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Demiansky Archive

View 0 posts and 393 comments by Demiansky on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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12

Yeah, this describes me basically. I peak in from time to time because I think some of the points are legit (there really is a crisis among men right now which the wider culture is ignoring) and it's funny to see how clueless and delusional some women are, but I'm not a hardcore redpiller and I probably wouldn't be into the kind of echo chamber that develops on the other side where "anything goes." Places like that invariably just end up as a themed version of 4 Chan that corrode your soul after…
/r/WhereAreAllTheGoodMen12/05/22 05:47 PM
5

Yep, this is how I feel. We're debasing the meaning of so many words: abuse, rape, etc. For sure, wife beaters and men who snatch women off the street and rape them behind dumpsters at knife point certainly exist, but when you just start lumping broader things into these previously narrow categories, you start to become skeptical every time you hear the word used. But that's also by design. Activists want to borrow the severe connotation of these words and spread them on to other things to also …
/r/WhereAreAllTheGoodMen02/12/21 05:39 PM
11

This is sooooo true. Women like this don't just want a black man, they want a specific, "racist" caricature of a black man: the hulking, hypermasculine, dangerous gangster/drug dealer.
/r/WhereAreAllTheGoodMen22/11/21 02:29 PM
2

And another fun detail I've noticed: how successful a marriage tends to be is inversely proportional to how big of a wedding/wedding ring a woman wants.
/r/WhereAreAllTheGoodMen18/11/21 07:13 PM
8

Wow, she's extremely efficient. Managed to be racist toward absolutely everyone in one fell swoop.
/r/WhereAreAllTheGoodMen12/10/21 03:28 PM
10

Yep, sounds like my aunt. Her first husband was swell, but he built up her self esteem and treated her like a princess, which created the illusion she could do better. So she left him for some other guy, and that that other guy for another guy, ad nauseum. Now she cries on my mom's shoulder about the wonderful life she had with the first guy, who remarried a good woman who knew what she had.
/r/WhereAreAllTheGoodMen27/09/21 03:15 PM
11

But honestly, sexual attraction can be tied up in admiration for someone... if you let it (and within reason). The problem with this girl is still drunk on pornographic notions of romance, where you meet some stud with whom every day is committed and passion filled for the rest of your life. But that simply does not exist. In fact, she seems to even KNOW it doesn't exist, but is prepared to make a horrible mistake anyway.
/r/WhereAreAllTheGoodMen27/09/21 03:13 PM
8

Not sure this deserved to get downvoted so much. If we're being honest though, what would you say the source of the stereotype of the "loud belligerent black man" comes from? Is it common enough to be considered true in a lot of cases? If it is, I think your hypothesis is probably right to some extent. Throw in hundreds of years of cultural humiliation where your ancestors are forced to be subservient right up until Jim Crow (and hell, a lot of police interactions), and it makes sense for a lot …
/r/WhereAreAllTheGoodMen26/05/21 10:58 AM
16

And you just put your finger on one of the greatest disadvantages of being a man.
/r/WhereAreAllTheGoodMen21/05/21 01:39 PM
44

What's funny is she'll attack the mainstream media and then turn around and show you some video on YouTube by some rando and be like "This. This you can trust."
/r/WhereAreAllTheGoodMen19/05/21 10:28 AM
15

The vast majority of people who earn money have bosses. My boss has a boss and their boss has a boss right on up the food chain to my CEO, who serves--- and can be fired by--- the shareholders. So basically you have to be the owner and sole proprietor of your own business, but it's gotta be a big business 'cause you need lots of money. Good luck with that.
/r/WhereAreAllTheGoodMen19/05/21 10:26 AM
5

Yep, the problem is almost certainly that he's treated her with too much respect and interest, so her attraction instinct doesn't kick in because obviously only men that are beneath her would be interested in her. If men DON'T treat her well, then it's because they are above her, so naturally those are the ones she is attracted to. If there's anything I've learned from every romantic comedy or romance novel I've ever seen, there's gotta be tons of turmoil and chaos in the plot before that passio…
/r/WhereAreAllTheGoodMen15/05/21 01:49 PM
11

Do flat earthers call themselves flat earthers? I feel like they'd call themselves something more grandeous and flattering, like "Truth Seekers" or some such thing.
/r/WhereAreAllTheGoodMen14/05/21 10:57 PM
25

Yeah, it's really more like a "Sale as Is." So like, the car who's AC is shot and when you ask the seller whether they could maybe fix that for you and they say "I'm selling it as is." Package deals implies that you are getting something else of value that may not be as valuable to you as the thing you are buying the "package deal" for.
/r/WhereAreAllTheGoodMen13/05/21 04:06 PM
2

Lol, it's actually a really well written show, but man, the implausability of Laureli's circumstances sets a terrible example. There's this attitude of single-mothers-to-be that "everything will work out somehow" like it does in Gilmore Girls, when in reality they are setting themselves and their kids up for failure. I wonder how many children of single parents go on to attend expensive private schools, Yale, and are swooned over by handsome rich guys. The only realistic thing that happens in Ro…
/r/WhereAreAllTheGoodMen12/05/21 05:41 PM
63

Yeah, I know some people who treat accumulating mental disorders like catching Pokemon. Hats off to anyone earnestly trying to overcome a mental illness, but some people are just a weeeee too enthusiastic about telling you about all of their mental problems. I feel like in a quest not to sound boring, having lots of scary sounding mental problems which make you unpredictable is a step up in some minds to being talentless and unexceptional.
/r/WhereAreAllTheGoodMen11/05/21 10:56 AM
8

Yep. Lol, and it had good writers, which makes for a better show but also a WAY worse example. They basically took the top 1 percent of single mother outcomes and made a show about it.
/r/WhereAreAllTheGoodMen11/05/21 10:16 AM
42

Reminds me of Gilmore Girls, about a single mother who lives in a big two story house in a charming little town and men--- sometimes rich, sometimes poor, but always tall and VERY handsome-- all over swoon over her constantly and her daughter is a paragon of virtue and her very best friend and she eats tons and tons of super terrible food but never gets fat somehow (lol, seriously).
/r/WhereAreAllTheGoodMen10/05/21 10:06 PM
5

Well, and beyond that, it incentivizes other black men to actually lean in to the stereotype.
/r/WhereAreAllTheGoodMen10/05/21 10:59 AM
3

Women who fritter away their youth partying and sleeping around--- and then who try to settle down in their mid-late 30's--- reminds me of men who fritter away their prime working years, then try to re-enter the job market after a decade or two gap in their resume. As they try to make up for lost time, whoever is on the other side to catch them will be bearing the costs of that youthful indiscretion.
/r/WhereAreAllTheGoodMen10/05/21 10:32 AM
15

Glad it ended well for him. Also glad that you aren't making excuses for the flaws of your sister.
/r/WhereAreAllTheGoodMen09/05/21 09:37 PM
19

Man, and he was the one who lost out on the divorce settlement? Insult to injury.
/r/WhereAreAllTheGoodMen09/05/21 08:17 PM
48

Sigh, I know a woman like this, but with one infuriating detail: after abandoning her first kid to grandma to go off to party--- disappearing for weeks at a time--- she now insists that it was actually grandma's fault for making her a neglectful parent. She said something to the effect of: "If you hadn't taken so much responsibility with my kid, I would have been forced to be a good mom. But instead you made it too easy, so I was lazy!'
/r/WhereAreAllTheGoodMen09/05/21 05:02 PM
1

Yeah, but I think there is catch 22 situation. A single man is expected to "man up" and raise some other guy's kids, and if he did he'd end up under a pal of suspicion for his good deed.
/r/WhereAreAllTheGoodMen08/05/21 05:35 PM
15

Like, I think women like this don't understand how difficult it actually is for men to get close and be nurturing to kids that aren't their own. If you are a man and say "I love kids" and you HAVE kids that are biologically yours, no one blinks an eyelash. If you say "I love kids" and the only kids you have belong to the woman you are dating and they came from some other man, everyone wonders what your motives are. Men aren't privileged the way that women are when it comes to children, so even I…
/r/WhereAreAllTheGoodMen07/05/21 10:27 AM
6

Yeah, I think the match seems cosmetically even at first glance. The problem is she wants a man that resembles the man from her relationship that didn't work. In other words, she wants something impossible. She's basically saying "I want a stable relationship with a man who won't want me." It's sad, but the first "mistake" he made was being thoughtful in celebrating her birthday. That would have been a "turn on" for a good woman.
/r/WhereAreAllTheGoodMen07/05/21 01:30 AM
10

Right, it's basically no different than pornography made for men where an attractive woman just decides to have sex with some rando dude delivering a pizza or something. Implausible, ridiculous, but if you don't know any better or watch too much of it you start thinking that maybe "this is how the world works." Now consider shows like in this video where women must endure the terrible, terrible burden of having to choose between Mr. Perfect with blonde hair or Mr. Perfect with black hair. Now co…
/r/WhereAreAllTheGoodMen07/05/21 01:16 AM
7

Wow. Insists that she is going to be a stay at home mom, but she's past the age now where she can even have kids. So whatever 6 figure guy signs up, he'll be supporting her and her kids, but he won't be supporting his own kids because she can't have any with him. And she can't take any feedback what so ever, or be told to pull her weight somehow in the relationship, she made that clear. Who wants to bet that she generates no income in the household, and when Mr. 6 Figures comes home from work, t…
/r/WhereAreAllTheGoodMen05/05/21 02:06 PM
2

Lol, great way to distill down the issue. Eli was a better person than his alter ego Hawk in just about every way, and yet...
/r/WhereAreAllTheGoodMen30/04/21 10:23 AM
26

Also as an aside, the experience of you and my friend is a damning indictment of "the way that men are supposed to--- and expected--- to live their lives." I still believe that from a societal good standpoint, it is best for society as a whole for a man to be a dutiful husband, a dedicated father, and in general a "good man." But we need to do more than guilt men into being good or threaten them with damnation in hell with religion should they err: we need to actually make that path rewarding. A…
/r/WhereAreAllTheGoodMen29/04/21 07:19 PM
38

I'm convinced there's some neurological explanation for it. Like, that sense of danger and transgression and risk emanating from a person elevates the action potential of other neurons in a generalized way, heightening any other emotions you feel toward that person as well. To someone with scruples it would heighten your disgust, but for a bored young woman with few interests or purpose in their life, its like catnip. In the case of my friend, he literally became a worse person in absolutely eve…
/r/WhereAreAllTheGoodMen29/04/21 07:11 PM
87

Yep, even now I go through this very process. Step 1: Feel sorry for her and shake my head in disapproval at the guy. Step 2: Wonder why she chose him to begin with, then stuck it out for 6 years with him despite being so awful. Step 3: Realize the answer to the question posed in step 2 is that she chose this guy not because he tricked her, but because it was ACTUALLY WHAT SHE WANTED. The thrill and turmoil and excitement of it was the whole point, not some perverse side effect. Situations like …
/r/WhereAreAllTheGoodMen29/04/21 12:49 PM
-1

Yikes, you know what the First Crusade did to Jerusalem, don't you? They went all out Mongol. By those standards, Saladin was a saint.
/r/WhereAreAllTheGoodMen29/04/21 11:12 AM
5

I'd heard in an interview that Nicole Byers' parents both died while she was young, and both were from conditions which strongly, strongly relate to obesity if I recall (just looked it up, pulmomary embolism for mother and heart attack for her father). I remember hearing the interview at the time and thinking "Hm, both of your parents basically died from their obesity and you are allowing it to now kill your love life. What will it take?" I've heard her comedy a few times (which seemed pretty fu…
/r/WhereAreAllTheGoodMen26/04/21 12:27 AM
46

I don't care whether you are conservative or liberal so much as I care whether you are a blazing hypocrit. A woman claiming she's a conservative Christian when she has 3 children outside of wedlock is as absurd as a woman claiming to be a left wing feminist, then complaining that chivalry is dead and that men won't pay for her dinner.
/r/WhereAreAllTheGoodMen22/04/21 10:27 AM
15

This is exactly my thought. If you can go through a divorce and be on good terms, then it was probably a good marriage. Obviously can't say for sure that she was the one that bailed, but the profile leaves a lot of clues. The fact that she's yearning for all of this "passion" and "soul mates" and excitement suggests she just got bored of the kind of calm, stable, married life that is conducive to raising a family. I guess getting choked is better than getting bored.
/r/WhereAreAllTheGoodMen18/04/21 12:24 PM
1

"I want a man who will maintain the passion of the first meeting." This right here is the death knell of any relationship you might have with this women. In the end she'll end up like my aunt: in a long line of passionate 3 month relationships from which she bails when the energy fades, but in her mind, each new relationship just might be the time where the passion lasts forever! And if it doesn't its because something must be wrong with the man for not sufficiently exciting her.
/r/WhereAreAllTheGoodMen16/04/21 11:09 AM
21

Yep, usually when someone suggests an open relationship it's because they perceive that they themselves have "opportunity" and that their partner doesn't. But if the dynamics change and they suddenly must feel the sting of jealousy, how they "feel" about an open relationship changes quickly.
/r/WhereAreAllTheGoodMen12/04/21 11:42 AM
20

Yeah, if someone spouts their ideology in their profile, it means they are going to be judgemental and pushy about it to no end. The right wing equivalent to this woman is the evangelizing, right wing holy roller who wants you to be a man of God and to not covet the neighbor's wife, and meanwhile she's got 3 kids from 3 different men.
/r/WhereAreAllTheGoodMen06/04/21 11:05 AM
8

Is an alpha ever supposed to call themselves an alpha? Would a man ever even say that? Because hearing someone call themselves alpha telegraphs to me that they are trying really hard to be belligerent and aggressive.
/r/WhereAreAllTheGoodMen29/03/21 11:09 AM
18

I mean, it kinda betrays what third wave feminism is REALLY about. It complains bitterly about men who behave like X, Y, and Z then urges women to be X, Y, Z.
/r/WhereAreAllTheGoodMen29/03/21 11:05 AM
11

"I put my kids first but still go out and drink, despite not having a spouse to watch the kids while I'm out drinking." These two things can't simultaneously be true. If you are putting your kids first, you aren't dumping them off with the grandparents or leaving them unsupervised while you go off to hit the bar. I've known single dads and single moms who really did put their kids first. And what did that look look? They weren't out at bars with people who they claim they are going to put 2nd to…
/r/WhereAreAllTheGoodMen23/03/21 06:00 PM
3

She loved it until her husband got his act together, he became more of a financial success, and then started asking HER to stay home with the kids while he was out with other women.
/r/WhereAreAllTheGoodMen21/03/21 02:42 PM
15

Usually it's "poly under duress." Its usually the partner that perceives they have more clout or power in the relationship. I had a friend who's husband had a bout of drug addiction and lost his job along the way. So basically, his wife considered him to be lower value than he was before, but she didn't want to leave him because she wanted the father of her kids to be around. So since she didn't like how the investment turned out, she told him it was a either an open relationship or divorce. Of …
/r/WhereAreAllTheGoodMen16/03/21 12:02 AM
25

How unexpected. Her guy-on-the-side was only interested in her when he knew she'd never expect him to commit (aka, when she was already married.) The second she left her husband and there was a hint that she might want something more than a booty call from him: poof, he catches the fast train out of town.
/r/WhereAreAllTheGoodMen15/03/21 11:42 PM
11

"My boyfriend is wonderful and wants to marry me and doesn't abuse me." Also: "But I just don't find him attractive." Plot twist: these two things are actually directly related. Being treated well isn't exciting, and therefore the relationship is boring and there is no attraction. I'm convinced that there is an autonomic nervous system explanation for these kinds of women. Turmoil is linked to heightened feelings of attraction. There was an interesting psychological experiment awhile back that t…
/r/WhereAreAllTheGoodMen13/03/21 02:55 PM
3

Depends. Queens, Duchesses, and Countesses sometimes administered their own holdings which they owned before marriage, like Eleanor of Aquitaine or Matilda of Tuscany or Isabella of Aragon being among the most popularly remembered examples. When Eleanor of Aquitaine went on crusade, she brought her own armies and subordinate nobles, and her husband, king of France, brought his. Isabella was very active in both matters of war, bureaucracy, and diplomacy. Though Queens virtually never fought direc…
/r/WhereAreAllTheGoodMen11/03/21 02:54 AM
2

Could go either way I guess. Fun tid bit: divorce among gay men is radically lower than among lesbians.
/r/WhereAreAllTheGoodMen10/03/21 10:56 PM
6

Well, a king has far more responsibilities, the same way a queen has more responsibilities (which is why there are far more fantasies about being a princess than a queen, because a princess gets to be pampered and desired and important while making 0 effort.)
/r/WhereAreAllTheGoodMen10/03/21 09:31 PM
27

I love the line in the article about "men being indoctrinated to pursue younger women" as though there are no pragmatic reasons for why they might do this. The reality is that if you are a man who wants to start a family, the time you are financially ready is the exact moment a woman your own age is going to be having significant fertility issues.
/r/WhereAreAllTheGoodMen10/03/21 08:45 PM
10

