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Dantilli Archive

View 0 posts and 127 comments by Dantilli on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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5

If you had an abundance of chocolate, you wouldn't stop eating chocolate would you? If anything you'd probably eat more simply because you like it. That's the key, you eat it because you like it, not because you're jonesing for a fix or it's some kind of "forbidden fruit". Same with approaching women and sex. If you already get lots of validation and sex from women, that doesn't mean you're gonna stop having sex or talking to women. Just that you'll do it because you enjoy it rather than because…
/r/seduction23/04/18 09:31 PM
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The actual sending of the text takes 10 secs, sure. But the time it takes to get my head back into the conversation and actually think of a reasonable response... It ends up taking a lot longer. It also take me out of the flow of what I'm already doing, which is usually more enjoyable. If it's not important I just save that shit for face to face. It's much more enjoyble and means you have more to talk about when you actually get together. Face to face interactions create much stronger bonds too …
/r/seduction31/03/18 03:23 PM
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You realise that this is just how busy people communicate right? You'd be damn lucky to get 3 texts off me, or any of my friends tbh, in a day unless I really need to have a conversation for some reason. Usually I save most of it for when I meet up in person or maybe a phonecall if that's not possible. Most of the people I meet have similar habits. When you're out doing shit you just don't have time to text and if you've arranged to meet up next week or the week after then... there literally is …
/r/seduction31/03/18 12:50 PM
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Simply, there are 3 steps you need to go through and they can be done in any order theoretically, though this order is probably the easiest. Learn how to flirt and the basics of game by talking and flirting with loads of people. Sounds like you've already been doing that, which is great, and leads into development of the second point. Learn that No-one is "better" than anyone else, there is no objective scale, the value you apply to a person is ENTIRELY your own choice. So stop applying a value …
/r/seduction23/12/17 04:42 PM
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First, you have to be open to the idea that your height is not a limiting factor. You have to be truly willing to change your mind on it otherwise nothing will change not matter what you do. Your beliefs are changing constantly anyway whether you realise it or not so it's always worth consciously opening your mind to a positive change if you can. Now believe it or not we are both the same height AND the same age, fucking weird right? I've NEVER not ONCE felt limited by my height in any meaningfu…
/r/seduction06/12/17 04:27 PM
9

The problem comes when the relationship ends, not many people know how to (or wish to) end them amicably. All it takes is a few little unpleasant comments on her part and the whole workplace could be turned against you. This will inevitably effect your relationship with your boss, possibly to the point of being passed over for promotions or other opportunities. Or, depending on how far this girl wants to push it, you could get fired as when it comes down to a "he said, she said" in a sexual hara…
/r/seduction06/12/17 12:39 PM
1

Then the answer is simple: Build your life in such a way that it gives you that natural confidence. Also, what you might think as "ON POINT" in the moment might have only been maybe a 5/10 from a more objective standpoint. Confidence isn't a stressful effort once you get used to having it, quite the opposite in fact.
/r/seduction19/11/17 10:53 AM
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I live in the north of England and I don't have too much of a problem getting conversation out of people. I always talk to people at bus stops, on random benches etc. when I have a spare 5 mins. A lot of pickup advice seems to start with overriding the thoughts of the girl you're talking to and bringing them into your story. Sometimes, especially in more open cultures, you can just go up to someone and talk and they'll take you up (some parts of America being a big example of this). Others you n…
/r/seduction30/06/17 03:15 PM
3

The problem with your perception is that you assume the "average" guy has all those things to a large extent. In reality most people lead small, modest lives with a few close friends (that often change over time) earning just enough to keep them going, often not even that. These people aren't the massively charismatic high earners you imagine in your head, they are stoic and mired in insecurity for the most part. Literally all the people I've known, even the successful ones, have a glaring insec…
/r/seduction06/06/17 11:46 AM
2

I really had no idea how to steer the conversation from there or what to do Sounds to me like the conversation died (or didn't even get started) before the guy came on the scene and you weren't picking up the signs that she wanted to escape. Sometimes you don't click with people, it happens, move on. Not much more I can say really. Most of the time it's beyond your control.
/r/seduction20/05/17 08:58 AM
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I think that you're pandering to her wishes and not upholding your own boundaries. If you don't want a day/night out with her friends, but with her alone, then tell her that. If you don't care, then tell her that. But think first about what YOU want in terms of your dating experience. You said yourself that you asked her on a date and that bringing friends makes it no longer a date. Is that something YOU are ok with? cos it sounds to me like you wanna date HER, rather than meet all her friends. …
/r/seduction21/04/17 03:37 PM
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Training for a sport, going out for a meal, going to the movies, going for a walk, playing computer games, playing board/card games, practicing a craft/hobby (which encompases a hell of a lot like baking/cooking, programming, knitting, writing, playing instruments etc.), watching tv, tidying your living space, listening to music, driving, washing your car, sorting out your disgustingly overcrowded desktop (both irl and computer desktop), dancing, going to a bar/club, working (maybe on a side bus…
/r/seduction02/04/17 08:59 PM
2

This is great advice in the short term but it could be relied on as a crutch eventually. By this I mean that if the flaking really bothers you emotionally then doing something else fun by yourself will cover that up. But it doesn't deal with the fact that you got upset by the fact that she flaked, which is a real issue that needs adressing, not escaping from. It's also much better to build your life such that you already have stuff going on that you can bring a girl into rather than hinging your…
/r/seduction02/04/17 08:38 PM
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One example is he thinks the avrege girl has been with like 40-100 men. That's reductions I agree and I think he does too. I remember him saying in a video that he says stuff like this as a way of instilling beliefs in the viewer. Most people put the girls on a pedestal and refuse to believe they are a sexual creature. They try to be too... pure with how they approach, thinking this to be more desirable. If you instill in this person the belief that women have sex all the time and that a pure ap…
/r/seduction18/01/17 07:42 AM
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He yells, and makes gay sex jokes constantly. He use to be this funny crazy guy" but now he goes over the top and it's annoying and unrepeatable You see, I don't always enjoy them jokes either but if I learned anything in my time at university it's that gay sex jokes come up all the fucking time anyway. At least half the people I know (the most laid back ones funnily enough) always liked to take it one step too far into crude territory for the sake of humour. Even my parents like to tell gay but…
/r/seduction18/01/17 02:04 AM
10

