DB_Helper Archive

Upvotes	Title	Category	Author	Subreddit	Date (UTC)

Upvotes	Comment on	Subreddit	Date (UTC)
1	Is it possible for a guy that is 6/10 physically to end up with girls that are 8,9 or 10/10 physically, if the guy is smart, dresses well and works on his game? Yes, of course.... People who date for any length of time tend to be roughly matched in overall desirability as partners. If you're much higher on the other attributes, then you can be much lower on the physical attributes. What I will say is that if you're looking primarily at physical attractiveness as that you desire and you're going to be dating a partner who is significantly more attractive, you're likely to end up with a partner who has a lot of baggage and undesirable traits like narcissi…	/r/seduction	01/06/22 09:21 PM
1	Is it possible for a guy that is 6/10 physically to end up with girls that are 8,9 or 10/10 physically, if the guy is smart, dresses well and works on his game? You don't mention anything about your level of differentiation, or skill at validation, esteeming, and assertive communication, all of which will likely play a large role if you want to date someone significantly more physically attractive than you.	/r/seduction	01/06/22 07:41 PM
9	[CMV] One of the best ways for guys to get better at talking & flirting with women is to talk to women. I think you're right in that practicing small talk and flirting is an essential component of getting comfortable and good at it. I think the way you're expressing it here implies that simply talking to women would be sufficient. I think it's necessary, but not sufficient. There are lots of guys who talk to lots of women, but ultimately end up practicing some very bad habits and racking up a whole slew of burned bridges. I think the key is to combine learning about small talk, validation, and emp…	/r/PurplePillDebate	24/05/22 07:48 PM
6	Unconditional love doesn't exist Destroying your own life worrying about someone is not love. Handling your own shit and taking care of yourself and your wife in her time of need is love. “I love you so much I've made us both destitute while you were sick“ is not a good argument that unconditional love exists.	/r/PurplePillDebate	27/03/22 11:39 AM
1	What is the cause of Retroactive Jealousy? Hi. Was out for dinner with the family. Haven't looked at your post yet. Will have a look later tonight after kids bedtime.	/r/PurplePillDebate	21/10/21 11:51 PM
6	Why so difficult to find a cool girl? That's a good way to weed out cool women from your dating pool. That strategy selects for nervous insecure partners with low self-worth and an avoidant adult attachment style. The opposite of the traits you say you want. Great for finding one-time sex partners who can't tolerate the intimacy or vulnerability of a long term relationship. If you want to stick with it, then my suggestion would be to enjoy the sex for what it's worth and don't worry about getting in a relationship. Looking down the …	/r/seduction	15/07/21 11:33 PM
19	Why so difficult to find a cool girl? If you're finding that most of the women you meet are not cool, look at the common denominator in all your interactions to figure out what needs to change. There are cool women everywhere if you know how to look and appreciate their coolness.	/r/seduction	15/07/21 09:01 PM
4	No love no séx can make you the more sad, miserable angry person of the world. It's tough going without sex and feeling unloved. I've been there too, ave is a tough not to crack. And an appropriate response is to move toward that pain, push through it, and stay doing things that make you a more desirable sex partner (better sexual know how, mindfulness, validation, empathy, etc.) Ad avoid doing things that make you a less desirable sex partner (sulking, resentment, desperation, etc). Unfortunately, for many people their learned instinct (actually a response learned in chil…	/r/seduction	18/06/21 02:02 PM
2	Rejection after rejection after rejection...Pls hélp Several: Youtube: School of Life FightMediocrity Podcasts: I Hear You with Michael Sorenson Sites: Paging Dr. Nerdlove Kyle Benson You should know though, but this is a two-step process for you first have to get comfortable feeling good while being on your own, so that you are ready for a relationship. If you really, really want to skip that part, and I can point you towards more toxic resources and you can find a toxic relationship. I strongly advise against that though. It might be fun in the …	/r/seduction	18/06/21 12:59 PM
1	Rejection after rejection after rejection...Pls hélp Are you using an assertive style of communication? NVC (Nonviolent Communication) EAR (5 secrets) Interpersonal Gap (Wallen) Active Listening (Carl Rogers) Taking Boundaries (Pia Mellody) Are you appropriately esteeming yourself? Facing Love Addiction Beyond Codependency Feeling Great The Happiness Trap Are you validating most people you meet? Models I Hear You (Sorenson) Intimate Connections How Conversations Work (but Curzan) You only need one from each category, but it's good to know at least…	/r/seduction	18/06/21 12:03 PM