Spot on. I think the deliciousness of Meghan Merkel is that she actually GOT what scores and scores of women want but can't get--- a tall, rich, literal prince who swoons over her--- and her life is so apparently terrible now that she got it that she's contemplated killing herself.
/r/WhereAreAllTheGoodMen10/03/21 06:00 PM
40

Well, I can think of lots of historical examples of men that were rich and powerful and barely worked: the sons of landed noblemen. In other words, these women literally want a prince. Of course, the irony for them is that no matter how many love letters a rich prince with lots of time on his hands wrote them in order to give them a few romps in the barn, there's no way that prince is going to marry a milk maid. Turns out the hardworking blacksmith's, faithful son was probably the better choice …
/r/WhereAreAllTheGoodMen10/03/21 01:53 PM
14

Right, the irony here is that she's complaining that the best 1 in 10,000 men won't commit, but she herself has commitment issues. I'd wager you my savings that her very first boyfriend at 18 was a top tier man, but she left him because "there must be something better."
/r/WhereAreAllTheGoodMen01/03/21 06:49 PM
4

"With my first boyfriend who I was with for 5 years, we lived in a house together and were in love. But we were too young and grew apart." Anyone want to take a guess what the euphemism "we were too young and grew apart" means?
/r/WhereAreAllTheGoodMen01/03/21 06:44 PM
31

I agree with this point about conditioning. I've even been to subs where I saw men get ridiculed for being concerned about their spouse going out to party with friends until 4 A.M. "You mean you don't trust your wife? You are a bad husband!" Trust must be earned. If it is given freely, there's a good chance it'll be abused.
/r/WhereAreAllTheGoodMen25/02/21 11:18 AM
9

I think the only thing that stands out in terms of "WAATGM" is the "Knight in Shining Armor" line. She's made it very clear she's not "a princess" so why is she still holding out for a Knight in Shining Armor? Expectations.
/r/WhereAreAllTheGoodMen23/02/21 10:54 PM
2

There is always more issues with an older woman when it comes to embryo implantation and sustaining the pregnancy, but it's way easier to solve and is way less of a problem than old eggs. You can always do a cerclage or get progesterone hormone injections, etc. In other words, there are tons of ways to juice the uterine environment to make it seem young. You can even juice the ovaries/egg follicles to be hyper fertile (which is how egg withdrawal works to begin with). But it's very, very hard to…
/r/WhereAreAllTheGoodMen21/02/21 11:28 AM
5

A few women born to upper middle class families who go to good colleges and plan to climb the career ladder will get their eggs frozen at 26ish once their careers are rolling. It's pretty uncommon, but a few women did it at my company. It's expensive and actually a bit painful though (tons of shots, then they go in with a large needle to retrieve the eggs from the follicles) so that's an extra hurdle to overcome aside from the cost (6k if you are young, can start getting as high as 20k if you ar…
/r/WhereAreAllTheGoodMen20/02/21 08:22 PM
8

She'll unfreeze eggs. So it really depends almost entirely on the age of the eggs. If she froze her eggs at 20 something? Will probably be successful with little issue. Early 30's? Higher miscarriage chance and other congenital issues. If she froze at 35 and up? Problems shoot up precipitously.
/r/WhereAreAllTheGoodMen20/02/21 06:29 PM
10

Yeah, the only reason the stereotype exists is that the dating pool for many women only includes the physical and psychological profile of men that cheat, and so they presume their skewed sample is indicative of the entire population. I've also never cheated, despite plenty of opportunities and having a personality that would be ideal for womanizing (gregarious, charming schmoozer). And me not cheating wasn't for fear of even being caught. I simply have many interests in life, and endlessly chas…
/r/WhereAreAllTheGoodMen09/02/21 08:29 PM
16

I always find that phrase annoying, but someone being able to make you laugh covaries strongly with people you find attractive already.
/r/WhereAreAllTheGoodMen03/02/21 05:44 PM
3

Yeah, so it sounds like the young men in your family are in a commanding marriage market position. My relatives are rural boys who are employed and can support a family the same way their own fathers had, but not charging ahead professionally.
/r/WhereAreAllTheGoodMen02/02/21 02:29 PM
20

I dunno, I have family members in India that can't get married. Every woman seems to want a man better than themselves in every way. And not just that, the parents are usually involved too, so you have a woman's parent's also vetting the potential GROOM'S parents to make sure they are good enough too.. Go to China and you also have zounds of men that can't get married. Some of it is due to sex ratio disparity, but I guarantee a lot of it is for the same reasons in the west.
/r/WhereAreAllTheGoodMen02/02/21 12:25 PM
5

I think you are over generalizing. I think a woman's income matters to a man when selecting a long term mate, but generally weighs lightly when it comes to a man's attraction toward her. But it is absolutely true that men care way more about the things you mention than money (inverted for women). The fallacy that women like the ones in OP often make is that they pursue a career, make decent money, but because they don't adjust their expectations accordingly (I deserve someone that makes more tha…
/r/WhereAreAllTheGoodMen23/01/21 05:49 PM
6

Eh, it's honest if the terms are clear from the beginning, but of course, if she's honest she's not going to bag a higher value man.
/r/WhereAreAllTheGoodMen21/01/21 07:51 PM
10

What she wants isn't necessarily unreasonable depending on the caliber of the boyfriend she's willing to accept. So if she's high value on the mate market minus her non-exclusivity (which reduces her value as a stable mate), she's willing to accept a low value male (some combination of undesirable traits) AND the boyfriend is aware of the one sided non-exclusivity clause, I think the equation balances out. Some lower value men I'm sure would be willing to trade non-exclusivity for a girl that's …
/r/WhereAreAllTheGoodMen21/01/21 07:45 PM
2

Well, I did get banned from Purple Pill Debate for saying that male depression is a serious societal problem, lol. But yes, I've seen some unfair deplatforming and banning. So Dave Rubin and Jordan Peterson are good examples. This was also the whole MeToo movement's lynch mob mentality, where anyone who gets accused must be guilty. But the spate of deplatforming right now is obviously very, very different than "u sexist go away," and I find myself very saddened by the fact that I'm okay with it.…
/r/WhereAreAllTheGoodMen10/01/21 10:13 PM
6

I think also there's the chance that they can "recalculate" whether they still consider you an ideal mate, and if they don't, you can probably expect behavioral changes. Less patience, more emotional aggression, etc.
/r/WhereAreAllTheGoodMen10/01/21 07:33 PM
7

I'm really sorry to hear that, man. How long were you together before you tied the knot? I honest to goodness believe that if someone does get married, they should be together for upwards of five years beforehand. Anything short of that really doesn't give you a chance to understand their true character. It seems like somewhere in that 5 years, the mask has gotta slip. But of course, I think its absolutely true that many women see the coercive power of marriage as an excuse to stop trying. Why p…
/r/WhereAreAllTheGoodMen10/01/21 04:51 PM
37

As someone who has been happily married for 20 years, I still think you are basically 95 percent right... which says something about our society's incentive structures. Who is going to want to commit to marriage in the future if it is literally nothing but liabilities? The only 5 percent I would dissent is that the "locked in to marriage" aspect can have some positive effects in some cases. It means you can't just give up and duck out on your family as easily. It's like Ceasars burning his own f…
/r/WhereAreAllTheGoodMen10/01/21 04:33 PM
6

Yeah, I agree here. Even the most extreme kind of rhetoric I've ever seen here pales in comparison to what I've seen recently in places like Parlor or thedonald (.win). As long as every other thread doesn't pertain to hanging Mike Pence complete with thousands of upvotes, then WAATGM is probably fine. Not to mention WAATGM has quite a few liberals, moderates, and is quite racially diverse. Redpill notions are pretty mainstream at this point.
/r/WhereAreAllTheGoodMen10/01/21 04:25 PM
13

Yeah, you're right, the shy component matters so much. Men are supposed to approach women, so if they are too shy to do so (extremely common) then its an automatic filter. In an age of dating dominated by first impressions, shyness is fatal. The funny thing is a lot of these guys have totally normal social skills when they are with friends or at work, but approach a woman to ask them out and they just go to pieces, then get pegged as "lacking confidence," and any attempt is over. If I were a wom…
/r/WhereAreAllTheGoodMen06/01/21 07:22 PM
43

I dunno. But he wasn't making bank when they first got together, so something has to be going on there.
/r/WhereAreAllTheGoodMen06/01/21 04:11 PM
184

What's crazy is a lot of these guys make $250,000+, as much as some doctors. Some don't even look half bad. They just are not the kind of guys that ends up on the cover of romance novels or main characters in romantic comedies. Because not only does a love-worthy man need to make a lot of money, he needs to make it in the appropriately cliche field. Women that can overcome these petty impulses are richly rewarded, and I know from experience. My sister was a catch back in the day. I don't like as…
/r/WhereAreAllTheGoodMen06/01/21 02:30 PM
256

Or compromise her standards. I bet you anything that her one standard she won't compromise is she wants "tall and handsome," and so basically she's in the position of shopping for a high end sports car on an extremely constrained budget. The value will reflect the price, one way or another. So of course, the only high end sports cars that will be available will be lemons, over and over and over again. Perhaps she'll get lucky and find one for sale that's in mint condition because the guy who own…
/r/WhereAreAllTheGoodMen06/01/21 01:57 PM
27

"Need to make me laugh." When I hear that, its code for "you need to be sufficiently handsome/wealthy for me to flirtatiously laugh with." Being authentically funny and witty as a man is a bonus for attraction, but most women laugh to telegraph attraction, not because it has anything to do with being actually funny.
/r/WhereAreAllTheGoodMen05/01/21 02:05 PM
9

Oh, that could be the case.
/r/WhereAreAllTheGoodMen29/12/20 01:05 PM
42

The whole non-ex husband thing is the most absurd in my opinion. What, so a Brad Pitt look alike has been sitting around just waiting for her for 28 years without ever having dated around or gotten married? If a Brad Pitt look alike has been unmarried for that long its because he's been hooking up and "playing games" that entire time, and is unlikely to change his tune when he meets someone "average looking and fat." But this kind of thing happens in romance novels all the time, so...
/r/WhereAreAllTheGoodMen29/12/20 12:16 PM
8

The sad thing is how he wonders "what's wrong with him" that his fiancee isn't as sexually enticed by him. The irony is that its "what's right with him" that is turning her off. For a lot of women, nothing makes them want to please a man more than being treated like dirt so as to elicit some scrap of effection. But give away that effection for free? No reason to work for it anymore.
/r/WhereAreAllTheGoodMen26/12/20 09:58 PM
5

It sounds like a scam. "Venmo me the money ahead of time for the sitter, then I'll be at the date promptly at 7 P.M.!"
/r/WhereAreAllTheGoodMen25/12/20 10:39 PM
2

For sure. And like, I get it, some people don't feel like its enough to live the life I described up above (myself included, partially). And so for those people, yeah go live an adventurous life. But I'm not in the business of trying to persuade someone out of their happiness.
/r/WhereAreAllTheGoodMen24/12/20 02:13 PM
4

Beats sitting on your ass watching football in my opinion. Video games are way less expensive too than traveling the world or buying season tickets or watching expensive opera and musicals or buying expensive cars. So if living a quiet life with your girlfriend, working a job you don't hate, and enjoying a relatively low cost hobby is what it takes for your to be happy, I'd say you have it better than most people. The idea that you've gotta go out and get punched by a grizzly bear to have a fulf…
/r/WhereAreAllTheGoodMen24/12/20 12:57 PM
11

I'm all for making sex work legal and destigmatizing it, but the interesting dichotomy is that as soon as its destimatized, it becomes substantially harder to make a buck at it because the stigma itself is what has made it lucrative (I imagine much less so in recent days). And of course, the stigma is what got her fired from her job. So really, she can't have it both ways. She reminds me a bit of a marijuana dealer that wants to continue making top dollar selling weed to small time buyers, but c…
/r/WhereAreAllTheGoodMen17/12/20 09:13 PM
3

Well, exactly. We have a higher standard of living than ever before, and yet we generally misuse it.
/r/WhereAreAllTheGoodMen12/12/20 07:19 PM
24

Yep, I was just telling my wife last night that materially, things are better than they have ever been before (if you set aside temporary chaos of the pandemic). Compared to the rest of human history, longest life expectancy, least violence, all kinds of cool stuff and ability to be mobile and go places, the fucking INTERNET which gives you infinite knowledge at your fingertips, a world that's incredibly peaceful by historical standards... The only real and enduring problem I see is that the ave…
/r/WhereAreAllTheGoodMen12/12/20 12:06 PM
7

Yes, its well studied. The reverse is true when there are not enough women. Men become hyper committed and ready for marriage at the drop of the hat. We're seeing this unfold in India and China as we speak, due to widespread infanticide of female children which has grievously skewed the sex ratio toward boys.
/r/WhereAreAllTheGoodMen11/12/20 11:43 PM
24

Well, when sex ratios have been skewed in the past toward an overabundance of women, they are usually willing to have sex sooner with men who are less interested in committing. So I'd expect a lot of women willing to give it up for a very narrow group of men, who themselves won't commit.
/r/WhereAreAllTheGoodMen11/12/20 12:36 PM
2

A "pan sexual" virgin. Uh hu. Because virgin is what I think when I hear the word pan sexual.
/r/WhereAreAllTheGoodMen05/12/20 09:50 PM
26

I wonder how she'd react if you were as blunt to her as she intends to be blunt to you.
/r/WhereAreAllTheGoodMen01/12/20 12:06 PM
13

Yeah, I am fortunate in this regard too in that my wife and I have overlapping hobbies we like to enjoy by ourselves, but which we can sometimes do together. We both like reading, but not always the same thing, so when there is something we both like we can read it together. Same thing with gaming. My brother's wife, however, has a kind of constant quota of "spend time with me" which means that when he wants to do something he enjoys, its gotta be done at midnight after she goes to sleep.
/r/WhereAreAllTheGoodMen24/11/20 03:33 PM
14

I love that she mentions that She's 5'6 at the end. It's a clever, implied little way to insert a height requirement on applicants.
/r/WhereAreAllTheGoodMen24/11/20 01:24 PM
56

All good points and insightful about "what men want" after 30. I think one of the most underrated things a man can want in a woman is that she have personal hobbies that are solitary. If there's stuff she wants to do with her own time, then you'll have plenty of space to do things with your own time, too. Otherwise, her hobby will be "getting my husband to amuse me."
/r/WhereAreAllTheGoodMen24/11/20 01:23 PM
6

I mean, I find nothing wrong with this profile for a few reasons: 1: She wants a man who also has kids, so they can collaborate on raising them together. She's upfront that number 1 is her priority, and that she wants a man with the same priority. What we have here is the difference between selling a used car on the pretext that it is new and in pristine condition (and at a new price!) vs selling a used car and telling, buyers exactly what condition it is in, and charging an appropriate price. Y…
/r/WhereAreAllTheGoodMen23/11/20 07:45 PM
92

"I will not be held accountable for my actions when you are rude or disrespectful." Oh boy, and you can bet that she gets to be the judge of when you are being rude or disrespectful. In other words, she'll emotionally abuse the crap out of you and then retcon a reason post hoc to make her behavior acceptable. This is a common and relationship killing concept for many women: building a permission structure to treat their boyfriends or spouses terribly.
/r/WhereAreAllTheGoodMen17/11/20 08:39 PM
2

I feel like FDS is more akin to the male pick up artist scene.
/r/WhereAreAllTheGoodMen15/11/20 05:25 PM
11

I can't help but to wonder if some women write these as the first chapter of a fan fiction about their own lives.
/r/WhereAreAllTheGoodMen12/11/20 12:09 PM
6

I think that's pretty reasonable, and I agree with the general premise, so long as the model accomdated variations in individual's psychological "center of gravity" on the spectrum. The majority of men when put in the position of Suileman the Magnificent would choose to have a harem, but it's interesting to note that even he was deeply attached to his "favorite wife." You also have a number of examples of men at the top of the totem pole in history who simply weren't interest in women outside of…
/r/WhereAreAllTheGoodMen10/11/20 11:01 PM
11

Yes, I know, like I said I worked in a sperm competition lab, so this is what you learn on day 1. Beyond anatomy, humans are chock full of mating instincts and behaviors that exist because they were selected for in an environment with infidelity risks. But again, the fallacy is assuming that just because humans aren't obligate monogamous all the time, that they are have no natural monogamous tendencies, or that human beings can't be authentically monogamous. But so think maybe we don't disagree.…
/r/WhereAreAllTheGoodMen10/11/20 09:24 PM
21

Eh, as someone who literally worked in a sperm conpetition lab, I disagree with your first point about tournament mating. Just because humans aren't perfectly monogamous all the time (even the most famously monogamous bird species aren't monogamous all the time) doesn't mean that they are somehow not meant to be at all. Humans sometimes pair bond and sometimes they don't. Sometimes they are polyamorous, sometimes polygamous, etc etc etc. They are dynamic in this way, and each person uniquely fit…
/r/WhereAreAllTheGoodMen10/11/20 06:58 PM
29