I kind of miss the more mellow side of him Really? I just watched one of the more recent ones and he's a fuckload more mellow than I remember. I understand the not relating to normal guys though, he even mentioned it himself during what I watched. It makes sense though, he's been in it a lot longer, he has to keep evolving or he'll stagnate. Also there are plenty other people in the company that are more relatable than he ever was tbh. Makes sense that he would appeal to the demographic that is …
/r/seduction18/01/17 01:00 AM
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How would you say he's gone over the top exactly? I'm a bit out of the loop with rsd stuff atm.
/r/seduction17/01/17 11:57 PM
3

There is an appreciation for smart people almost everywhere because there are smart people that live almost everywhere. However the way you approached your question suggests you've got something holding you back. Do you consider your "intelligence" to be a key part of your identity? because to pin your self esteem on a certain facet of your personality like that will cause you a lot of suffering. When someone you consider "better" at being intellectual than you comes into a room you will probabl…
/r/seduction15/01/17 06:41 PM
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I'd say I'm an extrovert because I hate being at home and my days off. I deliberately stay at work for an extra hour sometimes Is that because you don't like your home environment or because you don't like being alone with yourself? Do you practice meditation? I ask this because it sounds like you might be trying to run away from certain thoughts, or maybe all your thoughts, by constantly doing stuff. If that's true you need to slow down and examine what you're running from and work through it o…
/r/seduction11/01/17 05:21 PM
2

I don't want that type of guy as a SO Well of course you don't. When you think of the idea of a SO you think of monogamy, dedicating yourself to one person. Getting to the point of finding someone a reaching a state of interdependance with them. The guy that's running around fucking everything that moves generally doesn't want that. So you not wanting him as an SO is pretty much the perfect situation. What #3 means to me is the idea that you don't supress yourself just because you like someone. …
/r/seduction09/12/16 08:22 PM
5

I do ask qualification questions, but it seems pointless to ask them until they are clearly into you? Welp, there is the core of your problem. You think you have to wait until they're into you to make a move, that's simply not true. Literally the opposite actually. Asking those kinds of questions and making moves is what actually ATTRACTS women, you don't have to wait. At the very VERY least it might just be the case the girl you're talking to wasn't thinking about sex or starting a relationship…
/r/seduction09/12/16 04:03 PM
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That's the genius of it, you ARE special because he chose you over all these other options. Especially if you think some of these other girls are more attractive than you, which is almost a guarantee. As a sidenote, what you said, does it come from a place of objective criticism or of insecurity and jealousy? Be careful to not let your insecurities inform your beliefs too much, along that path lies much pain and suffering.
/r/seduction09/12/16 03:46 PM
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Even if the conversation hits a wall, regular contact builds relationships. You'll be able to go further each conversation because you know more about them (you're following their life through snapchat) and can even reference past conversations. Off the chart comfort levels with minimal effort. To quote OP Conversations typically lead to more conversation, which can lead to a date, or a hangout As for I'm just not sure how to steer the conversation. These were just girl friends of mine, no one I…
/r/seduction28/11/16 03:04 PM
1

how do i really stop thinking about girls How do you really stop thinking about food and drink? You can't, the need to procreate is a fundamental part of the "human experience" as it were. This isn't to say you can't masturbate and gain the sexual release that you need, but you can't give it up completely. You CAN come to an understanding with yourself that chasing girls isn't what you need to focus on right now in life. That's exactly the position I'm in now, I just don't have the time or desir…
/r/seduction23/11/16 06:12 PM
1

It's a combination between having the right attitude yourself and finding the right person. I'm not talking about "the one" or some mysterious shit, I'm talking about finding someone that can laugh at themselves and also has good "inner game" as it's referred to on here. Finding a quality woman is all about finding someone with the same strong mental foundations that you're trying to build. Once you find someone like that then getting them to laugh is easy as long as you enjoy your own jokes. I …
/r/seduction15/11/16 02:47 PM
2

People in the UK aren't freaked out by being approached at all, you just have to be aware of your environment. Back street on a cold day while it's pissing it down? yeah, probably not great I agree. Bus stops can be hit and miss because someone chatting to you when you can't leave kinda makes you feel like a cornered animal sometimes. City centre on a bright sunny day? perfect setting. Usually music playing, plenty people just sitting around, even better if there is a small park or stretch of gr…
/r/seduction17/10/16 12:03 AM
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A good diet, plenty sleep, exercise and spend time regularly doing it so your body adapts. That's for the physical anyway. Remember that "positive energy" doesn't mean throwing yourself around like a 3 year old at a birthday party, you don't have to be active all the time, or even at all. It means you should exude confidence and a pleasant upbeat attitude all night. You've seen some of his infeld right? how much running about does he do? practically none. Even when dancing it's fairly low effort…
/r/seduction16/10/16 03:34 PM
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But is that worth anything now? Resolving this suffering is the whole point behind the idea of freedom from outcome and being "in the moment". You are feeling this way because you had the expectation of it going further than it did. When you expect something and it doesn't happen you suffer a kind of cognitive dissonance where your thoughts don't mesh with reality. This can easily break whatever kind of flow you're in especially if she does a 180 like in this situation. Whereas if you keep that …
/r/seduction10/09/16 10:56 PM
2

