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CuriousOptimistic Archive

View 0 posts and 228 comments by CuriousOptimistic on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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Upvotes Comment on Subreddit Date (UTC)
1

Not at all to the same extent, which is why women don't get this
/r/PurplePillDebate25/07/19 02:39 PM
1

Well, like any other group of people, men are a diverse group, I'm speaking in generalities obviously. Why do you think that last part makes a difference for you?
/r/PurplePillDebate25/07/19 01:18 PM
1

I'm saying that men can have sex without love, but they can't have love without sex.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/07/19 01:05 PM
1

Then you probably don't understand what I meant. Men can have sex without love but they can't have love without sex.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/07/19 01:02 PM
3

Sorta, IMO. I mean toe a big part of the problem is illustrated in how you phrased it. I'm not picking on you, it's just a good illustration of how a lot of these conversations go. the only thing that makes your partner feel loved is you getting pounded out 'You getting pounded out' is the problem. He's doing something to you, not with you. He's just pounding away and you're taking it. It's for him. "Hey baby I wanna pound you out." - Eh, no. Sorry not in the mood. Go watch porn and fap. "Hey ba…
/r/PurplePillDebate25/07/19 03:24 AM
5

Yeah, I was trying not to oversimplify, and apparently I made it too complicated instead. :)
/r/PurplePillDebate25/07/19 03:10 AM
4

I waa using the term a bit more colloquially I guess, but it's a fair point. I do think the author of the book did downplay the sex part anyway. I didn't downvote you.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/07/19 02:53 AM
9

No no no no those things are not mutually exclusive. I'm saying (basically) that men can have sex without love but they can't really have love without sex.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/07/19 01:32 AM
11

Well, in fairness it took me a long time to understand this myself. I think a big reason for that (aside from the fallible human tendency to model other people based on yourself) is that our culture emphasizes all of the cheap, trashy, pornographic aspects of sex. We encourage everyone to code sex in this way. We completely ignore or even somewhat ridicule the deep spiritual and transcendental aspects of sex. We treat it as if it's fast food, and minimize or ignore that it can also be a 5 course…
/r/PurplePillDebate25/07/19 01:31 AM
7

Well, if that's what she's trying to say, then that's really beside the point. There are all kinds of fake "loving" things people do. It doesn't invalidate real loving things. I'm talking about the real thing. If you want to tell your guy you love him, and you want to really touch him in is soul, 9/10 times the best way to do that is with sex. If you ask men "what really makes you feel most loved," it's probably something to do with sex. And guys in dead bedrooms want to get off, sure, but what …
/r/PurplePillDebate25/07/19 01:00 AM
8

"Physical Touch" of which sex is a part. And anyway whether or not the author included it, it absolutely is. Especially for men.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/07/19 12:55 AM
8

I honestly have no idea what point you're trying to make here? That all expressions of love are fake?
/r/PurplePillDebate24/07/19 11:57 PM
19

I'm not, I think you're misunderstanding what I'm saying. Im talking specifically about a man you're in a relationship with who does love you. Chances are the way he expresses and recieves love is through sex, and if you aren't having sex with him, he doesn't feel loved. The same is true for all other love languages as well, people whose primary love language is quality time obviously spend time with lots of other people for lots of other reasons. There's nothing noble about quality time per se.…
/r/PurplePillDebate24/07/19 11:29 PM
5

Hmm...I don't know that these two are related. The process of bonding is different than the process of maintaining a bond. I don't think most men bond through sex, but sex is extremely important to bond maintenance. For some women I think it works in the reverse way (although I think women are overall quite diverse in how they respond, whereas men are more similar to each other in general).
/r/PurplePillDebate24/07/19 11:13 PM
68

Most women don't understand that a lot of men feel loved primarily through sex. If your husband/boyfriend wants sex with you, it's not just a cheap need to get off that he's expressing. He's saying he wants to feel close to you and feel you express your love for him. Telling him "I love you" is a lot less effective than having sex. Sex is the love language most men speak, and if you want to express your love in a language he can hear, odds are this is the one. Lots of guys aren't great at articu…
/r/PurplePillDebate24/07/19 11:03 PM
3

my problem is when people like me thought it was our own fault forever. That is a bullshit message. Yes, I think you get what I was trying to say. The guys on this thread making it about "women competing with women" are missing the point entirely. It's not about women wanting to be better than the next girl, for the most part. It's about a system that tells women, "you have to be perfect or else everything is YOUR FAULT!" Women don't need to achieve something just better than the next woman, the…
/r/PurplePillDebate24/07/19 09:10 PM
1

Yeah, I didn't say any of that. Suffice to say that all the contradictory messages women receive all the time just make it worse.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/07/19 06:10 AM
3

Of the advice you listed, the red is more effective. The blue pill advice is 0% effective and the red pill advice is maybe 50% effective - still basically shitty but less shitty.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/07/19 05:09 AM
3

I mean, has anyone anywhere ever changed their views by arguing with people on the internet? Many people (and I'd include myself in this to a point) just like to argue.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/07/19 05:02 AM
8

Where did I ever say men were the ones doing the judging? It's our culture, which everyone participates in and has more to do with capitalism than the FSM or men.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/07/19 02:55 AM
14

Ehhhhh I don't think it is about competing for men. I mean, as you pointed out, a lot of this competition is over stuff that men don't even care about. And IMO some of the worst and most egregious examples of this are the "mommy wars" where women who already have children and presumably husbands have all kinds of neurotic competitive behaviors. Heaven forbid you feed your child the wrong brand of baby food, you're going to be mercilessly pounced on and ridiculed. We've set up a culture where you…
/r/PurplePillDebate24/07/19 01:10 AM
11

I'll add that I think unfortunately we're starting to extend this same mentality to boys as well which is not helping young men one bit. We're teaching them to be brave relative to what we teach girls, but we're not doing as well as we did in the past. Gender equality really isn't served by making everyone equally neurotic.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/07/19 12:40 AM
24

Because women are judged mercilessly over Every. Little. Thing. I listened to a TED talk where the speaker (Reshma Saijani for reference) said that we raise our boys to be brave and we raise our girls to be perfect. This is absolutely true. Telling someone they must be perfect at all times is a surefire recipe for neuroticism. Raising a whole culture of women this way reinforces it. This is more nurture than nature IMO.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/07/19 12:33 AM
9

So why do men like pretending they are invincible to the effects of old age? I don’t understand. Because that's American culture. It basically encourages/compels all of us to pretend that we're invincible to aging and that t women especially "hit the wall," "pass an expiration date," yada yada yada. Basically everyone hates old people, especially old women (including old women). You can't sell people shit unless they hate themselves.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/07/19 12:27 AM
1

Ok well this is just something you completely made up that I never said. I didn't say I "cut them out of my life," I said I don't hang out with them alone or have deeply personal private conversations with them. I didn't mean for it to come across that way - I know that isn't what you said. But it does seem to be the baseline expectation of how a lot of people expect this issue to be handled. Not you particularly. At a certain point when I'm spending a lot of time with an SO it starts to feel le…
/r/PurplePillDebate23/07/19 10:18 PM
1

I might use the word friend, even for coworkers or whatever, but the reality is those aren't people I'm close to who I care about in any way. My friends are people who actually matter to me. My friends are the people I'm not willing to cut out of my life for some insecure dude I just met last week because he isn't comfortable with the idea that yes, there are men who know details about my sex life.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/07/19 09:50 PM
2

Are you telling me you share private personal stuff with ALL your friends? The ones I really call my friends? Yeah. I do. Probably about 8 people, 3 of which are male. People I share mutual hobbies with and such are not really my friends, they're just people I know.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/07/19 09:29 PM
1

when you get into extended private conversation about personal topics, that crosses a line. So, you can't be friends then? I mean, what is it that you even do with friend anyway if it's not having conversations about personal topics? If you're not connecting then you're only really friendly, not friends IMO.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/07/19 09:25 PM
2

And so? Why is this some kind of a problem? Last I checked we're grown ass adults who can deal with such things. You minimize them from happening out of respect for your friend, and when something happens you laugh and move on. The same thing that you do when you're attracted to a co-worker or someone else you're not actually going to be having sex with.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/07/19 09:14 PM
4

I never understand this "there's no reason" argument that a lot of people seem to have. There's a reason. They're friends. Sometimes friends hang out one on one because that's what friends do. I always turn it around - there's absolutely no reason for anyone NOT to do this. It's not some "need" to be alone together. For me it's a need not to be policed and questioned.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/07/19 08:11 PM
25

Honestly, I have none. I'm not jealous, and I'm not going to micromanage him. He gets to be in charge of his own social life and is allowed to run it as he sees fit. You do you babe. About the only thing that would big me isnif one of his friends was clearly hitting on him and he wasn't doing anything to shut it down. I'm good friends with a number of my exes (some of which I broke up with going on 2 decades ago at this point). I understand that some people have an issue with this, but those peo…
/r/PurplePillDebate23/07/19 07:16 PM
5