Do you find these expectations of black men to be by black women as well? I'm in tech and there are a number of black men in the department too who have mused that a lot of black women turned their noses up at them because they had nerdy interests and were in IT (as opposed to being some kind of alpha business man, athlete, musician, etc.) These guys were doing very well for themselves too, and didn't look half bad.
/r/WhereAreAllTheGoodMen27/10/20 06:48 PM
96

I imagine what's frustrating to all of the other black men that previous poster mentioned is that this young woman's preferences puts pressure on all those men to be their worst possible selves, since the fetishized, archetypal, black, bad boy is what so many of these women want. If that's what it takes to get the girl, well...
/r/WhereAreAllTheGoodMen27/10/20 04:34 PM
18

"I'm 5'8 so height really matters." Lol, because obviously dating a shorter man is a fate worse than death. What's funny is how practically any other "negative" trait in a man is negotiable if offset by other traits deemed favorable (wealth, personality, disposition, other physical traits, even race) but height trumps them all. I think this is the perfect encapsulation of the male depression, suicide, and loneliness epidemic. Something completely out of your control can completely define you in …
/r/WhereAreAllTheGoodMen26/10/20 12:26 PM
8

Her interests are not only the things that 99 percent of people find important, but also the majority of social animals. Way to stand out from the crowd.
/r/WhereAreAllTheGoodMen26/10/20 12:22 PM
26

I was thinking this too. But a ratio of 121:100 is still a massive sex ratio disparity that has tons of perverse effects.
/r/WhereAreAllTheGoodMen26/10/20 09:52 AM
10

More. I know a surgeon who does it, and what's bonkers is it takes months and months of living at the hospital to complete. And it's extremely painful. They keep breaking the bones, pulling the leg apart slowly, and allowing the bone to heal in the gap. It's awful, but people do it anyway to make their kid taller.
/r/WhereAreAllTheGoodMen24/10/20 10:36 AM
90

Of course. A week into their breakup she's talking about dating again? Good old fashioned monkey branching. And of course she wanted to stay in contact with her ex too so she could keep one arm on the branch she'd left, in case she needed to swing back.
/r/WhereAreAllTheGoodMen18/10/20 11:18 AM
9

Sure, I think that happens often, but you can also have a situation where a woman chases men who have no interest in a husband/father relationship.
/r/WhereAreAllTheGoodMen16/10/20 12:12 PM
14

What's just as likely is that her daughter's father DID give her sparks. Nothing breeds lifelong mistakes than mindlessly chasing after tingles.
/r/WhereAreAllTheGoodMen16/10/20 11:47 AM
23

Hm, and her standards are increasing as she gets older, too. It's sorta like running a fruit stand, no one buys your fruit, and while your produce slowly rots you decide to up the price.
/r/WhereAreAllTheGoodMen05/10/20 08:59 PM
17

Traditional for thee, but not for me.
/r/WhereAreAllTheGoodMen21/09/20 02:44 PM
11

"I want a physical body type and career achievements that require hyper masculine qualities to achieve, but I want you to exhibit absolutely 0 hyper masculine qualities in your actual behavior toward me." In other words, she wants Genghis Khan, but she wants Genghis to be so smitten by her for the rest of his life that he--- big, tall, girthy forearmed and penised man that he is--- will surrender to her and bend to her every whim. But when not with her, go back to being a ruthless conquerer. It'…
/r/WhereAreAllTheGoodMen20/09/20 11:41 AM
12

And beyond that, there's no place for a man to exist emotionally That's not vilified. Want to be a macho man? Toxic masculinity. Want to open up and express your sorrow about being lonely? Disgusting Creep/Incel. Somewhere between that there's this tiny, narrow margin where it's okay for a man to exist, and that margin shifts depending on who is observing them.
/r/WhereAreAllTheGoodMen18/09/20 01:11 AM
1

Well, that's what I thought. And I wasn't even being obnoxious. I literally visited that sub because when I saw the name I was like "Oh, I'm basically purple pilled, sounds like a good place for me."
/r/WhereAreAllTheGoodMen18/09/20 01:06 AM
14

Yep. The mods said they'd ban anyone for talking about male loneliness, so I said "wait, are you serious? But male loneliness is a problem!" Ban.
/r/WhereAreAllTheGoodMen18/09/20 12:18 AM
13

Lol, you could, but you'll get banned for saying innocuous things like "male loneliness is a problem in society."
/r/WhereAreAllTheGoodMen17/09/20 11:54 PM
3

How is doing constructive things together shallow?
/r/WhereAreAllTheGoodMen04/09/20 10:47 PM
8

I mean, if it's just for "venting" or validating your feelings, I agree 100 percent. But there's value to opening up to someone else about emotional distress. Sometimes they might have something meaningful to say but just as often being able to say it out loud to another person can help you think through your emotions and get to a better place. Men generally don't really do this very well with one another.
/r/WhereAreAllTheGoodMen04/09/20 09:41 PM
53

I think it likely is more of an issue of how men and women tend to value friendships, and what those friendships exist for. Women tend to have friendships for emotional support (call each other up to complain about spouses, talk about that rough day at work, etc.) Male friendships tend to be more corporeal (helping each other get jobs, giving each other a leg up, get together to build something or get something done). So I think a man's friendship with a woman would be real from the woman's pers…
/r/WhereAreAllTheGoodMen04/09/20 12:55 PM
14

Yep, sad but true. I think the issue is that ambivalence is used by many women as a kind of "mate market price discovery" mechanism. If you act like you care about them too much, it's perceived as you being lower quality than them. Act detached and aloof and they think it's because you have better options.
/r/WhereAreAllTheGoodMen03/09/20 11:45 AM
2

Some good points here, but I'd like to see a movement where men are freed from feeling compelled to be masculine to begin with, and are free to be who they truly are on the inside. There has been tons of social bandwidth staking out space for men to exist on either extreme of the spectrum (gay or trans women vs traditionally masculine men) but very little of anything in between. I'd like to see a movement who's message was "Want to be a traditional man's man? That's okay. Want to be a girly man?…
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates31/08/20 11:50 AM
28

I see some pretty heinous things said about women in some "Red pilled" spaces. Mind you, it's probably just 10 percent of the people, but it's definitely there and on par with some on the contemptuous things said about men in, say, Two X Chromosomes sub. So there's sin to go around for sure. But I'm rather tired of caring about this issue, because it seems so futile. The right wing MRAs lament the loss of a time when men were coerced to be men and women were coerced to be women, and the left win…
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates28/08/20 10:22 PM
10

Yes, this. You can spot drama queens pretty easily, so shouldn't be that hard to avoid them.
/r/WhereAreAllTheGoodMen25/08/20 03:08 PM
73

Comment of the year.
/r/WhereAreAllTheGoodMen25/08/20 02:43 PM
7

I don't even mean a "traditional nuclear family." Just any kind of nuclear family that lasts, as opposed to a 3rd marriage household or live in boyfriends/girlfriends. There are a lot of guys who would want just a wife and kids and house, but that door is shut for many.
/r/WhereAreAllTheGoodMen24/08/20 12:30 AM
14

It really can be a nice thing to have. Damn shame that a thing that was an overwhelmingly common norm is now so hard.
/r/WhereAreAllTheGoodMen24/08/20 12:23 AM
3

Weinstein looks like he's got a great podcast. Will have to give it a listen.
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates23/08/20 05:52 PM
1

This looks excellent, will watch soon.
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates23/08/20 04:09 PM
8

Ah yes, the classic dilemma. What's funny is that if one of these "bad boys" did have a miraculous change of heart and DID commit to her, she'd lose interest and move on to the next bad boy.
/r/WhereAreAllTheGoodMen23/08/20 03:24 PM
20

I mean, the actual person at the top isn't even really super relevant I'd argue. How strong institutions are, trust in science, trust in government, etc is way more important. Like, the electorate who CHOSE someone that responds well--- and an electorate who holds those to account who don't respond correctly, is far more important.
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates22/08/20 03:45 PM
19

Seems like the most likely case. The cat lady stereotype has been around for a long time.
/r/WhereAreAllTheGoodMen22/08/20 12:40 AM
2

I mean, sure, I spent years retraining to be a programmer, but now that I'm there it's way easier than my much lower paying job before. But, like, being a not shit parent and raising successful kids doesn't happen by accident either. If you aren't a parent it's easy to think "oh, you just sort of have to be around while they grow and shove cheerios in their mouth." This entire sub I think is proof that it isn't that simple.
/r/WhereAreAllTheGoodMen20/08/20 03:28 PM
4

I mean, sure, some jobs are super hard and some are easy. My cushy job as a programmer is way easier than the time I spent raising two kids in diapers. However, my earlier job which was physically intense and at times risky was harder than either. But my point is that raising those two kids in diapers was basically on par with a full time job, for sure, mainly because any time they are not napping is a time you've got to be supervising them. It's like you can never take your mind off of them, so…
/r/WhereAreAllTheGoodMen20/08/20 12:24 PM
21

It depends on the age of the kids. 0-3 is basically like a full time job and 4-5 is a little easier, but still time consuming. There's a reason why most stay at home parents get back into the labor force after 5 years of age. The kids are in school for 6ish hours and you've got this big block of time. Those that don't go back to work, have just two primary school age kids, and still moan about how "being a mom is a 24 hour a day job"? Cringe.
/r/WhereAreAllTheGoodMen20/08/20 10:55 AM
21

"Highly doubtful that humans are a pair bonding species"? I'm very skeptical. Like, if you are meaning to say that humans aren't perfectly monogamous or are not entirely compelled by pair bonding, than sure. If we weren't at all a pair bonding species than no one would have their feelings hurt by a spouse cheating because there would be no pair bond to violate. I think anyone who is an evolutionary psychologist or behavioral ecologist will recognize that what makes humans behavior unique is how …
/r/WhereAreAllTheGoodMen19/08/20 09:17 PM
24

First off, it's very sad and discouraging to hear that you put all of that emotional work in for your girlfriend, and she couldn't be bothered to do the same. But you are fundamentally right. I think this is a true observation, and the reason is simple. Just look at how men are "vulnerable" in chick flicks. Are they a whimpering, weeping hot mess? No, not at all. What is this emotional vulnerability? Their NEED of the female protagonist. "I love you baby, I need you baby. You're everything to me…
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates17/08/20 11:09 AM
3

I'm sorry that you've struggled through this. I think there are many, many men in the world that at least identify as someone who at least partially feels more at home in the many domains of that we traditionally consider "feminine." It sounds like you are one of those people, though I don't want to speak for you given that you haven't expressed in what way. I've always had traditionally masculine mannerisms, but I've always felt "more like a woman" in one particular way for pretty much my entir…
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates14/08/20 08:03 PM
6

Good analysis. The funny thing though is it feels like all of the academic gender studies theorizing just gets in the way of moving trans rights ahead more than it helps. To me, I don't need some complex pomo treatise to convince me to be okay with trans people. Like, if someone is trans, they're a person, I know gender dysphoria is a real thing, and I don't want to be an asshole, so as far as I am concerned just tell me how you want me to see you and I'll see you that way. This seems like such …
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates14/08/20 07:31 PM
3

Good points. However, I've never been able to determine how the post modern, non-TERF feminist crowd reconciles the notion that gender is something that does not materially exist beyond being a social construct, but then turns around and also insist that trans-people who very, very, very much want to conform to very specific gender binaries are totally cool. Trans men and women often try pretty aggressively to confirm to these binaries that feminists have tried to tear down for so long. It can k…
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates14/08/20 06:54 PM
14

By the way, there is a significant rift in feminist circles over this question. One side is accepting of trans people, the other is resentful. The reasons are interesting. Some of the older guard feminists have built this kind of fiefdom around femaleness, and they feel like trans women are a Trojan horse for men to sneak into and pollute their territory. Go ahead and Google the controversy over J.K. Rawling for a good example of how that civil war is playing out.
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates14/08/20 11:28 AM
7

Wtf? Are you trolling? When did I ever recommend infanticide for boys? Edit: Nevermind, it sounds like you are trying to just make some kind of strawman to pick a fight. I'm not going to dignify this with any further comment.
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates13/08/20 10:33 PM
46

Of course, and it goes beyond Reddit. In popular culture it's common to impugn men as an entire demographic without consequence. On talk shows a common applause line is stuff like: "Men, aren't they just awful?" And of course when men are significantly surpassed by women in some regard, it's celebrated. This kind of attitude unironically pervades the culture.
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates13/08/20 07:50 PM
7

A better analogy would be the Satanic Panic of the 80's and 90's. Google it and it will blow your mind. My brother's pre-school teacher--- along with other pre-school teachers all over the country--- were charged with sexually abusing children with Satanic rituals. It got so bad in some towns that people were fleeing for fear of being the next person accused. There was no evidence in any of the cases, just the testimony of very creative, very young children who were encouraged by "therapists" an…
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates13/08/20 11:18 AM
5

Great letters, and this is definitely a feminist' s perspective I can mostly get behind. Unfortunately, as she said so herself, her opinion is in the significant minority, and I'm curious to what extent she would be charged for heresy in academia for expressing the perspectives in this letter too loudly in academic circles I like her approach in stating that the status quo is bad for men and women in relatively equal proportions. I'll have to follow her work.
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates12/08/20 08:34 PM
3

Yep, porn is kinda like alcohol. Some people with addictive behaviors can spiral down the road of abuse and over use, but in many, many cases excessive use is a self medication mechanism. An unhealthy, emotionally abusive, sexless marriage (in a society that doesn't care whether or not men are in pain because of it) is going to be filled with porn to take the edge off.
/r/WhereAreAllTheGoodMen11/08/20 09:11 PM
4

This sucks, I'm sorry :( Sadly, it seems like you did a necessary test of whether the relationship was valued by your ex, and apparently it wasn't. Seems like she wanted out for awhile. I've noticed that when many women want out of a marriage, they might avoid doing things that are straight up grounds for divorce (like flagrantly cheating) but will instead intentionally make the marriage an intolerable, emotional grind. In these cases, the husband seems to have 1 of 2 choices: either become a po…
/r/WhereAreAllTheGoodMen11/08/20 08:12 PM
3

Ugh. Sorry about your kids. They are almost exactly the same age as my kids. Just thinking about how they'd react to breaking up the household breaks my heart. Why does your wife want a divorce, if I may ask? To the question, I seem to remember that the more each parent is involved, the better the outcome. Lots of kids obviously go through a household divorce and come out fine, but the common denominator of success seems to be whether the kids can get that same amount of parental attentiveness a…
/r/WhereAreAllTheGoodMen11/08/20 11:07 AM
3

It honestly depends on what you consider a good life is. Like, if you want to devote your life to your family and raise your kids, women have it better and men have it worse. If you want to have more personal liberties and freedom to move about society and do as you please? I'm pretty sure men have it better. Depends on what you value more as an individual. My impression though it that most people in the modern world have television and probably even internet access. Once you see other people ha…
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates11/08/20 12:44 AM
4

I mean, I agree that men in the developing world have unique problems that women don't have, but I feel like I'd definitely rather deal with the problems men have. It depends on WHICH country to be sure, but let's be real: in a lot of developing countries women are either rarely allowed to leave the house or they have to vet everything with a male relative. Like, when there are severe limits on basic autonomy... I have a lot of family from South Asia, and my casual but very accute observation is…
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates10/08/20 11:26 PM
2

Woot.
/r/WhereAreAllTheGoodMen10/08/20 11:10 PM
35

"But maybe I can change him..."
/r/WhereAreAllTheGoodMen10/08/20 05:06 PM
15

It seems like there has become a permanent class bifurcation. Stable marriages and two parent households are now tightly associated with high income. I think we can all safely assume that a major contributing factor in these cases is that these women managed to bag the high earning man they believe they deserve. Unfortunately, you have tons of women with the same qualities who decided never to settle, so rather than go childless, settle for a man not up to their standards, or go it alone, they d…
/r/WhereAreAllTheGoodMen10/08/20 02:42 PM
45

I can tell you exactly why. I'll bet you anything that if you go through her post history you'll find her expressing her reservations in some sub about whether she should keep the baby and everyone else says: "You got this! It's easy! You can do it!" Then if you look through the post history of THOSE women you'll notice them complaining in other subs how hard it is to be a single mother. In other words, all of the women who are suffering for their poor decisions are convincing other women to com…
/r/WhereAreAllTheGoodMen10/08/20 12:34 PM
181

Hm.... "we broke up and so got pregnant soon after." I can't help but to wonder whether the true chain of events was more like: I was seeing another guy on the side, got pregnant by that guy, and in the attempt to monkey branch from the old guy to the new guy I instead missed the next branch and then plunged to the forest floor.
/r/WhereAreAllTheGoodMen10/08/20 12:27 PM
5

I believe the terms mean different things. The derogatory "nice guy" is supposed to be a guy who is superficially nice but upon being rejected, the facade immediately falls off and they aren't nice at all. Of course, someone actual nice guys who are sad at being rejected sometimes get lumped into this same ridicule, too.
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates10/08/20 03:05 AM
17

