TheRedArchive

~ archived since 2018 ~

DEERinRPHeadlights Archive

View 3 posts and 65 comments by DEERinRPHeadlights on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
Search in:
In subreddits:
More
Filter by year/month:
Upvotes Comment on Subreddit Date (UTC)
1

I know some changes I want to make. Not all of them. And I’ll post them as I do them or am beginning to achieve them.
/r/MarriedRedPill22/11/18 08:45 PM
1

The gap between the squat and press numbers are interesting. Interesting?
/r/MarriedRedPill22/11/18 08:44 PM
1

The best tool in our situation was for me to lead the household better. I don't want to lump depression and anxiety in the same basket, but it does take a load off their shoulders when you are making decisions and leading the household. Most people actually need to be told what to do. They will never admit it, even fight you on it, but there is some comfort in just following orders instead of trying to figure out what the next step is. At the risk of sounding autistic, can you give me some examp…
/r/askMRP20/11/18 10:55 PM
1

So. Fucking. What. You don't know if that's true, and even if it was, what does that even mean? Should you atone for that, be a good little beta for her and stay in her frame? Do you think that will make you happy? It’s hard to stay out of the negativity. How am I supposed to stay fun and awesome when the mother of my kids is weeping about something or blaming me for something I did wrong months / years in the past. I’m struggling to see how STFU, AA or AM works in these situations. Maybe WISNIF…
/r/askMRP20/11/18 10:44 PM
1

All of that to say, this is a process. Quit overthinking, and overwhelming, yourself. Take your time and enjoy the ride. I do need to stop overthinking it but I think taking my time is not something I can do. It’s taken me 9 months to do very little. I’m not expecting overnight change but certainly some changes in myself by early next year.
/r/MarriedRedPill20/11/18 09:53 PM
1

You strike me as a guy who knows where he's been, but not where he's going. You don't have a clear path forward. Correct. Focusing is a big problem. I read that response just now from Matrix, he really ripped you a new one didn't he? But he's right. Yeah. He is right. So which direction are you going to go?Sometimes you just have to trust the process and the details of the plan will reveal themselves as you do the work. This the plan. I’ll say now I’m gonna do it. I need to back this up though. …
/r/MarriedRedPill20/11/18 09:44 PM
3

Info: Age 35. 5’9”. Weight 155. BF about 14%. Wife SAHM 35, married 3 yrs, together 15 with 3 kids under 7. Lifts. SQ 220, BP 135, DL 250, OHP 90, ROW 120. I don’t enjoy getting called out on my BS but it helped me when u/matrixtospartanatLV called me out the other day. I’ve read that post like 15 times without replying. I started replying in my head, disagreed, tried to justify things, but he was mostly right. I’m nowhere near where I should be. But you know what, reading that and reflecting on…
/r/MarriedRedPill20/11/18 05:32 PM
2

I read your post from 206 days ago, 137 days ago, and today. They all read relatively the same. 7 months in MRP and you’re still having the same problems and at Dread level 2? I’d ask what the fuck is wrong with you but I already know... Fuckarounditis and a lack of core belief in the praxeology here. Yes, it’s a toolbox, but you won’t seriously engage in the process long enough to learn how to understand how to use the tools and what they do individually. Your wife is not any more or less broke…
/r/askMRP20/11/18 04:52 PM
1

insert the > character to copy previous thread Thanks
/r/askMRP20/11/18 04:34 PM
1

Please explain further. Are the NMMNG people saying you are making it worse? Or are you repeating your wife's complaints? That would be important for us to know. I’m repeating her comments and not those of any NMMNG forums. I’ve hid shit from her. Me going to see a shrink for some stress, drinking and hiding empty bottles, hell I even bought a motorbike and stored it at a friend’s house without telling her. First, I would talk to her therapist for a few minutes and ask him/her how you should han…
/r/askMRP20/11/18 04:33 PM
1

You're dead in the water - great! Dread is a byproduct of being attractive and having options, not an implement to be wielded with predictable outcome. It's not something you do to her. It's not for her or about her. Things will change. Whether that makes the marriage better, worse, or the same is had to predict. I get that it’s a byproduct. Maybe I could have phrased the question differently. The outcomes may not be predictable but there is a pattern. As you become a more high value man, the dr…
/r/askMRP14/11/18 09:34 PM
1

While depression as a medical condition sucks - Her using you are a scapegoat for her negative feelings is a she problem. It should be a she problem. I’ve allowed it to be conditioned into my problem. She feels like she isn’t good enough ( she isn’t , is she?) Is this rhetorical? Your job is to be awesome so she can get lost in your awesomeness and not be depressed. Ok I gotta ask a stupid question. I know what I enjoy and what I consider awesome. That’s what I want. Of all the things that come …
/r/askMRP14/11/18 09:27 PM
2