Agree. There is no correlation between cheating and any other observable characteristics.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/07/19 02:20 AM
3

Yes. I fully believe that. Online dating sucks for women also but in a different way. Basically online dating is mostly terrible for most people. The only ones it's working for are people who are well suited to the medium, and the companies making money. It sucks for 90% of everyone.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/07/19 10:57 AM
3

Eh. Both of these things (helicopter parenting and having fewer children) are results of the same cause - the economy and the need for hyper competitiveness to get ahead. Even if you don't WANT to be a helicopter parent, getting your kids out of college is a LOT more work than it used to be. It is just rational that as the required costs (both time and money) increase, the number of people who are willing and able to do the thing decreases.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/07/19 08:24 PM
2

And even to the extent the economy is good, wages aren't increasing nearly fast enough to keep up with the costs of raising a child.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/07/19 07:23 PM
9

You need to work on yourself. You need to go out and see your friends and get your own life without her. She cannot help you with this, no matter how special she is, because this is about YOU. It isn't about whether you tell her or not, but what you say. "I'm feeling low, comfort me and stay with me and don't go out with your friends.". Aw hell no. "I realized I've been feeling low lately because I haven't been seeing my friends as much. So I made plans with Joe and Dan on Tuesday." Cool. The di…
/r/PurplePillDebate17/07/19 08:45 PM
3

The deadbedrooms I know of, there isn't "a" cause. There are layers of related causes. But for the most part, both parties are harboring some contempt for the other over one or many issues.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/07/19 04:22 AM
5

Something like "you're too cute to be working here"? That's inappropriate? Why? It's an innocuous compliment, from a guy who isn't her superior. It's not sexual harassment. As the other poster said, it's not harassment but it's not appropriate. First of all, WTF does that even mean? Where is it appropriate for a cute girl to work? Hooters?? I mean seriously, it makes no sense and implies that being attractive is some sort of job qualification. Secondly, this woman HAS to be nice to you. It's her…
/r/PurplePillDebate17/07/19 03:28 AM
10

Eh. I'm not saying women should do what I do, only that this idea that it means a guy lacks confidence or that men don't respond to it or relationships are less likely to work this way simply doesn't square with my experience. It just seems like everyone wants to make this into a huge hurdle or some set in stone gender role when it really doesn't have to be.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/07/19 04:31 AM
23

Reading stuff like this makes me wonder if I live on another planet. Many of these responses make no sense to me. I figured out a long time ago that I plainly suck at flirting. If I wait around for guys to ask me out, I'll probably die alone. It's not because they aren't interested, but they think I'm not. Honestly I fail to understand why it's a big deal. I'd rather go talk to the guy I'm interested in than sit back and let people I dont care about come waste my time.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/07/19 03:15 AM
17

The data should also include how much each of these people work. I suspect that a lot of the men who did less housework had wives who stayed at home. This is even less common than it was, and really affects how much total work there is to do. I mean, I'd have a lot more sex if I didn't have to work too.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/07/19 02:28 AM
1

Once you've said yes though, the encounter becomes consensual no matter how you feel about it, as long as there is clear ongoing consent it doesn't matter the power imbalance. If however you say no and he/her decides to fire you, then you have a case of sexual assault. If also he/she proposes to you, you say no and they drop it, well that's that. This just really isn't how it works. First of all consent under coersion isn't consent. I think it's obvious that if I hold a knife to your throat and …
/r/PurplePillDebate15/07/19 07:14 PM
2

the general everyday rapist WTH
/r/PurplePillDebate15/07/19 04:19 PM
5

I really have a hard time imagining men using well-being of their children as a bargaining chip in order to get sex. Huh? I mean at a certain point isn't that what RP asserts that men basically do? I'm not claiming they do these days but when you look at the supposed "biological imperative," isn't that the idea basically? Keeping women on a short leash? Maybe some did that, but that would only apply to higher socioeconomic classes. Working man's family living paycheck to paycheck wouldn't be abl…
/r/PurplePillDebate15/07/19 03:07 AM
7

Vile would be a good word. And no, I wasn't on medication but I may as well have been. I sleep like the dead, especially right after I fall asleep. At 4am a pin drop can wake me up, but at midnight almost nothing will. He probably even got away with this who knows how many times without me even waking up.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/07/19 04:36 PM
15

I knew this question was coming, and rather than tell the whole story again, I'll just quote what I wrote previously in a thread about having been manipulated. It turns my stomach still 10 years later. After a year of being married, my exh had sex with me while I was sleeping. I was too drowsy at the time to really do or say much of anything, but the next morning I talked to him about it. He swore that he thought that I was awake and that I was into it. I told him no, I wasn't, but I had no idea…
/r/PurplePillDebate14/07/19 04:08 PM
11

Yes, within the marriage. The reason for the divorce? He was a manipulative asshole who (among a lot of other things) raped me and gaslighted me about it.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/07/19 04:00 PM
0

I basically agree with you assuming current trends continue. However, with the reality of looming climate change, we're going to have to find a way to make society work without population growth, which is something I don't think we really know how to do yet. I can't claim I know how this is going to go.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/07/19 03:55 PM
10

I'm sure it's less common than it was, but it still happens. I was raped several times by my ex-husband. That said, I don't know of anyone else this has happened to. I'm guessing less than 5%.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/07/19 03:33 PM
1

Our mate selection has been totally screwy for the last 10,000 years or so, ever since an tribal hunter-gathering species tried to become a 'monogamous' agricultural one. Evolution just doesn't happen fast enough to cope with that kind of change. The advent of modern medicine and birth control, while definitely a good thing, have almost entirely divorced us from evolutionary pressure. Add in online dating, which our brains can barely begin to cope with, and yeah, we're pretty much a mess.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/07/19 11:29 PM
1

I personally don't care about monogamy. Watching my guy fuck other women (or men) is all in good fun. But I'm far in the minority and there are men with similar views to mine. I don't think most women feel the "visceral disgust" as much as "visceral jealousy." I don't think it's completely socialized, but I do think about 90% of it is.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/07/19 08:06 PM
2

The trend of larger models is driven by demand from WOMEN, not men. Male models are catching up, again via diversity demand from WOMEN. Men who like BBW are usually ashamed to admit it in public.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/07/19 06:22 PM
1

Well it isn't even good.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/07/19 06:19 PM
4

Recent example of Jason Momoa being body shamed for not having abs is a good example. If this is your best example, it's a really bad one. The number of women drooling over Jason Momoa >>> the number of women complaining about his abs. Just because 3 internet trolls do something doesn't mean you can attribute it to women generally. Meanwhile there is a whole trend of women liking "dad bod" and yet no equivalent category of men who like average women.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/07/19 06:13 PM
3

Your bluest thought is... quite wrong? Reds don't really suggest to rely on money, which is a beta strategy. They also despise gold digging. I'm not saying that reds suggest to rely on money. I'm saying that's what they believe the majority of other people are doing. That's what they believe the majority of marriages are basically founded on. And it's bullshit.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/07/19 02:12 PM
13

Reddest: unmarried men should be allowed a window during early pregnancy to opt of of all parental rights and responsibilities provided abortion is an easily available option for women (i.e. is not restricted like some states or practically unavailable because there's 1 clinic in your state) Bluest:. The RP model of transactional relationships where men trade wealth and status for sex and women trade sex for wealth and status is extremely socially destructive. Everybody is hypothetically just us…
/r/PurplePillDebate12/07/19 01:05 PM
8

Ummm WTF are you even talking about here? You do know the current so-called "Leader of the Free World" feels he can grab women by the pussy whenever he wants, has been accused of sexual assault by 22 women, and is undermining women's rights? Is this somehow evidence that people in power "favor" women? Oh boy, alllll the favoring. To the extent anyone appears to be favoring women, they are just trying to even out the scales a bit.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/07/19 10:50 PM
1

I think you're misreading the data. Being good looking definitely is important for both genders. But the reality is that men are much more likely to be put in positions of power anyway. Being attractive doesn't help most women, because they are still women so still overlooked. Women mostly don't even get a shot, and being attractive doesn't give you more of a shot. It's a prerequisite though to pass a certain minimum level. The few exceptions who do make it to positions of power can't account fo…
/r/PurplePillDebate11/07/19 10:44 PM
8

Well the OP specified "social weird, shy, nerdy, unfashionable, nerdy, skinny/fat guys." So apparently they are double nerdy. I mean really the bottom of the bottom are the homeless and severely mentally ill, but there aren't many of those thankfully.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/07/19 10:13 PM
56

They do. Apparently you've never been to Walmart.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/07/19 06:36 PM
2

Well shotgun wedding where you can force someone to marry you are pretty much a thing of the past AFAIK. Also a lot of people are caught up in the whole wedding ceremony industry bullshit and don't want a courthouse wedding or to have their "magic day" "ruined" by being pregnant in a wedding gown. These days it takes more than 9 months to plan a wedding. I think it's crazy, but nobody asked me lol
/r/PurplePillDebate11/07/19 05:31 PM
2