Sigh. He said absolutely nothing that was inflammatory or outrageous. Very level headed, very thoughtful the whole time. The offense he had committed (as well as Obama) was to take personal responsibility on behalf of the demographic he wanted to improve. Like, I agree that there are issues with systematic racism, but if we're being honest, centuries of oppression of African Americans has metasticized into cultural attitudes that are counter to building black wealth and will continue to be until…
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates09/08/20 10:59 PM
2

I care a lot less about specific issues and much more about whether the political system is operating in a healthy fashion. A healthy political system will respond to the need of its citizens. My impression is that left wingers rising to the occasion of right wing demagoguery simply pushes more people to vote against their interests, and then it doesn't matter what issues you might be advocating for on the left, because the people you are trying to help are being driven to vote against their own…
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates08/08/20 12:54 PM
5

Evolutionary Psychology is extremely misrepresented in Red Pill circles, I've found. It's as if everyone read just chapter 7 of the Evo Psych 101 textbook and decided that it explains all of human sexual behavior. In reality, human sexual behavior is extremely complex.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/08/20 11:52 AM
6

No one's goal is to "propagate the human race." If it were, we'd be eusocial. Also, a female's Darwinian goal is the same as a man's Darwinian goal: producing as many surviving offspring as possible, and in a pre-modern context, that rarely means just having sex with as many people as possible. Humans aren't broadcast spawners, our offspring require Herculean amounts of investments. There is no "best" seed just as there are no "best" adaptations, there are only adaptations that succeed in specif…
/r/PurplePillDebate08/08/20 11:28 AM
2

If we're being honest, we should be curious to know the extent of the direction of causality. Is casual sex making women depressed or are depressed women self medicating with sex? Self medicating with alcohol and drugs is common, so I'd be surprised if some depressed women didn't also do the same with sex. Unfortunately I doubt there are any properly designed experiments to test this ("hey control group of non depressed women, go have lots of casual sex with randos and report back whether you fe…
/r/PurplePillDebate08/08/20 11:24 AM
14

This is a good point. I think academic feminism has always used the tippy top crust of men to measure women's progress against, and not the aggregate statistical average of men and women. So yeah, there are still more men in corporate board rooms than women, but things like higher suicide rates go unexamined.
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates07/08/20 06:29 PM
0

Let me put it this way: each time my wife became pregnant, I really, really hoped they would both be girls. Starting now, for the first time in human history, it will be better to be born a girl in the developed world than a boy. By the way, I was relieved to have had two girls.
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates07/08/20 06:27 PM
4

You make so many great points here. In many ways the alt right is manufactured by the extreme left. Like, when your own side makes a recreational activity out of hating you for something you have no control over, it really makes you re-evaluate which side you should be on. If it weren't for the current toxicity and science denialism of the right, I don't think I'd consider myself center left at all.
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates07/08/20 06:25 PM
9

At the end of the day, movements are more effective when they have an enemy. I think white men are an irresistible enemy. Caring about men's issues would require giving up their enemy, which is why (in the rare event) when they DO talk about men's issues, they explicitly blame other men and absolve women of their agency and roles in these negative outcomes.
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates07/08/20 06:14 PM
1

I think the biggest problem is just the frequency of openly, proudly racist and misogynistic language in a lot of the "manosphere." Like, I'm not against gender equality. I'm not against making traditionally male dominated industries or roles more welcoming to women. My actual desire is to see that the gender equality movement go the other way too (which it pretty much doesn't unless it involves blaming men for their own problems). But of course, that would require women recognizing that their p…
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates07/08/20 06:10 PM
2

Exactly. I think the general perception is that the ideal father is the one who is the primary breadwinner and who "helps" with the kids, but who doesn't devote the majority of his effort to the household. I felt that perception pretty acutely, so I always made sure to be making money while I took care of the kids, even if it meant working every weekend for years on end. And yet when I look back at my life, my happiest and most satisfying moments were when I was raising my children.
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates07/08/20 05:45 PM
6

For sure. I've found that adult men are waaaay less judgemental about these things than a lot of women. I remember when I was the primary caregiver for my kids when they were little, I was very, very unwelcome in mommy groups and online parenthood/baby forums. And of course, if you have two male dating profiles--- one that says "my aspiration in life is to primarily be a stay at home dad and raise my kids" vs "I want to make tons of money and climb high in my career," it's very obvious which one…
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates07/08/20 12:39 PM
6

Well, I'd say that in early times, men and women were both shoe horned into specific societal roles, whether they liked it or not. Some men almost certainly loved going off to war, and some women enjoyed the domestic life. But many probably didn't. I presume many men would have been happier managing their children, homestead, and household while some women craved "men's work," and you see some women like Eleanor of Aquitaine or Cleopatra or Empress Irene finding ways to go off to war at the head…
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates07/08/20 11:58 AM
1

Trad-cuck. Someone want to explain that phrase to me, because I've never encountered it before.
/r/WhereAreAllTheGoodMen06/08/20 06:35 PM
3

I think I found some other subs yesterday that are probably better for this kind of thing, which aren't vitriolic like a lot of "men's rights" communities, and don't seem to just be spammed by loud hate speech. Like, I completely understand the problem with hate speech in online communities. When you let too much of it happen, these guys take over and end up pushing everybody else out of it. But it's also very easy to over compensate and ban anything that remotely looks like the kind of speech t…
/r/PurplePillDebate06/08/20 11:16 AM
5

Where did I say I was referring to this sub? Read the prior comment that I was replying to for pertinent context. I would argue though that banning completely innocuous issues from discussion because they are deemed "heretical" though is the result of popular feminism influencing broader society, including subs like this, so if you want a connection, there it is. Still boggles my mind that male depression is considered a taboo, bannable subject. I guess because if you are worried about the rise …
/r/PurplePillDebate05/08/20 09:10 PM
7

I mean, it's kind of the premise of every other young adult novel though, isn't it? "Super hot vampire guy and super hot werewolf guy both want me and are in conflict over who will get me and they are both so attractive in their own ways! Oh, the tyranny of having to choose!" But I don't think a harem is the right way to think of the situation, as earlier comments have suggested. It's definitely more like "let the desireable men compete for my affections, and may the best rise to the top." Women…
/r/PurplePillDebate05/08/20 11:52 AM
1

It was a different woman, not Aparna. If it was Aparna, I agree, he dodged a bullet (that podcaster dodged a bullet for sure). But Let's be serious: there's a reason this sub is called where are all the good men? Most women's financial standards are too high, and guys like this one get rejected for few reasons other than that their bank account and the "status level" of their profession, even though they are making a perfectly good living.
/r/WhereAreAllTheGoodMen05/08/20 11:22 AM
3

Really great to see people who are like minded :) When I'm not being called a radical leftist communist, I'm a fascist Incel. I'm sure you've had that experience before too, lol.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/08/20 03:14 AM
3

I just got good advice today about 2 subs that seemed to be what I was looking for, so I've had a lot to say today. I literally discovered that sub today. I usually don't hear these kinds of arguments expressed in sensible, calm ways (plenty of angry red pillers out there that are speaking from bitterness though. That I have encountered a lot of, and I consider that to be different from some of the more even handed perspectives I've seen in the two subs.) But you are free to feel however you'd l…
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates05/08/20 03:07 AM
19

I think this is a good subject, thank you. This is a conclusion I also independently came to some time ago. I remember enthusiastically taking gender studies classes in college, thinking that I would find insight about thoughts on masculinity that I myself struggled with. Yet absolutely nothing described or illuminated my own experience. Instead, it was all about men hurting women and men hurting men. And to be clear, a lot of this was true, but I slowly started to realize that academic and pop …
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates04/08/20 11:51 PM
16

I think it's unfortunate that you say this, because some people may be having this conversation for the first time. Let's not succumb to the whole attitude of "you Can't participate in this conversation because the internet has already discussed it once before" kind of attitude. I saw this post--- as someone new to the sub--- and thought it was a good subject of discussion.
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates04/08/20 11:40 PM
3

Unfortunately, its progressively been going that way. But honestly, the right is just as bad, you just have to worship a different God. Church of red and church of blue. At this point, which ever end of the political spectrum stops publicly executing its loyal followers for cracking the wrong side of the egg, I'll join.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/08/20 11:11 PM
5

The tragic tale of our times. The middle is vanishing. Thanks for being a reasonable person LeJacquelope. Someone recommended a sub to me that looks like it could be my cup of tea, and isn't a toxic wasteland.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/08/20 11:09 PM
2

Like, I'd understand if this sub had a more narrow perspective... but its LITERALLY meant to be a discussion of the topics they are now banning. I mean literally, literally. It's in the sub's name. I guess if they want to change its purpose, they can turn it into an echo chamber if they'd like, but there are already so many of those already (including most Red Pilled subs, in fact).
/r/PurplePillDebate04/08/20 11:08 PM
3

Thanks, I will check it out. I just want a place that would like to reform social perspectives of men without the toxicity, misogyny, racism, etc etc. I know it's probably a fool's errand, but perhaps this is an option.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/08/20 09:18 PM
6

The point is the question of whether someone should be allowed to express the idea that "the trend of male loneliness and depression is a problem." I'm gobsmacked that this idea is controversial. It's unbelievably dehumanizing.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/08/20 09:15 PM
7

Well, I was participating in some of the "manosphere" subs hoping to express more moderate ideas to chill everyone down a bit (like men should be encourage to participate in nurturing professions like women) and while it was generally well received, I was getting tired of the occasional racism and sexism flaring up. When I noticed "purple pill debate" a few days ago, I was like "This is great! A place that people can have polite debates about deeper gender issues." Apparently not. I don't get it…
/r/PurplePillDebate04/08/20 09:11 PM
17

About what I expected. What's funny is that I really dislike subs like "WhereAreAllTheGoodMen", but it's literally the only place I can go and not be ridiculed or banned for saying things like "Men have feelings too, and we should value those feelings." Is there any wonder why there is a backlash to the gender equality movement? No, it's because even the people who support it are used and abused.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/08/20 08:30 PM
6

Not sure this message will go through because I'll probably be banned for saying that men should be allowed to express their feelings, but it should be no wonder to anyone why otherwise moderate men get shunted into extreme, right wing places. They are banished by people that should be their allies and treated like trash for their innocuous perspectives.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/08/20 08:26 PM
15

Yep, speaking as someone center left myself, I agree. This is honestly what bothers me most about the left: banning even the discussion of a subject because it is "heresy." Like, I get banning violent speech or Neo Nazis or hate speech, I have to do it myself in my own communities or those guys take over the place and ruin it for everyone. But banning debates about male loneliness??? What, men expressing their loneliness and pain is heretical somehow??
/r/PurplePillDebate04/08/20 08:19 PM
18

My thoughts exactly. Pop feminism: "The problem with men is toxic masculinity, and their unwillingness to express their emotions in honest and ernest ways!" Man: "Oh, thank goodness. It's extremely alienating not to be able to say what you feel without being chastised or ridiculed or called pathetic. It's part of the loneliness I feel in life as a man---" Pop Feminism: "Ew, gross! Stop expressing your disgusting feelings. Banned!"
/r/PurplePillDebate04/08/20 08:05 PM
20

Like, okay, I understand that Incels get harsher treatment because they are way more likely to express violence toward women... But banning people who make light of the loneliness epidemic among men??? Dude, that's not just an issue that influences the toxic, hate filled guys over at Incel.me, and it has very little to do with actual sex. I read this post here and said to myself: "I sure don't agree with everything the men's rights activists have to say, but this post banning discussion of male …
/r/PurplePillDebate04/08/20 07:58 PM
-1

Being short is bad genetics? Lol. If it was bad genetics, it would have been selected against for millions of years, and we'd all be taller.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/08/20 11:04 AM
2

Yeah, that's a good point. It all depends on a person's own personal desires in life. I consider myself blessed as someone who doesn't crave novelty, but likes familiarity. That's why I never expect other people to live the way so do, or want the things I want. Everyone has to figure out what's right for themselves. Fortunately, I discovered What's right for me early on and stuck with it.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/08/20 04:22 AM
1

I had a hard time getting past the whole "everyone is in hookup culture and no one is interested in loving relationship sex" argument. I'm skeptical that it's actually true. Some people are into hookup culture, but is there empirical evidence for how pervasive you claim it to be? I seem to remember that people with loose standards today are no more abundant than any other time in the past 70 years (remember the free love, drug addled 60's???) Every young person me is still having conventional bo…
/r/PurplePillDebate04/08/20 12:24 AM
4

Height requirements frankly are worse, in my opinion. What's more shallow? Caring about something that is in someone's control or caring about something that's out of someone's control? I'm sure plenty of people will think the same.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/08/20 12:19 AM
4

First off, the whole government safety net thing is radically over estimated in its scale, and while we still talk like it still exists as it did in the 80's and 90's, the safety net has been gutted to the point of being non-existent since then. Most single moms are working moms. As for forcing men to "man up," I'd totally be game... if men had a say in whether a pregnancy was carried to term or not. If a woman shouldn't be forced to have children and bear the costs against her will, neither sho…
/r/PurplePillDebate04/08/20 12:17 AM
0

Seems reasonable, I'd just argue that young women have a good chance of not being interested in men of their immediate age category because said men aren't yet financially independent.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/08/20 12:10 AM
4

I agree 100 percent with your title, sir, but most of the other stuff is too much of a dichotomy. So the stuff I agree with: women have been encouraged to branch off and be whoever and whatever they want to be. Great. Men, on the other hand, are still expected to be success objects, and most women still evaluate a potential mate on that criteria. Not great. But the argument against marriage? Like, I'm guessing you are still young, because you are fixated a lot on sex, which is very normal. Sex i…
/r/PurplePillDebate03/08/20 11:59 PM
1

Bravo, exactly what I would say.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/08/20 11:46 PM
1

Sounds like you got a reasonable head on your shoulders. Things will work out. I do understand what it feels like though to "fit the description" for what someone says they want, but then watch as a guy who is OPPOSITE of that description generates the excitement. I know women who mean what they say though. My sister (who is pretty objectively attractive) has always been deliberate in her attraction to smart, nerdy guys with good natures and temperaments (and also were always shorter than her). …
/r/PurplePillDebate03/08/20 08:55 PM
2

Go with the baby bear approach. Not too hot, not too cold, but just right. If you complain and whine about everything all the time, most women are going to see that as a turnoff. What's more, if you express positive feelings about your partner TOO much early on ("I love you so much. So so much. Baby did I say I love you? I'll die without you!") It can come across as clingy and pathetic. Not so much the case if you are in, say, a 20 year marriage and both know you are in it for the long haul. As …
/r/PurplePillDebate03/08/20 06:56 PM
2

Because the mate market is real, mate market value is real, but the whole Red Pill Chad vs Beta Billy narrative is mostly BS when it comes to the real world, except for some (and perhaps a considerable number of) women. The funny thing is my subject area of study in STEM was sociobiology and evolutionary psychology, and if you actually study these subjects academically you'll notice they diverge substantially from how they are represented in Red Pill circles. It turns out that the human brain an…
/r/PurplePillDebate03/08/20 06:42 PM
1

For some women this advice is 100 percent valid, because it's what some women actually want. However, women who want shallower things in a partner will give you the advice you mentioned because if they were to advise you about what they really wanted, it would force them to recognize that they were being shallow. Keep in mind though that even for the first category of women I mentioned, just because you might fit that specific criteria it doesn't mean it fits their other criteria, even if those …
/r/PurplePillDebate03/08/20 06:20 PM
43

By the way, there was another scene from this show that was just as poignant as this one. Basically there was this tall, charming, super nice teacher guy that was trying to use the matchmaker to find a woman to marry. Big teddy bear of a guy. His first date was with a woman that was quite a few years olders than him (37 years old I think) and she seemed quite into him right up until the moment he disclosed that he was a teacher (and then pay scale that came with it). She cloaked her eventual rej…
/r/WhereAreAllTheGoodMen03/08/20 03:14 PM
2

Ha, that's exactly what I was thinking. You've got all these guys losing their high diligence, low knowledge jobs in manufacturing and trucking and similar fields, but most of the jobs remaining aren't open to them. And even if they are the lucky few to keep these kinds of jobs, it's not enough for the kind of validation that comes with a woman saying: "I choose you" because it either doesn't come with a college education or high enough pay.
/r/WhereAreAllTheGoodMen03/08/20 03:09 PM
8

Yeah, I agree. And we will certainly end up with the scenario you illustrate if we don't actually have some kind of concerted social movement to make it happen. Of course right now, that isn't happening in any way, shape, or form. Traditionally female professions and spaces are still almost entirely shut to men, and aside from 0 effort being made to rectify it, it's not even recognized as a problem to begin with in popular culture. If I'd been born a woman, I would have pursued the thing I was p…
/r/WhereAreAllTheGoodMen03/08/20 02:36 PM
23

