DeedIndeed Archive

Upvotes	Title	Category	Author	Subreddit	Date (UTC)

Upvotes	Comment on	Subreddit	Date (UTC)
1	Paid my lawyer $1,800 to compare two custody proposals. Built the tool I wish I'd had. I concur. You can build an entire dashboard that auto-tracks everything at this point for $20/mo using Claude Code. It’s magical.	/r/Divorce_Men	24/07/26 10:58 PM
2	I wasn’t the problem “Hello me, meet the real ME!” 🤣	/r/Divorce_Men	18/07/26 05:22 PM
6	I wasn’t the problem Hello, me! Nice to meet you 🤣 Sounds like I wrote this about my situation. From beginning to end…same same. Good luck, brother	/r/Divorce_Men	14/07/26 09:49 PM
1	Supposed to hookup with a girl soon, only ever been with one person. The man has had one partner his whole sexual life, and has been divorced. He needs to find himself and be ok with being alone. Nobody has to rush into the nightmare of marriage / divorce again. The percentages are against you in second marriage. I also believe he needs to experience how amazing sex can be with different women if you’ve been faithful to only one. I was in a similar situation. After 16 years, and thinking I was having the best sex…boy I was I mistaken. I’ve only been with two post…	/r/Divorce_Men	09/07/26 09:03 PM
6	Supposed to hookup with a girl soon, only ever been with one person. Hahaha! Firstly, don’t marry her afterwards. Prepare for a better experience. Enjoy the moment, and look forward to more experiences.	/r/Divorce_Men	09/07/26 01:18 PM
8	I’m bitter, angry, and want people to agree that I was treated badly. Yes. We hear you here. As Routine_Bee9663 stated, nobody cares and a lot of people will not believe you. It’s a terrible circumstance many of us have endured. It feels like hell for a long time (different for everybody). But what you have to do is 1) be there for your kids and show resilience to them; 2) get your mind and body right (gym/exercise/meditation/etc); 3) reconnect with those that have stuck it through and pay it forward to them (these are your truest friends and family and build from…	/r/Divorce_Men	05/07/26 01:03 PM
1	Sister Cheated, Wife and Daughter Exploded, My Marriage Is Ending You have to re-edit your script a bit. Your sister’s career is interesting to say the least. 1) starts career in medicine + businesses she’s started 2) not sure what happens to her job in Update 1 3) is a pediatric neurosurgeon in Update 2 You’re kind of a fly on the wall narrator who just allows all the drama unfold around him without actually doing anything. You don’t stand up for anybody, including yourself, and you kind of play victim who will go through divorce from his wife and child and k…	/r/Divorce_Men	03/07/26 02:08 PM
1	Spinning the block You’re correct. I do have a therapist. He is older. Been a social worker for 3 decades in NYC. I’ve had him for 5 years. He’s great. He suggested I started to work on meeting new people and not commit…but is working on why I decide to be an open book and dive in too deep too quickly. He says my red flag reading sucks 😆 (not his words). I’m working on it. I lived with one woman for 5 years in my 20s and then married my ex at 29 (45m), so when I met both these beautiful women after my ex and had b…	/r/Divorce_Men	03/07/26 01:23 PM
3	UPDATE: Just had the talk Our exes are either the same person or they belong to the same WhatsApp group chat 🤣. The good news for me is the Shock & Awe of it all when it went down broke me down and cut so deep and had to crawl out of the depths of such nasty sewage spew that I have 0.0 feelings for that person and look at 16 years of my life and thank the powers that be that I got two diamonds out of it in my kids. Outside of that, it’s carbon dust. The repercussions of it, however, is I look at every new potential relat…	/r/Divorce_Men	03/07/26 05:47 AM
1	Judge ruling on case died Wow. So you were moments away…and he died. And we all know that every judge is completely different from the last. Good luck, brother. Give us an update when all said and done.	/r/Divorce_Men	03/07/26 05:37 AM
7	UPDATE: Just had the talk Yep. This. All of it. BE PREPARED TO MEET THE PERSON WHO ACTUALLY OCCUPIES THE BODY YOU ONCE CALLED YOUR WIFE. Good luck. Edit: how old are your kids?	/r/Divorce_Men	03/07/26 05:24 AM
1	Spinning the block Yes. I told you I have to save me from my self. I fully admit I’m a moron.	/r/Divorce_Men	01/07/26 12:13 PM
13	Divorce is finalized Great advice. Men on this thread need this, because they will use law enforcement - in my case local, CPS in two states, FBI, Attorneys General, and state police - to construct absolutely insane abuse stories and had to battle multiple potential PFAs (one I couldn’t see my kids or talk in any capacity to for 19 days). There are playbooks out there for them where they use counselors on Domestic Violence hotlines to walk them through the process. This is not a game to them, this is a reality that …	/r/Divorce_Men	01/07/26 05:38 AM
2	Please someone tell me it gets better. Yes. But you have to prioritize yourself and find a way to reconcile with the idea that she may not have thought the same about you. Harsh! My apologies. However, once you prioritize yourself, perhaps get some therapy, go to the gym, meditate, get back in touch with old friends you may have left behind a bit, maybe get a dog (if you don’t have one), and get into a hobby (whether old or new), you will find peace again. It takes a long time. A lot of sitting in the sh!t river and grief. But it get…	/r/Divorce_Men	30/06/26 11:19 PM
3	Spinning the block Oh, I got the ‘these are expensive organic avocados’ when she gave them to me in a brown paper bag as well. “I only give these to people I really like.” I was happy with the avocados, because my kids and I love making guac, but I didn’t need the Shark Tank spiel.	/r/Divorce_Men	30/06/26 11:07 AM
1	Spinning the block 🥑 🥑	/r/Divorce_Men	30/06/26 11:05 AM
2	Dating as a divorced dad with a kid Ah, interesting. I don’t want to date a woman who doesn’t have a kid, because I’m afraid that person can’t possibly understand my situation as primary. A woman without kids lives a far more carefree with an open schedule. I make it clear I’m not looking for a mother to my kids. I got the parenting. Right now, I’m looking to have some fun with my 47 seconds of free time. I have dated two wonderful women that were wanting to push farther than I did (I’ve posted in other threads about this). I’m no…	/r/Divorce_Men	29/06/26 09:41 PM
