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Daikon-Apart Archive

View 0 posts and 74 comments by Daikon-Apart on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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8

I'm also not a daily showerer - I tend towards dryness in both skin and hair and even with the best quality products a daily shower is a problem. But as you say, there are many ways to stay hygienic without a daily shower. And I can also respect that there may be people for whom that's still a deal breaker, and while I would be open to discussing and explaining my position, I'm also open to those people just not being right for me. That's the part that these guys always miss out on. If you don't…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/03/22 03:04 PM
17

This is exactly it. The saying isn't meant to apply to cases like... let's say a man is in a wheelchair and therefore can't accompany his partner on a hike. That's clearly a physical limitation. However, if it's critical to that person that their partner come on hikes - no amount of him wishing he could makes up for the fact that he never will. "If he wanted to, he would" is meant to apply to 1) Things that are critical/deal breakers, 2) Repeated cases of being let down, and/or 3) Cases where th…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/03/22 08:09 PM
11

This is the thing that gets me. I actually really like decorating with shades of beige/brown and grey/black, but it always needs an accent. For instance, my library is all shades of taupe and white, but with pops of blue. My bedroom is beige and light brown, but with pops of forest green. My living room is also beige and light brown, but I've added rich chocolates and golds. Liking a neutral palette is fine, and keeping your walls/floors neutral is definitely great if you're in a rental or possi…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/03/22 02:41 PM
26

I wouldn't say it's all HV people on a board. I sit on one with a dozen people, 1/3 male and 2/3 female. The men seem to be 50/50 HV and the women a bit better, but there's definitely a couple that are questionable. That being said, it's still a far better ratio of seemingly decent people than any other group that isn't a handpicked group of friends.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/03/22 05:21 PM
72

For those who can't read due to the paywall: https://12ft.io/proxy?q=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.washingtonpost.com%2Fopinions%2F2022%2F03%2F17%2Fsex-ethics-rethinking-consent-culture%2F
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/03/22 05:50 PM
21

On the flip side, I love cooking, but I learned it from my father and my participation in Scouting. I can guarantee you, neither are bastions of femininity, nor did either teach me just because I was the girl (both my brother and the boys in the group were expected to cook the same as I was, allowing for age differences). And even though I do love cooking, I still don't want to/have the mental capacity to do it every day. I cook a big meal on the weekend that I eat over the course of the week an…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/03/22 01:37 PM
6

Yeah, this is almost exactly my situation. Emotional affair with a coworker that he tried to hide by acting like I was the problem with our relationship, meanwhile he was financially draining us trying to impress her. Once I caught on, he refused to cut her off or even put distance between them, so I started proceedings (sadly, you can't file same day here, as there's a separation requirement). If you hear him tell the story, though, I deceived him as to who I was (despite being 18 when we got t…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/03/22 04:33 PM
27

So I genuinely do enjoy anal in specific rare situations. I still would suggest running away from any man who actively pursues/pushes for it. It should be completely driven by the person receiving in order to prevent any injury, and any man who's looking for it is likely to ignore that fact. The only time a man should bring it up is 1) A overall 'yes/no' conversation about sexual boundaries or 2) confirmation when you've indicated interest in it that day if you'd still want it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/03/22 02:51 PM
22

Or the variation on this: “I can’t make you feel anything", always said right after you ask them not to say/do something that is hurtful. And always coming from someone who freaks out if you’re even slightly critical of them, even if it’s couched in the nicest way possible and is a genuine issue. This is why I hate the therapist recommended “I feel X when X" opener because so many assholes will use the whole "well, I can’t make you feel anything, so you should maybe deal with this yourself" cop …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/02/22 06:05 PM
26

It’s also handy to know where behaviours that may be a red flag for other women may just need deeper vetting from you. For instance, a man not liking children is and should be an immediate block and delete for a woman who has/wants kids, but I instead try to determine if it’s because he hates caretaking (red flag - suggests he won’t be supportive in the case of a medical emergency) or if he simply doesn’t connect with them but can still be friendly and polite to them (passes that particular stag…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/02/22 12:28 AM
66

