DearExquise Archive

Upvotes	Title	Category	Author	Subreddit	Date (UTC)

Upvotes	Comment on	Subreddit	Date (UTC)
0	Does this Women’s Aid statement come across as dismissive of male victims, or am I reading too much into it? I do not care. Lesbian on lesbian violence has nothing to do with men or male victims.	/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates	26/04/26 03:37 PM
0	Does this Women’s Aid statement come across as dismissive of male victims, or am I reading too much into it? That statement is not supported by the data. Again, weaponizing violence among lesbians does not uplift male victims.	/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates	26/04/26 03:16 PM
0	Does this Women’s Aid statement come across as dismissive of male victims, or am I reading too much into it? According to that same report from 2010: « Across all types of violence, the majority of female victims reported that their perpetrators were male. » But yes, some studies suggest that IPV among gay male couples and lesbian couples are comparable to heterosexual couples. I suspect that rates of male victimization (both gay and straight) are higher than reflected in the numbers due to the shame of reporting and lack of support for male victims. I don’t understand why anyone here would be so enthu…	/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates	26/04/26 03:13 PM
0	Does this Women’s Aid statement come across as dismissive of male victims, or am I reading too much into it? I never claimed violence is the lowest in lesbian couples & I wasn’t referring to this graph (which I’ve never even seen until now).	/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates	26/04/26 02:02 PM
1	Does this Women’s Aid statement come across as dismissive of male victims, or am I reading too much into it? From your first source: ...lesbian women were more likely than gay men to report having been in an abusive same-sex relationship (41% and 28% respectively) More likely to report. We know that violence against men is underreported. A 13% difference is hardly eyebrow-raising. From your second source: survey found that 21.5% of men and 35.4% of women reporting a history of cohabitation with a same-sex partner had experienced physical abuse in their lifetimes; the corresponding rates for men and wom…	/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates	26/04/26 10:23 AM
1	Does this Women’s Aid statement come across as dismissive of male victims, or am I reading too much into it? Hiya. You're making a lot of assumptions about me and what I believe, which is understandable given how these conversations usually go online. I do not ascribe to the belief that men are all violent or women are always the victim. That's why I'm not in the feminist subreddits because like the MRA sub and this one, it's an echo chamber. If you look through my comments here, I say multiple times that YES women can be violent and that YES men can be victims. I also acknowledged that male victims la…	/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates	26/04/26 08:59 AM
1	Does this Women’s Aid statement come across as dismissive of male victims, or am I reading too much into it? If you say so.	/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates	25/04/26 06:33 PM
-3	Does this Women’s Aid statement come across as dismissive of male victims, or am I reading too much into it? If a lesbian experienced IPV from a male perpetrator, yes, it means that violence was from a relationship with a man, before dating women.	/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates	25/04/26 06:33 PM
2	Does this Women’s Aid statement come across as dismissive of male victims, or am I reading too much into it? Thank you for sharing this :) I’ll look into these studies when I have a moment. I appreciate you sharing data instead of insulting me.	/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates	25/04/26 04:27 PM
1	Does this Women’s Aid statement come across as dismissive of male victims, or am I reading too much into it? How can I possibly know why lesbian women have experienced more violence than heterosexual women? If I had to guess, homophobia probably plays a role. There's no way to accurately measure that since what you are asking me for is a qualitative explanation, not something that is quantifiable. I don't understand the point between comparing violence between gay male couples and lesbian couples, anyway, unless you are trying to attempt some "gotcha" that suggests women are somehow more violent than m…	/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates	25/04/26 01:42 PM
-1	Does this Women’s Aid statement come across as dismissive of male victims, or am I reading too much into it? I guess we’re all talking out of our asses, then, because if you read the original comment I replied to, OP didn’t share any sources or data, either! Neither did you! Have a good one!	/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates	25/04/26 12:55 PM
0	Does this Women’s Aid statement come across as dismissive of male victims, or am I reading too much into it? Corrective violence doesn’t imply that the woman threatened to leave her male partner. It refers to violence (particularly sexual violence) against lesbian women in order to "make them straight." Your vision of what his healthy or acceptable in a relationship is troubling. Threatening to break up is emotional manipulation. If something isn’t working in the relationship, it’s important to share one’s feelings and work together on a solution. Threatening to leave as a way of getting one’s needs me…	/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates	25/04/26 12:16 PM
0	Does this Women’s Aid statement come across as dismissive of male victims, or am I reading too much into it? I edited my comment before I saw your response. I’m not sure why you are so antagonistic. I’m not insulting you or anyone. You seem to believe I hate men or have some axe to grind with men in general. I don’t. I never said women are wonderful and can’t be abusive, or that men are bad and always violent. Yes, statistically, men are more likely to be both victims and perpetrators of violence. That’s just a fact. Male victims are also less likely to come forward and less likely to receive support o…	/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates	25/04/26 12:07 PM