11	Spinning the block Firstly, I was over 2 hours from either one, so I had only seen one of them 5 times in person and the other 3 times. Yes, I had sex with both. The first one started the ‘love bombing’ on the second time. And once that came out, it was like we were in a full on relationship even though a high conflict divorce which was loud and clear. She wanted to travel the world. Me cook and cater only to her schedule. I was like, hey, did you forget I’m in a high conflict situation and have primary? She flipp…	/r/Divorce_Men	29/06/26 01:32 AM
23	Spinning the block Yes. I agree with staying alone. I’ve even dated incredible women over the last 6 months or so…women I would’ve married prior to getting married over 16 years ago. I end up hitting a brick wall with a giant warning sign that says, “What the F are you doing? Stop! Turn around and go back to safety.” What I was finding was even the women I was dating wanted something (and then more and more and more) from me even after a few months and I was realizing that the only thing I was asking for was frien…	/r/Divorce_Men	29/06/26 01:14 AM
2	It's very lonely being a single guy I hate the gym, but it works. Every time I try to procrastinate or push it away, the moment I leave it, I’m always happy I went. Coaching a sport also helps. I like helping the community, and if you have kids, it’s nice to help. It also keeps you connected to the community, and can find additional exercise in coaching.	/r/Divorce_Men	27/06/26 11:37 AM
1	A year after my divorce, I noticed something funny. Congrats on the life change. I agree with that feeling and finding ‘me’ again. It is healthy. Re: app, there are already similar things like meetup as somebody posted, but the dating apps already have the option of placing ‘Active’ or frequency of the gym, and Hinge allows you to make a poll where you can say “Instead of coffee, how about we…” and people often fill that in with “Go for a walk,”…or whatever they’d like to do. This can all be achieved in your profile intro as well with simple line…	/r/Divorce_Men	27/06/26 03:57 AM
2	My wife has made 3 major life decisions over 10 years that have financially devastated our family. I love her, but I no longer trust her judgment. So he wants a wife with a PhD to have the higher paying job and take care of 3 kids… Again, not sure there’s the element of love. Seems like utility more than marriage.	/r/Divorce_Men	17/06/26 09:34 PM
6	My wife has made 3 major life decisions over 10 years that have financially devastated our family. I love her, but I no longer trust her judgment. I’m probably going to comment on both your posts in the divorce groups… What others have not deduced in asking or pointing out is it sounds like you have 3 children under age 6, no? Is she taking care of all three kids? Your entire conversation is about finances and not about the reality of raising 3 young children in different countries. Being a planner or goal-setter 5-10 years out is always rooted in fantasy, mainly because you’re not capable of planning for the unplanned. Were 3 kids planned…	/r/Divorce_Men	17/06/26 07:40 PM
4	Dating Again Love this assessment. I am one of these people - cynical. I don’t want long-term or want to build anything (at this point) at all. I love hard, but have lost all trust in long-term relationships. I am very biased - still going through high-conflict divorce and have primary custody because my ex (wife of 15 yrs) decided to go nuclear on me and my kids. I am clear in my dating - friendship/casual - yet I’ve met two women in 6 months who want to build a life with me after meeting them less than 5 t…	/r/Divorce_Men	05/06/26 12:24 PM
1	I just don’t like anyone anymore… Yup. Broken a couple hearts already - they literally told me they loved me - and I just went cold. I hated hearing those words. No longer wanted to hear a woman tell me those words, because I almost instantly lost trust. I am seeing somebody now, but she’s already alluding to more, and I, like you, just want to be home with my kids. I have the most complicated situation possible so I can’t date easily, so I have an out…and I enjoy that. If I were more accessible, I probably wouldn’t date at all.…	/r/Divorce_Men	17/04/26 04:11 AM
1	Getting intimate with new people sucks. You know the deal!	/r/Divorce_Men	13/04/26 01:39 PM
2	I (27M) have been having trouble connecting with women since my divorce. It’s been a year. A lot to process. You need therapy. Best advice I can ever give. You were young and impressionable, and now think at a damned young age that she was the only one for you. You are truly wrong about that fact. She left you easily. She won’t be there for you in a medical emergency, she won’t bring you chicken noodle soup when you’re sick, because she decided the guy at work was better for her. This is what happened. Try dating an older woman just for the experience. Be curious. As…	/r/Divorce_Men	13/04/26 11:43 AM
4	Getting intimate with new people sucks. No, actually I had to change my dating sources, rather than search locally. If I searched locally (rural PA), I’d have great grandmothers aged 48-55 to choose from that would use me as target practice with their AR-15s if i f-ed up. I only date in NYC or Philly, a couple hours away from me so I equally don’t sh*t where I eat. Most women in my age range just had a kid, or some haven’t at all, and they’ve prioritized themselves for a lot longer. I’ve had to help myself by exercising, losing weight…	/r/Divorce_Men	13/04/26 08:53 AM
19	Getting intimate with new people sucks. (45m) I’ve met beautiful, intelligent, incredible women who I’d have married had I not ever married in my life. I’m an idiot romantic. I go hard quickly and they fall in love with me and then I hate it. It starts to get casual and then all the hidden control or expectations kick in and I’m triggered right back into the feelings that wound up me getting a divorce. So I end it like a light switch, which shocks the hell out of them, and then I feel like crap because I don’t want to hurt anybody. I …	/r/Divorce_Men	13/04/26 04:51 AM