I feel like it's a failure to reconcile remnants of traditional values. Most women joining the developed world want the new privilege of personal liberties but don't want to give up the privilege of having a husband who is wealthier than her. I have male family in India who are as doomed in the dating/marriage quest as many guys here in the U.S., because standards for men are so radically high.
/r/WhereAreAllTheGoodMen03/08/20 01:19 PM
8

Stole my comment. At least she saw the light before 35, when things REALLY start getting dire. That being said if you wanted to be a career woman and still have kids, you can generally be out of college and in an established career by 26-28, when you are way less likely to have issues.
/r/WhereAreAllTheGoodMen03/08/20 10:55 AM
2

And as an interesting observation, waaaay more likely to get divorced than hetero couples and gay men in marriage.
/r/MensRights02/08/20 10:45 PM
6

I mean, Maxwell was basically as bad as Epstein, right? Yet everyone seems significantly less repulsed by her than Epstein. Curious.
/r/MensRights02/08/20 10:43 PM
5

Seems improbable, like maybe a troll post. I mean, not that someone wouldn't try to do this materially, but there isn't enough rationalizing in this post. People don't just say "I cheated on my husband and now I'm gonna sap all his money away, muhaha!" They say "He made me cheat, which I had to do because he was always working and not paying enough attention to me. That's emotional abuse, isn't it? So now I deserve his earnings because he wronged me so terribly!" Not saying that this post couldn…
/r/WhereAreAllTheGoodMen01/08/20 05:38 PM
1

Until the magnate becomes the government. There's literally a word to describe this phenomenon: Plutocracy.
/r/WhereAreAllTheGoodMen28/07/20 12:47 AM
1

Well, sure, I agree, but give the government too little power and magnates arise to seize the reigns of power and build of government that suits their own interests at the cost of everyone else. Nature abhores a vacuum. Success seems to come in finding a balance.
/r/WhereAreAllTheGoodMen27/07/20 05:36 PM
1

Last time I checked, rivers weren't catching on fire anymore and coal soot wasn't drifting in through elementary school windows, and iodine and folate supplements to the food supply increased GDP by around 20 percent, to name a few. Like, I get it. I don't want the government making video games or cars or phones, because they'll suck at it. But governments have done reasonably well in controlling negative externalities. And What's more, some form of government is the only meaningful solution. Th…
/r/WhereAreAllTheGoodMen26/07/20 01:10 PM
1

Huh??? I don't understand. Paul Ehrlich isn't a climatologist, so why are climatologists being held accountable for someone who wrote a pop-book on population biology? Actually, nevermind, I think you have now exhaustively proven my point for why this a waste of time. Good day.
/r/WhereAreAllTheGoodMen24/07/20 10:15 PM
1

Al Gore is full of crap. What's your point? Al Gore is no different than the other "opinion" shapers that you are getting your perspective from. I'm not interested in what they have to say, because their objective ISN'T understanding empirical reality, it's making the populace believe in their own invented reality. But judging by all of the buzz words and cherry picked datapoints You've cited, You've never picked up a peer reviewed journal and gone directly to the source in your life. But hey, a…
/r/WhereAreAllTheGoodMen24/07/20 09:23 PM
1

Sigh. And this is exactly what I'm talking about. It doesn't sound to me like you are citing anything from a primary source meta analysis or U.N. Assessment report, but instead you've had your information laundered through some right wing think tank with an agenda. Attend any climate conference (which I have) or hang out with modelers all day (which I do, since I'm a graph database analytics modeler) and you'll see that modelers are constantly equivocating on what they do and don't know, and the…
/r/WhereAreAllTheGoodMen24/07/20 09:06 PM
1

Yep, software developer here, so I understand the analogy perfectly, lol. I hate to say it, but I fall squarely into the category of "humans will never intentionally adapt to our new, information rich societies." I think, perhaps, the "invisible hand" of self organization and emergent outcomes might save us in the end, but I'm not counting on it. We made it through the nuclear age without a nuclear holocaust (which I would have bet against then, as well), so maybe there is hope.
/r/WhereAreAllTheGoodMen24/07/20 04:42 PM
2

I think this would be the most pragmatic way to approach the argument, that way a politician can stand up and say: "We're going to help black kids in the inner city AND those white kids in Appalachia with no hope for a good future." Its a solution for everyone, and white men don't have to feel like they are the target of demagoguery (which would make them more likely to support it). Like, 90 percent of the problems related to race in the U.S. boils down to one simple thing: concentrated black po…
/r/WhereAreAllTheGoodMen24/07/20 04:39 PM
5

Fortunately on the left, (in my experience) there aren't really that many people that believe this garbage, they are just extremely loud and highly concentrated on University campuses. However, much of the left sort of ascribes to "lite" versions of these concepts (something something sexism, something something racism). And if you are a conservative who doesn't believe that the hard sciences are polluted then, well, you are one of the "principled conservatives" because I constantly witness cons…
/r/WhereAreAllTheGoodMen24/07/20 04:22 PM
3

Yeah, well I see that as a kind of "social engineering" and less a matter of goosing the data of a field of science to match your ideology. And I think there can be a good, vibrant debate around weighing the costs and benefits of affirmative action, but of course we can never get anywhere close to having that honest conversation. Conservatives seem to want everyone to always pull themselves up by the bootstraps regardless of how much a demographic has been crapped on, and liberals want to insist…
/r/WhereAreAllTheGoodMen24/07/20 04:11 PM
5

The advantage STEM has though is that--- if you are wrong--- the things you build with it fail. If you experiment in physics to understand physics and your research mythology is biased, you crash your probe into Mars and you know you were wrong. You don't really have that same "ultimate verification" with the soft sciences or--- frankly--- people's bullshit opinions. And what's worse now is that STEM can give us good data about the world, but people then just straight up ignore it anyway (OMG, v…
/r/WhereAreAllTheGoodMen24/07/20 03:26 PM
6

I agree, but I dunno man, what ISN'T an echochamber anymore? It annoys me when people wail on how "the main stream media is biased"(which it is) and then go on to plunge themselves into "sources" that are even more detached from any empirical reality. "CNN is biased and untrustworthy. Now watch this totally credible YouTube video on how Bill Gate is part of the Reptillian Alien Illuminati and how he's trying to inject us with mind control agents." It seems like the louder someone calls other peo…
/r/WhereAreAllTheGoodMen24/07/20 02:11 PM
14

That's a great point. The reason I think is that the intention is to borrow from the experimental legitimacy and replication of the real sciences by putting "science" in the name. And while they do try to experiment, the soft sciences are swamps of poor experimental design and pseudoreplication.
/r/WhereAreAllTheGoodMen24/07/20 12:33 PM
13

Basically. Postmodernism insists that there is no such thing as objective truth, so you might as well believe whatever the heck you want about the universe. I remember I went to a feminist student union meeting in college once because I had the moderate center left perspective of: "Hey, I support gender equality." But when the leaders of the union started saying some bonkers things like "the notion of male and female are social constructs" I got really confused. I was in school for biology and g…
/r/WhereAreAllTheGoodMen24/07/20 12:26 PM
43

I'd argue that the "post modern crap" is less than useless. It preaches an adversarial perspective of science and engineering, fields that are actually useful for improving the world.
/r/WhereAreAllTheGoodMen24/07/20 10:56 AM
1

Come to think of it, I do know tech folk in Austin who are inked and have the punk vibe, and you're right, it's startup freelancer type folk. My work is in Charlotte though, and they are all family oriented, South Asian (another demographic I've never seen tatted), or corporate ladder climbers. Maybe it's a banking thing.
/r/WhereAreAllTheGoodMen22/07/20 10:45 AM
9

I mean, being a sub that aims for brutal honesty, let's be honest: tattoos covary strongly with lower income and lower class. Not always the case, but even in my personal life, I can't think of a single person I've ever seen in medicine or IT or engineering with a tattoo. Scratch that, I knew 1 guy in 500 at the tech center I work at with a tiny tattoo of the word "code," and he sort of projects as a tough guy type. I also knew a marine biologist with a killer tattoo of an octopus because she st…
/r/WhereAreAllTheGoodMen22/07/20 12:26 AM
5

First off, this seems fake. But assuming it's true, it seems like it's always the women who are already in the top 20 percent of attractiveness who just aren't satisfied and want cosmetic surgery.
/r/WhereAreAllTheGoodMen21/07/20 12:24 PM
10

If you have the patience, there is a gem down lower in the article where the interviewee is giving advice to the interviewer on where to find men that fit her criteria of high income, high education, and good temperament: tech. The interviewer then proceeds to interupt and ridicule said men. So not only do elligible men need to be high earning and college educated AND smarter than the women in question, but they also need to have the psychological profile of the kind of man who is actually none …
/r/WhereAreAllTheGoodMen17/07/20 11:53 AM
14

Well, she's definitely not going to get paid much because she's really bad at her job. I remember listening to some interviews awhile back with sex workers did were highly successful, many of them well into their 40's. The trick for them (both financially and emotionally) was to actually care about the wellbeing of their clients, get to know them, sympathize. Some of them said that their job felt partly like a counselor or therapist. And the funny thing was that their clients ended up having les…
/r/WhereAreAllTheGoodMen17/07/20 11:06 AM
19

Lol, she kind of reminds me of all the employers who demand 5 years experience for starting positions, and then complain that they aren't getting enough applicants. I would say to this woman: do you suppose perhaps that the reason some of these guys are open to a long term relationship but haven't been in one is due to so many women like you refusing to date "inexperienced men"? In the same way that employers want some other employer to validate an employee's value, many women evaluate a man's w…
/r/WhereAreAllTheGoodMen06/07/20 09:06 PM
9

Girl: "I made a mistake!" Boyfriend: "Oh, well, can you make a mistake for me then, too?" Girl: "No."
/r/WhereAreAllTheGoodMen06/07/20 11:39 AM
1

By the way, I noticed there was a chat notification but couldn't access it. Not sure what's wrong :(
/r/WhereAreAllTheGoodMen04/07/20 05:37 PM
20

What do you mean the last minute??? Didn't you see her talking about how some women have babies at 50?? If super special exceptions exist, then she is surely a super special exceptions too!
/r/WhereAreAllTheGoodMen01/07/20 11:27 AM
8

I mean, maybe you are going a little far saying it's always that way, but I would definitely agree with the notion that this kind of behavior is the default for the majority of women, and despite being a kind of emotional abuse, is not something that is discouraged by our culture (and thus, is never corrected). Everyone roundly agrees that a man who hits his wife is bad and wrong and terrible, but a woman who whittles down her husband's soul with emotional abuse year after year is a punchline. T…
/r/WhereAreAllTheGoodMen29/06/20 10:45 PM
1

Sure! Would appreciate the conversation.
/r/WhereAreAllTheGoodMen27/06/20 02:51 AM
4

If the western girl seems red pilled, then you are arranging your own marriage tbh, which seems safe to me. I think the important thing to remember about arranged marriages being successful is that it involves matching people up on their comparability and the merits of the match, not on ambiguous tingly feelings which tend to make you look at your relationship less rationally (and tingly feelings go away). If you two are doing that yourselves, then it seems like you get the best of both worlds. …
/r/WhereAreAllTheGoodMen24/06/20 05:52 PM
9

Well, you pretty much nailed what I had to say. I might just rephrase it slightly: she's using his apparent disinterest in her as an indicator for his reproductive value relative to hers. If he isn't going for her, he must be going for someone better right?? Like you say, if he DID express interest in her overtly her equation would be recalculated and any and all interest she had in him beyond friendship would disintegrate. As an added bonus she'd write a new post expressing how bewildered she i…
/r/WhereAreAllTheGoodMen19/06/20 11:21 AM
2

Holy moly. Let's say this magnificent specimen of a human being she demands actually encounters her on this dating app: if his list of demands is even 1/4th as strict as hers, she doesn't have a chance. Also a funny thing I noticed: her demands involved absolutely nothing about character and personality. It was entirely resource oriented or of the shallowest physical nature (Don't just be above average in height, be way above!)
/r/WhereAreAllTheGoodMen18/06/20 09:22 PM
9

True for some, but let's be real: some guys are capable of being dirtbags. I'd say that men and women are abysmal human beings at roughly the same rate. The difference is that women are viewed socially as the perfect victim and men as the natural offender, with the perception rarely being reversed.
/r/WhereAreAllTheGoodMen16/06/20 11:25 AM
3

Yeah, I agree, all kinds of bad things start happening when a large chunk of the male population has no perceived chance at reproductive success. Prostitution I think has always been a pressure release valve for these men. Now a days, with fewer and fewer women willing to "settle" for men under the 50th percentile, ethical and well regulated prostitution would seem like a decent bandaid to for all the sexually frustrated men piling up.
/r/WhereAreAllTheGoodMen09/06/20 08:36 PM
30

Agree with everything except "sex is not real work" notion. I suppose if you are a crappy sex worker that sucks at his/her job, that's true, but there were high end prostitutes throughout history that were masters of their craft and highly sought after because they were either "masters of illusion" and could pump up a man's ego and make them feel valuable or they were intellectuals that could tittilate your loins and then your mind. Some were so good they rose to the height of empress. Beyond wh…
/r/WhereAreAllTheGoodMen07/06/20 12:15 PM
7

Yep, I agree. I'm generally fine with people living the way they want. But for Christ sake, accept and recognize the consequences of the choices you make. Don't choose a road infested with bandits and then bitterly complain that no one will swoop in and rescue you when you get robbed.
/r/WhereAreAllTheGoodMen06/06/20 12:21 PM
6

I mean, it's in the Bible, but it's pretty much everywhere else, too, from Hinduism to Buddhism. Two people pooling their efforts and resources toward a single end is more effective than 1.
/r/WhereAreAllTheGoodMen05/06/20 08:31 PM
11

Which is the exact opposite of what marriage should be, if you want it to succeed. Marriage should be a partnership toward a mutual goal (usually raising a family). Love is a nice bonus, but if That's your main focus for marriage, prepare for an imminent divorce once the "butterflies" flutter away. I think it's no coincidence that arranged marriages result in fewer divorces, because if you are building a marriage based on how one partner complements the other, than you are more likely to achieve…
/r/WhereAreAllTheGoodMen05/06/20 07:12 PM
41

"I want the butterflies and goosebumps I used to get." It may not seem obvious at first, but this should be the biggest red flag to anyone looking for long term material. It also explains why she's still single. Goosebumps and butterflies always go away in every single relationship, even in great, satisfying, sex filled marriages (like mine). When I see women say this, what it says to me is "I will eventually pitch you to the curb once the goosebumps go away, and presume it is your fault." I had…
/r/WhereAreAllTheGoodMen05/06/20 06:29 PM
21

Didn't you hear? Being born again absolves you of consequences from all the bad decisions you made.
/r/WhereAreAllTheGoodMen03/06/20 08:43 PM
8

I think I agree but wouldn't focus so much on specific virtues necessarily. I would just recommend to women having issues finding a good marriage partner: try to be good marriage material to SOMEONE. Maybe some men Don't care about how many men you've had sex with, but just want someone who has a calm, temperate, and nurturing personality who will make home life calm and placid and will give her husband the room to enjoy his hobbies. Maybe the guy doesn't have unrealistically high appearance sta…
/r/WhereAreAllTheGoodMen25/05/20 08:14 PM
43

Right, he's basically saying to men "Set aside your personal happiness and do your civic duty." But who is he--- or anyone else---- to tell a man OR woman to forfeit living their life how they want to? When women "can't find good men" do we tell them to "get over it and find happiness alone"? Nope.
/r/WhereAreAllTheGoodMen25/05/20 07:56 PM
12

What's tragic is that it never dawned on her that perhaps the solution here was to lift him up the way he lifted up her. She probably would have gotten better results too, because this man is clearly made of very good matrerial. Like, it's not necessarily horrible to be status conscious and to try to do more with your life, the problem is being horrible in the pursuit of that better life. My own wife at one point was doing better financially than I was. What was her impulse? It wasn't to kick me…
/r/WhereAreAllTheGoodMen25/05/20 02:15 PM
18

Yep, especially as men get into their 20's, they mellow out, and they often just want a like minded partner in life that won't rock the boat and will be considerate of their physical and emotional needs.
/r/WhereAreAllTheGoodMen16/05/20 11:36 AM
48

Honestly, I'd say too many women are trying to be what they THINK men are, but aren't really. In my company there are a lot of women managers who are the ruthless, aggressive, crush-your-hand-during-a-handshake-and-boink-their-underlings types. They'll tell you "it's a man's world, and if we want to get a piece of it, we have to play their game, and try twice as hard!" Meanwhile, all of the male managers are these nice, temperate, placid men who are nurturing, encouraging, and accommodating.
/r/WhereAreAllTheGoodMen16/05/20 11:34 AM
4

Yeah, I think this is key. The part about the fat acceptance movement that I'm fine with is the notion that you can change your perspective in order to find happiness... but if that means willfully engaging in self-destructive behavior, That's a problem.
/r/WhereAreAllTheGoodMen15/05/20 11:46 AM
25

