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DarmakJalad Archive

View 0 posts and 242 comments by DarmakJalad on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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9

This is a tough topic. While I wouldn’t *start dancing/etc. if my partner weren’t okay with it, if I entered the relationship as a dancer, I wouldn’t love them telling me I couldn’t do it anymore. However, you are engaged and it sounds like you don’t want to lose the relationship (although watch out for any other potential red/yellow flags) so I’m wondering— is there any middle ground that might work? Like, continuing to dance, but in more conservative apparel and potentially in a more conservat…
/r/RedPillWomen31/08/24 01:57 PM
9

You hit the nail on the head. OP it’s worth considering that maybe you don’t require as much social compatibility/raw chemistry as you has with some of the guys before, in order to forge a healthy relationship, but it’s clear that there’s just way too much missing in the current relationship if this is how things look 6 months in. Marriage/ having kids with someone means spending A LOT of time with them and having a lot of sex with them, and if this is how she feels now, it doesn’t bode well for…
/r/RedPillWomen19/08/24 11:56 PM
4

Yeah. I still think that male infatuation (which is more about idealizing than the actual woman) can transition into actually being in love, which definitely allows some retention of tingles, but it involves effort and picking someone you find attractive enough but who you also respect and enjoy as a human being.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/04/24 05:34 PM
6

Men are also more likely to idealize up front and start heavy in terms of romantic feelings/behavior and attentiveness and then sort of wane in effort and emotion once the relationship becomes more established and as time passes, but then put the infatuation glasses back on if he loses her. Obviously sometimes the infatuation transitions to actually being in love and staying attentive, but men can become infatuated with far more women than they will actually fall in love with, and women get very…
/r/PurplePillDebate04/04/24 04:18 PM
2

This is not surprising. Ive noticed a pattern when men tend to be more romantic and idealistic when it comes to longing/that which they do not have (or no longer have) and when when it comes new relationships, but less romantic/attentive than women when it comes to established relationships, which is something that has the potential to be received as hurtful and color how women perceive and remember the relationship. Women’s reflection is more likely to include the dynamics and hurts (which can …
/r/PurplePillDebate04/04/24 03:59 PM
2

Yes, you could do this, but it’s also a dick move, and if the women you do want ever figure this out it’s going to look both cruel and pathetic.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/03/24 09:55 PM
2

Average age for first marriage is around 28 for women in the USA. Considering that young people usually date for atleast 2-3 years before marrying, and that individuals can change a ton in that age 18 to age 25 window in ways that inform relationship compatibility, marrying much younger than mid to late 20s may be risky. People in the teens/early 20s also don’t have the best insight/ decision making skills in general, so even if you date for marriage and even if you don’t significantly change as…
/r/PurplePillDebate27/03/24 04:56 PM
1

I didn’t have anything specific in mind, but to give an example, some people do harmful things in order to have an excuse to create distance/keep the other person on their toes and in pursuit of you. This could be something like intentionally overreacting to a mistake so there’s an excuse for the individual to pull back and so the other person experiences a mini-loss and then dedicates themselves to winning you back over. I don’t get the impression that you do any of this— just making the point …
/r/RedPillWomen25/03/24 09:20 PM
34

I would not seriously date someone with children if you do not want to be a parent. Even if the man seems okay with it, children can feel extremely hurt and rejected if you are paired with their parent and don’t want to parent them or make sacrifices to your lifestyle to accommodate them.
/r/RedPillWomen25/03/24 04:34 PM
1

It’s really important not to implement amoral theory in a manner that is immoral in action (not to suggest that you are) — but I agree with you that these concepts are really important. The (reasonable) distance thing is huge.
/r/RedPillWomen21/03/24 11:12 PM
–

I understand where you are coming from. I’ve basically always had to put in more work in life in order to attain what came more easily to others (and in some areas, less) Dating is tricky. Everyone compromises, but if you feel that the people you are dating are doing so excessively, or in a way you aren’t comfortable with , you’re options are basically to continue working on yourself, date people who are less attractive, or go solo. For what it’s worth, people are fine not ending up with the hot…
/r/PurplePillDebate19/03/24 05:13 PM
0

I appreciate you throwing this into the mix 🤣
/r/PurplePillDebate16/03/24 06:36 PM
1

The memes go too far, but I think that the interpretation that most “friend-zoned” guys are in love/think they are in love with their female friend is too charitable. It really runs the gammet from those in limerance to guys who basically just like a girl enough to be okay spending some time talking or doing activities with her, if they think it will lead to sex. I dont really thinks its equivalent to women being f*zoned. Some women intentionally will collect guys or utility or validation, but a…
/r/PurplePillDebate15/03/24 05:42 PM
3

If you are resourceful/prepare, it doesn’t matter much. If you are regularly, actively getting lost, it can be kind of an imposition that will be a big deal to some women. Not going out to places/ socializing much is different, since socializing is a big part of a relationship. As far as knowing places to go, you can get easy recommendations online or from other people you may know. Edit: I am bad with directions, and empathize with you. It’s a pain in the ass, but doing “research” before going …
/r/PurplePillDebate14/03/24 06:29 PM
1

Well It depended on how things filled out lol… but there was way less of the bigger automatically equals better.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/03/24 07:49 PM
1

I don’t know if there’s a generational piece, but when I was growing up (before white guys either starting liking or admitting how much they like a shapely bottom lol), a normal slim girl was not considered to have a nice ass at all— it was mostly just if you were genetically blessed, or had an ok ass to start + put a lot of work into your ass at the gym. Having a noticeably flat ass was considered kind of embarrassing though . Shortness wasn’t a big issue.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/03/24 05:52 PM
7

“Starting from teenage years often hear the girls say "oh i just HATE (random other female classmate)" I can’t speak on dating women, but, outside of middle school (and, to a lesser extent, high school) when everyone kind of sucked, other women have generally been a lot kinder than men, and I’ve heard a lot of women say this as well . Men were usually quicker to want to befriend me, but it was often driven by some level of attraction or desire for female attention. 90% of my reliable friendships…
/r/PurplePillDebate12/03/24 04:23 PM
1

If someone I wasn’t into took up an interest that would otherwise have no appeal to them, in the hopes of making me attracted, I would find it kind of off putting. If there was already some mutual interest I’d feel differently- at that point you are trying to build upon an existing connection, rather than trying to compensate for a lack of interest at baseline. In an actual relationship, you should, ideally make an effort to get into some of your partners interests. *Alternatively, have you your…
/r/PurplePillDebate12/02/24 10:40 PM
2

The other traits help but social awkwardness brings down smv a lot. If he is not able or willing to improve the social awkwardness, his options may be limited to the women who are noticeably less desirable than what his more socially adept counterparts could get. Edit: it takes a lot of work as an adult, but it is possible to improve social skills/awkwardness
/r/PurplePillDebate05/02/24 06:10 PM
1

I relate to the basic headings you put, but not with most of the descriptions. 1.emotional support— it’s more about support/attentiveness on a regular basis. I love that he will think of me when he’s out and pick me up a little snack. He loves that I help him with little grooming tasks and tell him he looks handsome. We love that either of us can tell a joke that falls totally flat without feeling embarrassed or judged. Companionship— being alone is manageable, but being with someone I mutually …
/r/PurplePillDebate31/01/24 06:31 PM
1

Men are less selective, so the answer is partly “because they are women”, but some men (like some women) are also very attracted to the thrills, push-pull dynamics, and ability to convince another that are special/“the exception” which criminals can be skilled at.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/01/24 06:54 PM
1

I could be missing something, but wouldn’t male looks also have been double-counted, albeit in a different manner, in early history, when a man’s health/strength and the appearance of such would have more strongly informed economic and “professional” standing/ deferrence from other men?
/r/PurplePillDebate29/01/24 07:11 PM
2

Thank you for the kind reply. You sound like a very loving person and I wish you the best of luck in your journey.
/r/RedPillWomen29/01/24 06:53 AM
1

I would stay away from this man as much as possible, and this is controversial, but I would encourage you to think about your reasons for continuing the pregnancy -if it is religious/ related your values centered around abortion, then you know yourself and you have to honor that -if it about being in your later 30s and fearing that you may not have another chance, please think seriously about whether you are okay having a baby with a life that is permanently tied (and whose life permanent ties y…
/r/RedPillWomen29/01/24 04:14 AM
–

This is true… and on top of the intimacy piece, there’s a big risk that dad may excessively prioritize factors like finances or his own social ideals for a son-in-law, at the cost of under prioritizing (non-desire based) things that may actually matter more to his daughters happiness in the long run. I strongly value extra kindness, mellowness, and common interests in a prospective partner, and found these things on my own; my dad loves me, but would not have given these traits quite as much wei…
/r/PurplePillDebate29/12/23 08:47 AM
9