I think the key for me has been 1) identify what you will not accept from a partner [which should include anything that actively hurts you, along with anything that significantly bothers you at a minimum], 2) identify what you absolutely need to see in a partner, and 3) identify what behaviours may signal those things you won’t accept even if they’re not the actual behaviours right in your face, as well as the same for signals of what you require. Doing so means that you are quicker to identify …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/02/22 11:40 PM
19

I’m halfway through the process of getting out myself, after getting picked by a NVM just before I turned 20. I’ll have wasted 15 years on him by the time all is said and done (there’s a required wait between separation and divorce where I live). Now, 15 years is far better than 20, 30, or even more, but it does mean I’ve got trauma to unpack, lost money to recoup, and a whole lot of things that are going to be more challenging in my 30s than they would have been if I’d been able to do them in m…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/02/22 04:15 AM
35

Oh god, exactly this. My ex hated the fact that I’m a voracious reader, mocked me for that being my default hobby when I was sitting around bored. Apparently I should have been mindlessly scrolling the internet or listening to music instead, judging by his own common hobbies. No empathy, no ability to see anyone in his life as anything but a side character/NPC, and of course he ended up cheating on me and claiming it was my fault for being "boring". I haven’t decided yet if being at least someth…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/02/22 05:28 AM
6

It’s not quite as good, but I’ve done my regular mac and cheese with cauliflower instead of pasta. You’d probably have to limit the amount of Cheetos you put on the top, but if you used a food calculator, I’m sure it would be possible.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/02/22 03:17 AM
44

It's so frustrating because men can very much get away with the "more or less the same outfit every day" and still look good if they put together something that actually works for and fits them. Most dress shirts and slacks will come in different colors with the exact same cut, so all they need to do is figure out the cut and size that works and then buy a half-dozen pairs of pants and a dozen shirts and make sure that they know which shirts can and can't go with which pants. Same goes for jeans…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/02/22 03:20 PM
15

I actually make a really amazing mac & cheese recipe topped with crushed flaming hot Cheetos. Probably still too much work for this guy, because a béchamel sauce isn't the easiest thing in the world, but it is absolutely fantastic on a cold winter's week. (For anyone who wants to try it, you can use any ham mac & cheese recipe, only you sub in andouille sausage finely chopped for the ham, make sure one of your cheeses is a pepper jack, and top with the crushed flaming hot Cheetos instead of brea…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/02/22 02:26 PM
103

Because any woman with a functioning brain would not share their vulnerability with this kind of person, so all he's aware of are the kinds of stories that are so sensationalized that they manage to make their way into the the cave that he dwells in.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/02/22 04:41 AM
6

I'm pretty sure that's referring to Susan Cain's book, which is actually worth a read. But you make a good point about this list - without referencing the authors, it's not very clear what exactly each day is (others here are acting like day 1 is an actual instruction, whereas I think it's the book by William McRaven).
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/02/22 05:31 AM
24

This is so interesting to me, because I’m a woman who is seeking power. But when you lay out those motivations, I can recognize that I want the power only for purposes of community. I pursue leadership because I want to make things better for the people around me, and I recognize that power is the way to make that happen. And when I have that power, I listen to my community whilst wielding it, to make sure I don’t wander too far off track. I think that might be a very interesting vetting questio…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/02/22 03:31 AM
23

The sad thing is that the only two people in my life I struggle to get gifts for are both men - my dad and my brother. Some men don't have hobbies and interests (or maybe one specific thing), and they will often pick a single woman to fulfill any day-to-day needs so you don't even hear them mention something offhandedly unless you're around that woman when something comes up. I have to ask my mother every year if there's anything they've mentioned to her that she hasn't picked up yet or any clot…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/01/22 02:51 PM
1

This was my ex. 40K from "us", 20k from his mother. He was doing options too, so it literally completely evaporated. The only saving grace I had was getting him to sign a piece of paper that stated what he owed me. Ended up being able to keep the house because his share minus what he owed me was just within my comfort zone for what I could afford.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/01/22 02:51 AM
28

