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Daddy_data_nerd Archive

View 0 posts and 188 comments by Daddy_data_nerd on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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2

The important thing is remembering WHY you are doing something hard, and focus on that. My goal is to be genuinely happy again. My goal is to live in peace, not chaos. My goal is to not have dishes thrown at me when she's in a manic state again... Little things like that.
/r/Divorce_Men08/01/26 01:13 PM
5

I remember who I'm doing this for: my kids. I want them to grow up in a safe and stable household. If for only half the year. It's better than living in chaos full time. Also, I made a promise to myself that I would outlive her and not give her the satisfaction of being able to piss on my grave. So, love for my kids and spite towards her.
/r/Divorce_Men08/01/26 01:08 PM
4

Well damn. I found one that only farts rainbows. But no glitter. Oh well...
/r/Divorce_Men17/12/25 11:07 PM
7

Talk with an attorney.
/r/Divorce_Men22/08/25 07:10 AM
2

How about now?
/r/MensRights25/03/25 03:21 PM
2

If - Rudyard Kipling A very good reading for those interested. Edit repost with working link.
/r/MensRights25/03/25 03:04 PM
3

They misspelled rape. Again.
/r/MensRights01/03/25 12:30 PM
4

After I got away from her, I began to find myself. After doing that, I began to think for myself. What do I want? What do I need? Then I began to dream for myself. I began to make plans for myself. Now I live for myself and my kids. Life isn't perfect, but it's getting just a little bit better everyday.
/r/Divorce_Men25/11/24 12:21 AM
9

A lot of things I do in my life are out of spite to my ex-wife: I will outlive her. By a day if it comes down to it. I will accomplish more than her. I will get my master's degree. I will go further in my career. Etc. I will travel more than her if I am able to. I want to see Europe and parts of Asia. I will be the more reliable, stable, and loving parent for my boys. I will get out of debt and stay out of debt. Basically, I take all the negative feelings I have towards her and use that energy f…
/r/Divorce_Men24/11/24 10:33 PM
10

I choose to live to be there for my kids and provide them a safe, stable, and loving home. Something she can't give them. I choose to live to spite my ex-wife. She will not get the pleasure of pissing on my grave. I will outlive her. If she lives to be 100, I'll live to 100 and 1 day. I choose to live because I want to see my kids grow and have families of their own. I choose to live because there are too many things I have up for her that I want to do now. I want to travel, learn the guitar, ge…
/r/Divorce_Men17/11/24 09:11 PM
3

Nine female educators are accused of raping at least five minor residents. That's more accurate.
/r/MensRights27/10/24 04:31 AM
10

I see you are a person of culture. Well met.
/r/MensRights24/10/24 01:51 AM
69

You can't post anything on the Internet that isn't true. - Abraham Lincoln, 1863.
/r/MensRights24/10/24 01:19 AM
35

My ex is super manipulative because of her personality disorder. Here's my advice to you: you're 15 and not married to her, break up with her and move on. It will only get worse the longer you're with someone like that. Trust me. It'll suck at first, but as time goes by you'll be better off.
/r/MensRights18/09/24 01:37 AM
2

Hopefully not on the good sheets at least...
/r/Divorce_Men02/07/24 12:33 AM
5

Woman admits to raping a 13 year old boy...
/r/MensRights25/05/24 11:35 AM
16

raping*
/r/MensRights22/03/24 01:26 AM
10

Mine is still convinced I own multiple properties around the city I live in. Spoiler: I don't own any property anywhere. There is someone with the same name as me who owns property in my city, but there is about a 20 difference between us. Get bent ex-wife.
/r/Divorce_Men21/03/24 11:29 AM
4

I would never split a place with my ex. No way in hell. Fight for 50/50.
/r/Divorce_Men03/03/24 11:22 PM
6

Even without that trade-up, if I were OP I wouldn't tap that. Their crazy might get stuck to you... Don't stick your dick in crazy. Ever.
/r/Divorce_Men03/03/24 08:55 PM
1

I'm a hacker because I can write Python scripts to analyze data... I've sabotaged her gasoline powered car because I used to work on diesel generators... I've picked the lock to her townhouse to break in while she's sleeping to open doors, move things, or steal because I am ex-military... Oh, and I've been spying on her because I used to work as a govt contractor...
/r/Divorce_Men17/02/24 07:33 PM
2

Dinkleberg...
/r/Divorce_Men17/02/24 07:30 PM
19

The rapist, Any Schumer the rapist, is a self admitted rapist.
/r/MensRights16/02/24 10:35 PM
83

Who, Amy Schumer the famous rapist?
/r/MensRights16/02/24 05:03 PM
7

My ex used to threaten it and even hired a lawyer as a bluff. I didn't threaten. I didn't bluff. I just filed. I warn and then I do.
/r/Divorce_Men29/01/24 08:35 PM
20

Depending on local laws, posting those videos could get you in legal trouble. Definitely go for the uncontested divorce, but don't break the law to do it.
/r/MensRights24/01/24 08:12 PM
1

I set boundaries they can understand at my house. They are learning that their actions have consequences. Don't wanna do your chores? No electronics time for you. They are in therapy, but I don't care for their therapist.
/r/Divorce_Men16/12/23 07:53 PM
1

I get it. I'm 40 and near the top of my career as well. Starting over was the scariest and most difficult thing I've ever done. But, in the end, my boys are happy and healthier at my place than hers. It's going to take me a while to get back to where I want to be financially, but I'll get there.
/r/Divorce_Men16/12/23 07:29 PM
0

For me, it would be. Things can be replaced. More money can be earned. My ex-wife is a walking undiagnosed personality disorder. I set my boundaries and enforce them. I am totally prepared to fight to win to protect my kids and our future. I can't make this decision for you, just offer my perspective.
/r/Divorce_Men16/12/23 07:18 PM
7