Unfortunately, even if a man is average height, they get instantly filtered out by not only 90 percent of the women who are taller than them, but also the majority of women who are shorter than them. Glad I'm not in the dating scene.
/r/WhereAreAllTheGoodMen14/05/20 05:52 PM
8

Ugh, so painful to read. She gave far more to the people who tossed her away like garbage than to the man who gave her the rest of his life. That's what was so painful for him, and what made him feel so low. It would be like being a soldier who fought for his country for years, lost an arm and leg in the process, and then watched as his nation poured medals of honor on politicians who'd never served a day in their life.
/r/WhereAreAllTheGoodMen12/05/20 07:08 PM
19

The tragic thing is that this guy is probably above average in the looks department, yet this woman is judging him against what she could get during short term daliances.
/r/WhereAreAllTheGoodMen12/05/20 04:55 PM
23

Lol, this is so, so true. I see this all the time. As soon as a woman expresses the tiniest of problems with her boyfriend/husband it's "Huge red flag/he's abusive/get out while you still can!" It's amazing how many people are willing to recommend torpedoing a 10 year relationship on almost 0 information.
/r/WhereAreAllTheGoodMen12/05/20 04:52 PM
28

Yeah, and some guys are fine with being sugar daddies. The arrangement is sorta like "I want female company That's more than a prostitute but without the time spent maintaining a girlfriend." As far as I can tell, this girl isn't really demanding a double standard from the man ("I expect you to be a 10 while I'm a 4"), so as long as we have two consenting adults who know what they are giving and know what they are getting, have at it.
/r/WhereAreAllTheGoodMen09/05/20 12:41 PM
5

This. I was raised in a non-religious household, but people always thought we were religious because of our straight laced, church lady lifestyle. Meanwhile my neighbor--- who was neck deep in religion and moralizing--- ended up in jail for banging this under age parishioners. Religion helps a lot of people live disciplined, moral lives if they don't already have strong character. But needing religion to be good is a little like needing to be threatened to do something you should already be doin…
/r/WhereAreAllTheGoodMen09/05/20 11:48 AM
2

Interestingly, the person who started the INCEL community to begin was a woman.
/r/WhereAreAllTheGoodMen04/05/20 09:01 PM
6

I mean, sorta kinda. Men need to worry a lot less than women, but in statistical terms a man's fertility is influenced by age. Of course, the world of fertility treatment is way, way, way more complicated for a woman with fertility problems than a man, so when a man does have age related gamete issues, its way easier (and more economical) to resolve. Getting a donor egg is outlandishly hard compared to getting donor sperm.
/r/WhereAreAllTheGoodMen02/05/20 03:48 PM
13

I think this hits the nail on the head. My concern is that a lot of women look for excuses to put off having kids because they want to have their cake and eat it too: party early on and blow off responsibility, but then turn around after they've had their fun and be paragons of maternal responsibility. Some will get away with it, but it turns out that all of the supposed safeguards of putting off parenthood--- egg freezing, IVF, adoption, fostering--- are not fool proof at all, and in fact are q…
/r/WhereAreAllTheGoodMen02/05/20 03:45 PM
5

Open adoptions. Because there are so few babies to adopt in the U.S., it's a "sellers market." So if you are putting your child up for adoption, you are in a position to make a lot of demands (I want to see my baby every weekend, I way financial support, etc). Of course, the problem here is that the very reasons that caused the mother to give up the baby for adoption to begin with end up just following the baby into the new family. It's not necessarily a problem to adopt the baby of a drug addle…
/r/WhereAreAllTheGoodMen02/05/20 01:42 PM
3

Adoption and fostering is extremely difficult, sometimes impossible in today's day and age. We attempted to go that route as well (wife and I), and failed. It's not like in movies where you can just go out and grab some poor abandoned kid from your local Catholic convent. There's a reason most people try for foreign adoption. In the U.S., if you want to adopt a child that doesn't have severe issues, you basically also need to adopt the birth parents too, who themselves have severe problems. Chil…
/r/WhereAreAllTheGoodMen02/05/20 01:01 PM
9

If you sincerely stick to that desire, then great, people can live the lives they want. But as someone who ran an infertility support group, I can tell you that it's EXTREMELY common for women to insist that they don't want kids, then in their late 30's early 40's suddenly awaken one morning with a very acute desire to have children. Of course, by that point, its often extremely complicated and these women carry with them considerable regret. I wouldn't recommend anyone to "have kids or you'll r…
/r/WhereAreAllTheGoodMen02/05/20 12:42 PM
2

Right, this. It seems absurd to me that--- if you are having 1 kid--- you would choose to arbitrarily give them a genetic disease as opposed to not giving them a genetic disease. I mean, the fact that we choose who to breed with to begin with it way, way, way more eugenics (We're intentionally selecting an entire genome) than selecting out 1 bad trait.
/r/WhereAreAllTheGoodMen01/05/20 11:49 AM
3

In pretty much every clinic now, eggs are evaluated for their condition after aspiration, as well as the quality of the embryos post fertilization. The reason you collect so many eggs is so you can choose the ones that are in good condition (though sometimes desperate women with few eggs will implant a C grade fertilized egg).
/r/WhereAreAllTheGoodMen01/05/20 11:45 AM
27

I think the intent was originally to point out men who insist that they are "nice guys" but then turn around and do things that are very obviously not "nice" (Like heaping verbal abuse on women when rejected). Like, alright, on those grounds that seems fine. What makes me very uncomfortable with the sub is that it frequently veers into territory where people start ridiculing guys who are just opening up about their feelings of fear, rejection, and sadness. Guys who say things like: "I don't unde…
/r/WhereAreAllTheGoodMen30/04/20 05:22 PM
8

That's what's so remarkable to me. Demanding a high standard quality of someone while conspicuously demonstrating--- during your very demand--- that you don't have the attribute yourself. Reminds me of a fat neckbeard who insists he's too good for the average looking girl.
/r/WhereAreAllTheGoodMen29/04/20 06:28 PM
2

Yes, my mind is made up because every single post modern or genders study academic I've ever encountered has behaved the same exact way and been comfortable with pop-recreational contempt for (particularly white) men. But of course they have 0 self awareness and would never admit it even immediately after making such a comment. I can't stand the demagoguery, and I see them no differently than right wing, racist radicals. If you can't see how the movement is utterly dripping with this toxicity, i…
/r/WhereAreAllTheGoodMen18/04/20 03:14 AM
4

Well, this is a legitamish point, though I add the -ish because the academic wings of feminism exist in the vast, nonsensical melliu of post modernism, which by itself intentionally avoids explaining itself and instead exists in a slurry of ambiguous, meaningless, intellectualish-sounding jargon. The fact that you tossed out half a dozen (of the many multitudes) of "feminisms" is proof of that (you forgot eco-feminism, by the way!) And I mean, what you've illustrated is the problem. I took gende…
/r/WhereAreAllTheGoodMen17/04/20 09:22 PM
9

Well, no, I think she's correct here because if you listen to what feminists actually SAY that they are (we believe in respect and equality for both men and women) it's the opposite of their actual practice (men are awful, women are feeble victims in need of constant protection and infantalization, etc). It's like a Christian saying they are Christians who believe in the sanctity of marriage, but then run around porking people who aren't their spouses.
/r/WhereAreAllTheGoodMen16/04/20 01:39 PM
17

That's what's so crazy about her demands and her values: they are completely at odds with her life style. So for example, I think its prefectly respectable that she wants to expand black wealth through nurturing a culture of black enterprises... But then to turn around and say "oh, and I wanna be a housewife"?
/r/WhereAreAllTheGoodMen14/04/20 10:28 PM
2

Holy crap, this woman really is a genuine, goddess. How many women have the awesome cosmic power to give birth to an entire sun.
/r/WhereAreAllTheGoodMen14/04/20 10:24 PM
8

Sort makes sense, given her wants in a man. She believes she deserves a CEO because they've been paying her for sex for 2 decades, now.
/r/WhereAreAllTheGoodMen09/04/20 11:34 AM
5

Even if that's true (which, well, we can't know for sure either way) it's still a step up from a woman making terrible choices and then blaming her spouse for being upset when he discovers those previously undisclosed terrible choices. So like, imagine you were buying a car from a private seller, and after purchase you discover it has significant defects that the seller intentionally concealed. I'd be way more pissed off if the seller blames me for it and tells me to "man up and get over it" as …
/r/WhereAreAllTheGoodMen08/04/20 05:12 PM
9

This is painful to read in a million ways. Its hard to be contemptuous of a woman who wants to turn over a new leaf in life and get things right, and it's good that she's not behaving the way a lot of women displayed on this sub behave ("I did all these things, and I'd do them again, my husband needs to get over it!") She admits she made mistakes in life and wishes she could take them back. The fundamental problem here is her dishonesty. She and her parents sold her as a paragon of virginal virt…
/r/WhereAreAllTheGoodMen08/04/20 11:54 AM
9

Well, that's true in spirit, but if you want to look at the statistics objectively, some people in this sub might be disappointed. First off, for women, it's just around 3 percentage points less likely to get divorced than women with 2-3 sex partners, so not a huge difference (and it makes me wonder about the honesty of survey respondents...) The trend becomes a lot more noticeable around 10+ sexual partners. What's unexpected is that it's MEN who have only had 1 sex partner who are way, way mor…
/r/WhereAreAllTheGoodMen05/04/20 12:02 PM
72

You also run the risk of your "kiss-less virgin" waking up at 33, regretting that she "never found herself," and then going off to pork the local bar flies. You know. To find herself.
/r/WhereAreAllTheGoodMen04/04/20 08:28 PM
2

Ah yes, this reminds me of the greatest singular advantage that women have over men. Are you unexceptional and feel like your life needs some kind of purpose? Pop out a kid, and you'll get an instant, ambiguous, but powerful sense that you have value in the world. In this case, it seems like this girl is riding high on this very sense of purpose and value, and thus felt compelled to make a profile on a dating ap. "My baby thinks I'm the most important thing in the Universe, so why won't men will…
/r/WhereAreAllTheGoodMen02/04/20 02:07 PM
5

Maybe not "deserves," but I think he's talking about "fair market value." Not sure why he got downvoted so much.
/r/WhereAreAllTheGoodMen26/03/20 08:23 PM
2

I think the missing ingredient for why so many of these women end up in this situation (and which usually can't be demonstrated easily in an internet post but is very obvious up front a d personal) is that they simply have intolerable, miserable personalities with 0 self control of their emotions. Like, if she can't even get guys to stay the night, they aren't going to know her well enough to know how many men she's had sex with, so she's gotta have a disposition and attitude so pungent you can …
/r/WhereAreAllTheGoodMen26/03/20 08:14 PM
2

Don't forget the most important part of the fantasy: she will turn him around, and somehow he'll still retain all of those attractive bad boy qualities with none of the negative consequences.
/r/WhereAreAllTheGoodMen24/03/20 04:46 AM
0

I feel like there's something deep in the male instinct across most social animals that speaks to what you describe: if the reproductive game is too stacked against you, something deep inside tells you "fuck it, why bother?" You'll never hear about solitary she wolves or solitary she lions. It's always the solitary male who has abdicated the chase for mates. And who's to say that their lives aren't meaningful? I think the MGTOW movement is really just an organic growth from this deep seeded inst…
/r/WhereAreAllTheGoodMen21/03/20 07:17 PM
7

Sure, women tend to have specific preferences (resources) and men tend to have specific preferences (youth, fertility value), and you have a whole continuum of both sexes who will more openly and nakedly chase after their base instinctual desires. But I think the real power of red pill communities is to make us all aware of the bad behavior so we can encourage good behavior. So like when it comes to the whole "women wanting resources" presumption, that can actually manifest in positive ways. For…
/r/WhereAreAllTheGoodMen21/03/20 07:05 PM
5

Like, I come by this sub sometimes because it boldly states an obvious yet ignored truth about certain (common) kinds of women. But when someone starts lumping girlfriends and wives in with loose women and prostitutes, like, That's just indulging in the same kind of "denial of reality" that this sub calls out to begin with.
/r/WhereAreAllTheGoodMen21/03/20 06:18 PM
4

Yes, original comment was just hyperbolic.
/r/WhereAreAllTheGoodMen21/03/20 06:14 PM
8

Makes sense. A woman that prefers a provider over a stag is already disposed to the attributes of a provider over a stag. Stands to reason that their conventional reproductive strategy would apply to a sperm donor, too.
/r/WhereAreAllTheGoodMen15/03/20 11:28 PM
2

Needs more upvotes. It's funny to imagine how outraged she'd be by you having exactly the same demands as she has.
/r/WhereAreAllTheGoodMen22/02/20 11:21 AM
4

Not sure why this got downvoted. Yeah, obesity comes with health issues, but you can have some curves without being obese. Let the guy like what he wants.
/r/WhereAreAllTheGoodMen22/02/20 11:05 AM
7

Spot on about the need to feel unique. It's the same impetus with piercings and dyed hair. There is nothing interesting about them so they do something that'll make everyone notice them. Isn't it funny how they demand someone who is "interesting and fun" when they themselves have to maim their own bodies just to feel alive and noticed?
/r/WhereAreAllTheGoodMen22/02/20 11:02 AM
4

Sounds like a reputable source!... Oh wait, we can't even see the source. Well, I guess that's the point of hysterical propaganda: actual empirical reality is the obstacle to overcome, not the objective. I mean, Let's break the headline down shall we?? Planned (as in hasn't even been written yet) legislative proposals (proposals, as in not even voted on yet) may lead to (as in someone is extrapolating on a proposal which doesn't even exist) migration critics (who might also be a lot of other bad…
/r/WhereAreAllTheGoodMen17/02/20 11:14 AM
3

This was my thought, and some people will be more disposed to that sentiment than others. It sounds like people that use the word just want to have a word to describe themselves so they can feel special.
/r/WhereAreAllTheGoodMen13/02/20 02:56 PM
7

Yep, props for some self awareness. Not a good age to finally understand. Not only are her beat years to land a permanent relationship gone but she's been rewarding bad behavior for 15 years
/r/WhereAreAllTheGoodMen13/02/20 02:50 PM
26

"All the good men are already married." That was revealing. And it was especially revealing of her self awareness level because she behaves as though it's some strange coincidence. The "good men" that are married now were all the men she found beneath her when she was younger.
/r/WhereAreAllTheGoodMen12/02/20 10:22 AM
0

Of course people can change, but not everyone will, in fact, most won't. I recognize and respect statistical patterns (which is why you could say I'm "red pilled") but I also recognize that not everyone sticks directly to a trend line.
/r/WhereAreAllTheGoodMen04/02/20 10:54 AM
42

What's astonishing to me is how it's not immediately evident to her that this is basically the moral equivalent to being married to a woman while still secretly dating 3 women a week and maintaining another wife and family on the side. "Gee wiz, I don't think my wife could handle it if I told her, I guess it's better to keep it secret, eh?" Yeah, maybe NOT engaging in the thing that'll ruin your relationships to begin with might be the better route to take.
/r/WhereAreAllTheGoodMen02/02/20 08:48 PM
12

Only redeeming thing is at the end, where she wants to change. It's such a frustrating read though. She's set herself up for failure, because she's consistently demanded a level of attraction from prospective mates that she herself cannot meet. And If she wants a long term partner in life, why is it even necessary someone to be attractive enough for you to "spiral helplessly in love" with them? The tingles will go away in just a few months anyway. Choose someone you admire and who is just plain …
/r/WhereAreAllTheGoodMen02/02/20 12:44 PM
7

It's so bizarre, but the stereotype is so true. Women that dye their hair crazy colors always seem to have the same characteristics. Aggressively opinionated, mean, take pride in the two former points, and most of all, usually have something missing inside (which is why they are constantly changing their appearance to fill the boredom or hole in their heart). And the thing is, I'm not trying to hold women to a different standard, I'd find this toxic brew of characteristics in a man just as noxio…
/r/WhereAreAllTheGoodMen02/02/20 12:23 PM
3

I like to call it "success objects."
/r/WhereAreAllTheGoodMen27/01/20 01:54 PM
10

I'd say some guys want an instant family, yes, but probably because they couldn't find a woman on the first go around who would want to start a family with them. And, well, it fits cleanly into the narrative that floats around in this sub: too many women want to make a baby with Chad and turn to beta bucks for the bills. And frankly, I feel sorry for these guys. I think its easy to forget that a lot of men (probably most?) have nurturing attributes, and that living one's whole life without ever …
/r/WhereAreAllTheGoodMen19/01/20 06:58 PM
2

Right, the "traditional mindset" is what I was trying to extract from the comment in question. A traditionalist would say "everyone should get married and have kids, and if you don't, you are bad." Maybe it's just the libertarian in me, but I'd prefer to live in a society where people can decide for themselves what is right for their own lives, just so long as it doesn't have direct and unambiguous negative consequences on other people (I screwed up my kid's life, I take from society and give li…
/r/WhereAreAllTheGoodMen17/01/20 11:42 AM
6