Why would someone not on government benefits say yes? Because for some people, having a child is more important than getting married. It's not that hard to understand. Also a reasonably high number of pregnancies are unplanned. Sometimes life just happens. Also weirdly, some people view marriage as a bigger commitment than children, which I don't get at all.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/07/19 05:26 PM
3

I can't think of anyone particularly unattractive. Oprah is perhaps not conventionally attractive, but she's quite pretty. Theresa May is not especially attractive, but she's not awful. She's no Boris Johnson, that guy is revolting. But in general, women have to be attractive to become powerful.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/07/19 05:13 AM
6

To me be nice means to accept people for who they are and to not take out your anger on me. Yes, I think that's what most people would agree to. But to a lot of people (of both genders), "accept me for who I am" means "accept all my faults and all my crappy behavior." And "don't take out your anger on me" gets twisted to "don't ever be angry at me for my crappy behavior." Yes, you do need to accept the other person, and that means accepting that everybody screws up sometimes and you just have to…
/r/PurplePillDebate10/07/19 11:44 PM
7

Were you expecting a peer reviewed study?
/r/PurplePillDebate10/07/19 09:03 PM
9

It's my personal estimate based on experience having relationships with men and knowing people who have relationships with men. To be more fair though, my post was a bit of an extreme example. Usually it's more like, "stop nagging me about taking out the garbage even though you asked nicely 5 times an it's spilling on to the floor." But basically it means, "don't complain about what I do even if it's legit."
/r/PurplePillDebate10/07/19 08:02 PM
16

Yeah, often "be nice" means STFU and put up with allllll my BS. Let me walk all over you and you just smile and take it. I don't think this is the majority of cases, but it's maybe about....40% ish.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/07/19 07:12 PM
3

Yeah, dunno about this. A guy who was 11'5” seems a bit much to me. He wouldn't even fit in my house.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/07/19 07:07 PM
2

I mean, in the context of this song, they're probably mad that somehow these women feel the need to insult their manhood for no particular reason. "Guess you ain't even a man enough to handle what I sing" "You must talk so big to make up for smaller things" I'm pretty sure that's what pisses men off the most. Gender equality for you and you can expand beyond your traditional role, but God forbid men try to do the same.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/07/19 06:35 PM
1

Supply and demand. There are at any given time probably 5x more men looking for casual sex than women looking for casual sex. Slut shaming does have an impact but it's not direct. However women are told that enjoying casual sex is bad bad bad and of course that makes a difference, both overtly and subconsciously. But even aside from that, many women just don't enjoy casual sex. They are much less likely to orgasm as you've noted and also often just don't enjoy sex without that emotional componen…
/r/PurplePillDebate10/07/19 05:03 PM
3

"Feeling" powerful is basically not the issue. In order to actually achieve a position of power, women need to be attractive. The appearance standards for female vs male CEOs/politicians/leaders of any kind are much higher for women. It's not that women can't "feel" powerful unless they are sexy, its that the rest of us won't actually let them BE powerful unless they are sexy.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/07/19 03:51 PM
9

No, I'm probably about average to above average in how emotionally attached I am. But I'm a super secure attachment style (if you're familiar with that term). I'm a whole order of magnitude less needy than most people. I do have a much lower threshold than most for what constitutes enough emotional attachment to have sex with someone. I need to like you, but don't need to love you or want to spend the rest of my life with you or anything. I'm also a lot more mature (just by virtue of being 45, n…
/r/PurplePillDebate10/07/19 12:29 AM
2

Do you find divorce parties tacky and spiteful Tacky? Yes. Spiteful? Not necessarily. I recently divorced and some of my friends suggested one, but it doesn't feel right to me. My friends have good intentions of celebrating my freedom and trying to be happy for new beginnings, but it's still...nah... Would there be any circumstances that would make a divorce party appropriate (Example divorce being the result of an affair) I can't really think of any. To me in the best circumstances it would be …
/r/PurplePillDebate10/07/19 12:10 AM
10

Not the person who answered before, but I agree so I'll answer. I don't "disagree," but I just want very different things. I'm not looking to get married or find a life partner. I'm not interested in being a traditional sort of wife either. The relationships I want are very different from the relationships the RPW seem to want. Their advice is probably fine if you're looking for a traditional sort of relationship, but since I'm not, their advice is pretty worthless to me.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/07/19 12:04 AM
1

The book "Everybody Lies" reviews aggregate Google data to find out what people do online to how they behave in real life. It's fascinating from a number of angles, but this is something he looked at. "I am certain a large number of men are more attracted to overweight women than skinny women but try to date skinny women to impress their friends and family members. Porn featuring overweight women is surprisingly common among men. But the data from dating sites tells us that just about all men tr…
/r/PurplePillDebate09/07/19 11:57 PM
3

1) What pill do you take, if any? Cymbalta 2) What does the term "career man" mean to you? Nothing. This term just sounds like "man with a career." 3) Would you willingly enter a relationship with one? Why? Yeah? I mean, having a career is a good thing. Just don't let it run your life and we're good.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/07/19 10:19 PM
1

Money does matter to women, though it's not the most important factor. However, it doesn't matter very much at all to girls in high school who are still being supported by their parents.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/07/19 10:09 PM
1

Babytrapping isn't socially acceptable either. Nobody is discussing fear here.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/07/19 09:48 PM
0

Statistics on homicide in general are irrelevant. The question is the number of homicides by men who feel entitled to sex vs. the homicides by women who feel entitled to relationships. We can add rape and assault as well, but still the relevant comparison in this thread is those two groups. The men are worse by a landslide and that's why their version is less socially acceptable.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/07/19 09:05 PM
0

Of course it's not good. It's also not as damaging. Killing people is worse than manipulating them.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/07/19 08:54 PM
0

The reason it's not socially acceptable to feel entitled to sex has nothing to do with the concept of "entitlement" and everything to do with rape. Too many men who feel entitled to sex get violent about it, that's the problem. The incidents of women successfully forcing men to be in relationships with them via violence are almost non-existent.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/07/19 08:37 PM
4

I'm so old I think all this camgirl/attention whore/influencer crap is just weird. (And yes, I lump them all together. The product is different but the basic idea is the same.) It's just a bastardized version of "reality" TV which was weird enough. Human brains can't cope well with this crap.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/07/19 10:13 PM
2

So if AWALT was actually AWIDKIAPX (Any woman I dont know is a potential [x]) and unknown are women treated as they could potentially be x youd be okay with it? Just wondering. I mean, it's awful as an acronym but again I don't think anyone disputes the idea that some amount of people are shitty and it's not wrong to be skeptical about strangers. I think it's even fair to say there are ways that women are particularly likely to be shitty. The reason TRP focuses mostly on how women behave is beca…
/r/PurplePillDebate08/07/19 07:19 PM
1

Where are you getting this 70% number from? It is something I just threw out there for the sake of discussion. It's probably about where most people would say something is "generally true." It's one standard deviation from the mean. Narcissism isnt the only complaint either, when you factor in all of the character flaws and mental illnesses people have, yeah there's a good chance youre going to be running into shitty women a lot. Sure. I don't think anyone disputes this. Guess what? There's a lo…
/r/PurplePillDebate08/07/19 04:36 PM
2

but having a kid can be a huge relationship stressor that ties into a ton of other relationship stressors. even moreso if caring for the kid is challenging for whatever reason (disability, emotional/behavioural issues etc) Of course this is true BUT it is not the child's fault that it exists. It is not the child's fault it is disabled. And sometimes it's nobody's fault - sometimes life is just shitty and shitty things happen that are beyond our ability to cope. The problem is that children take …
/r/PurplePillDebate08/07/19 03:24 PM
2

Except that then men spend no effort on finding non-narcissistic women. It isn't just making a generalization, it is making one which: a) isn't true as psychologists will tell you that it's not true that 70% of women are narcissists b) means you put no effort at all into finding women who aren't narcissists c) the very language you use literally lumps ALL women into this category (whether or not that's what you intend, it's what you actually said) That's why women object.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/07/19 02:52 PM
4

It is making a generalization. That's how social cues work. Many many things aren't outright stated and we have to interpret. It's normal. As a bisexual woman I can tell you that women I go chat up because I am interested in them often don't get it. Why? Because 90% of the time when something like this happens, that's not what it means. I'm not mad about it, it just makes sense. It's still a far cry from something like "All women are narcissists"
/r/PurplePillDebate08/07/19 02:06 PM
7

Kids are wired to accept and adore their caregivers. If Mom was bad but dad was gone, they are automatically going to find a way to make her into the good guy, even of it means making themselves into the bad guy. This is why so many kids of divorce have some lingering idea the divorce was their fault, even though this is obviously not true ever, because the alternatives are untenable. When you're a kid, you are 100% dependent on your caregiver, so kids' brains are programmed to do what they need…
/r/PurplePillDebate08/07/19 12:48 PM
7