4	I really liked this girl until she made a trashy comment. I was telling her about my dog and she told me she wanted to be my bitch instead. It turned me off. Why do girls say this? Maybe she has a flirty sense of humor? I would suggest avoiding her going forward unless you want a life of happiness and fun. There are plenty of more "proper" girls to parter in life with.	/r/seduction	29/05/21 01:04 PM
1	If your man watches porn because he has limited to no access to sex with you, there is a 0% chance that you can pity yourself for the situation you got into. It's essentially using healthy boundaries to give you're parter the choice of coming into relationship or going out of relationship. It doesn't tell your partner what to do. It tells your partner what you intend to do in response to their choice of action. It's important that you be honest and committed to following through on your started response. Otherwise it ceases to be a healthy boundary and becomes an idle threat, nag, or manipulative and passive aggressive demand instead. The best refere…	/r/PurplePillDebate	14/04/21 07:59 PM
1	What are your standards? Other commenters, are these standards reasonable? They did ask for minimum standards. As long as your partner had lowered expectations, you should be fine. In all honesty, for a long time I thought I was doing good as long as everyone had an orgasm or three. "What are your minimum standards for pizza?" I put a number on it. I can do another one if you like. 99% of pizza encounters should end in a layer of cheese. It's true, in pedantic sense. But it didn't really give you much insight into whether the pizza is good pizza, and whether it's made …	/r/PurplePillDebate	31/01/21 01:07 PM
0	Even for guys, looks are not the only thing their personality becomes more and more important and looks become less. How you feel when you're with her becomes more important. Have you considered that how you feel when you're with her is the underlying attraction in both cases, and guys who place a large importance on looks feel better about themselves if they're able to get positive attention from a good looking girl, regardless of her personality. Do you feel. good about yourself? Sounds like you've already made the switch from looking t…	/r/seduction	17/01/21 01:00 AM
2	Too extroverted to pick up girls? 43 years old and counting...	/r/seduction	29/11/19 03:50 PM
2	Too extroverted to pick up girls? The way to tell if it is a anxiety coping mechanism or a genuine gift of generously providing entertainment for the people around you is to look at whether you feel like it's optional or not. if you know how to defuse the anxiety and feel comfortable without using goofiness then it is in all likelihood a generous gift to the people around you. If the only way you know to be comfortable and feel good about yourself in a social setting is by using goofiness, then in all likelihood it's an anxiety …	/r/seduction	29/11/19 12:11 AM
7	Too extroverted to pick up girls? There are many guys who act out like that in the name of poops and giggles. I used to be one of them and well I had a sneaking suspicion that it was making me appear needy and unattractive, I had no idea what to do about that or what skills I was lacking in the area of building attraction and desire. It's important to recognize that that acting silly is not being yourself, but being who you think will be most entertaining to others. It hides yourself behind a veneer of being silly fungi so that …	/r/seduction	28/11/19 08:06 PM
2	Am I the reason my dating life is trash? I think the line about having affection poured on you by your mom and your aunts struck me. My mom was a stay at home mom in my early years. I spent all my time with her, and I basically hung out with her and her friends a lot of the time. By the time I entered school, I had minimal social skills for dealing with other kids my age, and it took me years to adjust. I guess I was maybe I was projecting my own experience onto yours. sickly a lot of years trying to figure out who I was. I didn't know…	/r/seduction	25/10/19 01:40 PM
2	Am I the reason my dating life is trash? Basically it can lead to a fear of intimacy, because intimacy was too intrusive in your past. It can lead to a subconscious fear that there's something wrong with you, and a feeling that sharing intimate details might be dangerous and lead others to not accept you. It leaves you feeling empty inside a lot of the time, undue of what you're really feeling. It's really hard make close friends if you never feel like sharing your intimate details with anyone. The books to help overcome it are: Runnin…	/r/seduction	25/10/19 02:13 AM