Well, since you're new, just have a look at all the stuff in the sidebar. The stuff in the guides section should give you the basics and then practice practice practice. As with every skill, at first you'll feel like you're banging your head against a brick wall. Just remember that this is normal and just take it step by tiny step. This is not going to be a quick process. I have a few decent links that I have saved somewhere that I'll dig out tomorrow if you'd like, for now: the sidebar.
/r/seduction07/09/16 11:09 PM
1

Yeah go ahead mate, I'm happy to help if I can.
/r/seduction05/09/16 10:17 PM
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Right there are two things here that I'd like to comment on. The first is that you're assuming that there is one framework or plan that will work for every girl. That is just not true, you WILL have to change your approach from girl to girl. The only truths are that you should be true to your own emotions and convey them where appropriate and that confidence always helps. Everything else is an optional extra that you throw in as circumstances demand or you just feel like it. Second when I gave t…
/r/seduction05/09/16 03:52 PM
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I'm not sure what 'role' I should play. What character There's your problem, you're trying to play a character. Playing a character is all good and well at first, putting on an acting hat temporarily to put on a short performance can be fun. But you cannot convey genuine deep emotion while pretending to be someone else, simple as that. Imagine having a normal conversation with a friend. Then you say something and your friend does some kind of impersonation or silly voice as a joke to make you bo…
/r/seduction05/09/16 02:29 PM
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Of course you're going to get attatched to people you really enjoy being around, that is human nature. One extremely useful skill pickup teaches is the ability to let go of that feeling when circumstances don't permit or the feeling isn't mutual. Yes it is painful but it is the reality of your situation that you need to move around a lot. It will help prepare you for situations where you experience loss like this that is unexpected. On a more emotional level, think on the old saying "it's better…
/r/seduction05/09/16 01:22 PM
2

As with everything in game, it's only really an issue if you believe it's a issue. If you're insecure about your height it will come across quite plainly and will hurt your chances with everyone. If you're fine with it then it generally becomes a non-issue. Though it will still get commented on either due to a shit test or the fact that they've never seen a guy that wasn't insecure about their height and don't believe it (happened to me a few times). You will find girls who will just flatly refu…
/r/seduction27/08/16 08:40 AM
3

I'm not sure how long you've been looking at pickup stuff but your problem is plain and clear: I have to wonder if this reflects badly on me or not Your whole post reaks of reliance on external validation. Like you can't be happy if the guy next to you doesn't think you're a badass. You know the reason this makes it so painful for you? Because everyone is different. Some people will consider approaching girls the ultimate sin and refuse to associate with you. Some people will think you're god's …
/r/seduction13/08/16 12:20 PM
1

It definitely is not automatic even if you're aroused. If you're not exposed to that kind of behaviour you literally DO NOT KNOW how to express it. I come from having a single mum, somewhat immature friends and rather reserved family members. I didn't know what sexual intent even looked like till well into my first year of uni and I didn't understand what I'd seen till a few days after when I worked it out. I'd agree that being in that kind of sexual state is one of the most natural feelings in …
/r/seduction27/07/16 02:07 AM
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You're overthinking it. You know you are. Is this the only such example that you have experienced? because if so there is just nowhere near enough data for you to be thinking about your method. When something goes wrong in an experiment do people stand around thinking? NO, they do it again and see if the results repeat. You need a pattern of behaviour in order to get an idea of what is wrong, one instance could have any number of random coincidences involved that would heavily skew the results. …
/r/seduction15/07/16 09:06 AM
1

M/21 and I've spent the last year and a half learning tons about relationships and pickup from various sources. At this point I would trust myself MUCH more than I would trust anyone else around me. Though I do still talk to my friends and my mum as a way to work through my own thoughts, I wouldn't trust their advice, at least not blindly. For most other things I would ask either as my mum or one of two close friends for advice. It just happens that dating is one thing that I've spent a LOT of t…
/r/seduction01/08/14 11:28 AM
1

If you're struggling with night game watch this, I watched this just recently and it really is worth it, particularly because he gives demonstations. Though it is a bit long (80 mins) the whole thing is worth a watch with even some verbal tips near the end. The non-verbal stuff will do you a lot of good in game ANY time of the day, so pay attention. How does daygame compare? simply that you're unlikely to fuck them that day, it's much more likely to be a day 2 situation. The reason being that pe…
/r/seduction11/07/14 11:05 AM
22

So basically she believed that wanting sex without intending to get into a relationship first is distasteful behaviour and makes the girl a slut who must be "damaged" in some way. Also that any relationship that starts with sex must be based on sex and is guaranteed to fail or at least be "unhealthy". Is it just me or does that seem a little naive? assuming everyone else follows her morals and ignoring the concept of cognitive bias... Also the willingness to shame other people for not following …
/r/seduction18/06/14 02:38 PM
1

Here's an absolutely ridiculously long list of books for ya. There's plenty books on everything self improvement there, including a specific section for pickup oriented books if you scroll down a bit. Personally I'd recommend watching video content more than anything as the guys delivering it can show you and make you feel the things they are expressing. Much more useful than reading an abstract concept in a book imo. Especially since the delivery and intent is much much MUCH more important than…
/r/seduction18/06/14 01:47 PM
6

But that's not true at all, of course you care whether they like you or not. You should have the social awareness to know if they are reacting badly and either walk away or change your behaviour. You SHOULD care whether they like you or not so you don't waste time having conversations that no-one is getting any benefit from. However whether they like you should have no bearing on YOU as a person. It should have no effect on your confidence or self-esteem or anything about you because it is just …
/r/seduction12/06/14 09:12 PM
2