Personally, whenever I feel like this in any goal I have, I like to find something very small and easily manageable that still moves me in the right direction. For my career goals, it might be reading 5 articles or doing a 1-2 hour online course. For my personal self-love goals, I often like researching a new healthy and tasty recipe and testing it out, finding a day hike I can do the next weekend, or picking out a simple and somewhat fun but less frequently done chore (auditing my closet, reorg…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/01/22 03:21 AM
1

I started puberty noticeably at 10. By 12 I had B-cup breasts and noticeable curves. I spent most of my teens hiding in the baggiest clothes I could. I have (and had even at 14) an hourglass figure and a relatively cute-attractive face, so I'd play that down as much as I could. It didn't completely stop men from harassing, groping, insulting, chasing, etc. me, but it did tone it down a bit. The thing that still gets me is how many people will downplay what it's like. My ex was famous for mocking…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/01/22 11:39 PM
52

The thing that gets me is that it's always such a significant difference. Like, I vary between 5'6" and 5'7" depending on the day, time, etc. I don't feel like I'd be lying to say either, and I wouldn't be fussed if someone claimed to be 6' and measured in at 5'11" if I got the chance to actually check, especially if that check happened in the evening. But nobody who isn't completely delusional is going to believe you're 6' when you're 5'9"! So why bother saying you are? It's going to fall apart…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/01/22 01:46 PM
70

This binary is the bane of my existence. I have to walk a very fine line of being neat, clean, presentable, and work-appropriate while also downplaying my figure, how pretty/cute my face is, etc. I can see an actual difference in the way people at work interact with me when I'm wearing something even slightly revealing or when I put actual effort into makeup, and it's not for the better. Of course, my ex hated the fact that he couldn't show me off and ranted about how I was wasting my attractive…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/01/22 02:39 PM
82

That sounds like my story. I started out in a STEM program at the best school for it in the country. Got through my first year and after being at best ignored and at worst mocked by 90% of not only my fellow students but also the TAs and profs, I switched to a humanities subject instead. Just wasn't worth it to me considering I had multiple passions and only went the STEM route for increased employability.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/01/22 02:23 PM
52

This may just be me/the type of men I've historically dated, but every single one (except the one who never slipped and was a possible HVM who was just incompatible) showed the first real noticeable signs when I was meeting/hanging out with his friends for the first time. It makes sense - the kinds of men who are typically LVM want to look a certain way in front of their bros, so even if they're still trying to put on an act for you, it will be compromised by their need to appear how they want. …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/01/22 05:33 PM
4

I'm lucky that with a separation agreement in place, the potential for dragging things out is limited, as everything has been divided already. And as long as the woman he left me for doesn't run for the hills before then, he's motivated to have it all signed. I'd feel bad for hoping that she doesn't wise up to his abuse until I'm fully free, but she cheated on her spouse too and was more than aware I existed, so as far as I'm concerned she dug her own grave.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/12/21 05:05 PM
15

So I live somewhere that a 1 year separation is required before divorce, unless there's chargeworthy levels of physical abuse or proof of physical infidelity. It's why I'm technically still married - I cannot get divorced until a full year after my shithead of an ex moved out, because I have no proof that he cheated or hit me, even though he did both. He has zero chance of winning me back, we have no ties other than the need to sign that last piece of paper, and I've been in therapy since we spl…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/12/21 03:54 PM
26

One I'm just getting into is the Imperfect Podcast, which was recommended to me by my mentor. Every episode the (white female) host talks to a leader about their approach to management, but it's all focused around an emotionally in touch "heart centered" leader. It's apparently a quite common leadership style amongst female leaders, but hasn't had much study because of the male-dominated nature of most corporate structures. So far I'm about 10 episodes in and they're quite good - some male leade…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/12/21 06:44 PM
46

It's definitely a thing, and as a woman who genuinely enjoys a number of outdoorsy things, it sucks when you're into their thing as well. The combination of gatekeeping (if you don't do the "right" type of activity in the "right" way, you're not really into being outdoorsy) and ridiculous expectations (go for a hike first date, go camping within a month or two) are just 🤮 And if you do get to the point of going out and doing outdoorsy stuff, the dudes usually either try to show off or they get r…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/12/21 09:02 PM
9