Well, it isn't even just that. PTSD is a real mental illness that impacts your brain function. People who've been abused often have very real impacts from the abuse. When an abuser breaks someone's leg, we don't say, "Why can't you walk? You deserve some of the blame!" Abuse harms you psychologically and your ability to think logically is impaired, just as your ability to walk is impaired by a broken leg.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/07/19 12:38 PM
13

But, on another note, what sort of blame are you talking about? What’s the purpose? Some people use blame to decide who they can cast out from society and treat poorly. Instead of blame, I think about what changes need to be made. The abuser needs to be taken out of the situation, made to recognize what they’ve done, and rehabilitated. What do we need to do with respect to the victim? Can we classify the steps we should take as “blame?” This was my question too. What does blame even mean in this…
/r/PurplePillDebate08/07/19 03:01 AM
29

You really can't see the difference between: "If a person does this thing, it most likely means such and so," and "all people of this category have this (generally undesirable) characteristic"? One is making a generalization based on interpreting a specific behavior. The other is making a generalization about an entire gender based on nothing in particular. I'll tell you what, if I start chatting you up in public, it's probably because I'm interested in you. Feel free to make that generalization…
/r/PurplePillDebate07/07/19 11:59 PM
2

From the study: "women with dark personality traits and traditional gender role beliefs may exploit traditional dating scripts for men," Why do women do this? Have you ever known a woman who admittedly did this? Because a certain percentage of every group of people are shitty at least occasionally. I've never known a woman who admitted this because I try not to hang out with shitty people. Does this put women in danger? (fake interest in a guy) I mean, just about every puts people in danger to a…
/r/PurplePillDebate07/07/19 05:40 PM
1

the guy's I've known who got laid like warlords weren't anything special in the looks department. Agreed with the guys I've known. They look good but nothing exceptional. Something like 7-8. Enough to land in most women's "fuckable if I like him" category. They were charming and outgoing, but most of all they seem to genuinely like women and themselves. They also weren't super picky in their sexual preferences. They weren't always chasing the same 2 girls everyone else was, they are more likely …
/r/PurplePillDebate07/07/19 04:13 PM
3

While that's technically true I suppose, if it's close enough that it's not easy to say who loves who more, that's close enough for me. I have never seen a healthy relationship with a significant imbalance. Just the fact that anyone refers to this as the "upper hand" shows this isn't a good setup for an intimate relationship.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/07/19 02:59 AM
5

id argue most women have at least some fwb and flings. Sure, they do. But that's usually a small and overall less frequent thing, whereas for a lot of men it's their primary objective. At any given time there are a lot more men than women out looking for casual sex. That's why it's so hard for men who aren't at the top - it's not that the top men are hogging 80% of the women, it's that only maybe 20% of women are even looking and the rest are going for something else
/r/PurplePillDebate04/07/19 07:48 PM
6

I'm pretty sure they're actually just considering the market for casual sex, which a large portion of women don't participate in to any great degree as compared to men. But they talk about it as if it's the whole world.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/07/19 03:48 PM
4

Um, no the math does not add up. In the US at any given time, most adults are married. Literally over 50% of all men and women have one stable partner.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/07/19 01:04 PM
1

Yeah... no, you're making shit up. Uh, no. Literally read the thread on the OP
/r/PurplePillDebate04/07/19 12:03 PM
3

My answer to that would be that because women are generally physically smaller and weaker, they have had to develop other skills. You can't very well go around beating up other people when you're the smallest and weakest, you need a different method that plays to your strengths.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/07/19 02:09 AM
4

If the reason is "invented", then sure it's irrational. Sometimes you have good reason to be angry. You say that is if there's a clear line between the two but there's not. It's all cultural and emotional. Who gets to say what's a "good" reason? If she's claiming harassment over nothing, she's being over sensitive. Who gets to say what's 'nothing?' In our culture it's men who get to set this tone. That's essentially the whole theory behind TRP, men are angry because reasons, women are emotional …
/r/PurplePillDebate03/07/19 11:40 PM
9

Men are only allowed to show emotions that can be rationalized and do not show weakness. Men are allowed to be angry so long as they have a reason behind it. I don't disagree, but what this means is that men then invent "reasons" and claim they are rational, when they aren't. Women are considered "hysterical" because they let their emotions dictate their actions rather than burying them. Hysterical isn't just about anger. Well, I used hysterical specifically because of its etymological roots in …
/r/PurplePillDebate03/07/19 09:55 PM
3

Our culture doesn't tolerate emotional men. Most men were told "boys don't cry" from their parents long before they ever started trying to get laid. Their buddies called them pussies for ever dating to have a feeling. This is reinforced all over the place by both genders.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/07/19 09:49 PM
15

Anger is only "rational" when expressed by men. Men are not allowed to be sad or afraid. They are allowed to be angry, and when they are, it's "rational." Women are mostly not allowed to be angry, and when they are they are just "hysterical."
/r/PurplePillDebate03/07/19 08:35 PM
3

I am definitely in the camp of emotion having no part in rationality. "Reason" is the concept that blends logic and emotion. I'm not saying that emotions are actually a part of rationality. I am saying two things: Emotions and rationality aren't opposites. They are two different things which may or may not compliment each other. Secondly, when people claim to be "rational," a large majority of the time there is an emotional component they are ignoring. Most people are not as rational as they per…
/r/PurplePillDebate03/07/19 08:18 PM
6

I can understand that. The problem is that this is presented as "the truth" and somehow an unavoidable aspect of nature, rather than a very limited view that ignores all sorts of other aspects of human experience.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/07/19 07:49 PM
23

On PPD I notice there tends to be a contingent of users who bristle at the thought of having "emotions." Or who claim women are "emotional" at work because she'll shed a tear, but men aren't, despite doing things like this. Well, the entirety of red pill is based on a transactional model of relationships where men and women are simply exchanging "value" and emotions are treated as a silly distraction to cover up the "real" underlying dynamic. Men supposedly enter relationships to get sex, as if …
/r/PurplePillDebate03/07/19 07:15 PM
4

Well, duh? That's what humans do, try to explain things. Even people who are afraid of heights use reasonings about why we are that way. Just because it's instinctive doesn't mean we stop trying to rationalize it. And the harm that women experience overall is certainly real enough. Women are often especially forced to be analytical about it so they aren't branded as, "See! Women are irrational!" Well guess what, women are no more or less rational than anyone else. Welcome to being human.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/07/19 06:08 PM
4

"is your fear of men analytical and based on statistics?" Of course fucking not. This is not how the human brain works. It is not how human emotions work. "Is your fear of heights analytical and based on statistics?" No. It's instinctive. That's how fears work. That's why human beings do all sorts of things that are dangerous (like driving) without fear, and get scared at all sorts of safe things (like standing on top of the Empire State Building).
/r/PurplePillDebate03/07/19 06:02 PM
3

Ummm.....just no. They are not generally speaking the same group at all.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/07/19 05:35 PM
4

Even your title presupposes "hit on / harassed" is basically the same thing, and nobody can tell the difference. There is some gray area, but the vast majority of both genders knows the difference. This is like saying that rape comes from the fact that people have sex.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/07/19 03:17 PM
1

Thanks, and yes, I'm much better. It helped a LOT when I could finally connect that this wasn't all just some big misunderstanding, he was actually doing this stuff on purpose. He wasn't trying deliberately to hurt me - but he just actually didn't or couldn't care either way,he just wanted what he wanted.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/07/19 01:01 AM
1

I wouldn't say they're justified, but I see your point here. It is their fault for being manipulative or abusive. But I think being introspective and having agency is important too I'm not discounting the value of agency, but it's not always easy to tell once you're in a relationship. I'll give an example. After a year of being married, my exh had sex with me while I was sleeping. I was too drowsy at the time to really do or say much of anything, but the next morning I talked to him about it. He…
/r/PurplePillDebate03/07/19 12:32 AM
3

What is it like when a man you are not interested in asks you out? It's difficult, I know it took guys to ask so I do try to acknowledge that. I do try to say something like, "thanks, but I'm not interested." Sshort, direct, to the point What is usually the source of the disinterest? I'm not sure there's a "usually." I guess most commonly with online dating, they just seem boring. Like there is nothing interesting about him as a person. But there's a lot of different reasons. What is your thresh…
/r/PurplePillDebate02/07/19 08:27 PM
2

It depends on what stage of the relationship you are discussing. In the 1-2 dates category, it is very common for people of both genders to have more than one person they are considering I kindly let others know that I’m talking/‘seeing’ someone, even if we’re not on literal boyfriend/girlfriend terms. I have a feeling most men do what I do, barring the player types. This isn't the current social norm for dating. Most people are at least talking to other people unless you've agreed otherwise. It…
/r/PurplePillDebate02/07/19 04:18 PM
9

