DadLyfeYall Archive

Upvotes	Title	Category	Author	Subreddit	Date (UTC)

Upvotes	Comment on	Subreddit	Date (UTC)
1	Time heals all wounds Lmao sounds mostly like my ex. I have to deal with her during visitation exchanges but she won't hardly make eye contact. Which I guess is kind of a blessing, no chance for conflict in front of my kid. At first it felt incredibly disrespectful, like she was disregarding my existence as a person. But I prefer it that way now. We're able to co-parent at the very most basic level, better than nothing.	/r/Divorce_Men	24/01/24 12:41 PM
6	My ex just got a ridiculous OFP against me and 3/4 children. I can’t believe she did this. This was easily the dumbest thing she’s ever done. Let me educate this poor fella. Here's my situation and how the courts handle it. I was actually unemployed starting a week before separation when my ex took my kid and left. Domestic violence protective order followed as they always do. 3 months later haven't seen my kid, go to court, judge throws it out, I get reinstated some visitation. Start a new job that same month making double what I made months prior. 2 months later there's a child support hearing, Judge orders me to pay an ongoing rate…	/r/Divorce_Men	13/01/24 01:19 AM
1	Stuck and need some advice Yep we know what lengths a dude will go to when he wants something. The emotional cheating is her getting attached to a guy who is playing the friend/confidant role until the door opens and he can start smashing.	/r/Divorce_Men	12/01/24 05:10 PM
1	Stuck and need some advice I read a post in the main r/divorce forum from a woman a while back where basically she said she had zero desire for her husband anymore and saw no purpose in engaging in sex or leading him on. Then they separated, and before long at all she was getting boned by a new guy and suddenly remembered how much she "missed the physical contact". Classic situation there, don't let it be you. Draw the line, draw up papers, end that disaster. First responders are like a whole other breed too, they're almo…	/r/Divorce_Men	12/01/24 05:09 PM
1	Stuck and need some advice Guilty ppl project their guilt. Happens ALLLLL the time. My ex did it too. Gaslight the fuck out of you to try and keep smelling like a rose when their behavior reeks of shit. Time to rip the bandaid off man.	/r/Divorce_Men	12/01/24 05:06 PM
1	Stuck and need some advice Get your ducks in a row before she has all those cop dicks in a row, know what i mean?	/r/Divorce_Men	12/01/24 05:02 PM
2	Stuck and need some advice Yoink her off the pedestal and into the dumpster so fast her head will spin. You can't hope or ask for respect, you have to demand it. Assert dominance!	/r/Divorce_Men	12/01/24 05:00 PM
2	Is it selfish to want to be happy? You better hope she feels the same way. Because if she feels betrayed, you're in for a hell of a ride when she lawyers up. Most likely ain't worth it.	/r/Divorce_Men	12/01/24 01:38 PM
5	18 months later and still dreaming about her every single night. Yikes I guess in that regard I'm one of the lucky ones. I hate my ex with a burning passion and my current GF hates her even more. We'd love NOTHING more than to be rid of her forever... but she's the mother of my daughter so not an option. Glad I'm not pining after her though, eff that.	/r/Divorce_Men	10/01/24 07:51 PM
1	Feeling Low Good work on lawyering up early. Please PLEASE listen to your attorney and let them do their job. Don't make the mistake I made. I was petulant, impatient, distraught missing my kid, and really screwed things up. But even I got through it and still am very active in my daughter's life. But I'm also broke- hopefully you can prevent that!	/r/Divorce_Men	03/01/24 12:56 PM
2	Feeling Low "MOST" guys don't abuse women. The courts know this, and also consider that they frequently see the worst of the worst. Put some work in early while it really counts and be prepared. Lots of good advice in this forum to prepare you for what's coming. Prove your character, prove it was an accident, don't lie or deny. Judges tend to be very keen observers.	/r/Divorce_Men	03/01/24 12:53 PM
2	Feeling Low She will need more than that to take your children from you. I'm sure she already has or is taking advice from an attorney or a woman who has been through this before. Because they will coach her in how to use this victim mentality to appear battered, helpless, etc. The good news is she has to PROVE abuse, with intent. Accidents happen, make sure the judge sees and understands that. Do it through proving your quality of character. Bring character witnesses (friends, family, etc). I know it seems…	/r/Divorce_Men	03/01/24 12:51 PM