I just watched a video that gives a couple of good ways to get around this. Hope it helps :)
/r/seduction12/06/14 04:57 PM
9

Try doing things the other way round. Instead of looking for signs for you to move forward, move forward FIRST and watch out for signs to slow down. This will not kill your chances, in fact it will improve them as backing off when she tenses up shows you have some social skills and can read social cues. Obviously, there are exceptions, but this is true in general. If you follow this you can do whatever you feel you want to do and be truly congruent to your feelings. Just always be aware of her b…
/r/seduction08/06/14 12:07 PM
11

Well the easiest solution is to learn to remember names. I always make a show of trying to remember names when I first meet people and apologise in advance that I will probably forget it. I haven't forgotten a name in while because making such a fuss cements it in my memory. But even if I do, I have an excuse already. Another one I like to do is to ask where her name comes from or why her parents gave her that name. If you have a story to associate it with, remembering becomes MUCH easier. I'm a…
/r/seduction08/06/14 11:56 AM
1

I "believe" my youthful appearance is a turn off to girls and guys my own age are obviously way more mature and sophisticated than me This is a self-fulfilling prophecy. By feeling that everyone is superior to you will make you act like you are inferior, because that's how you feel. When in truth, maturity and sophistication have NOTHING to do with appearance. Go look up the definitions if you don't believe me. It's all about attitude. As for your actual appearance for girls, it means VERY littl…
/r/seduction08/06/14 10:42 AM
2

Everyone's different so you do what is congruent to your personality. If you can talk and talk and talk and be really interesting, do that. If you prefer to just lead the conversation but not talk much, then do that. Also it depends on what kinds of girls you're aiming for. Not every girl is going to talk her ass off, no matter what you say. Also not everyone is going to respond to tyler's intensity. However what they are doing gets them the girls THEY want. All they can rely on is the experienc…
/r/seduction07/06/14 04:10 PM
2

Go find groups of people that do the things you like to do, hiking and sports and whatnot. Join those groups, enjoy yourself and make a move on any girls you find interesting. If you have no more girls around you well... that's just unfortunate and the best idea would be to move somewhere where there are more people. Pickup is good and all but you can't pickup people that don't exist, unfortunately. As for your schedule, well sometimes you have to make sacrifices to do the things you want. If yo…
/r/seduction06/06/14 10:39 AM
6

If I'm honest this behaviour doesn't sound any different from some of the stories you hear about the more competitive jobs and careers. There's always going to be some people willing to step on the heads of those below in order to get ahead. Unfortunately, in most situations, this works pretty well. Your only defence is a good boss/supervisor or someone with leverage.
/r/seduction04/06/14 02:35 PM
4

Well I have a fairly "low" sex drive compared to most guys so that probably has something to do with it. I was actually pretty indifferent to getting in a relationship until I got to my second year at university. I didn't have much experience with that kinda thing and with all the mess people around me were making of it I wanted to get a bit of knowledge beforehand. So i discovered pickup. I learned somewhat about why my friends were failing, (mainly due to "bad" mindsets, not knowing what they …
/r/seduction02/06/14 09:16 AM
4

Indeed, that's why pickup has become my favourite set of skills to develop. Not because of the people or the sex, though that's really great. But because of the hobbies and activities it leads me to explore and how much I learn about the world in the process. I'm struggling to think of any goals or crafts as you called it that have so much emphasis on self improvement and discovery (both self and the rest of the world). It makes me really glad to have found this so young so I can take full advan…
/r/seduction02/06/14 08:41 AM
12

I've heard and implemented most of these points but 4 was a eureka moment for me. It explains so much about why I find how I talk boring and why so many other people are interesting. I should have really noticed the overlap between conversation and creative writing, but I just didn't until now. Thank you very much for sharing. I would like to suggest that maybe learning about creative writing and how to write engaging stories would probably help a lot with that skill. Metaphors and expressive la…
/r/seduction02/06/14 08:04 AM
4

My thought when reading Models was that once a girl categorized me, I was there and nothing will change that Well, here's an easy way to answer your question: "when YOU categorise someone, are there things they could do to change that?". When you're talking to someone and getting on well with them, forming an opinion of them, then they reveal they are devoutly religious. Does that not make you re-evaluate them? When you meet up with a girl you haven't met in a while and she has put on loads of w…
/r/seduction29/05/14 11:19 PM
7

You're thinking about this wrong, as in a win/lose scenario. You want to win against her friend, that is not the way you should be thinking. Instead you need to befriend her friend, flirt with her a bit and show her that you're not only harmless, but desirable. If you can show the friend how attractive you are then she'll HELP you get with the girl you're after. Make it so your goal is win/win for everyone. I once had a night where I went out with a couple of friend and two random girls one of m…
/r/seduction29/05/14 12:59 PM
8

I think it really depends what you already have and what situation you are in. Also on what your ultimate goals are and of course your values and beliefs. An immediate example would be: "Learning to juggle multiple girls". I'm sure there are many people that would not want to be bothered with several girls at once. I'd bet most people don't have the time for more than maybe 2 or 3 decent dates a week. That's at most 2 girls at once, I'd hardly call that juggling. Another would be "Saying no to p…
/r/seduction28/05/14 05:42 AM
3

It very much depends where abouts in england they come from tbh. Because everyone in the north feels exactly the same way you do about people from the south. It also doesn't help that the south is where all the money is and so more people with that demeanour are more likely to travel. Obviously that has changed a bit recently with the internet but it's still mostly true considering this change has only been happening for about a decade. If you met anyone from yorkshire or lancashire you would no…
/r/seduction24/05/14 08:02 PM
1