For the sake of your question, I'll ignore that most people are a mix, and anyway too self involved to care either way. In general, men are good. It is a small minority, maybe 5-10% who are generally harmful. However, this is basically irrelevant because human brains don't process trauma and good things equally. Your brain is wired with the primary objective of keeping you alive, and as such avoiding harm is much more important than finding aid. If one man rapes you, and another arrests the rapi…
/r/PurplePillDebate02/07/19 03:50 PM
1

I don't agree at all. Love is timeless and eternal and pretty much the only thing worth having in life once your needs for food and shelter are met. Now, that's not to say you can have love forever with one person, in fact that's my point. When you try to meet the human craving for love with one person forever, it is extremely likely to fail. I'd rather have love than stability.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/07/19 03:34 PM
7

I no longer believe in the concept of a "life partner." I am not interested in monogamy or in forever. I'm really glad that I had experiences with other people before I met my first husband, so that I had a frame of reference to understand that the relationship wasn't good. I've also found that when you expect one person to be "the one," they will inevitably fall short, and these high expectations are destructive to real relationships. As soon as you "need" another person to be your source of mo…
/r/PurplePillDebate02/07/19 03:20 PM
1

It's true that women are no longer basically forced into long term relationships. Still, the majority of them still desire them. Even those girls that don't want a traditional "relationship" would most likely prefer to have an ongoing FWB or other arrangement with someone. Even if it's just for sex, sex is a lot better especially for women once you get to know someone (even if only to spend enough time to figure out how to make her cum easily). Of course there are exceptions but it doesn't chage…
/r/PurplePillDebate02/07/19 01:35 PM
3

I've been manipulated in relationships before, but not at the beginning. It has always been over the long course of an LTR, where it is like a frog being put in a cold pot that is then turned on - it creeps on slowly and you don't realize how bad it is until it's way past too late. But isn't that the responsibility of the other person? To maintain boundaries for themselves? I'm bad at maintaining my own boundaries, and when people push them, I know that it's my fault. How can someone know it's w…
/r/PurplePillDebate02/07/19 03:44 AM
1

It seems like it's become a lot more difficult for the bottom 80% of men, but for everyone else it's become easier. This is because women have always had an easier time dating and the increased abundance mentality has increased their standards past what most men can achieve. Average looking girls now get visibility into the top 20% of men and can get them for a date or two if those men are just pumping and dumping. Because these women have gotten a top 20% for a date or two, they will never go b…
/r/PurplePillDebate02/07/19 01:20 AM
2

What I find as a trend in all of these shows is that they are driven my a male lead who is a comedian. You don't see this dynamic in any other types of shows
/r/PurplePillDebate30/06/19 12:28 AM
1

Men are working more hours, but that's not a major driver of growth. Women do work fewer hours than men but they work a LOT more than they used to. This is currently the largest factor that's driving growth. $30k is nowhere near subsistence level. I'm talking about the type of economy where people pretty much HAVE to get married and have children or they'll starve. The modern developed world is mostly nowhere near that.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/06/19 12:11 AM
1

I won't argue about your assumptions but they are mostly off base. The first one especially is a result of patriarchy. I'll say patriarchy was a positive force for civilization in a land-based agricultural economy where most people are living at or near subsistence level. More recent data show that in today's world, the rise of more egalitarian structures is what's driving growth. The current economies are not growing because men are somehow "working harder," but largely because women are workin…
/r/PurplePillDebate29/06/19 10:30 PM
2

The only part of this that I disagree with is where you frame this as "for men." And I'd amend to say "traditional relationships." The specifics for women are different, but the bottomed line is relationships as they are currently defined in our society are HARD and mostly end in failure. The high expectations of both partners for the other are counterproductive and make them more likely to implode. If you're not looking to have children, or unless you actively enjoy the dating process, it's mos…
/r/PurplePillDebate29/06/19 10:13 PM
4

But when redpill (or your buddy or whomever it is) says AWALT (or something like it) it's misogyny? A protective measure to protect their emotions from being harmed? You don't seem to understand the differences here and there are several; A) although the female poster did say "men are dangerous," at the end of her post she did say any man is "potentially" dangerous. She is saying not that "all" men are dangerous, the issue is you have no way to tell who's dangerous and who isn't. AWALT is litera…
/r/PurplePillDebate29/06/19 04:12 AM
1

What masculine traits are you attracted to most? Courage an assertiveness. I like the kind of man who knows who he is and stands up for what he believes in. Is your partner hyper masculine? "Hyper" masculine? No. They mostly aren't the kind of men others would recognize as masculine by the standards of our culture. So much of our idea of masculinity is performative and to me there's nothing attractive about bravado. The men I go for tend to be more like, "I am not like those other guys and I'm t…
/r/PurplePillDebate28/06/19 10:50 PM
1

Sure, as I said, of course it doesn't "depict" reality. What it does is reflect and influence. To use your example, even though kids weren't wearing helmets in your particular area at that time, helmet use in general has gone way up in the time since. It reflects someone's idea that kids "should" wear helmets, and that has an influence on people who watch it.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/06/19 08:07 PM
1

And what is your point?
/r/PurplePillDebate28/06/19 07:59 PM
4

Everyone knows TV is fake. It is however, reflective of certain cultural norms, and influential towards cultural norms. It's not "real," but it also didn't come out of nowhere. Shows that are popular, are popular for a reason. And many numerous studies on media show that even when we know it's a creation, it still influences our thinking. That's just how it is.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/06/19 06:05 PM
2

I don't get jealous and don't tolerate it very well in others. If you don't want to be with me, you know where the door is. If you want to monitor who I'm with and interrogate me about my male friends and so on, you know where the door is.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/06/19 05:18 PM
1

Your theory falls apart as soon as it meets reality. For people with this cuckold fetish, this is actively what they WANT, not what they are settling for out of a lack of options.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/06/19 02:50 PM
3

Because this is an inherently male driven fetish, not a female driven one. Edit to add: TRP would theorize that women would be lining up out the door to the the "beta bux" from these guys. But that isn't what happens in reality. And it's not because these guys are "losers." My friend who is a cuck in search of a mate is attractive, has plenty of dates, makes a six figure salary, and fits nobody's definition of a "loser "
/r/PurplePillDebate28/06/19 02:02 PM
4

Anti-male tactics only apply to unattractive losers while powerful attractive men get praised even MORE This is directly a result of patriarchy, not feminism, as you've basically pointed out. I don't see how anyone thinks any of this is "feminist practices," it is largely driven by male sexual desire. The guy gets off on the power dynamics here, and that dynamic is inherently informed by male heirarchies, not female ones.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/06/19 02:01 PM
5

Usually, hotwifing and cuckoldry are two coping mechanisms for what is essentially the same problem: the woman wants to fuck other men and the man has to find a way to deal with that. This has not been my experience at all. (I'm a female who's had experience with various kinky people.) Most of the time, these kinks are driven more by the man than by the woman. Yes, she enjoys it too, but 7/10 times (ballpark anectodal estimate) it's the MAN who brings this up, not the woman. Online forums for cu…
/r/PurplePillDebate28/06/19 01:53 PM
2

What? This makes no sense. There is clearly a fundamental difference between doing something with consent and without. Nobody who ever cheated on a partner was "inspired" by consensual cuckoldry. Also the disdain here is for the man, not the woman. WTF is he a threat?
/r/PurplePillDebate28/06/19 01:41 PM
2

Not only that, but you literally can't convince someone to be turned on. You can influence it to a degree on the margins, but that's it.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/06/19 01:35 PM
2

Probably similar. Many things in life are sexy to think about that you don't want to actually DO.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/06/19 01:32 PM
4

It's clear to me from reading this that most of the people are conflating cuckoldry as a fetish with polyamory and both of those with cheating, and furthermore have never actually gotten to know any men that are into this. Red Pillers will state that "you can't negotiate desire" and state that what turns you on is what turns you on, but the somehow when what turns someone else on doesn't fit their paradigm,suddenly it's because they're adapting to what women want, as if male desire is somehow su…
/r/PurplePillDebate28/06/19 05:11 AM
2

This isn't the question. The question is why is it a problem if some other man DOES want this? Why is that threatening?
/r/PurplePillDebate28/06/19 04:47 AM
4

Nah, both are basically meaning attractive, with the exception that sometimes "cute" can mean "attractive in general but I'm not attracted to him personally."
/r/PurplePillDebate27/06/19 10:16 PM
7

"Cute" is more boyish and affectionate, "hot" is more rugged and sexual, but there is a lot of overlap between the two.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/06/19 10:03 PM
2

That's a good way to describe him. He's been in a number of movies in lesser roles. His series Luther is on Netflix and is amazing. Also he has a sweet British accent. :)
/r/PurplePillDebate27/06/19 07:58 PM
4

Well all my friends and I are in our late 40s so he's not old to us lol
/r/PurplePillDebate27/06/19 07:52 PM
7

I meant all my friends. Not all women in existence.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/06/19 07:49 PM
8

