Curious_Will222 Archive

Upvotes	Title	Category	Author	Subreddit	Date (UTC)
23	Am I The Odd Divorced Dad?	Getting Started	Curious_Will222	/r/Divorce_Men	15/07/26 11:23 PM

Upvotes	Comment on	Subreddit	Date (UTC)
1	Men that initiated their divorces, what things led you to that decision and what was the straw that broke the camel's back? She said she wanted a divorce 6 months separated, and 2 months of counseling. I was already hanging by a thread. Her reason was because I told her I wasn’t willing to erase myself to save the marriage. I had a lot of whys. I don’t want of publicly bash her, so DM me and I’ll give the you the list.	/r/Divorce_Men	02/08/26 01:15 AM
4	Is simply losing feelings enough to divorce? Bro, I think this might be a situation of the 80/20 rule. See “Tyler Perry’s Why Did I Get Married”. Not to sound judgmental , cause I don’t know you. I think you need a healthy dose of reality. And prolly some good coaching and mentoring in the husband department. I think the real question here will come down to her. Does she really love you, is attracted to you, and wants to be with you, or is she wanting to stay for security and convenience. That’s not inherently bad (that’s how marriage has …	/r/Divorce_Men	24/07/26 04:14 PM
2	Is simply losing feelings enough to divorce? Ok. So what’s stopping you from creating that? It’s one thing to not have intimacy. It’s another thing have contempt. My ex and I lacked intimacy. Begged for it for half the marriage until I gave up. Over time, and other major problems I won’t get into now, contempt grew. That was the end of the beginning. So are you just not feeling it, or do you actually no liek who she’s become as a person? Do you even know who she is? Does she? There’s a lot of questions that need answers. Also, how old are …	/r/Divorce_Men	24/07/26 03:36 PM
4	Is simply losing feelings enough to divorce? So technically you can divorce for whatever reason? Should you? No. That’s not how marriage was designed? You’ve told us how you feel. How does she feel? Does she want a divorce? You were with her 10 years already. Some vows and a sheet of paper didn’t change anything, but likely made you more aware of what was already there. Don’t rush this. Especially not while she’s pregnant. The stress of a knee jerk divorce will not be good for her or the baby. You’ve got time. Got to individual therapy and…	/r/Divorce_Men	24/07/26 03:10 PM
1	Shattered OP, I second this. As some who was the “betrayer” as far as infidelity goes, no answer to any of those questions will help you. Details will not help you. Especially if you don’t want to try to rebuild. If you do want of try to rebuild, and it is possible, SHE has to want is twice as much a you do. There’s a reason men don’t often get over being cheated on, because we know deep down once a woman crosses that line, her heart already with someone else and you’ll hardly ever get it fully back apart…	/r/Divorce_Men	23/07/26 11:45 AM
1	How do dads manage when they work all week and watch children all weekend? We do 1 week on and one week off in the summers. Give us time to plan trips both with the kids and solo. During school we do 2/2/5 which is: Mon/Tu- Mom Wed/Th- Dad Fri/Sat/Sun- alternating	/r/Divorce_Men	22/07/26 10:40 PM
2	Three years after divorce - alternative point I think the takeaway is that we were created for relationship. It’s doesn’t have to be kids. Could be friends you share a hobby with or travel with. Could be a cause you spend time volunteering with. Theres lots of options. I think once we don’t have one person that our whole world revolves around, we realize how big the world really is and how many other things and people can feed or souls.	/r/Divorce_Men	21/07/26 04:12 PM
3	Married for 10 years and confronted four times in the last two months when I found my wife cheating. I don't know. It done bro. That’s heartbreaking. She needs help. I was once a serial cheater and that led to my divorce among other things. You’re not getting any version of her back that you want without splitting changing in her. This isn’t about you. You didn’t do anything to cause this. She should have just been honest and left.	/r/Divorce_Men	18/07/26 06:28 AM
2	Psychological or financial prison? Why is it predetermined that you have to pay spinal support? Your spouse doesn’t work?	/r/Divorce_Men	18/07/26 05:24 AM