That's not a drinking game, it's a death sentence.
/r/MensRights16/12/23 06:42 PM
1

Take what you have to the court. It doesn't matter what she says or projects to the public if you have proof. Your ex-wife is trying to control you by isolating you. "If I can't have you, no one will.". This is one of those things worth fighting for. This isn't just about stopping the harassment, it's about taking control of your future. Take it back from her. Talk to your attorney or go get one if you don't have one. But you need to start fighting and get ready to fight dirty. Fuck fighting fai…
/r/Divorce_Men16/12/23 06:27 PM
2

She was never officially diagnosed, but my therapist told me in our last session that most likely she has a personality disorder. And I've had multiple people that had varying levels of medical training tell me she has it. I, personally, believe she does. It just fits too well.
/r/MensRights15/12/23 05:48 PM
2

Cheers!
/r/Divorce_Men15/12/23 11:50 AM
4

Repeat after me: these are my children. There are many like them, but these ones are mine. I have two hills that I will absolutely die upon. One: I will have no less than 50% of my boys time. Two: I will not let her dance upon my grave. I will outlive her by one day if it comes down to it. Find your purpose in life. Take care of yourself and your kid.
/r/Divorce_Men15/12/23 02:12 AM
14

That is really what happened by that point. I still have moments of flashback/mini panic attacks and it's been almost three years. My therapist had to convince me I was abused, it took a while... She also praised me for getting out. Edit: Because the years doesn't make sense, but three years does...
/r/MensRights13/12/23 06:25 PM
86

I was in an abusive relationship with my ex-wife and totally lost all hope. I felt nothing. Not happiness with my kids. Not anger towards her. Nothing. It was no wonder I had a gun in my hand ready to go one night. Amazingly enough, when I got out of that relationship my suicidal thoughts and feelings went away. Strange...
/r/MensRights13/12/23 06:13 PM
10

Welp, I'm gonna start building my boat...
/r/MensRights18/11/23 06:43 PM
1

This right here.
/r/Divorce_Men07/11/23 07:14 PM
19

Do what is best for you. Be celibate or be a man-ho, it's your choice. Just wrap it before you tap it.
/r/MensRights05/11/23 06:59 PM
22

Play stupid games..
/r/Divorce_Men01/11/23 05:58 PM
37

So, she wants to preserve her relationship with the kids at the expense of yours.? She expects you to light yourself on fire to keep her warm. Nah. My relationship with my kids is the most important thing to me. I have no fucks to give about my ex-wife and her status. I really don't. My daughter doesn't speak with my ex any more and my boys are on the same track. Look at it like this: you two are no longer a team. It's you against her and she's doing everything she can to preserve herself. AT YO…
/r/Divorce_Men11/10/23 12:32 PM
7

I know that feeling all too well. "She hit you? Well that's just because she's temperamental and you did something to set her off. She couldn't help herself. You, on the other hand, need to examine what you did and possibly face repercussions."
/r/MensRights08/10/23 02:51 PM
2

If I were into woodworking as a hobby, I wouldn't need someone else to work with me to enjoy the hobby. I would enjoy their company and ask for pointers or advice on how to do it. I might join a local club or guild to learn more, but again, I wouldn't need them to make it pleasant. What I would find pleasure in would be the smell of the cut wood, watching a pile of raw material turn into something, or the satisfaction of creating. A hobby is done for personal enjoyment. Not money, praise, or som…
/r/MensRights03/10/23 11:07 PM
3

Here's my perspective: I work as a data analyst. I've only been at it for a couple years, but I actually spend a majority of my time figuring out and solving problems. When I find myself struggling to come up with an answer off the top of my head, I go out and find the answers. Nobody has ever just walked up to my desk and given me the answer. I've had to go find it. If I can't find it easily, I talk it out with someone and usually the answer comes to me. My goal in life is to master whatever I …
/r/MensRights03/10/23 10:57 PM
2

Don't do a hobby to meet people or grow closer to anybody. Rather, do a hobby because you enjoy it. If you meet some friendly faces that enjoy the hobby like you do, all the better.
/r/MensRights03/10/23 10:51 PM
2

In addition to consistency from you, I would also recommend therapy for your kids. They're both going through a rough time right now. Their whole world just blew up and they're acting out because they don't feel any semblance of stability or control right now.
/r/Divorce_Men03/10/23 02:39 AM
2

It's not just about inconveniencing you. Yeah that is a part of it. It's also about stopping any expectations she might have about you providing anything for her. It's about not giving the kids false hope she's moving back in and being part of their life in a meaningful way. I've been separated, hopefully soon to be final, for about two years now. Occasionally my youngest will ask if I'm ever moving back in with their mom. And I have to be honest and let him know that it's not going to happen. I…
/r/Divorce_Men28/09/23 05:01 AM
1

If she moves, set a boundary that she doesn't stay at your place during the visit. She can get a hotel room or go back to whatever rock she crawled out from under.
/r/Divorce_Men28/09/23 12:12 AM
2

But the acoustics of this open room are amazing. And truth be told, no one really shows up for karaoke. Not like wing night...
/r/MensRights24/09/23 06:25 PM
10

Hey welcome! The open bar is over there, please tip the bartender. Karaoke is on Thursday night. The 10 cent wing night is Friday night. And the support groups meet here daily.
/r/MensRights24/09/23 02:46 PM
14

I want a minimum of 50% custody of my boys. Nothing less. That is the hill I will die upon. I am not normally a stubborn man, but this I will die for.
/r/MensRights21/09/23 03:02 PM
2

Take care of you, cause no one else will. The world will take care of itself. Surprisingly enough, for the last several hundred thousand years the world has managed to get by without your help. But you cannot get by without you.
/r/MensRights30/08/23 09:39 PM
3