The one I use is called Tody. Just a caution - you have to manually turn on the notifications when setting it up, and it doesn't transfer data when you switch phones, so you'll need to redo your lists of tasks if that ever happens. But other than that, I love it and it really does make a difference!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/12/21 01:35 PM
54

Unmedicated here - I swear smartphones are my saviors. I have an app that pings me every morning with my checklist of chores that are due that day. I filled it out initially with things I knew, and then added more as I stumbled across things I'd forgotten to add in the first place. The app lets me set frequency, seasonality, location, and I can even postpone tasks (say I'm out of town or the vacuum cleaner broke) by however long I want. I still sometimes miss a hairball for an embarrassing numbe…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/12/21 05:47 AM
79

When he nuked the emotional security I had with him I really thought I was asexual for the longest time even after the breakup. Ugh, my ex did this to me too. Completely obliterated any security or trust I had in the relationship, both emotionally and physically. Then he kept telling me I was clearly asexual because I didn't want him touching me. As additional 'proof', he pointed out that I don't like to wear 'sexy' aka revealing clothing. It didn't work on me because I'd dated before him and ha…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/12/21 01:28 AM
109

So I learned this from the childfree community and it works really well for me: Make yourself a Bingo card with all the common shitty assumptions/sayings on it. When you're faced with one, pull out your phone and make a joke about how they're helping you get Bingo. It works in two ways. One, it removes the need for you to respond directly to their shit and shifts the conversation. Two, these people all think they're special and unique, and you're forcing them to face the fact that they're not in…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/12/21 01:15 PM
37

My own divorce was a combination of the two reasons - he was cheating but would have let me stick around to feast on his crumbs if I was willing to let him have the OW (spoiler alert: I wasn't). That experience, plus those of friends and family, has definitely made me wary of divorced men, and I would want to do additional/longer vetting before combining finances or moving towards marriage with one. That being said, I do know of exactly one case where a man initiated a divorce that wasn't becaus…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/12/21 09:43 PM
17

The number of dudes on OLD wanting to slap, control, and humiliate women while simultaneously disliking toys and oral sex and not thinking their partner's satisfaction is a high priority is mind-boggling. I have no idea how they expect to have a partner who wants sex, but I'm guessing it involves a significant amount of manipulation and abuse.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/12/21 10:19 PM
186

Fellow child free Canuck here - why do we have such a high percentage of dbags who think that the only reason to not have kids is to live this kind of life? The number of men that have said "Well then I might as well have kids" when I express that I'm quite happy living in a real house with running water... it boggles the mind.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/11/21 08:58 PM
81

I think it’s worth drawing the line between sarcasm at/about a person and about a thing. Saying something like "well aren't you a genius" sarcastically or responding to a genuine question with a sarcastic answer is hurtful to the relationship with the person you're talking to. Saying "oh yeah, the project is going great!" sarcastically when everyone knows it's 3 months behind is not hurtful. However, I do think it's still an expression of anger, so it's worth assessing what the anger behind a sa…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/11/21 04:44 PM
69

So I definitely can't shower daily because it destroys my hair and skin (never heard the teeth one, though - I'm a regular brusher). There's some key hygiene rules if you're not going to shower every day that most of these adult babies miss: Scrub yourself thoroughly when you are showering. Get into every crevice and cranny. Make sure your hair is fully cleaned and conditioner is washed out. Use other products properly and frequently. Deodorant is not an option if you're not showering every day.…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/11/21 01:54 PM
34

And most men will judge and mock the shit out of women for reading them and prattle on about how they create "unreasonable expectations" but then rabidly defend porn use...
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/11/21 11:09 PM
52

Presumably when you're telling him how pretty his purple mushroom is or how yummy the benefits are.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/11/21 01:38 PM
30