It sounds like he’s not interested in giving or it’s not a priority.( Some people are okay with this trait in a partner; others will not be- you know yourself best). You already explained yourself to him, so I don’t know that having another conversation is going to be helpful at this time. I would try to direct some of the interactions toward mutually enjoyable activities (ex: if you start out with taking care of him, you can could transition to intercourse) and you can also encourage him (in th…
/r/RedPillWomen28/12/23 09:17 PM
1

Middle ground is the best: date intentionally (without sacrificing other goals) starting early 20s but don’t actually get married until you are at least 24/25. it’s possible that your serious relationship(s) may not work out and that you may have to start over, but this is still a better position to be in at 25 than 35 as the dating pool shrinks and changes a lot in that window. I would give men the same advice.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/12/23 12:17 AM
40

Aside from the anatomical difference, people just have different levels of tolerance for not-really-in-the-mood sex. If he’s not interested, you kind of have to let it be.
/r/RedPillWomen26/11/23 04:53 PM
–

Thank you for the thoughtful response. I am still theorizing, but my main thoughts are that In the absence of modern technology and conveniences (savannah or appocalypse), hypergamy would basically come down to the manifestation of “good genes” traits, barring a situation where the individual in question was just too unintelligent or lazy— adequate charisma/the “good” type of social dominance and at least appearing strong/healthy (decently good looking) would have a had the biggest role in terms…
/r/PurplePillDebate22/11/23 04:29 PM
1

This would change things considerably. Right now I’m a little pessimistic about getting to this place though (at least any time soon). Getting people thinner (which is mostly what men want for women— muscle doesn’t give women anywhere near the smv boost it gives men) really could happen within the near future, but getting men really in shape seems way more difficult.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/11/23 05:16 AM
2

Men put a lot of choice points into appearance, but also quite a bit into charisma. Top guys don’t care as much, but socially average and lower guys will definitely try for women a little cooler and more charming than themselves if they feel there’s a chance (even if they are often kind of ignorant [sometimes willfully] that these women are socially above them). This is basically the other “sexy” trait, aside from looks, and men don’t really want to date down in either department, but they are t…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/11/23 04:56 AM
2

My main concern is just that I really don’t think most men, including those who are pretty reasonable, have accepted the idea of average-ish men dating down in the main viscerally attractive traits, which kind of puts them at an impasse with their female peers who will otherwise avoid pairing up. If we can improve male social skills and fitness, then men won’t have to date down as much, but until/unless that happens, I don’t see a way around (non-top) men dating down in visceral attractiveness. …
/r/PurplePillDebate21/11/23 02:01 AM
1

When it comes to the main traits that affect sexual desirability (appearance, charisma, a type of social mastery) many guys still think they should be able to date laterally/up and women should date laterally/down. It’s only been in my generation onward + within the last 5 it so years, that I semi-regularly see normal, mid tier couples where the man is more desirable whether it be in terms of looks or charisma, than the women. These couples are usually decently matched in terms of the other fact…
/r/PurplePillDebate20/11/23 10:21 PM
1

It could be that he was pretty sexually desirable from a personality standpoint (resources, which would have gotten him a better looking wife, were more correlated with charisma, etc. than they are now) but she couldnt really get a feel for this until after commitment since the social structure of the time so limited interactions between unrelated men and women. Had they been born 100 years later and attended college together, she may have developed that attraction by pretty basic exposure and i…
/r/PurplePillDebate18/11/23 09:51 PM
1

Often with time, a woman can grow to love and even sufficiently desire a man who wouldn't normally make her aroused. Sometimes just sleeping with him regularly and him being sufficiently manly and capable can in time generate love and some lust. * Women can definitely love in the absence of sufficient lust, but having to have regular sex with someone she doesn’t desire is more likely to breed disgust and resentment than anything else. If he is really manly and capable enough to inspire adequate …
/r/PurplePillDebate18/11/23 08:49 PM
–

It’s hard to interpret, but they might have just picked colorful and cozy as safe adjectives when they didn’t know what else to say about something that’s not their taste or norm .
/r/PurplePillDebate13/11/23 10:46 PM
–

I like cozy and colorful, but you could also use these terms to describe a tie dye shirt in need of replacement. I wouldn’t really consider it a compliment unless it’s from people who really appreciate those things, and would rather be told their own house is “colorful” rather than being told it’s <insert adjectives pertaining to caliber”>
/r/PurplePillDebate13/11/23 10:34 PM
2

It depends somewhat on your situation. I am close with my mom who is super sweet, and I really wanted someone who would be kind to her and understanding of certain things like her being higher-anxiety, so for me, her perspective and seeing them get to know one another was very important.
/r/RedPillWomen04/11/23 09:49 AM
1

Thank you for the insight. Im coupled, but it’s helpful to see these details since I have close friends who are actively dating. The only thing I would caution you on though is that seriously dating men with non-adult and sometimes even, younger adult children is not like being an aunt. If you love and share a life with a man who has kids, it can be very difficult not to end up as a third parent (and children may end up badly hurt if they figure out that you don’t want this, even if dad says he’…
/r/RedPillWomen03/11/23 09:12 PM
9

I agree with the adult content piece. Privacy and avoiding parasocial relationships with adult performers is important.
/r/RedPillWomen31/10/23 09:09 PM
17

I don’t have formal rules, but our principles are basically: Keep healthy boundaries when it comes to any opposite sex friendships. Even platonically intimate friendships are for same sex friends only. Listen intently and take an interest in what the other is saying. Don’t talk at one another and don’t try to make the other person engage in interests that are truly unappealing to the other party- ex: listening to a sports or a fashion program if one person hates it— instead enjoy these things in…
/r/RedPillWomen31/10/23 09:06 PM
–

A lot of us never gave up the mid to low rise pants, but shy away from the very low pairs.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/10/23 08:50 PM
1

Women with mild autism also present somewhat differently than their male counterparts — their deviation from (even gender-neutral) social norms tends to not be as stark and there’s a lot more masking going on. They do still take a dating hit though— just way less terms of visceral desirability. Back in the early 2000s when promiscuity was really high I remember relatively normal guys (certainly not “Chad”) basically humping and dumping normal-looking mildly autistic girls, in between actual rela…
/r/PurplePillDebate05/10/23 04:48 PM
2

I would be okay with this
/r/PurplePillDebate27/09/23 01:14 PM
2

it takes a while for a guy to be a proven tale It’s a fucked up industry. A lot of new (sometimes very young) straight men end up doing a lot of gay content with the hope/expectation of it being temporary
/r/PurplePillDebate26/09/23 12:43 PM
1

I see two big factors, not mutually exclusive: People who like excitement and push-pull dynamics, and are prone to feeling bored or smothered in a more typical relationship Men who may like the more superficial aspects of femininity but dislike “traditionally feminine” deeper personality traits- ex: softness, vulnerability, mild neuroticism, and so pursue women who are the opposite
/r/PurplePillDebate22/09/23 06:49 PM
2

I haven’t really seen this with handsome, all-around high status guys, but I’ve seen some nice-looking, professionally successful guys who were not that strong socially, struggle to get the women they want. Edit: I have known handsome, broadly successful guys who struggle in the sense that they preferred very challenging women, so their relationships end up being tumultuous.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/09/23 10:35 PM
7

It kind of depends on whether something is a preference, or if it is a requirement for the relationship to be preferable to no relationship. Some people would prefer a virgin but would not forgo a relationship with a non-virgin who had a lower count; some absolutely only want a virgin. The latter group is less common.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/09/23 09:25 PM
3

Very similar in most major ways. The biggest difference is that I come from a more affluent background (although we are both kind of UMC) and that I am more anxious while he’s more easy going.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/09/23 07:49 PM
–

I get that piece. My thought is that men get more of a boost than ever from being tall (in the eyes of women of all heights) so if they are pairing up with tall women at the same or at an increased rate than in the past, they must actually have somewhat of a preference for tall women.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/09/23 04:18 PM
–

In terms of the hating on piece, I mostly just see guys make fun of short girls in the context of these women preferring tall men. I do actually see more tall men choosing tall women than in the past though —- I think this may just be part of todays men choosing mates more pragmatically in general sense. Dating someone much shorter is a pain in the ass and, for those who care, increases the odds of having short kids.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/09/23 04:01 PM
1

Recreational activities/ interest groups + going to events with friends is how I have generally met people. Sometimes you really get a chance to talk to another person in that setting, and sometimes you/your friend group exchanges info and hopefully reconnect another time.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/09/23 08:40 PM
9