At this point the most important person in your life is you. Now you can be selfish and take care of you and the rest of the world can get effed. If someone in your life isn't supporting you in this new venture, I would seriously reconsider that relationship.
/r/MensRights30/08/23 09:25 PM
14

As far as meds goes, my advice is to never quit cold turkey. That shit sucks. Seriously, read up on brain zaps. The good news is that you are now in the great place of having nowhere to go, but up. Now is the time to accomplish everything you want to. Now is the time to get in your feet in all aspects of your life: physically, mentally, financially, socially, and career. Focus on the first two for a while. Then the others will start to follow. And don't ever take her back, no matter what she loo…
/r/MensRights30/08/23 08:26 PM
1

First off: lawyer. It's to her advantage that you do not get one. Remember that she is your adversary now, not the woman you married. I would use every tool in your arsenal to get what you want. Second: kids. In this case I would prioritize getting as much custody of the kids to protect them from her. I know I wouldn't want them growing up in a party environment like that. Kids need stability and boundaries. Do you think they'll get that from her? Finally: her. Fuck her and what she wants. There…
/r/Divorce_Men15/08/23 12:07 PM
1

Hey, no worries. Consider yourself lucky. It's an expensive "hobby". Mostly, I indulge in this as an excuse to slow down and enjoy an hour of sitting still.
/r/MensRights29/07/23 10:03 PM
2

It's not for everyone.
/r/MensRights29/07/23 09:45 PM
6

I'll have a bourbon and a fine cigar, please.
/r/MensRights29/07/23 07:34 PM
2

I agree. But parole isn't a guarantee. Based on her statement she isn't remotely even close to showing remorse for raping those boys. Because she entered that statement in court, it could be used against her at her parole hearing. I think.
/r/MensRights24/07/23 11:57 AM
2

Parole is early release from prison. It's a reward for behaving yourself and undergoing treatment while in prison. It can vary state to state what those conditions are, but generally it involves accepting responsibility for your crime, showing remorse for said crime, and not getting in trouble while in prison.
/r/MensRights24/07/23 11:51 AM
3

In the US that could mean that she's going to prison and would not be eligible for parole until two years into her sentence. But she would not be in for longer than 30 years.
/r/MensRights24/07/23 11:41 AM
3

LAWYER.
/r/Divorce_Men13/07/23 09:36 PM
21

Well, for her or you to file in Ohio, you have to establish residency there for 6 months first. So, go to a lawyer in Florida and beat her to the punch. It's now your call, not hers. She can be pissed all she wants, but as others have said, she's no longer your wife. She's an adversary. You don't have to be fair or nice in all this, just follow the law.
/r/Divorce_Men12/07/23 06:29 PM
3

Understood. Keep in mind, you're mourning. Take your time and feel what you feel. It's not a straightforward process.
/r/Divorce_Men10/07/23 04:33 PM
4

That's because you are a different person than before you went through this. If you step into a river once and then step into it a second time, you are not standing in the same river. It's not the same water that was there before, the sand on the river bed has changed, and you are wet from having stepped in it recently. The point is: no, you can't go back to the old river. It is gone. You need to step into a new river.
/r/Divorce_Men10/07/23 12:11 PM
1

Yeah, definitely ask for her income to be imputed. This may cost more up front, but will save you in the long run.
/r/Divorce_Men07/07/23 08:28 PM
3

Like hell I'm shaving my beard.
/r/MensRights06/07/23 05:54 PM
35

Hey brother. I don't know you and you don't know me. But you are my brother. I was married to a woman who, in all likelihood, had borderline personality disorder. She made my life hell. She even got an inch from my face and told me, "We don't need you, you should go kill yourself." Imagine her surprise when one night I almost did. But, I got some help and started to take care of me. I wish I could say that life got better for me immediately. It didn't. I ended up getting kicked out of my home be…
/r/Divorce_Men06/07/23 12:08 AM
6

I am an abuse victim, my abuser was my ex-wife.
/r/MensRights30/06/23 04:24 PM
71

The hearing for that is yet to be held.
/r/MensRights29/06/23 04:42 PM
6

A league of their own, you might say...
/r/MensRights22/06/23 04:18 PM
27

I'm sorry for your loss. Part of me would take the opportunity to speak during the eulogy and encourage people to get the help they need and not give in to the old bad habits that could kill them, even if it made them boring. Without our health, we become nothing.
/r/MensRights19/06/23 03:09 PM
175

That's not bullying. It's called abuse. I endured something similar with my ex-wife. It can definitely destroy you. I almost ended it. But I'm going to outlive her just to spite her. She will never be able to dance in my grave. If she lives to be 100, I'll live till 100 and 1 day.
/r/MensRights15/06/23 03:27 PM
7

Talk to a lawyer. ETA: It seems suspicious to me that she doesn't want to reveal finances to you.
/r/Divorce_Men04/06/23 04:24 AM
2

Keep it all about the kids. Nothing more. Nothing less. She wants to complain about the divorce? Nope, keep it on the kids. Complain about work or get new relationship? Nope, keep it on the kids. I guess cordial is the best way to describe it, but don't be afraid to just walk away or hang up the phone.
/r/Divorce_Men30/05/23 03:01 PM
12

It depends. A lawyer may give a free consultation to talk about your case, but there are going to be costs, especially if the ex decides to fight.
/r/MensRights21/05/23 10:37 PM
18

Talk with a family lawyer. See what your options are for your area.
/r/MensRights21/05/23 10:35 PM
5

Jesus, put them in a trailer park and it's right out of a Jerry Springer show. RIP.
/r/Divorce_Men19/05/23 01:05 AM
2

Got a lawyer? This might be a question for them.
/r/Divorce_Men05/05/23 11:25 PM
3