Stop thinking "how should I dance with her?" and start just having fun with it. Start enjoying the event, really get into it, get enthusiastic. Then, talk to the girl, show her your enthusiasm and use it to amplify her fun. Don't give a shit about sexualising or escalating, that stuff comes after. You can even get that done after the event if you need to. You primary goal should be to have as much fun as possible. If she sees you having loads of fun that will make her have more fun and want to s…
/r/seduction24/05/14 07:45 PM
6

What exactly is the "British attitude"?
/r/seduction24/05/14 07:32 PM
3

don't dance alone at clubs Unless you actually like doing it, in which case you should OWN that shit and make it work for you. those people are laughing at you Also, there's nothing wrong with people laughing at you if you're also laughing at yourself. It's only a problem if you feel that being laughed at is a negative thing and it hits your self-esteem. In which case I think you need to work on some self improvement or "inner game" as the buzzword is. It's all linked into basing your self estee…
/r/seduction24/05/14 07:30 PM
4

The thing is, when you think you're treating her the worst, she thinks you're just treating her with the respect she deserves. It's all about treating people as they want to be treated, not as YOU want to treat them.
/r/seduction21/05/14 10:58 PM
16

"get over here" ... ^<sup>sorry...</sup>
/r/seduction21/05/14 05:05 AM
1

Think of it this way. An unstable girl is likely to define herself by how wanted she feels by other people, by other peoples opinions of her. Therefore any guy trying to pick her up will probably have more success because she craves that attention, just as maybe you once did or still do from time to time. She'll be less focussed on finding a good match and instead finding a boyfriend that she won't be judged for or maybe have random sex. A more well adjusted girl WILL be harder to pick up becaus…
/r/seduction18/05/14 06:07 PM
8

However, you seem to lose so much agency without that gaming mindset I don't think you quite understand what love really is. Love is not devoting yourself to a person to the point where they control your every action. Not only is that stupid, it's a surefire way to push the person out of your life. Love is about caring about the other person's happiness in a big way. Maybe even as much as your happiness. But that doesn't limit your agency, you can still choose whatever actions you want. You just…
/r/seduction13/05/14 05:28 PM
7

I prefer my penis
/r/seduction10/05/14 04:03 AM
1

Not only that but beliefs that "worked" for everyone you ever talked to. You are literally living proof that them beliefs worked for your parents.
/r/seduction09/05/14 07:10 PM
2

people assume I'm either lying about wealth when I mention it or I'm hiding something dark. Question: why the hell do you even mention your wealth? I literally just watched something about this topic (if that doesn't link properly the bit I mean is at 11:50). No-one gives a fuck about wealth as long as you earn enough money for YOU to be happy. You need to work on expressing the fact that you are a guy with the capability to be successful. It's not material that counts, it's potential. That was …
/r/seduction08/05/14 10:58 PM
2

The dilemma for me now is how to balance maintaining attraction and not putting her on a pedestal, while still showing her I am sorry. Once you wrong someone you care about, it's hard to keep thinking that "she's lucky to be with me because I'm awesome". You're getting WAY ahead of yourself here. Have you even talked to her and explained what has gone on? your best option is to be "congruent" and just explain your feelings calmly and clearly. Show her exactly how shitty you think your own action…
/r/seduction07/05/14 06:51 PM
3

Keep the conversation simple and expect to have to repeat yourself a lot. I mean a LOT. You'll either find it very cute or very, VERY irritating. I hope for your sake it's the former. It would probably be better to go on a date where you are both doing something so that a lack of conversation isn't too awkward. I like dancing or skating or something like that for these situations. Don't forget to teach her things. She's here to learn already and no doubt she'll love to learn stuff from the hot g…
/r/seduction07/05/14 04:51 PM
18

I think you're missing the point a little bit here. If you hurt a girl that much, you're probably pretty close and in a relationship. Do you really think you have to maintain control every second of the day? that says to me that you're insecure about whether she is attracted to you. You're in a relationship, you've both decided you like each other, it's fine to let her take control sometimes. As for how to react to hurting her feelings in a big way, what do you think the proper reaction should b…
/r/seduction07/05/14 11:35 AM
4

I wouldn't go so far as to say mental problems, but he definitely set a precedent of playing games by "negging" (seriously, who the fuck uses them terms?), which she continued into playing games with the concept of "rape". The lesson? if ya wanna have honest, straightforward communication in the bedroom you have to have honest, straightforward conversation outside of it, simple.
/r/seduction10/04/14 04:42 PM
2

How about if I wrap it in some Aluminium foil?
/r/seduction10/04/14 09:53 AM
2

I'm sorry, I'll try and use more colourful language next time (how'd I do?)
/r/seduction10/04/14 06:33 AM
4

I think it depends on the setting, in a college/university atmosphere it is REALLY effective. As a guy who naturally slips into quite a childish mood on occasion, I have done this exact thing more than once. You just have to "calibrate" to the mood of the venue. It's pretty much useless outside of a student bar/club environment though, and even then it only seems right in the really crappy and overwhelmingly cheesy places. To act like that in any serious venue (with a stranger) does indeed reek …
/r/seduction09/04/14 08:39 PM
2

it's still quite relevant, OP did ask for books related to improving yourself in general, not pickup oriented stuff. What did you think of it btw? I'm thinking of reading it myself.
/r/seduction09/04/14 01:15 AM
0

Yeah, if you ever find yourself struggling with office or business politics, definitely give it a re-read. There is some really good advice in there, especially in the WIN/WIN chapter.
/r/seduction09/04/14 12:47 AM
5

