Divorce_Men15/05/21 06:57 PM
1

Serious all the time... Yeah, I hear ya. I read before that we need to learn something from our partners--something we didn't have that we envied about them. Does that make sense? It rang true for moi. You? He is so indulgent. I'm so frugal with myself, and somewhat in general. I was mesmerized by the ease that he gave no effort to buying on a whim--you mean you don't have to think and plan and figure out of u can really afford it--u just buy it and get immediate gratification?? That ended up be…
/r/Divorce_Men15/05/21 08:58 AM
1

The therapy... Finding a good therapist that you can really let your hair down with isn't easy. Sometimes it's worse than sitting in the dental chair with the wrong one. Are you still seeing therapist#4? I had a eureka moment when one of his tirades gave me a deja Vu moment that I didn't understand and it hit me-- felt just like home with my dad. It was a sickening feeling--literally. There were tirades before that but they didn't really register. One therapist that we both saw told me he sounde…
/r/Divorce_Men14/05/21 11:20 PM
1

Yes, I feel your pain and agree that there's a racket going on with dollar signs on every person that enters divorce court or family court. I am highly encouraging all my children to not get married or have kids....
/r/Divorce_Men14/05/21 10:55 PM
3

I see how fitting your name really is. I am duly impressed with the amount of insight you've shared about your choices. I never heard of bpd before I googled some stuff like passive aggressive, moody, etc. While trying to figure out what the hell is wrong with my marriage. I thought I avoided a violent narcissist because my husband never hit me like my father did. BUT, he had the moods swings which I just normalized the shit out of. Sometimes it makes me really sad how life plays out. The other …
/r/Divorce_Men14/05/21 10:41 PM
2

Yes, a million times yes. Our childhood traumas can lead us to try to correct an old issue with a new partner. Men here blaming women have lost sight that they to contributed to the demise of the marriage. Our attractions are often based on a partner who will trigger our old wounds. Look up Harville Hendrix, Imago therapy.
/r/Divorce_Men14/05/21 10:00 PM
0

Same thing for guys, too....
/r/Divorce_Men13/05/21 10:57 AM
1

Your welcome, however I urge you to consider getting in touch with your feelings now. Why wait? The longer you put it off the more you'll suffer. If you think about it suffering is a choice. It's based on what we tell ourselves when we feel upset. Consider this analogy: https://youtu.be/OX0OARBqBp0
/r/Divorce_Men04/05/21 10:42 PM
5

Please look up Marshall Rosenberg, non-violent communication (NVC) on YouTube. Give it more than a minute, though. I'm part, he shares that anger is a secondary emotion, usually hiding hurt. If we only let ourselves recognize the anger, We never are truly in touch with ourselves and our needs. I just deleted a whole paragraph because I don't think I'm doing his work justice. This is only a brief video. The book, Non-Violent communication" is outstanding. https://youtu.be/OEsDTykjM3Y
/r/Divorce_Men04/05/21 09:07 PM
-1

Dude, this just isn't accurate. There's always bad seeds in both genders.
/r/Divorce_Men01/05/21 01:38 PM
9

This sounds like Johnny depp's nightmare story now.
/r/Divorce_Men30/04/21 02:02 PM
3

Man, I totally disagree on this. More accurately, the wrong woman doesn't care about a man's pain.
/r/Divorce_Men29/04/21 09:52 AM
1

Do u have any visitation? Does x get to call on your time?
/r/Divorce_Men26/04/21 09:24 PM
3

Or, you just picked an immature and selfish woman....
/r/Divorce_Men24/04/21 07:20 PM
1

Touche!!
/r/Divorce_Men22/04/21 04:34 PM
0

Guys do this too. Got a friend who was set up my her IT husband. He was accessing all her emails, texts, etc. She went to a neighbor's at night while her kids were sleeping, 8 and 13. He was at work. He knew this. He called the police on her for leaving minor children alone and got her arrested and put out of her own home. Then had divorce papers just waiting and ready to be served. There's more details I won't get into, but point is, this isn't gender specific. I'd say it's personality specific…
/r/Divorce_Men26/02/21 03:19 PM
1

No judge is going to care about this issue because the mother IS getting the child to school.
/r/Divorce_Men23/02/21 11:51 AM
4

You wanted the other woman in your corner? That's messed up, dude. You lead your wife and the other woman on. You come off self absorbed. It's all about you. What do you really want? Do you even have a clue? The grass is always greener when faces are fresh. The other woman will eventually make demands of you that will piss you off and you'll be right here, where you are with wife #1. If you got kids, find a way to fix this, if you feel anything in your heart for your wife. Especially if your kid…
/r/Divorce_Men18/02/21 06:19 PM
3

She didn't cause your emotions. Own them, dude. She can trigger you, but she doesn't make you feel anything. That's on you.
/r/Divorce_Men20/11/20 12:12 AM
You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

© TheRedArchive 2026. All rights reserved.
created by /u/dream-hunter