Some Youtubers and Dating coaches claim that there are women out there who are attracted to all sorts of shapes and sizes. All you have to do is find one who fits your niche (or rather who's niche you fit). The other side of the argument is that Chad is rather static and certain guys will have just about every woman fawning over him while others almost none. Both of these things are true at the same time, it's a matter of perspective. Women who are very open in their preferences tend to still li…
/r/PurplePillDebate27/06/19 05:39 PM
6

Then either you and I don't have the same definition of thirsty (likely) or you partners have low self esteem (also possible). Thirsty is not just sexual desire as I said. It's sexual desire that supercedes someone else's needs, it's needing sex in general so bad you don't care where you get it. I highly doubt that's what you were doing.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/06/19 02:09 PM
9

guy being thirsty indicates that he may not have other options. It has nothing to do with whether or not he has other women. It has to do with his ability (or lack thereof) to see beyond his own dick and recognize there's another human being in front of him with her own personality, needs and desires. She is not just a means to an end to satisfy thirst. anyhow, second part of the question; WHEN is male thirst (not) a turn off? Being thirsty is always a turn off. BUT crucially, not all male desir…
/r/PurplePillDebate27/06/19 01:38 PM
0

i have no success with women, because i am too direct and not at all subtle. Obviously I don't know you, but IME being direct and not playing games is an ok quality in a man. The problem is not your directness per se, but rather what you choose to say or not, and how you say it. As others have mentioned, you need to have social intelligence about it. I mean it should be obvious that you can't just go up to a woman out of the blue and say, "I have been looking at your tits and they're great. I wa…
/r/PurplePillDebate27/06/19 01:24 PM
2

Well as I told the other poster, there is a whole dating app (Bumble) that uses this dynamic. If this is what you think would work best then you can go there. Women are not magically better at picking more compatible partners, and men are not naturally less picky.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/06/19 01:14 PM
7

Because women aren't going to ask guys out for sex. Duh.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/06/19 04:41 AM
1

Men also won't make the first move unless you are really hot.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/06/19 01:22 AM
1

What is it you think men do exactly? Lolololol
/r/PurplePillDebate27/06/19 01:17 AM
1

No.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/06/19 12:52 AM
1

That's why I specifically suggested Bumble. Bumble requires women to make the first move.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/06/19 12:52 AM
3

Put up a profile on Bumble, then you too can have this fun! Seriously, trust me, all you get is a different set of problems.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/06/19 12:44 AM
4

Then how would that be any better for "everyone?" It would be exactly what we have now but reverse.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/06/19 12:39 AM
11

If most girls asked men out, men would start becoming a lot more choosy about why they say yes to. It's supply and demand.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/06/19 12:36 AM
5

Why? That doesn't make sense unless you think men are not picky and would just say yes to anyone who asked.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/06/19 12:33 AM
14

I don't think there's such a thing as "should." If women were always the initiators, we'd eventually wind up with the exact reverse situation. But with that said, if a girl wants a guy to ask her out, and she's "hinting" but he's not getting it, then absolutely it's a good idea for her to ask. Everyone should be empowered to ask for what they want.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/06/19 12:23 AM
1

When I was about 38, I was FWB with a guy who was 45. He said he couldn't understand why I wasn't chasing 21 year olds because I was hot enough and young looking enough to do so. First he said, "Oh, because they wouldn't have money to take you out." Um, no. Second guess? "Oh, because he's an idiot." We have a winner! Even when it's just looking, I can't sort out sexual desire from my perception of the person. A 21 year old just looks like an immature baby, and also many guys that age have not le…
/r/PurplePillDebate26/06/19 11:47 PM
2

Its a human thing - Not a woman, thing. This is the way people (of both genders) act when they don't believe they deserve to be treated well. It's not because someone is "worth more" if you had to "work for it," it's because on some subconscious level, being treated crappy feels "right" to you. Most of the redpill/bluepill stuff seems to believe that the only choices are asshole/doormat or bitch/pushover. When it comes down to it, neither of these extremes represents the way healthy and confiden…
/r/PurplePillDebate26/06/19 08:33 PM
1

Well, first of all, I have a mirror. I have no problem getting dates online or when I already know the person. It's only the public or social approach that never happens.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/06/19 12:46 PM
3

There's a difference between deciding something doesn't work for you and judging the other person. It's a fine line most people aren't able to walk, but it is possible.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/06/19 05:52 PM
4

I think it's ok to ask - but what's not ok is to ask and then get judgy about the answers. I also don't agree that "no secrets" is a good standard for a relationship. It isn't your duty to share everything, and if there's something the person finds out later then they get to be offended. People are humans. We have issues. We do stupid shit. None of us gets to be"holier than thou" about this. It's not your partner's job to tell you everything. It's your job to be the kind of person your partner t…
/r/PurplePillDebate24/06/19 04:00 PM
67

To me, porn is basically like junk food. It's not good for you, almost everyone watches it sometimes, and it seems ok as long as it's an occasional thing and you don't think too hard about how it's made. However, it has the potential to be pretty harmful if you over indulge. I don't think the woman in the OP is "right," but it's not all BS either. I do think monitoring him is going about 100 steps too far. Let him manage his private time. If it's impacting the relationship, then break up with hi…
/r/PurplePillDebate24/06/19 03:28 PM
1

Oh I think all rational people accept it. Bwahaha, no they don't at all. Just imagine most people hearing from their spouse that they also want to have sex with someone else, also have feelings for someone else, or really enjoy the company of someone else of the opposite sex and watch the relationship explode into DEFCON 4. I mean on some level people are aware of this, but by no means do they accept it in any way shape or form. What I'm personally uncomfortable is the next step of "therefore I'…
/r/PurplePillDebate24/06/19 01:21 PM
1

Because it challenges social norms that most people take for granted and they don't like the idea that maybe there is more than one way to run your life. The only way patriarchy can continue to be sustained is if it is socially enforced because most of the real world foundations that made it successful (land based agricultural economy) are mostly gone. So it makes people very uncomfortable to have to question their social order.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/06/19 12:35 PM
5

B is a very interesting consideration. If you’re that attractive, the treatment might seem so common that you don’t realize it’s unique. Now, I'm not going to say that many women are as dense as I can be at times, but that's not usually how it's happened. Several times men have come up to talk to me with some kind of pretext, say like asking for directions. They come up and ask for directions and it literally never crossed my mind that they want anything other than to know where XYZ restaurant i…
/r/PurplePillDebate23/06/19 11:07 PM
1

I would really brush up on some law or statistics This is not a legal issue at this time, nor is it relevant to statistics. Statistical methods assume a random variation. When the events have the same cause they are not random. Exactly, so you admit your accusation and the other accusations are political. You are motivated to find him guilty because he is a politician. I am in no way "finding him guilty." There are plenty of other examples I could give. You don't need to prove something beyond a…
/r/PurplePillDebate23/06/19 04:44 PM
5

Well it wasn't confusing at the time - I just took it as an obvious sign that I'm not attractive. Which of course just makes it even less likely I'll be putting myself out there. I'd also gotten the "intimidating" thing a number of times in college, which was probably true to an extent but I'm not an intimidating person in general. It wasn't until much later when I recognized myself as an introvert and what all that entails, as well as realizing that we live in an extroverted culture where I rea…
/r/PurplePillDebate23/06/19 04:18 PM
12

I've realized this is my issue. I'm attractive and everyone assumes I have men falling all over me all the time but I've literally been approached and asked for my phone number ONCE in my lifetime of 45 years. But, I'm also very introverted and spend most of my time either in my head or engrossed in conversation with people I'm with. I don't notice other people as a general rule. If I'm in the grocery store, I'm focused on my shopping and if a super hot guy walked by trying to catch my eye, I wo…
/r/PurplePillDebate23/06/19 03:27 PM
2

There's nothing wrong with saying "I can't form an opinion because there's not enough information". If you're voting to confirm him, then yes, you do have to pick a side. And not necessarily about whether he is guilty or not, but if he has displayed the character and qualifications to be on the supreme court. As another poster said, this isn't a trial, it's a job interview. Taking her seriously doesn't mean declaring him guilty, only declaring that there's enough smoke here that he shouldn't be …
/r/PurplePillDebate22/06/19 09:10 PM
1

Obviously. Thats why I'd view a new accusation the same way.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/06/19 05:14 PM
2

If each individual person had a separate circumstance they witnessed, there is no correlation between the circumstances. Of course there is an obvious correlation. The same person was involved in each. There is only "no correlation" if you believe sexual assault is essentially a random event, rather than believing that people who commit sexual assault are more likely to do it again. That's your subjective opinion. That's not based on any evidence. It's based on all the evidence and testimony of …
/r/PurplePillDebate22/06/19 03:06 PM
2

Not in terms of "redpill/regret the sex" philosophy, which was the question. Smearing a politician may be an upside, but it has nothing to do with redpill.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/06/19 02:45 PM
3