1	Lust blinds men …and by then, it’s way too late.	/r/Divorce_Men	11/04/26 07:28 AM
2	Gentlemen, I need some help A lawyer would have and still can help you with all your issues. Are they expensive? Yes. Worth it to navigate the system? Also, yes. Make sure you get somebody that is great in the county’s system. Lawyers who are at the courthouse every day and know all the judges’ ways will help a lot more than you think. An outside lawyer will not have that experience and may not know the county’s laws the same. Good luck. Nightmare.	/r/Divorce_Men	10/04/26 02:26 PM
3	We had our therapy intake session today All that chest pain. All those worries. Everything you’re describing. All goes away once those papers are signed. I hear no love or even a single reason why you’re still there… Get out. Get mentally, physically, and spiritually right, get some strange and experience a life where you actually take the wheel back and put it into cruise control with your very own soundtrack. Life gets better.	/r/Divorce_Men	10/04/26 11:47 AM
1	We had our therapy intake session today Hahahahahahaha! Brilliant	/r/Divorce_Men	10/04/26 11:45 AM
3	Would you invest more on your second marriage? Why? I’m a frickin helpless romantic. I love the company of a woman. So would I get married again? Nope. 😂 I’m still in divorce process from first, so I’m fresh and biased. It’s been over a year and 3 months into the process and not even close to a hearing. I’ve dated a woman for a couple months. Great woman. Met a lot of great women. I’m not marrying again. I have two incredible kids, and I’m just prioritizing our home and life navigating this - they don’t know I am dating other women.	/r/Divorce_Men	08/04/26 08:13 PM
1	Does anyone forget they used to be married? (45m with primary of 2 kids nearly 14 and 11) I can’t say I have the same feeling fully, but there is an existential part of me that flickers daily where I question whether or not new relationships can carry any weight in general. I had a woman tell me she loved me like a couple months into dating (my high conflict divorce is still not finalized after over a year and 3 months), and one moment of her anger quickly triggered me to cut the entire relationship off with no remorse. It was surprisingl…	/r/Divorce_Men	08/04/26 01:54 PM
1	Does anyone forget they used to be married? Hahaha! Funny, not funny. Just relatable 🤝	/r/Divorce_Men	08/04/26 01:47 PM
2	Dating women with kids The question is: what is dating a woman like without kids when you have kids? I think that scenario is actually more difficult to navigate.	/r/Divorce_Men	08/04/26 11:35 AM
1	Dating women with kids This is 💯	/r/Divorce_Men	08/04/26 11:33 AM
2	How to be alone Agree with first poster on gym and getting yourself right. It’s going to take time to shed that skin of dependence you have. You may realize that those 26 years that started when you were barely an adult shaped you into an antisocial person, and that there’s a big ass world out there that has a lot to offer with many beautiful women who can teach you new ways of being. And the best part, you don’t have to settle, and shouldn’t. Live a life you’ve never given yourself an opportunity to live. You’…	/r/Divorce_Men	08/04/26 04:05 AM
2	Sick of the constant thoughts It gets better. You sound early stages. You’ve probably read the mantras: eat, sleep, exercise, look forward. Can’t stress the exercise part out enough in the beginning stages - it clears the mind, even if you’re not an avid athletic type or active person. Also; I recommend repositioning your outcome on your son and take control of potential positives rather than negatives. I have primary after truly insane circumstances, and it’s easy to think negatively, but it doesn’t have to be the case. Adv…	/r/Divorce_Men	07/04/26 10:32 PM
1	Leaving after divorce I guess I didn’t understand the single mom’s aspect considering he’s happy with his now wife and kids.	/r/Divorce_Men	04/04/26 02:17 AM
2	Leaving after divorce This is a good post for another thread, perhaps, but the OP got married again and is happier because he married the person he wanted to. He was asking a legitimate question about leaving his first family (sons included), and wondering if anybody else did the same.	/r/Divorce_Men	04/04/26 02:12 AM
3	Divorced after 6 months of marriage. 34 years old. Feeling like I missed my shot at a real family. Ah, 6 months!?!? First things first. Go get your mind and body right. You don’t have kids, which is a positive for dating, because you’re free and able to adjust your schedule. Exercise. Got to make yourself feel good in mind, body, and spirit so you have a clear understanding of who you are and what you need in your next relationship. Next, be more cautious about initial red flags and don’t settle for somebody that likes you and pays attention to you for the first period of time. Make sure your…	/r/Divorce_Men	02/04/26 12:21 PM
2	It’s better… I’m going to add one caveat to this re: new girlfriend to others. Don’t settle. I went through complete hell with my ex and took me a year to feel ok. I started dating and met who I thought was amazing - all those things my ex wasn’t - and things were fantasy-like for a few months until it wasn’t. Learn from the red flags you had previously and be cautious of new red flags you would’ve avoided previously. Enjoy yourself. Be kind to yourself. But also don’t fall into a new relationship because yo…	/r/Divorce_Men	31/03/26 09:57 AM
11	Gentelment, how long does it take to a divorced woman to realize that her life has changed and now she has to be accountable for herself? Hahahahahahaha! Sorry	/r/Divorce_Men	10/11/25 04:18 PM
1	[M33, W30] My life is perfect and my wife loves me, but I want to start over Wow!!!!!! Thank you for this. Changes everything. The escort scam!	/r/Divorce_Men	04/11/25 07:26 PM
2	Anecdotal Divorce Stories from Men I Know. Feel free to share yours This is nearly identical to my story…	/r/Divorce_Men	02/11/25 11:26 PM