2	I'm checked out of my marriage You’re probably right. But it’s still work a try. Not for years. But a couple months later f really considering the consequences can make a difference. Big ultimately, it takes willingness.	/r/Divorce_Men	18/07/26 12:50 AM
3	I'm checked out of my marriage If you do end up divorcing, you’re in the best possibility scenario. No kdis or house to fight over Get individual therapy. Try to get her into couples counseling. See if you can get it he bottom of the issues. It won’t take long into couples to determine whether or not it will work. If things don’t change pull the trigger quickly and settle out of court with a mediator. Can be quick and painless. But try it make it work if you can.	/r/Divorce_Men	18/07/26 12:47 AM
2	I would rather not be alive at this point. You can’t find your identity in a woman’s approval. This is an emotional regulation issue. I don’t think you’re a pussy. More likely you just don’t know your worth as a man. You’re also in your 20s which means yo still got a lot of life to live. Not to be one of those people, but Gen Z is very cooked relationally. The standards and beliefs both men and women have are mostly self centered and toxic. Stay off social media. Get a therapist. Make some friends. And go pay for some happy ending massag…	/r/Divorce_Men	17/07/26 01:19 PM
2	Am I The Odd Divorced Dad? That’s understandable. But honestly, the kids don’t experience it that way. They could have 80% of their time with mom, but the 20% they spend with you can be full of joy, presence, & laughter that fill their memories. I have a friend who divorced when his kids were younger. Wife took the kids out of state. He only saw them maybe 2 weekends a month and holidays. But not they’re older and they have a much closer relationship with him than mom. He’s the best he they call for advice or just to vent…	/r/Divorce_Men	16/07/26 07:12 PM
2	Be Hopeful Same	/r/Divorce_Men	16/07/26 03:07 PM
2	What are the first few weeks of separation like? It might be in my near future. Hmm…sorry you’re going through it man. Marriage can be tough. Maybe separation is better inevitable, but it usually is just pre-divorce. Have ya’ll tried couples counseling? Biggest thing that stood out was “60-80 hours work weeks, trying to get out of debt, trips keep being planned” Sounds like a lack of alignment and shared priorities	/r/Divorce_Men	16/07/26 08:39 AM
1	Am I The Odd Divorced Dad? Yes! Same. No girlfriend yet. But I have a decent rotation	/r/Divorce_Men	16/07/26 07:55 AM
1	Am I The Odd Divorced Dad? I love that for you	/r/Divorce_Men	16/07/26 07:41 AM
1	Am I The Odd Divorced Dad? I’ve been thinking about the same thing. I’m gonna get iPads for my girls.	/r/Divorce_Men	16/07/26 07:39 AM
2	Am I The Odd Divorced Dad? That sucks man. I’m sorry it’s so hard for you. I guess in some ways I admire how much your kids mean to you. Mine mean alot to me as well. I literally have down almost everything from them since they were born. Was a SAHD for 2 years after the 3rd was born. That’s healthy that you realized you weren’t giving the other person the best parts of you. I guess I’m also realizing now that perhaps me being an introvert who loves solitude and alone time also has a part to play.	/r/Divorce_Men	16/07/26 02:36 AM
2	Am I The Odd Divorced Dad? Yes, I supposed the relationship with the mom can have an impact. For me, I don’t like my kids mom at all. She’s a buffet person than the one I married. I wasn’t with it fault. But to me, the kids are separate from the parents. That’s relationship are not intertwined even though they can sometimes feel like it.	/r/Divorce_Men	16/07/26 01:55 AM
1	Am I The Odd Divorced Dad? Definitely!! That’s crazy. Never heard of that before.	/r/Divorce_Men	16/07/26 01:52 AM
1	Am I The Odd Divorced Dad? Mine are still early elementary. But I guess the younger they are the harder.	/r/Divorce_Men	16/07/26 01:50 AM
1	Am I The Odd Divorced Dad? I can relate to that. The first feeling was just relief to be out of the crazy. Then all the other emotions slowly trickled in.	/r/Divorce_Men	16/07/26 01:50 AM
3	Am I The Odd Divorced Dad? Hahahaha!! That’s fair.	/r/Divorce_Men	15/07/26 11:49 PM
3	Am I The Odd Divorced Dad? Hahaha! After a week I’m ready for mine to go back. I’m learning that parenting doesn’t have to mean not having a life. My kids mom pawns them off on her family a lot as well. I can’t control that. But honestly, my kids are mostly fine.	/r/Divorce_Men	15/07/26 11:46 PM