4	Feeling Low Lost my daughter twice and (I believe, from experience in court) came dangerously close to losing her for good. Good news is that unless you're a perpetual fuck up/repeat PROVEN (contrary to what it seems like right now, she needs to PROVE her claims) abuser or drug addict, the courts WANT you in your kids life. Unfortunately, the extent of which heavily depends on multiple factors, lawyers, evidence (or lack thereof), etc. I'm going to assume you don't want to become a dootmat that barely sees …	/r/Divorce_Men	03/01/24 12:41 PM
2	Letting the F#%$ Go I see and agree with your point, I had not considered the perspective of this being primarily a sounding board. I'm just worried that hurting vulnerable guys who are (rightly) angry will turn their anger against women in general. I'm always so happy though to see guys who successfully moved on and found someone else. Gives me hope for the future. SOME women are pretty terrible though, that I won't ever disagree with. My ex may be one of them. I say "may" because despite what she did, she comes f…	/r/Divorce_Men	03/01/24 12:21 PM
2	Letting the F#%$ Go Been through the allegations... just the worst thing someone can do to another person. At least the courts are finally starting to wise up a little.	/r/Divorce_Men	02/01/24 02:47 PM
2	Letting the F#%$ Go Keep fighting, hang in there. I miss my little girl every day she's with her mom. But I feel in time the situation will change for that better. Maybe even her mom will finally realize I'm doing my best as a dad and back off. But until then, I keep fighting and making the most of the little time I have. Tears for you this morning, I know that pain TOO well d	/r/Divorce_Men	02/01/24 02:45 PM
2	Letting the F#%$ Go Ain't that the truth. When your safety and comfort become a literal nightmare. Well ... I'm her nightmare too! And I never let up. I'll fight for my kid until I got no breath left to fight with. I didn't always feel this way, but found my way and know my purpose.	/r/Divorce_Men	02/01/24 02:42 PM
3	Letting the F#%$ Go Damn man I feel that in my bones. But keep fighting, do it for your boys if nothing else. At some point, it will be over. Then the real work begins. And it may take years and years but at some point she will grow tired of the constant battles and you'll find peace again. But for custody battles, you've got to go in there like a Spartan! 💪💪	/r/Divorce_Men	02/01/24 02:40 PM
3	Letting the F#%$ Go I get all the pain and frustrations here, I really do. But not all women are out there getting "dicked down" by half the neighborhood after separation/divorce. I love this sub, I really do. The comradery has helped me get through a lot. But the misogyny needs to end. Women are not the problem. You can't group all of a gender (50% of all people more or less) together with that kind of behavior. Sure there are some really bad apples and so many of us have got totally bent over. But please guys, le…	/r/Divorce_Men	02/01/24 02:23 PM
1	Don't let your hate towards your ex wife turn into hatred of women Pretty sure this account is some kind of AI bot lol	/r/Divorce_Men	18/12/23 01:26 AM
2	35yo dad completely lost on what to do or where to go from here My ex made me feel like a sack of shit too. But I've learned a lot from that, learn my own value even though it's tough at times. Break free from her negative energy. She's ain't worth it.	/r/Divorce_Men	27/09/23 01:50 AM
1	35yo dad completely lost on what to do or where to go from here Hey man you sound just like me 2 years ago. Great news! It gets better! For some, a lot better, for others just a bit better. If you're not on meds, maybe consider trying some new ones. I had been on SSRIs off and on which really screwed with me. On Wellbutrin now, have been for a little over a year. It made a huge difference. Not sure if your religious but no better time to try it out. My point is you need fellowship with other men, likely chance that at least some of them have been through sim…	/r/Divorce_Men	27/09/23 01:48 AM