I’m just not really clear on the intention of this post. The people who say they don’t care about N count are speaking in general terms. They aren’t referring to a super specific , unlikely scenario of having to watch/read a graphic account oh their partners past experiences.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/09/23 04:25 PM
14

For the same basic reason that women don’t want a graphic record of the things that men would have done with other women had the women allowed it lol. It’s disguisting and provokes excessive speculation, comparison, and potentially obsessiveness, jealousy, and insecurity. As long as I’m happy with my existing relationship , I don’t want to think about where his mouth has been or where he wanted to do to other women with his mouth.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/09/23 04:04 PM
1

Gotcha. I appreciate kindness and loyalty. I’d value that + attractive enough that the intimacy does not become unpleasant to me, over less kind but extra attractive. I will say that I think a lot women can still find the “average man” attractive enough, but that group will include a lot of slightly below average women.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/09/23 07:05 PM
4

I want to say B, but “a long-term sexual relationship with a man who is not attractive to you” probably would be repulsive to me. I’d have to find them at least somewhat attractive if I’m expected to have sex with them for the rest of my healthy life. Otherwise, option D.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/09/23 04:51 PM
3

Actually saying this to someone would be super hurtful, but I can see a situation where someone might feel this way, while still caring about and having enough attraction to their partner to enjoy a normal sex life with them. In that case, if I was happy with the rest of the relationship, I don’t think I would leave that person. Realistically some recreational sex acts can trigger disgust, that can take a ton of lust to override (and for some people, no amount of lust would be adequate for this)…
/r/PurplePillDebate12/09/23 04:18 PM
7

My life is much better for having observed and listened to older woman. I paid the most attention to: Women who had the type of relationship I wanted Women who largely managed to avoid some of the more common relationships situations that I did not want Women with decent SMV/RMV who still ended up in surprisingly unfavorable relationships
/r/PurplePillDebate07/09/23 05:10 PM
1

I don’t think men even like when women lean into a lot of these traits over the long term. They get annoyed by neuroticism and what they receive as oversensitivity, and seem to find too much agreeability/submission slightly pathetic, desperate, or burdensome overtime. Acting excessively masculine is also an issue, but a lot men seem to prefer sort of a middle ground woman who is adequately accommodating from a place of being very mellow and/ or adaptive (which would oddly correspond more with th…
/r/PurplePillDebate07/09/23 02:50 PM
3

Shaving daily-ish there tears up some people’s skin, but even just reducing the amount hair definitely makes it easier to stay clean.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/09/23 08:48 PM
3

This reflects the men in my family very accurately. They all married smart, educated women who were roughly their age. One of those women chose not to go back to work after having two kids nearly back to back, but her background still helped because she was able to be very hands on with the kids education and extracurriculars at a level that met the standards of her ambitious and caring husband.
/r/RedPillWomen06/09/23 05:55 PM
20

Depends on the woman and circumstances. One thing I see people do is move in together and make lifestyle/financial changes that would backfire if they ever broke up— ex: making compromises in one’s job/career so that are able to help more with managing the home/the couples shared life, which takes some weight off a partner, etc. It is a good faith gesture, but personally, I would not do this without the protection of being married.
/r/RedPillWomen06/09/23 04:07 PM
1

Obesity definitely has more of a negative impact on how woman see men than the reverse, but the other issue is that most average-ish men dating their rank equivalent in looks still don’t really want to make a concession in other gg traits. Male 5s who want female 5s are okay if she makes less money or has less raw intelligence, but they would prefer she not be more awkward in rank than him, so most women dating their looks-match (outside of the very top and bottom tiers where things get funky) a…
/r/PurplePillDebate03/09/23 09:05 PM
1

Sorry, I think I edited my comment after you replied
/r/PurplePillDebate03/09/23 08:26 PM
1

There is a fair amount of plasticity, but the forces at play are mostly cultural/environmental, and there’s not that a ton that can be done to change them on a the individual level. We are oversaturated with sexualized media and images of extremely beautiful people, which affects our minimum standards and expectations. Some people can semi-conscious lower their standards, but young people usually cannot. Even if we do as much as we realistically can at a macro level (and im definitely in favor o…
/r/PurplePillDebate03/09/23 08:10 PM
–

It’s one of my favorite things, but I generally avoid it due to safety. Walking on the beach at night is amazing.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/09/23 12:09 AM
1

Female dating male (long term relationship, not looking, both of us are a normal BMI) 2/3. If BMI is elevated due to fat (rather than muscle) it would be a strong enough deterrent that the person would have to be more considerably attractive in other ways in order for me to still consider dating them. I don’t think I would date anyone past class I obesity under almost any realistic circumstances.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/08/23 08:03 PM
1

Re: greatest gen, my meaning is that the men wanted the sex, but the women didn’t feel that sense of specialness, even though they were able to inspire more than enough lust, because the men were emotionally checked out/unromantic. Often it was duty sex, but the lack of romantic affection made that even worse. sex with someone that adores her > sex with someone who is mostly just there for getting off and validation, even when both situations are duty sex.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/08/23 05:41 PM
4

Being constantly bombarded with images of extremely beautiful people affects how attractive we perceive the people around us to me, so I’d imagine it has somewhat affected my minimum looks standards in a way that cannot really be consciously lowered.In terms of the rest, I don’t really think so. I’ve basically wanted the same core traits in a partner since I was very young.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/08/23 05:13 PM
1

Women for sure don’t want to feel like their partner finds them barely fuckable, but I don’t think being equally to better looking than their partner is necessary for her to feel adequately desired in terms of raw attraction. I think with the feeling special piece, the more common problem that the the level of adoration/affection toward the women is sometimes below the necessary threshold. The greatest generation was full of couples with a slightly better looking women… lots of whom felt like th…
/r/PurplePillDebate29/08/23 04:26 PM
1

I always thought it was mostly relationship security, given the cost of losing such security in the enforced monogamy context where a less sexy but resource-rich man could somewhat buy himself a hotter partner. Men’s attraction floor is so low that a women can be a lot less attractive and still be desirable to a man. I do think that extra beauty that amplify limerance up front, but it doesn’t actually seem to sustain or reignite romantic love in the long term. Among the still-romantic 20+ year c…
/r/PurplePillDebate28/08/23 12:03 AM
1

Honestly, around the mid-ish and lower tiers, I do think women are more attractive in absolute terms but I really don’t think this is true by the time you get to the 8+ range. If I were a 7, I would not seek to date a 9, but if it happened, I would assume he liked me well enough based on other factors (assuming our personalities meshed well, and he was not on the prowl for a green card or something lol) that I would be okay with the looks gap.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/08/23 11:41 PM
2

Mostly just somewhat coercive situations (male friend repeatedly trying to hook up her at his house during a movie) or drunk at a party (pre-Uber days) and guy who was going to drive her decides he wants something in exchange. I do however know very high libedo girls who would pick partners more or less based on proximity sometimes lol
/r/PurplePillDebate27/08/23 11:33 PM
1

Roughly couple points better looking is all good, but I would be a little nervous to be a 5 marrying a 9 or something.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/08/23 11:13 PM
2

This sounds more like dd/lg territory than just red pill. You can be caring toward someone and have moments of playfulness and lightness without going as far as assuming a “daddy” type role and treating women like children. If both parties want a more extreme dynamic, that’s alright, but most women don’t want it to go that far.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/08/23 06:12 PM
3

It’s more about the the implication
/r/PurplePillDebate22/08/23 09:58 PM
4

u/slyfer_seven He’s kind of purple leaning blue
/r/PurplePillDebate22/08/23 03:04 AM
–

Assuming it’s not something that I find morally objectionable to “lean into,” ex: if he watches medically accurate cartoons of people being skinned alive or something, I’d otherwise just try to forget about it and go forward.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/08/23 11:39 PM
3

Both should get parental leave. In terms of periods, most people don’t regularly need time off unless there’s an underlying medical issue. Having adequate sick leave time for employees should be the priority.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/08/23 10:49 PM
3

I was making a very dumb lol joke because it’s usually “stay at home spouse,” and a “sty”is an enclosure where pigs live 😆 thank you for answering in good faith though. I guess I don’t really see these kinds of situations super often. The women I know work, and if they work part time or take a break it’s usually because of caregiving or doing a lot more of the home management piece . I do see situations where the man still helps with home chores though, since little kids are a handful.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/08/23 10:28 PM
2

Is a “sty at home spouse” someone who takes horrifically bad care of the home and spends most of their time just eating and rolling around in the house filth?
/r/PurplePillDebate21/08/23 10:18 PM
–