The principle is the same. The amount of people who claim something is true has no bearing on it's actual truth. While that's technically correct, it is not at all the same principle. The more people who come forward with similar stories increases each one's credibility. The chances that they are all lying is very low. Again when he's actually himself said he behaves this way.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/06/19 11:36 PM
3

So you don't expect celebrities to rob you, but she should have expected him to rape her? What?
/r/PurplePillDebate21/06/19 09:59 PM
3

Yeah, and meeting a celebrity probably isn't one of them.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/06/19 09:48 PM
3

That must mean it's true right? Why would thousands of people lie? You obviously know there is a difference between lying about something that actually happened to you and believing something false that you have no direct knowledge of. Right, so she has a monetary incentive to accuse men of rape. The more publicity she gets the more her book sales will go up And how much will she personally make in contrast to the shitstorm she just brought on herself? I highly doubt it will be worth it, especia…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/06/19 09:42 PM
6

Well, for starters, people could stop pointing out (probably not even accurately) how his emotions differed from hers when it has nothing to do with the case. I watched the hearings myself. It's accurate. And yes, it speaks to credibility and his suitability as a justice. It was a "he said/she said" situation and nothing could be done to him based on facts. There might be some sympathy towards not confirming him because hes shady, It's ridiculous to say nothing could be done. No,he couldn't be p…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/06/19 09:38 PM
4

Why would the amount of people, sans evidence of say payoffs or written confessions, mean anything? I don't believe Harvey would have been brought down if the people around him or the payoffs were not discovered or brought up and confirmed. Simply because the odds of 17 unrelated women lying about something like this are extremely low. Especially when the guy has on tape also said this is how he behaves. It's all consistent. And you don't view her accusation as a political attack at all? In this…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/06/19 09:24 PM
2

Good intentions? Do you assume innocence in a rich dude asking a female acquaintance to model lingerie? Well I certainly don't expect hell sexually assault me in public. Yes, the situation is creepy and weird but it's not easy in those situations to decide what to do.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/06/19 09:11 PM
3

People might give a shit if some actual standards are being followed, Such as what? How should something like the Christine Blasey Ford/Kavanaugh hearing be handled? She testified. She was calm,measured, smart, strong, and clearly emotionally impacted. He was angry and indignant. And nobody voted against him anyway. And I don't know about "smart and educated" but a woman who writes about how men are useless probably isn't the best role model for anyone Do you have any idea how she might have com…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/06/19 09:08 PM
3

Most people support an environment where women can be safe. Its so obvious that I'm suspicious of it even being brought up. The problem is that while most people do support this in the abstract, this is not the world women have been living in for a long time. This is why women are saying things need to change. Are we not allowed to talk about this crazy ass story? Death threats, I'd believe. Something happened in the changing room, quiet possibly. Her accounts of the events leading up to it? WTF…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/06/19 09:04 PM
6

Does this follow the RP idea that women will accuse men of rape later on, even if it's a false accusation, if the way they feel about the man's changes? AKA regret sex. No, especially since it seems that she didn't really have sex with him, reported it to friends at the time, and also nobody knew she had sex with him so there is no upside to this accusation Should rape accusations be judged for possible conflicts of interest (such as, the accuser having a book deal that could increase in profits…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/06/19 08:31 PM
3

Well, in practice it's not that bad. They have girls they just feel "meh" about or who are attractive but flaky or....some combination of desirable and undesirable. This is normal for pretty much everyone. Welcome to life. It's more like going to regular Burger King in that way lol. Edit to add: for most of these guys who have some self-respect, being alone is a totally viable option as well. It's not their first choice, but they don't see it as so bad that they 'have' to be with someone.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/06/19 03:53 PM
9

This is one of those times I read these threads and wonder if I live in some sort of alternate reality. None of this rings true for any dating I've done after high school. It all seems founded on stereotypes that barely exist because real life isn't like that. I will say that I once met online a very attractive hedge fund manager who called me from his Ferrari and hinted he'd fly me out to LA on his G5. (Long story but I do know this is true.) He seemed genuinely puzzled that I was interested bu…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/06/19 01:15 PM
0

I don't equate crying with all emotions. When I'm referring to "these emotions," I'm referring to sadness and grief, the things that make us cry. We need to be able to share ALL of ourselves, and cutting out sadness and grief from the equation cuts us off from ourselves and each other. When we think crying is bad or shameful and to be hidden and kept to oneself, we're not embracing our full humanity.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/06/19 05:09 PM
2

In order to get support and be intimate and share important parts of your life with other people. Humans are social creatures and we need to know we are not alone and that those who love us are there for us during moments we are sad. To me, the social standard that these emotions are somehow bad or shameful and to be kept away from other people is just not healthy. That's not to say that everyone should be crying in front of other people, just that the general idea that you're not supposed to (e…
/r/PurplePillDebate20/06/19 03:56 PM
4

Hahahahaha you're hilarious. You forgot to mention how many cats I'll have! I'm not saying I haven't made any mistakes or recommend this path to anyone else, but my life is actually pretty damned good.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/06/19 02:38 AM
10

As I said, I'm getting more attention from men than I ever have in my life. I have more people who want to date me than time to date. I'm really happy with the quality of men I'm attracting. Most people my age seem to be over this "red flag for a LTR" business and understand that life doesn't always work out the way you plan as most of them have been wrung through the relationship wringer in one way or another themselves.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/06/19 11:00 PM
12

This is strictly about sexual attraction levels. Men are the most sexually attracted to women in their 20s, regardless of who they're actually sleeping with or in a relationship with. This is fine as far as it goes, but what it means practically is that the whole concept of "the wall" is overblown as a practical tool. If guys aren't sleeping with or in relationships with these women, then from a market standpoint they are outside the market and aren't relevant. That's not what were talking about…
/r/PurplePillDebate19/06/19 10:22 PM
13

Well, according to redpill, my hypothetical SMV at 45 should be pretty near zero. That is the whole point behind the theory of "the wall." https://therationalmale.com/2012/06/04/final-exam-navigating-the-smp/ How am I misinterpreting this graph? Or this? "Most importantly it represents the threshold at which most women realize their lessened capacity to sexually compete with the next generation of women in their ‘actualized’ sexual peak (22-24). " Source:. https://therationalmale.com/2012/07/18/…
/r/PurplePillDebate19/06/19 09:33 PM
3

Sure, "a percentage." What percentage? Also it's not just about being slender. It's also about having a good career, little baggage, loving sex, and not being a bitch. All of those things work in my favor and the combination is what's truly uncommon.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/06/19 08:25 PM
8

What percentage of single 45 year old women do you believe fit this description? I mean yeah, there are some and you could find one anywhere but there aren't many.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/06/19 08:02 PM
7

By picky, do you mean in terms of looks and wealth? I mean, I can choose what's important to me. Looks are medium important to me. I do exclusively date very tall men, which is a component of looks I suppose, but they aren't all fitness models or anything. Wealth? Don't care as long as you have your shit together. What I am picky about is intelligence. You have to be really smart to keep my interest. But I do agree most older women are over the "bad boys." I was never really into it myself anywa…
/r/PurplePillDebate19/06/19 07:47 PM
14

And your point? I mean, who is going to describe themselves as unattractive when they are trying to attract someone? That's just terrible marketing whether it's true or not.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/06/19 07:27 PM
12

Your point? Those two things don't have anything to do with each other.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/06/19 07:01 PM
58

45F here. Twice divorced, no kids. I can afford to be pickier than ever. First of all, I don't need a man for anything. Don't want to be with me? That's fine. I have my own career and my own life. I can be super picky because I'm fine alone. Secondly, when I was 20-30 I was not particularly attractive. I was not the kind of girl who ever got much attention. I was fine but mostly unremarkable. I've come into my own at 45 and meanwhile I've taken care of myself better than most of my peers. My att…
/r/PurplePillDebate19/06/19 05:50 PM
6

Yes means yes should be the default social standard, but not a legal one. More than anything else I say this because we need to give women the sexual agency and even require them to decide for themselves what they want. Too many women don't seem to understand that they have an obligation to say yes or no clearly (verbally or non verbally), and make it ok and normal for them to do this so that it's not a stigma. Right now a lot of women don't even feel comfortable saying yes, and I get that, but …
/r/PurplePillDebate18/06/19 09:33 PM
4

I already have a best friend. And I'm pretty sure for most of human history the concept of a soul mate didn't exist. It's something we created recently to adapt monogamy to the modern era, not something that humans are programmed to want. That would disappear.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/06/19 04:11 AM
4

I believe men and women alike would still feel a void living totally in isolation. Of course they would. That's what friends are for! But it's not dating. Humans are social and need each other. Still, the monogamous one-one would disappear, other than those who wished to find someone specifically to be a co-parent.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/06/19 03:51 AM
2