Probably because I relate to the way it is explained. It is well structured and he gives a general but detailed way of creating and implementing good habits. Not only that but he covers many different ways of thought, not just the one he thinks is best and shows how they contrast and why. Also, the explanation of many of the concepts have stuck in my head from first glance, especially the emotional bank account and the table of important vs urgent tasks. Also, the all important WIN/WIN, that con…
/r/seduction09/04/14 12:44 AM
3

oh yeah, I agree, it is a MUCH heavier read. But it also contains a lot more detail and a has a lot more structure. But that's just my opinion, odds are it just appeals more to the way I think. EDIT: it also comes from a more relatable point of view. By this I mean that Models comes from a pickup perspective, Eckhart Tolle is from a rather spiritual perspective whereas 7 habits is from a more "normal person" perspective, if there is such a thing.
/r/seduction08/04/14 10:04 PM
35

7 Habits of Highly Effective People is by far the best self improvement book I've ever read. With Models and How to Win Friends and Influence People second and third.
/r/seduction08/04/14 08:14 PM
1

If I noticed it, yes. I would point out the problem in as sensitive and empathetic way as possible and maybe talk with her a bit about it if she's open to it. I quite like talking about this stuff so that's just my personality coming out. If she explodes, she explodes, tis no skin off my back. But often she isn't to be blamed for the situation so she deserves none of the scorn the case 1 or 2 might bring about. Case 3 may be showing some immaturity, but she's not intentionally hurting people wit…
/r/seduction05/04/14 05:15 PM
1

There is a case 3 which is that she has some genuine cognitive dissonance going on. Either from the conflicting views of what society expects and what she has in front of her (conflicting because she LIKES what's in front of her). Or from some other strange belief that she has yet to resolve with reality. This happens more with younger, less self-aware women mostly, but also with people who have gone through bad break-ups. For example: "Awww he has a cute dimple when he smiles. My ex had a cute …
/r/seduction05/04/14 04:53 PM
1

Well obviously you can help with isolating the guys she wants to speak to and introducing her into sets she might otherwise avoid. But the biggest thing you could do is tell her when the guy is actually into her, let her know how things are going from your point of view if you can. The biggest problem for pretty much anyone is leaving a set too early because they're discouraged, this applies to women too. Help her to relax, get her to have fun, help her approach sets and stop her from leaving a …
/r/seduction31/03/14 12:25 PM
0

In terms of pickup is generally doesn't make much difference. No matter what your height, relatively calm but assertive is the best way to go most of the time. I would say, though, that taller guys are much more intimidating if they try to be agressive. I'm not necessarily sure a short guy can get away with more, aggressive is aggressive after all, but a tall guy will usually get a stronger response.
/r/seduction30/03/14 12:25 PM
3

The fear of (or anxiety preventing you from) doing something is FAR more powerful and painful than almost any possible consequence of act itself.
/r/seduction30/03/14 03:24 AM
3

I don't mean to butt in but I'd like to add my answer to this. For a bit of background, I'm studying maths/physics at uni, so I have quite a logical way of thinking most of the time. But logic does not mean strategy and tactics, it means drawing conclusions from presumed truths (not a book definition but good enough). I see social interactions in a similar way to a physical interaction. Not in that there is maths involved, but that there are fundamental principles that determine how that interac…
/r/seduction25/03/14 02:14 PM
3

But that's the whole point with teaching, the concept are often years if not decades or even centuries old. The innovation is in the delivery, which is something that (at least in my opinion) you do well.
/r/seduction15/03/14 11:35 PM
8

Thank you very much for this I know this isn't constructive criticism (and therefore is pointless) but I have to say I really like the way you explain things. You explain these concepts so simply and matter-of-fact...ly that I've never had to re-read anything because I didn't understand it. Only because I've wanted to memorise the exact phrasing in order to remember it and pass it on. Keep up the great work :)
/r/seduction15/03/14 11:08 PM
2

You don't need to? pretty sure that's why phone contact lists were invented...
/r/seduction13/03/14 05:05 AM
5

This is gonna be one of them running gags that just never goes away isn't it?
/r/seduction13/03/14 05:02 AM
2

nah, you just crash in a mate's room after a night out. Or stay up until the first train/bus in the morning. One of my mates commutes and he doesn't let it stop him, all it takes is to ask to borrow a couch for the night.
/r/seduction10/03/14 11:57 PM
2

Like /u/ImJustAMan said it's normal for people to move out after the first year or two. In most english cities this is encouraged due to lack of hall/dorm space. But you can have a party in a dorm easily enough, and if not, you just get yourself invited to a house party. It's surprisingly easy to do, every other person you meet usually knows a guy whos having a house party that weekend.
/r/seduction10/03/14 08:33 PM
4

Unless you're at uni/college, Then 50:50 is a more reasonable ratio, assuming you embrace that side of student life. House parties are AWESOME for pickup.
/r/seduction10/03/14 07:29 PM
7

Yeah, there are always variations depending on where you live and whether you encounter that random A-hole. But to live in fear of that rather uncommon occurance is just silly. Also see the edit, in a rougher area YMMV.
/r/seduction24/02/14 09:44 PM
54

Here are my personal rules for eye contact: Do this with everyone Every gender and age, you wanna get used to eye contact with EVERYONE. When walking down the street, attempt to make eye contact with anyone walking towards you. I mean look into their eyes for at least a couple of second even if they're looking away. If they don't make eye contact, cool, just keep walking. If they do make eye contact, you need to acknowledge it. You don't have to do anything in particular, though smiling or a nod…
/r/seduction24/02/14 07:52 PM
2

I don't think you understand. "sexy" and "cheesy" are completely relative terms. One girls attractive could be another's cheesy could be another's completely innapropriate. How you dress matters very little. As long as it is appropriate for the social occasion and you have good standards of hygiene, no-one cares. So wear what you like. Wear what you feel is "you". Express your sexuality in a way you feel comfortable, but be proud of it. don't try and conform to another person's opinion of sexy.
/r/seduction20/02/14 06:18 PM
3