2	How long did it take you guys to rebuild? Yeah ok that makes sense then. I fought for primary hoping the courts would settle on 50/50. I did that because the ex was fighting for sole custody with almost no visitation. I hoped I could prove that if I was given primary, even just 60/40, that I would be the one willing to compromise and work with her because she made it clear she'd never budge an inch . She has an unnatural obsession with being "tough". Sure enough, she gets primary and has stood steadfast in her refusal to coparent with m…	/r/Divorce_Men	27/09/23 01:35 AM
2	How long did it take you guys to rebuild? That's what I would like to know. At the time of the child support papers being drawn, I was told I would be paying 1200+ and then 800+ in arrears for a period of 6 months. We both made around 90k (AT THE TIME - she is a full time worker with years of senority, I was a contract worker who had JUST STARTED that contract, making a lot more than my previous contract). REALLY curious how you got yours down to $150.	/r/Divorce_Men	26/09/23 02:58 PM
1	You can really tell who the Walk-Away Wives are on r/divorce, can't you? I'm entitled to never get married again. One day I'll have climbed out of this financial pit and have fully recovered and no woman will ever be ENTITLED to have a single say on how I live my life.	/r/Divorce_Men	25/09/23 07:25 PM
1	You can really tell who the Walk-Away Wives are on r/divorce, can't you? How does that work, the splitting of 401k's? Because with any luck hers depreciated with that big dump the stock market took all over peoples retirement funds last year..	/r/Divorce_Men	25/09/23 07:23 PM
3	You can really tell who the Walk-Away Wives are on r/divorce, can't you? That's almost exactly what I've said, verbatim. I will stand before God/church and make a vow but I will NOT be putting my name on anything that legally binds me to someone else.	/r/Divorce_Men	25/09/23 07:08 PM
1	Deep in the process and no one else to talk to. I've had a couple crying outbursts in front of my daughter but mostly early on. It's not fair to them but sometimes it just hits so raw and so hard that you lose the ability to swallow those tears any further. My daughter was 2 when this started and had no clue what was happening, at least I imagine. When I finally got her back part time months later, she acted like she barely knew me, cried, had a tough transition. But she came through and now at 4 she is constantly hugging me, telling me she l…	/r/Divorce_Men	22/09/23 06:35 PM
2	Deep in the process and no one else to talk to. They sucked it up and pushed onward, or they bit the literal bullet I imagine...	/r/Divorce_Men	22/09/23 06:31 PM
1	Deep in the process and no one else to talk to. Probably wise. Even maybe limit what you share with family. I made the mistake of oversharing with family and eventually burned them all out to where they no longer stay in contact with me. They're all pretty selfish though and stay busy, don't think they wanted to have to hear my problems to begin with. But my psycho ex was relentless and I was desperate to have someone, ANYONE to talk to. But I tend to get overly negative and stay there when things get super bad... and people don't want to be …	/r/Divorce_Men	22/09/23 06:29 PM
2	Deep in the process and no one else to talk to. I went through that no sleep period around march-april last year. At one point it got so bad that I had gone almost 96 hours with NO sleep. Wound up choking down anti-anxiety pills combined with THC gummies or weed, 2-3 beers, and a couple benadryl each night. That went on for a few weeks until I finally leveled out. Thankfully I don't really have a chemically addictive personality, it at least got me out of that slump.	/r/Divorce_Men	22/09/23 06:24 PM
2	Deep in the process and no one else to talk to. hate that i only have one upvote to give ;(	/r/Divorce_Men	22/09/23 06:21 PM
2	Did COVID ruined your marriage somehow? but maybe you have covid to think for accelerating a doomed relationship. Better rip it off than let it slowly peel away imo	/r/Divorce_Men	22/09/23 06:02 PM
5	Did COVID ruined your marriage somehow? twisted and evil...	/r/Divorce_Men	22/09/23 06:00 PM
1	Did COVID ruined your marriage somehow? if the shoe fits!	/r/Divorce_Men	22/09/23 06:00 PM
2	What is the benefit to marry? What did I do to myself? This man speaks the truth. It can happen and has happened to lots of guys here. 100% broken system that women have mastered. We honestly need to go back 150 years...	/r/Divorce_Men	21/09/23 07:16 PM