Don't sleep with her ever again. Ever. Think with the head upstairs. The moment she said divorce, you should cut them off. For your own legal protection, don't sleep with her ever again.
/r/Divorce_Men02/05/23 05:26 PM
1

It works when there's an agreement, a written legal one, in place. My temporary one is the result of mediation. The final agreement might come from a final round of mediation or from a judge. That's up to her.
/r/Divorce_Men27/04/23 07:59 PM
1

If I really did that, she might actually try to hurt me, take me to court, or both.
/r/Divorce_Men27/04/23 04:05 PM
1

I mean I could... It would be hilarious to hand her a bag of pennies...
/r/Divorce_Men27/04/23 03:59 PM
18

Ask yourself 2 questions: Do I want to live my life trading DVs with someone? Do I want my daughter growing up learning that DV in a relationship is normal? I found myself in an increasingly toxic and abusive environment during my marriage. Yes it sucks going through divorce with my boys, 6 and 9, but they know that my ex and I are not getting back together. I've been able to build them a safe and stable home. When they're with me they know that I love them and they are safe. Just food for thoug…
/r/Divorce_Men27/04/23 03:51 PM
2

We're under a temporary order and it only says $(way too much money) per month. It doesn't say by the first or 15th. Just per month. Not does it say how she gets the money. Just that if she doesn't get her money by the end of the month, she'll take me to court. As far as deduction goes, that may vary so look up your local laws.
/r/Divorce_Men27/04/23 03:44 PM
8

Here's how I'm handling it with my ex-wife. MY paycheck goes into my checking account. She doesn't have any access to it. None at all. We have a joint checking account that I transfer the monthly payment to. After the money is in there, she's free to transfer it or do with as she pleases. She gets exactly what the court says she is to get and not a penny more. What's more, she gets it when it's convenient for me. As in, when I get paid. She wants it all on the first? Tough shit, I have my bills …
/r/Divorce_Men27/04/23 03:02 PM
1

In the end it comes down to one question: "Do I want to live like this for the rest of my life?" You can try and put your foot down, but it won't change her. It might force her to try and change who she is, but she won't genuinely change. That can only come from her true desire to change. I wish you the best of luck.
/r/Divorce_Men20/04/23 11:26 AM
1

I had to turn off followers. Apparently, my feet pictures turn people off...
/r/MensRights11/04/23 06:13 PM
14

If you go into this situation expecting divorce, you're probably going to get divorced. From what you've said, it doesn't look like divorce is in the cards. But child support and spousal support are based on several factors, difference in income or potential income is one of them. And it varies state to state. Like others have said, enjoy your marriage, love your kids and wife, and if problems pop up between you two: work it out. Divorce is the last step in the death of a marriage.
/r/Divorce_Men09/04/23 05:32 PM
0

Then the answer is a definite "No". You can be co parents, but have very firm boundaries in place. Stick to your boundaries, do the exchanges in public places, and communicate through a parenting app.
/r/Divorce_Men07/04/23 12:14 AM
3

Really, only you can make that call. But if you don't feel he's taken accountability for his actions and sought to make the change, then he probably hasn't. Ask yourself this question, "do I want to live with this person, if they haven't changed?"
/r/Divorce_Men07/04/23 12:03 AM
6

He didn't take accountability? Easy solution: "No." It's a full and complete sentence. You don't have to get back with anyone, that goes for all of us. If you don't want to be in a relationship with someone, the answer is "no". What, I'm trying to say (no) is that if you want to leave them, leave them. Don't stay with them for their sake or the same if the kid. My ex-wife tried this tactic, and I said NO.
/r/Divorce_Men06/04/23 11:55 PM
8

Here here! Well spoken, Bruce!
/r/MensRights06/04/23 03:04 PM
6

Can you find out if your schools parking lot has cameras covering your car? That might save you some grief in the future.
/r/MensRights05/04/23 03:19 PM
5

You can only improve yourself. You can't improve someone, especially if they don't want to be improved or to improve themselves. I'm not improving myself to attract a new wife or girlfriend. I'm also not trying to improve myself to impress, inspire, outdo anyone. I want to be better for me and no one else. I want to be better for more economic, personal, and moral opportunities. Is this selfish? Yes. But but if you spend your time improving yourself for someone else, say a girlfriend or wife, ar…
/r/MensRights04/04/23 04:48 PM
7

Well, after we, my attorney and I, stopped laughing we said no. We go to court tomorrow to tell the judge they've been ignoring us for almost a year. I believe they just did that so the "temporary" support agreement we had in place wouldn't be changed. I don't have any proof, but tomorrow will be interesting.
/r/Divorce_Men31/03/23 01:23 AM
6

Todrick Hall - YAS Big Sean - I don't fuck with you And pretty much whatever I want now.
/r/Divorce_Men31/03/23 01:09 AM
11

Mine tried to demand 2600 a month just in spousal support. On top of that she wanted me to pay her car note, car insurance, phone bill, AND full child support. I make $5400 a month. What am I supposed to live on? Oh, that's right, I'm not supposed to live.
/r/Divorce_Men30/03/23 09:30 PM
8

"My ex husband is a narcissist, my therapist, Tarot cards, best friend, and this TikTok video I watched said so. FTFY.
/r/Divorce_Men30/03/23 09:04 PM
5

That's what I'm giving serious consideration to.
/r/MensRights29/03/23 03:56 AM
2

Remember, it's your call. Not hers.
/r/Divorce_Men27/03/23 07:23 PM
2

In my case, it's a two week period. During that two week time, the days are split but add up to 7 days each.
/r/Divorce_Men27/03/23 06:02 PM
3

