CuriousPerformance Archive

Upvotes	Title	Category	Author	Subreddit	Date (UTC)

Upvotes	Comment on	Subreddit	Date (UTC)
-7	NEVER 👏 STOP 👏 VETTING 👏 So you're saying there were warning signs and red flags here that Gabby missed? That she should have done a better job? I am not trying to be mean and hostile. But listen: there are non victim blaming ways to talk about red flags and how to vet people. Usually the best way is to use hypothetical situations or personal experience to explain these things. When you use a real life victim's story to say there are lessons here for women to learn, there is no possible way to make that anything other t…	/r/FemaleDatingStrategy	16/09/21 12:42 PM
-5	NEVER 👏 STOP 👏 VETTING 👏 Your title says NEVER STOP VETTING. Would vetting have protected Gabby? If not, why would you make that your title? If yes, then my original comment stands.	/r/FemaleDatingStrategy	16/09/21 12:18 PM
3	The fact that I'm still having these conversations with my girlfriends in the year of our lord 2019 is a fucking nightmare. You don't owe ANYBODY, ANYTHING. You NEVER have sex out of pity or obligation or coersion. I don't care if he gave you a kidney, you say thanks and keep trucking. The fuck. I just bought this book. It's fucking incredible so far, and I'm two chapters in.	/r/FemaleDatingStrategy	06/12/19 06:33 PM
3	The fact that I'm still having these conversations with my girlfriends in the year of our lord 2019 is a fucking nightmare. You don't owe ANYBODY, ANYTHING. You NEVER have sex out of pity or obligation or coersion. I don't care if he gave you a kidney, you say thanks and keep trucking. The fuck. Fear is the underlying cause of Stockholm Syndrome. Victims with Stockholm Syndrome are not stupid or "weak" or whatever: they are trying to survive under immensely threatening conditions using whatever tools they have at their disposal. Appeasement is a strategy to maximize safety when you're with a dangerous person. Fear is always behind all of it.	/r/FemaleDatingStrategy	06/12/19 06:31 PM
18	The fact that I'm still having these conversations with my girlfriends in the year of our lord 2019 is a fucking nightmare. You don't owe ANYBODY, ANYTHING. You NEVER have sex out of pity or obligation or coersion. I don't care if he gave you a kidney, you say thanks and keep trucking. The fuck. This is it. This was me during my marriage. Getting raped and still saying, maybe he just doesn't realize how much he's hurting me. It really was Stockholm Syndrome.	/r/FemaleDatingStrategy	06/12/19 12:53 PM
6	Lurkers, here is the secret amoral and toxic strategy The double standards are in.sane.	/r/FemaleDatingStrategy	03/12/19 06:32 PM
15	Why do men think this is an okay way to START a conversation? What a dashing figure he cuts! Impressive how much effort he's putting into wooing you. Did you go all quivery on the inside?	/r/FemaleDatingStrategy	03/12/19 06:25 PM
3	Dear Mods Hear, hear. Shaming is always wrong and always counterproductive. Kindness is important. One of the basic reasons why men are so shitty is that they emphasize hierarchy and shaming and have pissing contests over which of them is "more valuable." Trying to emulate that is, to use an outdated psychology term, identification with the aggressor. We don't want to become the same as those who have abused us. I say we make this a space where we cultivate high value traits within all of us and learn to …	/r/FemaleDatingStrategy	03/12/19 02:37 PM