2	What is the benefit to marry? What did I do to myself? Agree 100%. Had I known I probably would've backed out. I had thoughts even then that I might be making a mistake but things were good at the time and I had NO idea what level of ruin a woman can bring down on your head. Would have been nice to have another man who'd been through it actually sit me down and explain the pros/cons.	/r/Divorce_Men	21/09/23 03:31 PM
1	What is the benefit to marry? What did I do to myself? 0/20...1ReplyShareSaveEditFollow level 2Bernie51WilliamsOp · 12 hr. ago · edited 12 hr. agoI have no debt except for the house and car. I spent 30k paying it all off in the last 2 years, also paid off hers. However my checking acct balance and 401k balance she is entitled to 50% of that and that's all I have. And that MY acct not a joint acct, it doesnt matter its 50% of everything I have....PERIOD. Shell fight to sell the house and I think that's the plan dude... just gotta suck it up until the…	/r/Divorce_Men	21/09/23 03:28 PM
1	What is the benefit to marry? What did I do to myself? something something about hindsight, 20/20...	/r/Divorce_Men	21/09/23 03:23 PM
9	What is the benefit to marry? What did I do to myself? Rules must be different. Down here in the good ol' US of A, the bitch and her attorney WILL subpoena every financial institution they even THINK you MAY have done business with. My ex did that, I received notice of DOZENS of subpoenas. I was like "haha dumb bitch, go ahead and waste all of your money", because I had nothing hidden and was completely on the level. By the end of it I had nothing to spend or hide anyways so it became a moot point. I think if you are planning WELL in advance, you co…	/r/Divorce_Men	21/09/23 03:08 PM
7	Why won't married women have sex? was in the dead bedrooms sub for the last year of my marriage. It's tragic. Told myself "never again". So far so good. If a woman ever decides to withhold sex from me again that will be the end of it. I mean, I understand that life events, depression, etc can cause you to lose your libido for periods of time. Hell it happens to me once in a while. But a solid YEAR? Yeah... no bueno bitches.	/r/Divorce_Men	21/09/23 12:53 PM
1	Why won't married women have sex? Sometimes I wonder if gays have the right of it. Not any gay friends to ask these days but I wonder if the relationship BS is minimized since it's two dudes. Or maybe one of the dudes just basically becomes a woman and it starts all over again. Not attracted to dudes but i dunno, but maybe they're onto something lol	/r/Divorce_Men	21/09/23 12:51 PM
7	Why won't married women have sex? All good and fine until she drags you into a court built around protecting womens interests and throws the imaginary book at you, takes half your shit, takes your kid, and leaves you broken. Because that's the play and all their friends are instructing them from the fucking playbook...	/r/Divorce_Men	21/09/23 12:48 PM
2	Why won't married women have sex? Ding Ding Ding! We have a winner!	/r/Divorce_Men	21/09/23 12:46 PM
7	Why won't married women have sex? You are correct sir.	/r/Divorce_Men	21/09/23 12:46 PM
18	Why won't married women have sex? Sounds like my wedding. She obsessed over the damn thing for months and months and months. Come wedding night, we were suitably (but not overly) drunk and should have been a fuckfest but she went home and immediately passed out. I don't remember too many details other than how I felt rejected and that was around the time issues started. Funny how I can look back and start to pinpoint where things went wrong. The other big issue that eventually became a dealbreaker was she had zero respect for my…	/r/Divorce_Men	21/09/23 12:44 PM
3	Why won't married women have sex? Good advice but not very intuitive for today's male. Blame it on whatever you want but most of us here have had or are having to learn this the VERY expensive and hard way.	/r/Divorce_Men	21/09/23 12:41 PM
10	Why won't married women have sex? Problem here is that (and someone else touched on this in another comment) for most of us men, sex isn't just about busting a nut and moving on. It's how we show our love, our affection, how we bond, how we relieve stress, how we validate ourselves as men. You take that away and we are now fundamentally broken and WILL eventually seek it elsewhere. Women need to wrap their thick skulls around that, much the same way us men have had to learn that women get their validation through compliments, qu…	/r/Divorce_Men	21/09/23 12:38 PM