5	She’s flying off the handle Try to keep your kids in this amazing school, no matter what you and your STBX are going through personally. They’ll need stability, and fight for them. The actual divorce is temporary, as petty and stupid that it will be, but the kids need to know that their parent(s) fought for their needs when the family is torn apart. So if this means renting in the district, then make that a target. Your kids’ future is your number one investment. Try to keep that in focus. Good luck.	/r/Divorce_Men	02/11/25 12:35 PM
10	Am I honestly crazy? I’m about to end my 17 year relationship. Please delete if not allowed. Yeah, I’m going to side with many folks here saying you’re in the wrong. Firstly, reading your wife’s emails because you’re supposed to be backing up her phone? She gave you permission to be on her phone, right? 5 year email thread that deletes also sounds like typical notification process to me. You can setup filters and actions in notifications that behave this way. Like many said, a cheater would use other means, not Gmail. What’s really going on? She may be on another Reddit thread talking t…	/r/Divorce_Men	31/10/25 10:05 AM
2	Am I honestly crazy? I’m about to end my 17 year relationship. Please delete if not allowed. 😆! Thanks for the decoder he was asking for!	/r/Divorce_Men	31/10/25 09:58 AM
3	Your Family & Your Wives I wasn’t abused like you say you were so I have a different perspective, perhaps. I was neglected more by my father - a latchkey kid. I loved my dad. He was a pretty cool person and showed a lot of love when he did. I miss him a lot, actually (it’s been nearly 11 years since he died from pancreatic cancer). My parents divorced when I was 5. My mom married again to the man she found during the marriage with my dad and is still married 35+ years later to him (my stepdad is awesome). My bio dad was…	/r/Divorce_Men	28/10/25 10:29 AM
4	When to fart in new relationship Yes, I liked that one too 🤣	/r/Divorce_Men	27/10/25 01:13 PM
5	Father's, I need some advice. Your daughter is going to feel this way because she knows family is all of you. The kids will always have it the hardest. Divorce means that family is now defunct. Time for new beginnings.	/r/Divorce_Men	27/10/25 01:11 PM
3	When to fart in new relationship Hahahahahaha! Best post of the day. Thanks. It depends on how you feel about the relationship. This is the divorce forum, so if you’re in the ‘who gives a shit’ mode in dating and this one won’t last much longer, then be your disgusting self. If you’re about to go into the newlymarried forum (or whatever it’s called), then take the others’ advice of not doing it. Good luck. Diet change sounds about right, or eating slower and smaller portions.	/r/Divorce_Men	27/10/25 12:57 PM
4	Honest questions regarding all your ex wives Thanks, and I’m sorry you’ve experienced BS as well from your ex. I’m good now. The beginning of the year until May or so, I was a wreck feeling like I lived in the Twilight Zone. Truth is, I’ve come to find out that many women are doing this to men - on this forum and I’ve met several in my own area. It just removes any positive feelings I’ve ever had for somebody I called my best friend for 15 years. She could’ve just asked for a divorce. I would’ve been surely ok with that 🤣. Sorry, I laugh a…	/r/Divorce_Men	24/10/25 03:47 PM
10	Honest questions regarding all your ex wives I resonate with that. My ex detached herself from everything. She stopped inviting friends over. Conversation was about the dog and the weather. She stopped joining the kids and I to go shopping. And the most obvious was she didn’t care about our kids’ schedule at the start of the school year and refused to go to our daughter’s basketball games. It was a lot. I wouldn’t say I didn’t notice at the time, because I thought it was all fucking bizarre. But had I known she was going to call the cops o…	/r/Divorce_Men	24/10/25 03:33 PM
1	Accused of SA It’s tough reading your story. I’m across the lines in PA, and I hear you. Luckily Monroe County PA is more amenable to fathers than the Valley. I have spoken to at least 5 other men in person that went through similar situations - they came out of the woodwork when it happened to me. It’s like these women have been given a playbook. I know my wife was using domestic violence counselors with its hotline, and I wonder what accountability there is in that. It’s the same shit with me! CPS has its o…	/r/Divorce_Men	21/10/25 03:15 PM
1	Accused of SA Did you get sole custody? How did your court situation pan out and how long did it take? I think these kinds of stories help others and also how to prepare. Thanks for sharing your story. I’m sorry that happened to you. Again, I was ‘fortunate’ 😤 to have this happen to me when my kids were 12 and 10. You and the OP had this occur when your kids could not and do not know what this is or how to stand up for themselves. Your story is even more haunting for me, because I don’t know how you navigated…	/r/Divorce_Men	21/10/25 02:27 PM
1	Accused of SA 💯 I am still perplexed at this very concept. I asked the detectives over and over again on this very idea. They basically said it could harm my case in family court. That harassment is the only thing, and they can’t overturn the idea that even if proven to be abusive of the system (because it damn sure is) that they don’t want to discourage people from using the system when it is true. But damn right here. I can’t believe that my ex can lie on the stand over and over, lie to all these agencies, …	/r/Divorce_Men	21/10/25 12:11 PM
5	Accused of SA One more thing: do not forget to bring power to the word RAPE. I make sure I bring that up more often than not. Their goal is to shame and humiliate you, but truthfully, it should be on them. For the rest of her life, your wife has to live with the idea that she used rape on your kid as a ‘get out’ mechanism. Your 3 year old will be an adult one day, and your wife can’t see past her own agenda today. I will bring it up in court, I will bring it up in the therapy, I will bring it up in email corr…	/r/Divorce_Men	21/10/25 11:38 AM