And OP - if you're worried about looking like the bad guy for divorcing someone with depression, guess what - no matter what the circumstances you'll be viewed as the bad guy in a divorce. That's how they work regardless of why. I’ve come to realise this. I have the advantage of already being viewed as the bad guy for previously being deceptive. So apply DGAF here regarding what other people might think, then ask yourself what you want to do. This is where I struggle. I’ve avoided what I want to…
/r/askMRP14/11/18 09:20 PM
1

I have no doubt that you/ kids are happier and work/ life is better. For me, the grass does appear greener but I recognise that I am not a high value man yet. I have a plan to get there fighting every step of the way. The grass won’t be greener otherwise. As I’m getting there I’ll give time for the 1000 foot rope to tighten but I’m fully aware that this may never happen and I may ultimately have the same realisation.
/r/askMRP14/11/18 06:12 PM
1

In my previous OYS posts you can see I’ve only just started trying to use the tools that have been mapped out for faggots like me in the sidebar. I’m currently at Dread level 2. Working out what greens and reds I have in my MAP. Stats are unchanged. I got great encouragement from the success stories post. I read most of them and have book marked it. Also went back over some WISNIFG. I’m writing another post about my current dread level and how my wife’s depression seems to be multiplying the lev…
/r/MarriedRedPill14/11/18 12:36 AM
1

My OYS list was a little late last week. I read about 25% of MAP. I’m enjoying it and can see how this can help. I’m tempted to read it faster but self reflection shows me that I can get immersed in something and then don’t internalise. Did this with NMMNG I’ve had a hard time picking up my covert contracts. I noticed a covert contract this week. My SMV is higher than hers. While I’m not up to the levels in the gym that I want to be (and others here have suggested I need to be), I’ve realised th…
/r/MarriedRedPill06/11/18 10:56 AM
1

OYS #3 Fuck. So much for a short post as planned. Info: Age 35. 5’9”. Still exactly 155. BF about 14%. Wife SAHM 35, Marie’s 3 yrs, together 15 with 3 kids under 7. Lifts. Have to deload as missed gym lots this month. SQ 220, BP 135, DL 250, OHP 90, row 120. Came here 6 months ago after discovering a little before that. Hard to say if I’ve actually swallowed the pill. Something I realised was I was checked by in frequently to see what the responses were and I believe this to be for validation ra…
/r/MarriedRedPill01/11/18 12:21 AM
2

I need to firm up on this. I started with a similar train of conversation but then deered before I STFU.
/r/askMRP30/06/18 08:19 PM
1

“I bet she powertalked you in that conversation as well” This is a new term to me but I’m guessing yes. I’ll read about it and answer later. This discovery and another nice guy fuck up is putting her on the verge of killing the puppy so she could be trying to sabotage things or make me react and give her a reason to do it.
/r/askMRP30/06/18 08:15 PM
1

I’ll keep that in mind. Thanks.
/r/askMRP30/06/18 08:06 PM
1

Tempting. This will kill the puppy.
/r/askMRP30/06/18 08:05 PM
2

See I wouldn’t have done this. I’d have kept it secret and let it be a problem. This part of owning my shit is something I’m not doing.
/r/askMRP30/06/18 08:03 PM
1

I had / have nice guy avoidance tendencies. I made the situation of me being untrustworthy. My fault, my problem.
/r/askMRP30/06/18 08:01 PM
3

I was thinking this at the time and almost told her about the positives as she only saw negatives. I decided that STFU was better.
/r/askMRP30/06/18 05:27 PM
3

Certainly feels that way!
/r/askMRP30/06/18 05:26 PM
0

I’ll use that if she brings it up again. After I initially stopped deering, that’s what happened. Except she’s still acting a bit shitty. I’ll keep doing me and leave her to it.
/r/askMRP30/06/18 05:25 PM
0

I didn’t change in the past as I had nothing to hide. Except apparently I did. I change it now and it looks like I’m hiding something which will probably damage the relationship further. Doing. Cough. I need to work much harder on this .
/r/askMRP30/06/18 05:22 PM
0

First of all, thanks. Your comment puts her view into perspective in a way I wasn’t able to write. “You shutting up is not giving her anything to work with. You are telling her to look at your actions, but your actions last year are an emotional affair and internet links on how to pick up women and how to keep them by making them jealous. You working on your body is nice for a while but it could mean that you want to be more successful at getting some strange. After all you failed to score last …
/r/askMRP30/06/18 05:19 PM
1