Why is it undesirable then for a woman to not want to have a child? Like, my beef is with women that plunge into motherhood with no plan and make themselves a burden on society and give their kids shoddy odds at succeeding in life. Unless I misunderstood him and he's saying "I find single mothers and women who don't like kids unattractive." If that's the case, then I retract my comment.
/r/WhereAreAllTheGoodMen16/01/20 10:57 PM
24

It sounds like you are implying that women should all be mothers. Honestly, it's as coercive as saying a man should "man up and be a father" even if he doesn't want to. I mean, I look at the OP and I roll my eyes at this woman because she obviously had little foresight and little self awareness about what she knows in life. But if it turned out that she never regretted not having kids? I don't care, that's her own business.
/r/WhereAreAllTheGoodMen16/01/20 05:01 PM
5

"My hobby is shopping." Most under rated red flag ever. Translation: "I will work hard to make sure we never have any savings."
/r/WhereAreAllTheGoodMen16/01/20 01:11 AM
17

Definitely true, but I'd say access to STEM programs and mentors is more of a concentrated poverty thing, and white kids out in Apalachia are going to face that too. I'd say there are other uniquely black issues when it comes to getting into tech, too, some related to good old fashioned prejudice, some related to attitudes that are common in the community. Most recruiters will see a black face on LinkedIn and unconsciously consider that a strike against a prospect. Also, with a dispraportionatel…
/r/WhereAreAllTheGoodMen12/01/20 01:42 PM
47

She wants a good earning "black king" but shuns the black man who has the foresight to choose a profession that will bag him a good income. So basically, she wants a high earning black man who is in a sufficiently "masculine" profession. Presumably sports. So that makes her one of 10 million black women with all the same preferences chasing after a few hundred sufficiently masculine high earners. And of course, the likelihood of cheating covaries strongly with intelligence among men, and let's b…
/r/WhereAreAllTheGoodMen12/01/20 01:18 PM
9

Good grief, she blows up the relationship her ex-husband had with her and then comes back and attempts to blow up his next relationship, too. If she'd really learned her lesson, she would have told herself: "He looks happy now, and he was so good to me before that I've decided he deserves happiness, even if it isn't with me." But she doesn't, she instead does the selfish thing (again). But its too late. The ex won't respond to her proclamations of love because he's probably at the point where hi…
/r/WhereAreAllTheGoodMen31/12/19 01:05 PM
11

True, and that's what's so annoying about people that call other people "race traitors." Want to breed blonde little Aryan babies? Go ahead, all power to you, you do you, it's a free country. Now GTF out of other people's lives.
/r/WhereAreAllTheGoodMen31/12/19 03:00 AM
9

Because I imagine there is some degree of personalization and communication? "This isn't any old porn star, this is MY pornstar." You'd think an image is an image but if they are commenting back to you or some such thing I imagine there's a kind of intangible appeal to some people that an innert image doesn't have.
/r/WhereAreAllTheGoodMen24/12/19 10:31 PM
21

Point 1 reminds me of Margaret Atwood's 6 word story: "Swooned for him. Got him. Shit."
/r/WhereAreAllTheGoodMen24/12/19 12:15 AM
22

Like a lot of people are saying here, not outrageous things to want, but when you expect so much of a man, what can he expect from HER aside from a baby incubator? My suspicion is she'll do what most women do: expect impecable behavior from "her man" while heaping hormonally induced abuse on him and putting absolutely 0 standards of behavior on herself.
/r/WhereAreAllTheGoodMen21/12/19 11:34 AM
3

Yeah, seems solid, but of course how reasonable it is depends on what she's bringing to the table herself. She basically wants a baseline solid guy with 0 flaws. Is she a solid baseline woman with 0 flaws? Maybe, who knows? It's still way more reasonable than what most women demand on this sub, and of course she's also come to her senses at a young age which means she's bringing more to the table. The only thing that stands out to me is the LENGTH of the list. Her demands got me wondering: what …
/r/WhereAreAllTheGoodMen20/12/19 02:46 AM
8

People can get better with time, but only if they have the quality of being able to recognize when they've got it so good. Your wife? Man, everything in her life is taken care of AND has the time to go in whatever direction she wants for creative fulfillment? Man. Talk about the perfect life.
/r/WhereAreAllTheGoodMen29/11/19 06:44 PM
2

Score! I'm on a pejorative streak.
/r/WhereAreAllTheGoodMen26/11/19 12:09 AM
5

See? You put some effort into your dis. Good for you. Pretty cool though how I got called "woke" and "racist" within the same 15 minutes. I'm on a roll today.
/r/WhereAreAllTheGoodMen25/11/19 11:00 PM
11

Well, and it kind of telegraphs to the world that the person using it is boring and unimaginative. I just wanna reply: "Oh, wow, look how dangerous and transgressive you are." It reminds me of a teenager with not much in his brain who is trying to shock his parents in a spasm of rebeliousness. Or when a white girl dates a black boy not for any of his qualities, but for no reason other than to outrage her parents.
/r/WhereAreAllTheGoodMen24/11/19 03:23 PM
30

Seriously, go out to a lot of the poor, white, rural places in my neck of the woods, and you'll see the exact same phenomenon at work.
/r/WhereAreAllTheGoodMen24/11/19 12:20 AM
2

The corner of the internet I am talking about is the one that thinks measuring people's skulls and phrenology is a medically modern way to estimate someone's intelligence. So I presume in your opinion that the causal agent of "lower intelligence" in hybridization is that you think inferior races are sharing their inferior genes, then? Nevermind that someone can cite many other counter examples to the "lower intelligence" hybridization notion (like higher than average IQ among Anglo-Indians than …
/r/WhereAreAllTheGoodMen23/11/19 08:58 PM
11

I mean, both men and women want to try to bag a mate That's above their own value, the difference today is that there is mountains of social pressure on men to "settle down, man up, and support a family" and the exact opposite pressure for women: "the grass is always greener on the other side, every girl deserves a prince, never settle for less than what you want." This becomes especially obvious when you are raising children, and you see these values pushed in every single Disney movie, where t…
/r/WhereAreAllTheGoodMen23/11/19 12:05 PM
2

I think there are a lot of men on this sub who have an "AWALT" mentality, but most don't. The women in my life (like my wife and sister) have good judgement and rational mentality, but I look around me at the world at large and I see a world filled with women who make terrible choices, refuse to come to terms with the fact that they are severely flawed due to those terrible choices, but sincerely believe that they deserve a high quality man who himself doesn't make terrible choices. A high perce…
/r/WhereAreAllTheGoodMen23/11/19 11:48 AM
3

Lol, that is kinda funny.
/r/WhereAreAllTheGoodMen22/11/19 12:50 PM
16

Maybe its just me, but when I hear someone go out of their way to identify as "bisexual," what I'm really hearing is them say "I'm promiscuous." Like, if I were attracted to both sexes but wanted a monotonous relationship, I'd be functionally either gay or hetero, so why is it necessary to identify as bi? Edit: Monogomous, not monotonous, lol.
/r/WhereAreAllTheGoodMen22/11/19 10:57 AM
2

I'm in IT and worked with a lot of programmers, and there is definitely a higher percentage of socially awkward types above the median. Not so much among themselves at work, but out in the world for sure. And yeah, you see a difference between the kind of guys who are managing teams, launching startups with VC, etc vs guys that are working as county DBAs whatever.
/r/WhereAreAllTheGoodMen20/11/19 11:05 AM
30

I mean, if they both "lived up to their end of the agreement" I suppose it's not a problem. Socially awkward, skinny IT guy with Google money offers resources in exchange for (presumably) attractive but certified pre-owned woman who offers the remaining years of her reproductive life. The question is whether they both are willing to settle and "know their value" in the mate market. I'd say there's a high probability though that the very impulse that turned this woman into a single mom to begin w…
/r/WhereAreAllTheGoodMen19/11/19 08:16 PM
4

Lol, I know what corner of the internet you've crawled out from, so I'm not going to dignify your "low IQ" answer with a response.
/r/WhereAreAllTheGoodMen17/11/19 11:05 AM
2

Unless you want natural defenses against recessive autosomal diseases.
/r/WhereAreAllTheGoodMen16/11/19 03:53 PM
5

Yeah, I had the same experience too, except my wife was the dark one and our kid came out very fair and looking nothing like her. The funny thing is this daughter was an IVF baby so it was actually possible that her eggs were somehow mixed up, but like you said, it took a good year I'd say for her to darken up a bit.
/r/WhereAreAllTheGoodMen16/11/19 11:42 AM
6

Lol, ha ha. The funny thing is that the same thing happened with my wife. My wife is very dark, and our first kid was an IVF baby that came out extremely fair (and in general looked nothing like her), so she was paranoid that my sperm were used but her eggs were switched out with someone else's. It was hilarious because I realized that she's one of the few females in the history of life on Earth that was able to experience the kind of doubt that every man has to live with.
/r/WhereAreAllTheGoodMen16/11/19 11:40 AM
40

Lol, it's obviously an adoption, even 100 percent black babies come out relatively fair, so There's no way this baby is mixed. Funny story: I spent a few months day in and day out in the hospital near receiving, and on more than one occasion there were super pissed black fathers who saw their babies and thought their girlfriends/wives had had an affair with a white man. The hospital staff had to explain to them that babies always come out looming more fair in those early months.
/r/WhereAreAllTheGoodMen16/11/19 12:31 AM
9

Okay, thanks for clarifying. I think we can go around in circles on the subject of what is fair and what isn't fair (and we'd actually probably mostly agree anyway and get stuck on small details,) but I think a severely neglected subject is the practical consequences of what happens when we don't try to give children some baseline of opportunity, regardless of the quality of their parents. So yeah, right now we spend money on public assistance. What are the consequences of completely nixxing pub…
/r/WhereAreAllTheGoodMen15/11/19 01:32 PM
19

I'll be pragmatic and say that the kid is definitely not going to better off with fewer resources and suffering. We've got generations of data on concentrated poverty that paints a clear picture. But I'm also going to say that mitigating the consequences of a parent's bad decisions is not a good idea either, as it produces perverse incentives for society. There aren't always easy answers to everything, and I'm not comfortable saying "Fuck the kids because their parent's made bad decisions." You …
/r/WhereAreAllTheGoodMen15/11/19 12:51 PM
2

I have to admit, it is an interesting idea.
/r/WhereAreAllTheGoodMen15/11/19 10:53 AM
3

Right, this. The problem isn't that women have standards, it's that 80 percent of women think they deserve the top 20 percent.
/r/WhereAreAllTheGoodMen15/11/19 10:43 AM
2

I'd say find a girl but don't initially flaunt your money, so if she's interested in you, she'll not just be gunning for your wallet. Just keep in mind that it's not unreasonable for women to have some standards, it's just unreasonable that so many women have excessively high standards. If a woman brings as much as you to the table and is attracted to the fact that you are intelligent enough and diligent enough to be supporting yourself well, I certainly wouldn't hold that against her anymore th…
/r/WhereAreAllTheGoodMen15/11/19 10:41 AM
5

Huh, that is a solid observation about single dads and single moms. Single dad's are usually WAY more likely to have high earning careers, and single moms are usually WAY more likely to be waitresses and the like, though I've known a few single moms that applied themselves are middle classish (nurses, etc). But yeah, I think it's one of those "under the right conditions" kind of situations when it comes to a single mother and single father getting together. For me personally, if I were raising m…
/r/WhereAreAllTheGoodMen15/11/19 02:26 AM
2

Lol, well I'm not convinced that tall is actually better in a modern society beyond dated instinctual preferences. But if there is any reason at all, I guess it's legit to want your kid to be tall because there are irrational negative prejudices related to being short. I guess if people were just irrationally prejudiced toward people with thicker eyebrows, it would be rational to choose a sperm donor with thinner eyebrows, but it's all kind of frivolous and stupid to me. Kind of like how so many…
/r/WhereAreAllTheGoodMen15/11/19 02:19 AM
7

Lol, this guy gets it I think.
/r/WhereAreAllTheGoodMen14/11/19 09:58 PM
16

It's extremely common in IVF statistics. The only thing more common is how many women use donor sperm from men over 6 feet tall. What's fascinating about the sperm donors women choose is that it's the truest way to witness the prejudices of women in the mating game. If you are under 5'10, sperm banks will turn you away at the door if you want to be a donor, even if you are an Einstein level genius. No demand for sperm from anyone shorter.
/r/WhereAreAllTheGoodMen14/11/19 09:56 PM
11

I definitely believe it's an IVF baby. Check the age. IVF is the tool of last resort for women with age related diminished ovarian reserves. I know a lot of women who put off having kids until they "found their prince," never did find him, and so by the time they decide to do it on their own they discover they can't conceive naturally because they waited far, far too long. And so in a tear of desperation and depression brought on by their lack of foresight, they loot all of their savings that th…
/r/WhereAreAllTheGoodMen14/11/19 09:52 PM
22

It's still a better deal for a single father to shack up with a single mother than, say, a man without kids shacking up with a single mother. I don't know if you have raised any kids or not, but raising a kid on your own is extremely difficult, and it makes you suck way more at pretty much everything else you do in your life. If a single father and a single mother each have one kid of their own, it's going to be way easier raising 2 kids between them than it would raising a single kid each on th…
/r/WhereAreAllTheGoodMen14/11/19 09:46 PM
5

It sure did, and more. I feel like this analysis should be, like, published somewhere for posterity. It really lays out the incentive structure well, and what's really tragic about that incentive structure to me is that it seems to strongly incentivize perverse outcomes. I've heard black men get blamed for all kinds of things when it comes to relationships and family, but there was one thing that stuck out like a sore thumb to me that no one else seemed to ever make a point of: black women rewar…
/r/WhereAreAllTheGoodMen14/11/19 02:10 PM
3

So what did you do beyond the romance game? Keep to yourself? Hang out with white kids? And if you did, was that uncomfortable? I kind of wonder these things because one of my best friends growing up was this soft spoken, skinny, bookish black kid that had a lot going for him, but one day abruptly cranked his thug game up to 10. I never really understood why (I seem to remember a girl was involved), because it was absolutely just not him at all. And it ended up having really negative consequence…
/r/WhereAreAllTheGoodMen14/11/19 11:22 AM
6

That's very interesting, thank you for taking the time to reply. It's also pretty damn depressing. It really makes me think that the average person underestimates what the average black man has to deal with. Yeah, they've got to deal with the traditional prejudice "on the outside" (is that guy who doesn't look like me up to no good?), but then you've got to deal with the "expectations on the inside" as well (why is that guy who is my race NOT behaving like all of the other people who look like u…
/r/WhereAreAllTheGoodMen14/11/19 11:12 AM
10

How broad is that kind of pressure? I feel like most black men are put in a very difficult position in the dating game, where they are frequently expected to live up to a hyper masculine archetype, but will simultaneously be considered "low class and thuggish" when they do. Seems like an almost impossible tight rope to walk.
/r/WhereAreAllTheGoodMen13/11/19 11:04 PM
13

What gets me is that these women feel compelled to "find a man" while pregnant. Do you mean to tell me you can't wait a few months, bond with your child, etc?
/r/WhereAreAllTheGoodMen12/11/19 07:26 PM
1

Yeah, I agree, it kind of depends on what each individual happened to value.
/r/WhereAreAllTheGoodMen07/11/19 11:29 PM
4

Depends on where and when. Hunter gatherers have always been pretty egalitarian, but in most settled societies men were generally formally put in charge of the household (I mean, look at what the Bible has to say about it). Does that mean men were better off than women? That's really hard to know. I sure wouldn't want to be conscripted and sent off to die of diseases in a siege camp, but then again it would kinda suck to die in childbirth.
/r/WhereAreAllTheGoodMen07/11/19 09:34 PM
6

Fulfilling sex life here. I just visit this sub to know what to tell my daughters NOT to be.
/r/WhereAreAllTheGoodMen06/11/19 10:37 PM
5

Great analysis. My uncle (dad's side) and aunt (mom's side) got together and were two people with high counts like you describe, and you illustrated the outcome perfectly.
/r/WhereAreAllTheGoodMen05/11/19 05:37 PM
16

Funny that you mentioned drugs, because this was the exact same thing I thought, too. I've had a number of friends who made excuses for getting into some pretty hard drugs, and that excuse was generally the same as what this women was saying: "I was exploring, I was discovering myself." No, sorry, you were not, you were chasing cheap highs and mortgaging your future self respect.
/r/WhereAreAllTheGoodMen05/11/19 05:29 PM
31

What I find interesting is that so much attention is put on "older men dating younger women, thus leaving a glut of older, single women." And yet the fact that this phenomenon exists implies that there must also be a glut of younger men in their late teens and early 20's, because the women actively pursuing older men are ignoring the younger men. I found it incredibly ironic that one of the women in this article expressed that when she was in her prime age 20's, she snagged a good earning, fit o…
/r/WhereAreAllTheGoodMen04/11/19 02:11 PM
2

