My dry spell after my last breakup in 2015 (47 years old), lasted until 2018 (got laid), but I never managed to get another girlfriend. Basically dry spell was 2015-2020 then I gave up. Zero interest show by some since
I did. At 47 years old in 2020. Had a string of bad luck, decided it’s not worth it, best decision ever. Zero relationship bs. Sex? Well I’m used to not having sex with some I’d want to have sex with so, no changes there. It gets easier. Eventually you start to see everyone experiencing relationship issues as nave about the world.
Yep. Gave up trying in 2020. Only way I’d have sex now or “try” for it - is if a woman absolutely threw herself at me sexually. Otherwise, can’t be bothered with all that hassle and anxiety.
I don’t. Meaning I gave up in frustration for good in 2020 after five years zero luck since my last breakup in 2015. Not worth the hassle just to end up in pain
True. And those houses probably stink anyway. First scenario (cat lady): All that cat urine even with litter boxes. Second scenario: (neckbeard): All that sweat lol
Yes. I’ve learned my lesson. I’ve had women send me topless shots and leg shots and one who made plans to fool around and stood me up. I’m simply done. I mean even if sending shots of yourself leads to a “bye”, then ef thinking anything is even close to a hint.
Yes. People forget this. THEY give up the technology behind it but that doesn’t mean the other person still doesn’t have a thousand options literally in their back pocket.
I don’t want women my own age because I quit dating first and foremost but also aren’t attracted to women in their 40s/50s who look their stated age. Then again, no judgement. I expect the same treatment and I don’t complain about it. Single since 2015, last sex 2018, gave up, 2020, stress left same day 2020 lol but true asf
I’m that guy in your first paragraph lol. I gave up at 47 in 2020 after being single since 2015. No one’s shown interest. Cept my fat direct supervisor who left my job and then tried to hook up with me. Nope lol. No thanks.
When people in these online spaces discuss declining birth rates, it’s usually actually just a thinly-veiled complaint about their own “not getting laid” rates lmao. At least this take is different
Yeah but he didn’t have to be friends with her. Thankfully I’m not attracted to any of my women friends. Annnnnd, I simply refuse to make new woman friends who I’d be attracted to. Simple. I’m never gonna choose anxiety
I often read this sub before bed to relax lol and I’m always floored at the specialized vocab. I frequently want to make a list and go around and ask coworkers and friends if they’ve ever heard-of or used these terms. 😂
If you are thinking this way, maybe you should seriously consider ending things. What’s next? Think about trips to the hardware store when you need cement. Or bags of dirt. Or groceries lol
I have many wonderful woman in my life. Family, platonic friends, and coworkers. Would I trust any of them (well, not family) if I were in a relationship with them? Not one bit. Relationships change people. Usually not for the better. Way too much hassle. Even texting anxiety begins immediately. No thank you
All these posts about the intent of women. Lmao. I mean, I don’t really study in-depth the arguments presented here on PPD but one thing g that comes back over and over and over is this honestly very weird idea that women do this “stuff” in a malicious or planning manner with other women who are somehow subconsciously involved in the scheme. Lmao. Like, I guess some stuff happens that men complain about here but like, this sense that it’s somehow plotted or planned NEVER EVER EVER ceases to amaz…
Idk man but the fact that anyone can do a 180 at any time, no matter how long things have gone well, has really turned me off from dating again forever.
I really find it funny how posters seem to think it’s either intentional, or at worst, some idea that women are working-together intentionally to create dating woes. I read that all the time and it’s hilarious. Oh! The best one is when I read about the concern from chronically online men about dropping birth rates. Lmao. More like dropping “getting-laid” rates. So funny
Yes. Guys always say all women have to do to date or have sex is “just exist” and here is someone actually saying she was sitting there, “existing in public” - and it worked! Wow! I went to a coffee shop is a small local “urban” artsy area and sat there for hours at a time. And read. No woman EVER EVER, EVER came up to me to strike up a conversation. Not once. Zilch. Zero. And we’re talking my going there at least 3x a week at night and on weekends in a very artsy kinda local Main Street shoppin…
If my grandfather hadn’t worn my grandmother down by repeated visits and refusing to take “No” (because of the Great Depression) when he proposed, I wouldn’t be here today. Working woken down being thirsty worked then I suppose.
I’d only have sex if a woman downright threw herself at me. I’m putting zero effort into it. I’m pretty used to being single and not getting sex anyway being a dude so it’s not like I’m really losing anything lol
I quietly essentially went “monk” in 2020 but never phrase it that way. Or post about it. There was no reason for my family or coworkers or social media to know. Zero major announcements except to close friends. I guess I’m the silent minority according to this post.