2	Am I The Odd Divorced Dad? I can understand the age. My kiddos are 7, 7 & 5. My kids mom used to call everyday when the kids were with me. Sometimes multiple times. I shut it down though. Now she barely calls. Maybe once during the time they’re with me. We also negotiated that as part of our parenting plans lab at time of divorce.	/r/Divorce_Men	15/07/26 11:45 PM
3	Am I The Odd Divorced Dad? Hahaha!! I actually agree. Women are mysterious creatures. My divorce was a mixed bag. She asked for the divorce. I filed the papers shortly after. There was a lot of tension between us. She accused me of child neglect. Even tried to get me to take a polygraph testifying that I hadn’t molested my daughters (bc I was molested as a kid and she’s was worried I may hurt my kids). She’s was not the most engaged or reliable parent. I was essentially the primary caregiver. Ultimately we settled on 50/5…	/r/Divorce_Men	15/07/26 11:42 PM
7	How do I accept she’s never coming back? This is hard to answer. I feel for you even if I can’t relate entirely… Sounds like you might still be romanticizing the relationship, and her as a person. We don’t always see people as they are, but as we desire them to be. Our disappointment comes from the dissonance between the two. Also, it’s not true that it meant nothing. It means what you make it mean. That might take time. I’m still figuring out for myself. 2 months divorced. 15 months separated. Our divorce mediation day was the long an…	/r/Divorce_Men	14/07/26 05:55 AM
3	Won my hearing, I don't care. Sorry to hear bud. Sounds like depression which is understand. Movement, sun light and therapist will be your friend. Also, fire your attorney.	/r/Divorce_Men	10/07/26 02:52 PM
3	Today was a hard day Grief comes in waves buddy. Don’t think this is a setback. It’s a sign your heart is now healthy enough to handle the truth of what happened. Accept the truth. Don’t make her villain. Don’t make yourself the victim. Marriage is hard and it takes two. Repeated infidelity is inexcusable. Coming from someone who cheated on his ex multiple times. I feel for you. But the thing that I think is super positive is what you said about your son. Keep that momentum. Don’t hide from him, but also don’t let h…	/r/Divorce_Men	10/07/26 02:50 PM
5	Still living with ex - she asked to go out next week with someone on a date. i'm spiraling Don’t blame yourself for this. You need a support system. Does your kid know you two are slitting up? You said “we can’t afford a second apartment”. You don’t owe her that. You’re not a unit anymore. You take care of you and she takes care of her. Don’t screw up your future because your past has chosen to move on without you. You go this bro.	/r/Divorce_Men	10/07/26 02:46 PM
1	I could use some help. Yeah every state is definitely different. We have at fault divorce in TX. So that can be grounds for disproportionate division if assets. We don’t have alimony. A spouse may qualify for temporary spousal support, if they can prove economic disparity due to the marriage (like beings homemaker with no marketer skills so the other spouse could earn). Have to be married at least 10 years to qualify. And it’s capped at a certain amount regardless of income.	/r/Divorce_Men	10/07/26 02:37 PM
6	I could use some help. I second this. As someone who walked through infidelity, you almost never get the full truth up front.	/r/Divorce_Men	10/07/26 01:23 PM
4	I could use some help. Damn. This hurts. And will hurt. I was unfaithful in my marriage. But it’s was my way of dealing with stress and other issues. Usually if a woman cheats. Her heart is gone. Definitely do your best to get a therapist who deals in betrayal trauma. And then focus your energy on co-parenting. Also, use the infidelity and any proof you can get of it to make sure the courts don’t screw you over. You should walk away with 50/50 custody (if that’s what you want) and no financial support obligations.	/r/Divorce_Men	10/07/26 01:22 PM
1	Greywalling Tell your kids the truth. They’ll learn quick who’s who. Don’t try to protect them from her. They’ll end up blaming you for being and enabler later. If she tells them something that’s not true. Tell them the truth then show them proof. I heard a dad once whose ex was telling the kids he refused to pay for stuff or send them money. So he showed his kids all the money he sends to his ex for the kids. She looked real dumb when kids called her on it.	/r/Divorce_Men	09/07/26 05:26 AM