I’d like to think that "would you love me if I was a worm" is genderless… or else I’ve got all these answers up my sleeve for nothing.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/08/23 10:11 PM
2

My inner 12 year old laughed out loud at “confronted with a micropenis.”
/r/PurplePillDebate21/08/23 09:53 PM
1

Excuse me, I’ll have you know that when I was 11.75, I met my husband, 15.75, , and he led me beautifully, allowing us to eventually emigrate from Flanders.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/08/23 08:13 PM
1

Most normal people jobs don’t provide a “sexy” type of status (except maybe a firefighter or certain military jobs or something lol), but there’s definitely jobs that are appealing in terms of prestige— the big ones would be lawyer, doctor, high level management/business guys, etc.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/08/23 06:13 PM
2

Not a right, but being less sexually selective means they can still find people that are less attractive (and sometimes a lot less attractive*) desirable for sex.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/08/23 09:21 PM
6

Some types of feelings will be more or less malleable than others, and women cannot just turn off sexual aversion like adjusting the volume on a tv. Men are innately much less sexually selective with a higher libedo, but even so, I would not ask a man to have sex he finds repulsive or traumatic. Your comment also comes across as quite emotionally charged and hostile, which is not a great example if you are trying to say that women should “master their emotions like men”
/r/PurplePillDebate17/08/23 08:34 PM
2

You wait or you find a way to increase the other persons interest or comfort level. Seeking sex outside the relationship pollutes it.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/08/23 06:06 PM
11

You have to meet minimum attraction requirements in order for the intimacy (which men are generally not going to want a relationship without) to not to be unpleasant for women. This is mainly means being adequately physically attractive and/or charismatic to her. You sort of can’t get around this.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/08/23 04:10 PM
1

Telling me that I, or friends had remembered interactions incorrectly, in order to confuse me/make me doubt my perceptions and rewrite things in a way that was more favorable for him Telling me they really liked me but we’re holding back in pursuing me due to logistics or noble reasons (which was definitely not the case) Saying to other people that he was just being nice /humoring me, and then telling me the opposite Saying I was being selfish in worrying about if how he could have been impacted…
/r/PurplePillDebate16/08/23 03:40 PM
–

“No, you shut the fuck up!”
/r/PurplePillDebate16/08/23 12:51 AM
3

Kids are too scattered and impulsive for that lol. Ideally, you start really looking in college/early 20s, are with your person by mid 20s, and get married by the later 20s. Unless you want a ton of kids, you don’t need to staring having them in the early 20s.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/08/23 06:19 PM
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No lol, but to each their own.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/08/23 05:34 PM
–

This might be their way of telling you something 🤣
/r/PurplePillDebate15/08/23 05:31 PM
2

possibly if was a long time ago and no longer appeals to him If he stopped recently because he’s enamored, then no. Dudes gonna want to resume as soon as the new relationship energy wears off
/r/PurplePillDebate15/08/23 05:14 PM
1

There is some middle ground; A lot of mid to lower attractiveness women won’t be attracted to their rank equivalent, but will have enough attraction for a man a point or two higher than her, even if he’s not top 20%. If you look at men 100 years ago and men today...it's very obvious that men have improved a LOT in terms of how they treat women... This is extremely important, but women still don’t want to sleep with men that they find viscerally unattractive, and kindness doesn’t address the raw …
/r/PurplePillDebate15/08/23 04:51 PM
–

Yeah… I’ve known way too many greatest gen women to want to romanticize their relationships/roles.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/08/23 04:20 PM
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There is definitely a positive correlation between being good looking and being more social. Some of it is probably a positive feedback loop, but in the end you just end up with more attractive people who present as charismatic and outgoing than you do with plain or unattractive folks.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/08/23 04:10 PM
2

There’s a middle ground between dating someone your exact rank and Chad-type attractiveness gaps. Repulsive is pretty specific. The Chad drama, while hurtful and exhausting, isn’t specially repulsive
/r/PurplePillDebate14/08/23 09:54 PM
1

For the bottom 50% of women, that would include a lot of pairings that would be sexually repulsive for the women just based upon how the sexes are wired.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/08/23 09:28 PM
1

I am speaking in reference to my experience. No clue what it would be on a broad scale.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/08/23 08:52 PM
1

I already clarified that the first comment (adorable… good looks, etc.) was not from a man. I am 33 and I am telling you my experiences. If you don’t believe me then we are at an impasse.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/08/23 08:51 PM
1

I just said it was like 75% men. The first one wasn’t from a man lol.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/08/23 08:07 PM
3

75% of it was from men. Edit: When I was a teen, I went to 2 events with guys that I would not have gone with (datewise) because multiple friends of theirs anticipated I wouldn’t want to go but strongly “encouraged me” to give it a chance. This shit was not uncommon.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/08/23 07:26 PM
3

women hear this less than they did 10 years ago, and certainly less than 20+ years ago, but friends and I have gotten a ton of shit/ pressure for turning down men we weren’t attracted to, regardless of how it was done. Lots of “buts he’s adorable … good looks aren’t everything” and “c’mon give him a chance,” “see where it leads,” ”you’re sure you don’t like him at all…” Throughout most of modern history, women were expected to sleep with guys they weren’t attracted to, and social and economic pr…
/r/PurplePillDebate14/08/23 07:19 PM
1

Most women-like men, don’t want to date (and have to sleep with) someone they aren’t attracted to, and most women aren’t attracted to pushovers. It’s great that your mom found a good man, and im assuming doesn’t mind that he is “too much of a pushover” [for your taste], older/presents older, and discernibly lacks confidence, but not being interested in guys who fit this description is not akin to having absurd standards.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/08/23 04:36 PM
0

I don’t even like the type of men you describe, but women are generally not rejecting men who would make good long term partners due to their lack of a dodgy sales pitch… they are rejecting guys due to the presence of indicators of being more likely to have social shortcomings. Guys also like the idea of being with a girl who lacks social awkwardness/is charming, but since guys are less sexually selective, higher libido with a higher disgust threshold, and have fewer opportunities, they will tak…
/r/PurplePillDebate12/08/23 07:45 PM
3

Makes sense. Marital age gap in the West is usually around 2-3 years.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/08/23 08:53 PM
3

33 here. A lot of women in the earlier 30s won’t totally rule out a near-40 year old, but will prefer someone closer in age, which generally means having a lower chance of success/ having to go for someone who is less desirable (relative to respective demographic) than if you were pursing people closer in age.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/08/23 08:24 PM
2

It would depend on the work load at home, age/needs of the kids, and how much assistance is available from the rest of our support network or can be hired. In general though, I’d aim to sure that he gets at least a couple of hours in the evening free from chores/ primary parenting role.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/08/23 08:42 AM
16

If a women doesn’t mind engaging in the experimental acts with her partner, then yes, they should go for it …. but if she already knows that she actually dislikes something, it’s not reasonable to expect her to engage in undesirable sex acts in order to “catch up” her partner. Along the same lines, I also would not expect a man to engage in sexual acts that he dislikes just because his partner is inexperienced. You kind of having to focus on the acts that both people are Ok with, and if he canno…
/r/PurplePillDebate05/08/23 08:25 PM
2

I’m embarrassed by how hard I laughed at this 🤣
/r/PurplePillDebate05/08/23 01:18 AM
1

Me too
/r/PurplePillDebate05/08/23 01:01 AM
1

No idea, but It looks like a confusingly nice cross between Princess Peach, Lolita style, and a train conductor
/r/PurplePillDebate05/08/23 12:39 AM
3

I’ve kind of been there. Male peers seemed to find me unattractive for most of my youth. It didn’t feel great, but there wasn’t much to be done, and I saw that people found it pathetic if you wallowed and creepy if you persisted in spite of social signals. I kind of had to accept it, and focused on other pursuits, self-improvement, and friendships with women.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/08/23 04:06 PM
6

No one is entitled to a relationship or sex, but leading someone on is shitty either way. Lying about one of these things doesn’t make lying about the other acceptable. If one actually changes their mind, then it is what it is
/r/PurplePillDebate31/07/23 06:09 AM
3

Some treatments (like microneedling) requiring creating some controlled injury to the skin in order to prompt rejuvination, and it’s normal to have some irritation after (and in the case of microneedling, some openings in the skin). When skin is freshly irritated or has punctures, kissing is not a good idea and can even be an infection risk.
/r/RedPillWomen29/07/23 07:09 PM
1