Oh... She's had work experience... Get you attorney to IMPUTE her income based on part work experience, education, certifications, etc. Imputing her income means that alimony and child support will be based on her ability to make money, not what she currently makes. My ex had a degree in IT, but it's costing to work at a convenience store. Probably on the bad advice from a friend. As for the other question, consult an attorney for your area. I'm giving out free advice, not legal guidance, so you…
/r/Divorce_Men27/03/23 04:47 PM
1

Agreed. Get the ball rolling with the attorney. If you need a CDFA your attorney will be able to recommend it.
/r/Divorce_Men27/03/23 04:18 PM
4

Go for 50/50 minimum. If she can't afford to live off her income, then go for full custody. There is no reason you should have to give up everything because she can't afford anything. Remember, CS isn't set by the spouse, it's set by the state based on differences in income. So she can cry all she wants, but CS isn't meant to be a sole source of income, it's to supplement income to provide for the kids. My ex is about to learn this lesson the hard way.
/r/Divorce_Men27/03/23 04:16 PM
4

The good news is that you aren't married to her, so... Bye, Felicia! Now, give yourself some time to mourn that job and relationship. When that time period is up, pick yourself up and forge on. There will be other jobs and other relationships. Life can only move forward. You can do it.
/r/MensRights27/03/23 10:49 AM
15

Brother, you need to get more than 50/50. This is abusive to the kids. She needs supervised visitation only. And medication. Lots of medication.
/r/Divorce_Men26/03/23 01:02 PM
8

Here's to you, all you glorious bastards! Raises a glass of bourbon
/r/Divorce_Men23/03/23 12:37 AM
3

Think of it this way. When you file, you are in a battle. You can be civil, but still not take any prisoners. You may not want it, but when it hits the fan, it's going to get everyone dirty. You are fighting for your future and the future of your children. Fight for every minute with them. Fight for every resource you have to support and care for them.
/r/Divorce_Men22/03/23 04:50 AM
7

You're welcome. From my own personal experience, when I was forced to flee, I ended up staying in a crappy hotel on my own dime. It wasn't until I got in touch with my family, the one she tried to isolate me from, that I got any assistance. I'm very lucky in that aspect.
/r/MensRights22/03/23 04:43 AM
15

I think if you want to see how men are really treated look around your nearest city. Look at DV shelters. Count how many are women only. Now count how many accept men. Not just men only, but the ones that actually accept men at all. When a person flees an abusive relationship, where do they go for help? Where are men expected to go?
/r/MensRights22/03/23 04:30 AM
1

Straight to the dog house with ye! Just kidding. Look, you need to speak up and communicate with him that you have been doing things against your will. A marriage is supposed to be a partnership between two consenting adults. This is not that. Yes, he has provided you with things. But he has also blown past boundaries without consideration to you. I would start with counseling. Don't use divorce word as leverage. It's a verb. It's the last thing YOU do. Don't threaten him with divorce, if he doe…
/r/Divorce_Men21/03/23 12:02 PM
6

Your decision is yours to make. Don't take her feelings into account. Fuck her. Actually, don't. She might pull something. Can you have your neighbor write a statement about what happened and then get an attorney on this? You might be able to get full custody if she's abandoning your kid like that.
/r/Divorce_Men21/03/23 12:48 AM
1

"My absolute fondest moment was when I woke up with my baby asleep on me, when we went for a nap." Aside from the fact that my boys inherited my ginormous melon, I loved when they fell asleep on my chest or my arm. Except when my arm fell asleep because of the weight of their head. That part wasn't so fun...
/r/MensRights21/03/23 12:37 AM
3

The only response to that is "WHAT DO YOU MEAN 'YOU PEOPLE'?!?" https://youtu.be/xPxs0Qh72kY?t=32
/r/MensRights21/03/23 12:34 AM
21

Take a book from the CIA: "When captured: Admit nothing. Deny everything. Make counter accusations." In other words: do NOT sign ANYTHING, admit to anything, stick only to simple facts. If you don't know, say you don't know. Don't embellish. Don't suppose. Don't consent to anything. Before starting off the interview, pull out your phone and ask if they don't mind recording it. Start off by saying the date, who's in the room, and the purpose of the recording. If at anytime you get the feeling tha…
/r/MensRights21/03/23 12:14 AM
2

I've known of people who did that, they went through the whole interview process but didn't hire then. Basically, they do it to deny their side access to those lawyers.
/r/Divorce_Men17/03/23 05:43 PM
2

A little bit of both. Sometimes I needed to hear the truth about what I thought was a big deal. Spoiler alert: it wasn't. But when I have someone advocating on my behalf, I want them to be focused on what I need out off it. Not what she needs out off it.
/r/Divorce_Men17/03/23 05:37 PM
3

Talk with them face to face. Try to get a feeling for them. I wanted my lawyer to be an a hole and that's what I got. I wanted someone to tell me the truth and be ruthless when it was required. My mediator was court appointed, so no real input there.
/r/Divorce_Men17/03/23 05:27 PM
10

Continue to fight for your kids tooth and nail. Obviously, she doesn't seem to be able to find stability. Show the judge how you are more stable than her. Keep up the good fight.
/r/Divorce_Men17/03/23 02:28 PM
2

It never is. But now it's upon you. When I served my ex-wife I was scared for my life. I had no idea what would happen. I spent two days shaking in my boots. But, it turned out better than I thought because she reacted with, "I knew it." I choose to be strong for my son's because they need it. Good luck and we're here if you need us.
/r/Divorce_Men16/03/23 06:10 PM
15

Are you talking about Jennifer Gries, the woman who lied about being raped and sexually harassed at Stanford University?
/r/MensRights16/03/23 12:48 PM
3

Ok, lot to unpack here. You've got a VA loan, so that tells me you were military. Well brother, from one prior service to another. It's time to put on your battle rattle and go to war. Your can't save or help her now.l, she's now the enemy. Like everyone here has said, stop paying HER child support. That's her bill and if she can't pay it, that's HER problem. You tried to be a white knight, now it's time to be the dark knight. Start setting and enforcing your boundaries. Don't react to her provo…
/r/Divorce_Men16/03/23 12:36 PM
5