I’m 52 and I work with co-ed adolescents as my 9-5. I hear enough of their stuff at work to want to come home and hear the same stuff from someone only slightly older lol.
Haha! Right?! 😂 All the Reddit-centric buzzwords. I almost asked someone the other day if they were blue pilled or red pilled or black pilled just for shits and giggles. But I didn’t due to not wanting to seem too weird lol
I didn’t allow fear, but more like radical acceptance, to seep in and that affected my ultimate decision to give up trying ever again in 2020 at 47 years old. I have achieved Zen, enlightenment, and Nirvana. Not kidding. It’s awesome
Romantic and sexual relationships are actually the most fragile things in the universe if you really think about it. Like look how strong they go before someone ends it over something a family member could eventually get over.
And the CRUSHING INEVITABILITY of an ENTIRE POPULATION COLLAPSE bringing us was back to the Stone Age or earlier - because men posting here aren’t getting dicks wet. 😂
In my experience, since I don’t interact with women in any kind of flirtatious manner at work, many women genuinely just assume I’m gay. Lol. Doesn’t matter. I don’t shit where I eat anyway
Thank you. I am in the first group. It is fascinating when people go to great lengths on Reddit to explain such a choice. Like who cares lol. I made a choice for me. Doesn’t matter if women who I don’t plan on interacting with romantically or sexually ever know. As long as I do. I can guarantee I’m not on their radars lol
Nah. It just feels like such a gift and a blessing. Like I’ve unlocked a secret to life itself. It’s not required! And if you know it will never work, why bother! Accept it and enjoy life while watching the bs play out around you. It’s amazing!🤘🏼 I’m like the Johnny Appleseed of giving up lol because no one really considers the positives and I feel I can at least be one person who can report success.
Well, it didn’t make the thoughts go away. I had to train myself to not engage in sexual fantasies when I saw a woman I found attractive. Weirdly it trained my neurotransmitters and now I just forget attractive women less than 5 minutes after I see them. Seriously. It takes dedication. That being said, when I made the decision to stop, it was like such a revelation that the pink cloud lasted a long time. Thing is, I always stress that I was/am convinced that no relationship - whether romantic or…
Yeah I got you. But. It’s weird. I even found it strange the thoughts continued. But I guess it’s simply the human condition, man. I actually have given that much thought. It seems that after five years I’ve learned that either way, given up or not, one ponders romantic and sexual relationships always. It’s apparently ingrained lol
I hate to say it but I only see the growing divide in online spaces. No one I know knows what black/blue/red/tan pills, SMV, 666, simp, in*el, beta anything are…or who Chad is. If I ever mentioned my secret Reddit interest with these words, they’d simply be confused. All this nonsense seems to be from people who are chronically online.
I get that but it can be soooooo refreshing to just give up the game and really give no more shits about any of it. The stress literally immediately melts away.
I simply gave up dating for good in 2020 when it all became too overwhelming. Best decision ever. But I was also convinced at that point that it would never work out. So there was that. In any case, best of luck to you friend.
I did. I’ll only have sex if someone offers it. Which hasn’t happened since I made this choice in 2020. Oh well. Still a less stressful life in many ways.
Just give up man. I did it in 2020 (granted I was older at 47) but it was honestly the best decision ever! I accepted my fate and it felt so freeing! Still now, almost five years later, it feels so great to read all this stuff and watch it unfold IRL around me and just know I am not dealing with all that. It’s awesome.
I gave-up/stopped trying in 2020 at 47. Totally my choice and I’m happy and never have regretted it. Still…How many women have shown interest or tried to chase me since? 😂 um, zero. Duly noted lol
Destroyed my last relationship in 2015 because she said “I could never calm down”. Meanwhile here I was, trying to keep the spark alive. She got tired of my trying to keep the NRE. Just my experience
So you’re saying, if I follow, that it should be easier to just have sex and be able to request it more casually, therefore cutting through any bs, while doing so? I also wish it were that easy. Society simply wouldn’t allow that.
Hahaha! Every term on this sub is stupid. I come here for my nightly before bed entertainment. I’ve legit never ever ever heard anyone outside of Reddit speak in these ridiculous and hilarious terms. 🤣🤣😂
Idk. I’m an HSP and kinda ASD. So I take everything with a lot of emotion and get caught up in literals. To me, the idea of actually being inside a woman’s body itself is pretty transcendent and mind blowing. Especially watching them get off on it
Train yourself to not fantasize when you see women you find attractive until it becomes habit and you find yourself forgetting about them within five minutes. After I gave up I was still plagued by sexual fantasies when I saw a woman I was attracted to. So realizing that would always be a problem, I thought up the above method to keep such thoughts at bay. It’s habit now. I bet it’s similar to what monks or anyone really who’s celibate by choice anyway does. Best of luck and keep us posted pleas…
See? This is me. You’re right. It’s wicked easy to be okay being alone and just keep quiet about it. When people make posts about it, it makes me wonder if they’re genuinely okay with the idea.
