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DejaBlue_Chump Archive

View 1 post and 74 comments by DejaBlue_Chump on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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Upvotes Title Category Author Subreddit Date (UTC)
70

FIELD REPORT DejaBlue_Chump/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/05/20 02:53 AM
Upvotes Comment on Subreddit Date (UTC)
8

"Just because a man cooks and cleans when single does not at all mean he will keep it up when he’s living with a woman". I had the same experience. Very shortly after the marriage ceremony, my ex stopped contributing to the household chores, and never cooked again. The day he stood in front of me and mansplained the proper 'division of labor', I knew divorce was inevitable.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/08/20 09:24 PM
17

Your edit is a good addition to this discussion. I learned recently that men divorcing their wives when the wife gets seriously ill (especially for cancer) is such a prevalent thing that it is a topic covered in nursing school. I also happen to know a woman who had her long-time boyfriend dump her when she developed breast cancer while in her 30s. Unbelievably, he wanted to get back together after she had gotten through treatment and the reconstruction surgery. She told him to 'fuck off'.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/08/20 07:48 PM
19

It's not just the Boomer aged men who expect women to fulfill 'traditional' roles in the household. I got divorced in my early 40's and I can't even imagine living with someone again. Not having to deal with a guy throwing his dirty socks all over the floor, and refusing to do dishes or vacuum, has been awesome; I get to keep my place how I like it, and I've created a tranquil, spa-like environment I'd be unwilling to give up for a man.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/08/20 06:50 PM
14

Yup, he's an asshole. She was really lucky to find out what a jerk this guy is before actually marrying him.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/07/20 03:09 AM
11

Yes. Since quitting OLD I feel much more confident, centered and at peace. I won't ever go back to it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/07/20 03:42 PM
2

I just checked out the new website and it is beautiful! I look forward to FDS having its own space to be true to the values it preaches. It's going to be a-m-a-z-i-n-g-!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/06/20 09:31 PM
39

Exactly. When guys have started the "I don't ever like to use condoms" shtick, I immediately dump them. They are always absolutely stunned by my reaction.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/06/20 08:01 PM
11

It means he is a creep who thought you owed him something for taking you out on a date. Do not go on another date with him. Block him without any explanation and move on with your life.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/06/20 07:59 PM
14

Having our own earnings, and our own careers make it harder for men to control us, and provides more options for us if we want to leave a relationship. Don't ever, ever put your own career aside.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/06/20 12:31 AM
32

Maybe our time is running out on R, but that won't silence the voices of this group; we'll just move to another platform. Heck, I'll build something if I have to. We are a strong, knowledgable group of women; we can figure this out.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/06/20 06:34 PM
25

I went on a first date with a guy I'd met on OLD. The date went fine, and I had agreed to a second date. The second date went super well; the conversation flowed, and he hit on topics that really interested me. As we were walking out of the restaurant, I was thinking that I really wanted a third date. I gave him a hug and a really quick, chaste kiss, and started walking to my car. He threw his hands up in the air, and said, "Is that all I'm gonna get?". Aaaaaand.... I was immediately done. When …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/06/20 04:20 PM
190

This is one of the main reasons why I have quit dating. I realized that if I did become ill, I'd be much better off if I focus on maintaining good health insurance and nurturing my friendships with other women.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/06/20 12:39 AM
9

Dump this guy, stat. One of the things he likes about you is that you'll pay for things; he will have no desire to change that. Do not bother taking that Disney trip with him.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/06/20 07:23 PM
16

One of the best perks of being over 40 is not ever having to deal with these scrotes.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/06/20 06:02 AM
10

I'm going to go out on a limb here and say that I'm pretty positive that these lazy, narcissistic behaviors from men are almost always accompanied by other crappy, LVM behaviors. Leave these poor excuses for men; you will be way better off.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/06/20 03:43 AM
13

"... anything over 35 OLD is full of avoidant men - men incapable of forming long term relationships." I'm in my mid-40's and I agree with this. I also think there are a lot of narcissistic men out there who just mirror whatever you express to them in the hopes of getting you hooked. The amount of vetting you have to do during each step of the process is staggering. When I actually calculated how much of a time suck the OLD thing was, I deleted all my accounts. The whole experience was simply su…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/06/20 07:54 PM
7

Based on my own experience, I think this is pretty accurate.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/06/20 07:43 PM
27