10	Accused of SA I’ve been commenting through out the forum and it’s important to speak up about this. My wife did the same thing to me, but I am lucky that my kids were 12 and 10 at the time of the accusations. She attempted to take the kids and run by getting a PFA on me, but luckily my wife made a series of serious mistakes starting with calling the police and admitting she was drinking and smoking weed on 911. The cops came and said she was the one scaring the kids and not me. So I got off right away, but di…	/r/Divorce_Men	21/10/25 04:32 AM
6	She's not having my dad's money. So, I lost my dad 10 years ago and sold his house and my brother and I split it (roughly $200k each). I placed it in a liquid investment account over the years and it did alright. It was under a financial portfolio with a big company where my wife and I had separate accounts for IRAs and the such with each of our individual names on them (I didn’t have my name on hers and she didn’t on mine). My wife, a rightful ‘see you next Tuesday’ (you UK blokes know what I mean), took all our money and asse…	/r/Divorce_Men	16/10/25 03:35 AM
2	Coach the sports teams Great job. Yes, coaching basketball has literally saved me and my kids, for that matter. I have a high conflict situation, but in short, the girls team I was coaching protected my kid when my wife created a false narrative and allegation against me. The community knew it. The school asked me to be full-time paid employee as head coach this year so I’m really grateful. It’s fulfilling to see the kids grow and be happy. Nothing better.	/r/Divorce_Men	15/10/25 08:15 PM
1	For the love of god people. Stick with no contact if you can. My X is insane (duh!) and I engage 20% of the time. And when I do, it fucks up the whole day. I fucked up today when I engaged, in fact. Had to respond, and when I did, out comes the insanity. Lies. New allegations. Submarines. Orca. Fuckin aliens. I’m in high conflict with primary custody of my kids, and the shit is a daily struggle. If I were a person in a divorce without kids, block that phone, start an email that only collects her emails and put an automation on the shit so it documents it a…	/r/Divorce_Men	15/10/25 08:00 PM
2	What I Learned About Getting My Life Back Developing an AI tool to rebuild structure after divorce 👏👏👏 Good for you, brother. I’m going through it right now in a big way. The bizarre thing is I just spoke at AI Week in NY 😆. I have a bit of onset ADHD from trauma or something similar that you described above. I need to complete a lot of these AI-assisted projects and I can’t because of this situation. I have primary custody and my X is bombarding me every day. I try to shut her out, but then a new petition or she lies to the reunification therapist or does something else that is erratic. I’m …	/r/Divorce_Men	14/10/25 09:23 PM
12	What did you learn from your divorce? This ☝🏼. Never knew the one I called my best friend for 15 years was actually the devil. I’m not going to blame her. I will blame me for making the choice. Therefore, I will learn not to make a choice similarly in my future. My kids are solely the focus as I have primary custody. Once they graduate, I’ll resort to man’s best friend for company 🐶🐕	/r/Divorce_Men	12/10/25 05:57 PM
1	Just need to vent Are you the one wanting not to cohabitate, is it mutual, or is it swaying her? It kind of sounds like, “Hey, we can cohabitate again if you decide to move to another country with me.” Which to me, sounds like a massive mistake. I guess the real question is: would she move to another country if you weren’t in the picture? Or is she just using that over your head as a controlling mechanism. I don’t want to undermine her genuine concern - what’s happening with ICE right now is about the most insane…	/r/Divorce_Men	11/10/25 07:48 PM
1	Just need to vent Wait. You’re separated!?!? And she still wants you to move to another country? Am I missing something? I’ll go read your other rants. This is bizarre to me. In my opinion, you can’t save a marriage when you’re separated by moving out of the country. Why would you do that? I don’t have context to the separation. Do you have kids? If not, get out. You have bigger and better things to accomplish in your life. I think you’re both getting in each other’s way and neither of you are happy. You’ll do yo…	/r/Divorce_Men	11/10/25 07:27 PM
1	Just need to vent Is there a marriage_men sub or is there a reason why this is posted in divorce? You’ve posted in here before to rant, is that because you’re thinking of divorce? What are your intentions? I haven’t read your other rants in here, but something tells me this is a much deeper issue than just moving out of the country. I think you need to have a think about why you’re posting in the divorce forums. Many of us read this from the other side, you know? 😆	/r/Divorce_Men	11/10/25 01:17 PM
24	It's the same story!! There’s a reason why dogs 🐶 are man’s best friend and not women. Either be the a-hole guy who is the cheater and doesn’t have a real relationship, or be the provider, the loyalist, the father, the everything and get stabbed in the back and cheated on by the a-hole. OR, go get yourself a couple dogs and live your best life.	/r/Divorce_Men	11/10/25 12:57 PM
1	Wife after 26 years, wants to sell the house and walk away 🤨	/r/Divorce_Men	09/10/25 04:02 PM
3	Wife after 26 years, wants to sell the house and walk away Did you have kids together? If so, I assume they are already out of the house. I’m not sure why a psychiatrist would say something like that. What does that have to do with you, A? B, one sees a psychiatrist for 15 min to get a script. Perhaps a therapist or a psychologist, but it seems like lazy work for a decision to end 26 years of a relationship without any true explanation. No cheating. No money issues. No arguing. Perhaps falling out of love is the only answer here, and is one not easily r…	/r/Divorce_Men	09/10/25 04:29 AM
1	Married men (especially those who’ve been divorced) — what led to your divorce, and what kind of life partner do you wish you had chosen instead? That is the weird part, right? After everything went down in my circumstance, most friends or family had something to say about my ex and never told me. I was living in some sort of veiled reality wanting to be a good husband, and yet this whole time people I love and care deeply for knew something and didn’t say it. 15 years 🤣. Luckily my kids are incredible and I’m grateful for them on a daily basis. They are the true gems of the relationship.	/r/Divorce_Men	08/10/25 03:57 PM