Interesting take. Like a conspiracy of some sort? Sorry. Couldn’t think of another word. But a concentrated effort to spread disinformation? I’d love to hear examples of the media angle. Not being sarcastic. It’s an interesting take. Thank you. 🤘🏼
Like me! 😀 52, therapist, don’t drink, live cats, have an apartment below my mother’s apartment in the house we own. Women find me very unappealing in New England. Despite being told lifelong about my good youthful looks etc. it’s a joke. 🤣😂
After I decided for good and for real to quit trying for dates or romance or sex, fantasies plagued me. I literally decided to train my brain to not fantasize. It’s possible. Now I can literally forget and attractive woman that catches my eye within three minutes. It’s kind of sad but if you need to do it, it can be self trained and effective.
I did this in 2020. Found complete peace. It’s amazing watching all the bs I fold from the outside once you’ve removed yourself from that part of society. 🤘🏼
Lol did that study or survey or whatever really find it that “astonishing” that 50% of women were able to form relationships with their male friends? Lmao. They mean “50% of women CHOSE relationships with their male friends” lmao 😂
Well, I’m 52 and I can safely say my grandfather yes, my father, yes; myself, yes - literally until online dating began. I was born in ‘72 and spent my 20s in the 90s. Saw it ALL unfold. Thankfully I saw the writing on the wall and left the apps completely in 2019. My app-run was Dec. 2016-Nov. 2019.
real question. How does the women you speak of’s opinion of man bs bear affect your daily life? Not being sarcastic. Looking for information. Thank you.
I haven’t heard about this discourse I a while. I simply thought people got bored with it/forgot and are ready for the new male vs female online battle lmao
Oh! I have some feminine qualities and mannerisms. Have been married. Have had gfs. Have been asked since my 20s if I’m gay. I’m not. And I’m 52 now and work with teens and they still ask me.
Haha yeah. Any kind of “proving my point” to anyone wasn’t even a thought. The idea just occurred to me during a long rut and I ran with it, immediately felt excited about it, kept it going, and found it, if not better, then at least the lesser of two evils.
“Meanwhile, even though AI is getting exponentially better, the modern dating scene is getting exponentially worse. The systemic misandry in the west is only reaching new heights day by day, and modern women are becoming increasingly narcissistic and entitled. The standards and expectations on men are only becoming higher, while western women are becoming worse and worse. “ My dude, just give up on dating or sex ever again and completely remove yourself from that part of society. I did. It works…
Oh yeah. I’m the exact same. American women and American manly men look down upon guys like us. Sad truth. I’ve accepted it. I love my weird little life
Oh I gave up on romance and sex completely four years ago. Life is amazingly easier watching all this from the sidelines. It IS possible to remove yourself from this part of society.
Wait until you see the posts about concerns of population decline. Omg the mental gymnastics they employ to convince others it’s not about getting laid lmao
Guy just wrote “af/bb theory”. 😂 Is it really worth arguing when someone is so attached to non-reality-based jargon? Alpha, beta, pills or various colors, 4b, chads and normies, life on “easy mode”. Few could relate
I divorced my wife over this. Yeah I was not seen as a hero. But the lack of sexual attraction was causing me to not act like a husband acts toward his wife. My inclination toward such gestures left. I couldn’t help it. Know though, if you take action, you’ll save your sanity but will be judged for a few years lol
Exactly. I was wicked frustrated with it all too. So I simply stepped away from that part of life in 2020. I’m not trying to date etc and it’s been wonderfully simple being alone
Yeahhhhh I get it BUT devil’s advocate: You’re not exactly meeting “like with like”. A more fair retort may be “how tall are YOU?” It doesn’t seem women are asking your dick size; requiring an equally blunt question. Just my two cents.
There is a new car commercial where a guy asks if a some animal is a bear or something and the wife says honey that’s a cow (or something). Way to make men look stupid.
Yeah. Escorts don’t seem so bad now. But it’s a tough moral choice for me. Even thinking I could contribute to some woman having a shitty life doesn’t sit well. And you can’t take back that first escort time and then have to live with that. But still……..😂
I am 52 and gave up on dating/sex/romance in 2020 based on how bad that already is in America. I’ve been tapped out. Zero current concerns. I’ve been done.