On the flip side, I do best with less fiber and my IBS symptoms are triggered by foods like bread and legumes. But I worked hard through my 20s to identify my trigger foods and now I get surprised by a bad bout maybe once or twice a year. And I'm the one that cleans the toilet afterwards (though it never needs more than a couple of flushes, so I don't know what this man is doing that needs full on cleaning!)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/11/21 12:38 AM
3

Oh, 100%. If you're looking at buying a house it's usually best to clear debts unless you're going to reduce your downpayment below the recommended amount to do so. But based on the post, I'm guessing he has no real interest in buying right now and is just willing to go along with his girlfriend's plan for the sake of simplicity.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/11/21 07:11 PM
17

If the rate of return on the savings is higher than the rate of interest on the debt, it does make financial sense to keep saving and pay only the minimum costs for the debt. Provided you're not looking to do something like buy a house where optimal credit may influence your options, of course. The relative cost-benefit of interest is why I have invested savings and a good chunk taken out of my paycheck for my company's stock ownership plan instead of paying off my mortgage faster - I'm getting …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/11/21 03:33 PM
2

Depends on the kitten and the mug, to be fair. I love tea, so I have several mugs that I can easily fit even a fully healthy kitten up to about 10 weeks. A lot of stray/feral litters are picked up in the 2-4 week old range, so they tend to be a little on the smaller side for the first few weeks. And plenty of rescues and shelters do photos early so they can have homes lined up at 10 weeks when the babies are ready to go. So yeah, you could easily fit a 6-week old stray kitten in most average to …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/10/21 01:25 PM
75

It would be the absolute perfect mug for kitten adoption pics 😍
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/10/21 11:39 PM
79

5'7" and have ranged from 130 to 160lbs over the last decade. Smallest I've been is a 2/4 and largest I've been is a 8/10. Unless he's using a really specific brand's size chart (I know of one where I'd maybe be a 14 at my heaviest because they have a huge size range and increment in very small amounts), he definitely is talking out his ass. Maybe he was trying to say a 12-16 inch waist, which is virtually impossible? Or childrens/teen sizes - a 12-16 ranges between 24" and 30" based on a few si…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/10/21 08:23 PM
6

I think men being protective or taking over heavy lifting becomes "benevolent sexism" when they imply that women are not capable of protecting themselves or lifting heavy things or force their assistance on a woman, and then imply that women are lesser or owe them for doing those things. It is not benevolent sexism to acknowledge that the average man is bigger than the average woman, nor that they're more likely to be listened to or respected by the kinds of people women might need protection fr…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/09/21 10:42 PM
31

I am so glad that although my GP is male, he has always had female NPs that do my gyno exams with him not in the room. They said they'd ask if I was OK to bring him in if they saw anything concerning, but for a standard exam and swab, he doesn't need to be there. He's actually been a really good doctor, including taking my hip and knee pain seriously and referring me to a dermatologist when I asked for one. But it's super sad that I have to be so glad that he's decent. He's a doctor - he should …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/09/21 12:41 AM
16

I can think of exactly one time for me, and that was leaving a job I was content with but that wasn't challenging me any more. I hated the job I moved to and spent the better part of a year regretting the move before another opportunity came up. I probably would have been able to get that second job without the first move (the hiring manager knew and respected me), so I could have spent a year bored but content rather than unhappy. The difference with a job, though, is that pretty much everyone …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/09/21 08:23 PM
11

I personally really like browns and grays as a colour scheme for my home, because they're calm neutrals. My library is painted a darkish taupe, with white bookshelves and rug, light taupe fabric lazy boys and dark brown floors and daybed. I do have art on the walls, artistic bookends, and some pops of colour with blue throw pillows and blankets, but I do like how atonal it is. That being said, you can tell I made an effort to coordinate the colours, to pick art that worked with the room and furn…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/09/21 06:45 PM
24

Canada is fairly similar to the UK with a few differences: Oral birth control isn't free for everyone - you can usually get it for free if you're low income and it is covered by insurance if you have it, but you otherwise pay for it, granted most varieties are cheap ($10-20 a month) Maternity leave payments are lower. You're only guaranteed 55% of your income, though many companies will add more to that (my employer does 100% for 3 months). However, you're guaranteed 50 weeks at that 55% as long…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/09/21 01:58 AM
7