2	Married men (especially those who’ve been divorced) — what led to your divorce, and what kind of life partner do you wish you had chosen instead? Thank you. I’m definitely in a better place. My ex went lethal and tried to get me arrested and put in jail for abuse that never happened and used the kids. I have primary custody right now. So even though your first two paragraphs ring true, I surely wouldn’t want to be with her or anywhere near her. She’s a dangerous person (even though she comes across like a good looking angel). I think dogs will be my future once my kids leave the nest.	/r/Divorce_Men	08/10/25 03:30 PM
4	Married men (especially those who’ve been divorced) — what led to your divorce, and what kind of life partner do you wish you had chosen instead? Wow. This is not so dissimilar to me. 15 years, and much of your first two paragraphs ring true. I thought you read my thought-journal 😉 Glad you’re in a better place.	/r/Divorce_Men	08/10/25 03:20 PM
7	Alimony goes poof Yeah, 💩in a 📦	/r/Divorce_Men	07/10/25 04:26 AM
14	My ex texted me and it rattled me Yeah, f*ck friends. She ain’t a friend. “A close relative passed…I didn’t get any support.” Did your real friends support you? It’s a farce to think that we can be good friends once the divorce is done. Your circumstance is about as easy as they go - no kids or assets - and there’s still no hope. Many of us are dealing with decades of marriage, kids, assets, businesses, etc and we’re all here to tell you: MOVE ON! The more you center yourself and what lies ahead, the more confident you’ll be and…	/r/Divorce_Men	06/10/25 01:41 PM
1	Still living a nightmare. I can’t tell if they had a child together or the child they were raising together was the one that was a result of her cheating. Either way, definitely a kid involved.	/r/Divorce_Men	06/10/25 01:33 PM
6	Don't even know how to caption this. Good thing I’m in divorce_men subreddit! 😆. They can have their single life, because I’m fricking free of that BS myself! Good riddance! I don’t think I’ll ever marry again. Contemplating not needing a relationship, either. I got my kids. I got my self. And when the time is right, I’ll get a couple of dogs (have to wait for divorce decree and once I’m out of my temporary living situation).	/r/Divorce_Men	06/10/25 05:05 AM
2	Monthly check in, how are you men holding up? Yes, sir 🫡	/r/Divorce_Men	04/10/25 02:32 PM
9	Monthly check in, how are you men holding up? Fucking great considering the heap of shit I’m still wading in! Without my ex, I feel like a champion 🤣. Clean bill of health. Kids are solid and doing well for themselves. Even tho my ex tried to destroy me with every agency our govt has, I just got a clean record 💯so I can work in the school system as a head coach - fuckin ex plotted a whole BS abuse case on me that went nowhere and she lost all respect from everybody. Loving what the future may hold.	/r/Divorce_Men	04/10/25 11:46 AM
2	Struggling with Relationship Bandwidth After Divorce Yes, intimacy requires a lot more than just sex. That is commitment, dedication to her needs, trust, and takes a lot of time to build all that. And in that, one will most likely find himself facing marriage whether he believes so or not. And thus, divorce 🤣	/r/Divorce_Men	02/10/25 12:23 PM
3	Struggling with Relationship Bandwidth After Divorce 🤣! Agreed! I don’t need another nightmare…at all.	/r/Divorce_Men	02/10/25 12:10 PM
6	Struggling with Relationship Bandwidth After Divorce 🛥️- I’m riding in the same boat. I’m finding divorce liberating, mostly because I allowed myself to get lost in the relationship and gave a lot more than I received. I realize my own flaws (not everybody’s), and jumping into a relationship or dating actually sounds like jumping back into a fiery pit with the devil awaiting with her pitchfork. (I’m also jaded 🤣)	/r/Divorce_Men	02/10/25 12:08 PM
1	Struggling with Relationship Bandwidth After Divorce Well said 👏	/r/Divorce_Men	02/10/25 12:04 PM
3	Struggling with Relationship Bandwidth After Divorce See, I agree with this statement. Not your original. I am doing just that myself. I realize I need to prioritize my kids (always) and myself. A relationship isn’t necessary at all for me. I also don’t want to say that is true for every man. I haven’t had sex with anybody since separation approaching a year. I miss it a lot. But like you say, I absolutely don’t need it because it’s very rarely just sex. There’s a lot of everything else dragging with it that makes it uninteresting (to me). Persona…	/r/Divorce_Men	02/10/25 11:55 AM
5	Struggling with Relationship Bandwidth After Divorce I’m in a similar boat. Was on 4 dating apps because I missed women. Nothing worked, because I have primary custody of my kids and have been their caregiver for years. On top of that trying to manage work in any hours available, coaching basketball for the school, volunteering, as well as my own hobbies and health is actually impossible to manage a relationship of any sorts. I have to be reasonable with that notion. I’ve gotten my health in order, exercising regularly again and have a clean bill …	/r/Divorce_Men	02/10/25 11:45 AM
4	Struggling with Relationship Bandwidth After Divorce It’s a legit question. He didn’t say ‘die.’ It is a completely normal thing to want sex and intimacy. By your suggestion, he should deal with not having it. There are many other options. The app, Feeld, for example is all about hookups. The old trick of going out socially and picking up a one night stand. Intimacy is different. I’ll comment elsewhere on this thread for that.	/r/Divorce_Men	02/10/25 11:37 AM
3	Would you lend money to your ex? I would say no, but I’ve also done dumb shit, which I believe is to be in the best interest of my kids. I still say no 🤣, and wish you continued luck because this won’t be the last time she goes for your money or soul.	/r/Divorce_Men	28/09/25 02:25 PM