Had sex once since 2015 and that was in 2018. Gave up completely for any romance or sex in 2020. Was not disappointed with the universe as it proved me correct and no woman showed interest. As you know, many or most will never approach. Many women will remain single forever for lack of approaching men.
It’s easy enough to take yourself out of the game and simply remove yourself from this part of society. It’s fun! Then you do t have to even think about any of this stuff ever ever again! 😀🤘🏼
Trick is to not have friends you are attracted to. I have three female friends. Two are married. One is my age. But actually the opposite of attraction to any of them for me. Wouldn’t ever want to date them if they were single. Hot friends make issues
Oh I totally believe other men do. I know it sounds like a shit thing for me to say. The only reason I’m bold enough to say it is because I truly think that women in my area (southeastern New England) don’t find see over 40 as an option. I get it. I’m not a hypocrite or try not to be. I fully expect that women have felt the same about me since 40. It’s all good. It’s my own warped shit. 🤷🏻♂️
Holy fuck. I gave up for good in 2020 and likely will remain so. But. Wow. This is the only argument against that plan that I’ve ever heard that has made sense to me. Thanks for that insight. I screenshot it. 🤘🏼 You Rock. (And funny cuz at first “rock” typoed to “dick” lol)
This one one guy I work with. Tries to wear down every single woman his age who works there. Like religiously. Thinks it’s a secret but the women talk lol. Anyway he finally wore down the right woman and they’ve been together for almost a year now. Pathetic. (Edit: grammar)
As a 51 year old (52 in July) I concur. I knew the game was up when I got divorced and then turned 40 that year. I was blessed to have a wicked hot relationship with someone I knew as an acquaintance (who ended up having Borderline Personality Disorder and likely Bipolar Disorder) that crashed and burned, I did the online thing, was lucky enough (because it is all luck 1000%) to have sex in 2018; which I am assuming will be my last time. But. I’m not a hypocrite. I never wanted to be trying to d…
🤣 My then-wife came home once and saw red dots on the bed from the jello and thought it was blood and I had to think quick and said I had been eating jello in bed. 🤣
Lol. I LOVE the “plummeting birth-rate prophets”. It’s like taking it soooooo far when the real issue is likely getting laid themselves. The level of mental gymnastics to convince oneself they are concerned about the birth rate while also super horny amazes me.
I read once on a thread about men showing emotions. Some guy said his dad died and he cried and his wife couldn’t tolerate it and ended their relationship soon after. Harsh
I went to a baseball game recently. I didn’t approach any women but not one out of the thousands approached me. Lol. Kinda absurd when they all don’t actually get to see you
Women are allowed to have friends who are just that. Friends. I have many friendships with women that include zero romantic or sexual tension. But! Cynicism alert: I also have long term women friends whom I’ve never ever been attracted to. I refuse to make any new women friends whom I find attractive - just to avoid emotional entanglements like this. Best of luck bro 🤘🏼
You accept the reality. It’s 99% not ever gonna happen. Then you give up trying and immediately feel 1000% better. That’s been my technique since Dec 2020. It honestly reduces all the stress
Yeah. People go off the rails when the divorce finally becomes “real”. No matter how long it takes. Destroys relationships that began after the separation all the time.
I agree. But based on experience from not chasing women or trying for the past four years, I found they don’t suddenly initiate because I didn’t. It’s been four years of crickets lol
Easy answer: it’s never weird. Complex answer: If you’re asking in order to determine if American women find it weird in order to figure out your dating life, yes. American women always find it weird if a guy of any age lives at home. For ANY reason. Lol. For instance, I’m 51. I have my own apartment. My mother and aunt (in their 70s), live in their own apartment above me. Three story house. Total separate apartment. I’m out of luck romantically because in America, this means I “live at home” an…
Yeah. I gave up trying to date in 2020 out of complete resignation. But! A couple months ago I found myself mentioning it to my mother (75). I told her how “women now have tons of options in their back pockets via dating apps and have tons of men hitting them up like hundreds and they’re ready to drop a guy at a moment’s notice for the next guy.” And she replied “Well it’s that way for guys too!” I was dumbfounded.