Unfortunately, you need to be the bigger adult. Mediation could be a way to hash out some issues and get them into a legally binding document. Or at the very least, if you try and make a show of being reasonable you can take that to a judge and it'll look better on you.
/r/Divorce_Men12/03/23 07:40 PM
27

This. This right here. Do not talk to her. Talk only with your lawyer.
/r/MensRights12/03/23 01:19 AM
7

I'm sorry to say, brother, it's not going to happen. The best thing for you and your baby girl, is to get that person out of your lives. I want you to think about this, has your wife sincerely apologized for what she did? Has she accepted responsibility for cheating, or is she putting all of the blame on you? You can try and stay in this relationship, but it's going to be a never ending cycle of her abusing you. And believe me, this is abuse. Do you want your daughter to see this abuse as normal…
/r/Divorce_Men11/03/23 06:25 PM
17

First off brother, welcome home. I don't mean that in a snarky way. I'm a vet as well, so from the bottom of my heart, welcome home. Now, to the task at hand: your relationship is done. Just remember, that in a relationship, it takes TWO to tango. That means, yes you have your faults. You could have done better. But so could she. SHE chose to cheat. You didn't force her to. Nothing you did made her do anything. It was an active choice she made. Just as your are, she is an adult. She made a decis…
/r/Divorce_Men11/03/23 06:06 PM
1

Use a parenting app. They're stored separately and are admissable in court.
/r/Divorce_Men11/03/23 02:00 PM
4

I can't believe... No. Actually, I can.
/r/MensRights09/03/23 12:30 AM
9

Unfortunately, you are more correct than I wish I had to admit.
/r/MensRights08/03/23 11:33 PM
20

I'm not sure how old the daughter was, but if she was a minor at the time, isn't there some kind of law that is defined to protect minors from intentional exposure to this?
/r/MensRights08/03/23 10:02 PM
14

... This hit hard. Real hard. Thankfully, I'm free of that almost exact situation.
/r/MensRights07/03/23 05:17 PM
11

Probably worse than anything, if the judge doesn't deem it to be so gross that it requires further investigation and possible prosecution, your ex-wife's credibility will be fundamentally destroyed in the eyes of the court. And that could be even more helpful than having her prosecuted. At least in regards to the divorce.
/r/Divorce_Men04/03/23 05:24 PM
12

I'm just a very flawed and fucked up man. I've made it my life's mission to do them following: Raise my sons to be good honorable men Defeat my ex-wife where I can Be a good and honorable man. Help those I can. Improve myself where I can. Live my life and not be passive in it. I'm not perfect and never will be. When I fall, I'll get up. When I see another man fall, I'll give them a hand as best I can.
/r/MensRights04/03/23 02:29 PM
20

I'll freely about it. I tried it. Had the weapon in my hand ready to go through with my plan. But I heard my son ask what was happening and I went and got help. I eventually, not quick enough, left my abusive relationship and now life is amazing. Keep your heads up and don't be afraid to ask for help when you need it
/r/MensRights04/03/23 02:21 PM
3

"I'm still grappling if I should confront about what I know about her infidelity." Why? What would it change in the long run? I would suggest that to get the greatest revenge against her, would be to be successful and love your children. She made her bed, now she can lie in it. As for you... Congrats man! You made it out alive and relatively intact. Take care of yourself, get some counseling if you need it.
/r/Divorce_Men03/03/23 06:59 PM
13

The question you have to ask yourself before you make any plans is simply this: Can YOU live like this for the rest of your life? And follow it with: Do you want your kid(s) to grow up seeing a relationship like this? Cause they will see this relationship as a "normal" relationship and mimic it when they get older.
/r/Divorce_Men03/03/23 06:53 PM
1

Our kids are worth every second and dollar we give up for them. I have 50/50 with me ex-wife. I will not let her from that to keep for any reason. She already tried to take them from me with a false restraining order. My boys love coming to my place and they tell me often they want to stay with me. But, there isn't a legal reason for me to get 100% right now. Keep your head up, and don't give up the fight.
/r/Divorce_Men03/03/23 12:21 AM
2

Don't. If you have kids with her though, you can buy them a present for them to give to her.
/r/Divorce_Men01/03/23 07:55 PM
1

Well, as anyone who's ever been deployed in the military can tell you, yes we do draw them on just about any flat surface. Why? I dunno.
/r/MensRights01/03/23 02:25 AM
9

No one in this world knows that you need help, except you. You need to be your own and best advocate. If the Dr isn't giving you the treatment you think is right, go to another Dr.
/r/MensRights27/02/23 06:32 PM
2

Agreed. All we can really do is be loving, stable ports in the storm for our kids, grown or still growing.
/r/Divorce_Men26/02/23 11:38 PM
1

I would definitely get a lawyer involved. But based on this, it might be an uphill battle. Not impossible, just difficult. She has no say in if you want to go the court route. If that's the route you want to go, she can only react. This is a case where your man needs to hike up his britches and stand up for himself and his boys. Even if it's a losing battle. I have and will continue to fight tooth and nail for my boys. I found my voice against an abusive ex and I won't give that up for anything.
/r/Divorce_Men26/02/23 10:53 PM
1

Ok, the second point still stands. My ex had tried, and to some extent is still trying, to turn my step-daughter against me. I responded by not trash talking my ex and showing my daughter that I love her and she always has a safe harbor with me. My daughter is in her 20s but still lives with my ex. As far as the phone goes... Use a parenting messaging app to remind her that your time with the boys is your time and to please not interrupt unless it's an emergency. Those parenting apps are good fo…
/r/Divorce_Men26/02/23 10:35 PM
2