I do think that mid to lower tier women are better looking than their male counterparts. Dating down in appearance rank seems more realistic than does in dating down in absolute terms. Part of my reservation about the idea of men dating down in the other gg traits but up/laterally in looks is that I think mid-lower tier men are not great at gauging where they fall in those traits, and are more likely to overrate than underrate (and I’m not sure if we can or should try to shed light on this on a …
/r/PurplePillDebate23/07/23 09:25 AM
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Agreed
/r/PurplePillDebate19/07/23 03:30 AM
1

Much of the aversion to age gaps is that it plays into the women as a resource exchanged for good behavior concept. We know that women tend to be much less attracted to and have a harder time socially connecting with older men. The advantage that older men have over younger men is that if they engaged in relatively “good behavior”/worked hard, they will have more money than young men… and given the chance, some want young women in exchange for their investments. There’s other reasons for the ave…
/r/PurplePillDebate18/07/23 11:33 PM
1

All the time? I don’t think so, unless it was necessary for safety. Having some privacy/space is healthy for a couple. A tiny bit of innocent mystery is also fun, and helps to keep things fresh in a LTR.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/07/23 09:51 PM
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The majority of the time it isn’t the attraction that grows. If she’s attracted but skeptical of his intentions/ unsure if he could be an appropriate partner , then time/familiarity can help a lot more, but if they’re such a lack of attraction that she feels guilty about it, then this is unlikely to change.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/07/23 09:34 PM
1

Women are veeeeeery sensitive to this and it’s straight up repulsive to them, I don’t think it’s worth chancing it, even from an amoral standpoint. And, again, even if they don’t pick up on your contribution to the guilt, you still have the association of pity and resentment, which is more likely to kill any potential for attraction than facilitate it.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/07/23 06:00 PM
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Of course some peoples standards are too high, but security matters once there is adequate attraction, and it would be unlikely for most women in situations you described to have adequate attraction for their partner (a woman in her 30s dating guys 15+ years older, or a gorgeous tall woman dating a short, weird, shy guy with a “dad” bod). I hope that she is actually sexually attracted to him and will continue to feel that way as they are the relationship age, but if she is not, the kinder thing …
/r/PurplePillDebate15/07/23 06:00 PM
3

Nah. If a woman who is not attracted to you intuits that you are trying to make her feel guilty/amplify any guilt over the lack of attraction, in order to get a romantic/sexual opportunity with her, she is likely to receive this as sexually and morally gross/ pathetic and will be far less receptive.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/07/23 05:09 PM
1

I understand, but I’m saying that this association can be extremely unsexy, which is counterproductive to what you are trying to achieve.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/07/23 11:25 PM
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Money and prestige type status are not really attractive on a visceral level. There is a type of charisma/magnetism-based social status that is very attractive, but in an industrialized world it’s not uncommon for a man attain the prestigious type of status without necessarily having the sexually desirable type.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/07/23 11:14 PM
3

This elicits pity and resentment, which are not conducive to attraction.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/07/23 11:03 PM
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Only one of these men is viscerally attractive to women.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/07/23 10:57 PM
1

Pay attention to social signals, develop some sense of what your league taking into account social (charisma, awkwardness, etc,) + looks, and that women are hardwired to be more sexually selective than men, and engage when the context is appropriate- ex: if you are friends with someone who is clearly attracted then ask them out without getting heavy, If you like a friend and don’t think reciprocation is likely, then don’t. Keep in mind that you will have better chances with women a little less s…
/r/PurplePillDebate14/07/23 10:40 PM
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She has a conservative side, but she is frequently regarded as a TERF, and rad fems are furious at her.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/07/23 08:18 PM
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See JK Rowling
/r/PurplePillDebate14/07/23 07:57 PM
1

Reasonable use of camera angles, lighting, and styling is fine, but the styling should be fairly consistent with how he shows up in person and he shouldn’t be photoshopping out a giant belly or something lol. I mean I dont think I’m fancy or alt enough to date a guy who wear’s makeup, but if he was really put together in photos and showed up unkempt then I would feel sort of duped. The biggest factor though would be if I still found him adequately attractive in person. If not, then there’s no po…
/r/PurplePillDebate14/07/23 06:22 PM
5

I agree. The frustration is about the “checking out” piece just as much as the functional difficulties. My partner and I are very busy but make an effort to be attentive to one another when we are free (cuddling, chatting: and really listening to what the other is saying,, doing small/silly but thoughtful things like grabbing the other person’s favorite snack, etc.) and showing appreciation, and it’s makes things tolerable even when our schedules are insane.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/07/23 06:46 PM
2

Agreed. Getting engaged after a couple of years is very fast for people in the early 20s, but quite reasonable in the later 20 and onward.
/r/RedPillWomen12/07/23 04:14 PM
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Hey! Nobody talks about my girlfriends like that!
/r/PurplePillDebate11/07/23 06:10 PM
1

Both men and women can get hooked by the pull-pull adrenaline rush and love bombing that can accompany being with a BPD type. It’s definitely more than just the sex.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/07/23 07:50 PM
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Because you whipper snappers keep me young
/r/PurplePillDebate05/07/23 08:33 PM
1

100% and also want to add in that fewer top women will put up with this now- both up front and in the long term, than possibly ever, because becoming or staying single is a more viable option than in the past. Todays top men who philander may take actually take a decent hit in terms of long term partner choice/retention.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/06/23 08:37 PM
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Info: Have other aspects of your behavior, mindset, or presentation changed? Sometimes people become bolder after a physical change, and depending on what that looks like/context, it may be received well or received poorly. There’s also the potential that they may have already been bothered by something in your behavior (whether rightly or wrongly), but sort of ignored it because you did not register as a potential threat, which, may no longer be the case if you could clearly kick someone’s ass …
/r/PurplePillDebate27/06/23 10:13 PM
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That is fair, but I am also kind of cracking up at you admiring the models through a critical lens but then ending up on what is probably the least good feature on most of them.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/06/23 08:18 PM
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There’s nothing wrong with not being attracted either way, but a 4 doesn’t usually mean overtly ugly.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/06/23 07:31 PM
1

Preselection at its finest😂
/r/PurplePillDebate26/06/23 10:12 PM
1

Like one on each leg?
/r/PurplePillDebate26/06/23 10:07 PM
1

I’m rolling 🤣
/r/PurplePillDebate26/06/23 10:06 PM
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I don't know how much a high level of submission/ softness was ever really respected by men. In the short term, these traits may have helped inspire limerance in the right type of man, but in the long term, they were often received as an indication of weakness, desperation, or incompetence. Of course, women (and men) should generally avoid excessively disagreeable or inflammatory behavior as possible [and there a ton of relevant bad habits that both sides can afford to work on right now], but ex…
/r/PurplePillDebate26/06/23 09:23 PM
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Agreed. Women probably have to learn to not fuck upwards prior to pairing with the kind of man they can get. For sure, but I think they are basically “playing the lotto” right now, because theres not much in the way of other options to get a man she’ll actually be attracted to long term. If men can show willingness to date down in good genes traits by a point or two, without half-assing it because they saw the men in past generations get an equally attractive or sexier-than-them women (imo reali…
/r/PurplePillDebate15/06/23 05:05 PM
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Im just saying what I think TRP’s message boils down to. I believe that if the media and men get on board, we can salvage things. I think women will largely follow if men make the necessary compromises (that men can afford— no one should have to lie back and think of England) and if the media is largely desexualized and used to encouraged a more healthy/recreationally productive lifestyle. Obviously there will be other things but I think those are the biggies.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/06/23 04:45 PM
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Absolutely. It’s basically: women should make this sacrifice, and if they don’t, then fellas , enjoy the decline- lean into hedonistic behavior that broadly damages women (women didn’t compromise, so why should we?) and unfortunately, causes some collateral damage to betas— but they already got screwed by women and why should we have to be the only ones to sacrifice our sexual strategy to spare betas if the women aren’t sacrificing theirs?
/r/PurplePillDebate15/06/23 04:09 PM
1

A little tangential, but it occurred to me that a lot of the “classic” unfavorable female behavior toward other women would probably diminish if men were gone—-because the punishment for being non-successful in the FSM was unwanted heterosexual sex/interactions— or, along the same lines, life/survival being made so difficult or unpleasant for women that semi-consensually pairing up was preferable. I don’t think that we would see the same improvement in male-male behavior if women disappeared.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/06/23 01:40 AM
2

I agree. Oddly though, I also see more very attractive men ending up with slightly less attractive women than ever before, which is confusing in a way because they wouldn’t “have to” date down in this respect in order to maintain the woman’s attraction overtime (which would be advisable in the case of mid and lower tier men, imo), and would also be very capable of getting an equally (if not more) attractive woman. I mainly see this occur with charismatic, accomplished, or intellectual men who se…
/r/PurplePillDebate31/05/23 04:55 AM
1