Good point. My last sexual experience was in 2015 (FML lol) to the craziest woman in the world. And it wasn’t fun at all. But at the end of the day you’re right. I do find myself thinking “Well, at least I got laid…”
It’s crazy. I’m a 51 year old American and gave up at 47 and all this stuff and hassle seems so far in my past. I’m glad to no longer be living with such anxiety. But I must stress that I came from a place of complete resignation that modern dating simply doesn’t work.
lol. It must be weird to be able to satisfy that itch on a whim. My itch went away after seven years lol. Single since 2015, last sex/sexual female contact 2018 fml lmao
I know a guy at work who’s getting action SIMPly because he’s willing to wear women down by asking repeatedly. Lol. I could never. I have way too much pride (and self respect)
I’ve seen so many simps in America. Many men here will simply wear a woman down until they agree. It’s awful and I have way too much pride to be that way
I saw a shirt online geared toward young girls before which read “Dump Him!” Surrounded by rainbows and smiles and cutesy stuff. I commented “Let’s make hating men great again!” People weren’t happy lol. Oh well
Yeah one of my gay friends once who knew I was long term single suggested I “just go out and get laid and give myself permission to have some fun!” I was like What planet are you from? This doesn’t work in my hertero experience lol. Imagine as a hetero guy having the ability to simply choose to go get laid simply to get out of a rut? That was his take anyway.
You wrote the words “date”, “dating”, and finally “potential partner” throughout your own post. Are you confident your intentions are platonic? Just sayin’
Unfortunately I’ve seen this too. And I eschew it. Always said I’d never be those obvious show-offs. And I never have. I’ve always been WAY too prideful to compete for a woman. But at the same time, I gotta admit that such peacocking by men works. USA USA! Lmao fml 🤷🏻♂️😂
I hear ya man. Being bullied from grades 2-8 at the same school with the same classmates didn’t help either. I was the one always picked last for gym class teams, never played with the boys outside, daily ridicule, the whole 9. Now I’m a therapist who works residential with teens. Romantically, wrong job. Lmao. Oh I don’t drink. Wrong lifestyle. Oh I love cats. Wrong pet. USA USA! Lmfao
“Raising someone elses (sic) legacy is so fucking humiliating…” 😂 So don’t do it. Choose different. Date women without children. 🤷🏻♂️ May not be many but just do you bro. No matter. Not a big deal.
Right?! Like I don’t get it. People kindly suggest to others that maybe if wanting to be or do ABC (certain career, hobby, athletic goal…) hasn’t worked for decades, then maybe it’s time to try to be a bit more realistic and maybe try another goal. NOBODY suggests giving up trying for love after years. Or decades. It’s unheard of. Lmao
Idk but I legitimately stopped trying or looking for dating, love, sex, any and all of the above; in 2020…and any and all of the above hasn’t arrived yet lmfao. And not desperate at all. I see pretty women and actively train my brain to not fantasize sexually and to forget them within five minutes. And it works. I’m chaste out of resignation rather than spirituality. Again, lmfao. But! If I were trying to do what I call the manifestation-hustle, people would be telling me I’m not doing the right…
I had a “chubby woman” pen-pal me on and off for three years and ultimately stand me up. I gave her plenty of chances and was wicked attracted to her. And, your post is dumb and I’m ashamed I replied lol
What I meant was I’ve always been a genuinely nice guy. I was raised by an overly sensitive mother and a father with no backbone. I recently asked a coworker friend why I’m never part of the action with coworkers all fooling around with each other. Even when I try in my own nice (and way lame) flirtatious way. His response? “You’re too nice.” Meaning “People don’t, haven’t, and will never see you as someone capable of fooling around at work based on how gentle you are and how you interact kindly…
I am a genuinely nice guy. I don’t have a secret agenda. I’m nice to everyone. I’m 51/m. It (surprisingly but) fairly recently occurred to me that being this way hasn’t gotten me a relationship or sex. But I accept that. I don’t look for either anymore. So my being nice is genuinely without a plan for secondary gains.
It’s more like she just indicated Ok, she’s done. It’s happened to me. Both ways. Very held back reciprocity after first date kiss and another woman stuck her tongue down my throat after a first date. As much as I didn’t want to agree, OP seems accurate.
The thing is…it sounds like you seem to think this happens intentionally by one or both parties. In the end, it’s however someone operates and how that chemistry happens to resonate with how someone else operates. Then it works or doesn’t. But I seriously do not think that men or women operate with this sort of playbook method. Idk. Maybe I’m wrong.
I run a group for adolescents at work and we had to do a curriculum on online safety and when I explained it “if you feel the ICK about anything…then you know it’s not good to be doing…” (they said Whats the ick? I said you know EXACTLY what the ick is lol.)
Yeah but anyone’s judgements about you doesn’t matter if you don’t want it too. Blow those judgements off if you want and just do your own thing. There is a theory by a dude named Albert Ellis called REBT. Rational Emotional Behavioral Therapy. It’s basically all about totally being oneself, owning one’s shit - but also not giving a shit about what anyone else thinks about your choices in life. There’s some good books with case studies in them where he explains to people why they shouldn’t care …