Yes I am free to read what I want but she clearly judges me for it.
/r/askMRP30/06/18 05:08 PM
3

Had I not read a few recent posts about not talking about fight club, I would have showed her how MRP is different to TRP and is about improving myself for me to be happy in my marriage.
/r/askMRP30/06/18 05:06 PM
2

I mean from the perspective of a blue pill wife. I’m not scared of her per se, but I still give a fuck what people think.
/r/askMRP30/06/18 05:01 PM
3

I’d love if this was a troll. Then I wouldn’t be actually in this mess.
/r/askMRP30/06/18 04:54 PM
1

Bingo.
/r/askMRP30/06/18 04:52 PM
1

Not to gang up on me. Just to continue the victim role / mentality.
/r/askMRP30/06/18 04:52 PM
1

I’ll respond as her: “Working on what. Picking up women, treating me like crap because that’s what this is. Would a husband who loves and respects his wife want to be that type of person” She hit me out of the blue with it, then hit me with some more NMMNG mistakes I’ve made and finished me off with affair. I initially started to deer and explain. Then just fogged to watch my actions and STFU. The subject is against the grain to a blue pill beta. I haven’t internalised RedPill truths properly an…
/r/askMRP30/06/18 03:06 PM
1

That’s how I found it too. I STFU and it haven’t been said since but it’s clear that the issue is still lingering.
/r/askMRP30/06/18 02:10 PM
2

I’ll get there.
/r/askMRP30/06/18 02:00 PM
3

That is accurate. That’s why I’m here. Im not ok with this. I’m so far in her frame and blue pill that I’m not sure how to react when she flips the conversation back to how my affair nearly broke her. I didn’t bring the snooping up as a problem as the response to something similar in the past was affair affair affair. This time I STFU and tried to treat her opinion of TRP as no big deal.
/r/askMRP30/06/18 01:27 PM
3

Yep.
/r/askMRP30/06/18 01:22 PM
1

I’ll try and see it as enjoying her banter.
/r/MarriedRedPill29/05/18 09:41 PM
1

Ha. Not that I know what I’m talking about but I feel that her quick wit is a defender mechanism that she developed very early. My 2 best friends for the same time say the same thing about her retorts to banter- always has a comeback. I can completely see how it sounds like I’m putting her upon high. That’s really helpful. So just because I learning new conversational techniques doesn’t mean I’m in a competition with her. No sex for a while due to recent pregnancy and some of the various things …
/r/MarriedRedPill29/05/18 09:38 PM
1

OYS #2 Info Summary: Age 35. 5.9, 155 lbs. 16% Navy method. Wife 35 SAHM. LTR 15 years. Married 3 years. 3 kids, 6yrs, 5yrs and infant. Overall: I have a very long way to go. Yeah I‘ve hit the gym and read some books and understood some concepts but I haven’t internalised or applied anything properly. The last 2 weeks have been up and down in my MRP journey. I’m being deliberately vague as I’m scared about how my wife would react if she were to read this sub. I do give a fuck. I have no OPSEC an…
/r/MarriedRedPill29/05/18 05:14 PM
1

Only reason I care about dread is that it’s a part of the sidebar and recent challenge on here. I’m avoiding the 60 DOD now due to recent pregnancy.
/r/MarriedRedPill21/05/18 07:56 PM
1

> You should improve your reading comprehension because the majority of the posters there are laughing at the OP's "right amount of dread" comment. > Maybe you're right. I could use some work on my comprehension. It was the reply from u/BobbyPeru which found helpful as opposed to OP > failure to create dread, and lack of leadership. It pissed her off because she see you as beta and if this other girl knew you.... basically, this is not dread, but contempt. Contempt is the result of your failure …
/r/MarriedRedPill21/05/18 03:45 PM
1

I DEERed like nobody has before was where you failed.> Yep.
/r/MarriedRedPill21/05/18 02:23 PM
1

If you're basing it off her responses, then you're doing it wrong.> Maybe I’m misunderstanding this but isn’t dread “putting the fear or ‘dread’ in your wife that you have other opportunities and other options rather than being chained to her whims” (BPP). What is the point of dread if it’s not to get a response? I read another post https://www.reddit.com/r/askMRP/comments/8ks7xk/need_help_xpost_from_rmarriedredpill/ where a comment really hit home – “failure to create dread, and lack of leaders…
/r/MarriedRedPill21/05/18 02:18 PM
1