It just depends on your self awareness, IMO. Those who have little self awareness (most people) fall back on base instinct.
/r/WhereAreAllTheGoodMen04/11/19 02:47 AM
20

Saying "not looking for sex" or "no one night stands!" is a cost-free way of projecting chastity, so of course these lines are used all the time. It's like spraying a new car smell in an old beater.
/r/WhereAreAllTheGoodMen01/11/19 11:48 AM
2

Funny thing is, that doesn't mean they are happy. My uncle was an A+ Chad his whole life. Tall, muscle man, charming, had sex with thousands of women. "Scoring was his hobby". He was suicidal most of his adult life until he discovered (and you won't believe this) classical art, which he fell passionately in love with and became an art historian and appraiser for big auction houses. Turns out just having sex with a cruise ship worth of women didn't make life have meaning. It might have been for s…
/r/WhereAreAllTheGoodMen23/10/19 09:52 AM
5

I wouldn't say all women obviously, but they are more likely to than men for a whole litany of reasons. They've got nature working against them in the form of hormones but they also have social messaging up the wazoo about how letting all your feelings hang out is a good thing (but not if you are a man! If you are a man, control yourself!) And so of course if you are pregnant and have to make a decision on whether to keep it, a woman subject to these conditions is going to go with how they feel,…
/r/WhereAreAllTheGoodMen23/10/19 09:41 AM
2

I'd say this is definitely true (though nature plays a role too). When my wife was pregnant I spent so time on the Babycenter forums and I recall on a regular basis women would blow through saying "Single and pregnant, freaking out because I'm only 19 and completely unprepared for a bany. what do I do?!" There were some rational women trying to get these single-moms-to-be to think through it with a level head and consider abortion/adoption, but the vast majority of the advice was optimistic fluf…
/r/WhereAreAllTheGoodMen23/10/19 09:34 AM
13

This is absolutely a legit point, but let's be honest with ourselves: are there many women who say to themselves: I guess I'll just have to make a lifelong commitment that'll cost around $100,000 because I can't scrape together a few hundred dollars over x months time to get an abortion... It might be a part of the calculus that tips the scales one way or another from time to time, but most of the time I suspect they sit there with their hands on their abdomens and they imagine a cute little bab…
/r/WhereAreAllTheGoodMen22/10/19 08:21 PM
11

I agree, he doesn't, but no where what so ever did I say this was the only way a man could find purpose (see the list of things I mentioned for some examples). BUT, if you want to find a socially accepted purpose and you want to ratify it by raising children the way women do, it's way, way harder because you need to find a women to do it. And that's the point. There are a lot of ways for a man to find purpose and meaning in life, but they are all harder than a woman's trump card of just having a…
/r/WhereAreAllTheGoodMen22/10/19 04:08 PM
38

Wow, thanks for that monument of depth and analysis. The point of my comment was to explain the allure of single motherhood. Why do you think so many low-income women decide to pop one out despite being ill equipped and perfectly capable of getting an abortion? It's an easy way to make their life purposeful.
/r/WhereAreAllTheGoodMen22/10/19 04:02 PM
86

I think a very interesting, fundamental difference between men and women is the fact that men always have to fight tooth and claw to create a sense of purpose and meaning in their lives. If a man wants to feel like he has value, he needs to start a great career, create a business, discover something in the sciences, find a woman who considers him valuable so that he can start a family... But for women, if you are living a dull and uninteresting life, and all you have to do to fill your time and …
/r/WhereAreAllTheGoodMen22/10/19 03:24 PM
1

Exactly. It used to be that people only suspected "the creeps and weirdos" of being pedophiles. Sure, they are still suspects too, but now a few high profile guys who appeared to be totally normal hit the headlines (like that gymnastics coach) and so now there's this attitude that it's ESPECIALLY the straight laced, moral men that you have to be worried about. It basically just means that the only way you can avert being a suspect is to do as you say: divorce yourself from anything that involves…
/r/WhereAreAllTheGoodMen21/10/19 04:25 PM
2

Ugh, of course it's the responsibility of women to "stop toxic masculinity." Why? Because the number one influence on male behavior in every single species on planet Earth is who females choose to mate with and why. My field was in reproductive behavior and fecunditity in other species. If females reward male fidelity? The males are often willing to mate for life. But if females collect sperm packets from dozens of other males like an octopus and splatter them all on their eggs all at once? 0 ma…
/r/WhereAreAllTheGoodMen21/10/19 09:57 AM
1

I don't think it's weird at all. I think if you were to do a survey of incels, the ones that were super angry probably would be much less likely to be involved in successful careers, otherwise, they wouldn't be incels for much longer unless they had severe malformities or something (as you demonstrated yourself with unInceling your gainfully employed friend). And like you just got done saying earlier, the incels with "something going for them" tend to be the ones that don't even call themselves …
/r/PurplePillDebate20/10/19 12:30 PM
1

I'd say this is generally true, but way overstating it. If you are a tall, attractive white man then yeah, all doors are open. If you are a run of the mill white guy with no stand out qualities? You are probably in the pack with everyone else. Except if you are either east or south Asian. Then you are completely screwed in the dating scene unless you have a skyscrapper full of money like Scrooge McDuck. In the U.S., Asian men are horribly discriminated against in the dating scene, and it persona…
/r/PurplePillDebate20/10/19 11:01 AM
2

Oh, interesting. Well, then it sounds more like my place then.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/10/19 10:50 AM
1

Alright, thanks for that perspective. So it seems like the toxic ones tend to aggregate on the internet to mutually express their bitterness. The non-toxic ones are focused on their careers, lol.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/10/19 10:34 AM
3

How did you get that out of what I said? What made you think I was feeling bad for the guy? Why does everyone need every situation to be bifurcated into "the righteous, righteous victim" and the "evil, evil perpetrator." It's perfectly possible for a naive woman and a jerk boy to hop into the sack consensually--- and having a bad experience--- without it being rape. And if the case I illustrated above happened, then yeah, the woman would be culpable for the negative outcome of feeling bad about …
/r/PurplePillDebate20/10/19 10:31 AM
2

What was purge week?
/r/PurplePillDebate20/10/19 10:24 AM
3

I dunno man, I used to just peek in at the old Incel.me forum (I think that's where it was?) and most of them were a breed of their own. The bitterness, the anger, the rage. I got banned because I finally spoke up so that I could express sympathy for them, and this (for some reason?) was a cardinal sin. Like I totally agree that using "Incel" as a pejorative is a bad idea for a lot of reasons, but it feels like just about anyone I've seen who calls themselves "Incel" tends to be calamatously tox…
/r/PurplePillDebate20/10/19 01:40 AM
3

I just showed up here and was sorta hoping it would be an acceptable place to express moderate perspectives? Like, I probably agree with about maybe 35 percent of informal Redpill doctrine, but it gets a little bit comically extreme. I see so many redpillers that rage at the notion that some people do in fact get married and live happily ever after.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/10/19 01:29 AM
8

My mother came from a very broken and dysfunctional home (physical abuse, verbal abuse, possibly sexual abuse also?) Sadly, most of her siblings started dysfunctional families, too. But she didn't, she just rationally asked herself "how do I want MY family to be?" She set rules for herself. "I will always say I am sorry if so get upset." That sort of thing. She was a very good mother and raised 3 great kids. That being said, the scars of her childhood never completely went away, and they bleed i…
/r/RedPillWomen20/10/19 01:24 AM
7

I think this is a good point. People can be driven into a temporary mania when they are dealing with extreme emotions. Doesn't mean they are 24/7 "crazy." Imagine a woman consenting to sex, it goes rather badly with her expectations not being met, the guy brags about it to a few of his friends, said friend calls girl a "slut" and it gets back around to her. She's humiliated, depressed, angry, etc. Most of all, she feels used and worthless. Now imagine she has her gender studies professor whisper…
/r/PurplePillDebate20/10/19 01:14 AM
39

Lol, if I were dating, women that mention that they get bored easily wouldn't be a red flag, it'd be a blaring, red, air raid siren. The phrase "I get bored easily" sounds subtle, but it says a lot. "Once the new energy phase of our relationship is over, I will get bored of you. I will assume that it is your fault too for not being exciting, thus I will look to other men so that I won't be bored." "Treating my boredom condition costs money. A steady trickle of trips and toys and trinkets. I expe…
/r/WhereAreAllTheGoodMen20/10/19 12:26 AM
1

It's a fast way for women lacking purpose in their lives to give themselves a sense of purpose.
/r/WhereAreAllTheGoodMen18/10/19 05:27 PM
13

Congratulations, but the data on the subject suggest that you are in the top 20th percentile or higher (obviously depends on state). Its great when people have "maximized the leveraging of their talents" but I don't think its a good idea to present the 20th percentile of earners in a trade as somehow being the norm, as it'll distort how people evaluate their life choices.
/r/WhereAreAllTheGoodMen17/10/19 12:27 PM
6

I agree, you can make bank with STEM, even well into 6 figures working for someone else. I know chemists, geologists, etc with just an undergrad who make over 100k as employees (wife included, who makes over 100k as a geologist). If you want to be an academic, though? There's a good chance you'll be pretty broke, unless you are really passionate about what you do. The problem is people who went to uni because their mommy and daddy thought it was short hand for success, and have 0 passion for the…
/r/WhereAreAllTheGoodMen17/10/19 11:28 AM
23

I was thinking this. 55k? Not too hard. 80k? If they pull 50 hours a week. 120k? Not impossible, but you'd need to run a company with employees or be an independent plumber who is super efficiency minded, runs his small business himself, has an established customer base, and puts in 50-60 hours a week. At that point though, if you are that talented then you probably should have gone to uni for infotech and used all of those business and efficiency skills to do even better than 120k.
/r/WhereAreAllTheGoodMen17/10/19 10:37 AM
3

I mean, you kind of make a good point here. I've noticed that low class women tend to be attracted to men that exude machismo, and nothing magnifies this machismo more than the stereotype of the "big, hyper masculine, thug, black man." What's really unfortunate is the expectation and pressure this puts on black men who don't want to lean into that narrow stereotype. I grew up with two black guys who were twins, and neither of them fit this stereotype as they were both kind of computer nerds and …
/r/WhereAreAllTheGoodMen13/10/19 11:25 PM
3

Ah yes, the classic girl that watched too many Disney Princess movies and romantic comedies and romance novels as a kid and teenager and now allows it to define her expectations of a love life. Of course, none of those flights of fantasy ever describe the happily ever after, so now she wants a person with whom she'll have eternal "new relationship energy." But as always, once that new relationship energy fades she thinks it's because "she hasn't found the one," pitches a guy she didn't deserve t…
/r/WhereAreAllTheGoodMen10/10/19 05:36 PM
48

Lol, that struck me as odd too. I don't rigorously scrutinize the feet of people I don't care about.
/r/WhereAreAllTheGoodMen09/10/19 01:10 PM
5

Neither do we have the information to assume that the mother was justified in immediately calling the cops on no actual material evidence, but you seem fine with that. Are you saying that this COULDN'T have been handled in a way that didn't needlessly ruin a man's career??? I'm not insisting that she did, I'm suggesting it's a possibility. How do I know? My pre-school teacher went to jail in the 80's for "ritualistically, satanically abusing children" and was only recently exonerated and release…
/r/WhereAreAllTheGoodMen09/10/19 09:45 AM
7

The problem is that it's really easy to coerce an explanation out of a child that isn't the actual explanation. I suspect the son came to her vaguely mentioning the episode without naming names. There's a good chance then that the mother wanted to know who and that it was she that pointed the finger. There's a very long history of adults--- even professional psychologists--- who have inadvertently coerced false confessions from their young kids, and unfortunately the kids rarely understand the i…
/r/WhereAreAllTheGoodMen09/10/19 01:43 AM
47

This. This needs more upvotes. It doesn't matter how righteously you've lived your life, it doesn't matter how pure hearted you are. You will always be a suspect. Protect yourselves.
/r/WhereAreAllTheGoodMen09/10/19 01:40 AM
31

It sucks, but this is exhibit A for why so many men are reluctant to be nurturing influences in children's lives. If you show an interest in the wellbeing of a child that isn't your, you will immediately attract suspicion and be a target for these kinds of accusations (and for any of you who have children of your own too, you know that kids 8 and under can say some totally off the walls, bonkers things). It sucks that the son was molested by someone, but I bet I know how that conversation went b…
/r/WhereAreAllTheGoodMen09/10/19 01:29 AM
3

Yeah, I read the story about what happened with you and your wife. Totally bonkers, but I'm really impressed by how you took the high road so that you could do right by your kids in the end. Well played. Just glad you found your real life sooner than my grandpa did.
/r/WhereAllTheGoodMenAre05/10/19 10:21 AM
7

Violent physical abuse I think tends to get most of the attention, but as others have said here, I think persistant emotional abuse can be just as damaging. Not only can it be just as damaging but it's also far more common and in some cases, considered socially acceptable or bemusing to outsiders (see Walter Mitty). My grandfather was emotionally abused and tormented by his wife in this way. I remember seeing it as a kid and knowing even then--- even at 8 years old--- "this is not right." My gra…
/r/WhereAllTheGoodMenAre05/10/19 12:36 AM
17

Maybe they don't? Like, I think one thing you can say for gay guys is that it seems like there is way fewer pretenses when it comes to love and sexuality. There are unlikely any unexpected kids involved, there is no impetus to sponge your partner for resources, etc. Men and women want different things from one another. But two men are probably much more likely to want the same thing. So if you are at that point where you just want a bunch of sex in your life? You'll find plenty of that. Want to …
/r/WhereAreAllTheGoodMen03/10/19 11:01 AM
30

Lol, on the subject of gay married men, gay men are the most likely to stay married of just about any demographic pairing--- where as two lesbians are most likely to get divorced. Sorta makes sense when you think about. Two chills dudes in their 30's vs 2 high strung women in their 30's? Not hard to predict the likely outcome there.
/r/WhereAreAllTheGoodMen03/10/19 09:47 AM
1

Since you took the time to write something, I felt it was courteous to reply. I don't disagree with much of your descriptions. I'm a biologist. I was banished from a University sociology class once for suggesting that there was sexual dimorphism between men and women, and that gender wasn't a social construct. So no, I don't buy the idea that men and women are literally the same. It'd be nice to talk about the subtleties where I veer off from your perspectives up above, but judging by the commen…
/r/WhereAreAllTheGoodMen23/09/19 09:33 PM
0

It sounds like you are making a lot of assumptions about my positions that aren't at all true. The answer to why I would bother spending time in the manosphere: because there is literally no where else to go academically to understand "what it means to be a man now a days." Way back in college when I signed up for a gender studies class, I thought I'd get a deep dive in understanding masculinity in a post industrial age. Instead I got an anti-male screed in the guise of scholasticism. And just b…
/r/WhereAreAllTheGoodMen23/09/19 07:27 PM
1

Thank you for your straightforward honesty. It's tedious to have to drill down past someone's defences to know what they really think. I mean, I can't really argue with you because the things you say are hyperbolic, ambiguous, and I suspect mainly meant to be provocative, but it's still good to know where you are coming from. Would you say most people on this sub feel this way? I've spent enough years popping into the Red Pill/PUO/MRA/Chateau Heartiste internet milieu to know that this is a comm…
/r/WhereAreAllTheGoodMen23/09/19 04:44 PM
1

Looks like he rose to the challenge. I'll avoid numeration this time. Pretty much everything you say up above is true if your premise is that the only legit version of marriage is a Victorian Age marriage (which some people expect). But why are we beholden to just that version? You brushed over it quickly by saying "in any sane society, marriage is A,B, C" as though its a given that something like an egalitarian marriage is somehow innately bad for reasons. But if my own true egalitarian version…
/r/WhereAreAllTheGoodMen23/09/19 10:46 AM
0

So to backtrack, I led with the quibble but thought your original analysis was well thought, well written and spot on. I've seen the other things you write in this sub and it's very sharp. That being said: Because some men want a settled life with a person that has similar wants/needs in life. It's probably something that only highly compatible people should do, because the potential costs can quickly outweigh the various legal benefits. Some of the literal legal benefits here: https://www.money…
/r/WhereAreAllTheGoodMen23/09/19 02:53 AM
3

Good analysis. You can't have it all, and if you try to have it all, good chance you'll end up with nothing. I do have a quibble though, I think it's totally impractical to expect a woman to be a virgin upon getting married (just as I expect the same for men). If it happens to all fall into place for the first time around for people like my wife and I, that's great, but it's virtually impossible to know whether you are sexually compatible until you've had sex (both labido and preference) and imp…
/r/WhereAreAllTheGoodMen22/09/19 07:15 PM
2

Well said. I wouldn't bother browsing this sub from time to time if it was a cannibalistic Incel sub ("Having a rough time 'cause you did the 'right thing' and got burned? Here, let me kick you while you are down.") The guy that we're all reading about didn't do anything "bad," he just didn't look out for himself. There's a point where selflessness and emotional generosity isn't actually doing anyone any good.
/r/WhereAreAllTheGoodMen19/09/19 11:54 AM
You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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