17	New studies indicate why women hate men and it is very telling. Have you looked at the dating app scene since divorce, by any chance 🤔	/r/Divorce_Men	28/09/25 12:53 AM
6	New studies indicate why women hate men and it is very telling. I love dogs…my ex took my shadow, Jedi, from me. Caught wind he was shitting in the house because she doesn’t walk him enough.	/r/Divorce_Men	28/09/25 12:51 AM
2	I’m really just mad at myself Thanks for the share, and the humility. Like another poster said, we all make mistakes. I know you say you regret some things and not recognizing problems in year 7, but you needed to go through all of this to arrive at today. The 10 months wasn’t a waste either, because you gained therapy, and that’s a massive win for you evolving going forward. Try not to beat yourself up, as natural as that may be for some of us (I do it too), and try to just learn from your experiences and not repeat. Things…	/r/Divorce_Men	27/09/25 02:23 PM
3	I need advice. No. Don’t let her win. Do you have evidence and documentation of everything? Document it all. Emails? Medical records of timing when she cheated and when you got the STD? You need a lawyer ASAP. Write down your mission statement right now: I will protect my kid at all costs. And when you write a similar statement down, you commit it to memory so that every decision you make is keeping your mission in mind. It will clear away doubt, it will motivate you to work harder, and you will do everything …	/r/Divorce_Men	25/09/25 03:51 AM
2	The Day I Tried DIY Grooming and Almost Lost My Balls 🤣 Thanks for this post. I’m sorry your pain made me laugh, but you put a hair killer on your prize possession!? Wow. I made the mistake of putting a peppermint-laced something down there when I was like 15…I learned really quick how painful that is. You just need a groomer. Nothing more. Hope you’re feeling better.	/r/Divorce_Men	24/09/25 09:10 PM
1	The Day I Tried DIY Grooming and Almost Lost My Balls 🤣	/r/Divorce_Men	24/09/25 09:05 PM
1	I need a mana perspective .. Well, if you came for real, that’s what we try to do here and support. It goes without saying. Divorce. Protect your kids. Find a more responsible and kind human being to be your partner in time. Therapy also helps so you don’t repeat the same problem - like finding another abuser.	/r/Divorce_Men	23/09/25 09:43 PM
1	I need a mana perspective .. How old are you? Don’t say things like that. What has he done? He has a job. That’s a low bar. Doesn’t take care of his kids. Abuses you. Cheated on you. I’m trying to find the ‘love’ part.	/r/Divorce_Men	23/09/25 08:32 PM
1	I need a mana perspective .. Wait. You’re here for your husband? So you plan on obtaining information that can help your husband who most likely abuses you from a forum of divorced men (or soon-to-be-divorced men)? I’m sorry, but I don’t think he’s going to listen to you tell him how he should act based on the information you obtained from Reddit. It’s just a hunch. I’m just trying to understand what is actually happening. Nobody knows your intentions. Please post on the general divorce subreddit.	/r/Divorce_Men	23/09/25 07:58 PM
1	I need a mana perspective .. Correct. It’s such a bizarre post. I didn’t mean not sure why she’s posting in general on the men’s divorce subreddit, but this post. To me it seeks validation and attention from random men that she’s in the right. I question the entirety of the relationship from both of them, and it doesn’t seem like the three children are the focus. It would probably be more helpful for her to post on the general divorce subreddit.	/r/Divorce_Men	23/09/25 06:19 PM
1	I need a mana perspective .. Firstly, I don’t know why you’re posting here. We usually come here to talk things through because we need camaraderie. Just because you need a man’s perspective doesn’t mean that this is the best forum. Your post is a rant about a man that seems to treat you and your kids poorly but you want to stay with him. The question is why are you with this person? You actually haven’t said what you like about him at all. There are good men out there. And it seems like you’re looking at other men paying a…	/r/Divorce_Men	23/09/25 04:37 PM
7	Marriage is love. Divorce is business. Over planned was not a thorough enough description above in the context that you’re using it in my case. My ex planned by using the local police, the state police, CPS, FBI, Missing Persons, and the Attorneys General to plot a massive abuse claim on me. The problem: it was all a lie and our kids turned on her, the community turned on her, because she forgot the social equity part. My case is obviously unique, but there is a whole men’s group in my area where this kind of planning from women is a…	/r/Divorce_Men	23/09/25 10:07 AM
7	Marriage is love. Divorce is business. In my case, my ex over planned, failed due to my instinct being off guarded, and she lost her kids + spousal support + has to pay child support. Sometimes you can’t please people no matter how hard you try because they’re out for pure blood because they were lying to themselves, their family, and the community. Some may say evil. In this case, be truthful. Be genuine. And then have no mercy because it’s your duty to be a good person, protect, and raise your kids on your own. Protect that number …	/r/Divorce_Men	23/09/25 04:10 AM
16	The mask falls off Not exactly, but yes. My wife of 15 years, out of nowhere called the police and said I raped my kids. She called the FBI, the Attorneys General, told the school prior that I was a sexual abuser of kids (I am the middle school girls basketball coach), Missing Persons, CPS in PA, ACS in NY… Very long story, but I have custody of my kids and I grant her visitations. The court and the agencies saw through her BS and lies, mostly because she was inconsistent, and didn’t have any evidence at all. My d…	/r/Divorce_Men	21/09/25 11:20 AM
2	First big treat to yourself? If you knew my story…my wife engineered an abuse campaign on me that burned my clients (we owned a business together) and she took all of our money left me with $27.32. She called the local police, state police, CPS in PA, ACS in NY, FBI, Special Agent for Attorneys General PA, and Missing Persons…tried to kill me and take my kids. Luckily crawled out the gutter with audio and my daughter had covertly video recorded everything. My kids saved my life. I have primary custody, but it’s been nearly …	/r/Divorce_Men	20/09/25 02:22 AM