1	Does this Women’s Aid statement come across as dismissive of male victims, or am I reading too much into it? I don’t care about divorce rates. I’ve read that they are higher among lesbian couples and don’t refute that. It is irrelevant to the topic of domestic violence. What is the second link supposed to prove? It seems like you didn’t actually read it. Why studies disagree: methodological and definitional problems Comparisons are complicated because studies use different definitions of IPV (physical, sexual, psychological, stalking), mix lifetime and recent measures, draw on convenience or probabilit…	/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates	25/04/26 11:35 AM
1	Does this Women’s Aid statement come across as dismissive of male victims, or am I reading too much into it? I’ll let you address my entire response.	/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates	25/04/26 11:25 AM
2	Does this Women’s Aid statement come across as dismissive of male victims, or am I reading too much into it? You made the first claim, so yeah, there is a burden of proof on you. I NEVER discounted male victims. I have said numerous times that there are male victims and female perpetrators. I know several men who have been physically/sexually abused in various situations, and the shame they carry around it is heartbreaking to see. While the statistics overwhelmingly show that men are most likely to be both victims of and perpetrators of violence I don’t take that to mean men are all violent or that wom…	/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates	25/04/26 10:53 AM
0	Does this Women’s Aid statement come across as dismissive of male victims, or am I reading too much into it? OP didn’t share any data for his claim, either. He said the rate of DV is higher among lesbians than gay men without any actual number or source. You also didn’t provide any data. I’m not making any claims about gay male relationships. I’m not uncomfortable with anything. Data is data. I like to see all of it, and so far, from what I’ve seen there isn’t much out there. Most studies comparing IPV based on sexual orientation are old or have small sample sizes. I am not lesbian, so I don’t have a d…	/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates	25/04/26 10:07 AM
3	Does this Women’s Aid statement come across as dismissive of male victims, or am I reading too much into it? I don’t get my information from instagram reels. Right now you are forming a hypothesis and presenting it as fact. Insulting me doesn’t make your argument stronger. I didn’t say that all violence against lesbian women come from previous male partners, btw. Someone asked how it would be possible for lesbians to be abused by male partners if they are lesbian. I merely pointed out that many lesbian date men before accepting their sexuality. Furthermore, your hypothesis about "the number going down …	/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates	25/04/26 09:46 AM
0	Does this Women’s Aid statement come across as dismissive of male victims, or am I reading too much into it? I did answer. I said it’s hard to discuss and compare statistics without seeing any actual statistics. I’m not going to debate imaginary numbers that haven’t even been defined. What are the rates of DV in lesbian relationships vs herero? What is counted as DV? I never said lesbians were exclusively abused my men. Obviously there are women who abuse women and women who abuse men. And no, divorce rates (which you haven’t shared) aren’t relavent. Divorce rates tell us nothing about the prevalence o…	/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates	25/04/26 09:43 AM
-6	Does this Women’s Aid statement come across as dismissive of male victims, or am I reading too much into it? It would be helpful to see some studies, for sure. Unfortunately most of the studies I have seen shared are either too old to be relevant or have very small sample sizes. Your theory about women threatening to leave for a woman is… troubling. Besides the fact that it’s a completely made up scenario, it also puts the onus on the victim. Threatening to leave a relationship is a shitty thing to do, and I’d qualify it as emotional blackmail, but it is absolutely not a reason by someone would abuse a…	/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates	25/04/26 09:32 AM
-1	Does this Women’s Aid statement come across as dismissive of male victims, or am I reading too much into it? Divorce rates aren’t relevant to this discussion. The topic is domestic violence, not longevity of relationships. It’s hard to have a discussion about various DV rates when you haven’t shared any specific numbers or the sources where you got those numbers.	/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates	25/04/26 09:17 AM
0	Does this Women’s Aid statement come across as dismissive of male victims, or am I reading too much into it? What are the rates of DV in male gay couples?	/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates	25/04/26 08:33 AM
-16	Does this Women’s Aid statement come across as dismissive of male victims, or am I reading too much into it? I don't believe that DV is only perpetrated by men against women. I know men who have been abused by women, and vice versa. I understand why you'd be defensive and assume I am trying to downplay male victims - but I assure you, I'm not. I'm curious to see where you got this stat that 2/3rds of lesbian victims of DV were abused exclusively by female perpetrators. Do you have a link you could share? I don't have any "position." What do you mean "practical implications?" It sounds like you, like an…	/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates	25/04/26 08:32 AM
-11	Does this Women’s Aid statement come across as dismissive of male victims, or am I reading too much into it? I am not talking about myself or "my sexuality." I don't even know what you mean by "my kind." There's no need to make this personal. I am not defending violence perpetrated by anyone. I'm only pointing out that this statistic has been misrepresented. If you have some studies to share that demonstrate otherwise, I'd be happy to see them. I am not attached to any narrative. Many lesbian women date men before dating women, usually because they haven't accepted their sexuality, so that would explai…	/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates	25/04/26 08:26 AM
-33	Does this Women’s Aid statement come across as dismissive of male victims, or am I reading too much into it? Lesbian relationships do not have the highest DV rates. This stat constantly gets misrepresented. People in lesbian relationships have the highest rate of domestic violence at some point in their lifetime. The majority of perpetrators of violence against lesbian women are male.	/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates	25/04/26 07:59 AM