Start with boundaries. If you get a call from her, ask her if it's an emergency. If it's not, politely say the kids will call her back before bedtime and then hang up. Don't let her argue or push back. Be firm not a pushover. As for the other stuff, make sure the boys know how much you love them no matter what their mom does or says. You can try finding a way to tell the boys that their time with Dad is just as special to him as it is to them. Basically, kill her with kindness. Actions speak lou…
/r/Divorce_Men26/02/23 10:19 PM
2

When my boys are with her, I call them at the same time every night.
/r/Divorce_Men26/02/23 02:22 AM
3

Sometimes you have to let things happen in order to get the better outcome. Is she doesn't comply with your request to put the money back, she can get destroyed by the judge. It may not be apparent now, but playing the long game in a divorce is a smart option.
/r/Divorce_Men22/02/23 07:17 PM
1

Hats off to the mods, not always the heroes we wanted, but the heroes we needed.
/r/Divorce_Men20/02/23 05:55 PM
1

Where's the bar? I'll have a drink or two.
/r/MensRights20/02/23 03:48 AM
5

Ok, just make sure he only listens to his lawyer on anything related to her. Lots of people will tell him to just step up and "do his part". Eff that. Only do the minimum required to legally get by if it is indeed his kid.
/r/MensRights14/02/23 08:21 PM
18

Stop signing anything. Talk to a lawyer. Don't listen to anyone but your lawyer.
/r/MensRights14/02/23 06:02 PM
5

No worries. I understand how difficult it is. In my case, I filed for divorce. But she had all but divorced me in the court (threw away her rings, slept in separate rooms, screamed "I divorce you" three times in my face, etc). But she was still upset "I wasn't fighting for us" anymore. Go figure. I had to change my mindset from helping her, to helping myself. She's had time to get herself right and prepared to be on her own, instead she's spent it mooching off of me. She's in for a big shock soo…
/r/Divorce_Men13/02/23 04:49 PM
3

Bother, we've all been there or are there right now.
/r/Divorce_Men13/02/23 04:39 PM
8

Always remember this: even if you file first, you didn't initiate the divorce. She did when she threatened it over the years. You don't throw out the divorce word unless you mean it. Now is the time to NOT be a gentleman. As my brothers and sisters in the Marines say, "Be polite, but always have a plan to kill everyone in the room.". You need to be polite to her, but understand she's now your adversary. Just as you need to, she's looking out for her best interest. Also, if you need to vent, come…
/r/Divorce_Men13/02/23 04:32 PM
5

Even my dog had conditions in her love. I was required to scratch her behind her ears everyday! EVERYDAY!!! I kid. My dog loved me unconditionally. I miss her.
/r/MensRights10/02/23 12:45 AM
3

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RH41hwpgL1k
/r/MensRights23/01/23 05:58 PM
14

I thought we were calling this vodka... Did they change the words again?
/r/MensRights21/01/23 10:51 PM
2

I'm not a lawyer, so if I were you, I'd consult one. But I imagine if it's not in the decree it doesn't matter.
/r/Divorce_Men20/01/23 02:36 AM
4

Yep, that's why you pay them a crap ton of money. Remember, they work for you. If you want this thing done and over with, they have tools at their disposal to push this forward. I just told my lawyer to "burn her sh!t down" since she's also been refusing to respond to our requests to return to mediation. His response? "Ok."
/r/Divorce_Men17/01/23 10:36 PM
4

This. I'm in the process right now, just spoke with my attorney about doing this very thing. My ex and/or her attorney has been ignoring our approaches about going back to mediation to settle out financial issues. This will not end well for them.
/r/Divorce_Men17/01/23 09:31 PM
3

I would argue that love for anyone is not conditional. But that's just my opinion and it's a free one. So... Caveat emptor.
/r/MensRights17/01/23 05:08 PM
10

I love my sons, no matter what. If they do something wrong, I help them deal with the consequences. I will NEVER turn my back on them. Ever. They are my flesh and my blood. I am raising them to be responsible for their actions, and when they do wrong, accept their consequences. Unlike my ex-wife who will disown them (as she's stated) if they are accused of rape or SA.
/r/MensRights17/01/23 04:23 PM
2

Honestly, my whole family, including my siblings spouses, wanted me to get a divorce. To the point they even tried to set me up with a lawyer the first time I tried to leave. To give some context, me dad is a pastor and my mom a nurse and they've been married 40+ years. I spoke with my dad about it, and he told me he never wanted me to get divorced, but that it was better for me and my kids if I did. They all missed who I used to be, and didn't like who I had become under her regime. I'm slowly …
/r/Divorce_Men16/01/23 04:15 PM
1

Well I filed in a no fault state. 50/50 of nothing is still nothing. We're"going" into our final round of mediation to settle things like finances. I used quotes on going because she's dragging her feet on going back in. We might have to go before a judge about it. Also she's made some decisions that benefited her in the short term but are hurting her in the long term. Sorry I can't go into specifics because I don't want to tip my hand.
/r/MensRights11/01/23 05:41 PM
4

Hey brother, vent all you need to. This most definitely does not qualify you as being a whiny bitch. Not in the least bit. I almost lost my boys in a similar manner, but I hired an a hole for a lawyer and fought it. We are about to take her to the cleaners in my divorce. Keep your head up and if you need to talk just message me.
/r/MensRights11/01/23 11:49 AM
3

Shit like this makes me ill. I was emotionally coerced into having sex with my ex wife on more than one occasion. "If you don't have sex with me, you must (not love me, be cheating on me, think I'm too ugly to fuck, etc)."
/r/MensRights29/12/22 01:03 PM
6

YouTube STFU Friday. Always good advice when dealing with the police in a law enforcement situation.
/r/MensRights26/12/22 01:46 PM
7