Well I'll admit it's not easy to say either way, I mostly disagree with this statement. However, it does somewhat depend on what you mean by unearned external validation.it's also really hard to separate the two, because when you were internally confident you get a lot of external validation and it ends up being sort of a virtuous cycle In my experience and observation, the two most important factors of what gives someone true alpha self-confidence have to do with things that happened in his chi…
/r/PurplePillDebate16/06/19 03:49 PM
6

Yes this. Truly confident alpha men don't need validation. That's what's called SELF confidence. They may still hook up if they like it for its own sake, but they're not doing it for the validation.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/06/19 12:56 PM
2

That mortgage is the same whether there’s a kid living there or just the women so that doesn’t get to factor into child support. This is completely untrue. Obviously you need a bigger house to accommodate more people. In addition, the costs of real estate are very closely tied to what school district you are in (in most cities anyway). This is completely relevant to the life of the child and its future. A single person has a much different housing need than a person with kids. Also, it’s easy to…
/r/PurplePillDebate16/06/19 12:48 PM
8

Why would you think young teen males are only attracted to girls their own age? Again, not at all what I said. It was the OP who claimed everyone wanted the same girl. All I'm really saying is that 13 year olds are dumb and still figuring out what their hormonal urges mean, and are incredibly subject to peer pressure.. They aren't a good population to use as a proxy for the sexual preferences of adults. I'm not sure why this seems controversial.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/06/19 04:19 AM
17

It baffles me that so many people in 2019 still believe that (1) humans are born a blank slate (despite the massive body of scientific evidence to the contrary I said absolutely nothing of the kind. What I said was that the youngest teenagers are the worst group of people to study in this regard. Hell, one of the most frequently discussed measures of attraction is the waist-hip ratio, and most of the females in this age group haven't even developed to that point yet.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/06/19 01:39 AM
1

Should the government only enforce the minimum amount to buy food, clothing, education, a roof over their head and basic medical care and leave anything extra up to the father to supplement if he so chooses? If we are going to legally enforce that the father pays to ensure the children's same level of comfort, It should be between these two, obviously depending on the father income - a billionaire will just have to pay more than a dad earning minimum wage. But it's not reasonable to have things …
/r/PurplePillDebate15/06/19 11:01 PM
61

I have a theory that we can see what the attraction pattern of each gender is by looking at what they look for in young ages ,where there are very few factors that influence mating choice other than desire. I could not disagree more. Young people are influenced an incredible amount by peer pressure and socialization. Nobody even knows what they actually want and they're still figuring that out.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/06/19 10:10 PM
5

Exactly! Especially because a) this is Tinder and b) thats what she says she's actually looking for?!?!!
/r/PurplePillDebate15/06/19 08:39 PM
2

It is true that the divorce itself is easier as a legal process. Unsurpsingly, it's a lot easier to split assets than children, and it's easier to move on if you're not tied to that person for life through your kids. What makes this risky for men especially is the financial aspect. In the best case, divorce laws call for 50/50 split of assets acquired during the marriage. If the man earns more (as he usually does), he has more to lose. However, it is very possible that the money saved by having …
/r/PurplePillDebate15/06/19 07:59 PM
6

The account used pictures of the same person from r/gonewildchubby. Kate, a 25 year old woman, was the name of the account for this experiment. This isn't cool, presuming you didn't get her permission. Stiil, the attention on that sub didn't give you the idea that despite your own preferences, there are people who are attracted to larger people? Location: Mid sized city in the South. Length of experiment, 20 minutes of swiping, lasted for 4 hours until I got banned. The bio: "looking for somethi…
/r/PurplePillDebate15/06/19 07:31 PM
12

Having kids is MUCH riskier for women. Getting married is riskier for men. If a couple plans to have kids, these two somewhat balance out but it's riskier for the woman overall most of the time. If the couple doesn't have kids, it's riskier for the man most of the time. Edit to add: I think having kids for either gender is also much riskier than getting married.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/06/19 06:46 PM
2

I agree with this completely. A big part of why many women feel unsafe is because we've had it drilled into us constantly from childhood to be wary of strange men, as teenagers that boys will always try to take advantage of you, and then add to that some creepy experiences that didn't end in crime, and of course many women feel this way. We are socialized to this and then when it's reinforced at all it gains power.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/06/19 04:10 AM
1

Yes, I was thinking this. Yet another thing most men probably don't understand: earbuds as a defense tactic.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/06/19 04:05 AM
2

You're leaving out basically two giant factors: Emotional labor and opportunity cost
/r/PurplePillDebate14/06/19 02:28 AM
2

Tldr: we expect too much from marriage and rarely ever get it, which destroys the happiness we could have had by enjoying what we already have. It's a complicated answer and I'll try not to write a book, lol. For context, I'm 45f, twice divorced, no kids, non-monogamous. Basically I have come to believe that our social idea of marriage and what it "means" are just not realistic. Marriage used to be mostly an economic necessity and people set their expectations accordingly. Marriages of 200 years…
/r/PurplePillDebate14/06/19 02:05 AM
1

I'm not sure why most people are making this out to be solely about physical safety. That's certainly part of it, but not the whole thing. Ironically, the two men who responded about how they have felt themselves around a bunch of horny gay men DO get a lot of what many women feel like. It isn't that you literally believe you may get raped at any moment, it's that you often feel "like a piece of meat." Being vulnerable is not the same thing as being afraid for your safety.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/06/19 12:29 AM
7

I feel like there's a lot of room for people to feel differently about this, not all women are the same. Just because you or I may not feel the same doesn't mean it's fair to say women are "over exaggerating." I mean, I have no real fear of heights. I can stand on the edge of Half Dome and look over the side with no issue. It doesn't mean other people are exaggerating that they are terrified. It is true that the rate of actual danger is low (just as very few people actually fall off Half Dome) b…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/06/19 07:36 PM
2

Is it social contract where the man and women begin their adventure towards marriage and life long partnership? I think this best describes it for me. It doesn't mean you'll end up there, but it implies that's at least where you both intend to go. I will say I no longer believe this is healthy or workable for me, but I think that's what it means. We both agree that the relationship is "going somewhere."
/r/PurplePillDebate13/06/19 06:29 PM
7

You get it more than most, as many men never go into that kind of situation. Now just imagine they're all 6 in taller and 50 lbs heavier than you, and you're stuck in that club for your whole life. I think maybe Jimmy Buffet understood this feeling - "Fins to the left, fins to the right, and you're the only bait in town."
/r/PurplePillDebate13/06/19 06:16 PM
5

Because if you're a woman on the internet expressing any opinion about marriage/children/gender roles/career choices you will get mocked by someone. It doesn't matter what that opinion is, from traditional to f radical or even completely benign. The trolls are always the loudest. And also, the fact that you felt the need to express this kind of opinion on Twitter, unprompted by anything obvious, implies that you are staying this is the "right" way for women to be.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/06/19 06:07 PM
25

Men just do not get what it's like for women to feel like prey everywhere they go. They don't get the impact of the constant message of vulnerability. They don't know what it's like to feel intrinsically physically vulnerable in a sexual encounter.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/06/19 05:54 PM
5

I'll give you an example of the difference. I am female and was with a male friend on the beach at the Jersey shore. There were a lot of hot young things of both genders in bathing suits playing volleyball, tanning, swimming, you know, beach stuff. The girls were being typical catty entitled college girls, the guys were being jocks and showing off. He says to me, "I think all these girls are hot, but then they have to go and open their mouths...." I say, "Hmm...that's interesting, I never know i…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/06/19 05:41 PM
3

Being concerned about what someone looks like rather than who the person is - that's the definition of shallow. It is the one most important thing you won't compromise on. That doesn't mean what you're doing is wrong or bad, or even unusual, but it pretty much is the definition of shallow.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/06/19 04:21 PM
2

I think why people are calling this "sexist" is because there are various ways to interpret this statement. A) you are judging her as unworthy because you have "proof" she has had casual sex. Presumably you have casual sex also, so it's sexist to judge her based on something you think is perfectly fine for you to be doing. B) you are judging her as unworthy because you don't like these particular people and your judging her choices . Presumably you've made a few less than stellar sexual choices …
/r/PurplePillDebate13/06/19 04:04 PM
1

Sex is most powerful in the mind, and to men, in the mind, women have a lot of power, not only to arouse, but to give worth, self-worth, meaning, initiation, sustenance, everything. The biggest problem with this is that it is a fantasy that only exists in the mind. The only way to have a healthy relationship with actual, real, living women is to recognize that the fantasies of teenage boys (however compelling they may be) are not reality. Much of the red pill sexism seems to be anger directed at…
/r/PurplePillDebate11/06/19 09:36 PM
1

How submissive are you in general? Mainly how you interact with your friends, family, co workers etc I'm in the middle. I submit to people who make good decisions but will fight forever those who don't. How submissive are you in your relationship? Not very. How submissive are you in bed? I'm a switch. I can be submissive with certain people and dominant with others More submissive than dominant but not very far to either side. My general approach in all of these situations could best be summariz…
/r/PurplePillDebate11/06/19 08:07 PM
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