On cell phone and I don’t know how to format. It sounds like whatever she uncovered and your eventual DEERing portrayed a man who is thirsty. This is the opposite of what will get her wet. Dread is more about other women coming after you. The levels of dread aren't you trying to get pussy, it is you improving yourself to the point where the pussy comes to you. This is what she said she was upset about. Me falling for a younger woman who was only showing interest in me because we worked together …
/r/MarriedRedPill15/05/18 09:31 PM
1

High Bar. Never really tried low bar. Yes tried front squats. Let my ego get the better of me and tried too heavy. I didn’t have the form to go as heavy. Going to drop it back today. I broke my neck a long time ago and when the bar rests on my shoulders, I feel pressure from my neck to my shoulder blade. Like the nerve is stretched. That then stays for days and if you squat every other day, it never goes away.
/r/MarriedRedPill15/05/18 08:32 PM
1

To at least start developing some outside hobbies. I don’t envisage any contact for quite some time. Just bags, pads and fitness. Neck is only an issue when I squat heavy so no issues in last 10 days or so.
/r/MarriedRedPill15/05/18 05:23 PM
1

I take your point. What was seen was “emotional affair” type relationship. Once I saw it for what it was, it went offline. I only just switched from real squats but going to switch back, decrease weight and increase reps. Got to 1.5 x Bodyweight and this is where the neck started to be troubled. Hack was fine but I felt it was all quads. Feedback so far is hack squats are gonna cause me problems in the long run.
/r/MarriedRedPill15/05/18 05:20 PM
1

I only switched to the hack squat when my neck was bothering me. Plan is to let it die down. I tried front squats but the same I just was preventing me lifting more than my body weight which I felt was too light. Maybe I’ll switch from hack to lighter compound squats but increase the reps till I sort my neck out. Anatomy research is added to goals for the week. Thanks.
/r/MarriedRedPill15/05/18 05:13 PM
2

OYS #1 Info Summary: Age 35. 5.9, 155 lbs. 16% Navy method. Wife 35 SAHM. LTR 15 years. Married 3 years. 3 kids, 6yrs, 5yrs and infant. Background: See first post: https://www.reddit.com/r/askMRP/comments/8e69o5/pass_or_fail_these_shit_compliance_test/ I’m a nice guy with a savior mentality and captain with constantly complaining first officer and I put myself here. Oh, and I was probably a functioning alcoholic without realizing but I’ve cut back on 90% on booze. I don’t think I have as far to …
/r/MarriedRedPill15/05/18 12:37 PM
3

His personal trainer was his ego. Not an actual trainer who would have given different advices.
/r/askMRP12/05/18 03:15 AM
1

Great link. I saw another post with links to many more of his posts. I’ll check them out.
/r/askMRP25/04/18 10:20 PM
1

That post really hit home and explained a lot.
/r/askMRP23/04/18 07:16 PM
2

Beta Bob is exactly what I’ve done in the past and the way you’ve phrased the message of plans will defiantly help me going forward. It did feel like I was checking with Mommy where it didn’t need to had I lead like you highlighted.
/r/askMRP23/04/18 04:37 PM
1

Mine isn’t as bad as some cases but we all have varying degrees of different problems. I read the horror stories and the responses in the threads. Then I reread what I was going to post and deleted the fuck out of it. So many “she’s” and not enough “I’s”. That was when I discovered MRP. Thanks for the advice.
/r/askMRP23/04/18 04:26 PM
2

This grasshopper has much to learn before this approach would remotely work in my favour.
/r/askMRP23/04/18 03:10 PM
1

I took STFU way to literally. That sounds like exactly what happened.
/r/askMRP23/04/18 03:09 PM
1

No problem. It was going to be 30 mins added to my trip but I felt like I was reporting my whereabouts. I easily could have and I was incorrectly trying to establish some frame. Much to learn but I need to show leadership.
/r/askMRP23/04/18 03:02 PM
1

This is what I was looking for. I was taking it too literally.
/r/askMRP23/04/18 01:52 PM
1

I’m standing there frozen wondering how would a seasoned MRP answer this. However, a seasoned MRP wouldn’t be here. Beta me is ok with letting her know but it does feel like reporting to mommy as one of the other posters mentioned. I guess I’m trying to hard to apply some of the principles I’ve read.
/r/askMRP23/04/18 01:38 PM
1

Agreed
/r/askMRP23/04/18 12:23 PM
1

Yes it does appear that I’m completely over thinking this and I could have avoided this. Will keep reading.
/r/askMRP23/04/18 12:23 PM
1

Thanks.
/r/askMRP23/04/18 12:21 PM
You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

© TheRedArchive 2026. All rights reserved.
created by /u/dream-hunter