Have your friend pack a go bag for him and his kid. Offer him a safe place to stay and do not let her on your property. Also, strongly caution him about getting in contact with her while in your place. Help him file a restraining order against her, use the pictures and any messages she sent him. So here's how the day of the restraining order should go. He takes the kids and go bags, meets you at the courthouse, he files the restraining order, and you go to your place immediately after. No detour…
/r/MensRights14/12/22 08:13 PM
11

She initially tried to say that her husband had been abusive. But both her husband and father of the children confirmed that she had been abusive. If I read it correctly.
/r/MensRights13/12/22 11:04 PM
2

I second this, if you're afraid of her going through your phone records and discovering you're talking to a lawyer, you DEFINITELY need an emergency escape plan.
/r/Divorce_Men10/12/22 06:22 PM
9

For me the last strike was when the two sheriff's deputies rolled up to give me a repeat restraining order. Her admitted intent was to get me in front of a judge to force me to go to a minimum 90 day in patient detox and addiction program. A program I neither need nor could afford. But she knew what was best for me. The mental and emotional abuse for the last ten years? It's good for you. Anyway, after a couple days of morning, I called a lawyer with the intent to fight the TRO and then for for …
/r/Divorce_Men08/12/22 04:30 PM
2

I bet he just wanted the pain to stop. And in that instance, doing what she said by taking a whole box of sleeping pills stopped the pain... I'm just glad our brother got free and is healing.
/r/MensRights06/12/22 03:59 AM
5

I understand that it is a massive red flag. But, I can tell you from experience that at a certain point, you will do anything your abuser says just to avoid more abuse. Sign a completely bogus confession? If it'll stop you from screaming at me all night... Give up my friends and family? If doing that will keep me out of trouble with you... Give up my hobbies and anything outside of you? If you'll let me get a good nights sleep... The abuser, his ex (and my ex as well), must exert complete contro…
/r/MensRights06/12/22 03:42 AM
1

My God, I got flashbacks to my last relationship...
/r/MensRights06/12/22 03:09 AM
2

I'm not a lawyer, so my free legal advice is worth what you paid for it. A contempt motion is a motion filed by one side to show the court the other side isn't adhering to a court order that was handed down by the court or agreed on by both parties. Imagine your annoying brother tattling on you for playing with your toys when Mom told you not to. An emergency ex-parte motion is a motion that is filled in one parties behalf that does not require the participation of the other party. Think of a te…
/r/Divorce_Men04/12/22 03:52 PM
2

I would report this and quick. No one, and I do mean no one, should have to go through something like that. Ever.
/r/MensRights03/12/22 11:58 PM
2

First off, you were raped. It doesn't matter that you don't feel like it. You were. She took advantage of you while you were incapable of giving consent. That's rape. Second, (I'm not a lawyer) your name isn't on the birth certificate, you're not on the hook. If she does come after you officially, you need two things... 1. A real lawyer. 2. A real paternity test. Third, don't sign anything. And I do mean ANYTHING without running it through a lawyer. Fourth, it may not be Friday, but you STFU. St…
/r/MensRights26/11/22 04:58 PM
17

Wow, dude. You didn't just stick your dick in crazy, you jumped in head first. Jesus... I echo everyone here: GET OUT OF THIS SITUATION LIKE YOUR LIFE DEPENDS ON IT.\ If she is pregnant, get a test. If it is yours, lawyer up. Learn from this and going forward: wrap it before you tap it. With your own wrappers, never theirs. Jesus H. Christ...
/r/MensRights26/11/22 02:41 AM
1

Remember, that this is a consult, the first step. You're lawyer will tell you if there is any further info you need to provide and what is helpful to your case. Good luck to you!
/r/Divorce_Men25/11/22 08:36 PM
21

This times a thousand. If you don't have a lawyer start talking to one. There is no reason for the new supply to be in the middle of that mediation. None. If he doesn't leave voluntarily, walk away. You're under no obligation to allow anything.
/r/Divorce_Men24/11/22 04:14 PM
8

The longer she holds out in defiance, the worse it'll be when she goes in front of the judge. But that's my opinion and it's free. So... You're getting your money's worth.
/r/Divorce_Men24/11/22 01:24 PM
6

Happy men's day, you glorious bastards.
/r/Divorce_Men19/11/22 01:19 PM
2

Document how, when, and where she has denied you access to YOUR son. Talk to a lawyer. When you show up to the mediation or hearings, you'll be able to argue that it was her choice to deny you access to YOUR son. You'll be able to show how you want to be in YOUR son's life. And this could lead to a judge granting 50% share time. Providing, of course, there isn't a mitigating circumstance. ​ But, I'm not a lawyer. So you get what you paid for in my advice.
/r/Divorce_Men17/11/22 05:04 PM
5

This right here. If it's not in writing it doesn't exist.
/r/Divorce_Men05/11/22 01:52 PM
3

Second this. You're the bad guy to her anyway. Unless her family has dealt with her bs, they're going to side with her. If they do, you just have to learn to accept that for what it is. Right now is the time to be selfish and WANT to take care you. You can't keep setting yourself on fire to keep her warm.
/r/Divorce_Men03/11/22 12:45 PM
15

I'd say talk with your lawyer.
/r/Divorce_Men31/10/22 03:02 PM
11

Talk. To. A . Lawyer.
/r/Divorce_Men22/10/22 04:40 PM
6

I've seen some govt grade stupid. I've seen military grade stupid. But this is beyond stoopid. Way beyond stupid. If she wants another kid she can adopt one, go to a sperm bank, or hook up with someone else. But she's your ex for a reason. Don't tie yourself back to her for more. Do. Not. Do. It.
/r/Divorce_Men20/10/22 08:37 PM
You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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