I was mainly thinking about how being in a long-term couple with a very incompatible partner is just kind of awful (even before factoring in external forces- though I agree with your point) and the women in his life may pick up on the incompatibility that the couple has been trying to ignore while immersed in the influence of new relationship energy (or the lure of new money lol). I agree with your latter point as well. I see a surprising number of high status young men making wise (for lack of …
/r/PurplePillDebate31/05/23 02:37 AM
1

This is fair, but I also think there’s a strong element of women trying to deter the man from making a major decision that will actually be quite bad for him, and often bad for the new woman as well.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/05/23 08:55 PM
2

Some won’t care at all, some high status/high attaining men absolutely will want a wife/the women raising their children to have an educational background that includes a bachelor’s from a good state (or more prestigious) school. The cost of living/distribution of wealth and culture in your environment will have an impact here, but where I live your chances of marrying a high value man who would make enough for you to stay at home with 2-3 kids would be negatively affected by not having a bachel…
/r/RedPillWomen28/05/23 11:23 PM
1

Like, not assertive in pursuing me? No Unassertive/overly passive in general? Yes
/r/PurplePillDebate26/05/23 12:46 AM
3

I do think that women are likely more attractive in some objective sense. In the modern world, that gap is probably a lot bigger and takes a lot longer to close (around menopause in my opinion). In early human history, Id imagine that everyone was fairly fit, and women visually "aged" more quickly than they do now secondary to factors like hard labor, multiple pregnancies, and excess sun exposure, so that gap was probably smaller and closed earlier. Women also tend to take less of a hit in the d…
/r/PurplePillDebate24/05/23 05:40 PM
3

I don’t really see a non-coercive way to achieve that kind of pairing rate unless the long term effect of COVID turns out to be impotence or something. The companionship side of things seems more workable, but an 85% pairing rate would just involve too much unwanted/potentially traumatic sex for women.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/05/23 03:29 AM
2

Right I can’t really think of an alternative that doesn’t seem unduly cruel to women,
/r/PurplePillDebate23/05/23 01:55 AM
1

Possibly half-baked theory: If I look at things primarily through the lens of visceral desirability, I think there's enough overlap/interaction between the traits that both men and women find attractive that we cannot really expect women en mass to be able to date laterally/down in looks, while still dating laterally/up in the non-looks aspects of visceral attractiveness/ in overall visceral attractiveness.. I think women may become more flexible with dating truly across income, if given the opp…
/r/PurplePillDebate22/05/23 09:18 PM
4

“with women of roughly equivalent mate ranking” The way that most mid-ish tier men interpret/pursue this is basically to apply their efforts and expectations to being with women who are largely at their level or a bit higher in terms of some major traits that matter to both men AND woman- I.e. a certain type ofcharm and looks. Given that men don’t really “need” to date laterally/up (like women) in these respects for a relationship to still be a net-positive, this seems very selfish to women. (I.…
/r/PurplePillDebate22/05/23 04:56 AM
2

This seems ultimately counterproductive—- you are increasing the odds of developing a negative association with sex and potentially resentment and trauma, which taints the relationship and opportunities for good sex when she’s actually in the mood. I don’t think most women would make this choice if they thought their partners would be okay with the alternative.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/05/23 10:30 PM
1

This is sort of my impression also. Domestic violence is a huge issue on both ends, but we somewhat innately know that a man hitting a woman is much more physically dangerous than the reverse. My boyfriend is the most gentle dude in the world and neither of us would ever do this, but if my boyfriend attacked me, even with bare hands , I would probably be scared for my life and have a knee-jerk reaction to fight back, whereas if I was the perpetrator he might not react with the same level of fear…
/r/PurplePillDebate02/05/23 05:21 PM
1

A+ 😂
/r/PurplePillDebate27/03/23 06:58 AM
3

You can use legware /shoes/ dress and skirt silhouettes that are flattering.
/r/RedPillWomen03/03/23 08:49 PM
9

This is what I’ve seen in UMC/ affluent Gen x and millennial women also. I think the prior poster was selling men in their 20s short, while overselling men in the 30-40 (to women in the early 20s). The dynamic he describes is more consistent with male than female wants.
/r/RedPillWomen28/02/23 05:55 PM
1

It’s nearly impossible to answer without knowing the individuals age or what “multiple sexual partners” means. If I assume he is my age (33) I guess I’d go with Sam. If we were 19 I’d likely go with Tom.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/02/23 06:18 PM
2

What about dental healthcare? Can the dentist get away with being fat?
/r/PurplePillDebate21/02/23 12:02 AM
2

Lol, it’s a good question!
/r/PurplePillDebate16/02/23 09:36 PM
1

Is there a point limit? If not, maybe: Extroversion:3 Neurosis:2 Orderliness: 4 Agreeability: 4 Openness/Inquisitiveness :4
/r/PurplePillDebate16/02/23 09:35 PM
2

The sleep issue + just having your own little immediate living space makes a world of a difference. If I oversleep, and leave my night clothes on the my bedroom floor, it’s my problem and I’ll have to deal with it . If I do it on a shared bedroom floor, he either has to clean up after me or tolerate my clothes being on the floor which will inevitably stress him out. If I have a hard day at work and just want to go home, tune out the world, and do something benign but weird for 2 hours, I can pro…
/r/PurplePillDebate15/02/23 11:42 PM
2

I’m in this position (separate bedrooms + keep bathroom stuff as separate as plausible) and it doesn’t really require much compromise on comfort/companionship. We still cuddle/have intimacy, and sometimes take naps together, and the bathroom stuff is very reasonable, but it means having to deal with far fewer annoyances and turns offs that result when 100% sharing a bathroom for all needs. Edit: I still hear women express sadness about partners not being as affectionate/romantic as they would li…
/r/PurplePillDebate15/02/23 09:37 PM
4

It is economically inefficient but LAT or living in a shared home but with separate bedrooms/more than one bathroom (so that you are, as much as possible not doing the disgusting cleaning for the other party and have your own space) could help a lot.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/02/23 09:23 PM
2

I’d follow his preference, but would be put off if he absolutely refused to allow me to get a massage from a man.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/02/23 06:04 PM
–

I mainly have female friendships at this point, but when I was younger, I had male friends that weren’t attractive.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/02/23 05:35 AM
1

I don't receive this as unfair. Men prioritize looks more heavily, but given the lower selectivity, higher libido, lower disgust threshold, and likely, a greater resilience to losing attraction over time, most men can still more than satisfy their minimum desirability threshold by dating a women a point-ish lower than him in looks.Mid/lower tier women may not be able to even meet their minimum threshold for the intimacy not to be a net-negative if they have to date across in looks. Improving mal…
/r/PurplePillDebate01/02/23 05:13 AM
1

What is the nature of these pairings? Are women going to have fun for their prime years and then kinda beta bux some guy when women hit their 30s? I think a lot of the “fun” is women taking a gamble at trying to date upper tier men — if average women have real opportunities for relationship with men they find decently attractive, I think there will be less “fun” and it will be more short lived. Women are marrying in their late 20s, and probably pairing up with their mate a least a couple of year…
/r/PurplePillDebate31/01/23 02:02 AM
1

I think 75% would be plausible. Much beyond that would be difficult unless you desexualize lower tier pairings as much as possible. Re: the third option— it does makes some sense in theory, but I don’t know how well it would actually work in the U.S. (at least with the men I’ve been exposed to). The majority of non-immigrant guys who struggle with finding women with common morals/beliefs to date are pretty right wing and are not looking to date women abroad due to the cultural difference.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/01/23 11:43 PM
1

I’d say home SMP, but It think it partly depends on how you gauge true value. The average American man probably falls lower than “average” in desirability (not character, resources, but attractiveness-looks/charisma/etc) if compared to historical standards + compared to men in a more traditional/ physical environments. Women have also gotten less attractive— but being fatter and having fewer traditional social outlets still doesn’t hurt women (appearance/social skills) as much as it does men. Wo…
/r/PurplePillDebate30/01/23 11:18 PM
1

My theory is that it’s still to get and keep someone higher value but that youngish men also feel that the local SMP is unfair and that the women abroad are still closer to these men’s real value than most of the women they could get back home
/r/PurplePillDebate30/01/23 10:45 PM
1

“ I have often laughed at the weaklings who thought themselves good because they had no claws. “ I don’t take this quote too literally (and I don’t see normal men as “weaklings” ) but basically, average, modern men can’t get away with appealing too un-decent, as it will really bite them in the ass . Women know this, so they don’t usually give much credence to a man appearing decent unless he is making that choice in spite of a real alternative, fighting for his principles, or, if he is exception…
/r/PurplePillDebate24/01/23 06:06 PM
4