I wanna see if theirs anything i can do to get closer and for him to have some humility without losing me. The short answer is 'no'. I'm sorry to say this, but you simply can not change someone who does not see a need to change. You can't force him to change or 'nice' him into changing. The good news is this; if you continue being politely social distanced, you're more likely to be able to continue having him in your life. If you try to force closeness and expect him to suddenly possess those sk…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/06/20 03:09 AM
34

Back off a lot. If he isn't making you a priority, you shouldn't make him a priority. Fill your life with other things that are healthy and good for your soul. See friends, read, travel, take up knitting, get a massage, a pedicure; whatever appeals to you. Don't ever, ever, ever chase a man.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/06/20 02:45 AM
26

That's it! I've had it! I'm just going to bring a female anatomy chart on my next date and see if the dude can locate anything on it besides the boobs.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/06/20 01:10 AM
488

I had a few guys try to convince me that we didn't need to use condoms because I was on the pill. I immediately dumped them, and they were always, always stunned. Have boundaries, ladies. That is your body they are disrespecting.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/06/20 01:08 AM
29

Last year I was out shopping at a high end specialty grocer. I was in the middle of reaching for something on the shelf when, in my peripheral vision, I see a guy sidle up beside me. He says, "What movie have I seen you in! I know you've been in a movie!" I proceeded to channel my inner pissed off cat; I froze in mid-motion, and without turning towards him and keeping my eyes forward, I said in a low tone, "Get. Away. From. Me". The guy actually ran out of the grocery store.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/06/20 01:00 AM
38

"...invited me back to his condo to see his paintings and view of the city." LOL. That's so hilariously blatant! I had a guy just recently ask if I wanted to come over to his place to read. He was deleted and blocked. You can't make this shit up.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/06/20 10:10 PM
20

Thank goodness I'm over 40 and well beyond the age he is interested in. Whew! Dodged a bullet!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/06/20 10:01 PM
14

"You'll be a bitter cat lady" Goodness, I hope so! Kitties are the best.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/06/20 12:07 AM
23

Yup. I had an ex tell me point blank that he had a history of pushing the self-destruct on any and all healthy things that came into his life. I guess I was one of those healthy things. After about a year of jerking me around, my feelings for him permanently switched to the off position, and I told him I was completely done with him. He was shocked.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/06/20 11:53 PM
20

Not too harsh at all. In fact, I think the fact you responded to his last text message instead of ghosting him was overly nice. I no longer try to explain anything to men who are rude. The fuckers know they are being rude; I simply respond to their excuses with something like "no problem" or "no worries", and then I just delete and block them.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/06/20 12:00 AM
21

Totally. I first laughed, but then, as I read down the list I became queasy.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/06/20 11:52 PM
44

This is essentially what has happened with me; once I realized that dating seemed to be subtracting from my life rather than adding something amazing and positive to it, I knew I was done.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/06/20 05:48 AM
12

Definitely! What I noticed with dating and my past marriage is that the larger the disparity between our earnings (when I make disproportionately more), the worse the guy treats me. It's like he has to tear me down and belittle me in order to not feel inferior. But now I know that, yes, those guys ARE inferior, and not worth my time.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/06/20 03:15 AM
29

I'm a woman who is highly educated and works in a professional field. I'm not rich, but I'm doing well and constantly pursuing additional certifications to continue my upward trajectory. Up until recently, I've never required a man I date to be as successful (monetarily) in their chosen career or as educated as I am, but no more. If a guy wants to be with me, he has to be worthy.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/06/20 04:38 PM
6

I'm 44. I walked out on an abusive husband at 42. Life gets way, way better when you start to put yourself first.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/06/20 05:41 AM
2

Ewwww.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/06/20 05:17 AM
37

I've found this type of behavior to be common with OLD. The guy is testing your boundaries and self-respect to see if you'll stick around if they disrespect you early on. Don't fall for it. Block these idiots and get on with your life.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/06/20 05:21 PM
26

I got married and ended up with a man-child. He quit doing anything domestic, making up excuses or accusing me of nagging if I asked him to help out. Someone recommended that I not do the dishes to see how long it would take for him to do them. After six MONTHS of moldy dishes sitting in the kitchen sink, I finally gave up and took care of it myself. I've since divorced him, and now I don't have to clean up after anyone else! Bliss!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/06/20 09:51 PM
3