Sending an image if you want something super specific makes sense - I sent my mom a picture of a specific face wash I recommended to her because it was from a brand that does a lot of products with similar names. But unless you're having to explain the difference between the foaming gel wash and the foaming cream wash, a product name should be enough for cases when you have preferences and a general item/name when you don't. (I always do a list when someone else is shopping for me, because I hav…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/08/21 04:41 PM
22

I get why you're saying that, but there's a vast array of surgeries other than boob jobs and butt lifts, and some may actually make a difference for some people. I didn't get surgery, but I did go on Accutane because my skin was absolutely horrible after getting off birth control (and still not great even on it). I didn't need it - the treatment was more risky to my health than the acne was - but it definitely changed my life once I had it. If you have a really strong or weak facial feature, or …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/08/21 02:21 PM
23

This tool really just says what percentage of the entire male population meets your criteria. As others have said, it doesn't even necessarily give you an accurate percentage, seeing as it seems to remove the full percentage that don't meet a criteria each time. So, for instance, if 20% of men are in the 25-35 age range and 20% of men are 6'+, then it says that you have a 4% chance of meeting a man that is both, even though younger generations are statistically taller. There's known correlations…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/08/21 03:57 AM
16

I've now had three male managers and three female managers (not counting the ones that were transitional and only lasted a month or two). Man #1 is the worst manager I've ever had. He would pile work on me rather than either doing it himself, redistributing to the rest of the team or hiring someone else. I told him repeatedly that I was working pretty much every minute the system was open and still having to rush, so I was inevitably going to make a mistake. He ignored me and then blew up when I…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/08/21 03:42 PM
43

I would say my last boss is a good example of a woman who leveled up and is now a HVM. She was in a relationship with an NVM in university and got pregnant so had to drop out, but by the time I met her in her late 40s, they had split and she'd basically gone full FDS. She was in an AVP position, and spent most of her money enjoying her life while still saving a good amount for retirement. She was dating a guy, but split from him once he started taking her for granted. She also made an effort to …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/07/21 04:37 PM
1

Right? Like stay at home parent is risky enough, but at least you have a decent chance of getting primary custody and therefore child support. There's none of that for a dog, meaning that you have to 100% trust your partner not to leave you without plenty of warning. That being said, I've had the thought that I'd love to open a rescue if I ever won a sizeable lottery, so I can see how it could be appealing if someone is independently wealthy or has a super flexible work from anywhere job. But if…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/07/21 05:22 PM
8

I'm relatively low cost because I can use a lot of drug store and Costco products, and I'm pretty sure that when I was going into the office daily, I still spent about $55 a month between skin care, makeup, and hair care costs. $20 means you're almost certainly skimping on something. Even buying just shampoo, conditioner, face wash, sunscreen, and moisturizer is easily $10-15 a month.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/07/21 05:57 PM
25

Unless they live somewhere that housing and rent prices have dropped and property tax valuations haven't (which is unlikely given what the last year has done to housing costs in most places), he's getting a really good deal, especially if she's covering utility costs as well. For my own situation, that would be a 50% discount on an equal split (he would be paying 500/mth instead of 1000), and it would be 33% of half of market rent for a similar home (500 instead of 1500/mth).
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/07/21 04:40 AM
90

I swear half of this is a perfect representation of my brother and the other half isn't far off. I've basically given up trying to convince my parents to cut him off so he's forced to grow up. He's 30 and has never truly taken care of himself - he did spend one year of undergrad an hour away from home (in the city I live in) but then dropped out. He does work, but in an entry level position my mom got him that pays about 25% above min wage. Other than some heavy lifting and yard work, he doesn't…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/07/21 12:54 AM
69

I've seen it happen before that guys will be super nice to an attractive woman when shes paying attention to them, and then speak negatively about her as soon as she's not. As far as I can tell, it's jealousy that they don't "have" her. They're basically doing the kind of negging that an NVM does to break down his female partner so she'll stay with him, only they're doing it for themselves and for anyone with them. It's like they're trying to gaslight or rewrite reality so that this woman who is…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/07/21 02:20 PM
20