Could you give an example of the craziness?
/r/PurplePillDebate21/01/23 12:44 AM
3

Depends on age, reasoning, and how/if she contributes to the household. Generally, women will care more about this stuff than men, but my boyfriend lived with his parents until his late 20s, and I didn’t mind at all because: He was conscientious/ didnt leave shit around for his parents to pick up, paid his own bills, and was capable and willing to help out with cooking/general cleaning He was working full time and was living with his parents—- who were totally on board with the plan- as opportun…
/r/RedPillWomen19/01/23 12:16 AM
2

In terms of criteria that each gender states they use, or even that is seen 'in the field', men still weight for beauty and youthfulness (not necessarily youth per se). The men I am thinking of are mostly 25 to 35, so even when the women are the exact same age (but most often 1-3 years younger), they are still within the range of being relatively youthful A lot of these RMV factors that do actually seem to matter as well--education, income, etc.--kinda happen because of who men end up associatin…
/r/PurplePillDebate18/01/23 04:25 AM
2

Men are almost all in on youth, fertility, beauty. Even for 'relationship market value' or RMV. As far as female RMV, I see that this has become much less true overtime, at least with UMC-ish Western guys. They are largely selecting women with roughly similar educational attainment, aptitude, and often, backgrounds, even when they have the option to instead trade for “extra” beauty or youth. *Dating down in wealth or concrete professional achievement is still acceptable to them. (Of course the w…
/r/PurplePillDebate18/01/23 02:43 AM
1

Sorry, I think I may have edited my comment while you were writing yours. Not sure what you mean by men insisting on dating across or up in desirability. I think the compromise between greater female selectivity and the widespread monogamy paradigm is that men should date down in terms of relative mate value as ranked amongst one's gender. Like a 50th percentile ranked man, but whatever criteria women use, would match with a 40th percentile mate value woman, by whatever criteria men use. I’m say…
/r/PurplePillDebate18/01/23 02:00 AM
3

It can go beyond that. Sometimes people expect you to yield (“he really likes you. Are you sure you don’t want to give him a chance!?” — and sometimes women do yield. Sometimes if they don’t, he becomes angry and/or she become the jerk. This happens much less now, but it was still a very big thing even through the earlier 2000s. Its a stupid anecdote, but I remember going to a dance with someone I didn’t find very pleasant, because, while he was plucking up the courage to ask me, several people …
/r/PurplePillDebate18/01/23 01:36 AM
2

(Behaviorally) non-attractive men are probably also going to be less strong at the fine-tuning element. I’ve been on the receiving end of bold interest from someone, who was, in a way masculine, but very socially unaware, and it was extremely uncomfortable.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/01/23 09:57 PM
3

This post left me with so many questions. Why the sink? Why did he vomit so profusely that it clogged? Did he attempt to clean it up? If he couldn’t unclog it, is he cool with her sending him the plumber invoice? Did he leave a forwarding address? Where did he run off to? Is he okay?
/r/PurplePillDebate16/01/23 10:24 PM
1

Wait, He ran away leaving me a clogged sink full of vomit?
/r/PurplePillDebate16/01/23 10:11 PM
14

Agree that discernible self-consciousness/nervousness is not a positive attribute in dating , but most successful men who are low inhibition are largely that way because they had favorable traits that enabled them to pull off that behavior, thus reinforcing it. Being low inhibition can emphasize existing positive traits, but it won’t generate them, and being low inhibition If you lack the appeal to back it up can actually appear a little creepy/ draw attention to negative traits.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/01/23 10:47 PM
3

Cuddling is wonderful. It’s a different type of intimacy from sex. I think a lot of women are understandably skeptical that men want to cuddle because they are hoping it will lead to sex/ or arousing contact or may try to use it as subtle way to push boundaries (and some guys just find cuddling to be arousing off the bat).
/r/PurplePillDebate12/01/23 05:49 PM
4

Trying to lay down markers and configure things so that if men and women's needs do seem to be more irreconcilable than thought, there is no way for men to put their desires first again. This is a nightmare-ish prospect for women. Some of the things from even 20 years ago are awful to think about returning to. And we have an increasingly vocal minority group of men trying to discredit women to return to norms from much further back (probably with some misunderstanding of what those norms looked …
/r/PurplePillDebate11/01/23 05:17 PM
1

-unromantic -inattentive/ appearing disinterested in me as a person (I think this is a fairly common cause of marital unhappiness/ divorce- a lot of people feel their partner isn’t very interested in their thoughts or opinions) -big difference in morals or desired lifestyle. I.e. if he decided he really wanted kids, or started engaging in behavior I couldn’t tolerate even if it wasn’t directed toward me
/r/PurplePillDebate11/01/23 05:54 AM
7

Good comment. I do want to say (and I know it sounds negative) but most people who are larger tend to stay large/tend to regain weight if they lose it, so it is a huge gamble to date him if you don’t want to be with a big guy
/r/RedPillWomen10/01/23 11:41 PM
1

Agree with the concept of a rolling peak. Young women are more sensitive and critical when it comes to signs of decline, but are more forgiving when it comes to signs of boyishness. A young man being in a state of ascension holds a lot of appeal to them.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/01/23 04:56 PM
1

Balding/beginning of grays, more guys getting fat, worse skin (mainly brow and eye creasing + hyperpigmentation/ ruddiness) and teeth get worse. Most of these traits (other than the hair) don’t individually stand out very much, but the combination contributes to an overall impression of declining vitality.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/01/23 10:29 AM
1

In terms of Caucasian men, at least in a first world country, I think the majority peak between 22 and 27, with a fairly noticeable decline in looks starting in the later 20s. Elite men may continue to discernibly (positively) physically develop into the late 20s, but for most men, the unfavorable signs of aging will trump any positive changes in the late 20s (from a pure sexual attractiveness standpoint, a lot of valuable personal growth can still occur — but it’s generally not of the variety t…
/r/PurplePillDebate09/01/23 10:09 AM
1

A man having concrete resources will appeal to women from a functional standpoint, but doesn’t actual do a ton in the way of inspiring lust. The personality traits that actually generate desire are pretty much in place by 25 (and in most cases, earlier). Past 25, most men aren’t getting any more attractive from a non-looks standpoint (I know we hold different opinions in terms of male peak looks).
/r/PurplePillDebate09/01/23 07:37 AM
1

I’d go a little older- like 22-27 (but definitely not 30) for the vast majority of men. Men will obviously accrue more in the way of actual resources past this point, but the personality traits that actually generate desire are pretty much in place by 25 (and in most cases, earlier). Elite men may continue to discernibly physically develop into the late 20s, but for most men, the unfavorable signs of aging will trump any positive changes in the late 20s (from a pure sexual attractiveness standpo…
/r/PurplePillDebate09/01/23 07:26 AM
2

How dare we allow women access to gainful employment!
/r/PurplePillDebate07/01/23 12:22 AM
3

He must make a killing at assisted living facilities
/r/PurplePillDebate02/01/23 10:49 PM
2

A woman’s class and being able to adequately “keep up” (not just with their social circle, but with him) plays an enormous role in the mate choices of UMC-ish and rich men.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/01/23 04:27 PM
2

If she’s adequately attractive to the man in question, it absolutely can. Successful UMC guys will often marry an educated, decent earning 6 over a 8 with a high school degree and a low income, and will treat her better on top of that.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/01/23 04:22 PM
33

I would suspect most of the folks with this perspective would not like the impact that lack of abortion access would have upon mens overall sexual access.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/12/22 08:52 PM
2

I understand what you are getting at, but the bottom line is that relationships work best when people find their partner adequately attractive, and average looking or less attractive women may not find guys who looks worse than them to meet their minimum attractiveness threshold, and might just rather be single.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/12/22 01:50 AM
–

A lot still work, it’s just not very gainful employment and may be at weird hours/ when family or support network can help watch the kids
/r/PurplePillDebate30/12/22 01:12 AM
2

Some women accuse men of padding their hours at work--including unnecessary socializing, etc.--so as to appear to be working longer to avoid chores at home. A possibility. What about the reverse? . Men knowingly doing housework in more leisurely / less productive way, while women are doing more thorough or intensive work that may also involve multitasking to manage the home/family.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/12/22 10:36 PM
2

A similar proportion to the number of top guys who exhibit negative chad-like tendencies— which I would guess to be around a third to half of them.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/12/22 10:15 PM
2

The term low/high value usually refers to sexual desirability, so I’d say most women who are extremely physically unattractive would be considered low value. I’ve met people that would fall in to this category who were great human beings as well as those who were the polar opposite.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/12/22 11:04 PM
2