I can't decide whether I want to be quite nice, or just very filthy and get a high chance of getting a slap in the face This is something you don't plan for, you can't decide beforehand. Just go with whatever you feel like doing at the time. If you feel really horny and wanna stretch things a bit, do it. If you are feeling a little lower in energy and just wanna have a nice conversation then do that. Yes there is a lot of advice that you should force yourself to do this or that. But that's becau…
/r/seduction20/02/14 04:47 PM
2

He actually just put up a video on this exact subject. The point is that you should be open to new experiences. Instead of fearing whatever is coming, just be open to experiencing something new. If you're stuck on little things like the "I have a boyfriend" thing, then you need to work on your own beliefs a bit. Would you date a girl with a boyfriend? would you date a girl that lied about having a boyfriend, whatever the reason? if so, explore your thoughts and draw your own boundaries. Remember…
/r/seduction20/02/14 04:18 PM
6

Stop worrying about how "psyched up" you are and just do it. This obsession with being amped up for every interaction is silly. It's almost like you're using it as a crutch, just like alcohol or that shirt you were complimented on. Sure, you may get better results when you get into the social flow and have loosened up a bit. But to get in that state you need to talk to people. If you feel you need to be in that state to talk to people, you'll never talk to anyone, ever. I mean seriously, you're …
/r/seduction20/02/14 03:41 PM
9

Pretty much. But "be a man" isn't great advice unless you know what someone means by it, in which case you don't actually need to ask for advice... Also, I'm terrible at explaining things.
/r/seduction11/02/14 05:57 PM
44

Honestly, just fucking do it. your problem is lack of reference experience, simple as that and the longer you wait, the harder it will be. Just lower your expectations. You know that once you've done it once you'll be just fine right? once you have that first experience then most of this will go away. So you just have to push through it, just like your first approach. In fact, this is almost exactly like your first approaches don't you think? do you not remember standing there in a club like a d…
/r/seduction11/02/14 04:19 PM
4

in my mind down suggests submissive whereas sideways suggests dismissive (though this is not at all a definite rule). But either way, she was still looking at you, why not go and find out by talking to her?
/r/seduction09/02/14 10:44 PM
2

Setting closes as goals is silly because there are so many random factors associated, not to mention that it is outcome-dependant, that it is a waste of time. Appraching however is something you CAN control and as such is a goal you can put a number on. Also, obviously just approaching doesn't have to have a dependance on a certain outcome. You can approach for a variety of reasons, or for no reason other than you just want to talk to them (which is how I usually think). Your goals should NEVER …
/r/seduction06/02/14 11:58 AM
1

I don't think there is much of a point other than "your excuses are ridiculous" (at least that's all I took from it). He definitely goes on for a bit too long, but I find him entertaining enough that it doesn't bother me. He milks them because of what he says at about 16:30. He's overusing them to try and train your mind into thinking that way. Not sure if that's a good or bad thing, but that's my reasoning behind it.
/r/seduction04/02/14 12:34 AM
6

Yeah, that's one I've recommended to quite a few people, definitely an eye opener. His description of what a rape fantasy really means has really stuck with me. This one was literally a life changer for me. Since I watched it, whatever i'm doing, whether it's going out or programming or thinking about washing up. Whenever I make excuses I just hear them in that voice and I just crack up and get on with it. Helps SO much because it's almost impossible for me to become bitter about anything, I'm t…
/r/seduction03/02/14 12:25 PM
8

Don't forget his free tour videos. A lot of them free tour rants are really, really good.
/r/seduction03/02/14 11:14 AM
14

Walking away from something that I don't want is powerful But you DID want it, you DID want her, you said so yourself. You just didn't know how to make it work so you had a tantrum and told her to fuck off. I'm not saying walking away was a bad idea, but you did it for the wrong reasons. Girls always know. They have this thing called "a woman's intuition If you were talking about girls in their thirties or maybe late twenties I MAY have conceded that you have a point. But I'm guessing she was 18…
/r/seduction26/01/14 02:12 PM
5

Vsauce video on yawning. Thought you guys might find it interesting
/r/seduction24/01/14 12:20 AM
1

It obviously helps for logistics purposes but it isn't necessary to have a car OR your own place. For example in college I'd imagine most girls are in dorms (or whatever you call your student accomodation) so you could just go to her place instead (try and get invited to the parties in the dorms, they'll probably be your best bet). This is often pretty ideal as the nightlife will probably be pretty close to the student accomodation. A car is only used to go places, a taxi is a perfectly acceptab…
/r/seduction22/01/14 12:11 AM
2

No offense but I wouldn't trust any statistics unless I know the sample size and age range AT THE VERY LEAST. Even then I'd prefer it to be broken down into what they do for a living, areas they live in etc. to actually be able to trust it. By then the sample size would probably so small as to be practically useless. Hence statistics in this situation are pointless.
/r/seduction18/01/14 03:30 AM
1

From what I've read I'm not really sure about NLP, but ignoring that, your advice is gold. At the very least it makes it very awkward for them to not be really nice to you, even if they're seething with hatred inside. It also accelerates the process for them of deciding whether they like you or not, which is always a good thing. Also any person that isn't wrapped up in insecurities will probably treat you with much more respect (I say probably because, you know, people) even if they dislike your…
/r/seduction12/01/14 10:03 PM
2

it's important to emphasize that distinction otherwise you might encourage people to start worrying about whether someone likes them or not. Always assume you're talking to a beginner unless given evidence otherwise.
/r/seduction12/01/14 08:03 PM
2