Have you managed to meet HVM other places? Got any recommendations for the rest of us?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/06/20 06:00 PM
7

FYI... Legal Librarians have a masters degree and often a doctorate.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/06/20 04:07 AM
44

I don't know this woman, but I would seriously take vacation from my job, drive to her location, and help her move this asshat out of her place.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/06/20 05:11 AM
4

Yes, it varies based on state. Plus, if you end up moving to another state or country, and your property resides elsewhere, it can get complicated fast, so make sure you have additional protections in place.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/06/20 07:51 PM
29

The amount you have saved up is considerable. If you purchase property with that money, get married, and then divorced, your (then) ex would likely be entitled to half of that property asset. See a lawyer immediately to find out how to safeguard it. If the lawyer recommends a prenup, do it. I got divorced last year, and learned the hard way what happens if you don't have your assets protected; I lost almost everything and got financially ruined by a partner who spent my savings without my knowle…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/06/20 03:38 PM
51

The second a guy calls me 'slave' is when he'll learn about the word 'revolt'. What. An. Asshole.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/05/20 05:12 PM
67

"I didn't mean to come off controlling." Uh, yeah, he did. I applaud this woman for dumping this idiot. She can do way, way better.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/05/20 01:03 PM
1

My immediate reaction (right before dumping his ass) would have been, "OMG! I've been dating a closeted computer nerd!? Ahhhhh!"
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/05/20 05:59 PM
19

Yes, I experienced the same thing in my marriage. I was making more than twice what he did, and was doing all the household chores. I would ask him to help with stuff, but he would just make excuses and refuse. I was advised by a friend to just leave the household task undone, and that eventually he would probably do it. Nope. I tried that with the dishes, and after SIX MONTHS of moldy dishes sitting in our kitchen sink, I finally just gave up and cleaned them myself. After that, I quit even bot…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/05/20 04:18 AM
72

I was going to say exactly this. I hope she finds out that her demotion was instigated by the asshole she is married to, and divorces him.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/05/20 08:57 PM
153

Yes. That is so, so true. After a hellish divorce from a LVM I have created a home environment that is peaceful and tranquil. It would take an amazing HVM to even get me to consider making room for him in my private space.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/05/20 07:10 PM
123

I think this pandemic is highlighting something similar; women are spending the 'alone' time doing projects, learning new things, and reconnecting with friends and family. The guys are trolling Tinder, desperately looking for a woman who will break quarantine, because they are horny and incapable of being alone.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/05/20 03:07 AM
13

I've tried to stay friends with a guy I had dated exactly once; he eventually propositioned me for casual sex. (I said 'no'). I never tried the friends thing with an ex ever again.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/05/20 03:01 AM
23

Yes, I had this exact thing happen to me this past week. I think it is a knee-jerk response to being rejected. My favorite is when they come back and tell you that you misunderstood the entire situation. Sure, I did!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/05/20 09:32 PM
2

Obviously a fake name won't help you if you are meeting someone through your current social circle; I'm referring to meeting someone who is a total stranger, either randomly in public or through online dating sites. I don't have any defined rules about when I reveal my real name, but it isn't typically until they've gotten through the first date and I've decided that I'd consider a second date if they ask. The burner phone is a pre-paid phone. I like having the separation of two phones, but the …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/05/20 04:37 AM
18

Grimkatov, I've dealt with a stalker before, but mine never posted my information on online forums; that must feel extremely violating. My dating advice is to not mention your problems with the stalking until you have met in person and have had the chance to get to know the guy over a couple of months. Get a burner phone that is just for dating and is not connected to your real name and your home address; that way you can give out the number without worry. I have also always used a fake first na…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/05/20 04:36 PM
8

This guy is a textbook example of an Avoidance attachment type. Read the book Attached; it is a real eye opener. Also, when a guy shows you who he is through his actions (or sometimes inaction) believe him!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/05/20 09:17 PM
24

I agree that you shouldn't write a novel for your OLD profile. I have included a few tid-bits in my profile that should be easy conversation starters for any guy who skims it; if the message I receive does not reference anything in my profile I automatically delete it. Beware of the guys who message you with "I have read your profile and I think we have a lot in common..." or something to that effect. Those dudes have not read your profile, but are hoping you don't notice the fact they didn't me…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/05/20 09:09 PM
19