11	Why won't married women have sex? That last one is HUGE!! When you feel like you no longer have any control in life, especially on how you can spend your time, life starts to just feel like a pointless slog. And then taking care of oneself starts to feel equally unimportant. Can relate, going through that now...	/r/Divorce_Men	21/09/23 12:36 PM
8	Why won't married women have sex? Can't blame the Chads though, they're just taking advantage of nature. Chad's don't buy the cow, they wait for the cows to come to him when they're bored of Mr. Beta Bux.	/r/Divorce_Men	21/09/23 12:34 PM
3	Why won't married women have sex? I think you nailed it - the Facebook/Instagram/Snapchat/Tiktok effect. Burn It All Down!	/r/Divorce_Men	21/09/23 12:33 PM
10	Why won't married women have sex? I feel this in my soul man. Problem is women attach sex to their CURRENT emotional state and that can be ALL OVER THE GOD DAMNED PLACE. I know I'm one to talk as a dude with depression and BPD but I do my best to manage it and I would never take it out on my partner. I honestly don't think women FEEL like they have any obligation other than what they feel in that moment. Now don't get me wrong, women can be incredibly loving and generous ... but they need to FEEL that spark or whatever you wanna…	/r/Divorce_Men	21/09/23 11:21 AM
2	The r/ask post about "why so many dads abandon their kids" is outright nonsense That's the plan. My GF keeps reminding me this is a war of attrition, not a battle that can be won quickly. I try to record every call with my daughter to show a pattern of alienation, record all texts/e-mails, etc. Just need to find a better way to organize it all. Thank you for the support. One of the really nasty things I can't understand is when she made her move to try and cut me out of their (hers and my daughters) lives, she also decided she was going to block and remove her access to all…	/r/Divorce_Men	20/09/23 05:53 PM
2	The r/ask post about "why so many dads abandon their kids" is outright nonsense When I won back visitation it was Fri-Sun every other week, graduated over a few months up to Wed-Sun every other week. Better than what she was offering (hour a week every 3 weeks in a gov't supervised visitation center). The kicker is that in the final custody hearing the judge wouldn't give me 50/50 (presumably over distance) so I got the same schedule I was already on contingent upon my daughter not being in school. Once she started school full time I was to get Fri-Sun every 2 out of 3 week…	/r/Divorce_Men	20/09/23 03:42 PM
1	The r/ask post about "why so many dads abandon their kids" is outright nonsense The 2k a month was court ordered. A little backstory - ex more or less kidnapped the kid away for about 4 months, wouldn't let me know where they were and wouldn't let me talk to my kid. Very difficult time. Finally got into court in December and won back a little visitation. Come Feb, her new attorney hauls me into court for child support and paints me as a deadbeat to the judge. Keep in mind up until that point I had never been asked for a dime from her. I had also been unemployed from mid aug…	/r/Divorce_Men	20/09/23 03:34 PM
2	The r/ask post about "why so many dads abandon their kids" is outright nonsense That's awesome!!! I love that! I struggle with the constant documenting, recording calls etc, very ADHD which made a lot of being a parent extra difficult but I know I'm a good dad because I adore my daughter and I'd do literally anything for her. Fuck I start tearing up thinking about it. Anyways, sounds like I need to really step it up. My ex did that crap too, wanted me to get like 1 hour every few weeks... judge laid into her IN court on multiple occasions. I really thought I'd get 50/50 but…	/r/Divorce_Men	20/09/23 02:31 PM
1	The r/ask post about "why so many dads abandon their kids" is outright nonsense Agree 100%.	/r/Divorce_Men	20/09/23 01:05 PM
2	The r/ask post about "why so many dads abandon their kids" is outright nonsense My ex was more like "I'll give you an hour every 3 weeks in a supervised visitation center, I'll keep the house, I'll keep the car I'm driving that you paid off, and oh yeah, I'm gonna need 2k a month in child support even though I make about the same as you". So you see why I had to literally go for broke just to keep my kid in my life in some capacity. It's bullshit man.	/r/Divorce_Men	20/09/23 01:02 PM