8	First big treat to yourself? I always wanted a drum set. 15 years of marriage and 44 years old, got my first drum set even though I felt guilty spending that money rather than for my kids (whom I have primary custody). Ultimately hoping they want to bang on it too. Felt great putting it together and seeing it in my bedroom.	/r/Divorce_Men	20/09/25 01:48 AM
5	To what extent and in what context do you still “care” about your ex? I wish I had nothing to do with her. I wish my primary custody was sole custody and she moved to another country and just let me raise our kids. I told my therapist today that I have honestly never ‘hated’ anybody, but if somebody embodies the photo next to the definition, it’s her. She is destructive. She is selfish. And she continues to hurt the kids when she has the opportunity. I didn’t, for some reason, see or know this person for 15 years. My kids are everything to me, and she gave birth t…	/r/Divorce_Men	19/09/25 05:05 AM
1	Motivation Daaamn. This is such a wise comment. Thanks Expert 🦝! 🙏🏼 I’m getting myself in shape mostly for the sake of trying to be as healthy as possible and not get sick so I can take care of my kids (I have primary custody). It would be nice to have some sex with somebody new, but I don’t think that’s going to happen anytime in my near future due to my obligations. Thank you so much for this comment though, because I am often blinded by my rage towards my ex and everything that has transpired. Just got …	/r/Divorce_Men	18/09/25 06:20 PM
3	Update on wife who wants to separate but live together Thanks for the update on your story. We all feel for you, but you cannot start to heal without confronting the thing(s) that is causing the pain. You did that. Your wife, regardless what you think of her loyalty or integrity, commanded and manipulated the marriage to fit something you did not consent to - open marriage - which is not loyalty. In fact, the newest term we all hear these days is ‘ethical non-monogamy,’ right? This is only ‘ethical’ if both parties agree from the onset, not in the m…	/r/Divorce_Men	18/09/25 10:11 AM
5	Served with papers on Friday, only to find out she's requesting full legal custody... Agree with ⬆️. My ex asked for everything and then some. Made a ton of false reports to all the agencies the great USA has to offer (surprised she didn’t call internationally to be honest) to make herself look like a victim. Let them make all the mistakes, tell lies to the court, etc. Stay truthful. Stay calm. And the court system should operate appropriately. FYI, I have primary custody, and she needs to complete reunification therapy to earn any physical custody.	/r/Divorce_Men	15/09/25 04:58 PM
1	Where to start? FYI, this isn’t an interesting story to those you’re seeking help from that don’t know you. Use any one of the tens of AI tools to help you sort this out in the future. I read: youth + alcohol + infidelity + deceit. You cannot lie to yourself while you confess to Reddit. It’s easy for us commenters to cut through the BS. That’s honesty. If nobody is telling you that, they’re not your friend. You cannot call it ‘ethical non-monogamy’ when you didn’t meet or discuss in that capacity to begin with.…	/r/Divorce_Men	13/09/25 06:53 AM
1	Ex wife just living it up I’m with you here. Gotta know the custody. She cheated? Can you provide more info? Wondering if you need to get another lawyer.	/r/Divorce_Men	12/09/25 08:21 PM
3	Why the fuck would anyone get married again? 44m, two kids, primary custody (until reunification therapy says otherwise). I allow her to see the kids a few times a week in public - not in her home. After what she did to our family and kids, I can’t really trust anybody ever again in my kids’ and my home. Never. I bought a drum set, a vinyl record player, dropped weight back to my 160s and got in shape again. I feel good. I look a lot better. But I have a smile on face, which hadn’t seen the sun since George Harrison wrote about it on Abbey…	/r/Divorce_Men	10/09/25 05:38 PM
1	Why the fuck would anyone get married again? Ditto	/r/Divorce_Men	10/09/25 05:32 PM
1	Why the fuck would anyone get married again? 44, two kids, currently have primary custody, and I’m 100% in this boat.	/r/Divorce_Men	10/09/25 05:30 PM
5	Why the fuck would anyone get married again? My divorce is fresh, but I’m mostly in this camp. I want to believe there is someone out there for me long term…however, I believed that was the case for 15 years. Didn’t even really have major issues. The devil that came out and is ever prominent happened to be my then wife. Soooooo…no, I will not be getting married, for any circumstance, and I usually look at my friends the same way☝🏼you do 🤣	/r/Divorce_Men	10/09/25 05:29 PM
2	Why the fuck would anyone get married again? 🤣	/r/Divorce_Men	10/09/25 05:25 PM
4	Say the terrible stuff you want to by yourself in the car You seem like a good person - keeping your duty as a good father as the main focus is the best thing you can do. “The woman you divorce is unrecognizable…not even remotely close to the woman you married.” I’ll keep that line for memory. Couldn’t have said it better. I wish you strength and fortitude. Do not waver and stay true to yourself and keep your cool. Another rage outlet is to write a $h!tty email to her but send it to yourself instead of her address. Keep all communication with her short…	/r/Divorce_Men	06/09/25 07:46 PM
6	Say the terrible stuff you want to by yourself in the car Thanks for this share. My sentiments 100%. Mine was 15 years. Horror story. Out of nowhere. I have primary custody at the moment while she goes through reunification therapy with my kids. The unimaginable happened, and I don’t know if I’ll truly ever get over it solely because of what she decided to do to the kids and continues to do. Could’ve never imagined in 15 years. My community never would’ve imagined. And yet, I’ve met so many others who have gone through or are going through currently ve…	/r/Divorce_Men	06/09/25 02:05 AM