I watched the video. What astounds me is that right after the reporter states that the asshat was the one to break things off with his girlfriend the reporter refers to him as a "jilted lover". What the fuck?! Blameshifting the whole thing on to the poor girl who gets gunned down is totally outrageous!!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/05/20 09:50 PM
24

A refusal to use condoms told me that they put their need of a better orgasm above my health and well-being. That's just a LVM telling you exactly what they are. Next!!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/05/20 02:58 AM
44

I wish I could find out that woman's address; I'd be sending her a case of mason jars. And, yes, I hope she dumped that stupid jerk.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/05/20 02:13 AM
266

She didn't notice until yesterday afternoon... Well, then, she clearly isn't constantly on this game as you claim; otherwise, she would have noticed its absence right away. Her being bitchy doesn't prove she was obsessed, it proves that she feels there was a boundary violation. I'd be locking down my phone, and showing this asshole the door.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/05/20 12:05 AM
7

I don't paint my nails. I'm far too busy reading up on things like how many pounds of pressure it takes to rip out an adams apple.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/04/20 10:34 PM
251

When I started dating, I would immediately dump a guy if he told me he never used condoms and didn't want to use them with me. The looks of shock and dismay were always priceless. I never, ever made an exception.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/04/20 10:20 PM
13

I walked out on my x after he threatened to snap my cat's neck (the cat came with me). Unbelievably, when I tell most people about the reason why I left him they respond with, "He probably didn't mean it". I always think, "Yeah? And if he had actually followed through and killed my cat, then you would all be questioning why I didn't leave him". And that post makes me beyond pissed off. Men who abuse animals are the lowest of the low.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/04/20 04:30 PM
80

When the stay-at-home orders started rolling out across the globe this was the first thing that came to my mind; abusers were going to have even more access to their victims, and the extra stress was going to up the percentage of domestic violence instances resulting in death.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/04/20 04:44 PM
30

If the guy likes you, he will make an effort. Period.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/04/20 06:20 AM
10

Dump. His. Ass
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/04/20 06:46 AM
5

Yes. I'm totally guilty of falling down this rabbit hole.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/04/20 06:19 PM
21

I understand that possible exposure to Covid 19 is scary, but death is permanent. Abusive men only escalate violent behavior. If you feel unsafe, you need to leave immediately (don't forget to take your pets with you too).
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/04/20 06:10 PM
22

Yes. This is the grown-up version of a boy pulling your hair and adults telling you the boy did it because he likes you. Don't take that crap.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/04/20 05:38 AM
53

You are absolutely correct. HVM do not belittle and insult you. Period.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/04/20 02:23 AM
2

At that point the conversation, and their chances with me, are done. Don't bother with a comeback. Block him. Depriving him of being able to interact with you any further is his punishment (and trust me, he won't like it one bit).
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/04/20 07:33 PM
9

This woman needs to borrow some money from a friend or family member and hire a private investigator to obtain evidence that he is cheating, and then hire a lawyer to divorce his ass.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/04/20 07:17 PM
10

I just need to vent. When I've done the OLD thing, I have always been up front about the fact I don't like texting; I think it is a terrible way to try to get to know someone. I put a note about it in my dating profile and when I start chatting with a guy, I always tell them that my preference is phone calls and Zoom (especially right now). However, when we finally exchange phone numbers, the guys will just continue texting me, and never call. I just cut off the last three guys with a comment th…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/04/20 07:46 PM
14

Yes, this. I finally divorced a guy who had trouble with finishing. I quickly stopped looking forward to or enjoying sex at all, because it would become painful way before he was done. And then the fucker would complain that I never initiated.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/04/20 06:09 AM
1

u/asmkl8**, how did you meet this HVM?**
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/04/20 06:23 PM
9

This is a great resource. Even during the honeymoon phase of the relationship LVM will start testing your boundaries. It is important to take notice of those seemingly small things; he is determining if you will stick around as he continues to ramp up the abusive behaviors. I had a guy begin calling me insulting names during normal conversation. He told me it was an affectionate, teasing thing that was a compliment, and showed how comfortable he was around me. I told him I didn't like it, and th…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/04/20 06:23 PM
19

Yup, I am extremely grateful that my divorce was finalized this past summer and that I am in quarantine a-l-o-n-e. I can do what I want, when I want, however I want.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/04/20 06:04 PM
You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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