We're talking college parties here, there is ALWAYS someone you don't like there. I have literally never been to a party where I get on well with every single person. Just cos the host of the party likes you doesn't mean his friends will.
/r/seduction12/01/14 08:00 PM
1

when everyone likes you I hate to butt in on such good advice but there will almost never be a situation in which everyone likes you. If they do I'd wonder whether you're actually expressing yourself or just acting how you think they want you to act.
/r/seduction12/01/14 06:20 PM
6

I'm not saying I don't want to approach girls in class. I'm asking HOW. Literally same as normal daygame. Go up, say hi, talk, escalate slightly, get number. Or whatever your personal style is. All people do in college is pay attention to social labels. The 16 people I lived with last year would beg to differ. It's just a case of finding them friends who aren't so shallow and tangled up in their insecurities. It takes time, I've got pretty lucky so far, but these kinds of people do exist. I'm at…
/r/seduction12/01/14 05:31 PM
12

but if you don't try you'll never get a chance with ANY of them. Imo, if someone is willing to think you a creepy pervert because you have the balls to approach a girl, they aren't worth hanging around anyway. Trust me, any decent, socially aware people won't pay attention to these social labels, they'll just accept you as you are.
/r/seduction12/01/14 05:17 PM
25

Exactly. Sounds like you're really worried about your friends finding out about the fact that you're flirting with people. I've gotta ask, why? are you so ashamed by the fact that you're actually trying to make an effort to improve your love life? If anyone gives you any shit it'll be out of jealousy because they're too afraid to do what you do.
/r/seduction12/01/14 04:25 PM
4

Money is a MASSIVE one for many in terms of interacting with women, just from social conditioning. At least half the people I know think they NEED money to have any chance at a decent relationship. Being at uni, that kind of misconception is everywhere. Of course this doesn't come up much in conversation, people just assume that you also feel the same way. I know a few people that are aiming for high paid jobs for the reason of women. But they would never admit it publicly (not quite sure why th…
/r/seduction09/01/14 06:24 PM
5

All I can say is yes, yes people can. Especially if you've been hit by some kind of depression. Once (if) you finally recover from it you realise you're now WAY behind everyone your own age, the amount of insecurities that simple fact can create is amazing. That and many insecurities are "inherited" from the people you hang around or parents etc. If ya don't have these problems then count yourself lucky and don't worry about it. The fact that you haven't noticed these things in other people is a…
/r/seduction09/01/14 04:48 PM
0

Why are you wanting to talk to her? If you have no reason for talking to her other than approaching (I mean that in the most literal sense of just walking up to someone) then you aint gonna have anything to say. Be interested in her life. Are you not curious about how other people live their lives? Do you not wonder what she does at the weekends? Do you not wonder what kind of job she has? Do you not wonder whether she thinks Alsatians are fucking terrifying? The best way to make conversation is…
/r/seduction06/01/14 04:56 PM
11

do I sense a new years resolution coming on?
/r/seduction01/01/14 11:12 PM
1

Models by Mark Manson. By far the best "pickup" book I've read. He agrees with the idea of your post and the whole book is built around the concept of being interesting to yourself and then expressing it. Also tries to explain what often happens (or what has happened in his experience) trying other methods. If you haven't yet, it's definitely worth a read. It's not one of these "10 quick steps" pieces of crap, it's an honest representation of the dating world from the eyes of a guy with experien…
/r/seduction29/12/13 07:37 PM
2

I like kdelamont's Idea of timetabling things and this seems like a good opportunity for these ideas. Maybe designate a day to FRs that were just bizzare, either in location or in that they did some crazy stuff that was way outside the social norms. Dunno what kind of hell it would be for the moderators, or whether there would be any posts that were actually true, but it's definitely worth a think about. The off the wall posts (the true ones) that demonstrate how acting out of the social norms, …
/r/seduction26/12/13 02:50 AM
3

I'd say that remember you are there to have fun and let her share your fun, but not at the cost of your own. If you really enjoy dancing properly and toning it down would lessen your fun, just keep at it till you find someone who isn't so self conscious about themselves. Someone who can appreciate the fun you're having and join your vibe without feeling too intimidated. Otherwise you can always just start dancing in a really weird way, try your best to make a fool of yourself, that should help a…
/r/seduction14/12/13 01:35 PM
1

do you think it is perceived as a bad thing? or just as a thing? like someone who has been a vegetarian their whole life, for example.
/r/seduction08/12/13 03:11 PM
3

it's just the same as appearance and, well, game itself. A lack of confidence due to lack of reference experience. I think it lumps into the general attitude of it's only a problem if you think it is. I don't actually know of anyone who believes being a virgin is anything bad or that they would avoid sex with someone if they found out they were a virgin. I just remembered there was a recent discussion about virginity here.
/r/seduction08/12/13 03:04 PM
2

My strategy is to prepare myself mentally. If I know that this night out is going to happen I accept that I'm going to be there all night. I accept that It's gonna take a bit of effort to keep the vibe going but if I do I'm going to really enjoy it. So I just commit myself to being there to the end and doing my best to have as much fun a possible. I find that committing to it a few days before and knowing it's going to happen somehow prevents me flagging quite as much at the end of a night. I al…
/r/seduction05/12/13 04:04 PM
1

I don't think it's quite as black and white as that, you don't have to go to a loud club if you don't like it, I find plenty girls going to quieter bars instead. I agree you may have to be a bit more resourceful with certain male dominated hobbies though. Even though I'm at uni living in a student area, if I didn't do anything other than go to my societies I would see very few girls. The girls I do see I'm either not attracted to or are in relationships (even in lectures, damned physematics). I'…
/r/seduction24/11/13 04:41 PM
2

Many people don't suffer from low "self-esteem", they suffer from an inability to relate to any perspective aside from their own As do the people that assume it is low self-esteem. Thank you for putting into words something I've struggled to articulate for years.
/r/seduction22/11/13 02:32 PM
You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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