1	Am I the reason my dating life is trash? Have you checked out CEN, childhood emotional neglect. One of the signs is a parent who loves you too much, to the point that it starts to feel almost overwhelming.	/r/seduction	25/10/19 01:27 AM
1	I finally tried to open up to my girlfriend tonight... Yes, I may hide my emotions, but doing so isn’t enough for me to want to leave the relationship. It's not a question of whether or will be enough for you to leave the relationship, but if it will be enough for her to leave the relationship. We all have a core need for intimacy; to know and be known; and if she doesn't get it then the urge to seek it out eventually becomes overwhelming. The drive to find the safety and security from fully knowing your partner, and knowing that they fully know and…	/r/MensRights	16/06/19 02:32 PM
2	Next level of stupidity, equal work really needs to be define Personally I find it highly insulting for the makers of the infographic to insinuate that a single mens footballer could beat a team consisting of all the women players combined. I can see their point though. These players are ultimately entertainers and they have a single job for which they are paid: To fill stadiums. Would a solo skills show by the top male player draw more fans (twice as many according to the graphic) as a demo game with all the women players? Is this really a case of "A woma…	/r/MensRights	16/06/19 11:36 AM
1	I finally tried to open up to my girlfriend tonight... Have you read any of the books below? My mom was quite similar, add it was never encouraged to show emotion around our house. I was a probe pleaser in the extreme. These were eye opening to say the least, as it just seems normal when you're in the middle of it. I still love my mom, and chat with her regularly just as I have for most of my adult life. My the lack of emotional content in our conversations is now very evident to me, and a stark contrast to the conversations I have with most other i…	/r/MensRights	16/06/19 01:10 AM
1	I finally tried to open up to my girlfriend tonight... I got 5 minutes into my synopsis before my girlfriend overtook my vulnerability and turned it into an opportunity to speak about her summer camp experiences for an HOUR AND A HALF. I was giving myself up to her emotionally and psychologically and was pushed to the wayside. That sounds rough, but no need to throw away a relationship over a lack of conversation skills. It might be time to introduce her to some empathetic listening resources though. You're an adult and can learn to deal with the la…	/r/MensRights	15/06/19 10:55 PM
1	Housing Transition, How To’s David Burns podcasts on cognitive distortions that lead to hoarding: Cognitive Distortions - Part 1 Cognitive Distortions - Part 2 Cognitive Distortions - Part 3 All You Need Is Love And how to overcome it: What is Anxiety What Causes Anxiety The Cognitive Model The Exposure Model The Hidden Emotion Model The Motivational Model And how to ask someone else to stop hoarding in a way that doesn't get their back up too much: Communication Part 1 Communication Part 2 Why people resist changing their …	/r/Divorce_Men	22/01/19 10:51 PM
1	Can we get a thread to request scientific evidence disproving some RP concepts? To be clear, I'm using beta here in the "oh he's in touch with his emotions" sense of the word, not the "he's willing to let himself be controlled by others" sense of the word. I wouldn't consider myself to sit in either camp overall.	/r/ExRedPill	20/10/18 07:52 PM
2	Can we get a thread to request scientific evidence disproving some RP concepts? I agree that it's dysfunctional to try to split people into beta/alpha. I think that what they're really talking about is where those people sit on the passive/aggressive continuum. I come down very strongly on the side of an assertive middle ground. I do think that most people are fairly predictable, myself included, but I don't think there are large differences across gender lines. At the end of the day, I think looking at how others are meeting their needs for self esteem, intimacy, and freed…	/r/ExRedPill	20/10/18 07:48 PM
3	Can we get a thread to request scientific evidence disproving some RP concepts? I keep discovering more all the time. In currently listening to Gary Chapman's "Loving your spouse when you feel like walking away". It took me 3 years and a lot of very beta tears to find them all. The good news is, once you get a handle on them, anti-dread becomes the obvious way to get more sex, which was, after all the reason I stated looking. Any sort of dread based game suddenly looks pretty juvenile, futile, deceitful, energy sapping, and hopeless. I've done a lot of research on this, and…	/r/ExRedPill	20/10/18 05:44 PM
3	Can we get a thread to request scientific evidence disproving some RP concepts? There are tons. Check out the work of: Sue Johnson Sandra Murray Murray Bowen Stan Tatkin Daniel Coleman Edward Deci Richard Ryan David Burns Esther Patel John Holmes Michelle Weiner-Davis Neil Satin There are many more.	/r/ExRedPill	18/10/18 11:18 PM