Have you ever had a gay best friend? Yes If yes, what made them a good friend ? I found him to be a good person, we had a good rapport and enjoyed hanging out, and we had sufficient common interests Did you relate to them differently as you would regular men? Yes. I could be a lot more open and emotionally close without worrying about the potential for sexual/romantic feelings. I felt more secure in the friendship knowing that those factors weren’t influencing his desire to spend time with me. D…
/r/PurplePillDebate17/12/22 06:31 PM
2

I’m in a happy relationship, so not actively dating, but I’ve found overall that I get checked out less, but get more sincere seeming interest. Fewer people are single in our 30s, but among those that are single, a greater proportion seem to be seeking serious relationships than when we were all in our early 20s. I did get interest from people in their 30s when I was younger, but it was of a very different nature than the interest I get now that I am a part of that age group.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/12/22 06:18 PM
6

The main reason young women date older (when it does happen) is security/provisioning. Young women who don’t want commitment are going to be even less inclined/satisfied to go for older men, since they don’t care about the security/ provision element, and they care a lot that the person they spend time with is hot and fun (from a 20-something year old’s perspective) — which is where an age mate is going to have a huge advantage over an older person.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/12/22 10:20 PM
3

Look inward, understand why you did this, and work on yourself so it never happens again. If you do this, most men will forgive a mistake you made when you were 20. If it becomes a pattern, many will not. Assuming this never happens again, I’d tell a prospective partner when things are getting serious. This is private information, you don’t need to volunteer it on a second date.
/r/RedPillWomen14/12/22 02:07 AM
3

This is significant as women from low-sociosexuality nations like India have been proven not to exhibit AFBB, which means they sexualize and romanticize the stable nice guy rather than giving the unstable douchebag her best. That’s not necessarily what it means. I understand being drawn to a group with potentially less AFBB behavior, but that doesn’t mean the women in that group actually find the stable men who are low in “good genes” to be sexually appealing.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/12/22 01:40 AM
2

Average looking chubby girls-yes, to an extent. Clearly attractive girls who are also chubby will usually still be fairly selective. That girl seems to have a cute, appropriately sized face and top half, + a big bottom half, which is sort of an ideal for a lot of people— someone like her could be more selective than a thin girl who is otherwise average.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/12/22 02:13 AM
3

People in relationships really need tougher boundaries with opposite sex friendships and to be ready to let the friend go or take a big step back if either partner cannot keep the relationship with aromantic . Going on a double date—fine. Talking on the phone at midnight about your actual partner—not fine. It’s risky and has the potential to detract emotional energy/ effort from your real relationship. Significant emotional intimacy should, as much as possible, be reserved for your partner, and …
/r/PurplePillDebate23/11/22 04:16 PM
2

Finding someone with whom you can be very close friends is important, and often overlooked, but it’s also key not to overlook other factors (ex: romantic and physical chemistry, compatible life goals). There are also certain dynamics within a romantic relationship that differ from a normal friendship, which need to taken into account even if you are very close with you partner (ex: avoiding behaviors that would be a turn off to a partner even if a friend wouldn’t care, managing different boundar…
/r/PurplePillDebate23/11/22 04:03 PM
1

I think that we would have to do a lot better than in the past. We relied so much on telling them to keep it quiet and heavily shaming women, and that approach is no longer viable. Top men are no longer untouchable and they will have to do their part if we want a reasonably healthy dating landscape. Religion or some kind of proxy would be helpful, and I think a lot of people want to believe badly enough that they are will to pretend a bit. A lot of Jews are this way— they love their heritage, th…
/r/PurplePillDebate17/11/22 10:23 PM
1

I don’t think its the only factor at play, but if you have guys who are 8s giving 6s the impression that they might be able to have a relationship, those women are going to be a lot less interested in guys who are 7s, which could then feel like dating down or laterally. Basically, I think it skews womens’- at least young womens’ perception of their league and/or baseline requirements for men.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/11/22 05:47 PM
2

The more life is about deeper pleasures like family, community, religiosity (but not necessarily what we have thought of as religion before), etc. the more the genders can be truly complementary and there are win win ways to bring more men and women together. Agreed. I also think a healthier culture can help with managing whatever level of male sexless we do end up with. I actually think we need to focus on managing over-sexualized media and the behavior of the top men who are very promiscuous/m…
/r/PurplePillDebate17/11/22 05:13 PM
1

What proportion do you think is realistic?
/r/PurplePillDebate17/11/22 12:36 AM
–

Can you link?
/r/PurplePillDebate17/11/22 12:17 AM
2

I think the second theory is probably like 75% of it. If we went back 100 years, but changed the conditions such that staying single was not socially/ financially prohibitive for women, many would have chosen not pairing up, over pairing with the men regarded as their equivalent.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/11/22 12:07 AM
3

If he still finds her adequately attractive and likes her, then sure. If he finds her actively unattractive or dislikes her, then no— it would be a disservice to both parties.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/11/22 05:32 PM
8

Even if he weren’t cruel or abusive, I wouldn’t want to make the non-financial concessions in partner choice that would likely be necessary in order to get someone who could completely provide for my current standard of living. I also don’t like the idea of being in relationship where one person holds that much financial power over another. Id rather work.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/11/22 10:28 PM
13

I would not want my financial security to be dependent on being with a man of a certain economic status. -What if I mutually love someone who couldn’t support us? -What if the man who could support me and wants to me with me, is cruel or very unappealing in another way? I also don’t desire to be a homemaker or mother, which is what one would usually be expected to contribute if they were not brining in money.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/11/22 10:06 PM
5

Maybe join some kind of group (like something charity based) that is supported by a church/temple/etc., but for which religious membership is not a requirement
/r/RedPillWomen14/11/22 05:27 PM
5

Are you at all religious ? If so, there’s a lot of faith based communities both online and in person.
/r/RedPillWomen14/11/22 03:57 PM
1

It is definitely possible for one gender to be more attractive in some objective sense, but this is also hard to quantify. I’m sort of puzzled by how many people seem to think it’s impossible, or, at best implausible.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/11/22 06:07 PM
1

No, I don’t think most men are ugly. I do think the average women is more visually attractive than the average man though.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/11/22 10:11 PM
2

Cuddly cats > almost everything
/r/PurplePillDebate09/11/22 08:39 PM
1

I see this most in younger folks with some social difficulties- it’s less common than with women, but sometimes the gender-flipped version happens too— usually it’s passive, feminine, or somewhat awkward guys, who are easily looked over or worse, picked on by male peers, and end up with almost exclusively female friends Of course, some are also attention seeking or trying to distract from the fact that they already burned bridges with the same-sex people in their environment, so friendship isn’t…
/r/PurplePillDebate01/11/22 10:19 PM
4

I dont really see this, although it makes a lot of sense that it would be more prevalent in certain demographics or in the past when we sort of romanticized older male/provider and younger/vulnerable women relationships. Today I find that older men who pair with younger women are initially very drawn and enthusiastic, but have less long term romantic interest and affection for their partner than do men who pair with adequately attractive women who are closer in age. Long term, they seem to “like…
/r/PurplePillDebate28/10/22 04:55 PM
11

Cute! It’s a more holistic compliment and one I can identify with more than hot.
/r/RedPillWomen27/10/22 04:20 PM
7

You hit the nail on the head.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/10/22 11:42 PM
–

Do.it.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/10/22 10:45 PM
6

Making fun of either is cruel. Weight/physique is a bit complicated . Agree that height shaming shouldn’t get a pass. People are allowed to have their preferences but discretion is favorable when possible.
/r/RedPillWomen14/10/22 08:20 PM
1

Sort of— I’ve seen a couple of people get turned down by someone they like because they were put off by the specifics of their recent sexual history, but it wasn’t really about the number
/r/PurplePillDebate07/10/22 09:53 PM
1

Why would the fibromyalgia be a deal breaker?
/r/PurplePillDebate03/10/22 11:27 PM
1

First one: no Second one: no, assuming he was really considerate to avoid making a mess, when possible.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/10/22 11:27 PM
1

Could you give an example?
/r/RedPillWomen27/09/22 09:53 PM
3

Maybe you could maybe take a humorous, light approach or a just give a general answer with the information you feel comfortable disclosing? Ex: if she asked about your wedding night, you could say something like; we had such a great time! We went to the holiday Inn, swam in the pool, and had the best chocolate sundae. Have you ever gone there with your family? Then, if she asks a more explicit question, you could playfully say something like: excuse you young lady, your not supposed to ask that!…
/r/RedPillWomen27/09/22 04:30 PM
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