Our humor tends to be observational and witty. Most good humour stems from a combination of pointed use of language and strong observations, especially ones about human interactions. What do even men tend to think women are better at? The "softer subjects" such as languages and sociology. How anyone can reconcile the two beliefs is beyond me.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/07/21 02:27 AM
14

My NVX hated that I read a lot too. For him, it was that we "didn't do fun things together", even though he mocked or sulked through anything I did suggest. And me reading while he watched sports or played video games wasn't OK either, because that wasn't really spending time together. Thankfully, he never crushed my interest in reading and I still devour books from a wide variety of genres. I actually co-run a Zoom book club now, which is a ton of fun. Did take a while to feel comfortable talki…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/07/21 03:39 AM
18

And if you don't want kids and can't see him being a good father because he also doesn't want kids, that's not really a red flag. Absolutely some "you shouldn't have kids" behaviors should be a warning for women as well - hot tempered, unwilling to pull weight, or a high level of authoritarianism. But things like not liking kids or not having a kid compatible lifestyle may not be an issue for a woman who shares similar feelings and interests.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/07/21 12:10 AM
19

This was my thought. I think in the long-term Miranda was less of a villain than Andy's social circle, but I don't think that means that she wasn't a villain. You can be career-focused and even obsessed with your job without becoming a cruel and unreasonable person. People who are in management do best when they balance high expectations with an empathetic approach to their team members. Yes, sometimes you have to ask a lot and not accept excuses, but that doesn't mean you get to ask for the moo…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/07/21 03:01 PM
62

And they'll almost certainly give you a hassle if you accept your natural gray hair, especially if you're going gray younger than average.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/06/21 11:57 PM
27

I STG this is something that I can actively see happening with my mom. She was already pretty misogynistic and LVW, but since my brother is getting into middle age and still doesn't have any chance at finding a partner, she's started outright whining about "girls these days" (nevermind that he's far too old for anyone who could be called a girl). She also blamed me for having too high standards when my NVX and I split, despite me sharing with her how he was abusing me. I guess "doesn't physicall…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/06/21 11:53 PM
14

Most people I know think that empath is just the word you use for someone that's very good at empathy or otherwise reading/understanding unspoken emotions. But then I don't run in any kind of spiritual/new age circles, so maybe that's where people think of it as a psychic thing?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/06/21 05:14 AM
21

If you're an app person, there's a mood tracking app I love called Daylio. It lets you assign levels of feeling (standard is five, with two negative, two positive, and one neutral) and tag activities for that day. And you can do multiple entries for one day, add comments, etc. Then you can check your calendar, filter for activities to see how they match up with moods, and even get some pretty decent charts (at least with the pro version). It also lets you set goals for activities and track your …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/06/21 02:54 PM
12

This is my abusive narcissistic ex to a T. Every time I met one of his supposed goals, there was yet another thing I wasn't doing right. And if I dared to point out that he was contradicting himself, he would blow up at me about how stupid I was not to understand what he was asking me for. The only thing I was doing that was truly stupid was not walking away. I got lucky and he found another woman who "treated him better" (aka didn't argue with him about the clear issues and contradictions) and …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/06/21 11:05 PM
7

My father may have been a LVM, but my mother is the one who attacked me for "losing a good man" when I left an abusive relationship. Even my cousin, who divorced her own husband, was unwilling to be supportive of me leaving "such a cool guy". The men in my life didn't criticize me for it, they just ignored it happening. The women were the ones saying "it takes two" and talking up my ex while suggesting that I had no right to complain about him literally choking me.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/06/21 12:49 PM
49

This is in South Korea, too, which has the highest rate of plastic surgery per capita. Up to 20% of women in South Korea have felt the need to surgically alter their faces and bodies, and there are so many stories out there about how they feel they need to do so for the purpose of getting jobs and husbands. But apparently their men feel that the suggestion that their own bodies aren't sufficient is absolutely unacceptable.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/06/21 03:34 PM
You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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