2	The r/ask post about "why so many dads abandon their kids" is outright nonsense God I hope for your sake this is an anon account your ex doesn't know about. My ex knew of my original Reddit account and was successful using pages of posts from it against me. She also was successful in nearly breaking up my current relationship when my GF was in court with me for support and the bitch ex dropped it all on me out of nowhere. Cyber stalking in divorce happens a lot...	/r/Divorce_Men	20/09/23 12:59 PM
2	The r/ask post about "why so many dads abandon their kids" is outright nonsense OMG that's one of my big fears. Did her mom turn her against you? I keep having people tell me "don't worry you're a good dad, one day when she's older your daughter will see what a PoS her mom is and she'll realize thale lies for what they are". But I'm afraid her mom is too skilled a lying narcissist and will actually turn her against me. How do I keep that from happening???	/r/Divorce_Men	20/09/23 12:56 PM
2	The r/ask post about "why so many dads abandon their kids" is outright nonsense Can you DM me if you get a chance? I'm curious what it takes to get to a 2nd or even 3rd judge to appeal custody decisions. My ex is smart and has done her a pretty good job of screwing me over and making herself look like a victim, but I can't really fathom only seeing my little girl 5min a day (sometimes zero mins) a side from the little visitation I get	/r/Divorce_Men	20/09/23 12:54 PM
1	Child support Unfortunately, unless you're squeaky clean, a good lawyer can do a real bang-up job smearing you in court. Oh and one other thing, a mistake I made out of necessity which really fucked me but I WILL fix it once I get financially stable: do not move too far from your kid/ex. My daughter was about to start school and the bitches' attorney made a good case that it wouldn't be fair to uproot her from where she was growing up and starting school and have to sit in a car so much. It felt like bullshit…	/r/Divorce_Men	20/09/23 12:28 PM
2	My ex-wife finally found a boyfriend on a dating app, and I can't stop laughing at the irony Sounds kind of like my ex in more than a few ways. Neither of us were super high earners but we did pretty well for our lifestyle. But the rest of it... the lack of empathy, zero introspection, "I'm always right" attitude - yep that's her. I know I have my own issues and God I am still uncovering them to this day, but at least I try. She just seems incapable of being a decent human being. I think I had another piece of healing this week when I finally renamed her in my phone from her name to "OU…	/r/Divorce_Men	20/09/23 12:24 PM
6	Fellas please send me your thoughts\prayers\good vibes.....I'm struggling after divorce Yes, same here! Just need a year or so to dig myself out of this debt mountain the bitch and the attorneys left me, and I can finally get one. Got my eyes on something like a honda gold wing I can ride all through the blue ridge mountains (live 30 mins away, blessed in that way alone) on a beautiful day. Or just a nice open air cruise to the office when the weather isn't sucking. The ex would've never let me hear the end of it if I had bought a bike. My GF will just think it's cool and want to r…	/r/Divorce_Men	20/09/23 12:12 PM
6	Fellas please send me your thoughts\prayers\good vibes.....I'm struggling after divorce LMAO well played. Glad to hear things are going good for you. Slowly getting there myself, just still struggling with being a part time dad when my daughter makes it so clear she misses me. That's the hardest part, the rest is honestly gravy in comparison. Almost 6 mo. from divorce, just passed 2 yrs since separation. For a while I didn't really want to live anymore, was just going through the motions. Now I might be dog tired sometimes but I can't wait to see what the future holds. These toxic …	/r/Divorce_Men	20/09/23 12:08 PM
1	How did you survive your first 2 months after a separation? First two months? I almost didn't survive. But by the grace of God got through it. I have no advice, it was brutal. I was never truly suicidal but that was probably the closest I ever came. Praying for you, it was the worst time of my life.	/r/Divorce_Men	19/09/23 07:59 PM
2	My fucked up rant Not sure I agree with the ethics of this but I have to say it's really clever 🤣	/r/Divorce_Men	12/09/23 10:38 PM